Archive of Our Own

Kate frowns as she walks into her condo. Lucy’s shoes and backpack in the middle of her hallway. She did not expect Lucy to be there. In fact the only reason that Lucy even has her keys is because Lucy had spent the night and got called at four am to go to work. Not wanting to get up to lock the door behind her, Kate had told her to grab her spare key from her beach bag that was in her front closet. They’ve only been together for about three months and things between them are good but Kate still struggles to let her in. That’s why they aren’t further in their relationship and why nobody from Lucy’s team knows about them. Lucy has been really understanding by agreeing to keep them a secret.
“Lucy?”
No answer.
Kate takes off her shoes and places her purse in her closet. She walks further into her condo, kitchen and living room are empty. She notices that her bedroom door is closed, she discreetly opens it. It’s pitch black. She opens the door further and finds Lucy in bed, under the covers. She’s wearing one of Kate’s hoodies with the hood over her head. She tiptoes into the room and realizes that Lucy is fast asleep.
She quietly grabs a change of clothes and leaves her bedroom, closing the door behind her. She opt to go change in her other bathroom instead of her ensuite so as to not disturb Lucy. She wonders what could have happened to Lucy for her to be sleeping in the middle of the day. It’s not like her to do that. The only time that she takes a nap is after they’ve had multiple rounds of mind blowing sex. She can’t help but worry. She has to force herself to remember that she didn’t look injured but she couldn’t see much due to Lucy being mostly covered. She also has to resist the urge to wake her up to know what’s going on.
She goes back to her living room and tries to distract herself by reading but she can’t seem to focus for more than a paragraph.

It’s well past her usual dinner time and Lucy is still asleep. She’s getting more and more worried. She wonders if she should wake her up. If there’s one thing that she knows about Lucy, it’s that she never, ever skip a meal. There’s no way that she’ll be able to last until the morning. She will undoubtedly wake up in the middle of the night because she’s hungry.

She waits another half hour and then prepares a meal that she’s sure Lucy will like. When it’s ready she enters her bedroom and sits next to Lucy. She pushes the hood to the side so that she can run her fingers in Lucy’s hair. She leans down and places soft kisses to the corner of her mouth. Lucy starts to stir.
“Wake up sleepy head.” Kate whispers.
Lucy mumbles something incoherent. Kate kisses her again. It brings a smile to Lucy’s face.
“That’s a nice way to wake up.”
“What’s wrong? Are you ok? Did you get hurt?” Kate says while keeping her voice low.
“I feel like crap. I think I have a migraine, my head has never hurt so much, I can’t function.”
“How long have you been here?”
“I don’t know, Tennant sent me home at two I think. What time is it?”
“Seven forty. I hope it’s ok that I woke you up. I just thought that you should eat something before settling for the night. And if your head hurts you really need to drink water. You’ve been asleep for like five hours. You’re for sure dehydrated by now.”
“You did the right thing.”
Lucy shifts onto her back and Kate takes the opportunity to give her a proper kiss. Lucy melts into it, wraps her arms around Kate and pulls her in. Kate holds her for a few moments then says “Dinner is getting cold.”
“What did you make?”
“Homemade mac and cheese.”
“My favorite comfort food!”
“I know.”
Kate steals one more kiss and moves to get up but then Lucy says “Take me with you.”

Kate’s eyebrows shoot up. Lucy hates getting picked up. In fact, Lucy told her that when they met for the first time in a bar before Kate moved to Hawaii. The only time that Lucy allows it is when they're about to have sex and the only reason is because due to their significant height difference, it makes it easier to kiss each other.
“A-are you sure?”
“I’m so weak, I barely made it up here earlier.”
“Why didn’t you call me? I would have come to take care of you.”
“Oh… I didn’t know I could. I didn’t even know if it was ok for me to come here but it was the only place that I wanted to be.”
“Of course you can come here, and of course you can call me. In fact, you’ll be in trouble if you ever not call me if something like that ever happens again. Okay? I’m sorry I made you feel like you couldn’t.”
“I think that if my head would have been all there I would have been more inclined to at least send you a text but I really wanted to come here. Your hoodie is so comfy and it smells like you.”
Kate completely melts. She leans down and kisses her.
“I'm glad you did. Come here.”
Kate picks her up into her arms and Lucy attaches herself around her like a koala. Kate carries her to the living room and sets her down on the couch.
“I’ll be right back.”
Kate gives her a kiss and goes to the kitchen.
She comes back not long after with a tray. On it there’s two bowls of mac and cheese, forks and a tall glass of water for Lucy. She sits next to her and they dig in. They eat mostly in silence. Lucy because her head hurts and Kate because she’s giving herself a mental punch in the face. She hates that Lucy didn’t think that she couldn’t call her. Lucy was in pain and she wasn’t there to take care of her.

When their meal is finished, Kate says “What did you take for your headache?”
“Acetaminophen.”
“It clearly didn’t work, if you want you can try ibuprofen, that’s what always works for me.”
“Do you have migraines regularly?”
“I wouldn’t say regularly but it’s usually once or twice a month. It used to be more than that so I’m used to them. I don’t even take the day off when it happens.”
“Have you ever had one when I was with you?”
“Probably, it often happens when I’m really tired.”
“So when we worked on the Jonhson case you had one?”
“Oh yeah, big time, I almost called in sick on the last day.”
“Why didn’t you say anything? I could’ve helped.”
“You were as exhausted as I was. I didn’t want to burden you.”
“Kate, telling me you’re not feeling well is in no way a burden, you hear me?”

Kate nods. Lucy taps her own lips with a finger, asking for a kiss. Kate is more than willing to give it to her. Then she takes their empty dishes and brings them to the kitchen. She brings Lucy another glass of water and a bottle of ibuprofen. After that she cleans up the kitchen as quietly as possible. She’s still lost in thought. She wants to tell Lucy how important she is to her but doesn’t know how. She’s scared that Lucy doesn’t feel the same, she’s scared that she won’t find the right words, she’s scared to open up her heart. She’s even scared to admit to herself just how much Lucy means to her so how can she possibly convey to her how she feels.

Her face must be doing something because Lucy says “Are you okay?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I know you enough to know when you’re lost in thought.”
“It’s nothing.”
“Come here.”
“I’m almost done.”
“It can wait… don’t make me get up.”
Kate chuckles and walks to her.
“Sit behind me?”
“Sure.”

Kate carefully manœuvres herself behind Lucy and wraps her arms around her. Lucy lets out a satisfied sigh.
“Much better, now tell me what’s on your mind.”
Kate takes a deep breath, “I don’t even know how to begin to explain.”
“That sounds serious.”
“No it’s not, it’s just me.”
“I’m not following.”
“I’m the problem.”
“In what way? What are you talking about?”
Lucy turns in her arms so that she can look at her. She cups the side of her face with a hand.
“Talk to me.”
“I know I suck at relationships.”
“What?”
Kate looks down, “You didn’t think you were allowed to call me to tell me that you were sick. We’ve been together for three months, not three days. I-I failed you.”
“Don’t say that.”
“But it’s the truth. You should be able to count on me.”
“I can. You’ve been taking care of me since I woke up.”
“But I should have been here earlier.”
“I was sleeping, there was nothing that you could have done… hey… look at me… it’s just a migraine.”
“But what if it was something worse? Would you have called me? No, because I made you feel like you couldn’t.”
“I’m as much to blame, we never really talked about us. That’s on me too.”
“If I was better at communicating you would have been able to bring up a conversation about us.”
“The important thing is that we are talking now. I mean it, it’s on me too. We should have talked about us a long time ago. And we will, tomorrow maybe? I’m too exhausted to talk about everything tonight. I just wanted to make sure that you would stop being so hard on yourself.”

Kate leans down and kisses her, a long lingering kiss. Then Lucy rests her head on Kate’s chest and Kate holds her tighter.
“Let me know when you’re ready for me to get you to bed.”
“In a little bit, I’m too comfortable right now.”
“Ok.” Kate whispers. She leans down and places a soft kiss on Lucy’s forehead.
“Are the meds working?”
“A bit. But not that much.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to go to bed?”
“Yeah, I just want to cuddle with you, we could watch an episode of your show. Just keep the volume down.”
“I don’t mind spending a quiet evening but if you think that you will be ok watching tv then that’s fine by me.”
“Let’s try it.”

Lucy returns to her original position with her back leaning against Kate’s front.
Kate grabs the remote that is fortunately within reach, switches the Tv on, goes in the setting and lowers the intensity of the light.
“Oh, I didn’t even know you could do that.” Lucy says, “it’s much better like that.”
“Yeah, sometimes my migraines last for two or three days straight so I had to find a way to be able to watch Tv otherwise I would have gone crazy, reading is not much better when your brain feels like it’s about to explode out of your skull.”
“You’ll have to show me again how to do it when I’m able to assimilate information.”
“Of course.”

They watch an episode of Kate’s favorite Tv shows that Lucy had recently got into. And then Lucy says “Can we go take a shower together?”
“Of course.”

Kate carefully gets off the couch, picks up Lucy into her arms and carries her to the bathroom. She starts the shower without letting go of Lucy and waits until the water starts to warm before setting her back down. She makes a bun on top of Lucy’s head, then she proceeds to undress her while stealing a kiss every chance she gets, bringing a smile to Lucy’s face. She undresses herself quickly and they enter the shower. She takes her time to wash Lucy’s body, massaging her shoulders, her neck, her arms and her legs.
Lucy can’t help but let out multiple satisfied sighs.
“Remind me to ask you to massage me on a regular basis from now on, it feels amazing.”
Kate smiles, leans down and brings their lips together in a soft lingering kiss.
“I enjoyed doing it so you might not even have to ask.”
Lucy smiles at her and Kate kisses her.
Kate washes herself and they get out of the shower. They quickly go through their nighttime routine and once again Kate picks Lucy up and carries her to bed. They snuggle under the covers, naked at Lucy’s request. Lucy is asleep in minutes. But for Kate, sleep doesn’t come easy. She’s still overthinking her feelings for Lucy. Eventually sleep does claim her.

When Lucy’s alarm rings the next morning, Kate wakes up but Lucy just stirs for a second and then goes still again. Kate lets the alarm ring for a few more seconds but Lucy doesn’t wake up. She silences the alarm, gets up, circles by the bathroom and is about to get dressed for work but she stops in her tracks. She looks back at Lucy sleeping peacefully. Maybe Lucy still hasn't recovered from her migraine. It’s very unlike her to not wake up with her alarm. Lucy is one of those people that is full of energy the second it’s time to get up. But not only that, she often wakes up before her alarm as if she’s eager to start her day. Kate finds all of this very endearing.

Kate walks to her night stand, takes her phone from its charging station. She sends a message to her superior saying that she won’t be coming into work today. If there’s any chance that Lucy will also call in sick when she wakes up, there’s no way that she won’t stay with her. She’s not about to fail her twice in two days.
She quietly gets dressed in a pair of blue shorts and white tank top. She exits her bedroom and closes the door behind her. She goes to the kitchen, makes herself a cup of coffee, grabs a snack and walks outside onto her balcony. It’s a beautiful day, the sun is shining over the ocean, there’s a little breeze and the air is warm. Hopefully Lucy will feel good enough to take a walk later today.

It’s been an hour since Lucy is supposed to be up. Normally at this time, she would be kissing Kate goodbye. She hesitates for a long moment but there’s only one thing that she can do. With shaky hands and sweaty palms, Kate takes her phone and places a call. Her heart is pounding in her ears.

“Whistler, what can I do for you?” Tennant says on the other side of the line.
“Hi uh… is it ok if Lucy takes the morning off, she was still feeling like crap when we went to bed last night and didn’t even wake up when her alarm rang an hour ago. I think that she needs the extra sleep.”
Kate is met with silence and it makes her feel increasingly uncomfortable by the second so she bites the bullet.
“I uh… I’m uh, her uh, her girlfriend.”
“Oh... I didn’t know.”
“Uh, nobody knows… Please don’t be mad at her, it’s me who asked to keep us a secret because I’m the liaison to your team.”
“I understand and of course Lucy can take the morning off. The entire day if she needs it, just let me know.”
“Of course, thanks Tennant.”
They say goodbye and Kate takes some deep breaths to calm herself.

Two hours later, Kate sends a text to Jane saying that Lucy is still asleep so it’s unlikely that she’ll come in at all today. Jane answers that she’s coming back from the field and would like to stop by. Kate is not very keen on the idea because she really doesn’t get along with Jane so having to interact with her in her home is very stressful. The fact that they will be alone just makes things worse. Not wanting to risk making things worse between them, Kate agrees and sends Jane her address.

Fifteen minutes later, there’s a light knock on Kate’s front door. She gets up, walks to the door. She takes a deep breath and opens it. She greets Jane and lets her in.

“So uh… what can I do for you?” Kate says while fidgeting with the helm of her tank top.
“I’m just worried about Lucy.”
Kate crosses her arms over her chest, “I assure you that I can take care of her.”
“I didn’t mean to imply that you couldn’t, I’m sure you can. It’s just that I’ve known her for over a year and she has never been sick. I’m very protective of her, she’s the first agent that I’ve had under my command that came straight from the NCIS training program. I was hoping that by the time I arrived she would be awake and I could lay eyes on her.”
“Oh… I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright. I understand your reaction. We haven’t had the easiest relationship.”
“That’s an understatement… Can I get you anything, coffee, water, a snack?”
“I could use a coffee, thank you.”

Kate walks to her kitchen to make the coffee and Jane follows her, stopping at the island.
“You have a beautiful place.”
“Thanks, when I decided to move here I thought, might as well make the most of it and splurge on the place. I have no regrets.”
Kate gives the coffee mug to Jane and they move to the couch.

“I didn’t tell anyone that you and Lucy are together.”
“Tennant, it’s bad enough that I asked Lucy to keep us a secret, I can’t ask you to lie for me too.”
“You’re not asking and it’s not my secret to tell. I won’t say a word unless you tell me that’s ok. I can understand why it’s important to keep your relationship a secret considering how bad things have been going between you and my team… I’m not going to lie, I’m very curious how you two happened.”
Kate smiles, “We met in a bar six months before I moved to Hawaii, I was in town for a meeting and we really hit it off. We ended up spending an entire weekend together. We didn’t talk about work at all. So when I walked into the bullpen on my first day I was shocked, and so was she. We met up that night and agreed that it would be too complicated to start a relationship. It was literally my first day and she was still so new at her job. If it looked like we hated each other it’s because we were both miserable and took it out on each other.”
“That must have been really hard.”
“You have no idea… and then three months ago we were working late in my office when I made a joke that made her laugh so hard that she was crying. And suddenly we weren’t Whistler and agent Tara anymore, we were the Kate and Lucy from that weekend. We kept working but we were laughing, sharing snacks… well, when I say sharing snacks I mean she stole two thirds of my snacks.”
Jane laughs, “Yeah, that sounds like her.”
“When we finished work we spent a good hour talking about things not work related, something that we hadn’t done since we agreed to not get together. It was like we didn’t spend almost four months being awful to each other. She walked me to my car and without thinking I hugged her. To my surprise she immediately wrapped her arms around me and we stayed like that for a long time. And then she said ‘can I take you home?’ Of course my dumb ass said ‘it’s a bad idea’.”
Jane laughs, “Did she convince you?”
“We’re together aren’t we. She said that she didn’t care and that’s all it took. I just wanted to be with her again, no matter if it made things between us even more complicated. We’ve been together ever since, neither one of us had the will or the strength to stay away from each other. It’s been three months, one week and five days.”
“I’m surprised you don’t know how many hours and minutes it’s been.”
“Oh I do, I just didn’t want to show off.”

The pair share a laugh just as a very sleepy Lucy, wearing one of Kate’s shirts, appears in front of them.
“What the hell is happening? Did I wake up in an alternate universe?”
Kate and Jane share a laugh again, which just confuses Lucy more.
“Come here sleepyhead.” Kate says as she extends her hand to her.
The second she’s within range, Kate takes her hand and pulls her into her lap. She places a soft kiss on her lips while wrapping both her arms around her.
“How’s your head?”
“Confused.”
Kate laughs, “You didn’t wake up when your alarm rang so I eventually called Tennant to ask if it was ok for you to take the morning off. Then two hours later you were still sleeping so I texted her to let her know not to expect you to come in today and she texted back asking if it was ok to stop by and I said yes, now that she knows about us there was no point in saying no.”
“So I did wake up in another universe.”
Kate chuckles, “Okay, except for that, how’s your head?”
“Still not back to normal but a whole lot better than yesterday.”
“That’s good, what do you want for breakfast, I could make you those French crepes that you love so much.”
“Yes please.”
Kate brings their lips together again.
“I’ll go get dressed for work.” Lucy says
Kate says “What? No!” Just as Jane starts to say “You’re not coming in today. Rest and let your girlfriend take care of you. I’ll let myself out.”

They say goodbye and Jane leaves them.
Lucy runs the back of her fingers on the side of Kate’s face.
“Girlfriend huh? Her word or yours?”
“Mine… i-is that ok?”
“It’s more than ok.”
Kate smiles at her and pulls her into a slow but passionate kiss, pouring everything that she has into it. They’re both in a daze when they pull back.

“Wow!… Now feed me.”
Kate laughs, kisses her and taps her ass, “You’re gonna have to get up if you want me to feed you.”
Lucy pouts. It makes Kate laugh. Lucy reluctantly gets up. The second Kate is standing, she picks Lucy up into her arms, making Lucy laugh.
Lucy wraps herself around her like a koala. Kate walks to the kitchen and sets Lucy on the counter just a few inches from the oven. She kisses her and starts making the crepes. Everytime she walks past Lucy, she gives her a kiss, making Lucy smile.
When the food is ready, they sit at the table and eat. After that they cuddle on the couch with Lucy sitting between Kate’s legs.

“I uh… I want to make sure that you know that you’re really important to me.” Kate says
Lucy turns in her arms, “I know that now. I mean, you took the day off to take care of me and you called Tennant, tus revealing our relationship to her. I’m sure it must have been hard for you. I feel really taken care of.”
“Good. It’s always been hard for me to express my feelings. Especially after…”
“After what?”
Kate takes a deep breath, “After my… brother died.”
“Oh Kate, I’m so sorry, what happened to him?”
“He was killed in combat twelve years ago. After that I struggled to let people in. Friends or otherwise. I haven’t been in a serious relationship since. So this is…”
“Scary?”
“More like… terrifying.”
“It breaks my heart that you’ve been alone for so long but I’m here now. We can work on expressing your feelings better together. But I meant what I said last night. Not defining our relationship is on me too. I was scared that if I asked what we were, you would remember that you said that it was a bad idea to be together in the first place. I was scared of losing you.”
“I’m not going anywhere, I promise. You mean so much to me. You make me happy.”
Lucy’s eyes fill with tears, “I love you Kate.”
“I-I love you too.”
Kate’s eyes also fill with tears and she pulls Lucy into a searing kiss, holding her as tight as possible.
“I want you to bring more of your clothes here.”
“Really?”
“Yes, I want to spend more time with you. Since you always insist that my place is better than yours, it makes sense that you bring more of your stuff here.”
Lucy smiles and kisses her.
“I would love to spend more time with you.”

Later on that day, Lucy says “Talk to me about your brother, what was his name?”
“Noah… he was everything to me. He was only two years older than me but he was more of a parent to me than my own parents were. Except for providing financially for us they weren’t really interested in being parents.”
“I know the feeling.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes but I’ll tell you later, tell me more about you.”
“We always had food on the table and a roof over our heads but me and Noah had to rely on each other for emotional support and love. I honestly believe that they either had us because it was expected of them or by accident. Noah was always making me look up from my books for something other than physical activity. Even when he was deployed he would call me or send me letters and he would tell me to go out with friends.”
“So when you lost him you stopped spending time with your friends.”
“I was so stricken by grief that I was barely functioning. I locked myself away for so long. All I did was study and study and exercise. When I finally looked up, there was no one left. Including my parents.”
“Oh Kate. It’s not right what your parents and your friends did to you.”
“No it was my fault, except for my parents.”
“No it wasn’t, you were grieving the most important person in your life. Your friends were assholes.”
“They weren’t assholes, some of them tried to get through me for over a year but I repeatedly pushed them away. I was in so much pain that I didn’t even want to talk to them.”
“They should have fought harder for you.”
“Perhaps but when you’re twenty two and you never lost anyone of importance you can’t understand grief. And when someone repeatedly tells you to leave them alone you eventually listen. But my parents were assholes, they didn’t even show up for Noah’s funeral.”
“What?” Lucy exclaims
“Yep. That day it was Noah’s best friend who took care of me. He uh…” tears fill her eyes, she tries to fight them with rapid blinking.

Lucy cups the sides of her face and brings their lips together in a soft kiss.
“It’s ok, take your time, it will take me a lot more than a few tears to scare me away. I’m not going anywhere.”

Kate rests her forehead on Lucy’s and closes her eyes. She stops fighting her tears and they roll down on her face.
“You can let go, I’ve got you.”
Kate is quiet for a long moment. She takes a deep breath and pulls back just enough to be able to look at Lucy properly.
“He insisted on picking me up, he drove me to the cemetery and held me through the ceremony. Then he drove me back to my dorm and he spent the rest of the day and entire weekend taking care of me.”
“I’m so glad you had him.”
“Me too but he was getting deployed the following week and I never saw him again. He was deployed for a year. When he came back he called me but I made it seem like I was fine, even though I wasn’t.”
“Why?”
“He had moved on. He was talking about his plan for the future, how he wanted to have a family with his girlfriend, buy a house, those kinds of things. He never even mentioned Noah… it was like I wanted to erase my entire life and made a clean cup from before I lost Noah and after. The only thing that stayed unchanged was school but two years after graduating I even put that behind me even though I had spent seven years working on my degree.”
“What did you study?”
“Law.”
Lucy eyebrows shoot up, “You have a J.D.?”
“I do.”
“That explains a few things…” Lucy says with a spark in her eyes.
Kate says through laughter, “Asshole!”
Lucy gives her a shit eating grin. Kate shakes her head and kisses her.
“No but seriously, I just wanted to lighten the mood. I think that you’re amazing and of course you have a J.D., you’re probably the smartest person that I have ever met.”

A shy smile appears on Kate’s face.
Lucy runs the back of her index finger on Kate’s cheek and says “You’re so beautiful.”
Kate completely melts and kisses her. Then she tucks her under her chin and they hold on to each other in comfortable silence. Lucy is the first one to break it.

“Thank you for sharing so much with me. It must have been really hard.”
“It was so much easier than I thought it would be.”
“Really?”
“Yeah but I shouldn’t be surprised.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s easier to answer a question that you asked than it is to volunteer information. And because when I met you, you showed me a part of myself that I thought was lost forever but since we got together I’ve been rediscovering many more parts of me that I thought had died with him. When I met you, I found myself again.”

Lucy looks up at her, her eyes are full of tears, “For someone who struggles to express her feelings, you for sure know how to put your point across once you start to express yourself.”
“I do?”
“Absolutely, in a single conversation you manage to erase any doubt that I had about us not being on the same page about our relationship, you told me you love me and you share with me your most painful time in your life. You’re so much better at this than you think.”
Kate leans down and kisses her, a long, soft lingering kiss.

They spend the rest of the morning and the afternoon snuggling on the couch. They talk a bit more but they mostly just watch Tv.
By dinner time, Lucy’s headache is finally completely gone. So Kate says “Wanna have dessert first?”

Lucy is still sitting between Kate’s legs so she turns her head and looks up at Kate. “Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?”
Kate laughs, “I’m blaming you for this, you’ve officially corrupted me.”
Lucy joins in the laughter, “I’ll take the blame if it means that I can get dessert first, did you have something specific in mind?”
“There’s an ice-cream shop down the street where you can make your own cup.”
“Y-… you want us to go out… in public… with people around… where more people could see us?”
Kate laughs, “Yes, I want to go out, in public, with people around where more people could see us.”
Lucy playfully slaps her shoulder, “Can you really blame me for being surprised?”
“No but I couldn’t pass on such a perfect moment to tease you.”
“Well played!.”
Kate gives her a shit eating grin and a kiss.

Lucy gets up from the couch and Kate follows suit.
“Should I change?” Lucy says
“No, you look cute.”
“Then I’m definitely changing.” Lucy says as she starts to walk to Kate’s bedroom but Kate grabs her by the waist and pulls her back into her arms.
“Don’t you dare, I love seeing you in my clothes.”
“But I don’t want to look cute!” Lucy says with a pout.
“And you’re even cuter when you pout.”
“It’s not fair!”
“What? Why?”
“Because…”
“Because what?”
“People always say that I’m cute because of my size so I don’t want to be cute because I wear your clothes too.”
“I think you’re cute because you’re in my shirt but not because of your size. I think you’re beautiful, sexy and strong. You just happen to be pocket sized. I would think you’re cute even if you were as tall as me because you’re in my shirt.”

Lucy gets on her tippy toes and kisses her.
“Although you can tuck the front of my shirt in your shorts, that would create a different look.”
“Good idea.” She tucks the shirt in, “how do I look?”
Kate takes a step back and visibly swallows.
“That good huh?” Lucy says with a smirk on her face.
Kate reaches for her but Lucy takes a step back.
“Be patient and I can be your second dessert…”
Kate gulps. Lucy turns on her heels, walks to the front door, jumps into her flip flops and gets out of Kate’s apartment, leaving a turned on Kate standing in her living room unable to make her legs move.

Lucy pops her head back in, “Are you coming?”
“Not the way that I want to…”
Lucy laughs, “The sooner you come to me, the sooner I can make you come.”
Kate almost runs to her, she’s about to close the door behind her but Lucy says “Aren’t you forgetting somethings?”
Kate frowns.
“Footwear, keys, and one of us should bring money in some form.”
Kate laughs, walks back inside, gets what she needs and rejoins Lucy. They head down.

When they walk into the warm and salty Hawaiian air, Kate takes Lucy's hand and intertwines their fingers together.
Lucy looks down at their now linked hands and then up at Kate, who smiles at her, brings their linked hand up and places a kiss on the back of Lucy’s hand. Lucy flashes her a blinding smile.
They walk hand in hand to the ice-cream shop and when they enter, Lucy gasps. Two of the walls are covered with containers filled with all sorts of candies and chocolate bars. There’s also a self-serve soft ice-cream machine with vanilla, chocolate and a twist of the two available.
Lucy is vibrating as she lets her eyes roam the options presented to her. Kate looks at her with heart eyes. She walks behind her, wraps both arms around her waist, leans down and places a kiss on her cheek. Lucy melts into the embrace.
“We pay by weight so… go nuts.” Kate whispers in her ear.
Kate releases her and walks to the ice-cream machine, she takes a medium cup and makes a perfect twist with the chocolate and vanilla mix.

“Oh my gosh, please do mine.” Lucy says when she sees it.
Without asking what size she wants, Kate grabs the big cup.
Lucy gives her an upside down smile, “You know me so well.”
Kate smiles, makes a perfect twist in Lucy’s cup and gives it to her.
Then they both start filling their cup. Kate is not surprised at all that Lucy’s cup is so full that if she moves too fast, candies fall from it.
Lucy is shocked when she sees how much it cost but Kate laughs it off.
“I told you to go nuts. I’m not surprised by the cost.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Okay but dinner is on me.”
“Deal.”
Kate leans down and places a soft kiss on her lips. She pays and they walk outside. They find a bench close by and sit closely.
Lucy takes the first bite and moans at the taste. Kate chuckles.

Kate finished eating first. She dumps her cup in the trash and wraps one arm around Lucy who leans against her.
“I still haven’t figured out how you can eat so much.”
“You know I’m from Texas.”
Kate says through laughter, “No that can’t be your answer to everything.”
Lucy laughs, takes a big scoop of ice-cream and shoves it into her mouth. Kate shakes her head, leans down and kisses Lucy’s forehead.
When she’s done eating, Lucy gets rid of her trash before snuggling back with Kate.

After a long moment, Lucy says “This feels nice?”
“What?”
“Being like this in public.”
“I agree.”
Lucy looks up and Kate claims her lips in a lingering kiss.
They stay on the bench for another hour.

When they get up, Lucy says, “Remind me to give you back your house keys”
“No.”
Lucy laughs, “Then expect me to forget to give them back to you.”
“I don’t want them back.”
“Really?”
“Yes, keep them, you’re always welcome.”
“Aren’t you scared that I’m gonna move in with you while you’re at work?” Lucy says in a teasing tone.
Kate wraps both arms around her, “No, I’m not scared anymore…” she snorts, “okay that’s a lie, I’m scared of a few things but I won’t let fear come between us ever again.”
“What are you scared about?”
“That I won’t be able to open up to you and that you’ll get sick of it.”
“Hey,” Lucy says in a soft voice, “I won’t let that happen, you already shared things that were very painful to you. The rest will be a piece of cake. I promise that I will help you. What else are you scared about?”
“That I will open up to you only to lose you.”
“I’m not going anywhere, we w-.”
Kate looks down, “I’m not talking about you breaking up with me…”
“Oh… baby look at me… I understand but I want you to know that I will always, always fight like hell to come back to you. I know my job is dangerous but I’m not in a combat zone like Noah was. And I don’t know if you noticed but I’m kind of a badass.”
Kate laughs, “I notice, you’re like Mighty Mouse.”
Lucy blinks. Then cracks up. “Mighty Mouse, I love it.”
“Ready to go back to my place?”
“Let’s go.”

Kate keeps one arm around Lucy’s waist and Lucy does the same. They start to walk back toward Kate’s condo.
About halfway there, they come across a golden retriever puppy. The puppy is a bit dirty and seems thinner than it’s supposed to be. The puppy is just roaming around. Kate and Lucy set a trap for the puppy and Kate manages to scoop it from the ground. Immediately the puppy starts attacking Kate’s face… with kisses. She starts giggling like a teenager.
“She’s so cute.” Lucy says
“She? Ewwww, right in the mouth.”
Lucy laughs, the puppy has just licked inside Kate’s mouth.
Kate turns her head so that it doesn’t happen again and says “Can you see a collar?”
“No and I can see anyone that seems to be looking for a dog.”
“Me neither.”
“What should we do? We can’t leave her here.”
Kate giggles again when the puppy tries to get over her shoulder, “Let’s wait a little while to see if someone comes looking and if not we’ll take her to a vet, if she belongs to someone she will have a microchip.”
“How do you know that?”
“It’s a common law now to be required to microchip a dog over the age of three months.”
“You think that she’s older than three months.”
“Yes, I love golden retrievers, they're my favorite kind of dog. I had one when I was a kid. She would follow me everywhere, sleep next to me. We were inseparable.”
“If you love dogs so much, why don’t you have one?”
“Because dogs have a short life, I’m not strong enough to go through that.”
“So you rather not have a furry companion that would bring you love and happiness for more than a decade because you don’t want to lose him. Are you telling me that you would rather not have Noah in your life for as long as you did because losing him was too painful?”
“When you put it like that it sounds stupid.”
“It’s not stupid, I'm just trying to make you see things more rationally.”
“Well that’s a first, me needing someone to show me the rational side of something.”
“We all need a little help sometimes.”

They walk around the area for a good forty five minutes but not one comes looking for a dog. The puppy is not happy that Kate refuses to put her down and she keeps wiggling in her hands but Kate is scared that she’ll run away or get hurt.
They decide to take the puppy home with them. When they arrive at Kate’s building, Kate takes Lucy to a space that she had no idea existed. It’s a rectangular fenced piece of land covered with grass. There’s a few chairs and small tables. Once the entrance is closed Kate places the puppy on the grass and she starts running around, exploring her new playground. A few minutes later, Kate sits on the ground and the puppy immediately comes back to her. They play with her until she cuddles with Kate and falls asleep. Kate melts and picks her up into her arms.

“I found a place nearby where we can go to see if she’s microchip.” Lucy says while looking at her phone, “I’ll go get my car keys so that you can keep holding her.”
“Thank you.”

At the vet they are told that the puppy doesn’t have a microchip. The puppy is given a bath and a clean bill of health. The secretary gives them the name of a shelter in case they don’t want to keep her and an address for a store that, according to the vet, has good prices for supplies for dogs.

Once they are back in the car, Lucy says, “I’m taking you to the store aren’t I?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yes you do.”
As if the puppy understands what’s going on, she puts her front paws on Kate’s chest and gives her one bark. The couple share a laugh.
“I think she made it clear what she wants. Are you going to refuse her?”
“Oh that’s a cheap shot!” Kate says as she tries to fight back a smile.
”I’m just helping you make a decision that you know you’ve already made but refuse to accept.”
“That seems to be the theme of the last twenty four hours.”
“What do you mean?”
“I spent hours and hours wondering how I could possibly convey how much you mean to me while being unable to admit to myself just how much you meant to me. Only to end up saying that I love you just a few hours later.”
“Facing your fear is always the hardest. I get why it was so hard to do. But baby, you don’t have to face those fears alone anymore.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“To the store it is.”
Lucy beams, “Good, now she needs a name. How about Eevee?”
“Aww like the Pokémon!”
“You know about Pokémon?”
Kate slowly turns her head toward Lucy, “You do know we’re the same age, right? How could I not know about Pokémon? I used to collect cards. Pretty sure I still have them.”
“Seriously? Me too!”

At the store they buy the necessary items plus a few more that were on sale. When they get back into the car Kate says “Do you want to stop by your place to pick up a few more of your things? I think that me and Eevee would like for you to stay with us at least for the entire weekend.”
“I would like that.”

———————————

A month later, Kate and Lucy are cuddling in bed after a long week at work.
“I hated not sleeping with you last night.” Kate says
“Me too.”
Kate runs her fingers in Lucy’s hair, “Move in with me.”
Lucy’s face is overtaken by a blinding smile. She pushes Kate onto her back, gets on top of her and pulls her into a searing kiss.
“In case it wasn’t clear, that means yes.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”