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Victor had noticed Eli slip out the door at 3pm, but he’d thought nothing of it. It wasn’t his job to be concerned about his whereabouts every minute- even though he saw Eli take a camera with him, even though he couldn’t help but feel a pang of distress at the thought of not going somewhere with him. It’s not like they were inseparable … although these days it was starting to seem like it.
Victor had gone on with his day, albeit slightly more alone than usual. He printed up his research for the following day, made a couple cups of coffee, checked his phone, looked over his notes, and wandered around listlessly in circles. He couldn’t hold his focus as much as usual, and despite the looming threat of an assessment, he somehow still felt pretty prepared nonetheless. His eyes lingered on the empty kitchen table, and Eli’s notes haphazardly strewn across it. It was 6pm, and still no sign of him. To get his mind off things, Victor found himself wandering into his bedroom, grabbing one of the thick books beside his bed. He opens it to the latest dogeared page, half covered in black lines, words obscured by his own hand. He takes up a marker and settles down on the bed, beginning to destroy his parents' words, one at a time. The heavy scratch of the marker across the page stills his thoughts, lulling him into a deep sense of focus. Time fades around him, and he finds himself slowly losing track of the day.
-
Eli runs, the rustle of leaves crunching underfoot as he hits the ground, the dark silhouettes of trees looming around him menacingly. He clutches a large book to his chest, a camera clasped in one hand, a broken torch in the other. The distant shouts of other men echo through the clearing, muffled words slipping through the trees like deadly snakes. He tries to discern the direction of the commotion, but he can’t quite make out where the exit is so he pushes his feet on further as mud and grass stain his clothes, the night pressing in with every passing minute.
“Hurry!! He went that way!”
Eli hears the men stop as a twig snaps loudly behind him, causing him to jump. He stands perfectly still, switching the torch off. As darkness surrounds him on all sides, he sighs, breath ragged from running. How did things end up like this? At the same time, another thought floats to the surface of his mind. Why didn’t I bring Victor?
-
By the time Victor drags himself out of his state of mindless concentration, it’s nearly 8pm. He wanders out of his room, listening for any sign of his roommate having returned. The hall outside is dark, the lights still remain off.
“Hello? Eli, are you back?”
He waits for an answer, but nobody replies. Victor grabs his phone out of his pocket and taps the screen to life. The screen lights up but displays no messages. He finds Eli’s contact and hits the call button, holding the phone to his ear as it hums with a tuneless ringtone. He waits for several minutes before the call switches to an answer phone. A loud beep sounds before the static of Eli’s voice fills the room.
Hi there, you have reached the phone of Eliot Cardale. If you are hearing this, I am probably busy right now. Please be patient, I will get back to you soon! Thank you.
Victor's stomach fills with dread, he has never known Eli not to answer his phone, even on stream he would stop to answer anyone who needed him. He tries the number again and again with no success, finally sitting down at the kitchen table in defeat. He figures that if there was a real issue, Eli would have contacted him by now. He’s halfway through making a cup of herbal tea to soothe the racing tension in his body when there's a loud knock at the front door. He immediately goes to the door, fiddling with the lock before it opens with a soft click. Victor stops in shock as he sees Eli standing there, breathing heavily with a panicked look in his eyes. His clothes are covered in dirt, grass staining his knees, and a large book is cradled in his arms. He’s looking at Victor with a sort of manic relief as he just silently enters the doorway, closes the door quietly behind him, and falls into Victor's arms.
“Vic I- I messed up . I was so stressed about the upcoming assessment and I couldn’t focus, I just didn’t know what to do so I went into the woods to go look for a witch but it didn’t work out and the park rangers caught me trespassing and I had to run for a couple hours in the dark- God , I don’t think I can do this anymore, I can’t even manage keep up my grades. I used to be such a model student but I’m so scared- I’m so scared I’m going to fail and then I’ll never amount to anything anymore. I’m no one without the grades, I won't amount to anything in my future. I feel like such an idiot. Ugh, why am I telling you all this. I should keep my mouth shut, stupid nerves have gotten to me. Sorry- I’m… Sorry.”
Eli’s voice sounds muffled against Victor's chest as he mumbles wildly, words running into each other in his haste. Victor immediately feels guilty for even considering the fact that Eli was purposely ignoring him. He seems clearly distressed and Victor is unsure of how to offer some sort of comfort, so he settles on placing his hand lightly on his roommate's back. Eli leans into the gesture with ease.
“Hey, don’t worry about it Eli, you’re home now. Why don’t you go get cleaned up and we can talk this through over some tea.”
Eli cautiously detaches himself from him, nods lightly, and trudges off in the direction of their bathroom, dropping the large book onto the table with a heavy thud. Victor decides to resume making tea, thinking that it will help ease both their nerves. He brings two steaming cups to rest on the table before sitting down to wait, looking curiously at the dirty book lying there. He can’t deny that he isn’t a tiny bit intrigued by it, he has never seen it before today and doesn’t even recall Eli owning such a thing. Victor is usually the one who owns all the heavy overbearing literature. The cover is blank and worn with age, and he opens it with growing excitement. The inside page is also blank, but a quick flick through reveals it is a book of ‘spells’ and various bits of information. There’s a dog eared page near the end and Victor turns to it, a dark illustration staring back up at him. The top of the page reads ‘spell for good luck’, it involves going into the woods and handful of ingredients among other things. Victor thinks he has seen enough to gauge the situation. Just then he hears the creak of the door opening and Eli steps back out, clothed in a much cleaner looking set of cream colored pajamas. Victor glares up at him with critical eyes, his stare concerned but also full of disapproval.
“So let me get this straight. You went into the woods to find a witch to help you pass your exams? And that was somehow a good idea?”
His eyes light up with shame as he sees the open book underneath Victor's hands. He sits down silently, reaching for the other cup of tea, sipping on it appreciatively. Eli sighs wearily, eyes drifting hesitantly back towards him.
“I thought it was a good idea at the time .”
He looks up at Eli, taking in the regret within his expression, the tightness of his face, whole body still on edge. Victor should be mad, concerned for his safety, angry that he didn’t tell him what he was doing, but instead he just frowns slightly.
“If you needed help Eli, you should have just asked me . I already learnt all the content a couple days ago, I could have helped you study, no problem at all.”
He huffs stubbornly.
“It’s not just the test Victor, I’ve been falling behind in everything . My focus has slipped, I’ve been relying solely on my streams to get me through this term, they bring me happiness, if only for a short amount of time. I’ve been struggling like this for a while I think, I just didn't want to admit it before. I… put all this pressure on myself, I feel so disappointed, sometimes I feel like you don’t even try, and I’m stuck here working so hard for nothing.”
Victor doesn’t know what to say, he’s experienced the same sort of feelings before but he isn’t a talkative person and he’s never tried to give any actual advice. He settles for carefully stretching his hand out towards Eli, hoping he will understand the silent notion. Victor looks up at him with solemn eyes, willing them to say everything he can’t possibly voice.
“I...I know it sounds dumb coming from me, but I know how you feel, this has happened to me before. You have to realize, you can’t be perfect all the time Eli, nobody can. It’s practically impossible. Sure, it may have taken a foolish belief in the occult and a trip to the woods after hours to get you to realize that but… as long as you can accept your failures and work towards a better future, it will have been worth it.”
He smiles warmly, trying to offer some sense of reassurance. Victor is determined to see Eli through this, offer help to someone he cares about, to make up for the time when he had no one to rely on himself. There is an awful moment of silence between them, both staring down at the table in reluctance, before Eli decides to break it by brushing his fingers up against his. He’s focused intensely on Victor's chest, the attention making him shift uncomfortably under Eli’s gaze. The back of his neck begins to tingle hotly as Eli finally speaks.
“My gift... you’re still wearing it?”
His words surprise Victor, who quickly realizes he was staring at the cross fastened neatly around his neck. The one Eli gave to him. The truth was, he’d never taken it off since, he liked its presence, the weight like a comfort upon his chest.
“Why wouldn’t I be? You gave it to me after all.”
He tilts his head in question as if to say, why did you change the subject so fast Cardale? Except, he knows Eli’s ways and he won’t push it any further. Instead, he gets up quietly and moves over to his desk, gathering up the papers scattered upon it. He walks back over to the table and drops them in front of Eli.
“Take these. I know it's a bit late but they might help you a little bit. Go get some rest, there will be time to study in the morning.”
He turns away to head to his room before Eli can get a look at his face, hot with anticipation. He still wasn’t used to being helpful, and Victor was unsure whether he’d ever really adjust.
Eli calls weakly after him, “Thank you! Hope you get some rest too, Vic.”
Victor smiles softly to himself as he enters his room. He knows Eli won't really go to sleep, he’d stay up all night cram studying. He was beginning to get to know his roommate's habits a little too well. He sighs, falling gracefully onto his bed. When he finally closes his eyes for the night, he can still hear the faint scratching of Eli’s pen as he hurriedly writes notes down the hall. Victor lets the image sink into his mind as he drifts off - Eli bathed in the lamplight of his desk, glasses slipping gently off his nose as his brow furrows in concentration.
For the first time in a while, he manages to sleep through the whole night without a single interruption.