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It started on a spring day. Alicent was outside with her friends, Rhaenyra, Laena, and Laenor to watch the cherry blossom trees bloom.
She thought it was just a mindless idea but as they admired the pink leaves falling from their branches, she turned to look at her friends. At Rhaenyra, who looked like a movie. Rhaenyra, whose cheeks were the same hue of the cherry blossoms.
Alicent felt a twinge in her chest, she scrunched her face up at the unfamiliar pain. Rhaenyra looked at her curiously, perhaps even with worry. Of course, she was her friend after all.
It was that hand. It was that hand on her shoulder placed with comfort that caused it. "Alicent, are you okay?"
She coughed up a single petal. And that much was a peculiar sight for all four of them. Strange as it was, it had never happened to Alicent before.
After that, they rarely brought it up again. But Alicent still felt that pinch in her chest—its wrenching feeling, even when she didn't know what was causing it.
She wouldn't describe herself as a popular girl in school. She never would be. Unlike Rhaenyra, or Laena, or Laenor. The only reason why she became friends with them in the first place was thanks to Rhaenyra taking her under her wing.
It felt like things had fallen into place naturally like that. As though things were always meant to be that way with the four of them—with Laena always bubbling up new trouble, Rhaenyra always being pined after by boys and girls alike in their school, Laenor telling all of them to lighten up, and Alicent keeping them in their places.
On Thursdays, Laena and Laenor would have a different schedule than Alicent and Rhaenyra, which left the two to themselves for lunch.
"Hey, you're not coughing up any more petals are you?" Rhaenyra spoke. Alicent feared to do so, for a reason she didn't know. The smile Rhaenyra gave her after those words felt like a punch straight to her gut. Quite literally, at that.
Her grip felt weak. She dropped her spoon and fork. Oh, here it went again. The pain almost demanded to be let in her chest, she coughed in hopes that would make it go away. But it didn't.
"Alicent, you better not be pulling a joke on me!" The younger girl whined, her lips shaped in a pout. Alicent furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head.
She gathered her hands around her mouth, although it had only happened once before, she almost knew.
Another petal.
This time around, Rhaenyra took a closer look. "It's a rose petal."
"Ali, have you been eating roses lately?" It sounded like a joke to Alicent, so silence filled the air between them.
"Hey, I know I'm weird sometimes but I don't eat roses." She defended herself with an almost offended look, making Rhaenyra burst into laughter.
"It was just a thought!" Alicent smiled absentmindedly as she watched Rhaenyra being unable to control her laughter.
Having a crush on Rhaenyra Targaryen, a sophomore in the Fashion department, wasn't at all new. Even if you didn't have a crush on her, you would still find her pretty. How could you not?
How could you not? That was what was running through her head.
It was Valentine's Day, and even last year Rhaenyra would always give them her spares. A single small girl couldn't possibly be able to eat that much chocolate, could she?
Their usual after school hangout spot was Laena's and Laenor’s house because their parents were rarely at home.
"You look so much like art so I decided to turn you into one. Bleh." Laenor read a letter out loud, tossing it to the side after and stuffing his mouth with chocolate. Rhaenyra cackled at the words, lifting a single leg up in secondhand embarrassment.
"Let me see it though." Generally, Rhaenyra never cared much for her many admirers, saying love is a waste of time these days. She made exceptions when they created art in her name.
Laenor handed her the framed piece of artwork, and Rhaenyra handled it carefully, admiring the drawing. "At least it's drawn well."
With a sigh, she leaned her head on Alicent's shoulder, reaching for another letter addressed to her to read herself, finally.
Oh.
It had been a while since she felt it again. But the feeling was familiar to her now. Alicent gasped, her hand clutching at her chest. This had been the worst one yet. It felt like something was crawling into the very spaces of her lungs.
There were three of them now, scattered on the white carpet of Laena's room.
"Well, that's a nice Valentine's surprise, ." Laena joked, which made Laenor punch her arm and she quickly exaggerated a reaction.
But Alicent paid them no mind. She held her head and she couldn't think straight. The room was spinning.
"Alicent, will you be alright?" Rhaenyra's hands were on her back and shoulder. Then, she knew. It was her all this time. Maybe it had been her since the beginning.
The days following Valentine's, she tried to avoid her. In the hallways, Rhaenyra would always smile and wave at her but she turned the other way. In the cafeteria, the three of them would be waiting for her when she would be eating at the rooftop.
Nothing else had bothered Rhaenyra more. If her friend was sick, then so what? Why wouldn't Alicent let them take care of her?
So she waited for her by the bathroom. She had to come eventually.
And she was right.
"Ey! Alicent!" Her voice was raised and Alicent turned around slowly, her eyes widened. Rhaenyra sported her usual pout, but she knew her friend was actually hurt this time.
"Why have you been ignoring all of us this past week? It's not like any of us did something wrong, right? That's usually your job—to make sure none of us slip up." Her voice screamed sadness. Rhaenyra held her friends so dear to her heart, and Alicent knew that much. But she had to save herself.
"Rhaenyra... I'm sorry." was all she had to say before she turned her back again and went straight to the door. But Rhaenyra grabbed her wrist and forced her to look at her.
"I'm still talking to you! Why won't you look me in the eye? Why do you always turn the other way? Is it me?" Tears were forming in the corner of her eye and Alicent couldn't look away no matter how much she wanted to.
"Rhaenyra..." She could barely speak out of the feeling creeping up her throat. Alicent scrambled to get to the sink, her head buried.
When Rhaenyra peeked at what it looked like, shocked would've been an understatement.
The sink was filled with rose petals. Not just one... or three. There had to at least be fifty.
"What's happening to you?" She sat beside Alicent on the cold bathroom floor. Alicent sighed, her hair sticking to her sticky forehead. She didn't look at Rhaenyra.
"It's you. You're doing it to me."
It hurt her too. Even knowing why Alicent was avoiding them—her, Rhaenyra couldn't bear not knowing how she was doing. Was her condition getting worse? Were classes okay? She was still worried and knew Alicent was too, of them.
Days and months passed until it was another school year. The three of them were starting to get used to Alicent's absence. But the longing grew each day.
It was a spring day. They spent their last spring together. That spring day, the students in the hall were whispering with their eyes glued to Rhaenyra.
At some point, she grew irritated by them.
"What's going on!?"
"Don't you know?" The freshmen felt small under Rhaenyra's furious gaze.
"Know what?" She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.
"Isn't she your friend? Well, she used to be, right? Alicent—the senior. She died last week." Rhaenyra thought it must be a prank. Right, someone was pulling this on her. Lord help Laena if it was her again.
She laughed at their faces. "And that's not all. Her last words were a confession addressed to you."
Rhaenyra took a step back.
It made sense. Why only she was causing those petals.
"No."
She made a run for it. Her classes weren't over yet, but that didn't mean anything. She grabbed her bike and pedaled the quickest she had ever done in her life.
When she reached the door, a barelythere Mrs. Hightower greeted her. They made small talk over tea she was serving the guests.
"I should've called you over the day we knew. She refused until the very end, you know."
"But why?"
"She said, even in death, she couldn't escape you. Those were her last words. Saying she's sorry to you and she should've known from the start it would've been you. Only you."