Chapter Text
"But if you're happy, I'll get through somehow. But the truth is, I've been screaming out."
For the nth time of the night, Steve Rogers found himself constantly thanking Sam Wilson for deciding to come to the party with him. Sam had been busy finding and tracing clues for their missing person for months, and Steve was grateful enough that despite such a hectic schedule, he still agreed to come.
It sounded childish of him to have this sense of wary being alone. It was already given that Tony and Thor will be together, battling on whose girlfriend is better. Already given that Maria Hill and Dr. Helen will be together - talking about God knows what women talks about all the time. And of course, it's obviously given that Natasha and Bruce are together - and for once, Steve didn't want to be a part of it.
"Cap... earth to Cap, earth to Cap are you still there?" Sam guffawed, his elbow giving a soft nudge to that of his.
His shoulders tensed, abruptly turning his head to his friend's direction - shamefully admitting the fact that the sight of Natasha and Bruce got him distracted - once again... for the nth time of the night. It wasn't a sight worth seeing, and it wasn't as if something special was going on every once in a while. It was all pure flirtation - that's what he likes to think, and for that reason it's okay. But his heart, his weak unexplained heart couldn't keep its steady beating to himself, and he bet Sam felt that too.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?" A hand rubbing the back of his neck, and the other having a firm grip on the bottle as if he's contemplating to throw it some place else.
Sam raised an eyebrow, tilting his head in amusement. Well he definitely knows what's going on in him.
"You're distracted." He said, stating it as an actual fact.
He turned his attention back to Bruce and Natasha, intrigued of what their conversations are all about. What's taking either of them so long to part?
Most importantly, why in the world was Steve Rogers thinking of these? It's not as if it's his business to tell them what to do and what not to do. He may be the leader of this damn team, but why can't he fight the urge not to meddle in between the two? Being jealous is highly irrational, he's not in the right place to be acting this way when there has never been a label in this unexplained relationship he have with Natasha.
He finally came to his senses, turning his head back to Sam - shadowing an expression of someone who's clearly not affected with God knows what's currently going on in his head right now. "Oh yeah- what makes you say that?"
Sam laughed, "You really want me to state the obvious now?" He challenged, eyes landing to both Bruce and Natasha sitting on the bar below from them.
Steve tensed, a hand raised with a gesture of surrender. "Look, it's not what you think...-"
"What is there left for me to say?" He trailed off, hearing Steve sigh the minute Natasha leaned even closer to the man he's talking to. "You're jealous."
"Am not." He abruptly cuts him off.
"Don't argue with me, man - you're not gonna win."
Steve sighed in defeat as Sam placed a hand on his shoulder. "How long has this been going on?"
He rolled his eyes, his body pressed on the ledge as if he was dying to reach out to her. "I don't know, Sam - it just... came. The first time I saw them."
Sam squinted, pressing for more answers and Steve slyly placed a palm on his forehead, as if what he had done was wrong. "The lullaby was supposed to help him remain calm, to let go of the Hulk and all... then it suddenly turned intimate, now it's just more than that."
He shook his head in disbelief, "C'mon man, Natasha's only flirting."
"Do you even see the way she looks at him?" He asked, his tone masked with an intention of someone who's incredibly hurt. "I could tell cause it's different... when it's me."
He raised an eyebrow and asked, "Steve, are you seriously going to believe that she's falling for him?"
He nodded, taking a full swig of liquid down to his throat. It couldn't get him drunk, but jusy by thinking of her makes him intoxicated. "I don't see any reason why... I mean - Banner's a nice guy."
"And you aren't?"
"I don't know, Sam. Okay? That doesn't matter anymore..." He scanned the remaining contents of his beer, quite surprised to find out that it's almost empty - and not to mention, this was his eight beer of the night. And it's not even midnight. "I just want her to be happy." He whispered to himself.
Sam heard it, of course he did. As much as he wanted help his friend, he couldn't think of anymore reasons to say. It frustrates him, how he knew they badly deserved to be together, but both were just too stubborn to admit it. Steve already made the decision, and that's something he should respect. "So all those looks you shared back in my place..."
"Nothing."
"To her, possibly... but to you?"
His jaw clenched as his grip from the railing tightened. "I don't want to talk about it anymore, man."
Sam grinned, clasping his hand to his shoulder. "You know, when you say that - it feels like you're telling everything... And by everything means yes... you are affected."
He turned his head around until his back leaned against the railing. Neither Bruce or Natasha wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. He heaved a sigh and forced a tight smile on his face, "Maybe I am... but like what I said, that doesn't matter anymore."
Sam scoffed, leaning back against the railing, his shoulder bumping with Steve's. "I just thought... you guys were ya know... something more."
Steve smirked, turning his head back around to take one look at the redhead from afar again. Natasha was laughing from down below. As her eyes were tightly shut and her hand placed on her chest, Steve couldn't control the rapid beating of his heart. The minute she opened her eyes once again, the first thing that she noticed was Steve gazing from upstairs. She knew it was her he was looking at, and so, managed a smile to the Captain. Steve waved back and turned to Sam, "Yeah, I thought so too."
He gave one last longing look on her, nodded his head in reply to Sam and left. Of course Natasha saw the abrupt change of expression on his face... she couldn't help but follow him.
After calling it a night to both Tony and Thor, he made his way back to the elevator to his floor. Just when the the elevator doors were about to close, a hand prevented it from doing so and pried it open, revealing one Natasha Romanoff with an unreadable expression across her face. Steve cleared his throat, avoiding her eyes as he leaned against one corner to give her space.
"Leaving so soon, Cap?" Natasha asked, eyebrows raised as if she was waiting for a challege. Just like Steve, she wasn't looking at him... it almost feel like she was avoiding his eyes too.
"Yeah. A bit tired, actually - "
"Not buying it." She crossed her arms on her chest, shaking her head. She's a spy for God's sake, of course she knows when something's up.
"Well you can assume anyway you want, all I know is - I'm going to bed." Steve ran a hand on his hair and took a few steps closer to the elevator buttons, "What floor?"
"To yours." Natasha pushed him aside and pressed the button, but not to his floor as to what he thought they'll end up in. Before Steve could even react, she went on and pressed the emergency button as the whole metal box came to a stop. She turned her head around as she came face to face with Steve whose face was filled with a shade of red.
"What's wrong?" She whispered, frowning as if she was disappointed about their height difference. Steve wondered why until now she wasn't looking at him.
"Nothing, okay? Now please step aside -"
"I'm not asking you again." She reminded him sternly. And this time, her green eyes finally met with his. There was so much intensity by the way she looked at him, though he couldn't quite exactly interpret what's wrong.
"You don't have to - I've already said my piece." He turned around to reach the elevator buttons but Natasha blocked him just before he can do so. This time, his face was merely inches to hers as Natasha began to walk, cornering him. Her sweet perfume intoxicating his whole system.
"So you trying to avoid me and declining my offers are all nothing to you? I don't need to actually become a spy to determine when something isn't right."
Steve scoffed, "We train the team everyday, Romanoff - "
"And since when did you start calling me by my last name, huh?" She asked with arms crossed, ocean eyes lost in thought of what to say.
She waited, anything it took to get an answer from him. But all Steve managed to do was to simply stare at her, features almost stoic.
When Steve didn't reply, her arms let loose as she turned her gaze away, her back now facing him, disappointed. "You've always been honest. That's what you told me... How hard can the truth be?"
He felt crushed. She still remembered, of course she does. He remembered the exact details that happened back in that day as well. It was the day where they've let their walls down and became open to one another. The day he knew there was so much more to Natasha, than what the eye perceives. The day he felt whole again... to know that in a world like this, there's always someone - someone who you can relate with. He may not share the same life experience as her, but she understands - and for that, he's eternally grateful. He had never felt this way before since Bucky and Peggy.
She pressed the button as the elevator went into motion once again. With another press going to her floor. They rode the elevator in silence, Steve's hand clasped tightly with one another. He wanted to approach her, but he couldn't think of the right words to say no matter how hard he pried his head to think of something. At least something.
When the elevator finally came to a halt, the doors opened revealing an entrance to her place.
Without glancing, she began to step off the elevator when she felt his fingers grazing over her arm. "Natasha." He called her, finally. These words almost foreign coming from his mouth. She remained her composure and completely walked out from the metal box.
"Good night, Captain."
The doors were this close from completely closing, when he spoke once again. "It's hard when you know feelings are involved." He said in a low and firm tone, making sure she's the only one who gets the message.
And... She heard it, right until the last word. With a mask of curiosity on her face, she turned around to look back only to find out that the the doors has already closed.
"Steve..."