Work Text:
August, 2017
Hailey stares at Jay across the bar, and her gut starts to twist with nerves. She doesn't quite think he's about to be figured out, but she can also see that the deal's going south and probably not going to happen. The goal was that Jay needed to convince the bartender, who they believed to be a runner for a new, inexperienced circle that was selling bad heroin, give him a job. Jay had been confident, and, honestly, so had she, but as she sat and watched what should have been an easy buy, she could tell the bartender was hesitant about Jay's interest in the seemingly private business.
She lets out a breath before sipping her water and beginning to debate what to do. Through her earpiece, she can hear that the bartender wants to know more about Jay than even necessary. Something from Jay's story had to have seemed off.
"You got a wife and kids?" the older man, Andy, asks, causing Jay to laugh slightly.
"What's it matter if I do?" he counters, "It's moving cars and picking up money. Sounds like an easy way to make some extra cash."
"People are a lot more careful if they've got some skin in the game," Andy says, "Just trying to figure you out."
Jay hums and rubs at his jaw. "Well, you don't have to worry about me."
It was the wrong answer, and Hailey knew it based on one glance at Andy. Pushing away from the table, she runs a hand through her hair before making her way over to the bar and sliding right next to Jay.
"You two figure this out?" she breathes, setting a hand on Jay's back.
Immediately, Andy straightens up and looks between the two of them.
Something flickers in Jay's eyes as he meets her gaze, but he still sighs and shoots a pointed glance at the bartender. "Someone is doubting what I can do. Might be a dead end. We'll just have to find a new way to get our product out there."
"Shame," Hailey sighs. She drags her hand down his arm until it reaches his wrist, then looks over at Andy. "Nice meeting you."
Jay acknowledges him as well with a quiet noise and straightens up to throw his arm around her shoulder. In turn, she reaches up to grab at his fingers dangling over her.
They're colder than she was expecting. In her experience, her hands have always gotten a little sweaty when she gets nervous undercover. It wasn't exactly a tell because it was just something she did even if she was being herself, but it was still something that always bothered her. Jay, on the other hand, feels calm and collected against her. He might have been frustrated that his original plan wasn't going to work, but it didn't show.
"Wait, I didn't know you had product of your own," Andy bursts before they can turn away, "You got clients already?"
"Yeah, man," Jay sighs, turning back to him, "I told you I was good for it, and you didn't believe me."
"That was before you brought a pretty lady into play," Andy says, gesturing toward Hailey with the rag he'd been using to clean the bar top, "Now, I'm a little more interested in listening to your story."
Hailey smirks and nods. "Then we meet tonight to discuss the details."
"I want the details," Andy confirms, "And maybe a piece of the prize."
Hailey's stomach churns, and Jay's arm tightens around her. Andy's gaze went from desperate and intrigued to needy and dirty. He wants her, and, even though, she knows it'll never happen, she hates the idea of what this man could do to her.
Jay clears his throat and leans against the bar to whisper, "You get the details and a cut of the clientele, but you put a hand on her without my permission, and I end you myself. Diner on Canal Street at nine tomorrow morning. You're even more than ten minutes late and I take my product, clients, and girlfriend with me."
He doesn't wait for an answer before squeezing Hailey's hand and leading her out of the bar. Her hand remains in his for the entirety of their walk around the block to the van where Adam and Kevin are waiting for them.
"Sorry for dragging you in that," he murmurs as they approach the car, "I thought I'd get him on my own."
"He just has specific traits he's looking for," she replies, "I didn't mind at all."
"Still," Jay sighs. He drops her hand to pull open the back door of the van and adds, "He's not touching you."
"Disgusting," Adam agrees as they hop inside.
"Nice thinking on your part," Kevin tells Hailey, "Definitely wanted a girl to look at while doing business."
"Good thing you're pretty," Adam chuckles.
She hums her thanks and sits next to Kevin, sticking the hand Jay had just been holding between her thighs. He'd somehow managed to freeze her fingers, and she needs them to warm up if she's going to properly type up the exchange they just had with Andy.
At this point, she's not sure she can see holding hands with Jay again if it's just going to end in her being cold, but he was protecting her in the moment, and she didn't think she could complain about that. She knows she can hold her own and would certainly be able to take on Andy by herself, yet having Jay on her side didn't feel like a bad thing at all.
April, 2018
"I'm fine, really, I'm fine. I'm just tired."
"And I just want to make sure that nothing else is going on."
Jay glances up from leaning against the wall in the small triage room to see Hailey let out a long sigh and place her head in her hands. Frowning, he straightens up and sticks his hands in his pockets.
When Voight forced Hailey to get in an ambulance and get checked out after she attacked Booth in the stairwell, Jay knew he had to go with her. It had nothing to do with thinking she was physically too hurt to communicate her needs to the doctors and everything to do with the fact that he knew she wasn't mentally okay. She had been through hell this last week, and it played a toll on her. He was here to support her as she began working through it all.
"Follow my light, please," the doctor repeats, holding up his flashlight.
"Oh my god," Hailey mumbles, "I am-"
"Hailey," Jay cuts in. She quickly looks over at him, and the way her head jerks tells him she is not as fine as she's pretending to be. "Let him look at you, then I'll take you home. I'm not letting you in my car until I know you're okay."
Her bottom lip trembles, and he feels even worse than he did moments before regarding the entire situation. She's broken right now, and it's heartbreaking.
"Come on," he breathes, walking over to her. He hesitates then grabs her left hand from where it was gripping the edge of the examination table. "If you want me to be honest, I'm also worried about your head. What if you have a concussion? I'll never be able to live with myself if you…I don't know…die or something just because I let you skip out on a concussion test. Follow his light and do whatever he says. Please. You'd do the same for me."
Hailey glances down at their hands loosely connected, and, slowly, her head nods the slightest amount.
Without a doubt, Jay knows that she'd be forcing him to also do whatever a doctor had to say had the roles been reversed. She'd been on his ass over the last year regarding his health – both physically and mentally. The Hailey he's grown to know and care for had stepped up when he needed it most. Now, it was his turn.
"Thank you," he says softly before giving her fingers one last squeeze. He drops her hand and steps back for the doctor to return to whatever he wanted to do, but he can't stop thinking about how small her hand felt in his.
She was rather short, but she was so determined and strong in the field that he didn't think much of it. She didn't act small.
Hailey was loud and a fighter. She had a way of holding herself while looking at you that pierced you right through your soul. Part of him was actually scared of her because he knew she would win any fight they got in. She acted like she could do anything she put her mind to, and he truly believed she actually could.
But her hands were small. They were sort of cold and shook when he first grabbed them before going limp in his hold. They didn't look small when wrapped around her gun or when pinning a suspect down, but they certainly felt small.
That fact made him want to grab her and protect her from all the evil that existed within her world. She didn't deserve to get hurt or tortured or threatened. Their job was hard enough as it was, she didn't need to go through anything worse.
He was determined to continue that for a long time.
Jay doesn't grab her hand again throughout the rest of her quick check-up. He doesn't even touch her as they're leaving the hospital or when he holds the truck door open for her to climb in. He wants to protect her, but he also wants her to be comfortable. It might cross a line if suddenly he's putting a hand on her back or holding her arm to steady her as she walked. She was a grown woman, and he needed to treat her as such.
But he'd be damned if he said he didn't want to support her every step of the way.
October, 2018
Hailey steps out of Adam's car and sighs. It's a beautiful day for the beginning of fall, yet they're all spending it at a church in Canaryville for Jay's dad's funeral.
He hadn't asked them all to come, it was actually Will who invited them, so when he found out they'd be there, he hadn't been thrilled.
"It's a funeral for a guy you've never met. You really don't have to come," he'd said to Kevin in the bullpen. He'd tried being discreet about it, but everyone was able to hear the quiet conversation.
"We don't have to, but we want to," Kevin countered.
Jay sighed and looked around at everyone staring at him, and Hailey could tell he knew this was a losing fight.
"It's you," Kim said softly, causing everyone to look over at her, "You've been there for us, we're going to be there for you."
"Agreed," Hailey added.
Adam waited a beat before reaching over and nudging Jay's arm. "It's one day."
Chuckling at that, Antonio sat on the edge of his desk. "One day where we give you our attention, and then you can go back to being your private self."
"Hilarious," Jay bit back, but there was a small smile on his face as he'd said it.
Hailey had let out a breath and relaxed in her chair now that he'd given in. To say she was worried was an understatement.
And now here she was, straightening out her black dress that she'd had to dig out of the back of her closest.
"Funeral dress?" Kim asks as they make their way inside the church.
Hailey tries to laugh and shrugs. "Not really: just a black dress that I don't wear often. Yours?"
Kim hums and nods. "I first wore it for my grandpa's two years ago and then my aunt's a few months back."
"I'm so sorry," Hailey replies.
"It was their time," Kim says softly. She glances around and lowers her voice to a nearly impossible level. "Jay's dad, on the other hand, this is way too soon. I get that they weren't close, but it's still not fair."
Hailey purses her lips and nods.
She had wanted to get some information out of Jay about what had happened between him and his dad, but she'd gotten nowhere. Even after he'd yelled at her in the parking lot over having "daddy-daughter crap" of her own and projecting it on to him, she'd hoped that he could let her in a little bit. Getting shot should have been a wake-up call for him, but instead it somehow made him more closed off than before.
No matter what he said regarding the matter, she knew Jay was bothered by his father's death. There was no way he couldn't be. She had her own complicated relationship with her father, and she still knew that part of her would get an uncontrollable ache upon hearing about his death.
"Over there," Antonio says, nodding his head toward a group of people.
Hailey pushes up in her heels and sees the side of Jay's face. Something about him looks different than what she was used to, and she realizes that she'd been right all along: he wasn't okay.
"He needs to know we're here," Adam murmurs, "Then we can find some seats."
Kevin nods and leads the way over to Jay. Hailey chews her bottom lip and waits at the back of the group. In truth, she's not sure what she wants to say. Obviously, she wants to offer her condolences, but she doesn't know if she needs to say anything else. As his partner, part of her feels like she needs to step up a bit more, but everyone else has known him for so much longer. For the first time, she almost feels out of place being here.
But then Kim pulls back from hugging Jay, and Hailey can see red rims around his eyes, and she knows that she needs to be here for him. It's been over a year and a half of being his partner, and she's already learned how to read him like a book. There's something special about their partnership that she can't just ignore. It doesn't matter if they've gotten in an argument or disagreed about how to handle a case; the two of them are somehow tied together and better police as a pair.
She might even be a better person because of him.
Jay turns toward her, and she tries to smile before forcing it away and stepping forward. The second she has her arms around him, he leans into her hug and whispers in her ear, "I'm sorry about the other day."
"Don't even," she whispers back, her hands sliding down the back of his suit jacket.
"I was horrible," he breathes, and the words feel hot against her skin.
She shakes her head and murmurs, "Not here. We can talk about it later, but now's not the time. Okay?"
Jay hesitates in her arms, but she knows he's not going to fight her on it. "Okay," he finally says.
She smiles slightly and rubs her hands over his back. This is the closest the two of them have been to each other since she found him shot on the street, and she's grateful that this time is under better circumstances. They're not great circumstances, but Jay's not struggling to breathe beneath her hands and she doesn't think he's dead, so she'll take it as a win.
He tightens his hold on her, and she knows she can't let go just yet. She'll stay here as long as he needs no matter who she knows is watching. Being in his arms reminds her of when he'd first wrapped an arm over her shoulder the year before while they were undercover. Back then, he'd felt strong and capable, and he still feels that way now, but she also knows he's being vulnerable right now, and that difference makes this moment mean so much more.
"Thank you for coming," Jay whispers before straightening up and letting her go.
"Of course," she says softly, "I'm here for whatever you need."
Jay nods and holds her gaze for another moment, but then a low voice from behind her comes and breaks through both of their thoughts.
"So sorry for your loss," Voight says.
Hailey turns to see him leaning around her to shake Jay's hand. Trudy waits for him to finish before pulling Jay into a tight hug of her own. Hailey knows she's not supposed to hear the words and almost feels like she's intruding, but she still smiles to herself as she hears Trudy whisper, "You're coming over for dinner tomorrow. No complaints, no arguing. I'm making shrimp scampi, and I know you're not allergic because I checked your file, so don't lie to me."
Jay lets out a laugh as he pulls away from her and says, "Got it."
Trudy nods and turns to face everyone else. "Should we go find seats?"
Everyone nods and says their goodbyes and final condolences to Jay before beginning to walk into the church. Hailey moves to follow Adam, but Jay's hand reaches out to grab hers, and she's pulled to a stop.
Facing him, she raises an eyebrow and asks, "Yeah?"
Jay's mouth opens slightly, and he squeezes her hand as the words seem to struggle to come to him. Finally, he settles on shaking his head and saying, "It means a lot that you're here for me. Thank you."
She relaxes and smiles. Squeezing his hand back, she says, "I'll always be here. Whenever, wherever."
He smiles back and brushes his thumb over the back of her hand before dropping it. "I've got plans tomorrow, but can we get a beer this weekend?"
"Like I'll turn down a drink," she scoffs.
Jay chuckles and nods. "Sounds good."
She winks at him and reaches over to rub the side of his arm. As she turns to follow her friends into the church, she feels the happiness of the moment quickly fade, and tears sting at her eyes.
She'll get a beer with him, and she'll offer him a shoulder to lean on, but she knows she can't bring back the dead. It might not cure Jay's relationship with his father, but it'd at least make the sadness in his eyes disappear, and that's all she wants in the moment.
February, 2019
About a week before Hailey's birthday, Jay realizes how much he really likes her. The way she laughs and smiles and handles herself draws him to her. He knows he shouldn't: she's dating his friend, and she's his partner.
But he can't stop thinking about her.
After his dad had died, she should not have wanted to be his partner anymore, let alone his friend. He'd treated her terribly. There was no reason for him to take his anger out on her when she was just trying to help him, and he'd really needed that support. Instead of running away, though, she stuck by his side and didn't judge him for that one moment.
They had drinks together and talked through his dad's death, no matter how much he really didn't want to. Hailey pushed him to acknowledge that maybe there had been mistakes at the end, but that those final few moments didn't have to define the entire relationship. After that night, he couldn't help but look at her differently.
She was careful with her words and slow to react.
He couldn't always say the same for himself.
She assumed the best in others until they proved her wrong.
He knew his past prevented him from doing that at times.
She was able to get him to open up about things that were hard for him to swallow and accept.
He was still trying to get to know her, but wanted her to know that he really did care what she had to say.
In his eyes, they seemed like two halves that were drawn together. They somehow fit as a pair that might not have originally picked each other. He knows, for him, the chances that he would ever meet and then fall for a girl from Greektown were rather slim. Because of this job, they were brought together, and he was grateful for that.
She was making him a better cop and person, and he wants to give her a present on her birthday as a thank you for that.
He doesn't feel like it has to be big or extravagant – he hopes that Adam has that covered, and, if he doesn't, he knows he'll be silently judging whatever happens on her actual birthday – but it needs to be something that she can have as a reminder that she is important to him and that he does think of her outside of work.
In an appropriate way.
The issue, though, is that as the days go by faster and faster, Jay has absolutely no idea what that small gift should be. He absolutely does not want to buy her jewelry because he knows she wouldn't wear it and because it seems too much like something a boyfriend would give. A gift card is too impersonal, and clothing would just be a joke. After Christmas, Hailey had made a few comments about wanting to get her car washed more and maybe even paying someone to detail it, but he wasn't a fan of getting her that either. She would appreciate food, but he wasn't sure how exactly he felt about giving her a box of chocolates.
"I think you're thinking too much into it," Will says over breakfast the day before Hailey's birthday, "And I also think you're too late at this point. Isn't it tomorrow?"
Jay sighs and pokes at his eggs. "Yeah, it is. I just thought…she deserves something."
"Of course she does," Will replies, "But you're not her boyfriend. You don't have to step up when that's Adam's job."
"People get gifts for their friends all the time," Jay counters, "It's perfectly normal for me to get her a birthday gift."
Will puts his hands up in surrender and says, "Fair enough. What'd you get her last year?"
Jay glares at him and mumbles, "Gift card to Bartolli's."
"Nothing wrong with that," Will says, "And I bet she used it within a week. She loves pizza."
"I'm not giving her a gift card this year," Jay sighs for what feels like the millionth time.
Will smirks slightly and nods. "Fine. Fine. Well, then, good luck with whatever you decide to find. You have about twenty-four hours until you see her at work, right? Enjoy your shopping adventure."
"I hate you," Jay mumbles much to Will's enjoyment.
The shopping adventure proves to be true, though, with Jay walking in and out of several stores while also looking online for any possible ideas on what to get a woman that's just a friend for her birthday. He's getting more and more frustrated as the day goes on and decides that if he can't find anything in the bookstore for Hailey, then he really was going to have to settle on chocolate and a Bartolli's gift card.
He's walking through an aisle filled with journals he knows he won't buy when a teenage girl bumps into him hard.
"Oh, sorry!" she squeaks, the books she's holding falling to the ground.
Jay waves her off and mumbles that it's okay. Before he can walk away, though, the girl's friend laughs at her and helps pick everything up, saying, "I told you you got too much. No one needs this much information on Greek myths."
"It's just interesting," the first girl sighs, "Plus, my grandma gave me fifty bucks for my birthday. This is better than spending it on drugs or something."
"Like you know where to buy drugs," her friend laughs as she straightens up with a couple books in hand.
Jay holds back a laugh while watching them walk away. For just a second, they distracted him from Hailey, but now he's thinking about her again. He hasn't asked her much information about how being Greek affected her upbringing or if it was even super important to her; all he knows is that her family had a Greek diner. Even if he knows she doesn't have the best memories because of her parents, he figures she might have some sort of pride or identity deep down. He knows he does when it comes to being Irish, so it's worth a shot.
He quickly makes his way through the bookstore in search of the Greek mythology section those girls had been at, and he ends up spending the better part of an hour there picking out something for Hailey.
All night, he debates if what he picked out for her was the right choice, but he keeps telling himself that it's personal and will show her that he cares. Even if she won't actually use what he got, at least he got her something. It's the thought that counts.
The next morning, Jay's closing his locker to hide the gift from view when he hears Hailey enter the room, talking on the phone. He glances up at her voice and smiles when she meets his gaze.
Holding up a finger toward him, she says, "All right, thanks again, Mom. I just got to work." She hums at whatever her mom's response was and sits down on the bench. "Yeah, I'll text you later. Bye." As she hangs up her call, she says, "She means well, but she's also a bit exhausting."
Jay laughs and sits across from her. "Well, happy birthday."
Hailey smiles and nods. "Thank you." She spins to stand in front of her locker and says, "Here's to hoping we get out of here at a decent time."
"Got plans tonight?" Jay asks.
"Uh." Hailey glances at him, and he can see the redness on her cheeks, causing him to blush as well.
Of course she has plans. He knew Adam wasn't an ass of a boyfriend.
Suddenly, his gift for her feels silly, and he's not quite sure he should give it to her. He's just her partner, and this may have crossed a line.
The sound of Hailey's locker closing breaks him out of his thoughts, and he looks up to see her holstering her gun to her jeans. "Any idea what Voight's got on the agenda for us today?"
"No idea," Jay says, standing up himself. He places a hand on his locker and watches her begin to walk away. Just as she's at the door, though, his heart takes over his head, and he yells out, "I got you a gift."
Hailey pauses then turns to face him and raises an eyebrow. "You got me a gift?" she asks.
"It's your birthday," he explains quietly, already opening his locker, "And you're my…you're my friend, Hailey, so I thought I'd get you a gift."
"You really didn't have to," she replies softly as she walks over.
"But I wanted to," Jay says. He pulls out the small blue bag he'd placed her gifts in and takes a deep breath before turning to pass it over. "Happy birthday, Hailey."
She smiles and sits where he was just at. "Thank you," she says. She hesitates for a moment then tugs the tissue paper out of the bag. Slowly, she pulls out a book of Greek myths already with a bookmark in it and a small owl figurine. A smile flits across her face, and she opens the book to scan the page.
"Athena," she says, "How'd you know?"
Jay raises an eyebrow and leans against the lockers. "What do you mean?"
"She's my favorite," Hailey replies, "It was kind of cliché growing up to claim Athena as your favorite, but I didn't care. She's blonde in a lot of drawings, and she's strong. Smart too, and strategic. I wanted to be her – almost thought I was her at some times. How'd you know? I don't think I've ever told you that before."
Jay glances between her and the book before shrugging and saying, "I read about her. I flipped through that book and tried finding one that reminded me of you. Apparently owls are her thing, so-"
Hailey laughs and nods. She pulls her foot up onto the bench between them and tugs her jeans up just to push her sock down. Above her anklebone is a small black outline of an owl tattooed into her skin. "I got it for my eighteenth birthday," she explains, "That's how much she means to me."
"I-I had no idea," Jay replies, at a loss for words.
It really was just a coincidence. He'd had no idea that Hailey even had that tattoo. When looking through that book of myths, he'd looked at the short descriptions of each god or goddess before skimming their story and deciding whether or not it reminded him of Hailey. He was looking for strong, determined people who knew how to handle themselves, who were smart and quick thinking – just like Hailey.
Hailey smiles at him before slipping the small owl statue out of its box. "I don't have this one," she says softly, "I have a small collection at home, I don't know if you've ever noticed before, but I don't have this one. Thank you. It's perfect."
"You're welcome," he breathes.
Her thumb brushes over the owl for a moment, then she slips it back into the box then the bag. Standing up, she quickly wraps her arms around Jay and squeezes him tight. "Thank you," she repeats in his ear, "It's the best birthday gift I've gotten in years."
He smiles and gently tightens his hold on her. He hasn't had her in his arms since his dad's funeral, but he's extremely glad this time is for a much happier occasion. It's only the second time she's ever hugged him, and he already knows that her hugs have a bit of magic in them just like that owl.
"You're a good friend," she says while stepping back, her fingers trailing down his arm until they can brush against his hand.
In turn, his fingers flex into hers, and there's a brief moment where he feels like they've both stopped breathing, but it's over before he can even blink, and Hailey is stepping back quickly while clearing her throat.
"Uh, I should…I should go check in with Voight and see if he needs me to do anything right now," Hailey says, already opening her locker to set his gift inside, "Might need to-to keep going with those files from yesterday."
"Yeah, and, uh, I'm gonna hit up the bathroom. I'll see you up there," Jay replies, running his hand over the back of his head.
Hailey nods and hurries out of the locker room, leaving Jay feeling like he'd just come up from air, his cheeks flushed with nerves.
"Crap," he whispers before going over to the stalls.
He'd just wanted to be nice and show her he cared, and now he feels like he just made everything ten times more complicated. That wasn't at all how today was supposed to go.
And yet, as he's washing his hands, he wonders if what he's learned about Hailey in the last five minutes is actually a good thing – her affinity for Athena and owls aside.
It seemed rather telling, and he wasn't quite sure how he felt about the clarity of the moment.
November, 2019
Hailey's sitting in the hospital waiting room, staring at her blood stained hands, and she doesn't know how much longer she can stand it. It's been over two hours, and she thought that, by now, she'd have heard something.
Jay was shot, and he had lost a lot of blood, and he could barely stay awake in the ambulance on the way to Med. She'd had to fight against tears the entire time they were in the car together. When the ambulance had finally arrived to the back entrance, she was begging him to keep his eyes open as she scrambled to follow him into the hospital.
Just before she was forced away, though, she'd grabbed at his hand and pushed her way to stand by his head. "Jay," she'd said so quietly that she wasn't even sure he'd heard her, "You're going to be okay. It's going to be okay. They're going to take care of you. Just hold on for me, okay? Please hold on for me."
He didn't answer her, and she thought she was going to sob because of his lack of response. She just needed something from him to know he could hear her.
"Hailey, let go," Will said quietly in her ear, "We need to help him."
She sniffled and shook her head. "Jay?"
"Hailey, he needs help," Will said, panic starting to hint at his voice.
Just as he grabbed at her arm to pull her away, Jay gripped onto her hand for a brief moment. She laughed slightly and nodded. "Thank you. Thank you," she whispered, "You're going to be okay."
Will had finally pulled her away then, and she was left standing still, watching him and the others wheel Jay into one of the triage rooms. Even if she had wanted to watch to make sure they took care of him, one of the nurses snapped the curtains closed, and she had to stand there alone until Voight showed up to bring her into the waiting room.
Vanessa had tried getting her to wash her hands of Jay's blood, but she didn't want to leave the room in case Will or another doctor were to come and update them. She couldn't risk missing any information.
When Will does finally show up, he tells them basically nothing. She was well aware that Jay had lost a lot of blood; she didn't need him to come and remind her of that. It felt like a waste of time.
Kevin pulls her into a hug, and Vanessa rubs at her arm to comfort her, but nothing helps. Jay very well could be dying, and it's all her fault.
She should not have let him go down to get Angela on his own. The man he'd attacked was nearly dead; she should not have stayed with him.
There's no saying what would have happened had she followed Jay to get Angela and whether or not he still would have gotten shot. Her presence might not have meant anything to Angela, but maybe then she would have gotten to Jay sooner. She could have put pressure on the wound a whole minute sooner. That would have saved some blood.
Hailey pulls back from Kevin and Vanessa to make her way to a seat in the corner of the room. She doesn't feel like talking to anyone right now. She can't stop replaying all the what ifs in her head between memories of Jay.
She really does like Jay. There's no way that she can deny it now. Work aside, he makes her laugh and makes her feel good about everything she does. He's supportive and knows exactly what to say to her to make her relax or think calmly about a situation.
She can't lose him. She can't.
Sniffling, she pulls her knees up on the chair and turns to face the window.
Jay won't die. He won't.
"Mind if I sit with you?"
Hailey glances over at Will standing next to her and shrugs, so that he lets out a breath while lowering himself into the uncomfortable chair.
Together, they sit in silence. Hailey doesn't know why Will's even here right now. He should be back with Jay. Jay needs someone to stay with him, and if Will's not there, then who is?
But she doesn't say anything. She doesn't know if she has the strength to get into an argument with Will right now. Neither of them needed that.
"I brought you wipes," he murmurs.
Hailey turns to look at him again and breathes, "What?"
Will pulls out a small bundle of wipes from his pocket and says, "I saw you still had…it's still on your hands."
Hailey stares at the wipes for a moment then nods and releases her legs to the ground. As she takes them to wipe the blood from her hands, she blinks back more tears. She hates that it's Jay's blood on her. She hates it.
"I'm sorry for being…I was kind of rough earlier, and I'm sorry," Will continues quietly, "You clearly care about him, and I was…I was panicking. I shouldn't have grabbed you like that."
She shakes her head. "I got it," she sighs, "I was maybe being selfish by holding his hand."
"There's nothing selfish about comforting someone," Will counters.
Hailey tries to smile at him, but her heart feels like it's breaking even more. She knows Jay's probably sleeping and not even aware of what's happening right now, but she really wishes she was there to give that comfort Will was talking about. She'd give anything to hold his hand right now.
As if to prove his point, Will grabs her hand briefly and gives it a quick squeeze. "He'll be okay," he says quietly, "Besides, we both told him he had to hold on for us, and if he breaks both those requests, then he's an ass."
Hailey lets out a laugh that loosens the tears in her eyes. She wipes at her face and nods. "He really would be. I'd like to think we're too important to him for him to just deny us something we want."
"Exactly," Will chuckles, "He'll pull through. He's not someone who gives up."
"No, he is not," Hailey says softly.
She rests her head back against the wall and closes her eyes. Flexing her hand against the armrest, she pretends that she's gripping Jay's fingers right now.
It gives her the comfort she wishes she could give Jay.
April, 2020
Jay grabs Hailey's suitcase from the back of his truck and hesitates before setting it on the ground. There wasn't a question as to whether or not he'd be the one taking her to the airport for her flight to New York, but that doesn't make this morning any easier.
"Thank you," Hailey says quietly as she walks around the truck. She puts her hand out to grab the suitcase, but he shakes his head.
"I've got it," he says while leading the way inside.
He doesn't know if he's mad at her or Voight or himself. He probably should have stepped up more when he saw she was beginning to spiral. If he would have been more persistent, perhaps she wouldn't have been reckless or gone off book.
Perhaps she'd be staying in Chicago.
"Gate's this way," Hailey murmurs once they enter the airport. She adjusts her backpack over her shoulder and begins leading the way to the gate that's about to take her away from him.
Jay doesn't know how long she's going to be gone, and that terrifies him. She had a one-way ticket. There was no plan for her to come home. She might stay in New York for three weeks or it might be three months.
He couldn't bare thinking it would end up being any longer than that.
"You have a book and headphones?" Jay asks quietly.
Hailey smiles up at him and nods. "Of course. There's a couple books in that suitcase, actually."
"Well, don't spend all your time off holed up in your hotel," Jay replies, "Go out and see the city, I've heard it's nice."
Hailey laughs and asks, "Really? New York is nice? Who told you that?"
A handful of websites years ago when Erin up and left him to move there. He did a few nights of research where he briefly debated following her before realizing that would just lead to more drama than he needed in his life. Chicago was his home.
And staying had brought him Hailey. He'd never wish he had anything else ever again.
"Google," he answers. He smirks at her then spots where she has to go to check her suitcase and knows this is where they need to say 'goodbye.' His face quickly falls, and he steadies the suitcase at his side so he can stuff his hands in his pockets.
Hailey glances around and sees what caused him to stop walking. Any sort of happiness she'd briefly had fades from her as well, and she's left staring at their feet between them.
"Text me when you find the gate and when you get on the plane," Jay says quietly, "Obviously when you land too. I want to know you're safe. Actually, that goes throughout this entire trip. Keep me updated, please. New York might be nice, but it's bigger than Chicago."
A smile flickers across Hailey's face, and she looks back up to nod quickly. "Of course," she breathes, "I'll be careful."
"I know," Jay murmurs.
He forgoes caring about who's watching and pulls Hailey against his chest. Hugging her tightly, he decides he doesn't want to let her go. He's scared of what will happen to her while she's gone. He very well knows she can take care of herself, but he likes being by her side to make sure that stays true.
Voight is hoping this "trip" will fix Hailey, but Jay's not quite sure that's what he personally wants. He wants Hailey to remember who she is, of course, but he doesn't want her coming out of this completely different. If something happens to her while she's there that breaks her mentally or emotionally, he knows he will never forgive Voight. Hailey has made mistakes, but so has everyone in the unit. Taking her away and forcing her to learn about rules from the FBI is not fair. Put her in the penalty box or force her to go to therapy or even suspend her without pay, but do not send her to the FBI where she can get hurt in more ways than one just within a day of getting there.
"I'm scared," she mumbles into his shoulder.
Jay nods and squeezes her tight. "Me too."
Lying to her wouldn't do him any good. They've built their partnership on telling the truth, and he wasn't about to throw that away just because they weren't going to be partners for the coming months.
Hailey sniffles and steps back to take a deep breath. She knows that this is something she has to do. It might not be something Hailey wants to do, but she has to look at it from a detective standpoint and think of all she's going to learn while being out there.
It's what they'd talked about the night before. Jay had been pissed, and still is, at what Voight was doing, but they needed to put their anger to the side and think of some small silver linings to focus on no matter how unfair the entire thing was.
Jay nods back at her in understanding and chews his bottom lip.
There's no getting out of this, no matter how scared they are.
"I hope I'm not the only one who does the texting," Hailey says quietly with a small attempt at a smile, "You can text me too. Maybe even call me?"
Jay chuckles and nods slightly. "I can do that for sure."
"And, I swear to you, I'm going to do the best I can so that I can get out of there as soon as possible," Hailey continues, "I'm not leaving you forever."
"I know," Jay replies softly, "But, remember, we don't know how long they need a detective for: it could be a few months."
"Then maybe I be terrible so they get rid of me?" Hailey teasingly asks.
Jay laughs and shakes his head. "You could never."
She smiles and looks down at her feet again. "Maybe."
There's a beat of silence that Jay uses to glance at his watch. Her flight leaves in just under two hours. She needs to get going.
She needs to leave him.
Hailey seems to catch on to the time too because they both reach for the handle of her suitcase at the same time. As their hands touch, Jay remembers the spark that he'd felt the year before on her birthday. It causes his heart to stop for a moment, and it's all that he has in him not to grab her and kiss her right there.
It's not the right decision to make, though, and would probably create a lot of drama and mixed emotions that wouldn't do either of them any good. Hailey was going to have a lot to focus on while in New York, she didn't need to spend any of her time debating what a kiss in the airport was.
However, having those feelings doesn't scare him this time. Now is not the right time to kiss her, but that doesn't mean there won't ever be a right time. Maybe when she comes back and he picks her up from her flight. Or maybe even a month after she comes home and is reacquainted with Chicago. Or maybe it will have to wait a whole year for whatever reason.
He can wait until the time is right, and he hopes that she'll be ready as well when it does.
Hailey's warm fingers brush along the back of his hand before slipping around them and grabbing at the suitcase handle. "Be good?" she softly prompts, "No bullets?"
He chuckles and slowly removes his hand, allowing his thumb to curve around her wrist as it moves. "I will try my hardest," he replies.
Hailey smiles and finally steps away from him. "I'll talk to you soon," she says.
"Holding you to it," Jay says. He smiles and sticks his hands back in his pockets. "Have a safe flight."
Hailey waves before turning to walk toward New York.
Jay stays staring after her long after her mess of blonde hair disappears in the small crowd. Leaving feels like acceptance that she's gone, and he's not quite ready to say goodbye just yet.
November, 2020
"Do you want to get out of here?" Jay whispers against Hailey's lips.
Hailey laughs softly and steps back to slide her hands down the front of his coat. Gripping on to it, she breathes, "I would love to."
Jay winks and slips his hand up to her arm. He'd just kissed her. Her intent for the night was not to get him to do that at all. She had certainly been hoping they could eventually move past being friends, but she didn't really think tonight would be that night.
She had turned down what is a dream job for most within the FBI and chose to stay in Chicago. Jay and Intelligence made her a better cop, but also a better person. She made mistakes and maybe took some things too far, but that's what made her human.
Jay made her human.
And now Jay had kissed her and she couldn't believe all of this was really happening. For years, she wondered what it'd be like to have Jay as just hers. She'd felt supported and grounded by him being in her life, but she could never say what it felt like to have him in her heart in the way she felt right now.
It wasn't just because he'd taken the step forward and kissed her after she confessed to him that he meant so much more to her than work, but that he'd confirmed to her what she'd hoped for all along: they meant something real to each other, and neither of them could ignore those feelings any longer. Her heart could beat for a future they could finally have together.
They were no longer just partners or even just friends, and neither of them was dating anyone else. They weren't struggling with their own personal lives, and they weren't trying to hide from the other anymore.
They were being honest with each other, and they were ready for whatever was to come.
Together.
Hailey looks down at Jay's fingers wrapped around her wrist and smiles. As she slips his hand from his coat and into his grip, she moves with intention and focuses on the feelings she'd fought against for so long.
His palm is warm against her own, but not in a sweaty way that makes her want to pull away. It's comforting and reminds her of all the ways that Jay is a good detective, a good man. He's continuously strong and making decisions that are best for everyone. He doesn't just rush through anything, and he wants others to know that he really does care, even if he's not the kind of person who wears their heart on their sleeve.
She intertwines their fingers together and laughs in disbelief as his nearly engulf her hand. She'd never thought of him as some giant guy who pushed people around to get what he wanted. The fact that he was bigger than her meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. He was one of the few men in her life that she knew would never, ever lay a hand on her despite having every opportunity to do so. She was safe with him and because of him, and she never wanted to take him for granted.
"Your hand's kinda small," Jay says softly.
She laughs again and shoots back, "Maybe yours is kinda big."
He chuckles and shrugs. "Maybe." His thumb rubs against the back of her hand, and she smiles at the gentle movement.
"They fit, though," she breathes.
Jay's eyes flicker to her, and the smile on his face makes him look about ten years younger.
"What?" she asks with a smile of her own.
"Nothing," he chuckles, "I just always knew they would."
Hailey smiles wide and pushes up on her tiptoes to kiss him again. With her arms wrapped around Jay, she knows this is where she belongs. Maybe not in this exact bar or even in Chicago, but in Jay's arms.
It's where she's always belonged.