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Heart Shaped Box

Summary:

“I’m sorry.” He said, clearing his throat slightly as he spoke, uncomfortable with the vulnerability and lack of excuses in his bank. “I feel like an ass.”

Silence. Nothing came from her for a few moments, long enough that Andrew actually wondered if she’d cried herself to sleep. Then there was a slight shuffling, until pink eyes peaked out from underneath the covers, black hair mussed.

“You are an ass.”

Work Text:

Valentine’s day was never a holiday of ease for the Graves. Granted, nothing was really easy for the siblings, complexity seemed to be one of the rare common themes throughout their lives. Nevertheless, If their parents didn’t kick them out for the evening, Andrew would leave Ashley alone, while he went off with whatever hussy was the latest in a series of girls with dark hair and bright eyes. But heaven forbid he spend time with her like that. 

It was fine when they were younger. The two of them would exchange crappy valentines and curl up on the couch to watch shitty romcoms or horror if Ashley could convince Andrew- she normally could. 

 

As they got older, though, all of a sudden, what used to be common place would get pushed back farther and farther into the evening, to sometimes be forgotten altogether. That’s not even mentioning the time Andrew got home well past one am one year, reeking of some other girl’s perfume and forgetting all about the plans they’d kept since they were old enough to exchange cards. He came home to a messy her side of the room, and a beyond pissed off Ashley. Since then, they’d kept the plans standing, Andrew promising to be home earlier, if Ashley promised to try to behave herself in the mean-time. 

 

That didn’t help though, the night he crept in after a date with Julia. Sneaking quietly like a cat out onto the balcony for one more smoke before dealing with the inevitable scolding from Ashley that awaited him in their room. 

 

Flicking open his lighter, he nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard movement from behind him (so maybe his parents didn’t know he smoked yet, he liked to keep it that way a little longer) but relaxed, discovering it was just Ashley, her small frame draped in her usual long sleeve black shirt and gray shorts, so she all-too-conveniently blended in with the dark. 

 

“God, what are you doing just sitting in the dark like that? Bloody terrifying…” He murmured, taking an inhale. 

 

“You’re late.” 

 

A sigh and a beat, as if he thought she may just give up and go inside if he was stoic enough. But he was never that lucky. “...I know, I just lost track of time with Julia, and-” 

 

“That hussy takes priority over plans we’ve had for years?” She spat the words like they were sour on her tongue, as if she couldn’t fathom the fact he might spend time with his girlfriend, of all people. 

 

“It’s not like that…”  It was like that.

 

“Then what is it like, Andy?” The way she annunciated each word, made shivers roll up his back. The calm before the storm, like when the bugs hum loudly enough to signify the beginning of something that would inevitably destroy them in their own homes, nervously flitting about. That’s exactly what it was like with Ashley, Andrew thought to himself silently. 

 

“Don’t call me that.” 

 

“Don’t bail on me then.” she retorted, getting up to stand in front of him, as if this somehow made her more intimidating. 

 

She seemed to forget now that he was much taller than that little pushover, Andy, was. She was never tall, neither was he, but at the very least, she used to be up to about his brow line. Now, she had to look up to glare at him, and he looked down on her, now physically as well. Little face scrunched up with emotions she likely couldn’t even name, Andrew almost caved right then and there, as he felt a wave of pity take over. She was still his sister, still his Ashley. 

 

“Ashley, she’s my girlfriend, I can’t just constantly be at your beck and call. Somewhere in that pea-sized brain you have to know that.” He sighed, unable to keep the irritation that pinched his voice and soured his tongue. 

 

“So some bitch you can dip your dick in takes priority over your own sister?!” She barked, bright pink eyes narrowing to sharp little slits. “You do this every time, Andy! Every-Fucking-Time!”

 

“Oh blow it out of your ass! Must you hound me for every single date I go on? God, I swear you’re insufferable sometimes” 

 

“Why is she more important?! As soon as she comes in it’s like you forget about me! Well I’m still here, Andrew, even after you bail for the umpteenth time!” Her voice was watery, like it always got when she started in with those all too familiar crocodile tears. Shaking hands, too small to contain their body’s anger, stiffly shoved something against his chest, leaving a small ‘oo mph ’ to escape his lips as he stumbled back on his feet from the impact. 

 

Before he could even get a word out, the balcony door slammed shut. Leaving him, his cigarettes, and a small heart shaped box of chocolates, alone in the cool February air. 

 

So that was what immediate regret felt like…

 

He sighed. She did have a point. No matter what, at the end of the day, she was always there, waiting for him. Even in the wake of destruction and her arguably over-emotive dramatics, She was there, a little puddle of a sensitivity, waiting to be put back together by the one who had broken her in the first place. 

 

It never lasted long, normally she’d be putting everything back the way it was the next day, so it was like it never happened, erasing any idea that she may have been hurt. Andrew loved to remind her how he was always cleaning up the messes she made (more figuratively, than anything), but she was surprisingly tidy after her bouts of rage. As if she, too, wanted to forget it had ever happened. 

-

Since she was a child, Ashley had the tendency to wear her emotions on her sleeve. She couldn’t really help it, Andrew imagined, not when the world seemed so hell-bent on beating her down in the first place.

Even back in primary school, that seemed to be the case. Nobody ever gave her valentines, unless they were forced to by parents or teachers, which, they often weren’t. 

 

Andrew could remember the whole thing, that sad little face she had, sitting on the secondary school steps as she waited for him, holding only one card, which he suspected was from her teacher (not that her pride would ever allow her to say that out loud to him). 

 

Quickly, he had pulled whatever cards he had gotten from friends and some of the other girls in his grade, and where it was addressed to him, he wrote her name as well, next to his own. Satisfied with his quick thinking, he walked over to LeyLey, who was still very much preoccupied with the solitary card. 

 

“Hey,” She murmured, not looking up at him when he paused waiting for her to gather her things. 

 

“Hey yourself, some of my classmates addressed these valentines to both of us. You want the candy?” He offered the small stack of cards and boxes of candy hearts, as she stood up. 

 

Her face melted into a coy smile as she took his olive branch of placation. “What? Now that you’re a seventh year, you don’t like candy?” 

 

A smirk tugged at his lips, of course she’d never say a simple ‘thank you’, instead opting for complexity, though he couldn’t say he was much different. “Well if you’re gonna be a bitch about it, I’ll take them back-...” 

 

“No!” fuschia eyes widened in urgency, as she clasped the cards close to her chest. Quickly though, that worry was replaced with her usual relaxed expression, a tiny half-smile etched on her face. “You gave ‘em to me. No backsies.” 

 

Andy couldn’t help the eye roll, even if it was a bit funny. “Whatever, just come on. I want to get home and warm up.” 

-

When he walked back inside, the apartment was quite, thankfully. Their parents’ date nights always seemed to end loudly enough for Andrew to put in his earbuds, or bury his face in the pillow and try to drown it out. Both methods were woefully ineffective. But tonight, for once, it was actually quiet. 

 

The second pleasant surprise of the night,was finding his and Ashley’s room still put together when he walked in. That was one less headache to deal with. Still, when he looked over to see an Ashley sized lump under her favorite star comforter, he felt a twinge of renewed ache in his heart. 

 

Settling on the blankets, her old, rickety bed groaning slightly under their shared weight, he placed a nervous hand on what he could only assume was one of her legs, drawn up tight to her chest. 

 

“I’m sorry.” He said, clearing his throat slightly as he spoke, uncomfortable with the vulnerability and lack of excuses in his bank. “I feel like an ass.” 

 

Silence. Nothing came from her for a few moments, long enough that Andrew actually wondered if she’d cried herself to sleep. Then there was a slight shuffling, until pink eyes peaked out from underneath the covers, black hair mussed. “You are an ass.” 

 

“Okay, I am an ass.” he conceded, with a small grin of relief at her engaging with him. At least he hadn’t irrevocably fucked up, that was good. Take the small wins. “I just didn’t think that a few hours mattered that much, especially when I always see you. I thought you knew that you are more important, because of course you are.” 

 

Bringing a hand up, he smoothed out her hair before resting it under her right cheek. Getting a closer look, Andrew could see the puffy red rims around her eyes, and feel her warm, damp cheeks. Before he could say anything about it, Ashley leaned into his touch, flashing a little grin, as she drew back the blankets a bit more and moved over to give him some room. 

 

“You promise you mean that?” 

 

“I swear to you.” 

 

“On your life?” 

 

A gentle huff of a laugh escaped him as jade eyes narrowed at her. “Jesus, do you need another blood oath? I promise you, LeyLey, no matter what or who, you’re always a priority.” 

 

“Just a priority?!” She gawked, jokingly incredulous as she drew out a leg to kick him.  

 

He laid down, pinching at her cheek while a laugh escaped her. “You know what? Fuck it, there’s just no pleasing you is there?” 

 

That elicited a full laugh from her, the one that he loved to hear, never soft, sweet, and refrained like Julia’s, but instead verging on shrill and near-manic at times, which, Andrew supposed, was fitting for her. 

When she finally regained her cool, those bright pink eyes met his green. 

 

“I’m pretty pleased right now.” 

 

Now it was Andrew’s turn to smile. That was always how Ashley functioned, ever the first to argue, ever the first to forgive. Not that he was complaining, her anger was violent, but quick. Pressing a kiss to her temple, he relaxed. Happy that she was happy. Call it unhealthy, but he’d unpack that a different day. 

 

“Good. Happy Valentine’s day, LeyLey.”