Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sanidine breathes deep as they wake up, the familiar sight of Giant's Deep dominating their field of view. The leviathan of their system is as beautiful as it is dangerous, and they've often fantasized about exploring what might lie below its waves. Then again, they're pretty sure they're more excited to visit the more notable Nomai ruins like those on Brittle Hollow and really put the translator to the test. Plenty of time for everything, of course. Maybe they'll make their first outing a little tour, or maybe-

Their murky thoughts are interrupted by the violent flash of light that briefly dominates Giant's Deep's clouds, and they sit up, squinting all four eyes to try and see what happened. Odd. Maybe related to the orbiting Nomai ruin there? Nobody has ever been quite sure what it was for, but no Hearthian would ever accuse the Nomai of having built something so carelessly it would explode out of nowhere. That was more the job of a certain member of Outer Wilds Ventures, and it was one they have proven quite adept at.  

As the hatchling gets to their feet, Slate clears their throat.

"There's our pilot! Back from your pre-launch campout under the stars, I see. So it's Launch Day, eh?"

Sanidine gives the shipwright a nod, their face cracking into a grin, the swirling thoughts of where they might go fading for the moment. "Finally!"

"Finally, they say!" Slate replies, laughing. It's a comforting laugh, and it helps to smooth out the nerves Sanidine would never admit to having. "Seems like only yesterday you joined the space program, and suddenly here you are, leaving on your first solo voyage."

Sanidine finds themself trying not to start laughing too. It's difficult, but they want to at least look a little bit cool, like they imagine Feldspar must have on their first real launch day. To distract themselves, they lift their eyes to the nearby tower, and Slate's laughter quiets as they do the same. "Maybe. Feels like I've been waiting all my life for this." 

"Well then," Slate stands, putting their hand on the hatchling's shoulder. The ship isn't quite visible atop the platform from here, but neither Hearthian needs to see it to know its every detail. "What do you say? Ready to get this beauty off the ground? It's all fueled up and ready to go!"

Sanidine inhales through their nose, then nods once, and their cool facade cracks under the weight of their enthusiasm. "Stars yes! All systems go!"

They get half a step toward the tower before Slate tightens their grip on their shoulder. "Whoa, now. Glad you're excited, but remember, if you wreck the ship I'm not building you a new one. I'm not made of lightweight reentry grade aluminum alloys, you know."

Sanidine is about to come up with something clever to say when Slate spins them around away from the tower, jabbing a thumb over their shoulder toward the village path. "Anyway. You'll need to get the launch codes from Hornfels at the observatory before you can lift off. Just bring those here once you've said your goodbyes or whatever."

Oh. Of course. The tower would require a code. Nobody quite wanted to admit whose fault that was among the Outer Wilds Ventures team, but privately, Sanidine was betting against Feldspar, mostly because the Feldspar in their head would never let a little thing like launch codes keep them from exploring anyway.

They shrug Slate's hand off with an annoyed grunt. "Don't get why they couldn't tell you the codes before you came to get me."

"Because then you wouldn't go listen to whatever little speech they have cooked up to inspire you, as though you pilot-types need that." Slate chuckles, sitting down on their log again and gesturing with their marshmallow stick. "Go on. Ship isn't complete without its pilot, so my job isn't done until you're flying away."

This earns Slate a sideways look. Since when was Slate providing anything that sounded vaguely philosophical? Sanidine decides not to question things, and quickly gets moving before any more weirdness comes out of the older Hearthian's mouth.  

Ordinarily, Sanidine would spend most of their trip through the village getting distracted. It wasn't intentional. If it isn't Gneiss trying to get them to commit to a design for their spacefaring instrument, or Tephra dragging them into a game, it's Porphy asking them to venture out for some ingredient or Hal grabbing them to talk about some grand new idea. Sometimes it feels like damn near everyone on the planet knows Sanidine, and they all know to convince Sanidine to help them out, usually quite easily.

Today, the other inhabitants of Timber Hearth largely leave them be aside from quick congratulations, though it takes visible effort for Tephra not to challenge them to hide and seek for the fourth day in a row. Everyone knows it's Sanidine's Launch Day. Nobody would dare distract a new pilot from their tasks. If not for the pilot's sake, then for the sake of Rutile's nerves. Bad enough that the new pilots are generally so excited, a distracted one could easily burn down part of the village, so they claim. Again, they like to point out.  

They avoid Gossan. Not that they have anything against their venerable flight instructor, but they don't need another pop quiz about the pre-flight checklist or the post-landing checklist or whatever other thing. Gossan has been weirdly obsessed with making extra sure that they're ready, more than for any of the previous astronauts, and they don't really appreciate it. They're ready, they know they're ready, and once they prove it they're hopeful they won't have to hear anything about checklists ever again.

Sanidine wanders through the observatory's main entrance. There's a new display being set up at the far end, and their face lights up with a huge smile when they see who's prodding at something behind the curtain, their ears lifting happily. "Hal!"

Their best friend, the one Hearthian who knows more about the translator tool than they do, spins to face them and smiles right back, mimicking their expression near-exactly. "Sani!"  

The two meet halfway in a tight embrace. Other guests to the observatory simply filter around them. Anyone who would go to the observatory this early in the morning already knows who Hal and Sanidine are, and this is hardly an uncommon sight for the pair of them. The most they get is a glance or a giggle, and neither hatchling cares enough to complain about that. It's so commonplace, the Hearthbound members of the Ventures crew have a running betting pool alongside the Tree Keepers on whether or not the two of them are romantically involved or just very close.

The odds are a mystery to everyone, including the two in question.

"Sani!" Hal repeats as they pull back, not yet letting go of their friend. "Launch day at last! I was hoping I'd catch you here! Did you bring it?"  

"Yeah! The translator tool's in my sling pouch! I'm so excited!" Sanidine grins. Slate might not have understood how long the wait felt, but Hal certainly does, and the sheer enthusiasm in both of their voices speaks volumes. "Just wish you could come with me!"

"Hah!" Hal shakes their head, stepping back toward the exhibit and motioning for Sanidine to follow. "Me too, but I got something almost as good as a trip up there with you. Sneak peak. Check this out."

Sanidine follows, and as the pair round the curtain, they gasp.

Like any Hearthian, Sanidine knows about the Nomai. Their relics dot the solar system, their influence felt by every astronaut to leave the planet. The long-gone species might be the only thing that Sanidine is more enthusiastic about than living up to the standard they attribute to Feldspar in their head.  

Even with all their interest, though, they never thought they'd get to see something quite like the statue that rests on its pedestal in front of them. Its three eyes are closed, its face unreadable. The fine details are carved with so much care that they swear it's about to spring to life, even after being weathered with age. It is unmistakably alien, and to a Hearthian who dreams of the cosmos, that can only mean one thing.  

"Oh, stars above, Hal." They nearly whisper. Then, louder, "An intact statue?"

"Yup." Hal says, and they put their arm around their friend's shoulder. "Gabbro just recently found this one and some friends it has on Giant's Deep. Brought this one with 'em when they stopped in for a resupply last week, and they're supposed to bring back the others too. Hornfels just finished cleaning it up for display, and that's when I heard about it."

Sanidine's eyes nearly sparkle. It takes an incredible amount of willpower to look away and at Hal, their heart fit to burst with wonder. "It's incredible. Is that fur ?"

"You know," Hal smiles, winking an eye. "I said the same thing. Yeah, though, we think it's fur. Weird, huh?"  

Sanidine smiles, then looks back at the statue. So many new questions. Questions they'd get to help answer. "Super weird. Wonder what it felt like. Soft, or, you know. Not."

That gets a snort out of Hal, and they pat Sanidine on the back before letting go of them. "Got a way with words, Sani. But I know what you mean. I suppose we'll never really know, but this is already so much more than we had before."

"Yeah." Sanidine nods, unable to stop smiling. "Between this and our translator, the mysteries of the solar system better look out."

"Not if you don't go see Hornfels." Hal crosses their arms. "If I don't see you on the way out, then you better be safe for me, okay? No stupid stunts. At least, not yet."

"Of course." Sanidine says, shaking their head and starting on past the statue. "Wouldn't want to damage the translator tool."

"You better tell me all the dirt when you get back! And you better come back at all!" Hal calls, as their friend disappears around the corner. They give the doorway a worried smile, then return to work on the pedestal lighting. Worry is normal, they reassure themselves. Sani will be back before they know it.  

Sanidine weaves past the small morning crowd, heading for the observatory doors. They've seen everything the museum floor has to see many times over, and helped set up the translator tool exhibit themself. They take the stairs two at a time, and only barely manage to restrain themself from openly running across the observatory deck.

Hornfels, of course, hears them coming. They're watching already as the youngest member of Outer Wilds Ventures crosses the room, smiling softly and shaking their head at the hatchling's barely restrained energy. It reminds them all too much of Feldspar. "Sani. I take it you're excited."

" You bet your- ! Er. Sorry. Yes." Sanidine says, and they feel their cheeks growing warm. Hornfels might not be the founder that they admire the most, but that doesn't mean their respect is any less deep. If anything, it's deeper. Slate is more casual, and hours upon hours of flight instruction with Gossan wore away any compunction against being overly vocal in front of their flight coach long ago. Feldspar is... missing. But Hornfels still has an air of authority, and the young astronaut hasn't forgotten the way the two of them bonded as they helped find a way to live with the realization that the best of the best wasn't coming back anytime soon.

For them, Sanidine will always at least try to behave.

"Relax. You should be excited." Hornfels ' smile grows . "Good news, then. I just finished pre-flight observations, and local conditions are good! I'd say it's past time to get you up there and putting that new translator tool through its paces, hm?"

Sanidine lets go of a breath they weren't aware they were holding and nods eagerly. "Please ."

"All right, all right. One thing, first." Hornfels says, and the younger Hearthian's ears twitch back and forth despite their best efforts at hiding their impatience. "Same question I ask everyone, you don't get your codes without it. What's your plan once you're in space?"

If Sanidine had a plan before witnessing an explosion in front of Giant's Deep, they don't now. They never did resolve that spiral of options into something reasonable, did they? "No idea. Gonna wing it."  

"Hah!" Hornfels barks out. Of course. Without further ado, they hold out a slip of paper with the launch codes. "Why am I not surprised? There you go, Sani. Fly safe, and come back to us whole."

Sanidine snatches the paper, reading the sequence three times before remembering to respond. They straighten up, nodding again, and give Hornfels the biggest smile of their life. "You know it, Hornfels. Thank you."

And then they're off! They tackle the stairs three at a time on the way down, and only barely keep from running through the still-occupied museum floor. Upon spotting a crowd blocking the main way into the entrance hall, they detour to the right, ducking past the Staff Only rope that Hal must've hung after they left and hooking behind the curtain to pass by the statue.

And at that very moment, everything stops.

Chapter Text

Sanidine was supposed to be able to just swing around the statue. A simple shortcut. Back out into the sunlight and off to the launch platform, just as they'd planned.

Their eyes go wide as they realize they can't move their limbs. The sounds from outside the curtain are muffled, distorted, like playing them back through a radio with too little power. A second later, the sounds cut out entirely. They want to call out for Hal, or really for anyone, but the noise dies in their throat.

Silently, the Nomai statue turns to them. Its eyes line up with theirs, and they find their eyes refusing to close, as well, as though they're completely frozen. Their breath isn't even coming into their body properly. Before they can try to yell again, the statue's eyes open, a brilliant purple that would've been quite beautiful if it weren't so terrifying.

The world washes away into a barrage of colors and lights, patterns that must mean something if only they were the right one to see them. An electric hum dances in their ears and sets their teeth on edge. The day plays back in their mind, a recording of their life reversing at a speed that should honestly make them feel sick. It doesn't. They're not sure if that's even more worrying or not.

As the vision goes dark in their sleeping bag, the statue's eyes stop glowing. The world exists again, noise and life springing back into existence outside of the curtain. If it weren't for the statue's eyes being open, Sanidine would think their labored breathing was the result of some kind of panic attack.

They're still not sure it isn't. The young Hearthian reaches up to touch the statue's exposed eye. Their voice trembles as they breathe a "Stars above."

Then they're moving, pushing past the curtain and stumbling through the small crowd, numb to anything but their own thoughts. Options race through their mind, but it's like sand through a sieve. The ones they do latch onto are almost all liable to get them grounded. They decide, very quickly, that they'd rather die than accept a medical grounding today.

The sunlight on their scales brings them back into the moment as they exit, and they stop to lean on the outside wall of the museum and breathe, sucking in deep gulps of air. That felt so real. Too real. Way too real. But they have no idea where Hal's gone. Even if they could find Hal, their friend might decide to tell someone else out of concern. So where can they turn?

They don't have to try very hard to think back on what Hal had told them about the statue. It hasn't been more than ten minutes anyway, and they've just seen an alarmingly clear refresher of every single word that they'd heard that day in reverse. They try not to think about how understandable it all was.

Realization dawns, and they make for the launch pad. Hal's the only person on Timber Hearth they feel like they can talk to about this, but Gabbro found the statues. And despite their differences and oddities, Gabbro had always been friendly. They just might know what all of that meant, and either way, they certainly wouldn't tell Sanidine they weren't clear to fly, especially if they flew all the way to Giant's Deep anyway.

Slate is there, of course, waiting with a big smile. Sanidine thanks the stars that they managed to calm down enough on the way over to keep the shipwright from getting suspicious. "There you are! Got your codes?"

"Yup!" Sanidine replies. They pull out the paper from their flightsuit's pocket. "Right here."

"Good!" Slate retrieves their most recent marshmallow and pops it into their mouth, then gets up and walks over. They extend their hand with a nod and a warm smile. "Well, hatchling, it's all yours. Try not to have too much fun out there."

Sanidine takes their hand and gives them their best handshake. It almost makes the statue's weirdness less concerning. Slate might be a bit coarse, and their hands might be big and rough, but there's a solidness to their presence. "Thanks, Slate. You watch. I'll be landing here with the greatest discoveries ever one day, and it'll be the same ship, just like you built it."

"That'll be the day." Slate rolls their lower eyes, but their smile doesn't fade. They let go of Sanidine's hand and watch them climb aboard the elevator.

Once they can't see the hatchling anymore, they return to their log and their marshmallows. Whatever business the rest of Outer Wilds Ventures might have for them can wait for a least a little while longer.

As the elevator comes to a stop, Sanidine's heart pounds in their ears. They've been aboard other people's ships before, of course, as part of training. But this is the real deal. This ship belongs to them, and they're going to actually break atmosphere with it. They approach it with a respectful gaze, like it's a wild animal in need of taming, and place their forehead gently against the port-side landing strut.

"Hi, beautiful." They whisper. "Ready to see the stars together?"

For a moment, they swear the ship's structure feels like it shifts slightly, as though straining against the gravity holding it down. It could easily be their imagination. Either way, it's enough to make them smile and step into the lift beam, not wanting to keep the ship or themself waiting any longer for this inaugural flight.

The beam is Nomai tech, and Sanidine's seen it before. It was only a few years ago that Slate found out how to install it into a Hearthian ship, and all of the offworld travelers were called back to get the upgrade. Gabbro got it installed in theirs before they even took off for the first time. Despite the familiarity of it, Sanidine still shivers a little as it tugs against their muscles and bones, pulling them upward and into the ship's cabin.

Once aboard, they glance at the computer before heading straight to the cockpit. They can check out all of the new and improved features later, as disappointed as Hornfels might've been about them not marveling at the new design for the casing. Right now, only one thing is on their mind. They sit down and pull the straps into place, flipping a couple of switches and deftly putting in the launch codes before grasping the controls. The stick and throttle feel good in their hands, the pedals sturdy beneath their feet. The panels light up in unison, and they swear the throttle control trembles with anticipation against their palm.

Sanidine takes just a moment to savor the feeling.

There isn't a soul in Timber Hearth's village that doesn't smile when they hear the engines roar to life, sending their newest astronaut racing skyward. Slate whistles, mutters about how much they impress themself sometimes, and eats another marshmallow.

The ship burns past the Attlerock fast enough that initially, Esker doesn't even see it clearly. They have to wait until the moon orbits further before they can confirm that it's headed for Giant's Deep, at speed, and all seems well. Down at ground control, Hornfels has been joined by Gossan, and they breathe a sigh of relief at the news.

Sanidine leans forward in their seat and tries to take in the sights. In the far distance they can see the comet that has never managed to shake off the name 'Interloper'. Ash and Ember Twin dance their way past the sun, cast in dramatic silhouette. Brittle Hollow is visible for just a moment before its orbit takes it behind their star, its moon pursuing it almost aggressively.

Their eyes hesitate as they pass over the twisted blight on the void that their people call Dark Bramble, and they suck in a breath. Seeing it in person, even as far away as it is, fills the pit of their stomach with dread. The vines are a kind of beautiful, they think, in much the same way a venomous animal might be beautiful. Often deadly, sometimes awful. Always beautiful, in its way. Nobody has ever gone in.

Sanidine lifts a hand to the sight, then clenches it shut tight, as though grasping the Bramble for themself. They'll be the first, they reckon. They'll see what the thorny mass is protecting, just like they'll see everything else. They smile at the thought, settling back into their seat, imagining all of the things they want their future to be full of.

Still, Slate isn't wrong saying that this ship is their finest work yet, and its mighty engines leave little time for such idle distraction. Its young pilot is just starting to calm down from excitement when the autopilot begins executing its deceleration burn, and Giant's Deep looms ahead.

By the time Sanidine is taking back the controls to perform reentry, the remains of the enigmatic Nomai structure are cresting the sunlit side of the planet, and they peer past a particularly bright lightning storm at the debris. It's haunting, in some way. They make a mental note to ask Riebeck or Hal about the violent way it appears to have torn apart later, and speed up their descent to avoid being in its path.

The winds of Giant's Deep roar outside their cockpit, and they fight to keep control of the ship as they descend. Every aspiring astronaut has heard of the violence of the planet's atmosphere, but to experience it as a pilot is an entirely different matter. The young astronaut manages to tune their signalscope one-handed in fits and starts, honing in on Gabbro's signal somewhere below the wall of emerald green.

Lightning illuminates the interior of the ship. For a moment, Sanidine wonders if this is going to be a fatal mistake.

Then they break through the cloud layer, and all they can do is gasp. Below, the sea writhes and roils, no single wave ever able to get purchase in the chaotic conditions. Islands bob like unmoored boats. They slam the ship onto its side and pull, narrowly managing to avoid a tornado that seems to almost spitefully want to pluck them from the sky.

Leveling out, they briefly wonder why Gabbro was spending so much time at this place at all prior to the statues' discovery. Then their thoughts slow, as the signalscope gets a clean lock at last. The dulcet tones of Gabbro's flute break through the howling noise outside, and they can't help but grin a little, angling their ship toward the older astronaut's island and following the music the rest of the way down.

The touchdown is far from perfect, but it's hardly a crash. The ship's struts find purchase on the wet rock, and Sanidine leans back in their seat, taking a few steadying breaths. Made it. Take that, nerves.

It takes them more than a few minutes to get their suit on. Getting it on in the ship's relatively cramped quarters is a bit trickier than they're used to. Once they finally emerge, they break into a run toward the rising trail of smoke nearby, trying to figure out exactly what they're going to say to Gabbro on arrival. Somehow, 'That statue is cursed or something' doesn't quite feel right, even if it sums up their immediate thoughts pretty well.

Gabbro is swinging in a hammock between two trees, watching a tornado amble along the horizon line and idly playing their flute. They stop once Sanidine arrives beside them, and although their helmets obscure their faces, Sanidine imagines they must have a real impressively mellow grin. It just fits, somehow. "Gabbro!"

"Sani! That you? I swore Gossan was gonna ground you for another two months of training, the way they were talkin' last time I was home."

Sanidine grimaces. A few misplaced, emotionally-charged words about wanting to find out what happened to Feldspar where Gossan could overhear, and things got heated fast. "They almost did. Nevermind that. Y'know those statues you found?"

"Oh, yeah!" Gabbro sits up rather suddenly. They're excited to talk about something. Sanidine isn't sure if this is an ill omen. When Gabbro gets excited, things generally get weird. But then, today has been weird anyway. "This is gonna sound weird, but I think I had a spiritual experience with one of them earlier."

"You too?!" Sanidine asks, suddenly just as excited as Gabbro. One person could be a hallucination, but two, on separate planets, turned things into a bonafide mystery. And a mystery so soon after leaving home felt like the luckiest thing in the world right then. "Lemme guess, it opened its eyes, and you saw everything play in reverse for a bit? Felt like the universe just held perfectly still, including you?"

"Huh!" Gabbro crosses their arms in thought. "Pretty much exactly that."

Sanidine nods eagerly. "That one you took to the museum."

"Interesting. My new best friend is at the statue workshop." Gabbro glances off into the distance. "It's probably gone wandering by now. Things tend to do that around here."

"Oh, great." Sanidine rolls their eyes, then sits down at the fire, producing their marshmallow stick.

Gabbro twirls their flute in one hand as they get up, then wanders over themself, taking a seat beside the hatchling. "I think it's charming. Part of why this place has so much personality." They say, producing their own marshmallow stick.

Sanidine snorts, not yet having prepared a marshmallow. "Personality like a wildfire, maybe. What do you think the statue thing meant? Feels significant we both got it."

"Maybe. The Nomai would be the type to make something as nice as a sculpture into something else, wouldn't they? I guess even back then some folk just didn't appreciate the simplicity of a thing that just is what it is." Gabbro muses. They glance at Sanidine, and find themselves on the receiving end of an intense stare, the kind you can feel through a helmet visor and out the other end of your skull. They spear a marshmallow before they start talking again, and Sanidine nearly says something.

"Relax, I'm not finished. So anyway, I radioed Hornfels about it, and they told me they didn't appreciate me dozing off just so I could tell them about my dreams. I told them I was offended that they thought I dreamed of something so normal. What'd they say to you?"

Sanidine shakes their head, prodding at the fire with their stick. Embarrassment rises up in their chest, a warmth that touches the tips of their ears. They're glad for the helmet. Gabbro doesn't need to know how this makes them feel, that they were so afraid of being grounded they even avoided their best friend. Sure, Gabbro would probably understand, being a traveler themselves, but they didn't need to open themselves up to more questions. "I didn't tell anyone. Just headed for the launch pad. Thought you might know something."

"Heh." Gabbro turns their marshmallow, letting the flames lick at it just enough. They've been at this only a couple years longer than Sanidine, and in that time, they've had to get very good at roasting marshmallows on alien planets to the appropriately-dark color they like. "I suppose I know about a lot of weird things. Just not this weird thing."

"That reminds me!" Sanidine blurts, shaken from their thoughts. "That poem! The rearranging one! That was you, wasn't it?"

"Oh, yeah." Gabbro says, and their grin is audible. "The one in the woods. I remember writing that. You like it?"

"It's awesome." Sanidine grins back. "How'd you figure it out?"

"I suppose you wouldn't believe I'm just a genius." Gabbro attempts, and Sanidine elbows them, nearly burning Gabbro's marshmallow in the process. This gets a chuckle out of them. "Fine, fine. I snuck out there a lot, and started to notice patterns. Details you only pick up on if you're not trying to look too hard, stuff you gotta slow down for."

Sanidine nods. No, it doesn't quite make perfect sense, but it makes more sense than most Gabbro explanations do. Enough that they can follow the general idea, at any rate. "I think I get it. Either way, the poem is great. Maybe I'll try making one myself."

"Yeah? Hit me." Gabbro lifts their helmet enough to munch on their marshmallow, then secures it again.

"What, now? Uhh." Sanidine frowns. "Putting me on the spot here."

"No time like the present. Not like you have to hurry to get anywhere." Gabbro observes. "C'mon, just throw something out there."

"I'm thinkin', I'm thinkin'. No idea how you do this art stuff so often."

"Like I said, I slow down a bit. It helps more than you think." Gabbro says, doing their best to sound wise. Sanidine doesn't quite think it works, but maybe that's just because they know what Gabbro normally sounds like, and wise isn't the word they'd use.

They're not sure how many hours they spend sitting there on the beach with Gabbro, not getting very far with their ideas, but trying anyway. Both Hearthians nearly jump out of their suits when the world around them darkens ominously, and Sanidine grabs for Gabbro's hand reflexively at the terrifyingly loud rumble that echoes through their bodies.

Neither of them knows what to say, as the sky brightens once more.

The universe ends.

Chapter Text

Sanidine jerks awake, terror in the pit of their stomach, a strangled cry dying in their throat just as the heat of the supernova dies on their scales. They pant for breath, watching Giant's Deep loom above, that violet flash scarring its clouds once again. Timber Hearth is underneath them. The sun will be up soon.

It was just a dream. Just a very realistic dream with a very unpleasant ending. Pre-launch jitters. Nothing to be afraid of.

"There's our pilot! Back from your pre-launch campout under the stars, I see. So it's Launch Day, eh?"

Slate's voice nearly makes them jump out of their skin. There's something uncomfortably familiar about those words, something nagging at the edge of their mind as they finish waking up. They try to brush it off as they get up, and pull from the depths of their enthusiasm. "Finally!"

The conversation feels wrong. Twice, Sanidine almost interrupts Slate to ask if they've said something before and one of them just forgot. Shaken, the young astronaut heads for the observatory, rubbing their arm and squeezing it gently.

It's solid, it's real. It's there. Stop letting the dream shake you, they tell themself. You're not some terrified hatchling anymore. You're about to get your own ship. Get a hold of yourself.

Hal and Hornfels are both waiting in the Observatory's entrance hall, standing by the curtain at the end, lost in their own conversation. For a moment, dread pools in Sanidine's gut at the sight of the curtain, but they push past it and walk to the end of the hall. "Hal? Hornfels? What's going on?"

"Sani!" Hal beams, rushing to Sanidine and pulling them into a tight hug. Sanidine returns the gesture. Something about it feels off. Before they can think about it any further, Hal is dragging them toward the curtain, saying something about how they know it's launch day but Sani, you really have got to see this.

Sanidine can't pay attention. Their heart is pounding in their ears. As soon as they step around the curtain, after a quick nod to Hornfels, their blood feels like it freezes solid and they stop hearing Hal's voice entirely.

The Nomai statue stares impassively forward, its three eyes wide open. It's a sight Sanidine is sure they'll never forget. They whirl away, turning to Hornfels, interrupting Hal mid-sentence.

"Hey. I'm here for the launch codes." They say, almost too harshly. It's like they're daring that slip of paper to be different. Daring anything to be different.

"Whoa, whoa, easy there hatchling!" Hornfels exclaims. "Normally there's a whole routine to this, you know?"

"I-" Sanidine starts. Stops. Takes a deep breath at the sight of Hal off to one side. Their best friend has such a concerned look on their face, their arms crossed. They can explain things later, if they figure things out for themself at all. "You look pretty busy, so, um, I thought we could just, you know, skip that kind of thing."

Hornfels rolls their upper pair of eyes, and Sanidine almost wilts under the gesture. "I thought we taught you more respect for tradition than that, Sani. But I suppose you're right that I've got some unexpected work on my plate. Here. Fly safe. Come back to us."

"Thanks, Hornfels." Sanidine manages. They take the paper with a hand that threatens to shake so bad as to betray their emotions. Something is so wrong. Was it a premonition of some kind? They'd never had particularly prophetic visions before. "Thanks, Hal. Sorry. Just, uh, pre-flight jitters. Got startled by this crazy statue, it's a wild find you guys have here. I'll catch up when I get back."

Hal's brow creases, but they don't say anything before Sanidine is already heading back into the sunlight. They open the paper as they walk to the tower, and the familiarity of the symbols starts them breathing too fast. Shallow and quick. Their stomach turns. What is this? Why is this? They break into a dead sprint for the launch tower.

They give Slate their handshake and take the elevator up. They barely even hear what they're told, and they don't stop to greet the ship this time, instead getting into it and pulling their suit on as though the motions will make them feel less lost.

When they sit down and fire up the ship, there's no doubt in their mind about where they're going. This time, they don't let the ship start to coast as they enter interplanetary space. The engines roar, and the ship pushes hard, and this time as it enters Giant's Deep's clouds the hatchling has the signalscope already running.

They don't react quickly enough to the distance reading rapidly shrinking.

Sanidine cries out as their ship meets Gabbro's island going opposite directions. They're thrown against the harness, shards of glass showering over their suit. A large enough piece manages to catch the strap as the ship tumbles.

They don't have time to realize what's happening before the ship's still-active thrusters, driven by their hand freezing up around the stick, send the whole thing straight into the island again. Their damaged harness snaps as they're thrown forward once more, and there's an audible crack as their body crushes their arm against the ship's console at entirely the wrong angle for an arm to be at. They're thrown free into space, screaming into their short-range radio. A piece of the orbiting Nomai wreckage soars by, nearly winging them in the head, and they can only blearily see it through tears and white-hot pain.

They're vaguely aware of arms wrapping around them, under their shoulders. Gravity reasserts its hold, Giant's Deep jealously reclaiming its escapee.

"Stars, Sani. I've got you." Gabbro's voice says over the radio. It's never sounded so reassuring before.

The forces are too much along with the pain. Sanidine's vision dims as they fall, and they start to black out when Gabbro's jetpack engages, the thrusters straining against the weight of two Hearthians instead of one.

By the time their senses are coming back to them, they're laid down next to a tree near the campfire on Gabbro's island. They groan. Vague shapes resolve slowly. Gabbro's empty hammock across from them. Rocks. The campfire. Their helmet's off, and the rain pelts their face aggressively.

Their ship. Oh, their ship. The pain they're feeling is nothing compared to the heartbreak they have for that poor ship. It sits impaled on the rocks behind the campsite, cockpit-first. Smoke trails from its engines.

Sanidine tries to sit up, and they get about halfway before a strangled cry escapes their throat and they taste metal. Gabbro's hands land on their shoulders from behind, guiding them slowly back down, and their fellow astronaut's helmetless face appears above them. They look worried. Sanidine doesn't like it. Gabbro never looked worried when they saw each other back on Timber Hearth.

"Gabbro." They manage.

"That's right. You're gonna be fine. Gossan's gonna send one of the others to pick you up." Gabbro replies, a hint of a smile playing on their lips. "Void-brain. I know you're a better pilot than that, or they would never let you off Timber Hearth. What in the stars were you doing?"

"I. The statue's eyes are open already. But everyone's like last time. Too much is the same." Sanidine mumbles. They avert their eyes to look down at themself, and grimace. Their suit's torn up bad, their arm in what they have to admit is a fairly well made makeshift sling. The worst, they reckon, is that their chest hurts with each breath. It's not the kind of hurting that seems fatal, but it's making it all the harder to stay calm. They meet Gabbro's eyes again, searching for recognition. "We were talking about poems."

Gabbro's smile disappears, and they can't hide the way their ears drop. "We were, weren't we? You were about to hit me with another attempt at a third line. Then we got," their mouth quirks. They're not comfortable with this, but they're trying very hard not to drop their calm demeanor. "Interrupted.

Sanidine pulls in a haggard breath, reaching up with their good arm despite the way their muscles ache and placing it over Gabbro's opposite hand. "You remember too. Nobody else remembered me launching. I thought it was, I don't know. Bad dreams, but."

The older Hearthian closes their eyes in contemplation. Sanidine knows exactly what's going through their head. The darkness. Then the blinding light, and with it the all-encompassing feeling of pain and heat. They finally look back down at Sanidine, and their feelings on the matter don't seem to have improved. "I did too. But I saw the same flash above the clouds. Then the exact same radio messages started up, right when I remembered them. The only thing that seems different is the tornadoes."

"Was it some kind of," Sanidine pauses, grasping for anything that might explain this. "Shared vision? Future seeing stuff?"

"If it was, then wouldn't the statue's eyes still be shut?" Gabbro wonders, then shakes his head. "No, I don't think it's that. Not like I know what it was. Right now, let's just be glad it's over, huh?"

Sanidine replies with a noncommittal grunt. "I guess."

"Hey, look on the bright side. You and Hal get a new mystery to solve."

That brings a smile back to Sanidine's face. "Y'know, that's true. They're gonna go out of their mind when I tell them about this."

"There's the Sani I remember." Gabbro's smile returns as well, and they both look out at the tornadoes dancing across the water. "Tell you what, buddy. Gossan gives you a hard time about hitting my island, I'll vouch for you. Say it was coming up faster than normal or something. Keep you from getting stuck in a medical grounding for the next two years."

"Don't make me owe you even more than I already do." Sanidine replies, with an exaggerated groan. "I already know you're gonna rope me into whatever new ideas you get for art exhibits over the next decade after this."

"Well, I was going to consider this just part of being an astronaut." Gabbro observes, and their smile turns to a grin as they look back down at their fellow explorer. "But now that you mention it, I could use an extra set of hands and eyes for this idea I had."

"I should've gone to Brittle Hollow. At least Riebeck would just want me to help translate some things instead of owing my life to an artist." Sanidine grins back at them.

"You sound like Slate." Gabbro rolls their lower pair of eyes. It's a friendlier gesture than Hornfels' was. "I swear, the engineers running the show back home are gonna-"

Both of them fall deathly silent as the sky begins to dim. Sanidine grabs Gabbro's hand and holds on tight. "What."

The sky goes dark. Gabbro's heart pounds, and they squeeze Sanidine's hand. Even they can't help the "Oh, no." that escapes their lips.

"This." Sanidine manages, as that horrible rumbling echoes through their bones. "This is. No. Please. Gabbro, please."

They know pleading for Gabbro to somehow stop this won't help anything. They don't know what else to do. Gabbro wraps their arm around Sanidine's chest and holds on, the sky beginning to grow bright again. The helplessness that settles into their bones at the sight feels at once both heavy and hollow. Both of them know they'd do anything to protect the other from that terrible burning. Both know they can do nothing. "I know. Don't look. I'm sorry."

"Me too." Sanidine chokes out, as the light grows blinding.

The universe ends.

Chapter Text

Sanidine screams as they wake up.

The heat of that awful fire is still fresh in their mind as they throw themselves from their sleeping bag. Slate starts to say something. They don't stop to listen, lunging onto the elevator and jamming its control lever upward. They feel sick, but they can't stop to calm themselves. It wouldn't help anyway. Slate's yelling something, but the words slide off their ears as they run off the elevator and throw themselves into the lift beam.

They aren't even surprised when the ship accepts the launch codes again. The sound of rockets firing startles more of the village than it delights this time, as Sanidine wasn't due to leave until at least sunrise.

The astronaut straps in after the ship is already in motion, breaking through the clouds and atmosphere of Timber Hearth like a missile, already pulling up Giant's Deep on their navigation screen. They look up and let out another scream.

The grey-blue clouds of what the Hearthians have decided to call the Phantom Moon fill their vision. The ship is going far too fast to divert, and they squeeze their eyes shut and brace for the worst, with no Gabbro to save them this time.

Nothing. They take several deep breaths, tears starting to stain their cheeks as they open their eyes slowly. The Phantom is gone, like it never existed in the first place. Legends of it say that no Hearthian has managed to land on the thing before, but for all they asked, Sanidine never got a satisfying answer as to why. Suddenly, they have a pretty good idea of the why, if not the how.

They can process what just happened later, they tell themself, and dial in the ship's autopilot. They wipe their tears on their sleeve and hiccup once, trying to force themselves to calm down. The relative quiet of the ship as they travel is as good a chance as any, and even if there's a good chance Gabbro will understand, they don't want to let the person they just went through whatever that was with again see them like this.

Bad enough they almost died last time. Some astronaut ready for space they feel like.

By the time the retrorockets are firing, Sanidine has managed to at least stop crying. There has to be an explanation for this. And with an explanation will come a solution. And then... they aren't sure what then. A lot of talking to Hal and Hornfels to try and make themself feel better, they suppose. Maybe Gabbro will be there too. For a moment, they wonder if Gabbro was screaming when they woke up this time as well.

They hope not. It wouldn't be right.

This time, they guide the ship in more carefully. It bucks against the winds, but Sanidine is starting to learn how to correct for them without straining so hard. It's not so bad, they realize, if you start to let the wind push a bit. Maybe that's why Gabbro likes it out here so much, they think. A planet that rewards their usual penchant for going with the flow of things.

They set the ship down without even damaging the struts this time. Their suit already feels faster to pull on, every strap and clasp starting to become familiar. As soon as the seals are tight, they jump out, running through the rocky archway to Gabbro.

Gabbro isn't playing their flute. They're sitting on the sand instead of laying in their hammock, staring at the sky like it might bite them. They're so preoccupied that Sanidine isn't noticed on approach, causing them to startle and yell when the young astronaut places their hand on their shoulder.

"Gabbro!" Sanidine yells, stumbling back and falling onto the sand, hands raised. "It's just me!"

Gabbro takes several heaving breaths, pointing their flute at Sanidine as though it's some kind of weapon. Their arm finally falls, and they rip their helmet off with their free hand, eyes wide.

Sanidine hates to see them like that. It hurts somewhere deep in their heart.

"It's me." They say, quietly, lifting their own helmet off. The two stare at each other for a long moment.

"Stars." Gabbro breathes, then scrambles to their feet and rushes over to offer the younger Hearthian their hand. "I'm so sorry, Sani. C'mon. Your arm okay?"

Sani takes the help, then falls against Gabbro for a moment and wraps them in a hug. It feels right, even if Gabbro's arms just hang at their side for the longest time. "It's fine, Gabbro. It's like nothing happened at all."

When Gabbro finally returns their embrace, Sanidine lets out a breath they hadn't realized they'd started holding. "I suppose that's good." They manage, holding tight, like they're afraid to let go of the smaller astronaut.

"It's better than waking up with it still broken." Sanidine mumbles. They stand like that for another few minutes, barely feeling the wind and rain pelting their scales. When they finally separate, both seem better for it. "We need to figure this out."

"I know." Gabbro says. They scan the horizon for a moment. No sign of the island they're looking for, but Giant's Deep is malleable. "If I describe an island for you, can you find it from the air?"

"Yeah." Sanidine says, firmly. They both know it's false confidence, but Gabbro's seen Sanidine helplessly watching as death stampedes their way. It doesn't take a genius to realize that pulling at it might break them down in the moment. Besides, at the mention of having a goal, their ears immediately perked up and a spark lit in their eyes once again. Gabbro decides they can't bear to see it disappear. "You gonna fly with me? Easier with two."

Gabbro pauses to consider it. They bend over to collect their helmets, then slide theirs back on and latch it, offering Sanidine the other. "Sure. Might be fun, even. I haven't been in a ship with someone else in a long time. Slate ever add another seat?"

"Pff." Sanidine rolls their lower eyes, then slides their helmet back on. "Of course not."

"Typical Slate." Gabbro says, but they're grinning now. Sanidine leads them back to the ship, and Gabbro spins their flute in their fingers as they walk. Hell of a first flight this turned into. As shaken as Gabbro is, they don't want to think about how this must be affecting the hatchling. Maybe later they'll try to teach them some meditation tricks.

Sure enough, the ship is a bit small for two. Sanidine eases it off the ground, and Gabbro leans past their seat to peer out the cockpit. "Alright. You know to watch for the tornadoes. Let's just cruise for a bit."

Sanidine's head lifts from the control panel, and they clear their throat. "This place really doesn't seem like it'll like it if I 'cruise for a bit', Gabbro."

"Trust the process, hatchling." Gabbro replies, and smirks when Sanidine issues another one of those noncommittal grunts in response. They can just imagine the degree of eye roll that probably earned them, but it's true enough, and keeping Sanidine from getting into their own head will mean a steadier hand at the stick. Besides, that grunt is almost cute, in the way annoying a harmless animal into grumbling at you is cute.

If Sanidine knew about that train of thought, Gabbro might just find themselves taking a shortcut back to the surface.

Sanidine guides the ship into, for lack of a better term, a lazy cruising pattern just under the turbulent cloud layer. They're not sure if Gabbro is impressed or not, but they kind of hope so. Even here, the winds are not kind to a ship as light as the Hearthian explorers' vessels, and it takes a gentle hand not to overcorrect.

For now, they focus on dodging tornadoes. They're approaching the other side of the planet when Gabbro points at one of the islands, a linked pair of rocky mounds jutting up from the ocean. "That one. That's where I found the statues."

Sanidine wants to ask questions. They swallow them, instead, and focus on landing. Deciding they don't quite trust the glowing Nomai circle right now, even if it does look an awful lot like a landing pad, they set the ship down on the sand beside it instead.

Gabbro nods, stepping back. "Nice flying and a smooth landing, Sani."

Sanidine means to say something cool in response, or at least something that sounds un-hatchling-like. They aren't expecting the earnest compliment, and instead they nearly trip getting out of their seat, grabbing a railing and letting out a tiny, squeaking "Thanks!" in response.

To Gabbro's immense credit, they manage not to burst into laughter. If they open their mouth, they're sure they will. So instead they head to the hatch ahead of Sanidine and jump out, switching off their short-wave radio so that their poor buddy can't hear their wheezing.

Sanidine takes a moment to compose themself. They're very aware that Gabbro is probably laughing at them, and it makes their face and ears burn. Just one cool moment in front of a more experienced astronaut, please, it's all they're asking for.

When Sanidine joins Gabbro outside, they've managed to recover from their laughing fit. Gabbro points to the statue workshop door, switching their radio back on. "The door there is busted, but there's plenty of writing there and on the ruin above. Maybe that shiny new translator'll give us some idea of what we've gotten ourselves into."

"Here's hoping." Sanidine nods. The translator tool works. They've tested it over and over, they know for a fact that it's going to work. This does nothing to quiet their nerves as the pair cross the broken footpath, heading for the workshop side of the island.

True to Gabbro's word, the door is broken, and it looks like it's been that way for a very, very long time. It's not what's important, and both of them know it. Instead, Sanidine focuses the translator on the pedestal in front. It's not exactly a necessary test run, but to them, any chance at figuring this out comes down to making sure the tool can read correctly.

They find themselves breathing a little easier when the text deciphers almost instantly into 'Statue Workshop'. They give Gabbro a brief nod, and the pair head for the gravity crystals on the side of the island.

As they climb, Gabbro considers trying to lighten Sanidine's mood. Lighting flashes overhead and both Hearthians stiffen noticeably for a moment, and Gabbro takes this as a sign that this isn't the time. They're both watching the sky warily, all too aware that whatever force is tormenting them could easily decide they've had enough time at any moment.

For Sanidine's part, the gravity wall is an almost comforting sort of familiar. The water below might be far more hazardous than the floor of the museum, but they spent half of their time working on the translator sideways in the back room of the observatory. As a result, there are few things they trust more to keep them secure than a Nomai crystal.

The two reach the top without incident, and while Gabbro takes a second to reorient themself, Sanidine heads for the first bit of Nomai script they can see.

The sight of the translator working, deciphering runes that have stumped the Hearthians since the first explorer to reach the ruins and mining-site caves on Timber Hearth, is nearly enough to make them forget the situation they're in.

From the device they and Hal poured so much of themselves into, ancient words spring to life. Sanidine manages to choke back tears of happiness. It's a welcome distraction from the helplessness they felt not so long ago.

Lami. Taget. Laevi. Names that had gone unremembered for so long. A shakier scrawl than they and Hal had found on the samples they used. The language reminds them of the younger hatchlings back home plotting to get into trouble, and their heart aches as they connect the dots.

Of course the Nomai had children, they remind themself. That's simply common sense. But Sanidine hadn't thought they'd find text left by them so soon. They seem so mischievous, so familiar.

The Hearthian hopes that the ancient kids had full lives, at least, and starts to adjust the translator so that it would use the signalscope to transmit its findings back to the ship computer automatically.

"Sani! Wake up!" Gabbro yells over the radio, shocking them back to reality just as the roar of a tornado overtakes the island. They turn, and there's Gabbro, locked to the ground by a translucent blue ring of light, reaching out for their hand regardless.

Sanidine grabs a piece of the rubble nearby, hanging on for dear life against the g-force. As the island reaches its zenith, they pull themself up and out of the ruined dwelling, attempting to push themself to Gabbro with their jetpack.

Not quick enough. Giant's Deep has no patience for its visitors this time. Gravity snares the island once more, and Sanidine overcorrects, smacking against the ground beside Gabbro and bouncing away with a panicked yelp. Gabbro yells something that Sanidine's panicked ears can't quite process, and they try to align themselves with the ground and roll. Maybe they can at least spread out the impact. Isn't that part of what Gossan told them to do in the event of an uncontrolled ejection?

Stars explode in their eyes as the island comes to an abrupt stop, the breath knocked clear of their lungs. They're not confident they didn't break something, but they're still alive, or at least, they're pretty sure they are. They tilt their head to say something to Gabbro, their grinning face visible through their cracked helmet visor. Something witty, probably, or at least something reassuring. It never leaves their mouth.

Their ship, mangled from being bounced around against the island, plummets down at just the right angle. A broken landing strut goes clear through their chest, and there's a moment of unthinkable pain. They briefly hear Gabbro's horrified screaming through the radio, they see Gabbro's face contort in terror, something wet coughs out of their mouth, and Sanidine's world fades to nothing.

Unfortunately for Gabbro, theirs does not.

Nothing, nothing, prepared Gabbro for this. Watching Sanidine die was bad enough when they were dying together, in that blinding light. But this? Watching their fellow astronaut impaled by their own ship, their triumphant expression swallowed by shock, pain, and then nothing?

They stagger off the tornado shelter and collapse beside the lifeless body, hands shaking.

"Sani." They mumble, as though their new buddy might wake up just like that. They can't even free their body, they have no ship to take them home with, they're going to just have to decay on this starlight-forsaken island and they don't even know if this of all things will leave them truly alone when that awful heat returns.

Gabbro turns, wrenching their helmet off, and vomits off the side of the island. They're still curled against the ground, fists clenched, sobbing, when the flames catch them hours later.

The universe ends.

Chapter Text

This time, Sanidine wakes up with a ragged gasp.

Their hands fly to their chest, undoing the buttons of their flight suit and patting their scales. Smooth. The only scar there is old and faded, related to a childhood incident, just alongside their ribs. They pant for breath anyway, as though that metallic wetness might return at any moment, the pain that was so much clearer than the burning had been.

They'd died. Properly, not in some vaguely defined light that burned them away, but suddenly and violently and without warning. They remembered every second of it in excruciating detail. They wished so badly they could forget it. They wished so badly that they hadn't been in front of someone.

In front of Gabbro. Oh, stars. They had seen the horror on Gabbro's face, heard the way they'd yelled. One thought shines with clarity in their head, and they latch onto it with all of their strength. They have to get to Gabbro. They have to. Gabbro has to know they're alive, or whatever this counts as. Gabbro can't be alone after that. In truth, neither of them should be. Only one of them didn't have a choice in the matter.

Slate says something. They ignore them. Despite everything, they manage not to scream when Slate's hand grasps their shoulder. Tears roll down their cheeks, and they force themself to their feet, yanking their shoulder out from the shipwright's grip and nearly tripping over the slight lip the elevator platform created. Their throat tightens around a sob, and before Slate can stop them, they send the elevator skyward.

They almost make it to the top before the anger and fear push through their resolve, and they let out an agonized yell that half the village hears.

At the top, they force themself to walk past the landing struts to get to the lift. Don't think about it. Don't remember it. Focus on your friend. Get to Gabbro. Do what you have to do before you fall apart completely. Only you can do this.

For the first time, Hornfels radios Esker and asks them to track the departing ship. Do not let the hatchling out of your sight until they reach a planet, and do not let them leave it without telling us where they're going. Something's wrong with them.

Sanidine listens in on the frequency, their hands piloting automatically. They know the motions at this point, know exactly where to expect Giant's Deep to be. They don't even engage the autopilot. Not piloting means not focusing, and not focusing means they can think about literally anything else. Besides, the autopilot is slow- the ship can go so much faster if they burn the engines themself instead of coasting the way the autopilot wants to.

They arrive at the campsite island in record time, and don't even wait for the engines to shut off before they stumble out of the ship and sprint to Gabbro's side. Gabbro hasn't even hung up their hammock, just standing motionless beside the fabric, and Sanidine stops just within reach.

"G. Gabbro?" They stammer, afraid their voice will betray them and give out at any moment.

Gabbro turns their head. The two stare at each other behind their visors.

"Sani?" They whisper, just loud enough to be heard. Their voice sounds as hoarse as Sanidine's does.

"I'm sorry." Sanidine manages to say, before sobs claim their voice. The younger Hearthian throws themself into embracing Gabbro, and Gabbro drops to their knees as they catch them, clinging tightly and heaving with sobs as well.

The pair crumble into each other's arms. There's nothing more they can say, and nothing more that needs to be said. It was one thing to get absorbed by the light, burning away together without having to see the actual act. But to die suddenly and helplessly, watching the dawning terror on the other's face, or to watch horrified as the other's life is ripped away by sheer chance...

Neither of them ever expected this. Neither of them ever prepared for it, for what little it would've mattered. They hadn't even been that close before, just vaguely friends who tended to have different core interests other than space exploration. And now they're the only ones who even seem to realize time is passing.

They're exhausted, hours later when they finally manage to separate, drained in a way that surpasses emotion and weighs down their souls instead. They silently pull each other to the fireside and slump there, taking off their helmets and quietly shaking out their ears. Gabbro sets to work on fishing out a can of marshmallows from their supplies, while Sanidine produces two good marshmallow sticks from their own pack.

"I thought," Gabbro starts to say, after they're good and settled. Pauses, clears their throat. They sound horrendous, but they probably both do, and they try not to worry about it. "I thought you were. You know. Actually gone."

"I thought I was too." Sanidine says. They place a hand over their chest, closing their eyes for a moment. "And, you know, that was bad. But the way you looked at me as it happened, I was so much more afraid of having hurt you like that. I didn't mean-"

Gabbro grabs that hand, pulling it away from Sanidine's chest and holding it tight. "Stop, Sani."

Sanidine's eyes open wide, and they try to read Gabbro's expression. It's hard. At this point they both mostly just look tired and worried for each other.

"That wasn't your fault." Gabbro says. They squeeze Sanidine's hand for emphasis. "That was... stars above, that some kind of messed up. But it wasn't your fault. You didn't hurt me, on purpose or otherwise."

It's hard to think about. Sanidine could've been more careful. They should've stayed put, or been paying more attention in the first place. They were reckless, and Gabbro suffered for it, and they aren't sure how to deal with that.

But the way Gabbro looks when they say it gives them pause. They're not judging them, not secretly angry. Just relieved, tired, worried. They've seen that look before, when they were still a truly young hatchling. Their ears droop further in recognition.

Sanidine nods once, trying not to drop their marshmallow into the fire. Even a burned marshmallow might knock the legs out from under them again, and there's something about the way Gabbro looks at them that gets them thinking. They need to focus on that, find the emotional effort to even bring it up. "Fine. All right."

Gabbro sighs, and doesn't let go of their buddy's hand. They're about to say something to change the subject when Sanidine clears their throat.

"But the same goes for you." They say, voice wavering a little. "You couldn't have caught me in time. I saw the field. You were being held there, weren't you?"

Gabbro's breath catches in their throat. That's hardly fair. This hatchling isn't supposed to read them back. They're Gabbro, the weird one who makes art and naps on the tornado planet. At least, they're supposed to be. But then, Sanidine is supposed to be the hatchling who grew up dreaming of being an even better Feldspar, of solving the mysteries of the Nomai where nobody else ever could. They're supposed to be a force of nature, a dynamo of positive, can-do attitude, from what Gabbro recalls. And the both of them just spent an extended period of time trying to keep the other from completely disintegrating under the weight of, what, the third time they died in less than two days?

"Huh." Gabbro says, after they find their footing mentally again. "Hornfels said you were clever, but not that kind of clever."

Sanidine grunts, retrieving their marshmallow straight into their mouth. They chew it thoughtfully, swallow, and reach for another. "I sort of learned how people get from Gossan and Hornfels."

"Gossan and Hornfels?"

"After Feldspar... left, I did some real stupid stuff. Got pretty badly hurt one time." Sanidine grimaces as they pierce the marshmallow, remembering the incident that had nearly cost them their future as a pilot. "When I was in bed, Gossan would look at me the same way you just did. I finally asked Hornfels about it, and Hornfels explained how sometimes, people feel responsible when you get hurt, even if they couldn't have kept it from happening."

Gabbro sighs, pulling their own marshmallow back. They'd been in training, at that point. They remembered all too well what it'd been like to learn about Feldspar. They'd done their own brand of stupid, back then, and they were very personally aware of what their disappearance had done to Gossan. It didn't surprise them at all that Sanidine had reacted badly, too. They hoped it wasn't the same kind of badly they'd fallen into. "Of course."

"I guess I didn't really get it until now." Sanidine says, their hand shaking as they lower their new marshmallow to the fire. "But that's what all this is, really, isn't it? If I'd just wound up in a different spot, or if you'd just moved faster. Nevermind that the ship landing there was a one in a million chance. Or that you were being held by some weird Nomai forcefield."

"Hah." Gabbro shakes their head, their marshmallow joining Sanidine's. Two shaky sticks. An apt metaphor, they think. "Look at you, all introspective."

Sanidine snorts, almost derisively. "I guess dying enough times in one day does that to you."

"Not the best way to learn things, I reckon." Gabbro says, and they try to sound thoughtful.

"I'm right, though. Aren't I?"

The two's eyes meet for a moment. Gabbro sighs from somewhere deep down. "I can't say you aren't."

"I mean, I did the same thing." Sanidine admits. "It's hard not to."

Gabbro takes another good look at their buddy. "We're probably going to do it again before this is over, aren't we?"

"Hope not. I mean, I know you're right, but I hope we find an answer soon." Sanidine pokes Gabbro's marshmallow with their own. "If we don't, though, then I guess let's try to catch each other when we're about to fall into all of this... stuff. Like we did this time. We're gonna get each other through this, agreed? Whatever it takes."

"Yeah. Agreed. Whatever it takes." Gabbro nods, pulling back their marshmallow, leaving a gooey trail connecting it to Sanidine's. For the first time since all this started, the pair simply sit with their fire for a moment, quiet in the wake of their newfound pact. Time and marshmallows pass. It's almost peaceful, despite the environment.

They finally rouse when a tornado threatens the island, pulling on their helmets and nodding to each other. They're too tired for panic, at this point. As the tornado slides ashore, they clamber into Sanidine's ship and take off.

No risks. Not this time through.

Sanidine's piloting puts them in orbit, on the nighttime side of the planet, and they watch the island fall back below before leaning back in the seat. Gabbro, meanwhile, prods at something on their computer.

Neither of them is sure what will happen, now that they're back in space before the awful heat catches up to them.

"Sani. Come look at this." Gabbro says, finally breaking their minutes-long silence.

Leaving the ship to slowly orbit, Sanidine gets up, causing Gabbro's ears to perk. The pilot steps into the back, leaning over Gabbro's shoulder. "Something worth reading? A note from Slate or whatever?"

Gabbro nods. "You'll see. Look."

They're rewarded with a sharp gasp from Sanidine, as the translator tool's output glows on the screen. The output that couldn't possibly have survived what happened to their ship.

"Gabbro." Sanidine says, quietly. "That's impossible."

"It's about the hundredth impossible thing we've seen since you landed that first time." Gabbro replies, just as quietly. "Let's just appreciate something going our way."

"Mm. Gabbro wisdom." Sanidine smiles. It's not quite a confident smile, but it's something. "Memory statue, huh? Can't say that answers many questions."

"No. But it's a start." Gabbro bumps Sanidine's head with their own gently. "Means the Nomai statues are definitely involved, instead of just another weird thing on the pile."

The pair are interrupted by the sun, cresting the edge of the planet. They turn, and both Hearthians gasp in unison.

Their sun has turned a sickly red, unrecognizable from the vibrant yellow-orange it should be. Its surface roils angrily, and jets of plasma arc from it in violent solar flares. To make matters worse, the sky around it is an unsettling black, the comfortable blanket of lights reduced to a handful of pinpricks suspended in the empty.

Sanidine takes a step toward the seat, putting their hand on it. "Stars, Gabbro. I don't think the statue did that! It was normal when I flew down to you!"

"I hope the statue didn't do that." Gabbro says, placing a hand on Sanidine's back when they catch their buddy trembling. Their voice is slow, despite the way the sight of the dying star carves a hole into their stomach. Sanidine can hear the way they breathe. They're both remembering that awful, instant burning, the oppressive heat. This explains so much, and is so much more terrifying than anything they might've imagined. "Hey. Whatever's about to happen, first thing you do, you come get me. We'll figure it out from there. Together, like you said."

Sanidine squeezes the chair gently. Already, they almost faltered, and Gabbro's right there to catch them. Maybe they can make it out of this mess after all. They breathe deep, then lean back into the taller astronaut. "Together. Thank you, Gabbro."

"Heh. Thank you, Sani." Gabbro says, leaning against the frame of the ship, letting Sanidine's weight settle.

The ship doesn't finish another orbit before the end comes, as it was always going to. The two watch, transfixed, as the star collapses inward. Sani's hand finds Gabbro's again when the core of the star explodes. The implications of this new revelation- that the wave of death is hardly confined to Giant's Deep- are horrifying. They decide they can talk about it with Gabbro next time. "See you soon."

Gabbro squeezes their hand as the shockwave rocks the ship, sending that terrible rumbling through their bodies again. "You better."

The two Hearthians watch, dread sinking into their bones, as the supernova approaches. Neither closes their eyes.

The universe ends.

Chapter Text

Sanidine inhales as they open their eyes.

At this point, they're halfway to the elevator before the explosion above Giant's Deep finishes. Slate says something deeply unsavory about the abruptness of their movement, but Sanidine decides that if they ever manage to figure out what's going on, they can apologize to Slate then. It’s easier than looking at the shipwright’s face, knowing it’ll be covered in flames as soon as they blink.

They stop for a moment at their ship's landing struts, giving them a wary look. Then they sigh and pat the metal, leaning their forehead against it for just a moment. It only feels right. The ship is just a ship, after all, and physics are just physics. Perhaps because of that, they feel compelled to whisper "I forgive you. It wasn't your fault either."

Then they swing into the lift. They punch in the launch codes while half-dressed in their suit, and drop into their seat a little less heavily this time. No sobbing or screaming accompanies their hands landing on the controls that are already starting to feel second-nature. While confused, Hornfels doesn't see the need to alarm Esker about their newest astronaut, though they make a note to change the launch codes to something less easily guessed.

It's alarming, Sanidine reflects on the way to Gabbro, just how quickly they've adapted to those first thirty seconds. It's getting too routine. Wake up, ride the elevator, board the ship and blast off. The launch codes are muscle memory already, and they could probably operate the elevator blindfolded.

They don't like it. The motions of leaving home should never have had a chance to become so easy, especially not after repeating them only a handful of times.

Giant's Deep, too, feels different now. Familiar in an uncomfortable way, like the fangs of an animal that bit you in the past. They don't have to enter its atmosphere this time, their signalscope leading them to an awkwardly suborbital Gabbro near an awkwardly suborbital island. They get an idea, and for the first time, they feel a horrible thrill at the realization that even if it fails, even if it goes horribly wrong, the two of them will still wake up again. They don’t have time to be terrified of that thrill. With deft movements, Sanidine brings the ship in as close as they dare, then unlatches their harness and heads for the hatch.

"Gabbro!" They call into the radio, dropping out of the ship and grabbing the same strut that had punctured them not long ago. They extend their hand. "C'mon! My turn to catch you!"

"Sani?" Gabbro laughs incredulously. They lower their flute and grab their jetpack's controls, and as the island starts to fall away behind them, they boost just high enough to catch Sanidine's hand.

The pair secure the hatch together, then remove their helmets, laughing together and shaking their heads to loosen up their ears. It feels like it's been a lifetime since either of them were even capable of laughing so deeply,  especially after the last time through the cycle. In truth, they both know their situation has barely improved, but the daring 'catch' from low orbit is just too ridiculous, risky, and downright unnecessary. What can either of them do but laugh?

Gabbro's the first one to collect their composure, and they wipe their eyes. "You're out of your stars-dazzled mind."

"We both are." Sanidine replies, around a few remaining giggles. They clear their throat, then give Gabbro a tired smile. "I needed a laugh like that, though."

"I know, right?" Gabbro returns the smile warmly. "After last time, I thought I might not remember how to. And wouldn't that be tragic?"

"Truly the most tragic thing in the universe, a Gabbro who doesn't laugh." Sanidine says. They press their palms to their lower eyes for a moment, then stand up a little straighter. "Worse than a thousand exploding suns."

"Truly moves the soul to sorrow, doesn't it?" Gabbro sighs, then looks out the cockpit.

Sanidine knows what they're looking at already, but they peer out as well just because. The sun looms, an ominous time-bomb the two astronauts simply cannot ignore forever.

"It's starting to hurt less already." They say, and they wish they didn't mean it.

Gabbro watches the sun a moment longer, then reaches out and simply touches Sanidine's arm. "I know."

"It shouldn't be. It's a supernova. I shouldn't be getting accustomed to dying from an exploding star." Sanidine grits their teeth for a moment. "Neither of us should."

"Sanest thing you've said this time around." Gabbro says, and they glance at the handily placed paper map of the solar system beside them. "We should decide what to call these. They aren't long enough to be days. I think."

"Cycles? Loops?" Sanidine offers. "Our own personal void-betweens?"

"Bit long. We'll call them loops." Gabbro decides. "Because it's more fun to say than cycles. Feels more round in your mouth. And if we don't find little things that are a bit fun, we're both actually going to go crazy."

Sanidine wonders if the fact that what Gabbro's saying about words makes sense should worry them. They wonder if Hal would know a better word than 'circular'. Maybe, once the whole ordeal is over, they can ask about it. They try not to follow their train of thought to its natural conclusion, the explosion consuming their friend, and instead stare pointedly at the map beside Gabbro. "Works for me. Right now, we need a plan. Any ideas?"

"Well, you're probably sick of Giant's Deep right now." Gabbro observes.

They don't need a response, Sanidine knows this, but they give Gabbro a curt nod anyway.

"Honestly? I never thought I'd say this, but after everything that's happened there over the last couple loops, I am too." Gabbro admits. "So we can go back later. I vote we go poke around that big Nomai wreck that falls apart at the beginning of each loop this time."

"You think it's even intact enough? I don't think I can land on space debris." Sanidine asks, but they're already sitting down at the controls.

"I think if there's no room for the ship, we just did something way dumber than a regular spacewalk." Gabbro says, leaning on the pilot's seat as the ship begins moving again.

"True."

The remains of the Nomai structure swing into view, imposing in their own way. Three massive pieces of intricate architecture, each one much larger than anything the Hearthians had put into space. Gabbro once theorized, very publicly, that it was a kind of floating art installation. Given the statues, Sanidine couldn't help but dread having to admit that might've been partly right. It'd be nice if Gabbro could get a little boost, but they'd be insufferable about that for a while given how Hornfels had torn into the idea.

Gabbro had simply tuned them out at the time, letting the founder go off in front of Hal, Sani, and half the Venture's travelers. Thinking back to that moment, Sani wonders if Gabbro was ever truly that unflappable, or if they simply acted like they were. They wonder if they'll ever see Gabbro maintaining that unreadable calm again.

Shaking free of their memories, Sanidine guides their ship around the smallest two chunks of the tumbling structure. Their lattice-like frames have no secrets to hide from the two explorers, as intricate and beautiful as they might be. They turn their attention to the final piece, and their eyes narrow.

This, they reason, must be the base of the structure. It's by far the largest, and the most solid, and as they coax the ship into a trailing orbit behind it they can see what looks for all the world like an interior. Nearby, there's the same style of glowing platform that they avoided on Giant's Deep.

"Hey Gabbro." Sanidine says, glancing over their shoulder at their passenger. "Have you done any real spacewalks or training lately?"

Gabbro shakes their head, reaching for their helmet and pulling it on. Sanidine smiles at that. "Nah. But I did have to catch some rookie astronaut out of zero-g when they blew their landing not too long ago."

Sanidine snorts, returning their attention to the ship's controls. They'd been preparing to ask if Gabbro trusted them on a Nomai hunch, almost out of habit. Between their earlier acrobatics and Gabbro's lack of hesitation in getting ready, they decide it's probably not really necessary. "Should be fine, then."

They bring the ship in closer, rotating it so that its landing struts are mostly lined up with the glowing platform. They're trying to ease it onto the surface when the entire ship jolts sideways, and they release the throttle and stare at the landing camera's instruments as the ship seems to bring itself down instead.

Sanidine smacks the release on their harness and whips around, nearly leaping out of their seat. That motion was too violent to assume anything, and although they're well aware by now that they can meet up again next loop if something goes wrong, their concern still outweighs the knoweldge. "Gabbro! Are you okay?!"

Gabbro did lose their footing, and they're sprawled against the reactor casing on their back. They'd been considering simply staying there for a minute while their buddy got the ship under control, maybe soak up some of the reactor's warmth before stepping outside into the void. But upon hearing the anxiety in Sanidine's voice, they push themself up and nod. "Yeah. Yeah! I'm fine. Really oughta ask Slate about those extra seats when we get out of this, haha!"

Sanidine sighs in relief, grabbing their helmet from the spot it rolled to near their chair. They pull it on, snapping the seals into place, then nod back a little too quickly. "Right. Yeah, of course. Let's go."

"Sani. Breathe." Gabbro says, gently. It's not a surprise that Sanidine is so worried, even after the revelations they've had. They never want to be the one left behind again, but they'll do it a thousand times if it means Sanidine never has to experience it once. Their hand catches Sanidine's wrist on the way to the hatch control, and they hold it for a moment before letting go. "I won't leave you to deal with this that easily. Not if I can help it."

Sanidine's hand shakes, and they clench their fist tightly, sucking air through their teeth. Gabbro's right, of course, and they know it, but for just a moment they'd been sure they'd spin around to see the gravity crystal embedded in the other Hearthian's chest, or worse, they'd find them injured and suffering but forced to sit out the rest of the loop in the confines of the ship, and in that moment the weight of their situation pressed in on their mind like a vice.

Deep breaths. They grasp the hatch control tightly, swallowing the fears they knew they didn't need to voice. "Thanks. Ready?"

"You bet." Gabbro says, and the pair drop out of the ship into the void.

The zero gravity cave back on Timber Hearth, with its mysterious ore and strange properties, still did little to convey the enormity of being on your own in space. Even with the surface of the landing pad underneath their boots, Sanidine still pauses for a moment to look out at the solar system from this angle. The sun's already turning an uncomfortable shade of orange, they notice, before the cannon slips back around the nighttime side of Giant's Deep. They turn their attention back to the surface they're on, resolving not to waste any more time, and crouch to look at the hole the ship is parked just off-center of.

Their investigation is interrupted by Gabbro on the short-range. "Hey, buddy. Something feels wrong with the sky."

"You sure you just haven't spent too much time under the clouds lately?" Sanidine asks, but they stand and turn to Gabbro, whose focus is on the field of black and stars around them.

"Well, no." Gabbro admits. "So I trust you to see whatever's actually out there. That's why I want you to look too. Really look."

Sanidine sighs, turning their focus outward, already certain they're not going to like this one bit. The void of space is so deep it feels like it might envelop them, and they have to quickly look away, unused to feeling so exposed when they stare at the sky.

But in that time, they've seen enough. They cross their arms, frowning. "I think I see it too. I'm not sure why, but it's too, too. Too dark, I guess. Emptier than normal."

Gabbro makes an uncomfortable sort of noise in their throat as they consider this. "Yeah, that sounds about like what I was thinking. That's probably bad."

"Probably." Sanidine agrees. They crouch next to the hole again, staring down into it at the other end. It looks, for all intents and purposes, not dissimilar to a hatch. It also looks like a welcome distraction from the terrifying extra darkness between too few stars outside. "Think we can not talk about it until next loop?"

"You know what, yeah." Gabbro says. They're turning to look and see what Sandine has found when they hear jetpack thrusters, and they spin just in time to see their buddy's helmet disappear down the hole. "Sani!"

Chapter Text

"I'm good!" Sanidine calls, steadying themself against the- well, they're absolutely certain this must be a hatch of some kind. "Come on down here! I think there's a way inside!"

Gabbro groans. It's probably not a good thing, they reflect on the way in, that Sanidine isn't the only one about to panic every time they think the other is about to get hurt.

Sanidine is focused on the mechanism. They've realized that direct eye contact makes the orb in its track light up, and they've noticed it move a bit when they do that. It's clearly on a track, but they dare not trigger the other end of it until Gabbro arrives. The way that yell sounded isn't hard to understand. They're both still raw, whatever they might tell themselves.

"What'cha got?" Gabbro asks, coasting to a stop behind them.

"Ball lights up and moves when I look at it." Sanidine demonstrates, sliding it partway along its track. "No idea how it's tracking my eyes past the visor, but I'm glad it can."

"Would be awful awkward if it couldn't." Gabbro observes. "Tried touching it?"

"Are you suggesting I touch the weird glowing ball when my eyes move it just fine?" Sanidine asks, and Gabbro can hear the grin in their voice. "That'd be dangerous. Anyway, of course I tried touching it. It didn't react. Only staring makes it move."

Gabbro grins back. "Maybe you just don't know how to move it right and it's being merciful."

"Maybe I should've left you on the ship if that's the best wisdom you've got this time." Sanidine says, then gives Gabbro their best overly dramatic mock-upset huff despite their continued grin. It's the emptiest of empty threats, and they both know it. "Brace yourself for whatever this does."

Upon getting an affirmative noise from Gabbro, they slide the ball into the end of the rail. Both of them startle bad when the structure begins to rotate, and for a moment Sanidine wonders if they've just made a terrible mistake. After all, the object they're attempting to get into has a nasty habit of exploding. Nothing says it can't do it again.

It takes them another moment to remember that even if it does explode, they'll wake up just fine, and somehow that's even worse. The hatch finishes rotating before they can chase that train of thought any further, and they push forward into the center of the ruin, one hand going to the translator at their hip.

Three paths. Sanidine tries not to think about what might happen if the cannon somehow reactivates, tries not to wonder if the forces would kill them before the sun did. Instead, they boost toward the pathway on the left, and Gabbro follows, peering over their shoulder as the translator's lights dance. 'Probe Tracking Module'.

"You have a spare of those you can grab before you swing out here, next time?" Gabbro asks, glancing at the hatch again. Next time is going to come sooner than either of them would like, at any rate. Might as well ask.

"I wish." Sanidine mutters, kicking off the wall. The path is a bust anyway, the mangled tube leading to the void once again. They try not to feel bitter about the feeling that if they only had more time, it's not like Hal couldn't reproduce the thing. The path with one pip on it, next. Going out of order feels like their own personal rebellion against their circumstances, but they don't voice that to Gabbro. As satisfying as the idea is, it's still very hatchlingish, and they're not quite that young anymore.

'Control Module'. The path looks clear. They look over to the third path, unable to see into it from here, and then back at Gabbro. "I don't know if we have time to check out both, and we sure as the void is dark aren't splitting up. Which one?"

Gabbro taps their helmet thoughtfully. Ordinarily, when trying to choose between two equal options, they would leave it to chance. Find a flat stone, nock one side with a knife, and flip it into the air. Spin their flute on the ground and see where it winds up pointing. Once, they wrote their choices down on a piece of paper and got Riebeck to choose one blindly. This method of asking the universe for its opinion hasn't let them down yet, but none of their ideas for it will work here.

Briefly, they consider spinning Sanidine and seeing what they're facing more when they right themselves. The idea is amusing, and Sanidine would probably see the humor in it eventually, but it'd also be a good way to get smacked with a marshmallow stick anyway. They stuff the idea into the back of their head for a later occasion and boost past their buddy into the single-pip connecting tunnel. "This one. Let's go."

Sanidine doesn't need to be told twice. They hit their jetpack controls and follow Gabbro, slowing a bit to marvel at the glass. It has a kind of etched tessellating pattern to it, as intricate as it is beautiful, and yet it's held up so well that even the destruction of the rest of the platform hasn't managed to damage it. Intact Nomai glasswork is just about unheard of. They could show this to Hal and Hornfels and the three could write an entire book on just one pane of it.

The sight of the sun's boiling surface in the distance somewhat ruins their appreciative mood, and they accelerate after Gabbro, muttering nonsensical curses to themself. They manage to avoid bouncing into the other astronaut, instead zipping past them and bouncing off the wall gently. On impact, they let out a completely undignified, squeaky "Guh."

Gabbro startles briefly at the sight, then wheezes, laughing hard enough they have to put a hand on the wall to stay steady. That noise.

"Shhhut." Sanidine says, their face and ears hot, before triggering the door themself and pushing Gabbro through at an angle.

The pair coast and turn together for a second, Gabbro starting to get their laughter under control. Sanidine decides they're not going to let this one go over the course of just one loop. Before they can take in much of the room, they drop, and the smaller Hearthian finds themself on their back again. This time, instead of their spaceship, the only thing landing on their chest is Gabbro. Their suit helpfully informs them that the atmosphere is breathable, and its tanks hiss as they refill.

The pair lay like that for a moment, stuck to the floor by the gravity paneling. Both of them are a bit too startled to make any sudden moves. Ultimately, Gabbro reacts first, and they do so by simply rolling off of their buddy with a groan.

"You know, Sani, things fall a lot around you."

Sanidine grunts, sitting up. "Says the one whose island kept falling out of orbit."

"The island does that whether I'm there or not." Gabbro shrugs, before also sitting up.

Sanidine doesn't have a snappy comeback for that yet. Rather than admit Gabbro's got a point, they look around the Control Module. The room almost looks like it would be nice to hang out on, if it weren't for the current state of the rest of the structure. The glass that runs the length of the outer wall is that same textured design that they noticed before, and the soft light of the gravity tiles is actually quite pleasant to look at.

They try not to worry about the fact that it also exists on the ceiling, for the moment.

The most important thing in the room is, they figure, probably the massive pool of what looks for all the stars like liquid gold that's built into the floor. They stand, walking over to the latticework track that runs around the edge of its outer half, staring down into the substance below. It's some kind of viscous something, and Sani briefly wants to see what it feels like, left hand rubbing the seal of their right glove pensively at the intrusive thought.

Gabbro squints at them, getting to their feet as well. The hatchling is too quiet. Something's up in that head of theirs. "Sani?"

"Euh. Sorry." Sanidine shakes their head, letting go of their wrist. "Just, kinda got lost in my head for a second. You have any idea what this stuff is?"

Gabbro sighs. They walk up to Sanidine and peer over their shoulder at the pool of stuff. "Nope. By my estimate, that's too thick to be something for these plants. Much as I'd like to think it could simply be aesthetic, that doesn't seem likely. Fuel source, maybe?"

"In their control center?" Sanidine wonders. "Doubt it. I thought at first it might get pumped in these pipes for some reason, but they're not pipes, really, just more lattices."

"Hm."

Gabbro turns to look at the track. The sun looms outside, and for a moment they feel sick again upon seeing it.

Sanidine's mouth feels dry, but they make themselves turn to look. They reach for Gabbro's arm, gently grasping the older Hearthian's suit sleeve. "Stars, I hope we don't ever get used to this. No matter how long this takes."

"Yeah." Gabbro says, softly. The thought makes their heart ache for both of them. Even with all their time on Giant's Deep, the sun has never been anything but a joyful thing to see when they come up for air. They force the pain back and look down at the track again, lifting their brow when they see and hear one of those door orbs activate. "Well. We're not close to done yet. Let's make the most of it."

Sanidine nods, watching the orb lift into the track proper. It's larger than the door orbs, brighter, but seems to be working the same way. They move, and Gabbro guides it along to the first drop, closing their eyes to let it fall in.

Both of them startle as a hum echoes through the room. Sanidine audibly gasps when the fluid in the pool starts to animate, and then sprints to the edge when it begins to levitate, despite Gabbro's best attempt to grab their arm. "Void take me, Gabbro! Are you seeing this?!"

Gabbro makes an affirmative noise somewhere between a hum and a groan. They catch up to their buddy and take a good grip of the hatchling's arm, pulling them back from the edge of the pool. "Oh, trust me, I am. Better view from back here. Won't fall in, either."

Sanidine wants to protest, but Gabbro is right about the view, and after a moment longer words fail the pair of them at the intricacy of the display. The two watch as a model of the structure they stand on- intact- forms on the right, and on its left, something neither of them recognizes at all. The spherical object's bizarre towers and broad-tipped spires almost look organic, but the arrangement of them is far too ordered for that. Arrows point from the object on the left to the structure, and it rotates seemingly randomly. Then it shatters into three familiar shapes, and Sanidine gasps.

"I've seen this! Every loop!" They exclaim. "Just, normally it's very far away, with that flash of light obscuring it! This is how this thing falls apart!"

"So it knows how it breaks. I suppose a control center would keep track of that." Gabbro muses. They turn to the object on the left, not letting go of Sanidine's arm just yet. "Then we have this thing."

"That..." Sanidine stares at it. Elements of it look vaguely familiar, but there's nothing solid coming to mind, and they frown behind their face plate, more out of confusion than frustration. "I have no idea what that is."

As though on cue, there's the sound of stone sliding against stone. Three rings drift up from a spot near the track, and on the top two, Nomai script begins glowing. Sanidine looks back at it, then up at Gabbro, who shrugs and releases their arm at last.

They damn near pounce over to the circles, fumbling for a second with their pack before producing the translator tool once again. The despair they'd just felt is pushed aside by an intense curiosity. It's almost enough to make them forget for a moment.

Gabbro decides they're fond of seeing this side of Sanidine. The same side that came to Giant's Deep and sat for what felt like hours, talking about poetry that moves and Nomai statues. The side that, they suspect, pushed Hal past failure after failure to create the miracle of technology in their hands. They cross their arms and lean on the next stop in the track, smiling slightly until the orbit and rotation of the platform brings the sun around behind their buddy.

They look away quickly, trying not to let the image of the excitable young Hearthian silhouetted by that deepening orange light settle in their mind. It does anyway, and they want to scream at the sun for its cruelty, for not even letting them see the hatchling doing what they were so obviously born to do for one second without trying to destroy that moment as well. Even with their helmet on, Sanidine is staring at them. Did they vocalize something? Did their stance let something slip?

Sanidine, though, is staring at Gabbro's hands. They slide the translator into their pouch and take the two steps over to the other astronaut, grabbing those shaking fists and holding onto them, trying to make them steady through sheer force of will. "Hey. Talk to me, Gabbro."

Gabbro's eyes widen, and they inhale sharply. "What?"

"Talk to me, Gabbro. You're shaking. And don't lie to me, either." Sanidine insists. "Remember? We're in this together."

Gabbro's mouth opens, and that anger twists in their gut, an ugly thing. They know it's not reasonable, but the last time someone could pick up on that disgusting anger in them so easily was... Chert. Right after Feldspar. The last time they'd felt so angry, while the cosmos took someone with so much more life to live. They'd almost given up their flight training, almost done things they would regret.

Chert had stopped them. The same thing, their void-damned hands shaking, giving them away. They'd learned to meditate to handle the things they had trouble communicating their feelings on, at Chert's suggestion. Chert themself got nothing out of the exercise, but they'd read a book on it once, and they thought it was the perfect fit for Gabbro. After seeing the look on Chert's face when they asked why they missed a training session, they would've done anything to make that worry go away. Meditation just happened to be useful, as well.

"I'm fi-" they start to say, and Sanidine yanks on their wrists, bringing their helmet down the few inches to bring them faceplate to faceplate. They can see the hatchling's face through the tint at this angle, and their eyes are staring straight into Gabbro's. For a moment, there's an intensity there that almost reminds them of the way that Feldspar would talk about their next great hurdle.

They wither,and shake their head. "You're a menace, Sani."

Sanidine barks a laugh. It sounds hoarse and more than a little bit forced. "Too bad. You're stuck with me. So talk."

"Fine. I'm angry." Gabbro says. Sanidine doesn't back off, and they sigh. "It's. Not a good anger. I thought I was past it. But seeing you, and the sun behind you like it's going to smother you, I..."

Sanidine lets them trail off, then sighs, leaning into the helmet-to-helmet contact. Their voice is soft. They almost sound ashamed of something. "I know what you mean."

"Mm." Gabbro acknowledges. They're not sure, but somehow, they suspect Sanidine actually does, and that thought makes their heart ache almost as much as the sight of the sun had. "I hope not."

Sanidine squeezes gently, then releases their wrists. "Yeah. I hope not too. But if it's anything like what I do know, then, you know. I'm here. To talk about it. I’m not great at that, but I don’t think anyone else is gonna understand right now."

"Thanks, Sanidine." Gabbro sighs. They're not used to this anymore, to having someone to talk about it with, but as tiring as it is emotionally, they do feel better. "What's the translator got?"

Sanidine nods, stepping back over to the rings and refocusing the lenses. Their eyes scan over the message three times before looking to Gabbro. "Something's telling it to fire."

Gabbro nods slowly. "The other object, there. Spiny thing."

"Yeah, that's my guess. Says it received a signal from something called an Ash Twin Project, but it's not sure how long ago. I think the chronometer here's a bit busted." Sanidine inhales deeply. Exhales. Tries not to think about the sun casting long shadows across the room. "Move the orb to the next one?"

"On it." Gabbro says. The orb moves as smoothly as last time, and both of them turn to watch the pool, hearts pounding. Knowing they can come back, easily, isn't actually making that unseen clock any less stressful at the moment.

The liquid-metal melts back into the pool, and it takes an agonizing few seconds before it reappears, forming into the shape of the intact structure on a larger scale. The Hearthians watch as the probe goes rocketing out, almost too fast to make out its shape. The "barrel" of the cannon begins disintegrating before the probe has even make it out of the view, and the simulation even manages to display the clouds of fine debris and powdered stone that accompany each piece breaking. A few pieces drop away from it, disappearing entirely.

Sanidine inhales deeply again, then moves to the next set of rings. The light from the dying sun nearly manages to catch their eye with a particularly intense solar flare. They try very hard to ignore it, because, they think, it doesn't matter. What matters is what's in front of them. The thought of the imminent destruction of every soul they've ever loved and every planet they've ever longed to see not mattering is almost more upsetting, and they're grateful when the discs light up again to get their mind off the topic, not ready to confront what that means yet.

Gabbro watches the sun distrustfully until Sanidine starts talking. The hatchling's voice sounds rough. The older Hearthian wonders if they've had any water since waking up. They realize after a moment that it's likely neither of them have, but Gabbro at least drank some just before the loops began, meaning the dryness of the suit-tank air doesn't bother their throat nearly as much. Wetting your throat before suiting up and talking for an extended time is a trick they learned from Chert on their own launch day, born of the older astronaut's prior experience on Ember Twin. Another thing to discuss with their buddy later, they suppose.

"Alright." Sanidine clears their throat, wincing. "They called this the Orbital Probe Cannon. Guess they weren't super creative with names, or the translator's missing some context. The missing module, that probe tracking module we noticed was gone, it says it's receiving data from their probe. Whatever their probe is doing, at that speed."

"Unless they're trying to slam it into something, it can't be anything too involved." Gabbro shrugs. "Anything else useful?"

"Not really. Last slot?"

The pair move together, and Sanidine leans against Gabbro for a moment while waiting for the text to appear. They take a breath to steady themself before stepping forward to focus the device on the new set of rings. The metal shifts into a close-in view of the base of the cannon, showcasing the impressive damage it sustained.

Sanidine scans each set of rings, then shakes their head. "Nothing new. Tracking module's missing, this module's fine. Mentioned the other one is exposed to vacuum, but we have spacesuits."

"Well, we learned what to call this thing, and we know what it's doing now." Gabbro says. "That's something. And, there's that stuff in the middle, which is totally going home with me when we manage to get out of this."

"You can keep it, but I want at least a little cube or something to mess with. Anyway, as cool as all of that was, I don't think it's as helpful as I was hoping." Sanidine admits, before looking away and letting out a dry cough. Ow.

"Not on its own." Gabbro says. They reach for their buddy's shoulder, squeezing it before pointing up at the ceiling. The cough is concerning, but it's probably just thirst, and at worst that won't matter at some point here. "You got a little more in you?"

The hatchling looks up. The gravity floor is one thing, but there's also an indent in the center with two odd pedestals. The free-standing wall is suspicious, too, along with its own pedestal set.

They get up with a nod, sliding the translator back into its pouch. One hand grips their jetpack control. "Ready when you are."

Chapter Text

"Alright. Soon as I let go." Gabbro says. They line up to land on the opposite gravity panel, and the two accelerate upward, jetpacks flaring.

Sanidine lets out a hoarse yelp as the direction of gravity inverts suddenly, and they cut their jetpack out of reflex, landing only a little roughly. Even theoretically expecting it, the sensation is really not a particularly enjoyable one, especially on their stomach and inner ear.

Gabbro... does not remember to cut their jetpack. They wind up inverting again and land back where they started, and for a moment the two stare at each other from their respective sides of the room.

Even with their throat absolutely killing them, heh killing them, even with the weight of the supernova on their mind, Sanidine manages to snicker. "Nice job."

Gabbro groans. The rapidly inverting gravity is bad enough, but now the hatchling is getting to sass them for their mistake. They wave their hand in the air dismissively and lean against the latticework track again. "Yeah, yeah. Take a look around. I'll be back up once my stomach settles again."

Sanidine wants to say more, to properly tease Gabbro, but a glance at the sun makes them relent. Despite it doing very little to actually shield them, when the probe cannon slips behind Giant's Deep once again they feel some of the tension lift from the back of their mind. They turn to the nearby wall.

It seems important somehow, with the two pedestals and its exceptionally smooth surface. There's a small bench beside it, and Sanidine walks up to it, peering down at the object that got left behind there.

That's new. The Hearthians hardly have an extensive catalogue of Nomai relics, but they don't even have a frame of reference for this thing yet.

Still, they're smart enough to figure this one out, Sanidine reasons. They pick the stone up gently, running their gloved thumb over its surface, feeling the small etching that's creating the glow catch against the padding. Its shape is so distinct, and their eyes already flit back over to the pedestals. Distinct and recently familiar.

Gabbro arrives just as they press the stone down into the waiting slot. Whatever either is about to say on landing is lost, both Hearthians watching as the pedestals rotate to lock with each other. The wall comes to life with that familiar spiral script, glowing invitingly, and Sanidine scrambles to pull out the translator once more.

Names glow into focus, suddenly becoming all too real. Cassava, Avens, Privet, Mallow, Daz. Nomai who worked here, discussing an issue with the... the Cannon's power source? No. Maybe? It's too nonspecific, given the thing is firing now. The Nomai discussing what that meant for them. Discussing an Idaea who may have felt responsible for the failure. Sanidine's heart aches for these names they'll never put faces to.

They re-read the text a couple of times, while Gabbro takes a moment to look around. Another stone like that over there, at what is unmistakably a table. It's quite a nice table, though a bit oddly geometric. Speaking of odd, they really haven't had a chance to inspect those trees yet, the trees that look so invitingly familiar despite clearly not being a species they're familiar with.

"Gabb-" Sanidine starts, and is interrupted by their own body, going into a coughing fit that threatens to knock them off their feet.

Gabbro's there before either of them processes what's happening, one arm around their buddy's chest to prop them up, the other hand trying to rub their back through the suit. In truth, they'd kind of been expecting this ever since they noticed the condition of Sanidine's voice, but it doesn't make it any more pleasant to witness. This feels like more of a reaction to the dry air than normal, but they can talk to Sanidine about their worries later. Right now, the hatchling just feels so small in their grasp, just like their body looked so small with their ship-

They try to stop thinking about this. It's not going anywhere pleasant.

Finally, Sanidine gets a handle on their coughing, and they hang from Gabbro's arm for a moment, breathing hard. Oh. That didn't feel great. Their chest aches, and at this point, there's a gross empty feeling developing in the pit of their stomach. "M'good," they rasp, pushing the feeling aside and willing themself to stand up straight again.

"No you're not." Gabbro sighs, but they let go. No time to fix it. It has to wait, for now. "What'd you find out?"

"It wasn't supposed to fire." They grimace, looking "up" at the floating display they'd left active. "The power source was broken, or a power source was broken. Probably not the one for this, but maybe that's why it's exploding?"

"Maybe. But why is it firing at all?" Gabbro wonders. They boost over to the table, retrieving the other stone, then soar back and offer it to Sanidine. "Try this one. And talk less."

Sanidine is about to protest, Gabbro can see it in the way they snatch the stone away. "Stop. I mean it. You sound awful, and if you lose your voice, then what am I going to do? Read it on my own? You and I both know that sounds an awful lot like research work, and I have a reputation to uphold."

The younger Hearthian stares at them for a moment, and Gabbro initially wonders if the joke didn't quite have the intended effect. Then they sigh, and there's a smile that carries with it, a lighthearted exasperation that beats the stars-forsaken void out of the actual offense they had been gearing up for.

Good.

Sanidine pops the currently-active stone out of the socket. The wall goes dark, the pedestals sliding apart once more. They quietly wonder if there's some internal circuitry that requires them to be connected. Riebeck might be able to figure it out. They were always the actual archaeologist, in contrast to the cultural and linguistic fixations shared by Hal and Sanidine. Briefly, they wonder if they should show some of this to Riebeck sometime.

Would Riebeck remember? With the memory effect seemingly tied to the statues, given the sparse translator log they and Gabbro had read, is it possible that someone else is trapped in this mess too?

Right. Time limit. They slot the new stone, align the translator, and start reading. Just another thing to investigate later.

A small part of them bitterly acknowledges that, whatever their feelings on the matter, they will apparently have plenty of later to use. They push that stars-forsaken thought as far down as they can, and try to forget they had it at all.

They refocus again. Avens and Mallow, having a conversation about the cannon. Sanidine smiles sadly at Avens calling Mallow their 'better 50 percent'. The Nomai's language has a charm to it even through translation that they can't quite describe, something that warms their heart. To know these two were together, that despite the differences between their species, these people also fell in love or something like it, warms it even more. Sure, Avens and Mallow are long gone, which makes the feeling a little melancholy. But to know they lived, to know they loved, makes them feel so much more real than the statuary and skeletons ever could.

Their smile grows as they read on. These two Nomai were playfully reckless. It reminds Sanidine of Feldspar and Slate, of the stories they'd heard when they were a young hatchling, instead of the really-an-adult "hatchling" they are now.

One phrase in particular stands out.

"Gabbro?" Sanidine rasps. "You ever hear of the Eye of the Universe?"

Gabbro is investigating the pedestals in the middle of the room, holding the other stone. They walk over, then shrug. "Nope. That some Nomai thing?"

"Yeah." Sanidine looks back at them. They're about to say more when Gabbro puts a hand on their shoulder.

"Explain next time." They say, firmly. "I don't want you to have another coughng fit."

There's not much to explain, and Sanidine wants to tell Gabbro that, but the fact of the matter is they can tell the other Hearthian is right. They kind of hate that, honestly, because they hate the idea of getting this far and then failing Gabbro anyway, even if the hunger pangs are getting worse and their lungs are starting to feel like sandpaper each time they breathe.

They make another of those irritated grunting noises and walk to the center of the room, giving the pedestals a quick look.

Gabbro accompanies them. Those grunts are more fun when they're not in response to simply reminding Sanidine to take care of themself, and they frown at the hatchling disapprovingly behind their helmet, but they can't keep the feeling of frustration alive for long.

It's not as though they were any different on their first launch. A younger Gabbro, every bit as infatuated with the beauty of the cosmos, having to be reminded to wear their helmet by Esker. They'd become too enraptured by the sight of the stars from the Attlerock's little campsite and almost wandered out of its protective pocket of air. Back then, they had been annoyed too, and even though they did their best not to show it Esker could somehow tell. That's a story they decide Sanidine never needs to hear.

"Hey." Sanidine says, just above a whisper. They reach over to touch the hand Gabbro is holding the stone in, then point at the pedestal slot next to them.

In hopes of taking their mind off why Sanidine's body is betraying them like this, Gabbro slots the stone. The two nearly leap out of the indent when that liquid-metal substance begins to pool around their boots, and Sanidine grabs Gabbro's hand during a brief moment of blind disorientation.

Then they're, they're on... Giant's Deep. Rain pounding, wind howling. Gabbro doesn't really recognize this island, and privately they curse their laziness at not having explored the planet more thoroughly in the time they were there. This appears to be a major find, a Nomai ruin that puts the statue island's scale to shame.

Gabbro's busy scanning the landscape, taking in its rough look, trying to remember if they even saw this island from the air. Sanidine, though, is focused on something else entirely. "We're not here."

"What?" Gabbro asks, blinking away the urge to verbally blame themself for not knowing where here actually is on Giant's Deep.

"We're not here." Sanidine coughs once, their body tensing around their abdomen. Slow breaths. They swear they can feel Gabbro's eyes boring into them, looking for the cause of their coughing, and they hate it so much that they force themself to stand up. "No raindrops. No wind. Too light."

Of course. Gabbro had gotten so caught up in things that they hadn't even realized it yet. Even two seconds on Giant's Deep is enough to cover an astronaut's visor with raindrops, and between the wind pushing you every which way and the planet's enormous gravity, just standing and moving around takes noticeable effort at first.

So is this place real? They wonder.

They don't have time to think about it. Sanidine begins coughing again, violently, and the hatchling clutches their chest.

Gabbro takes three decisive steps forward, pulling Sanidine along, and the vision disappears abruptly. The pair stand there, holding on to each other, while Sanidine's body shakes with their dry hacking. It takes more than a minute before the smaller astronaut can stop it, hanging half-limp from Gabbro's arms and gripping their suit with both hands, so tight their arms are shaking.

"I've got you." Gabbro says, quietly. They run their hand along the back of Sanidine's helmet. Coughing like that is rare, and they wonder why they haven't heard it in the previous loops they lived all the way through. If only they were still on Timber Hearth, Gneiss might at least be able to identify the cause. Porphy could make them some medicine. They've never felt more homesick in the few years since their launch day happened.

The module is still on the dark side of Giant's Deep. The sun is probably starting to look more red than orange, not that either of them can know for sure. The darkness outside is stifling. Space is so empty. The void-between-stars keeps growing as more of them seem to disappear before their very eyes, a sight that Gabbro is trying pointedly not to look at, as it becomes the void-without-stars.

Sanidine's breathing steadies, still rough, but regaining its rhythm. They get their feet under them, shaky though they are. They try to speak, and the noise they make is so quiet that Gabbro's hand goes to their helmet to turn up the suit radio in response, which makes the hatchling flinch. They haven't felt quite like this in ages. The darkness outside terrifies them in a way they could never possibly explain to anyone but Gabbro. The only person who might possibly understand is someone else who's seen that nothing staring back at them.

They want to get back to their ship. They want to go home.

"Gabbro," They say, speaking even that much straining their throat. "Ship."

They step back, and their hand finds Gabbro's, and the older Hearthian nods once. The pair hit their jetpacks and soar toward the exit.

A flurry of warning beeps alerts them to the fact that their pack is low on fuel. They glance at Gabbro, who catches the look and nods once. "I heard it too. We're fine. Plenty of time."

Sanidine nods back, and they grip the jetpack control, letting the gentle push of Gabbro's jetpack guide when and how much they apply. Through the airlock into the central structure, and they feel their abdomen tighten again, and void take them why can't they stop coughing. Gabbro has them again, and guides them toward the airlock leading back to the ship.

As soon as they're aboard, Sanidine twists free of Gabbro's hold and claws at their helmet seal, throwing it aside and staggering to the cache of supplies by the map. Gabbro watches, bending over to pick up the helmet and sighing as Sanidine retrieves one of the canteens of drinking water. Their hands are shaking too much to open the damn thing, and they choke on a cry of frustration, nearly throwing themselves into another fit before Gabbro grabs their arm.

"Sani." They say, firmly. "Let me help you."

For a moment, Sanidine wants to scream at them. Gabbro's helped them so much already, even just in this loop, and they should be able to drink some starlight-forsaken ration water without help. But even just breathing hurts so much, and their fingers can't stop Gabbro from taking the canteen even if they decide to try.

"It's not fair." They manage to rasp out, between labored breaths. Tears sting their eyes. They want to say more, but then Gabbro's kneeling there, and then the canteen is at their lips and they're trying to drink the water despite their feelings on the matter because at the end of the day they feel like they're drying out inside.

Gabbro watches the water dribbling down Sanidine's chin. "No, it's not. I know."

They set their jaw, teeth grinding. Whatever is afflicting their friend is certainly not fair, and they wonder how Gneiss let them into space when this was lurking in them. Then again, they hadn't had these problems before in the loops that let them both live to the end. Could it be something about the probe cannon? That liquid metal substance? That doesn't make sense either. Sanidine wasn't directly exposed to either of them.

Their thoughts are interrupted by Sanidine coughing again, turning their head away from the water bottle and trying not to choke. Gabbro sighs as they lower it, leaning to rub the young astronaut's back. "Just breathe, buddy."

The sun crests the arc of Giant's Deep again. It's properly red now, that sickly red that both of them hate so much. While Sanidine closes their eyes and tries to breathe, Gabbro stands back up and goes to the computer, tapping its screen a few times. Fancy. The log that was in their ship isn't nearly this nice, and the story goes that Feldspar launched the first time with just a spiral-bound notepad and a pencil.

They poke through the information the computer contains, memorizing what they can of the ship's characteristics. There. Default radio frequency. They'll need that at the start of the next loop. They briefly wonder if Sanidine even knows how to access this stuff back here. Maybe they'll show them at some point.

Sanidine manages to let out a quiet whine, and Gabbro pulls off their own helmet and gloves, going back to their friend. Sanidine's forehead feels hot. This is some kind of illness, something they must've picked up right before the loop, something-

Gabbro gasps softly. The camping trip. Normally, it's safe enough, but medical evaluation is always done before it happens. If Sanidine has contracted some kind of illness, or worse, this is an old recurring condition they covered up, that would explain everything.

It would also make things so much worse. But they can't worry about that now, so they take off Sanidine's glove and sit down beside them, holding their hand as reassuringly as they know how. It's not something they're used to, and they have to fight back the urge to grab the controls and just try to burn for Timber Hearth. Maybe they'd make it there with enough time left to get some answers, at least.

No. That isn't fair, wouldn't be fair, not to anyone. They can go back next time. They know what going back this far in means, what they'd be exposing themself and Sanidine to as the sun explodes. They can barely watch it happening to one other person. Watching Timber Hearth die, right now, would make them curl back up on Giant's Deep and slip away for a while into their meditative tricks and their flute and not having to see it.

They don't know what it would do to Sanidine. They don't want to, because they’re sure that Sanidine can already see it every time they wake up at home no matter how peaceful the early morning is there, and they can’t make that imagined apocalypse into a reality even once. They hope they’re never forced to.

Gabbro watches Sanidine's chest rising and falling. It's shallow, but their breathing is steady, at least. They put their other hand over their friend's as well, ears drooping so low they nearly touch the spacesuit's shoulders. It's a ridiculous series of events that brought them into this mess, that seems to enjoy taking every opportunity it gets to kick them somewhere new. To do this to the weird loner who dreams of quantum art and the ambitious, awkward young anthropologist who dreams of being the greatest explorer ever feels targeted, as much as Gabbro tries not to ascribe that kind of will to these things. Anyone else would've been better than either of them. But here they are.

"I don't know how awake you are, buddy," they say, quietly. "But I'm not letting go until the end."

Sanidine makes another quiet whining noise, but they put their other hand over Gabbro's. Their scales feel entirely too warm, but they're shivering, and Gabbro feels so cold, and stars they're so afraid in that moment, but at least they aren't alone, whatever their emotions on being so weak that Gabbro keeps having to step up.

The cockpit dims. Even through half-lidded eyes, blurred by tears and fever, they can tell the end is coming.

The rumbling of the shockwave crashes over and through them both, and it hurts in their chest, and they can't scream but they want to so badly, this body unable to move that much air at the moment or ever again.

They settle for using what energy they can muster to push themself forward, pulling their hands back to get their body moving so they can fall into Gabbro, and as the world starts to go white and their scales begin to burn, they feel the other astronaut's arms close around them without hesitation.

The universe ends.

Chapter Text

Sanidine jerks awake and upright, inhaling sharply. It feels like they've been crying already. Not a good sign.

"There's our pilot!" Slate begins to say. Their voice, the familiar words, it all makes Sanidine want to let the crying out. They'd hoped they would be fast enough not to hear it again.

They don't even pretend to look at Slate as they board the elevator. What would be the point? They ride the elevator up and board their ship again, falling into the chair heavily. One hand rubs their throat, then slides down to their chest. They breathe deep, then exhale slowly.

What was wrong with them last loop? And why does the idea that something is wrong fill them with so much dread?

They shake it off, reaching for the ship's main control board and flipping on the main power, ears flicking up and listening to the ship thrum to life. They don't have it in them to rush, this time. Something in them still feels so tired, after the effort it took to simply keep breathing before. Gabbro wouldn't have been okay if they had stopped, they were sure of it, and given how unfair everything was to Gabbro they weren't about to let that happen. The last little bit feels like a blur, though. At least it exists at all.

They close their eyes. The feeling of their friend's arms closing around them flickers through their mind.

It's so hard not to think about how much Gabbro deserves someone better, or at least stronger. The thought is insidious, creeping in at the edges of their mind. They try to focus on the conversation they had, back on the Giant's Deep beach. They clench their fingers against the ship's console, talking to themself. "Together." They insist, against that stabbing feeling of guilt. "We're in this together. No matter what."

"Who's in what together?" asks a voice they know all too well.

Sanidine can't help the yelp that tears out of their throat, and they scramble out of their chair, back to the console. There's Hal, arms crossed, head tilted to one side. Sanidine's ears drop, and they can feel the blood rushing to their face, and all of the words that they wish they could say are caught in their throat. The ship feels like it's freefalling underneath them. How long have they been sitting on the pad like this? Why didn't they just take off first?

"Sani?" Hal's voice wavers, suddenly sounding so unsure.

"Hal." Sanidine wheezes, trying to claw past the fog of panic. They can't let Hal know what they know. They can't. Why didn't they just leave while they had a chance to? "What are you doing here?"

"Slate got in touch with me and Hornfels. Said you went up to your ship already, and you looked..." Hal trails off.

Privately, Hal isn't sure how to describe the expression on Sanidine's face. Why do they look so tired? So afraid? And afraid of what?

Sanidine can't even begin to find the words. How long have they been sitting there for? Why weren't they paying attention to the time passing? They fumble behind them, and one hand hits the radio switch, and suddenly there's Gabbro's flute on the line that nobody ever uses. The one they've been grateful the ship defaults to, because at this point, hearing the others repeating conversations on the frequency would already just start to hurt, they think.

"Is that Gabbro?" Hal asks.

Sanidine just nods numbly. The ship won't stop spinning and there's a recurring vision in their head of Hal, consumed by the supernova, screaming their last over and over and over and-

The flute music stops.

Over on Giant's Deep, Gabbro has been waiting with their flute, playing into the radio. That last death, especially how things built up to it, was a bad one for both of them. Having an objective has kept them from collapsing into the sand and laying there screaming into their helmet, even if the objective is just 'contact Sanidine early'. They had tried to meditate, and found it impossible to let their mind drift, and they wonder which moment stole that part of them. They feel more cold and hollow than they thought they would when they aren't already talking to Sanidine before they get halfway into the Travelers' Song.

In no world, no time, did they imagine they'd hear Hal's voice over the line when Sanidine's ship finally tuned in. They reach up to their helmet and push the receiving volume a little louder, wishing for a moment they'd been trapped in this mess on a quieter planet. Normally, they remember to do that quickly so Sanidine won't notice them doing it.

Just another thing they forgot to do at the beginning of this loop.

Then they clear their throat, and steel themself as best they can. This is going to get complicated.

"Hal? What're you doing on this line?" They ask, trying to sound as even as possible. That's good. That's fine. That's better than 'get your starlight-forsaken hide out of Sanidine's ship and forget you ever boarded it', even if the latter would at least make sure Hal had no chance of getting dragged into things.

Sanidine lets out another wheeze, which comes through the radio and makes Gabbro flinch, and they hear a single footstep. "I'm checking on Sanidine, or I was, and- stars above, Gabbro, they're not even looking at me, they look like they're staring at a ghost, they're breathing so hard, I'm scared to touch them-"

Of course. Gabbro takes another deep breath. In, out. Let the fear wash away, or at least, let it subside enough to speak. They might not be able to meditate, but they remember the principles. They're almost certain they can't get Hal out of the ship at this point, not after seeing Sanidine in such a state.

"Sanidine? Can you hear me?" Gabbro asks, and they can't stop the worry from infecting their voice no matter how hard they try.

Sanidine manages to make a whining noise, and Gabbro takes this as a positive sign, but also a clear indicator that Sanidine's in no condition to pilot their ship across the void to Giant's Deep. They probably aren't even in a position to use the autopilot.

"Okay. Hal, I'm very sorry, but I have to ask you to do something you won't like." Gabbro says. The weight of what they're about to do settles into their gut, and they try to make themself okay with it. If they're lucky, Hal won't somehow run into a memory statue they didn't find yet out here and get caught in this awful cycle of awareness with them. If they're unlucky, Sanidine might never, ever forgive them.

The thought makes them want to shatter. But they can't. This is too important. They have to help their buddy, but to do that, they have to be with their buddy. From there, they can decide on a real plan.

"What- Gabbro, this- I should go get Gossan and Gneiss and-" Hal stammers, and Gabbro is aware they're about to lose them.

"First, I need you to trust me, like you would trust Sani. I know that's a lot. There's a reason I was on the frequency for their brand new ship, the frequency nobody but Sani and Slate would know. I need you to breathe, and calm down as best you can, and trust me and Sanidine to tell you what we can once everything's steady again. Then I need you to sit down and get that ship into the air."

Hal goes quiet.  

Gabbro wonders if that was the wrong thing to say. Their fingers drift across their flute, nervously picking out every spot the wood is starting to need varnishing, every notch, every imperfection that makes the instrument so perfectly theirs. Their stomach turns at the thought that they might be stuck here alone this loop, their ship having drifted out of sight already.

They exhale hard when they hear shuffling footsteps. Sanidine makes another audible wheeze, and they hear the sound of fabric on fabric.

They don't dare say a word, staring out at the ocean and its tornadoes with unfocused eyes. They don't know Hal any better than they knew Sanidine at first. But Sanidine trusts Hal so much that even Gabbro knows about the rumors and stories. And after how much of their soul Sanidine has had to see, how much of both of their souls are part of the other person now in so many ways, Gabbro trusts the hatchling in a way nobody else could ever understand. Recovering from death together, seeing the most terrifying visions they could imagine, remembering. They can only hope that Hal can sense even a little of that trust, and that it'll guide their friend to safe harbor.

They nearly collapse with relief when they hear the distinct thrumming of rocket engines. Thank the stars.

"I don't know what's going on." Hal says. They sound nervous. They're no pilot, Gabbro knows that, but they also know that Sanidine's ship is more than capable of getting them to Giant's Deep anyway. "And I'm going to need help getting there. But if you can help Sanidine with whatever this is, whatever's hurt them so badly, then I'll take them anywhere you ask."

"Thank you, Hal." Gabbro breathes, fingers curling against wet sand as they fall onto their back, the flute on their chest. "Control console has an autopilot in the map function. Find the little, the button with the little solar-system icon on it, and then pick Giant's Deep. Ship'll do the rest."

They can hear Hal pushing buttons, and then a soft gasp as the thrumming grows louder. That's Sanidine's ship alright, Gabbro muses. Not so unlike its pilot. Fifty gallons of rocket fuel in a ten gallon barrel, holding together only by the grace of starlight, and oh so fragile in such unexpected ways. "Faster than you expected?"

"What did Slate do to this ship?" Hal wonders.

"Hatchling, some things, you just have to accept you'll never know." Gabbro laughs. It sounds hollow and tired. They can't help it. They really do find Hal's amazement at Slate's skills amusing. "I'm not gonna get off the line. You tell me as soon as you're in orbit. Do not try to land it yourself, you understand me? Once we get them back to themself, we'll fill you in on things, or at least we'll try."

"Got it." Hal says. A moment passes. "Gabbro?"

"Yeah, hatchling?"

"Are they." Hal pauses. "Are you both going to be okay? You sound like they did. Like, I don't know what."

Ah. Gabbro probably should've expected the question. The fact that they didn't is frustrating. Have they really lost touch with how they sound to others again? It had taken them years to get the hang of that, of training their ear to understand what other people are hearing when they speak. Sure, Sanidine seems like they get it, but their conversations with Sanidine are a little more personal than normal. They hope they don't influence their poor buddy, or worse, that their poor buddy isn't more like them than they thought. The universe really only needs one person who's secretly as bad at being a person as Gabbro feels sometimes.

"I don't know." Gabbro closes their eyes. The admission feels heavy, their chest weighed down by what it means to say this out loud at all to someone who isn't Sanidine. "I really don't, Hal. What I know is that if you hadn't taken off like that, neither of us would be okay at all right now. How's Sani holding up?"

Hal glances back. Sanidine has holed themselves up next to the reactor, which Hal isn't convinced is safe but what do they know about ships, and is refusing to open their eyes. By the stars do they look pale, and honestly it's too upsetting to take in any more details, but at least they're not hyperventilating anymore.

"Well," Hal starts, frowning deeply as they return their attention to watching the ship's control display, "They're not, uh, making those awful noises anymore."

"It's a start." Gabbro says. Breathe in, breathe out. Sanidine will be here soon enough, and they'll figure out how to get them down to the surface, and then they can decide what to do about Hal, and everything will at least stabilize again. Stars, they need things to stabilize. They recognize, vaguely, that what Sani's going through is probably not that dissimilar to something Riebeck used to go through all the time. And they recognize that it's very hard to get someone out of that state when the thing causing it is right there in front of them.

They decide not to comment, ever, on how heartbreaking it is that Sani has been handling dying with more stability than this. They have no right, and they know it, but it does make them sigh a little bit to know how much Sani cares about their friend. "You mind if I play? I've got you cranked up, nothing's going to drown you out if you need me."

Hal considers this. Giant's Deep isn't too far away, but any path of conversation they want to bring up is just going to turn into worry about Sanidine and Gabbro, and Gabbro seems quite clear that they're not talking about that until after Sanidine is on Giant's Deep, for whatever reason. It's honestly incredible they got this far on Gabbro's word and Sanidine's rocket fuel, but if this is the kind of thing Gneiss could've patched up, or Hornfels could've explained, then surely Gabbro would've said so. No. Something else is going on here, something that's got the calmest person they've ever met and the person they would chase the mystery of the stars with hurting, bad.

They close their eyes, rubbing their face. "Go ahead. Maybe it'll help them calm down more. They love that song."

A moment later, Gabbro begins playing the Travelers' Song, and Hal rests their forehead on their hands, listening quietly. It's a beautiful song, both in parts and all together. They know that it's Sanidine's favorite music in the whole of the universe, and while they don't have quite the same raw affection for it, they've learned to love it because Sanidine loves it.

Through Sanidine, they saw the Nomai and the stars so much more clearly, and they learned to love them too, the way their friend loved them.

And now Sanidine's broken. That love, that excitement in their eyes is missing. Something hurt them, so badly that at the moment they're almost unrecognizable, weeping quietly by the beating heart of their ship. They don't know if flute music or Gabbro's odd, introspective wisdom can start to repair that, but they're hoping with all the strength they have in their soul that it can, because they want Sanidine back. Whatever it takes, whatever Gabbro asks, if it'll start to give them the Sanidine from the evening before back, they decide they'll agree.

That would be worth everything and more.

Chapter Text

Hal lifts their head as the ship's autopilot beeps twice, disengaging. There it is. Giant's Deep, the maelstrom of storms and ocean water that, somehow, Sanidine's well-being is tied to. They clear their throat and sit up in the pilot's seat, watching the Phantom Moon transit the planet just ahead of them. Awful close orbit, they think, but that moon never really seems to want to behave the way it should anyway.

Unimportant. They glance back at Sanidine, still huddled up against the reactor. They've been crying, silently but steadily, and it's been tearing Hal apart since they noticed it on the trip over. They look awful. The sight is a far cry from the eager Sanidine they'd bid good luck on their camping trip just the evening before. It's like a part of them was ripped out and seeing Hal just lit the frayed edges on fire.

It hurts to see. They turn back around and toggle the radio send back to open. "Gabbro? We're in orbit."

Far below, Gabbro stops playing their flute and gets to their feet. Despite spending their playing time trying to think, they don't really have a good plan for this. That's because, they reason, there really isn't one.

They look up at the roiling sky and grimace. They don't even really know which side of the planet they're on, and a miscalculation could leave Hal and Sanidine having to call for help as Gabbro slams into the planet again, and they don't want to think about what kind of condition Sanidine would wake up in then. Tornado riding is probably a bad idea, then.

It's not that they don't trust Hal to bring the ship down through the atmosphere. Honestly, any rookie could do that if they knew there wasn't a tornado in the way and weren't overcorrecting, and for better or worse Sanidine would survive whatever bumps Hal found to hit, largely thanks to the gravity crystal. The problem, of course, was the landing. Even experienced pilots struggled their first time landing on Giant's Deep, if the conditions went bad enough, and there was no way to know ahead of time what the conditions would actually look like by the time the ship breached the clouds.

"Okay." Gabbro says, after a moment of this. A little voice in the back of their head tells them this is the most void-brained idea they've had in a long time. "Hal, I need you to find the signalscope. You know what the control looks like?"

"I think so." Hal says. There's a few clicking noises. Gabbro hears the distinct sound of a probe launching, and they quietly wonder where it's going to land. Hal mutters something indistinct. More clicking and some shuffling, and a breathy 'aha'. The sound of the signalscope arm extending. Good. "Found it."

"We'll make a pilot out of you yet. Now, don't touch the pedals or the thrust. Just angle the ship until the signalscope reads my name." Still in the easy part. They refuse to consider the damage to them both if this fails. It has to work. Has to work.

"Found you." Hal says.

"Good job. Thanks, Hal. Get out of the seat and go huddle up under the computer if you can. Don't be in between Sanidine and the controls, and don't say anything. In about a minute I'm gonna try to talk them into landing." Gabbro says. This is the part they're afraid of. Their options for breaking through to Sanidine, even briefly, are few. But they don't really have a better idea, and the clock is relentlessly ticking for them to do something about this before their own resolve fails and everything goes to the void. They lift their signalscope to the sky and wait while Hal gets out of the way.

There. That's been about a minute. They squeeze the grip of the signalscope as though it's a lifeline, imagining for a moment that Sanidine is on the other end, the other half of them that they've found themselves unsure how to survive without. "Hey, Sani. Can you hear me?"

No response. About what they expected. They keep talking anyway.

"I know what you're seeing right now. I know it's horrible. I can imagine it too, and, stars, I'd do anything not to think about it, because I'm afraid of falling into the same hole you're in right now. But I told you, a couple loops back, that we'd be in this together. Now, I got you this far, and with any luck, there's a light at the end of that tunnel you're in, but I can't pull you down here to me. You have to finish the job."

Shuffling noises. Something's happening, Gabbro's sure of it. They have no idea if they're saying the right things, but they refuse to imagine what happens if they're not.

"'cause, buddy, I know it's hard, but if you don't come down here then we're both alone in this. And I can't take it, okay? I'll start thinking about Chert getting swallowed up, just like you are with Hal, and I'll break, and." Oh. They're doing this. They weren't going to do this, this hurts, and it hurts all the more knowing Hal is there to hear it. They can't stop themself. It comes tumbling out. "I can't take knowing you're up there hurt without me, and I can't handle being down here without you. These loops made sure of that already, you know? And if there's one thing I know about Sanidine already beyond anything else it's that they would never leave me with something I can't take, no matter what they had to do to be there, so please-"

The signalscope bleeps as a new signal appears in its handheld range. Gabbro drops to their knees, watching the skies. The radio echoes with the thrumming of engines, and they take in a long, shuddering breath.

The gleaming cockpit of Sanidine's ship breaches the cloud layer at a speed Gabbro is absolutely sure isn't safe. It arcs toward the island like a missile, belching flames from its engines. The throttle must be wide open, and it's not switching to a lower-power mode for atmospheric flight. Sanidine may have overriden some safety setting, they can't be sure.

"Don't crash!" Hal's voice, now, over the radio again. It's too late for that to change anything. The ship doesn't change course whatsoever. Gabbro watches it in disbelief until it flares, the thrusters and engines suddenly slamming into reverse thrust hard and shoving the nose into the air, and then drops roughly into the sand just next to the trees.

Intact, thank the stars. They force themself to their feet and sprint for it, ignoring the sudden complaint in their legs. When was the last time they sprinted for anything?

Sanidine drops out. No suit. Doesn't matter, that's what the trees are for, even if their clothes are going to get soaked. Gabbro tosses their helmet into the sand and the two nearly tackle each other, both of them crying, Sanidine harder than Gabbro.

"I'msorry-" Sanidine nearly chokes on a sob. "I- I wasn't fast enough and then it, all I could see, all I could hear was, was-"

"I'm sorry too, I'm so sorry," Gabbro says, and they press their forehead to Sanidine's. "If I hadn't been a lazy moron, my ship, it'd be where I could find it to come get you, you wouldn't have to have-"

Hal watches the pair talking from under the ship, eyes wide. Something about this already feels different from the closeness they have with Sanidine, and the way they're talking, it sounds like they needed this, bad. The two reunited look and sound like halves of a puzzle slotting into a whole, which is never how they've seen Sanidine with anyone before, much less Gabbro.  They're not jealous- they don't think they have it in them to be, as long as Sanidine is happy- but their worry only deepens.

If anything, they're also upset that whatever it is has to be such a huge secret that they had to bring Sanidine all the way to Giant's Deep to see Gabbro about it. Sanidine keeping secrets from them is fine- but keeping ones that hurt like this, they'd never approve, even if it's the most Sanidine move they can think of.

Minutes pass of the two exchanging teary, half-coherent words before Gabbro finally looks their way.

"Sani," they say with a trembling breath, wiping their face on their sleeve, still propping the younger Hearthian up with their other arm. "What do you remember?"

"I," Sanidine begins, then shudders. "I don't know. Not much between trying to just, hide, and then being in the pilot's seat. Your voice, a bit, but there's-"

They finally look the way Gabbro is, and the noise they make is strangled at best before burying their face into Gabbro's shoulder. They manage to wheeze out a "Why is Hal here?"

Hal opens their mouth to say something, but Gabbro holds up their free hand, gently. Gabbro's still shaking, themself, but Sanidine being physically there is helping calm them. The prospect of going through that whole loop without hearing Sanidine's voice again, after realizing how sick they actually might be, is bad enough. Their encounter with Hal on the frequency just nearly prompted a fun game of imagine all the different horrible faces Chert could die with in a supernova, never knowing that you really did care about them, and that would've pushed them over the edge just like Hal did with Sanidine.

"Hal flew you here." Gabbro says, quietly, and Sanidine's ears flutter in response.

The panic falls into the back of their mind. They turn to look at Hal, and Hal has rarely seen them so startled. Sanidine admittedly hesitates before letting go of Gabbro, but as soon as they do, they're running to Hal, and for a moment it's like they're back to themself, like they can be okay again. They look at Hal's face and instead of dread they feel pride.

"You," They start, before pausing and swallowing the lump in their throat. "You flew me here. You flew my ship?"

"I, uh, took your ship off." Hal admits. "And Gabbro told me how to find the autopilot. The ship did the rest, and then you took over once they got through to you."

"Hal, I still! I mean, you!" They struggle to find the right words. Finally, they grab Hal's hands, and their amazed expression softens into something a little more tired. They're still looking at them, really looking at them, not the phantoms of a Hal that's dying but the very real Hal in front of them. "I'm so proud of you."

"I- I would've done it for anyone." Hal starts to lie. "Especially my best friend, on their launch day."

"No you wouldn't." Sanidine says. They've known Hal too long for that to work. "If I was Riebeck, or Chert, or anyone else then you would've gone to get Gossan, or Gneiss, or Hornfels. But you didn't. You trusted Gabbro, you, you trusted me."

"Of course I trusted you." Hal says, their voice dropping to a hoarse whisper. "I'll always trust you. You can tell me anything."

The realization that Hal still doesn't know anything about what's going on hits Sanidine like a gut punch. They wonder if there's any point in explaining, and their ears lower again. Would it really help anyone to scare Hal like that? "I wish I could."

"No." Hal says, and they're suddenly firm. They twist their hands to get a tight grip on Sanidine's, staring their best friend in the eyes. "You can. Please. Because whatever this is, whatever secret you two have, it's- I didn't even recognize your eyes, back on Timber Hearth. You can't just make me ignore that. You can't just... just disappear, before you even leave, with only Gabbro to help me try to find you again. You can't do that to me."

Gabbro inhales sharply, and Sanidine feels even heavier than they normally do on Giant's Deep. There's desperation in Hal's eyes, and it makes both of the other Hearthians want to just go stand under the ship's engines to bring the next loop and get them away from this situation.

"You won't remember." Gabbro says, softly, and Sanidine shudders. This isn't right. They shouldn't be telling them. It won't help, it'll just make everything so, so much worse for the rest of the loop, because Hal still won't be real, they'll go right back to being next to that starlight-forsaken statue, but for now they'll be terrified.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Hal asks, and their eyes flick to Gabbro.

"It means," Sanidine says, after a moment to force themself to keep breathing, "It means that, when we wake up, we'll remember, and you won't. Everything. All of this, every second, it's just gone for you. I've launched, counting today, six times so far. I've already been to Giant's Deep on most of them. And you don't remember. You've died every single one of those times, I know you have, and you'll die this time too, and so will we, but when we wake up we'll remember every second of it."

"What?" Hal asks, their determination faltering. "But, how?"

Gabbro's ears perk. Not 'that's impossible', not 'you're crazy', not threatening to tell Gneiss that they're both out of their minds. Just asking how. They step up to the pair, putting their hand on Sanidine's shoulder and squeezing. "We're pretty sure it's the statues. The Nomai ones with the really impressive stonework."

"Explain it to me. Tell me everything. Every detail you remember." Hal's voice is firm again. Sanidine recognizes that voice. They've made up their mind about something, and there's no getting them to change it now. Before all this, that voice had the power to convince Sanidine of almost anything.

"It happened on my launch day. My real launch day. You had shown me the statue in the museum, although its eyes were closed then." Sanidine flinches at the memory. Has it really only been six launches since then? So much has happened to them and Gabbro that it feels like months. "I had the launch codes in my pocket, so I was trying to rush back outside. I took what I kinda hoped would be a shortcut behind that curtain, and everything froze."

"Like time standing completely still." Gabbro adds. "The waves here stopped moving, the tornadoes weren't spinning, even the rain and wind stopped. And I stopped, too."

"You stopped?" Hal asks.

"We couldn't move. Couldn't breathe, couldn't make a single noise." Sanidine closes their eyes for a moment, and to Hal's slowly deepening horror, they smirk faintly. "At the time I thought it was the worst experience I'd ever had."

Gabbro can't help but snort at the idea. "Yeah. If only it stayed that way, maybe you wouldn't be out here in the rain having to listen to all this from us. Anyway, the statues turned their heads and looked at us, as in opened their eyes. We both saw everything we'd done since waking up playing back in reverse, like the world's most realistic picture reel."

Hal shakes their head, squeezing Sanidine's hands. "Why didn't you tell me?" They ask, and now the pair can hear that concern in their voice again. Why did either of them think that was at all amusing? And, for that matter, why did they both think it kind of was?

Sanidine clears their throat, trying not to worry about how this whole experience is affecting them in more subtle ways than panic attacks and breakdowns. "I was afraid you'd tell Hornfels. And if you told Hornfels, they would definitely have had me grounded, and I didn't think I could take that."

"So you launched anyway." Hal says, no trace of offense or blame in their tone, and their eyes trace to Gabbro. "And because I told you where the statue was from, you came here."

Gabbro smiles sadly. No wonder Sanidine fell in with Hal so naturally. They're a quick thinker, and in ways that neither Sanidine or Gabbro seem to be, especially when other people are involved. "Yup."

"So what happened?"

"We sat and talked. Must've been hours." Sanidine says. "I haven't been keeping track. Each one feels a little different, anyway. But at the end of it, we died."

"You died."

Sanidine winces. That edge in Hal's voice is a sharp reminder of the fact that they keep catching themself thinking about it almost casually. "Yeah. Like I said earlier."

"Stars above, you're serious. No wonder you look so. So." Hal inhales deeply. There's not a shred of doubt in the way they look at Sanidine. That almost makes it hurt more. "How? What could've gotten you both like that?"

That's the question they'd been dreading. Sanidine tries not to lock up again. They look at Gabbro, as though looking for the answer as to whether it's right to tell Hal this. Hal, who will forget, but still have to suffer this loop, possibly suffer even more knowing that they're going to forget.

Gabbro feels just as lost. Their hand isn't quite holding on to Sanidine's shoulder as firmly as it was before, and their breaths are shallow. All they can think about is how Chert would no doubt ask the same question- or maybe even already know, being an astronomer and thus having a reason to realize what was happening to the sun, to all of the stars around them- and how it would destroy them.

"Hal," Sanidine finally says, their eyes falling to their friend's hands. Those hands, the hands they'd been so nervous to hold the first time years ago, now holding onto theirs with such conviction. "It's not- you don't want this. I don't want you to have to know this. Please."

Hal's heart sinks. What could possibly have Sanidine and Gabbro so scared? They press ahead regardless, because it's Sanidine. They've almost reached them. They just need to know this last thing, and then they can hold their friend and understand, they're sure of it, or at least try to. And maybe that'll be enough to be content, even if they can already tell that the only person in the universe who could possibly truly help is standing right next to their best friend already. "I won't let it try to steal you from me without knowing what it is. Please, you two. I don't know if I can do anything, but this is killing you, both of you and I can't even try if you won't let me."

Sanidine shudders. Tears wet their cheeks. "It's the sun, Hal. We've watched it happen twice now. It's going supernova, and when it does, it kills everything. It's over quick, but the heat, the pain in that moment, it's... it's impossible to describe. And then we wake up, and Slate makes the same stars-forsaken comment, and the launch codes are the same, and nobody at home remembers. Nobody but us."

"I don't even think the other astronauts remember it. The radio transmissions on the Ventures frequency are the exact same, in the exact same order, unless Sanidine does something to draw attention to themself." Gabbro says. Sanidine turns to look at them, startled. "Only happened the once. Hornfels said Slate heard you screaming from the elevator."

"Hah. Yeah. That was, uh." Sanidine sighs. "That was a bad morning. Right after I got, um. A landing strut through the chest."

"I don't need reminded." Gabbro mutters, and Sanidine wants to grab their arm and get them to talk about the hurt that they both feel from the memory, but they're brought back to Hal by an uncomfortably tight squeeze on their hands.

Hal, who is staring in complete, unmistakable horror, like they were looking at a pair of corpses already.

"I'm fine, Hal." Sanidine says, reflexively. It's about the most obvious lie anyone has ever told, and Hal squeezes again, causing the astronaut to wince more from the meaning than the pressure.

"People who are fine," Hal begins, with fire in their voice, "Do not talk about death like this. You've only been through five of these, these loops, and you're talking about them like you can just mention that you died and the worst you're supposed to get is the other person making a face!"

Sanidine stares at them. There's less of that sadness in their eyes now, more indignation bordering on anger, and they aren't really sure what to do about it. "I didn't mean to."

"That's not better!" Hal yells. "Stars, you don't even realize it, do you? What that sounds like when I hear it? You got a landing strut through your chest! You shouldn't have to deal with that memory, but you're just, oh yeah, that happened to me! Like you expect this whole thing to get worse!"

"Hal, please-" Gabbro starts to say, but the other Hearthian's intense stare shuts them up.

"I can handle this! I can deal with this, because it's hurting you not to let me know! I can handle it, so that you two don't have to be the only ones for a little while! But you-" Hal takes a deep breath, shaking now. The anger is giving way to something else, Sanidine hopes. Because they really, really hate seeing Hal like this, knowing they did it and there's no taking it back. "You are the last person who should ever start to talk about how they died as though it doesn't matter."

Sanidine's eyes fall to the ground. "Of course it matters. It hurts, every time. Even when it's the sun, when it's quick, it's still so much pain it makes it hard to even think when I'm waking up sometimes. But even if we're going to find a solution, I- this is just going to keep happening to us. Over and over, until we figure it out."

Hal shakes their head, then pulls Sanidine in tight as though their arms could shield the astronaut from the inevitable. "I don't want it to." They mumble, just loud enough to be heard over the wind, finally cracking a bit. "Because I'm afraid every time it does, a little part of you isn't going to wake up. Until I don't know the person who finally comes back, and I won't even know why."

Gabbro looks out at the ocean. Tornado starting to come in. It's been a while, this loop. "Sani. I hate to interrupt this, but we gotta get off this island."

Sanidine is shaking like a leaf, but they nod once. They hold the embrace for a moment longer, then finally step back out of Hal's grasp. "Hal. You gotta get in the ship. We'll talk more once we're safe."

Hal bites back a protest, seeing the way Gabbro is watching something over their shoulder. Rather than find out what it is, they step into the lift and then vacate the way. Knowing that the other two are probably coming doesn't keep them from holding their breath until Sanidine and Gabbro are both aboard, and Sanidine is firing the ship up again. Their hand pauses over the control console.

"Hal, did you turn off the atmospheric limiter somehow?" They wonder. Hal shouldn't even know where that control bypass is.

"Suspect that was you, coming out of your own head, buddy." Gabbro remarks.

"Huh. Good thing we didn't explode. Would've had a lot of apologizing to do later."

Gabbro sighs in confirmation. "A lot of apologizing. Like two whole loops worth, at least."

The comments are way too casual, and Hal glares, throwing a pack of emergency bandaging at Sanidine in response. "Knock it off, you two."

Sanidine tries not to react to how angry Hal sounds, instead gunning the throttle and zipping away just as the tornado flings Gabbro's island into low orbit. They can chastise themself for how easy comments like that feel later, if they remember. They hope they remember, because as important as Gabbro is, hearing the tone in Hal's voice feels like being stabbed.

Breaking through the clouds of Giant's Deep, they brace themself for what they might see. Thankfully, it's the sun, although the particular shade of orange suggests they've spent a little long recovering from their panic. They don't want to have to try to explain why the sky is growing darker to Hal, and they're not ready to confront the idea themself, yet, either.

"Hal," Gabbro suddenly says, as Sanidine focuses on finding somewhere else to go, "You know more about Sanidine's hatchlinghood than just about anyone else who'd care to share things with me. Have they ever had breathing problems?"

Sanidine grimaces. They're doing this now? They bring the ship around to Giant's Deep and dip low over its upper atmosphere, skimming along and building speed. They've always wanted to try a gravity assist, and it'll keep them from focusing on what Gabbro and Hal are talking about.

"Not really?" Hal shrugs. "Same as most people, sore throat and chest pain around the dry season, but usually not so bad they couldn't manage with the medicine Porphy makes all the other hatchlings."

"Usually?" Gabbro leans forward, and Hal tries to figure out the expression on their face.

"Um. One year, when we were just starting to be allowed out of the village, I remember they spent three whole days out in the woods hiding. When Gneiss found them, they, uh. I don't know the details, because I didn't really want to, but I didn't see them again for two whole weeks." Hal can't maintain eye contact with Gabbro, finally looking back at the computer. "I definitely heard Gneiss and Gossan saying something about it being a miracle they pulled through, but, you know, we were kids. I didn't want to think about them being sick then any more than I do now."

Sanidine makes another of those annoyed grunts. The ship settles into a high-speed cruise as it slingshots away from Giant's Deep, going nowhere specific. With the gravity crystal, none of them even particularly felt the boost happen. "I don't really remember what happened either. We were really young, and I'm pretty sure Porphy kept knocking me out with some kind of medicine they made."

"If Porphy can make something strong enough to knock you out, I'll have to get you to take me home sooner than I thought." Gabbro says, and they flash Sanidine a tired grin when the younger astronaut scowls over their shoulder.

Then they sigh. That answers a few things. There's not a lot of things that might produce those results so consistently, and they're no doctor, but Sanidine having either caught something in the woods both times or having some kind of long-standing condition they weren't privy to made the most sense. Sanidine, at least, seems to have no interest in delving into it this loop. Things settle into quiet for a bit, the three having plenty on each of their minds. The ship isn't traveling anywhere specific, at this point.

Then Gabbro hears Sanidine's stomach grumble, and they glance at Hal before leaning toward the cockpit.

"Put us in orbit somewhere, buddy. We all need to eat something, I imagine."

Noncommittal grunt. Stubborn brat. But Gabbro's stubborn too, and unlike Sanidine, they're willing to fight dirty when they have to.

"Sani. Don't make me get up and feed you like a tadpole." Gabbro threatens. Hal's eyes widen.

Sanidine very suddenly throws the ship's nose toward the nearest body. They're near Brittle Hollow, and it's simple enough to insert the ship into a high orbit, in a position they hope is out of reach by the marauding volcanoes of Hollow's Lantern. They then get up and step around the seat, sit down with their back to it and sigh. "Fine."

"I cannot believe that worked." Hal says, watching Gabbro in wonder. "Even I can't get Sani to stop and take care of themself that easily."

"It's because I think they'd actually do it." Sanidine says, giving Gabbro a side-eyed glance.

Gabbro grins, digging in the ship's supply storage before producing a couple tins of assorted food and the ship's pair of water canteens. "Oh, I would, sure. But I think it's because you just know I'd pick the worst things to give you. Alright, ought to be plenty here to go around. Besides, it isn't like we have to head in to resupply."

Sanidine glances at Hal before they answer. "I guess that's an advantage, yeah."

Hal's turn to grunt, and it sounds more irritated than Sanidine's does. Gabbro wonders if they picked it up from Sanidine anyway. Rather than comment on it, they start opening tins. Vegetables there, pickled fish here, and of course the all-important marshmallows.

The three eat together, there in the lonely little ship at the end of everything. It's the first time Gabbro and Sanidine have had anything but marshmallows since the loops began, on the occasion that they even eat at all. They say as much, and Hal nearly chokes on the fish they're eating before yelling at them both.

For a while, everything feels almost normal. They finish eating and Sanidine leans back against the seat while Gabbro and Hal discuss the finer details of the Nomai statues' sculpting. They miss this. They want this to never end, this moment of being alive again. Seeing Hal's eyes sparkle as they talk about the translator, how understanding the shape of a Nomai mouth means they can try to reproduce some of the noises they may have made. Hearing Gabbro muse on whether the statues are still art, given the terrible power they have, whether something so ruinous can still be beautiful.

"Hey, Hal." Sanidine says. It's the first time they've spoken up since the yelling over marshmallows. "I. I know, you know, this was a lot. And you're- I just. Thank you, for believing us."

Hal bites their lip thoughtfully. Then they get up onto their knees and crawl over to Sanidine, hugging them tightly. "I will always believe you, Sani. No matter what."

Gabbro pointedly looks away to give the pair their space. They need it. This is going to be a difficult enough parting if they leave things unsaid.

"Hal, I. I'm sorry. For all of this. I wish I could- I'm sorry." Sanidine whispers.

"I'm sorry too." Hal sighs, placing their hands on Sanidine's shoulders. "And I know you. So you listen to me. I will always trust you, no matter what, no matter how long you have to do this. It kills me inside, knowing I can't be there for you. But that isn't your fault. None of this is your fault. And if you ever need to hear this again, any of it, you just take me off into space with you and I will always, always believe every word you tell me."

Sanidine closes their eyes, clenching their hands into fists for a moment. "I'm so sorry, I. I don't know if I can take this again until it'll last. But I'm going to miss you."

"And I'm going to miss you. But I'm not going to be the one waiting. I'll survive." Hal says, before looking at Gabbro. "Gabbro, I. This isn't fair of me to ask, I know, but please. Make sure when you two come back to us, I can recognize you both. That's all I want."

Gabbro nods once, and they try not to think about how painful that request actually is, what it actually says about what's already happened to them. "We're trying to hold on, Hal. I promise."

"If you ever need to talk about Sani, or just... talk." Hal says, then sighs. "I know, I won't be able to give the best advice, but I'll try to listen. For both of you. Don't lose each other, okay?"

Sanidine feels their cheeks getting wet again, and they embrace Hal once more. "I don't deserve you." They mumble.

"Too bad for everyone else. I'll be waiting for you anyway."

An alarm goes off, and Sanidine gasps. Hal lets them go, and they jump to their feet and swing into the seat.

Proximity? That doesn't make sense, the only other ship anywhere near here is Riebeck's. They scan the area around them, nervously feathering the stick to adjust their view.

Hollow's Lantern, deciding it's had enough of the cheeky little ship hiding just past its volcanoes' standard ballistic trajectory, has launched a one-in-a-billion fireball directly at the ship from low and behind. Sanidine doesn't see it fast enough, because nobody could've seen it fast enough.

They grip the controls tight as the ship lurches forward. They hear Hal and Gabbro yelling something. There's an awful noise from the reactor, the alarm blaring like a scream of pain. Rather than panic, the situation brings everything into sharp focus, and they work the ship's thrusters with every control available to them.

The status panel is a sea of red. The main engines are gone, and the ship is brutalized, but they refuse to simply let this be the end of this loop. The frame strains audibly as it plummets, the structure starting to come apart. They hear hissing, and the O2 alarm is going off now too. "Please." They whisper. "Please, let me have just a little more time. Please."

Gabbro, at least, has their helmet with them, and they pull it on. The ship carries a spare suit, and they start working on getting Hal into it, trusting Sanidine to handle getting them down as safely as possible.

It's automatic at this point, trusting Sanidine. It's the easiest thing in the universe. But it still scares them to put so much on their friend.

The ship shudders and rolls inverted unexpectedly as it approaches a hole in the crust, and Sanidine is thrown upward, their head smacking against the ship's ceiling. They cry out, but stubbornly hold to the controls, blinking past the way their vision blurs. Hal yells something indistinct. It's not important. All that matters is what's in front of them.

There. On the underside of the crust, Nomai ruins less dense than the ones they were plummeting toward. They twist against the controls with their whole body, wrenching the ship's nose downward at the sight of gravity paneling. They think they hear the ship screaming in agony, but maybe it's just them screaming from the effort. Maybe their body and mind and ship have all been barely holding together, and this has been coming since the loops started.

In a moment of pure clarity, they realize that Hal would hate that thought more than anything.

The ship slams into the gravity paneling like it's beaching itself, shearing off one of the landing struts. It skids through ice and snow and past Nomai ruins for what feels like an eternity before it finally manages to stop. It's still leaking air like it's bleeding, and the reactor damage alarm is ringing in Sanidine's ears.

They're yanked from the seat by two pairs of hands, and Gabbro gets their suit onto them while they get their head together again. They taste blood, but it's probably fine, because they're still standing and frankly with the reactor alarm going off they have bigger problems.

"We need-" They start to say, once the helmet is sealed. There's no time, and they can feel it in that same part of them that still remembers every single word of Gossan's lectures. Gabbro shoves the pair of them through the torn-open hatch, and they reflexively grab Hal and cover them with their body.

The world goes white with a very different kind of heat, and they black out before they stop sliding across the gravity paneling.

This time, of the pair, it's Sanidine's turn to survive their ship. For a moment as they come to, there's no sensation but a dull throb in the back of their head. It's kind of a nice moment, they think, because the next their body explodes with pain, and they bite their cheek to keep from screaming in case someone else is till around. There's a piece of scrap metal sticking through their left thigh, they can just barely make that out, dark blood freezing against its base in the cold. Their suit has held up remarkably well to the punishment it sustained, but they can tell the reactor's final burst of heat has made it through to parts of their body, and they're pretty sure their left hand- well, it probably still exists, but it's alarmingly the one part of their body that doesn't hurt.

Their faceplate is cracked, and the suit's readout flickers. O2's at half, dropping slowly. Impossibly, the suit is still capable of holding the seal well enough.

They can't really lift their head, but that's fine, they reason. They don't really need to see the twisted, flaming wreckage of their ship this time- it'll just make them feel guilty over what they're putting it through- and they really don't want to see Gabbro or Hal if they aren't capable of moving on their own. They're just about to try and get themself a little bit more comfortable- if such a thing even exists when you're dying like this- when their helmet radio crackles.

"Void take me."

Ah. Hal's voice. They briefly wish they'd just died outright, because the horror in Hal's voice is almost more painful than the condition they're in, and the memory of the sound won't just fade like the physical injuries will. Hal would hate them thinking that, they kind of hate thinking like that, and they push the thought aside.

Sanidine manages a weak groan. Feels like their lungs are functoning, maybe? They can breathe still, a little, even if their chest isn't in the best shape. They can also taste blood, but they're not too worried about that still, because they're mostly just startled to be alive like this, pinned to the crust of Brittle Hollow by a piece of their own ship and Nomai ingenuity. They try to focus past the fuzzy feeling at the edge of their mind.

Hal's face appears between them and the sight of the black hole and ruins below, visible under the less effective tint of the spare suit's faceplate. They don't seem to have been hit by the blast nearly as badly as Sanidine, which is good, because those old suits aren't the best at absorbing that kind of damage.

"Hey." Sanidine manages to wheeze. Oh, there's the damage in their chest, flaring up into a blossom of pain. They don't care. This is important. "Hey. Hal."

Hal places a hand gently against the side of Sanidine's helmet. "I'm here. I'm right here. I don't know- I don't think Gabbro made it out. Oh, stars, Sani, you're scaring me. You shouldn’t be calm like this, you- you can’t just give up like this, please. I can’t lose my best friend to, to all of this, this stars-forsaken loop you’re in."

Sanidine’s heart shatters, in that moment. They know that, no matter how much they love Hal, no matter how much Hal might love them, Hal can’t take this. Hal still thinks, after seeing them like this, that they can somehow be the same Sanidine that they were before that first launch. And Sanidine, even now, can tell they might never be that person again. That Sanidine didn't know what it feels like to have a spaceship impale you on a rock, to watch aghast as everything you love is destroyed, to sob uncontrollably because death won’t let you go into the shoulder of the one person who remembers burning alive with you.

They realize they can't turn to Hal ever again, not until this is all over, and then they can see if Hal can find even this much of the person they used to be buried under all of the loops. They hope Hal will, one day. They'd like to feel that breathless, limitless excitement again, instead of it all being tainted by the resentment they currently feel toward the sun and the fear they feel toward the void. They miss it.

"Hal. Listen to me." Sanidine half-breathes into the helmet radio. They close their eyes, trying to gather their strength. They're not sure if their body will make it to the end this time, but for Hal, they're going to try. It shouldn't be much longer anyway, they hope. But, stars, it hurts so bad, and their vision is blurring now, and they can't really feel their impaled leg anymore. At least the pain isn't so bad there, now. "Soon, I'm gonna wake up again. And I'll be fine. And you'll. Be fine." The words aren't coming out right. Their mouth feels slow. "And you, won't have to re. Remember. You'll be okay."

"Sani, you will not be fine. Don't you dare lie to me that you'll be fine." Hal says, and they press their helmet against Sanidine's. They always can read them, all too easily, even in this dark moment so far from home. "But you better try to be. If not for me, then for them. I can tell, you two can't do this without each other. So if you can’t try to be for me, then please, try for them. I know they're going to try for you."

Sanidine stares up into those eyes, their vision swimming, blurry shapes that they manage to focus on for just long enough. They aren't fearful eyes, despite the tears that run freely down their cheeks. Hal is looking at their broken, mangled body, and they know they're doomed to die here, and they aren't afraid of that death, only of the loss they don’t know they’ve already suffered.

"How are, how are you, not-" Sanidine tries to ask, before they nearly choke on their own blood, pale red bursting from their mouth. Void-damned explosion. It must've damaged one of their lungs, or something along those lines. Now Hal has to see the blood dribbling down their chin, through the visor. They loathe that. Hal doesn’t deserve to see that, ever.

Hal runs their hand over the top of Sanidine's helmet, and their smile is visible, sad, but determined. "Because I believe you, void-brain. Because I know, one day, you're going to come through the door to the museum again, and Gabbro will be with you, and everything will be okay then. It will."

The black hole and the ruin become indistinguishable inky black, far below. Sanidine forces their right hand up to Hal's helmet, but it falls after only half a second. They hope it's enough, for whatever time Hal has left to endure this in.

"I'll. See you. When I, when we, get. When we can. Go home." They manage to half-burble through the metallic taste in their mouth, their world fading away before their eyes. Hal doesn't look away, just watching Sanidine die, like they're the only important thing left in the universe.

"When it comes, I won't scream." Hal says, quietly. Sanidine can barely hear it, even with the radio being right next to their ear, but their battered consciousness hangs on every word. "No matter what else you have to remember, even if you're already waking back up, I swear you won't have to remember that. Just as long as I can hold you again one day."

Sanidine tries to hold onto that knowledge, tries to cling to Hal's belief in them, as the cold nothing overtakes what's left of their senses and steals their first love from them once again.

Eventually, with Hal still cradling their friend's body and begging the dying stars for the loop to be real, for death to let go of Sanidine once again no matter what it costs, the universe ends.

Chapter Text

Gabbro lays on the beach.

They're mostly just waiting for Sanidine to get on the radio. The last loop was rough, they knew it and Sanidine knew it, but they hope that Sanidine and Hal had a chance to use the time they bought them.

Their mind wanders.

Somewhere up there, on Ember Twin, Chert is working. Gabbro can picture their oddly shaped helmet now, and they smile sadly. Their feelings toward Chert are complicated. They certainly don't have the same kind of affection Sanidine and Hal have for each other, but not counting their time travel buddy- heh, time buddy, they'd have to use that- Chert is about the closest Hearthian to their heart. They could be overly focused on their work sometimes, but they never dismissed Gabbro as being "just Gabbro", and when they would talk they took their ideas about things like quantum mechanics as seriously as they did their thoughts on art.

Chert is special. Gabbro misses them, dearly. But they don't dare listen in with their signalscope or their radio, because even if they told Chert everything, even if Chert saw the signs in the sun and the stars and believed them, they know they don't have the strength to let go at the end.

They aren't sure how Sanidine had managed to stay standing on that beach, knowing that version of Hal would disappear at the end of the time loop, but choosing to confide in them anyway. They hope that the pair got a little more time through being shoved out of the hatch, for both their sakes. While they certainly hope anyone looking for love can find it, if there's any Hearthian in the universe that deserves the kind of love that could drive Hal to put their hands on those controls based only on Gabbro's words, it's Sanidine.

They wish they knew how to make sure Hal's request could come true. They’re almost certain it can’t, not the way Hal wants it to.

The things that they've said and thought over the course of these handful of loops are already upsetting enough to sit and think back on. Sanidine probably feels similarly. But at the same time, there's a comfort in it. If they can joke about death, if they can learn to laugh despite- or even about- the things that they're going through, then maybe they can bear it more easily.

Chert would probably say it's a coping mechanism, or something similar, but Chert didn't get disintegrated by a ship reactor recently, so as much as they care about Chert's opinion the Chert-in-their-head can suck pinecones.

Still. Even after they'd recovered from the panic attack, they knew Hal saw the differences, saw the cracks in the person Sanidine is supposed to be to them. That they still looked them dead in the eye and trusted them anyway speaks volumes to the kind of strength Hal must have, even if it makes it alarmingly clear that Hal would be handling this even worse than Sanidine is as soon as Sanidine forgot about them once. But if the loops keep going, if they lose weeks, months... years, to the sun exploding, then they wonder if even Hal would be able to find Sanidine again.

They wonder if Sanidine would want them to.

Sanidine, who saw straight through Gabbro to the worst part of them and made them talk about it. Somehow, that had helped even more than the meditation exercises. Exercises they can now not try to do, because they have to wait for their helmet radio to crackle to life so they can tell Sanidine their plan, and frankly they aren't sure they can make them work at the moment anyway.

Gabbro groans, pressing their palms to their faceplate. They're just about to start talking to themself when, finally, they hear Sanidine's voice.

"I'm here." The hatchling says. They sound better than they have any right to. "Sorry. I tried to make sure I was actually off the planet and away before I turned on the radio this time."

That'd do it. "Are you okay?"

There's a long pause.

"I don't know. Better than last time, though. Are you?"

Gabbro sighs. "Better than last time. Did you two get to say goodbye?"

"Yeah. I didn't make it to the supernova, but." They hear Sanidine sucking air through their teeth. "Thank you, Gabbro."

"I wish it could've been more."

"Me too."

Another long silence. Sanidine must've adjusted the radio properly this time, since it's not picking up the ship's ambient noise.

"So. I have an idea." Gabbro says, finally. "About how we can figure out what's up with your coughing."

"Didn't happen last time." Sanidine blurts. "I'm fine."

"Sani. You almost died from it." Gabbro grunts, sitting up. "And honestly, I never want to hear the noises you were making near the end of that loop again."

"I don't- Gabbro, there's nothing wrong with my body." They know that tone already. Sanidine's trying to act like they aren't afraid. Gabbro decides to push anyway.

"Then there's no reason we can't get you looked at, now is there, buddy?" Gabbro smirks at the sputtering that comes over the radio. There's no world where Sanidine doesn't land on Giant's Deep no matter what Gabbro says or threatens to do, and they both know it, which means there's no world where they can run away from Gabbro's concern.

"Maybe I should just let the reactor take me again," Sanidine groans.

Gabbro sighs. There's a question that they know needs asking, and they know Sanidine won't be offended. But it's uncomfortable, and frankly, they aren't sure why they have such a burning curiosity.

"How bad was it?"

"Bad." Sanidine says, and their voice wavers enough that Gabbro flinches in sympathy. Sanidine clears their throat. "It was worth dealing with the pain, Gabbro. No beating yourself up just because you went fast and I didn't that time, please. We can't do that to each other."

"I-" They wanted to deny it, but Sanidine was right. They'd just been starting to think that perhaps it would've been better to just let the reactor take all three of them. Maybe that would've saved Sanidine some suffering, even if they had gotten a little extra time. "Alright. You're too good at that now."

"You just don't like that someone's starting to get to know how you feel about things." Sanidine says, and they sound relieved to be on a different subject.

"It's a mortifying ordeal." Gabbro says, and lays back against their beach, lifting the flute to the little slot in their helmet. "Let me know when you hit atmosphere. And, please, eat something this time. I already did."

"Fine."

With the flute in their hands, they close their eyes. It doesn't feel like long at all before Sanidine's telling them to clear the beach.

Sanidine's still in their seat when Gabbro comes aboard. They look back to confirm the hatch is shut, then turn and flick the landing lights back off. One last look at the beach for now. They wish Gabbro could've been pulled in on Timber Hearth, as much as Gabbro loves Giant's Deep.

Then they send the ship hurtling skyward. There's something about the power of the engines, the way the ship handles under their care. Ever since they've forgiven the ship for the landing strut incident, they've found that they're barely feeling afraid as long as their hands are on those controls.

They try not to feel the twinge of bitterness as they wonder if this is what Feldspar felt.

"Yo, Time Buddy." Gabbro says, finally taking up a position on their right shoulder.

"Time Buddy?" Sanidine asks, looking up at them with the hint of a smile tugging at their lips. They're gonna make Gabbro earn this one, even if they think the name is pretty good already.

"Yeah. Well, you're my buddy, and you and I are stuck in a time loop, or something like a time loop. Time buddies. It makes perfect sense." Gabbro grins.

That grin forces Sanidine to crack, their attempt to stay straight-faced breaking into a grin of their own. For a moment, neither Hearthian's spirit feels quite so heavy. "Time Buddies it is."

Gabbro's grin doesn't fade, but their tone changes, a bit more serious. "We gotta get you looked at."

Sanidine's grin does fade. "We really don't."

"Sani, your body completely fell apart on its own and neither of us knows why."

"I don't want to know why!" Sanidine snaps, and then their ears lower and they turn back to the starry view ahead of them, slowing the ship's burn so that they don't go flying off into the black. Their voice is a bit shakier when they add, "It's not like it makes a difference until we're out of this."

Gabbro sighs, and their hand lands on Sanidine's shoulder. "It makes a difference to me."

Sanidine feels the urge to say that it shouldn't, but the look in Gabbro's eyes when they turn to speak stops them.

"I hate it when you look at me that way." They mumble, before turning the ship back toward Giant's Deep to slingshot. Gabbro knows it's a lie, because Sanidine is incapable of saying it with any conviction. The truth is they don't, though they would if just about anyone else other than maybe Gossan or Hornfels did, and rather than try to figure out what that means for them and their Time Buddy they just focus on accelerating back toward home. The boost from Giant's Deep again comes in handy, and it gives them something to do for a moment, even if it's going to make Timber Hearth arrive all too soon.

"And I hate it when you read me like I'm an open book." Gabbro lies back, just as transparently, before squeezing Sanidine's shoulder gently. "But that's our promise, isn't it? That's what Time Buddies means."

"I guess so. I just." Sanidine squeezes the ship controls. "If it's something we can't make better, in the time we've got, then it's just going to be more to worry about. For both of us."

"You know, before all this, I think I might've agreed with you." Gabbro muses. "Then a crazy hatchling rammed into my island and died in my arms. I haven't remembered how to stop caring since."

"You make it sound like it was on purpose."

"Do I?"

Sanidine grunts, in that way that Gabbro finds so amusing, and they key in the radio frequency for Outer Wilds Ventures. With any luck, Hornfels and Hal aren't going to decide things are suspicious, and Slate's going to decide they were just feeling excitable.

It'd be nice to be lucky, for once, they think.

The remainder of the trip is both quiet and blessedly quick, the pair listening to the sound of their fellow travelers' instruments. Sanidine simply tries to appreciate that they're moving so quickly. Giant's Deep might not be their favorite planet in the system, but there's no denying that the depth of its gravity well is useful.

"Esker?" They call, as they approach the Attlerock. Gabbro has retreated to the back of the ship, poking at the computer again.

"Sanidine! I saw you launch, didn't realize you'd be back so soon!" Esker chortles. "Giant's Deep too noisy for you?"

"Er. Something like that." Sanidine glances back at Gabbro. "Gabbro wanted a lift for something. Do you know if the pad's clear?"

Esker makes a hmm noise. "Ahh. They must've lost their ship again. Well, you're the only ship I've seen going or coming from Timber Hearth today. Unless someone else was getting ready to launch, you should be fine to land!"

"For your information, Esker, my ship simply decided it wanted to go exploring on its own." Gabbro chimes in.

"Sure it did, hatchling, sure it did. You two come by and see me when you finish up! It's tradition, Sanidine! And I haven't seen you in ages, Gabbro!"

The two look at each other. If they have time, that could be a nice way to spend some of the loop, Sanidine briefly thinks. Esker deserves it, after all. Then cold reality sets back into their heart, and they’re not sure they can bear to see the old astronaut, knowing they'd be unable to hide their feelings. It'd make them rotten company, they both know it.

"We'll see if we have time. I'm starting my reentry burn now. Stay safe up there!" They say, before switching off the radio and sighing deeply.

Gabbro steps back over to the front and grips Sanidine's chair tightly. They trust Sanidine's piloting. Honestly, they're still not sure how they managed to belly-land the ship last loop in the condition it was in. That may have benefitted from Slate's thruster modifications, but the actual piloting was all Sanidine. But Timber Hearth's main pad, in the crater that houses the most populous village, is still a tight landing at the angle that they're approaching from.

Assuming, of course, you're not Feldspar, and you don't revel in burning down half the support structures.

The hatchling has also probably never done this landing before, given that it's explicitly restricted to experienced pilots. They've probably never landed this ship on Timber Hearth ever, Gabbro reflects, as they slip into the atmosphere. That might get interesting. If the landing is as flashy as they know it can be, then eventually Slate's indignation will probably be better for Sanidine and their bruised self-worth. If it isn't, well... at least they won't have to clean up the mess, probably.

Sanidine doesn't let themselves grow tense, their muscles loose, though they're holding their breath. Their eyes fly across instruments, their hands and feet making slight adjustments. The crater wall looms ahead. They're skimming trees at high speed, the engines screaming.

Gabbro wonders if they're doing this because they know it won't really matter in the end if they hit something. Hal would smack the controls out of their hands so hard they'd wind up back on Giant's Deep if they knew. But maybe they need this kind of release, because the truth of the matter is simple: dying hurts, especially if it's temporary. It hurts in a way that, whatever they tell themselves, the pair can't really forget. And the stars know Gabbro feels more like they have some control over the matter in the moment that the ship crests the wall than they have for three loops straight, and maybe they need that feeling, or they'll lose themselves entirely.

Sanidine, too busy for deep thinking, slams back on the throttle to throw the mains into reverse and twists it upward. The ship bucks, flaring to a dead stop directly over the main pad, and they shove the throttle back to neutral, their thumb flicking the maneuvering thruster switch delicately as the ship descends.

The struts touch down, and Sanidine lets out the breath they've been holding in a loud phew.

Gabbro gives them a low whistle. "Stars, Sani. When did you learn how to do that?"

Sanidine looks back to wink at Gabbro with a lower eye. Their voice is shaky, but there's no mistaking the triumph in it. "Last loop. Don't forget your flute, or Gneiss will waste time starting on a new one for you."

Gabbro's eyes widen in recognition. Of course. Last loop, they pulled the exact same type of high speed landing on Giant's Deep, at an even steeper angle. With everything else going on, the fact that the hatchling remembered that the ship could handle it left Gabbro with the silliest grin. "You cheater."

"Maybe. I admit, I only realized it when I was flashing back." Sanidine undoes the harness, climbing out of the chair. Their legs are a bit shaky, and they know for a fact Gabbro can see it, so they just take a few steps in place. "And I was also nervous as the void is black, since I know you can tell."

"Fooled me at the time." Gabbro shakes their head. "You're gonna put ideas in the tadpole's heads with fancy flying like that, you know."

Sanidine smiles warmly at that, and they shove aside the bitter voice saying it's not like they'll remember anyway. The thought is still beautiful. They cling to it like their body clings to breathing. "Good. You ready? Neither one of us is gonna like this."

"I hope I'm ready." Gabbro squares their shoulders, then leans down to open the hatch. They don't really sound ready at all, but they're trying, Sanidine can tell. "It was my idea."

"Doesn't matter." Sanidine says, mustering every bit of courage they can. They think back on Hal, and how sure they were that Sanidine could still be Sanidine, loops or no. They hope that version of Hal was still right in some small way, despite the creeping fear that they weren't at all.

They reach for Gabbro's hand. "Time Buddies. We do this together."

Gabbro pauses, then takes Sanidine's hand, squeezing it gently. "Yeah. Time Buddies."

The hatch opens.

Chapter Text

Sanidine breathes a deep sigh of relief. Nobody waiting at the top of the pad. Gives Gabbro a chance to take in the view of home, gives them a chance to breathe in the smell of the pine trees and the moist, sweet air from the geysers.

They both lean into each other for a moment. If they can find some way to stop this whole thing, whatever damage it does to them, it'll be worth it to know this won't be wiped away so brutally. They don't need to speak to share that thought, squeezing each other's hands as reassuringly as they can, nor do they need to talk about how easy it is to imagine their beloved homeworld engulfed in fire before disintegrating entirely.

The elevator whirrs, and the pair startle, looking at each other. Their encounter with Hal last loop showed just how hard they can find it, already, dealing with the temporary versions of their loved ones that the time loop creates. At least this way neither of them has read the script yet.

"Sanidine!" Slate's voice booms. "That better be you coming home to explain what in the stars you were thinking!"

Sanidine flinches. Not the way they want this to start. But they don't get a say in the matter, and they look at Gabbro helplessly. Get us out of this, their pale yellow eyes plead silently.

"Slate!" Gabbro calls, and now they're smiling that fake smile suddenly, just like they have so many times before. They let go of Sanidine's hand- both of them wish they didn't have to let go- and start toward the elevator to meet Slate at the top. "My buddy here was just coming to fetch me because, wouldn't you know it, my ship is off exploring on its own again and I had a message slipped to them, but I suppose I'm caught aren't I?"

Slate's eyes narrow, and they cross their arms, stepping up to look Gabbro in the eyes. "You're going to start explaining, right now."

Sanidine shoots Gabbro an apologetic look, and they start for the elevator, hoping to slide past before-

"And you, hatchling!" Slate turns to them. "If I find out that you were the one flying that void-brained maneuver over the pad, I'll have you grounded until Gossan decides you've learned better, impressive maneuvers or no!"

Sanidine withers, nodding, though they can't help the spark of pride at the admission that the landing maneuver was impressive. Gabbro clears their throat. "I was flying, Slate. Thought I'd put that brand new ship through its paces. Let Sanidine go so they can see their friends and tell them about their first launch, huh?"

Slate looks between the two. They're certain that Gabbro is full of it, because they've never been so reckless, certainly not in the air. At the same time, for all that Sanidine idolized Feldspar as a tadpole, it's hard to imagine they would have the skill or confidence to pull off such a high-energy landing on their launch day. And it truly was impressive, as much as Slate didn't want to admit it out loud.

They give up on that line of inquiry, and start laying into Gabbro about losing their ship again. Sanidine slips onto the elevator, and their heart sinks as they lose sight of their Time Buddy, a pang of intense loneliness aching in their bones. Gabbro has a placid smile on their face as they disappear from view, but Sanidine knows exactly the kind of things they're having to try very hard not to imagine Slate going through, because they felt the exact same way upon seeing the shipwright.

At the base of the tower, Sanidine breathes again, though they find it difficult to fill their lungs properly. No sign of an overly excited Hal coming to check on them, or Gossan, yet. They could probably handle Gossan, if the founder didn't press too hard. They'll start to break if they have to talk to Hal again so soon.

They already wish Gabbro was with them again. It's so much easier to exist with Gabbro anywhere than to face the possibility of talking to these awful almost-ghosts of the people they loved. These static recordings with stars-forsaken emotions who will never have to know about the way they were broken and dying in Brittle Hollow less than a day ago, who will inevitably be wiped away when the sun decides their time is up and replaced like they're nothing more than shadow-puppets on the wall. Sanidine ruefully steals one of Slate's marshmallows, because at least those are real and sugar is always welcome, and then they start around the bend.

Mica, blessedly, is distracted working on their ship model. Sanidine isn't really sure what they can possibly do that would fool the hatchling- they're sharp like Hal is sharp, and they'll find a gap in Sanidine's armor and the everything they've got built up inside will just burst out.

Nobody deserves that, but only Gabbro and Hal have proven they can survive it at all. Sanidine never wants to see what the knowledge of the loops would do to someone like Mica. Never.

They manage to get past quietly, and Mica doesn't look up from the model. Sanidine is almost certain they weren't as unnoticed as they were trying to be, but if so, Mica had the grace to let them simply slip by. Maybe the hatchling could tell they weren't in the mood to talk.

They know they won't be as lucky if Tephra spots them, and the thought almost makes them sick. Their hand clenches at empty space, and they would give so much to have Gabbro there to help them through this. Or just to have them there at all.

Tephra, of course, should be in school, and school is approximately on the entire other side of the crater, and what that means is that unless they've been caught already they're likely trying to hide somewhere around the launchpad paths.

Here, too, they're lucky enough that at least they spot Tephra first, and they decide that if they can manage to at least not tell the hatchling who looks at them the way they used to look at Feldspar a straight-on lie, then maybe some part of their soul will manage to survive the encounter intact.

"Hey, astronaut!" The hatchling calls, running over with a gleeful smile. "You launched, didn't you!"

"Yup!" They force a smile. It's a little strained, but Tephra doesn't call them on it, thank the stars. "Just to pick up Gabbro, first. They lost their ship."

"Gabbro," Tephra says, as though repeating some great truth they learned from one of the adults, "is a void-brain."

Sanidine manages to look properly aghast at this vile insult, and Tephra bursts into giggles.

"Hey, Gabbro's pretty smart. They and I have gotten to be pretty good friends, actually. Listen, I wish I could stay and talk, but I gotta go see Gneiss." Sanidine glances up the trail, to the right turn that'll take them toward Gneiss's cabin. For a moment, their heart begs for Gabbro to somehow appear around it. 'Pretty good friends' indeed. "Shouldn't you be in school, anyway?"

"Probably." Tephra says, shrugging. "But I saw you landing and I snuck out, 'cause school is gonna be there tomorrow, but you're gonna leave again."

Sanidine's heart aches. I wish I didn't have to leave so soon, they want to say, but they're not sure the words would even make it out of their mouth. "That's what astronauts do." They manage. They can't meet Tephra's eyes, and they know the hatchling notices, and they wish they hadn't let Gabbro convince them to come home yet, hadn't let them get separated. They don't know why that, of all things, aches so badly. They should be able to exist on their own, just like they always could before, but right now, they aren't even sure they know how to breathe properly on their own.

"I know." Tephra says, looking up at the launchpad. They hesitate, glancing at Sanidine's expression. "You're gonna come back, though, right? You won't disappear like Feldspar?"

Sanidine feels their blood run cold, and they want so badly to say yes, and they realize they can't say yes. They can't lie to Tephra that way. Their stomach twists, and they swallow to make the sick feeling easier to control.

"Not like Feldspar." They say. It's not quite a lie, but it still burns in their throat, a pain just as bad as any of their deaths so far. Tephra hears it, they know they do. They remember being that age. They always heard and saw the things their elders thought they could hide.

"If you do," Tephra says, slowly. It's a measured kind of response, one that takes into account the way every scale on Sanidine's face looks so heavy right now. "If you do, I'll come find you. So don't worry."

"I'll try to make sure you don't have to." Sanidine chokes out. Stars. They wanted to avoid this, they wanted to never come to see these faces again until they could look at them and not imagine the solar fire that would consume them, and now they're realizing Tephra's future is on hold until they manage to figure out how to save at least their solar system, because they'll never get to grow old enough to even try sap wine, much less fly their own ship.

They'll just die. Over and over, dying not instantly enough, just like everything else.

They want to run from the way Tephra's looking at them, the way the hatchling's eyes search their face for something that simply isn't there, but their feet are frozen to the spot. Whatever parts of them are so damaged already that they can't stop thinking of the impending supernova, they refuse to stop trying to be the person that Tephra admires so fondly. They and Gabbro can break down together in the ship later, or talk about it, or maybe just find some way to distract themselves for the rest of the loop. For now they force themself down on one knee and put a hand on Tephra's shoulder, drawing from strength that they know they have very little of left. They have to be honest with Tephra, as much as they can, because the hatchilng deserves that much, expects that much. The hatchling deserves to really see them, even as heavy as their emotions feel. The adults can handle the lie better. "Hey. Don't look at me like that, like I'm already missing. Please."

Tephra gasps, then nods, blushing to the tips of their ears. "I'm sorry! I just- you look so sad. I don't know why."

"It's kinda personal." Sanidine gives them a smile, a real one, small and sad and tired, but real. They're not sure they'll be brave enough to let this encounter happen again. It has to matter, in some way, even if it's temporary. "I kinda didn't really want to have to see you, because I knew you wouldn't let me pretend not to be sad. But that's okay, 'cause that's why I know you'll be a great astronaut, whether you have to come find me or not. You see stuff even when it's not obvious."

Tephra stares at them. It's a piercing stare, one they're used to getting from the hatchling, more than anyone except sometimes Hal and now Gabbro. Eyes that see straight past what they want them to see and into their heart, whatever's left of it.

They wish kids weren't so void-damned perceptive.

"I dunno what could make you this upset." Tephra says, after a moment. "But I know you can handle it. 'cause you're you. So don't give up, okay?"

Sanidine's head falls. Stars above. There are the tears. They really hoped that particular dam wouldn't break yet. "I'll try, Tephra. For you. You better get back to school before they notice you're missing."

The hatchling darts up and gives Sanidine a tiny but firm hug. They wish they had it in them to return it. They can't make their arms move with all the willpower in their body. "Okay. Thanks, Sani. For bein' honest."

And off they go. Sanidine takes a long, deep, shuddering breath. They want to punch the ground until their fingers break, scream bloody murder until the sun hears their despair and anger and stops this. They don't. It won't listen, they know. It'll keep dying, over and over, and in the process keep heartlessly ripping the future away from every single person on Timber Hearth, and for whatever horrible reason, Sanidine and Gabbro will keep being the ones forced to watch it happen.

They exhale slowly, and push themself up to their feet again, shaking. They glance at the tower. Gabbro and Slate at least aren't still standing there, or at least not at a spot that's visible from Sanidine's location. They hope Gabbro's handling this better than they are, because if nothing else, Gabbro's always been better at lying to protect themself. They try very hard to ignore the passerby who are giving them concerned looks. The newest astronaut, back on Timber Hearth, down on one knee in the middle of the launch area courtyard? Thankfully, nobody tries to talk to them.

They wish they didn't feel so lonely right now. They never got like this about Hal, and they're not sure they can blame that feeling entirely on the isolation of the time loop. They're aware that it should probably scare them more, feeling like they're starting to forget how to not have Gabbro around. They're glad it doesn't, because being scared wouldn't change the way it feels like the very core of who they are is missing.

Right. Gneiss. They start walking, numb to the people around them. The clinic is up toward the north wall of the crater, a right turn where left will start bringing you toward the one place in the crater village that they're sure they absolutely cannot go.

Sanidine glances forlornly toward the museum, then turns right and heads up toward Gneiss's little clinic, trying to find the energy to pretend the only thing wrong with them is some kind of cough. Hopefully, Gneiss won't try to pry too much, though they know the older Hearthian will have questions.

Above, the sun burns orange, and time ticks on.

Gneiss' clinic is more or less the informal medical center of the village. For anything that can't be handled there, chances are that Gneiss will send people to either Porphy (for specialty medicine) or the more dedicated hospital building on the other side of the crater, which they also technically manage. Blessedly, things are relatively quiet this time of year. Hatchlings and tadpoles are mostly in school, astronauts are out on assignment or doing whatever astronauts do, and the tree keepers are in the growth cycle, not the harvest cycle.

This means that when Sanidine enters the clinic, Gneiss is sitting in their rocking chair, whittling a spare piece of wood. They nearly jump out of their seat upon getting a look at their visitor.

"Sanidine?!" They exclaim, leaving the knife and wood at their chair and rushing to the astronaut's side.

Is it really that obvious? Sanidine wonders how they must look to everyone else.

"Hey Gneiss." They force a smile. Gneiss might let them get away with it where Tephra didn't. "Easy. I'm not hurt or anything, launch went fine."

Gneiss stares at their face for a long moment, then relents, stepping back. "Mm. Be that way. We'll talk about my worries later, then, hatchling. But we will talk about them."

They need to get better at hiding it, Sanidine decides. Maybe Gabbro can teach them a few tricks. Still, Gneiss is giving them room, and that's such a relief they nearly collapse on the spot. "Thank you. I, uh, really don't want to talk about it."

"Then why are you here?" Gneiss asks, one ear flicking in agitation. "Hornfels and Gossan didn't inform me that you'd been grounded or injured, and you aren't yelling for me to come help with some kind of disaster out at the pad."

"It's- it's my chest." Sanidine admits. "I got sick while I was wearing my suit. It's passed now, but it was enough that Gabbro insisted I come talk to you."

Gneiss' ear flicks again. They're well aware that in no way did Sanidine have time to travel out there to Giant's Deep, get sick in their suit, come back, and already have recovered. But this is the most open with them about a concern that Sanidine has been in years.

"Come with me to the back, and describe your symptoms."

Sanidine follows, and this time they do physically slump a little, their tension fading. It's hard, even with someone as stalwart as Gneiss, not to see the star-stuff enveloping them when they blink. But Gneiss isn't pressing on the wound they noticed, because Sanidine asked them not to, and Sanidine hadn't realized how much less stressful that was going to feel.

"Started as a sore throat. Dryness. That kind of thing." Sanidine rubs at their throat a little. "Progressed to chest pain and coughing, then coughing fits that I- it was bad enough I almost fell over."

Gneiss pauses to look back at the young astronaut, jaw set.

"By the end, it felt like my lungs were full of sandpaper. And I think Gabbro said I had a fever, but it's hard to remember clearly."

"Hold it." Gneiss interrupts, finally. "What do you mean 'by the end'?"

Sanidine's breath hitches in their throat. "Oh, uh. Before I fell asleep, you know, 'cause I was sick."

It's a terrible lie. How does Gabbro do it so effortlessly? Gneiss squints at them.

"Stop lying to me, Sanidine." They say, finally. "Tell me that you don't want to talk about it, if you'd like, but don't lie."

Sanidine manages a dull nod.

"Now, I know those symptoms and I'm not about to start pulling at things that don't need pulled, much as I'd like to." Gneiss opens a door to what appears to be some kind of examination room, and they push Sanidine inside gently. "Get your shirt off, lay down, and I'll see what I can do. I suspect still have a file around here from the last time you were in here about this."

"What?" Sanidine asks, halfway into removing their shirt.

"Lay down." Gneiss insists.

Sanidine grunts and does as instructed. Gneiss feels around their chest, pressing against their ribs and listening to their heart. Apparently satisfied, they then turn away and start rifling through their filing cabinets.

"Now," Gneiss says, pulling a small bundle of papers out of one of the older cabinets and flipping through it. "Let me see. That was when you were barely out of tadpolehood..." Flip flip flip. Something about the rougher texture of the thin bedsheet on their back sets Sanidine's teeth on edge, but they manage not to say anything.

"There it is." They pull a sheet out in particular. "Mhm. Sanidine, brought to me with a near-fatal case of dry-lung syndrome-"

"Of what-"

"Stop interrupting, hatchling, or I'll tell Hornfels you're not to leave." Gneiss threatens.

Sanidine tenses like Gneiss just pointed a knife at their throat. They've reacted that way to threats of delaying their launch before, but never wearing an expression quite so actually afraid. It's like they're fearing for their life. Gneiss watches them for a moment, then looks back down at the paper.

"Treatment largely successful at the time, of course, because you're laying in front of me. But even then we knew your respiratory system was irreparably damaged."

Sanidine flinches, one hand going to their chest.

"Amazing this wasn't caught in the preflight medical, but I suppose the notes are the real problem here, not the result. To sum up, it's your suit air." Gneiss sets the paper aside, crossing their arms. "It's not untreatable, hatchling, but if you breathe air that dry for too long, the way your body reacts will start to kill you. Your respiratory system never fully developed to handle air without a little moisture, once you were past being a tadpole. It tries and it starts to break down. The reaction gets bad enough and there's really no coming back from it without surgery."

They give Sanidine another sideways look. The implication is clear. There's no way Sanidine could've experienced the symptoms reaching the point they described and lived, and the lie was even more obvious than they thought.

Gneiss decides not to press the matter, seeing the way Sanidine's pupils shrink as they process this.

"Now, under ordinary circumstances, I ground you for two weeks. You go on an intensive treatment regimen. By the end of it, we've managed to recover most of your normal lung functionality in those conditions for a while, and you fly off to do whatever it is you want to do out there, assuming Hornfels doesn't overrule you and send you somewhere specific. You come back every few months for another treatment session and this condition is manageable."

"Two weeks?" Sanidine blurts, more incredulous than they thought they'd be.

"Ah- under ordinary circumstances, yes." Gneiss pinches between their eyes for a moment, then turns to look Sanidine in the eyes. "Tell me honestly, Sanidine. You won't wait two weeks no matter what I say, will you?"

"I can't." Sanidine says, reflexively. Their head is spinning.

"I thought not. There's a medicine that can mitigate the effects somewhat, and they won't set in as long as the air is humid enough, either, but remember that mitigation only goes so far. You start exerting yourself in dry enough air, even with medicine, and you'll start to have trouble breathing again."

"Now, I don't care what kind of void-brain nonsense Slate says they've done with the air filters on the ship, running water through the air system on those suits is asking for an electrocution. But Porphy can make the medicine for you, the ingredients should be simple enough to get. Maybe Gabbro even has some, since they've been out on Giant's Deep. You take this once a day in the morning. Porphy should be able to fill you in on side effects and any other concerns... I'll write down the recipe for you, one moment."

Sanidine nods. They feel numb. This would be a funny story, a weird curiosity of their body, if only it weren't for the time loop. What a thing to have to tell Gabbro, that they're broken and they can't be fixed before everyone dies. Part of them knows Gabbro will tell them it's fine, because they're Time Buddies, and, well, Gabbro is never going to look at them as anything other than Sanidine. They almost wish the older astronaut wouldn't, when that moment comes, for Gabbro's own sake. How can they ask them to deal with this every single loop?

"Sani." Gneiss says, a little too loud. Sanidine jumps, realizing that Gneiss is standing in front of them, and the look on their face suggests they've been calling their name more than just the once. The doctor puts a hand on Sanidine's shoulder. It feels warm, solid, all of the things it can't ever be until the loop is broken, and Sanidine hates that their reflexive thought is to think of the loop.

"Sorry, Gneiss." They mumble. "Just, in my own head, you know how it is."

"I do." Gneiss says, and Sanidine bites back the urge to say they don't. They press a folded piece of paper into Sanidine's hand. "But listen to me for a moment. I've known you since you were just hatched, and I've never seen you like this, not even when..."

Sanidine knows exactly where that thought is going, and they flinch their hand away reflexively, grimacing. For all they respect Gneiss, they feel like only Gossan has any right to bring that up freely.

Gneiss sighs. "I just wish you would explain to me what's going on."

Sanidine can't meet Gneiss' eyes. There's no point in explaining. They know that, just like they knew it with Hal, and they can't do that again, not with anyone else, ever. That Hal took a piece of Sanidine with them into that supernova and there's no getting that back, because it's so easy to imagine every loop's Hal saying those same things, doing those same things, until the inevitable end. Over and over again. Their empty hand flinches futilely in the direction of a Gabbro who isn't there.

"I'm sorry." Sanidine whispers, just loud enough for Gneiss to hear. "I wish I could too. I gotta go see Porphy and Gabbro, I guess. Thanks, Gneiss."

Gneiss heaves a sigh and steps back, giving Sanidine room to get up. "We're here for you, Sani. All of us. Don't do anything you'll regret, okay? If you need to talk, to any of us, you know we'll listen."

Sanidine slides off the table, sighing in vague relief at the itchy-bothering sensation of the sheet fading away. They grab their shirt, then nod, pulling it on. "I will. I. Gneiss, thank you for, um. Not grounding me."

"I want to. But I won't." Gneiss says. The way Sanidine is looking at them makes them want nothing more than to lock the observation room door until they begin talking. But would that even work on an astronaut as driven as Sanidine? It might, and Sanidine would never forgive them for it. More likely, it would wind up just like Feldspar, and any attempt at grounding Sanidine would just make them bold and stupid about getting off-world.

Gneiss sighs heavily, as Sanidine leaves. They reflect on a saying Esker's been fond of using on them ever since the day they first tried to keep Feldspar from flying. Some folk, Esker would say, have the stars in their blood. Trying to keep them from flying, once they've had a taste for it, is like trying to stop the planets from orbiting. They'll pull themselves to pieces trying, if you tie them down too tight.

The doctor only hopes the burning of those stars doesn't turn Sanidine to ash inside. They go back to their chair, and they close their eyes, and they think about the instrument that they didn't have the chance to tell Sanidine about, the one packed away in the back of the ship's cargo compartment.

They don't know if Sanidine will like it, but they hope so, because they think it really fits them. Next time they see them, they'll let them know it's there. Next time.

Chapter Text

Gabbro is having a rough time paying attention.

Much like Sanidine, without their time buddy around, they quickly fall into their own mind. And the problem with that is, lately, it's dark in there. It's worse when it isn't.

They also find that, much like Sanidine, they've forgotten how to actually look at or talk to their friends. Even their normally strong false smile is faltering as Slate leads them past people that they should be at least happy to see.

It hurts so badly that they're not, and how every Hearthian face fills them with a cold wave of dread.  They hope that Sanidine is doing better, somehow, and their hand closes around one that isn't there, looking for reassurance that can't come.

Stars above. They knew being apart from Sanidine hurt at this point, but they didn't expect it to hurt so much. They were hoping last loop, when they nearly fell to pieces at the realization they might spend an entire cycle apart, was something they could just attribute to Sanidine's panic attack. And yet here they are, just as anxious to reunite. Maybe more so. They try to comfort themself with knowing Sanidine is, hopefully, getting the help they need.

Maybe they'll head back to Brittle Hollow next loop. Exploring a Nomai ruin that may contain clues, that should keep them both distracted, and the only face they might see there is Riebeck's, and Riebeck at least will be excited to talk Nomai stuff with Sanidine and maybe they can even enjoy the conversation a little bit the first time around. Plus, if they decide to stop caring about their mortality entirely, there's always a black hole to jump into. Yeah, they decide, gazing off into nothing particular. They'll bring it up with Sanidine later.

"Hey! Gabbro!" Slate snaps. "Wake up, will you?"

Gabbro's ears flick up. Oh, right.

"Sorry, Slate. Was thinking about a project back on Giant's Deep. Gonna make something that you can only see when the islands go up, you know? From underneath."

Slate stares at Gabbro, dumbfounded. "Just go tell Hornfels what happened to your stars-forsaken ship, will you? And leave me out of that plan."

Ah, they're in front of the museum. Gabbro realizes they haven’t been paying attention to even that much, their thoughts off on another planet with someone else. They decide that's probably not great, because normally even when they're letting their attention drift they know where they are.

"Alright, alright." They shrug, heading inside, slipping past people in the crowd. Just enough that Slate is satisfied.

They can't bear to look at the curtain.

Behind it, they can hear Hal and Hornfels excitedly talking about every detail of the statue. They nearly get sick when Hal talks about how excited Sanidine's going to be about this, how hopefully they come by soon, today is their launch day after all.

It's one thing to hear Sanidine talk about the experience of seeing their loved ones frozen in time, but it's another to actually live it. They don't blame their time buddy for fleeing to their ship every loop one bit, not that they did before. They walk past into the museum proper.

There's a few gasps from people nearby. It's not often the museum gets an unannounced visit from an established astronaut, and rarer still for it to be Gabbro, as frequently offworld as they are. A few tadpoles and hatchlings stare as they walk through, and Gabbro tries very hard to keep a smile on their face, because none of them need to know that Gabbro's darkest nightmares will be filled with them screaming as a wave of plasma engulfs them. At least they don’t have to deal with that during the time loop.

They start up the steps to the observatory proper, and the young ones below watch as they disappear up the stairs. Gabbro tries not to hear their chatter, because if one of the young Hearthians did see the despair in their eyes, they don't think they'll manage to do much more than curl up under Hornfels' desk and cry until Sanidine finds them.

Gabbro falls into Hornfels' chair, pressing their palms to their lower eyes and taking a deep, shuddering breath. What should be home feels like a nightmare. They knew it wouldn't be good, but they didn't know how much it would kill them inside to see everyone's faces, to know the end is coming over and over again.

If it weren't for Sanidine, they'd just give up, go back to being “just Gabbro”, and wait until something changed. But they can't. They can't, that part of them died when they watched the youngest astronaut in the Venture die underneath their own ship, trying to look for answers to a question neither of them really understood yet. They wonder, grimacing, if that was the moment the Gabbro everyone knew disappeared too, because they sure as the void is dark don't feel like the breezy artist-philosopher that everyone downstairs thinks they are.

Hal's words from the last loop burn in their memory, and they curl their fingers, digging their nails into their forehead as though the pain they cause there will make the pain inside them hurt less. It's almost reassuring, in a dark way, that their old way of dealing is still so easy to think about.

They hope Sanidine doesn't see it, because they know Sanidine will expend everything they have in them if it means trying to keep Gabbro from falling into that hole, and for all their talk and openness there are some pits in them they don't even want their Time Buddy to be aware exist.

"Gabbro?"

The astronaut lets out a wheezing gasp. They whirl in the chair to find, of all people, Gossan standing there with a bundle of papers under their arm. The look on their face makes Gabbro want to jump out the window. That old concern, the kind they haven't seen in so long, the kind of expression they had when Gabbro first disappeared into the Quantum Grove and had to be dragged back out bleeding.

Gossan had tracked them down, then, and despite everything they should've done they never told Gneiss the truth about the injuries on Gabbro's arms.

"Stars, Gabbro." Gossan whispers. They drop the papers without a thought, rushing to Gabbro and placing their hands on the astronaut's face, thumbs gently stroking their forehead. "What happened to you?"

In that moment, Gabbro is a hatchling again. Feldspar has been missing for a month. The stars above loom like daggers, their warmth gone cold, and the Quantum Shard watches them without judgement as they numbly whittle away at the wood in their hands. The knife slips.

They don't stop carving.

Gossan is there, hands on Gabbro's face, staring into their eyes. The knife has fallen from their fingers. Their limbs feel cold like the universe must be, they think. Everything feels so hollow. Everything except Gossan, steady Gossan, who sits there and puts bandages on them and holds the hatchling and sings the Travelers' Song in their warm voice, and who refuses to let Gabbro be alone.

A week later, they're with Chert, and Chert catches the tension in their shoulders and the way their hands shake, and Chert hands them the book on meditation that steers them into loving the stars again. Loving at all again.

But before that can happen, Gossan has to cradle them in their lap and ease them into troubled sleep, has to show them that the hurt they're causing isn't just theirs. Has to share their hurt with Gabbro, so they can cry together over shared loss in that quiet grove.

Gossan, who tries so hard, who saved Gabbro, who- if they read into things with Sanidine correctly- probably saved Sanidine too, as much as they loathe the possibility. Who hasn't ever stopped wearing that dumb helmet Feldspar made them, to the point Gabbro isn't sure what they look like without it anymore.

Back outside of the memories, Gabbro grasps Gossan's wrists, and they realize they're crying. They don't want to be crying. They used to be able to stop themself, but they suppose that's another part of them that the loop has destroyed.

"You won't understand." Gabbro says, finally. They're looking into Gossan's eyes, pleading silently. Please don't make me explain. You can't save me, not this time. For once, you're as powerless as I am, so please don't make me prove it to you.

Gossan searches for something in Gabbro's face. Gabbro isn't sure if they find it or not, and frankly, they aren't sure which would hurt more.

"I see." Gossan whispers, after a moment. They adjust their hold to pull Gabbro's head against their chest, holding them for a moment as though they're still that lost hatchling in the grove. Maybe they are, deep down. All they know for sure is that no matter how much either of them wants them to, Gossan is incapable of leading the way back out this time. "I'm sorry, Gabbro."

Gabbro closes their eyes, and the tears come harder now, their hands dropping to lay on Gossan's body. Why did it have to be Gossan? Nobody else save Sanidine would've realized the actual crushing depth of the fatigue in their eyes, but of course Gossan did, because Gossan has seen that before, when it was so much less and still tore Gabbro apart. They crumple again, trying to pretend Gossan's warmth isn't so temporary, and sob openly into their old instructor's shirt.

"I didn't want any of you to see this." They finally whisper back, once they can try to speak without their words being consumed by a heaving sob. "I really didn't."

Gossan shakes their head, fingers tracing a comforting circle on Gabbro's back. "I know. Y'never have."

"You can't," Gabbro breathes, swallowing the fresh lump in their throat that threatens to break them into a new mess of sobs. "You can't help this time. But I have someone who can."

"Mind telling me who?" Gossan asks. There's no suspicion or malice in their voice, just fear for someone they wish they could save, and deep concern. It hurts anyway.

"Sanidine." Gabbro mumbles, finally. "I, they're. Stuck with me, hah."

"Mm. Not m'first guess." Gossan says, but they sigh, a big, effortful thing. "But then, I s'pose that you two have more in common than most."

Gabbro wants to laugh. If only Gossan knew. But then, Gossan saying that is itself odd, because nobody else in the entire village has ever thought the two Time Buddies could be close beyond just being on friendly terms. "Why's that?"

Gossan closes their eyes, and Gabbro can feel the way their body sags, like it makes them older and wearier just to think about this. They regret asking, but it's too late now. "Well, you two were both odd youths. Always so focused on your obsessions, you with your poems, Sanidine with the Nomai. Neither of you was ever very good at talking about yourself, and I should know, because I tried so hard to reach out to you both. But really, I reckon the main thing you share is..."

The pause is nearly a physical thing. If it goes on much longer, they're both going to suffocate in it, but Gossan needs to build themself up, to let these memories stop being so full of thorns for a moment that they can speak about them without tearing themself up inside.

"Feldspar." They say, finally. Gabbro winces at the way they say it, like it's invoking some kind of curse, as though to just say the name of the best of the best risks damage that neither of them is ready for. And, in a way, maybe it does, because the implication- after how Gabbro handled Feldspar's disappearance, or more accurately how they didn't- is entirely too clear.

They'd never thought about what it meant that Sanidine had been there too, in one of the clinic beds not far from theirs. They hoped so dearly it wasn't because they'd hurt themself the same way.

"I see." Gabbro says. They don't know what else to say, and after a moment, they pull back and wipe their face on their sleeve. "I. I didn't know they also... thank you, Gossan."

"Nothin' to thank me for." Gossan steps back. "You know I'm always here for you, Gabbro. Tell Sanidine the same thing, when you see them."

"I will." Gabbro stands, arms crossed defensively over their chest. "I should go. You mind if I use the back door?"

"I won't tell Hornfels. But only if you land safely."

"I always seem to." Gabbro climbs up to the opening the telescope extends through, throwing a leg over its lower frame. They manage not to say that it's not like it'll matter anyway, and wonder if Sanidine is struggling not to lose perspective, too. Or gain perspective. It's hard to know, especially with everything else that they've got on their mind now. "See you, Gossan."

"I'll be around." Gossan nods, collecting their papers. “And I’ll be worried about you both.”

Gabbro doesn't wait for them to look. They slide out onto the roof and rub their face to try and clear the signs of crying. Sanidine will probably figure them out instantly, but frankly, they're kind of glad of it.

Speaking of Sanidine, they should really try to reunite with their time buddy, because there's a gnawing emptiness in them still without their fellow astronaut around and Gossan just seems to have made it worse. They drop down behind the museum level, carefully, more for Sanidine's sake than their own. Easier to find their buddy on ankles that they don't damage, after all.

Once they're sure the coast is clear, they start back toward the intersection. If they're lucky, Sanidine will have made it to Gneiss' clinic and been seen already, and it won't be long to wait before they can get themselves back to the ship and away from all of this pain. If they're not, well, there's plenty of places they can hide out of the way and wait. It's not like anything is going to happen to either of them, and Gabbro is alarmingly aware that they're unable to meditate with the maelstrom of emotions burrowing its way through their very being.

They have to teach themself how again. At least they can teach Sanidine too. After talking to Gossan, they're almost certain their time buddy might need it, just like they did.

Chapter Text

Sanidine exits the clinic just as Gabbro arrives, the universe blessing the two with a rare moment of good luck. They lock eyes from across the path and, forgetting everything for a moment, throw themselves into each other's arms hard enough that passerby stop to look.

"There you are." Gabbro whispers, and they press their forehead to Sanidine's. "Stars that was awful, time buddy."

"I know." Sanidine whispers back, and their ears lower a bit. "I thought I was gonna go crazy. We need to talk. Private. The grove, with the poem?"

"Kind of far." Gabbro observes. They don't want to argue about it. They're barely keeping it together, so happy to see Sanidine again that their breaths are shaky. But they know that if they spend a little too long in the Quantum Grove, they'll have to watch the whole thing burn down, and neither of them will be able to function for at least a bit after that.

Sanidine winces at the reminder that they're on a time limit. The sun's dark orange overhead, starting to shift toward red, and it makes their stomach churn. "I, yeah. Okay. Yeah."

"Zero-g cave?" Gabbro says, and this time Sanidine shakes their head.

"Only one suit there. If one of us cracks their head open the other's gonna have a real bad rest of this loop."

"Fair point." Gabbro concedes.

Sanidine closes their eyes for a moment. The contact between them is so solid, so reassuring, that they wish they could just linger in it for an eternity. But the sun, and the village, won't let them wait. "In the ship. We stop by Porphy's. I need something from them."

Gabbro squeezes them gently. "Sure. That'll help us get away before, you know."

When Sanidine nods, Gabbro lets go of the embrace to grab their time buddy's hand and starts walking without another word. The familiar weight and warmth against their palm are enough to ease their breathing. It feels like they're the last two real living beings in the whole solar system, maybe the whole universe.

Sanidine, too, finds they can actually fill their lungs with air again now that Gabbro's hand is in theirs. It's like that warmth and weight are the only real things left, like Gabbro is the only thing that really matters, and they hate themself a bit for thinking that way. But the way they hollowed out inside as Gabbro disappeared from sight on the elevator is proof enough of just how little they want to be anywhere if Gabbro isn't with them.

The pair walk without caring who stares at them, leaning into each other's sides. Each of them simply lets the presence of the other hold them up, quietly. It's all that they can do.

Porphy is, for lack of a better word, unenthused when the two walk through their front door. They've been busily trying to prepare a celebratory meal for the launch of their newest astronaut, in anticipation of their return, and yet in walks their newest astronaut hand in hand with the only person who's ever said their sap wine is too mild.

They're about to make a comment, to ask just what in the stars the pair are doing here, when they catch the way Sanidine's jaw is set. Ah. They're not here for food. Something's up.

"Well," Porphy says, crossing their arms. "Out with it, you two. Did you land on Gabbro or something?"

It's clearly a joke, but then Sanidine's face pales as they look at Gabbro. It's like they're imagining it, and Porphy stares at them, even as Gabbro makes eye contact with the smaller astronaut. There's something to the way they meet each other's eyes, an unspoken conversation. Porphy can't stand it, because it means things are actually bad and they're not going to tolerate that.

"Listen, whatever the matter is, I didn't know it was that serious. What's going on?"

"Sorry, Porphy." Sanidine finally says. They turn to face the village's best-known and most-feared winemaker, and for a moment, Porphy thinks there's something there that they should really call Gneiss or Gossan about, some look in Sanidine's eye. "I, uh, got kinda sick while I was up there. Gabbro helped get me home, and Gneiss says you can fix some medicine? I was hoping maybe you could even teach me how to fix it myself?"

Ah. That would do... some of this, they supposed, although they're a bit unclear on why Gabbro's still hanging out with them. And holding hands with them. It's weird, but they don't question it. Their ears lift at the idea that this medicine is something they'll need enough of that they want to fix it themself, but they've never pried into medicinal issues before and they aren't about to stop now. "Sure, hatchling. They give a list and some notes?"

Sanidine nods, handing over the paper, and Porphy scans it. Hm. Nothing unheard of here, although more than half of these things are only reliably found on Giant's Deep. Everything else is already part of the basic first aid kit in the astronauts' shuttle. The recipe is familiar, a syrup that's very similar to something they've fixed for Gneiss in the past.

Come to think of it, Sanidine was involved then, too. But this is a more ambitious mix. Gneiss doesn't just prescribe this kind of thing to anyone. Gneiss prefers the things that are proven to work for the conditions their patients have. If they're prescribing this, with items gatherable more easily in the field than at home, it means that the hatchling isn't being grounded for medical reasons. That's concerning enough on its own.

But Gneiss is the doctor for a reason, and Porphy's already in pharmacist mode. They grab a few sample jars, laying them in a row on their counter, and the two astronauts watch intently as they describe each unique plant, where it was located, what it's for. The samples are somewhat familiar to Gabbro, because as the one person strange enough to spend an extended time on Giant's Deep, most of them were found by Gabbro.

A tiny amount of water, some painkillers from the first-aid kit, a single anti-inflammatory pill, mashed together with the herbs in just this way. It took very little time to prepare before cooking, and once cooked, it just needed filtered. The only issue was that they needed a fair amount of each plant to create each dose, at the intensity Gneiss has suggested Sanidine be taking.

That's the one thing they pause at. "Hatchling, at this dosage, you should be aware there will likely be a few side-effects."

Sanidine's ears drop, and the look they give Porphy is heartbreaking. "They won't keep me from exploring, will they?"

Porphy shakes their head. "No. Well, they shouldn’t, but even if they cause you problems it’ll just be an adjustment period. It's mostly to do with this, here."

They place a finger on the smallest jar, and the astronauts glance at the little stars-forsaken root in there. "As you know, we try to avoid too much testing of these ingredients. Most of these plants proved safe, once we finally got to them, if not the most pleasant on the tongue. But this one, we noticed, can cause some measure of tremors in the hands. I wouldn’t even include it, but Gneiss wrote that it’s essential.”  Porphy grimaces.

“They know what they’re doing. Anyway, worst effects onset within an hour of taking, and gradually subside. I don’t really know how bad it’ll be, at this dosage, but. Well. I don’t imagine it will impact your exploring, if Gneiss is willing to prescribe it instead of grounding you."

Sanidine doesn’t like it, Porphy can tell from the way they look at Gabbro, their jaw set tight. They also catch the small squeeze they give Gabbro's hand. These two think they're being slick, Porphy thinks, but these eyes can tell when something else is going on just as well as they can tell when trees are getting ripe for tapping. They decide to update their bet around whether the hatchling will wind up with Hal.

"Try not to take this on an empty stomach, if you can help it." Porphy warns, pouring the syrup into a spare wine bottle, corking it, and handing it to Sanidine along with returning the slip of paper. "Side effects are gonna be much worse if you do, and it might cause a couple cramps. This should be ready to consume as soon as it's cooled, and you need to take about half that much each morning. Now, did you two need anything else?"

"No. Thanks, Porphy. That's all." Sanidine says, and they're about to turn to leave when Gabbro speaks up.

"Give Gossan our best, Porphy. They need it."

Porphy stares at Gabbro like they've grown a second head, but before they can ask what in the stars prompted that, the pair have left. They sigh, leaning back against a cask in their rack, and consider what to say to Gossan later. Clearly, they're the ones who aren't being sly enough.

Sanidine groans as they fall into their pilot's seat again. Returning to the ship feels right. It feels safe, as though it didn't fall apart on them multiple times now. None of those were the ship's fault, and Sanidine  doesn't even consider them when they run their hand along the control console. “Hand tremors, huh."

"Could be worse, time buddy. One of those other roots made me real dizzy for a week straight." Gabbro offers, punching the list into the ship's computer for safekeeping.

Sanidine turns in their seat to look back at Gabbro, mouth quirking. "Why did you even eat it?"

Gabbro shrugs dismissively. "I wanted to know if it was any good. It's not, by the way. Not much on Giant's Deep's surface is. You're gonna hate this magical mystery elixir."

"Thanks for the words of encouragement." Sanidine sighs, turning back to the panel in front of them.

Gabbro finishes up and walks over, leaning against Sanidine's seat from behind. "You know I'm not about to lie to you at this point."

The sun catches their attention, and they both tense a little bit. It's turned an uncomfortably berry-like shade of red on its way to the final color.

"I want to run." Sanidine says, finally. They start flipping on switches, the ship's reactor giving a pleasant hum as it powers up to full. They're talking faster than they're thinking, because it's easier to just let things happen after all of the holding back they had to do in the village. "We're going to run. If we need to die after so we can come back and keep trying, then we can just leave off our helmets and eject, but I want to just. Run."

Gabbro looks down at them, and Sanidine looks up, and the two stare at each other for what feels like an age. The casual way it just slipped out, like describing what they'd do if they ran out of marshmallows, only suicide, by suffocation in space. Sanidine's eyes beg them not to say anything about it. Finally, Gabbro nods slowly. "Okay. You know what, I do too. Just this once, let's be afraid on our terms, right?"

Sanidine turns back to the controls, double checking that the resupply system was disconnected properly from the pad. "It'd be a nice change. We can talk once we're up. About... about everything."

Gabbro pats their shoulder, then goes to sit down beside the reactor. It's warmer than the other corner, and it's not like whatever awful thing the reactor's giving off up close like that can settle into their bodies long enough to hurt them, and why is it so hard not to think that way? They rub their temples. "Good plan."

Sanidine grabs the throttle, taking in the crater they grew up in one last time. It's home, but it feels like a flower with poisonous thorns, a place that hurts too much to exist in anymore. They'll do anything to save it, endure anything to get it back, to save the things they’ve loved since long before they died that first time. But they can’t be in it. Not now.

They twist, then pull, and the ship accelerates upward. They ease the nose up. Now they throw the throttle forward, as far as it can possibly go, the throttle making a clunk noise from how hard Sanidine shoves it. The ship roars into space again, burning its engines as hard as it can, Sanidine refusing to release the throttle until well after they shoot by the Attlerock. Gaining speed, gaining so much speed, as they run from the inevitable.

"So," Gabbro says, finally, once Sanidine relents on pushing the throttle into its frame and just sits back into the cushion. "Will you tell me what Gneiss said?"

Sanidine stiffens again. They get up and walk to the other side of the ship, sitting down next to the hooks holding the suits. They know the answer, but they can’t stop themself. They have to ask the question anyway. "You won't treat me any differently, right?"

"Why would I?" Gabbro asks, gently. They can't even find it in them to be hurt by the suggestion, just worried.

"Because I'm broken, because of course I am." Sanidine says, and they lean forward to stare at their hands, clenching them into tight fists briefly, as though it might keep them from having to handle the effect of the medicine later. They don't need to see the concern on Gabbro's face right now. "My respiratory system didn't finish developing right, once I wasn't a tadpole anymore. I can't handle the suit's dry air for long enough. Gneiss called it dry-lung syndrome."

"Oh, Sani..." Gabbro rolls out of the little compartment, finding a space to sit beside Sanidine and wrapping them in a one-armed embrace.

Sanidine doesn't look at them. Their fingernails are pressing into their palms, and Gabbro sees it, and that just makes them feel even worse because Gabbro's going to worry about them even more. "They said, normally, they'd ground me for two weeks, and they'd treat it, and I could be..." They search for a term that works. "Mostly normal. Just have to come back every couple months, get treated again. Like a ship with a defective hatch. Almost normal. But we don't have two weeks, we don't even have two days, and I don't know if they just saw how afraid I was and pitied me or what, but."

So much Gabbro wants to say. So many things that they want Sanidine to stop saying. They settle for grabbing those hands, putting their own scales in place of Sanidine's palms, squeezing tight. "Sani. Time buddy. You know better than all of that."

Sanidine bites down on their cheek to stop themself from yelling that they don't, not really, since they had to cut their exploration of the probe cannon short because of this, and now if they want to be remotely helpful Gabbro has to gather them these stupid plants every time they wake up instead of being allowed to just relax.

The words stick in their throat, even if the energy doesn't. They demand to be let out, demand to be said. "You- I'm gonna need you to get the stuff for this. Every time. How can you be okay with that?"

"As though I have anything better to do?" Gabbro asks, and they sound far less flippant than they should. "You have to fly to Giant's Deep, every time, because I was too lazy to moor my ship properly. The least I can do is use the time to help you instead of sitting around watching my tornado friends like I used to do before all this."

Tears on Sanidine's cheeks again. Stars, this feels agonizing, and they feel like a void-brained jerk, now that that hot anger is finally subsiding. Of course Gabbro would never, ever think that they were going to be more of a burden because of this. They feel disgusted that they let themself think that, that the boiling in their blood was so intense. "I'm just so. Angry, angry like I haven't been since-" Their throat can't say the name. They squeeze Gabbro's hands again for a moment, then they continue, quieter. "I never wanted this to be the answer, but you're right, aren't you? We needed to have it."

Gabbro sighs. "I know how that anger is. I won't let it take you. Last time mine pulled me under, Gossan had to pull me out, and they were almost too late." They pause. Their voice gets quiet. "They tried to pull me out of all of this, too."

"Oh, no." Sanidine's heart drops into their stomach, and they lean to look into Gabbro's eyes, both of them crying softly now. Again. They're not sure if they ache more for Gabbro or Gossan, knowing how hard the flight instructor would take seeing either of them like this.

Gabbro shakes their head. "They caught me when I- I was trying to hide from Slate and Hornfels, and wound up in Hornfels' office in the observatory, and seeing all the hatchlings at the exhibits just. Got to be too much."

"Gabbro, I'm sorry. I should never have let us split up." Sanidine swallows, trying to get that persistent lump out of their throat again. "Maybe then, I. I don't know. We would've had each other, at least, when we saw them."

"Not your fault. Slate would've kept us too long, and, well, we're running away for a reason, aren't we? Anyway, we talked." Gabbro's voice is so quiet. They laugh, soft and fragile and agonizingly brief. "Gossan thinks we're pretty similar, you know? I guess they've got more perspective than us."

"I guess so." Sanidine says, just as quiet. They kind of hope Gossan isn't as perceptive as all that, because the things Gossan knows about Sanidine's hatchlinghood are the kind of secrets that leave scars.

Gabbro squeezes their hands again. "I couldn't argue with them. They connected some dots in my head, I guess. Things I didn't know about us. Mistakes we both made. They said to remind you that they're there for you, by the way. As though either of us needs to hear it right now."

The view outside the cockpit is pitch black, and something about the quiet way they're talking now feels appropriate. Somber.

Sanidine glances at Gabbro's eyes. They finally connect the same dots, and they grit their teeth for a moment and squeeze Gabbro's hands back before they answer, wanting so badly to talk about it but having no strength left in their heart to do so. Not this loop. "I guess that's why they're so good at seeing through us both, huh? Like Te-" Their throat threatens to close up at the memory. They force the words out. "Tephra is."

"What? Oh, stars. You had to talk to Tephra." Gabbro breathes the words. Even they know what Tephra thinks of Sanidine.

Sanidine's quiet voice turns hard and bitter for a moment. "I did. Honestly, I thought I was gonna be okay, but then they. They asked me if I was going to disappear. Like they did."

They. It hangs in the air betwen them, a name that, for the moment, Sanidine and Gabbro both are incapable of saying aloud. It'll just rub salt in an old wound, still raw despite all this time, broken freshly open by their circumstances.The one who promised them the world, that every aspiring astronaut wanted to be like. Gabbro didn't realize that Sanidine felt so angry about Feldspar, still, but maybe that's just another reason they're similar, because that hot angry ache is still there somewhere in Gabbro's chest too, waiting for its chance to break free.

"I wanted to say I wouldn't, but I think-" Sanidine's face is strained, like this admission is causing them physical pain. "I think I already did. They just don't remember, they won't ever know where I went, because it never happened for them. But I'm not sure Sanidine didn't already disappear in that first supernova, and I’m afraid whatever I am is just going to have to vanish from their lives when we get out of this, because staying would just hurt them more."

"You won't. We won't, even if we keep changing, because stars know I feel it too, when you say things like you said earlier and I don't even think twice at first. Whoever we are then, we'll come home to them one day, together. Like how river-stones are still the same rocks after they get worn away by the current, you just might not recognize them, right?" Gabbro says. It hurts them too. They know Sanidine is thinking about Hal's face, and how Hal would feel knowing how deep the damage already goes. "I think we have to do that for the people we care about, even if we know it'll hurt us. But we'll do it together. Time Buddies."

"Time Buddies." Sanidine repeats. It sounds so silly, for something they hold onto with such a tight grip, now. It's perfect for the two of them, ridiculous as they are together, with all their scars dragged into the open by the sick light of a dying star, over and over again. "I want to let go of all that fear, Gabbro. I need to, I know Hal was so scared of it, I'm scared of it, but if I don't start letting myself accept what's happening, what it means for us, so that we can stop being so afraid of it then I. I don't know what'll happen."

"Me too." Gabbro admits, after a moment of quiet. They take a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "I think we have to. Because the fact is, as much as it'll hurt, we're going to keep waking up until we fix this, and pretending otherwise isn't doing us any favors. It's just making us afraid to confront things. We need those jokes and ideas and comments, I think. So let's let go of it together, on our terms instead of the loop's. Agreed?"

Sanidine meets Gabbro's eyes again, and then they lean forward to rest their head against their shoulder. "Agreed. Immortal time buddies. This doesn't mean I won't be upset if you die without me, though."

Gabbro rests their head against Sanidine's. "Oh, I agree. I'm going to be so mad if you make me watch you die again, Sani. But at least we can accept we'll see each other again. Maybe that'll make all the difference, right? Stop feeling so stars-forsaken afraid for ourselves and each other."

The ship reaches some invisible threshold and starts decelerating, the autopilot failsafe beeping online and swinging the cockpit around. The sun is so, so very far away, red and angry and tiny. It starts to shrink even more, and the two wipe their eyes. Ridiculous. The end of everything right outside, and the pair of them are just sitting around crying on each other again. Sanidine decides that if the universe does have intent, it has a sick sense of humor, pairing them up like this, but they actually start laughing a little.

The explosion hasn't reached them yet. They look at Gabbro, not actually looking forward to the idea of stepping out of the airlock. It won't be fun or quick, and they both know it, but Gabbro's laughing now too. They have to accept letting go of who they were, now, because otherwise they won’t wind up as anything at all. And part of that is acknowledging, the pair laughing against each other's shoulders, that this whole thing is cosmically ridiculous.

"I can just try to make the reactor explode again? Probably faster than stepping outside." Sanidine finally offers, unhelpfully, but they both giggle a little bit in response. It feels like they can breathe again, being able to comment like that without wondering what's wrong with their soul. Like someone found their own reactor and hit a release valve, and the pressure is finally easing. They'll come back, and they’ll change, and that's okay.  It isn't something to be afraid of talking about, of accepting into their thoughts. It has to be okay, because if it isn’t- if they can’t allow themselves to change- they’re going to break under the weight of who they used to be.

Gabbro's about to respond when they both gasp, and purple light crawls into their vision as they freeze in the half-light of the supernova's remnants, their hearts and brains simply ceasing to function at all. The time loop reclaims its captives forcefully, like an angry prison guard.  Then they're gone, and their bodies collapse against each other, as empty as everything outside.

The universe ends.

Chapter Text

Sanidine awakens with a start. The familiar explosion unfolds above them, and they take a deep breath, fingers curling against the dirt.

Not that it's an awful way to go- although they were extremely aware their body died, it didn't hurt at all- but they decide the feeling of being frozen in time and having their mind invaded is something they really only needed to experience the once, thank you. If they won't die properly themselves then it seems that by void or star the time loop will kill them itself, and while they're glad for it in a way, they're also resolved to make sure they actually stay close enough to go back the short way instead.

Slate's there. They can't look at Slate again. They spring to their feet and board the elevator, feeling lighter than they have since their actual launch day. Somehow, the pact with Gabbro to let go of the fear of accepting the loops is still freeing, and even with everything else on their mind, they finally feel less upset about simply waking up at all.

The ship is waiting. They pat its hull as they walk into the lift, and then they're suiting up and hitting the radio at the same time. "Morning."

"Yo, Time Buddy." Gabbro's voice still sounds weary, but just hearing it at all is reassuring. "I'm already gathering your plants. It's nice to have a reason to get up and move around while you're on your way, actually."

"Hope that holds up by the twentieth time you're doing it." Sanidine says, and it makes them feel a little more alive again that there's no pang of guilt in their mind chastising them for acknowledging that they're stuck. The berry on top is Gabbro's chuckling, no longer quite so tired and empty. They must feel it too, Sanidine thinks, or at least they hope they do.

"I'll let you know if I decide I'm tired of it." Gabbro says. Another chuckle. Sanidine's heart soars. Sure, it's only really possible for either of them to be like this because the last loop gave them time to find their footing at the end, but that they can be like this at all is genuinely a huge relief after everything else. "Maybe I'll make you come get them yourself for a couple loops. That way I can be the one sitting in the ship instead."

Their hands fly across the controls, twisting dials, flipping switches, punching in the launch codes. The ship's engines rumble to life, and Sanidine thinks their growl might be a joyful noise, if a ship could be joyful. They suppose theirs might be. The computer acts funny between loops, after all. "You'd have to go get your ship, first. You don't get to sit in my seat."

Their takeoff is only interrupted by their shock when Gabbro, of all people, blows a raspberry into the helmet mic. They sputter into tired, quiet, but very real laughter and slam the throttle forward to full open before twisting it up, giving all of Timber Hearth's crater an echoing wake-up call and causing several of the Ventures crew to grab a radio and start cursing into it. They wouldn't care even if they had their radio tuned to the Ventures frequency properly. They won't be back before the end, anyway, and maybe this'll keep their loved ones from noticing the end approaching for a little bit longer while they try to figure out what that void-brain new astronaut is thinking.

They're about halfway to Giant's Deep when Gabbro comes back on the radio.

"I've actually started cooking the stuff already."

"Thoughtful." Sanidine mutters, trying not to sound as agitated as they feel about this.

"Don't be that way. You know it's not your fault your lungs are weird. Get some food in you, though, like Porphy said."

"What're you, the hatchling house elder?" Sanidine asks, but they get up anyway and go to fetch something to eat. Not the mushroom stew again this time. At least, they decide, there's a decent variety of options in the storage compartment. They choose a tin of preserved fish instead, and lean on the wall to eat, not wanting to get the controls messy.

"You sure wish I was. They at least know how to make some medicinal herbs taste less awful." Gabbro says, and they can hear the sound of the campfire through their microphone.

That gets an unseen rolling of Sanidine's lower eyes, but they reply automatically with a mouthful of fish. It's the only thing they can think of to say. "No. I don't."

"Tsk. Manners, hatchling. No talking with your mouth full."

Sanidine can hear the grin, however hollow the rest of Gabbro's voice still is, and they privately decide that if Gabbro's decided on this bit for the rest of the loop they may as well break the reactor when they go to land and reset them both. They never would, of course, but the thought of the look on Gabbro's face does make them smile a little. They eat quietly, watching Giant's Deep grow larger out the cockpit window, and try not to think about the things that still need talked about.

Once the ship settles onto the sand, Gabbro comes aboard with their cooking pot in one hand and their flute in the other. "Delivery for a Time Buddy. You got something to drink this out of? I strained it already with some bandages from the first-aid kit."

"Uhh." Sanidine looks back. "I. Maybe? Not something I've thought about?"

"Don't take off, then. I'll be right back."

"Like I'd even be able to take back off without you."

Gabbro sets the flute and the medicine down, and heads back outside. Sanidine's eyes linger on the medicine, and they shift so they're sitting sideways in the pilot's seat to get a better look. It's an unpleasant color that almost reminds them of Brittle Hollow, pale and off-blue and not something they at all want to put in their stomach.

They make a face at it.

Gabbro returns with a metal mug, usually to be used for drinking or boiling water. "Found it!"

"I really don't want to drink that, Gabbro." Sanidine says. They kind of hate how petulant they sound, but Gabbro isn't the one being faced with drinking the essence of Giant's Deep in a mug, so Gabbro can deal with them complaining.

"I know. I wouldn't either, but you're going to." Gabbro says, as though this, too, is simply part of the script that the rest of the solar system is now running on. They squat down to transfer the unnerving brew to the mug, then bounce to their feet and give Sanidine a look.

Sanidine has seen this look before, many a time, from many a caretaker, for many a reason. It's the same look that they themselves have given Tephra and their crew when they try to avoid Gneiss despite having caught a shiver or a fever. Having Gabbro of all people give it to them, now of all times, makes their ears flick in irritation and their face grow warm. "Stop that. Stars, it's not like I'm not going to try."

Gabbro gives them a knowing smile. "I know you are. But I also know that if there is any creature in the universe stubborn enough to try to get out of it, it's you, so I'm going to watch until you do."

Sanidine grunts, that delightful little irritated-but-not-really noise that's trying a little too hard to sound indignant, and they take the mug in both hands. It's still a little warm, and they try to appreciate that. The smell is unpleasant, like the wood glue that Slate uses to patch up the landing pad when someone hits it a little hard combined with fresh ink from the print machines.

They give Gabbro one last put-on pathetic little look. It doesn't work. Gabbro just crosses their arms, the traitor.

Down it goes. Well, down it tries to go, but Sanidine almost gags at first when it turns out to be thicker than expected. They dutifully manage, despite their protests. It tastes like it smells, true to Gabbro's warning. Maybe even worse. But after dying several times already they can handle some awful-tasting medicine, they insist to themself.

When they finally gasp, Gabbro grabs their free hand and passes a mashmallow into it, grinning. "There. Might as well chase it with something you actually want to eat."

"Ohh, void take me." Sanidine groans, resisting the urge to throw the cup across the ship. They stuff the marshmallow into their mouth- uncooked, but sugar is sugar- and chew slowly, closing their eyes.

"Yeah. Smelled pretty foul, honestly." Gabbro takes the mug once it's dangling from Sanidine's fingers, the younger astronaut leaning back and trying to let the sweetness of the mallow wash away the medicinal aftertaste. "Hopefully you can get used to it?"

Sanidine groans again. They'd rather not have to, in all honesty, but at least it's not upsetting their stomach despite its flavor. Right now, they're just glad that Gabbro is the one who gave them that first actually-taken dose, because they know in their heart that nobody else would manage to dance that fine line of teasing that never actually tips over into patronizing. Maybe Gabbro would've failed at that, too, if they were still the people they'd been when they first met.

They swallow the mallow and rub their face. "If I can start to get used to burning alive in a supernova, I guess I can get used to drinking. That. Maybe."

Gabbro snorts. "I sure hope so, Sani. I'll pour it down your throat myself if it means I don't have to see you break down like that again."

Sanidine sighs, finally looking back at Gabbro. The mug has disappeared, possibly just thrown out the hatch when Sanidine wasn't looking, and Gabbro's eyes are soft. "You should've been stuck in this with. I don't know. Gossan, or something."

Gabbro goes quiet for a bit, and Sanidine briefly wonders if they've said something that actually has their friend upset. Rather than let themself worry about that, they turn around and power the engines back up, prepping the little ship for launch again. Just in time. They spy a tornado that seems to have designs on them out of the corner of their eye.

"If I was stuck in this with Gossan, I would still be on my beach." Gabbro says, finally, grasping the seat for takeoff. "Because Gossan is Gossan, and I know how to handle Gossan, most of the time. Or I used to. Gossan wouldn't have been here for that second supernova."

Sanidine throttles up just as the tornado hits the island, and the boost sends them skyward even faster than normal, though the ship tumbles a bit as they go. Nothing they can't correct for. Gabbro doesn't even react. "Don't make me feel all special just because I hit your island face first."

Gabbro shakes their head and pokes Sanidine's shoulder. "Don't even start. The point is, things happened they way they did because of who you are. Now we're here. The more things that happen, the more glad I am you're the one with me."

Oh. Sanidine weaves around the probe cannon's wreckage and then looks up at their friend. That sounded so easy to say, and frankly, it's got them a bit shaky on the stick well before the medicine has a chance to set in.

Gabbro meets their gaze, and their eyes are still clear of tears, but they're holding onto the seat awfully tight. "Gossan's right, you know."

Sanidine sighs, killing the engines. They didn't have the strength to talk about this last loop. They really aren't sure they do now, but they know this is a conversation they have to have. "What, about us being similar?"

Gabbro nods. "Yeah, I think so. Maybe. Never would've thought so before all this, but we kind of know each other way too well now, and I see it. The connection Gossan saw."

Sanidine gets up, putting their hand over Gabbro's. "I think I might too, but I don't know if I want to. It's what you said about them pulling you out of that anger, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

The answer makes Sanidine's heart sink, and they wrap Gabbro in a hug. The older astronaut's shaking a bit, and it hurts, and they don't know what else to do. So they start talking about it, because it seems like Gabbro can't.

"When I was little, I thought Feldspar was invincible. We all did, but I believed it." Sanidine starts. Their words are a bit halting. This isn't a story they've told anyone before, not even Hal. Only Gossan knows. "I thought, when I heard stories about the solar system, that Feldspar would show us the way, and one day I’d be able to proudly tell them I found all the answers to all the questions. When they didn't come back, I don't know, it was like something broke. It didn't make sense. Still doesn't. And I got so, so angry. Not even at anything, just."

Sanidine trails off for a moment.

Gabbro closes their eyes, and decides that if Sanidine needs them to start talking, they will. "When it happened, I felt the same way. I wanted to quit the training program. I hated the stars, because of what they took away from us. I hated everything."

Sanidine nods wordlessly. The story is painfully familiar.

"It, was... I didn't know how to talk about it. I only kind of know how to now. And I don't think I could talk about it to anyone else." Gabbro admits. "I spent a couple of days just, numb. Nothing tasted right, nothing felt right, the things I thought were beautiful just looked ugly, and the worst part of it all was that I didn't know how to describe it to anyone. All I knew was, if a constant like Feldspar could just vanish, then it felt like the entire universe had just turned cruel."

"Yeah." Sanidine says, quietly. "It... felt like nothing mattered, right? Like, if Feldspar was that vulnerable, then what chance did we have?"

"Mm. Nobody really understood, either. Just give Gabbro space, they've always been quiet, they can take care of it." Gabbro mumbles, pressing their forehead to Sanidine's, as though it might make this easier to talk about. "You?"

"Hah." Sanidine tries not to sound as bitter as they still feel, when they think about this. "Of course Sani is upset, they loved Feldspar. They'll get over it with some time."

It's not fair, and they both know it, but to vent it makes it feel less recent. Poisonous phantoms of things that were never quite really said, dissipating in the cabin air. Gabbro sighs.

"I left my jacket on Gossan's desk with a note apologizing for leaving the program, and ran. Went to my grove and sat down and just started mindlessly carving a piece of wood."

Sanidine squeezes Gabbro slightly. "The poem grove?"

"Yeah. Only, when my knife didn't hit the wood one time, I just... kept cutting." Gabbro takes a shuddering breath. "Didn't stop until Gossan found me. They managed to bandage me up, and when they talked about how they felt about Feldspar it was like they'd thrown water on a fire, 'cause they actually sounded angry, and tired, just like me, and yet there they were holding me like a sick tadpole."

Sanidine nods. They've been through too much to really feel the horror they know they should at the revelation that the universe came so close to being without Gabbro as well. Just relief that Gossan had saved them, and quiet understanding.

"For me," They say, "I don't know. Nobody was paying attention, they were all too busy being upset in their own way, and I was just a hatchling who didn't really talk about themself much. Even Hal didn't really get it, and I didn't know how to say any of this, same as you. I guess somewhere in my head I decided that the way to handle it was just to find stupid, reckless things to throw myself at. The way the thrill of them felt meant at least I felt something other than anger. And if something happened to me then, oh well, at least I didn't have to feel like that anymore."

Now it's Gabbro's turn to nod, hand tracing an imprecise circle on Sanidine's back.

"Geyser jumping, tree running, anything to take my mind off it. I kinda stopped talking to Hal, because I didn't know how to tell them what was really wrong, even if I had realized it myself. And if Hal didn't get it, when they were the one who always got it, then what was I gonna do, right?" Sanidine grimaces. "I finally messed up enough to get hurt bad when I caught a geyser that was over-pressure. And I think I remember thinking, as I hit the upper atmosphere and it got hard to breathe, well, that's okay. Hal has other friends, and nobody really needs me around, and maybe this way I can stop being so upset all the time."

Gabbro sighs. "That sounds... familiar."

"Yeah. Wish it didn't." Sanidine mumbles, before continuing. "Anyway, I landed in the big crater tree from halfway to space and got torn up, bad. It was the middle of the night, almost nobody was out. Nobody but Gossan."

"They must've been horrified."

"I think they were. I don't remember it very well from there. I know when I woke up that they were there, and I guess in addition to all the other awful things that happen when you fall from that high up I'd managed to puncture my side, just under my lung. If it'd been a little higher up, I doubt I'd ever have been flying. Gossan looked so sad, and they kept visiting to talk to me, and they understood. I guess I told you about that part, back on Giant's Deep, though."

"Told me enough, yeah." Gabbro says, and finally pulls back. Neither Hearthian is crying, or particularly looks sad. They just look and feel tired again, but they need this talk. "A couple of self-destructive hatchlings who don't know how to tell people how they feel. No wonder Gossan thinks we're alike."

"They aren't that wrong, I guess, huh?" Sanidine looks them in the eyes. "How'd you... learn to deal with it? For me, it was a book Hornfels brought me while I was recovering, an unpublished one they had just finished, the first time I'd seen an actual research book trying to talk about the ruins we’d found, who the Nomai might’ve been. It was so much more amazing than the stories, because it was suddenly real and so were they. I decided I'd do anything to know more, to know who they were instead of always feeling like they were made up for a hatchling story. Whenever I'd start to feel that way again, I could just imagine the ruins and relics and things I needed to be the one to find, and push it away. Doesn't work quite as well when the Nomai got me into this time loop mess, I guess. But it’s still there."

No wonder Sanidine brightens every time they're excitedly reading a translation or scouring through a ruin, Gabbro realizes with a start. It's not just a passion, it's the thing that kept them alive. And that sounds achingly familiar as well.

"Chert asked why I didn't come to my training one day, after the incident. They realized I was hurting still. Gave me a book on meditation that helped a lot, and while I was trying to learn that I came up with my theory about the grove being quantum. Things were kinda starting to feel magical again, because as much as Hornfels hates that theory, Chert thinks it might be real. Then a bit later I finally launched, and when I saw everything out here I guess I finally fell in love with how beautiful it could be again."

Sanidine smiles, a tiny, fragile thing. A far cry from the big beaming smile that would look so much more right on their face, but genuine. "Meditation? I always heard you were just a big fan of napping."

Stars. Now Gabbro's smiling too. "I am. You just won't let me get any sleep anymore."

"Hey, you don't have to come with me." Sanidine says. It's a lie. Gabbro knows it, Sanidine knows it. Not coming would kill them both faster and more deeply than the sun ever could. "But now I'm curious. Does that meditation stuff really help?"

"More than you'd think. I've been meaning to show you how, honestly, but I've had trouble getting back to it myself with everything we've had going on." Gabbro glances at the cockpit, watching the Phantom Moon as it cheekily passes by. It's not an unwelcome guest, but it's unexpected. Maybe it's a good sign, they'd like to think. A friendly, shy face, checking in on them before flitting off to wherever it hides when nobody's looking. "You think we can take a loop off? I can try to get the hang of it again, you can learn. Never know when being able to let yourself go for a while can come in handy, even if you don't need it for. You know."

"All of that? Yeah." Sanidine nods. "That sounds nice. Especially after, uh, having to see everyone again. Although don't tell me that means you had me drink that disgusting medicine just to sit around on the ship all loop. My hands are already feeling weird."

"That's exactly what I'm telling you. Think of it as part of your meditation training. Might even help keep that tremor under control while we get through this." Gabbro says, before pulling Sanidine toward the back of the ship. "Either way, if you can learn to let go of how awful the medicine is, you will truly have mastered the art."

Sanidine groans, rolling their lower eyes, but doesn't resist. After all of that, it's nice to have something else to focus on, to be teased and tease back. To feel, for just a while, like the two of them might just form a whole person still.

Chapter Text

Sanidine and Gabbro's little ship drifts along in the black, engines idle. Inside, the pair sit opposite each other.

Learning to meditate is a process. Gabbro has said it multiple times. That doesn't make it easier for Sanidine to find the patience to try, but for Gabbro they'll try as best they can.

At least they've got all the time they could ever ask for. Breathe in. Breathe out. Slow and steady. Eyes closed. Let yourself slip away. Like the statue pulling you out of your body, but gentler, less permanently- stars above, there goes another attempt, swallowed up by the memory of the last loop's end. They open their lower eyes a bit, intending to check on Gabbro before they make another attempt.

Unnervingly, when they look down at their lap, they can see the soft shaking in their hands. It’s uncomfortable, unfamiliar, like there’s a parasite inside of them pulling and twitching and there’s a part of them that thinks if Gabbro wasn’t there, they would claw and claw at their scales until they could pull the imagined parasite out or until the loop reset from blood loss. They want so badly to reach out to them, but when they look over at Gabbro, they pause.

Even Gabbro's having trouble finding their center, and it shows in the tense way they're sitting. Sanidine sighs. For an activity that they practiced so much for over three years to suddenly become so difficult speaks volumes to the things that they've experienced so far. Better not to mention it until their Time Buddy is done, even if it hurts, Sanidine decides.

Unable to calm down enough for another attempt, they rub their eyes before getting up to go look at their ship computer. Maybe they can find the ship’s control tolerances, in case they need to be adjusted to accommodate this supposed lesser of two evils that’s been forced on them. Then again, they’re not sure how much accommodation Slate would’ve been concerned with. People with muscle spasms don’t get cleared to fly, they remind themself bitterly. It’s only by the incredible kindness and trust of Gneiss that they didn’t spend the rest of that loop plotting how to steal their ship back from the launchpad.

The computer retaining information between loops is the kind of thing that they couldn't have imagined they'd be lucky enough to have. It's a lifeline tied around both their waists, and they pat its casing fondly as they boot it up.

Immediately, it opens to a full map of the solar system. The notes they've collected about the Probe Cannon and the translations from the translator are tagged to Giant's Deep, and Timber Hearth has the recipe for Sanidine's medicine pinned to it for quick access. There's a few other questions they've jotted down, as well. There are ruins on nearly every world to explore. The planet of choice of every other astronaut at the beginning of the loop are clearly marked, as well as the anticipated course of the Interloper, though they haven't actually followed it yet to confirm nothing weird happens to it.

They run a trembling hand over the map gently, their worries fading in its glow. It's almost enough to make them feel giddy again, because if nothing had happened they'd be running themself ragged trying to see everything. As awful as their situation is, as much as dying hurts and as much as they never wanted to depend on someone the way they depend on Gabbro, there's no denying that this feels like a blessing to a small part of them still. Unlimited time. Infinite chances to save everyone. A solar system full of wonders, mysteries that they'd never even considered might exist.

Like the Eye of the Universe. Their finger hovers over its name in the log on the right side.

The phrase is one that they've seen only twice now. Nomai relics tend to be left in the ruins, out of respect. But Chert once brought back an odd looking decoration they found while they were out on a prior bout of solar charting, found half-buried by Ash Twin's overeager sands.

It looked like a starburst, many-pointed and asymmetrical, built of intricate metalwork. Riebeck, Hornfels, fresh-faced trainee astronaut-anthropologist Sanidine, and proud apprentice linguist Hal had spent four days straight discussing it, examining it, gently sampling the metal.

Hal and Sanidine had the breakthrough, thanks to already starting to work on the Nomai translation system that would become the basis for their prototype tool. The script etched into the metal, on the back, near the center, matched the known words for Eye and Universe. Hornfels wondered whether it could've been religious, though the other three quickly shot that down- there had been no sign of religion in any other ruin or relic they'd found. While their understanding of the language was in its infancy then, they felt quite confident in that.

They never did quite figure out what the artifact was about, but the symbol appeared once more on a ruined piece of wall next to some text about the Attlerock, a final key piece before the translation project finished. Sanidine can still it see in their mind's eye, in a display at the museum, an idle curiosity now. The memory hurts a bit, remembering the enthusiastic and bright-eyed hatchlings they and Hal had been while poring over the script and cross-referencing characters. They try to shake it off. Maybe sometime they'll try to draw that symbol and add it to their note about what the Nomai were seeking.

Their heart feels heavy again. If it isn't their own memories, it's the names they've found in Nomai writings, ones that never quite felt so real until now. This isn't helping them get in the right space for meditating at all. They turn, looking back at Gabbro, and aren't at all surprised to see that their time buddy is looking at them too.

"No good, huh?" Gabbro asks, after a moment.

Sanidine shakes their head, ears twitching lower a notch. "Not yet. You?"

Gabbro sighs, getting to their feet as well. "No. But I could feel myself getting close to the point of slipping away. Just hard to let go right now."

"I don't know how close I got. I kept remembering what the statue felt like every time I was getting anywhere at all." Sanidine admits, and Gabbro gives them a small smile that suggests they know exactly what they mean.

"We could both probably use a little break, then. Were you looking at something specific?"

Sanidine closes their eyes for a moment, then sighs and rubs at their right palm with their thumb. "Kinda. Started out looking for control-surface tolerances."

Gabbro frowns. "Ah. Medicine finally actually did its thing, then. Another reason to work on the meditation. Who knows, it might help, right? You still good?"

Sanidine opens their eyes again, reaching for Gabbro's hand reflexively. "Yeah. It’s nothing I can't handle for now, I guess. I’m not looking forward to actually flying like this, Gabbro. I’m scared. But I know you won’t let me get away with not taking it just because of that."

Gabbro doesn't hesitate to take their hand. That shaking tremor feels so out of place. Gabbro runs their thumb over the back of Sanidine's hand, and as Sanidine turns back to the computer they peek over their shoulder, resting their chin on their Time Buddy and letting their captive hand rest against the other astronaut’s stomach. They never really liked being touched or touching others that much before, but with Sanidine, it feels reassuring. Warm. Solid. A reaffirmation that they won't leave each other alone.

The sight of the translator's output on the screen makes them smile a little bit. Of course that’s what had Sanidine’s attention. "I understand. You’re right, by the way. Medicine is non-optional.”

Gabbro smiles a little bit at the annoyed grunt that Sanidine gives them.

“Looking at those Nomai translations again?"

Sanidine nods, sinking back into Gabbro's chest with a sigh. "I want to know what they were looking for. The Eye of the Universe. They built and destroyed that massive gravity cannon just to look for it, it has to be important, maybe even connected to all of this."

Gabbro nods gently, trying not to bother their friend's ear in the process. Sanidine's ear flutters anyway. "You have any idea what it is now? You never did explain."

The younger astronaut frowns. "I wish I did. We found some kind of decoration, once, and it had the words Eye and Universe engraved in it- that was a manual translation, but I'm pretty sure we got it right- but we never did figure out what it meant."

Ah. Sanidine seems a little flustered by that. "Hmm. I suppose you academic types covered all of the bases."

"Yeah, so for it to show up again here, it must be something important to them somehow, even if it doesn’t wind up important to our problems." Sanidine squeezes Gabbro's captive hand. "It's just another thing we need to look into, right?"

Gabbro returns the squeeze. They definitely feel the tremor running through their friend with the motion, and it leaves them wishing they could do more to stop it. "Throw it on the pile, Time Buddy. We still have to go back to the probe cannon, too."

Sanidine manages a small smile, and their ears perk up. "And figure out what the deal is with that statue workshop."

The sound of Sanidine's smile in their words brings a smile to Gabbro's face as well. They don't know if Sanidine will wind up being compared to the legends about Feldspar for their strength in the loop, as painful as telling others someday is to think about, but they're absolutely certain that their Time Buddy is well on the way to being a better astronaut anyway.

Sanidine finally lets go of Gabbro's hand, after a few minutes of silence. They turn to face their Time Buddy, and the pair are both smiling even if it's a tired, small kind of smile, and for once the crushing weight of the time loops can't take that away from them. "Next loop, we'll get back to it. We'll go somewhere. See that other chamber in the probe cannon and then, I don't know, maybe we'll go look at the Nomai ruins on the Attlerock or something. I'm open to ideas."

"Only problem with the Attlerock is that we'll basically have to at least say hi to Esker." Gabbro observes. They don't need to tell their time buddy how little they feel ready to see Esker, or any of the Hearthians. It's a shared feeling.

It doesn't destroy the small smiles they've fought so hard for the way Sanidine is afraid it will, and Sanidine leans on the computer’s casing. Being able to do this, to take a moment to breathe and not worry about who they’re becoming or how they’re going to fix everything, is something they didn't know would feel this relieving. To do it without either of them suffering or falling apart is like a breath of fresh air. However long it lasts, they choose to enjoy it.

"We'll see how we're feeling, right?" As though they would be feeling up to being that close to home already. Even as steady as they are at the moment, the thought sends a shock of panic into them, though they force it down by meeting Gabbro's eyes again. A soft grin pulls at their lips. “There's plenty of things to choose from. Maybe take a chance on that ruined city Riebeck found. Last time I was on Brittle Hollow I only hung around for a short bit."

Gabbro snorts. "Oh, that was bad. Not even I would've gone for that one."

"You didn't go for that one. You punched out early. Not that I don't appreciate it still." Sanidine's voice still carries a soul-deep weariness, but there's almost a playfulness to it. They're grinning now.

Gabbro knows they don't sound any better. It doesn't matter. They grin back. "Consider it payback for the stunt you pulled leaving me all alone at the Statue Workshop."

"Oh, sorry, next time I'll leave my ship in the ocean like you. That way when one of us breaks our back we can just lay there instead."

"Maybe the ocean's safer with the crazy way you've been landing."

"Excuse me, my landings at least on average have more than half of those aboard surviving, and for a pilot who's never launched before today that's pretty good I think!"

This back and forth is easy to slide into for the moment, but it feels like it carries more importance now than their limited, weary bantering in the past. It feels like a hard-won prize, like something they earned by pulling each other through to this. A precious thing they now have between them, something to be treasured and guarded. They feel so much freer without trying so hard to cling to the idea that their deaths can't be talked about, can't be defanged with attempts at humor. It's a part of their existence, for now. This just feels like they're choosing to accept it finally, instead of running from it.

They don’t know who that means they are, now. The Sanidine that left Timber Hearth back then would’ve probably been aghast at this stranger in their body who’s so willing to accept death. Before Sanidine can slip into that thought, Gabbro makes another sarcastic comment, and they’re brought straight back to the moment to come up with a comeback.

After a bit of this, the two fall quiet, appreciating the chance to see a genuine grin on the other person's face. It doesn't fix the haunted look behind their eyes, but for once, it feels like they've made progress that they can actually cling to.

It's nice, when so little has been even that good for what feels like so long. The only thing that hurt, this loop, was a conversation they chose to have. Neither of them regrets it. The pair haven't felt anything close to this since they sat on the beach and talked about Quantum poetry, before the people they used to be were scattered to the void. Before they were forced to be Time Buddies so that they could be anything at all. They both know the loops are far from over, and that they'll inevitably suffer again, and break again. They know that every death will leave scars on them both, no matter how much they find it in them to joke, even if they manage to keep their heads up despite them. They know the stakes all too well, that if they don't find a solution, everything they've ever known and loved will be lost forever to the inevitable cruelty of an exploding star. They don't want to consider that they may be forced to keep reliving it forever, an eternity of loss and grief.

For this moment, they can smile, and trade bad jokes and little quips they don't mean, and it makes it all feel a little less suffocating.

They eventually wind up sliding down together in front of the computer. They settle into sitting beside each other, not wanting to move too far away just yet. Another couple of minutes pass.

"I think," Sanidine finally says, their hand having found its way to rest on Gabbro's, "that I'm ready to try again now."

"Yeah." Gabbro agrees. They hesitantly pull their hand back, but don't move any further away. "Good luck, Sani."

"Good luck, Gabbro."

They close their eyes, and return to their attempts.

They're still sitting there trying when the supernova washes over them, some time later, on the edge of meditating but never quite reaching it. It still helps dull the pain.

The universe ends.

Chapter Text

Gabbro perks up from the cooking pot they’re leaning over, hearing familiar rockets fighting to echo against the wind and noise of Giant’s Deep. Sanidine’s ship soars overhead, right on schedule, or whatever counts as a schedule for the two of them. Though, actually, the medicine isn’t quite ready. Leave it to Sanidine to be early somehow. 

They switch the radio off and straighten up, stretching. For all that Sanidine was worried- is still worried- about burdening their friend, getting up and moving while waiting for the ship to come is helping Gabbro process things. Sure, meditation used to work just as well, but meditation doesn’t prepare medicine and after the prior loop they aren’t at all confident in their ability to let themself slip into a trance.

Sanidine puts the ship on the ground. As they power its systems down, Gabbro waves. They can’t help but smile faintly as the only other person left in the universe pops out underneath the vessel. No suit again. They wonder if the young astronaut’s insistence on subjecting themself to Giant’s Deep unprotected is born of the time loop, or of excitement to reach the familiar camp.

“What, didn’t want to wait for me to come over?” Gabbro asks. “Impatient. We have plenty of time. Besides, you’re early, time buddy.”

“Early because I tried something I read about once.” Sanidine says, hands on their hips as they approach. “Timber Hearth gives me a nice little gravity boost. Shaves some time off.”

“Well, you’re too early.” Gabbro turns to them as they reach the campfire. “This needs a minute or two more to finish cooking. Last time was just about perfect timing, I had time to strain it and everything. Why do you have to mess with perfect timing?”

The two stare at each other for a moment, daring the other to crack first. It’s Sanidine who finally lunges forward to hug Gabbro, heaving a sigh that sounds heavy. “I’m glad you’re still okay, Gabbro. I almost thought last time was a dream, even after hearing you over the radio.”

Gabbro wraps Sanidine in a hug right back. It’s tempting to feel like they can shield each other, after how gentle the last loop felt. Like they could maybe throw themself in front of the supernova and actually protect the other astronaut, or at least block out the light for a minute. “Same to you, Sani. I was a little afraid the meditation attempts just put me to sleep. Didn’t want to ask until you got here, so you could focus on flying. And eating. You did eat again, didn’t you?”

“Er.” Sanidine’s face flushes purple. They don’t look Gabbro in the eye as they step back, wringing their hands. They already know Gabbro is going to worry, and above that, that Gabbro is going to use this as an excuse to poke fun into the next loop. “I forgot.”

“You forgot.” Gabbro says, flatly.

“It’s not like I’m hungry when I wake up.” Sanidine’s ears are feeling warm now, from the way Gabbro is looking at them, like suddenly they aren’t entirely sure Sanidine can be trusted to fly here without the reminder. “And you know I’m always in a hurry to get here, and you’d complain if I took my time.”

Gabbro sighs. It’s less of a resigned noise than Sanidine’s was earlier, and less weighed down by the situation they’re in. Mostly, it sounds frustrated. “I would. But I’m giving you a reminder next loop, so that I can focus on watching the tornadoes instead of worrying.”

“If you want, you can watch the tornadoes all morning so I can pick you up and not have to drink that sludge.” Sanidine says, before sighing and walking over to Gabbro’s camp supplies. “I’ll get some food in me.”

It’s one of the difficult things of being in a time loop already, they figure, trying to think. Not mushrooms or fish this time. What all did Gabbro even pack, anyway? Why are the labels all missing? It’s hard to remember, sometimes, that their body still has to at least make it to whatever kills them, and that it’s not as simple as just going until they fall over. If they don’t make it to the right thing, then Gabbro suffers. They know they shouldn’t have thought about that as soon as the thought takes shape- it brings back the actual memory of the day they got impaled, and that makes them think about Gabbro’s face, and the guttural scream they let out as-

Gabbro puts a hand on their shoulder, suddenly. They’re there. Sanidine inhales sharply.

“Time buddy. Stay with me, huh? I don’t know what you got lost in, but you’ve been picking at the same can for half a minute now like you’re trying to peel it.”

Sanidine looks down at their hands. A small, flat square can of something, with a few scratches visible on the lid. They take a deep breath, then look up at the other astronaut, focusing on their face, their voice. Gabbro, who’s standing right there, not Gabbro who just watched them die horribly. Slow exhale. Try to use some of the things Gabbro was emphasizing in the last loop to re-center. “Okay. I’m here. Sorry, it was, you know.”

“I do.” Gabbro says, simply. Nothing more has to be said. “Your medicine’s about ready to filter. Hurry up and eat, you probably don’t want this stuff when it’s cold.”

“Stars no. I’ll radio Gossan and tell him you’re trying to poison me.” Sanidine says, and they pop the tin open, looking down. Some kind of packed grain bar, or something that resembles a grain bar. Probably one of the “nutritional” options. They make a face, then wander over to sit by the campfire and eat, watching Gabbro filter the medicine through a bandage.

It’s not the worst thing in the world, they decide. Bottom of the list in terms of the meals they’ve had to eat recently, but they’d take it over the medicine if they had a choice. There’s even some dried berries in there, but they aren’t the good dried berries.

They wonder if Gabbro is using the same bandage they used last loop. It feels like a Gabbro thing to do, to decide that this bandage is the medicine bandage, even if it’s technically a new bandage each time the loop resets. Or is it the same bandage at an earlier point in time?

Maybe the Nomai figured that one out, they think. Whichever Nomai built the void-damned statues that did this to begin with, they hope they kept extensive notes somewhere. They take another bite of the grain bar, deciding Gabbro might be better suited to this kind of theorizing, because it makes their head spin a bit.

Gabbro looks at their Time Buddy and squints. The bar is, if they remember what Porphy said, nutritionally complete- it’s dense enough to fill Sanidine’s stomach to the point they can take the medicine. But it certainly isn’t what they figured Sanidine would pick. On top of that, they can just about see Sanidine thinking away. The other astronaut at least doesn’t look distressed this time.

They sigh, turning their attention to the filtered medicine, sitting there in the metal cup. Sanidine doesn’t deserve to have to deal with this, but if they don’t, then that awful coughing will come back, then the wheezing, rasping breaths. The fever that onset so, so quickly. The way they couldn’t even properly swallow water, choking to death in the middle of their own ship, their eyes glassy and-

“Gabbro!”

Sanidine’s voice. Gabbro gasps. When did their Time Buddy get up? Stars, they’re shaking, their arm is shaking in Sanidine’s grip and they didn’t even realize. They thought they were doing better than that.

They frown, patting Sanidine’s hand. Like their friend before them, they take a deep breath, then exhale slowly. Let the panic and hurt wash away, as best they can. It’s not quite meditation, but it still helps. “Sorry, Sani. It’s still easy to get lost, isn’t it?”

“No kidding.” Sanidine says, finally letting go once Gabbro looks at them in the eye. “And here I thought we were actually doing pretty okay this time.”

“Hey, better than a lot of the other times, buddy.” Gabbro picks up the medicine cup, offering it to Sanidine with a tired smile. “C’mon. Let’s get this over with so we can go do something other than stop each other from remembering things.”

Sanidine picks up the cup, grimacing at the pale blue concoction. They steel themself as best anyone possibly can.. “You know what? That’s a good enough reason.”

Just like before, as soon as it’s gone, Gabbro passes them a marshmallow. They chew it while their friend grabs their flute and jetpack, and the two head back to the ship. This time, no tornado threatens to chase them off the island.

Sanidine tries not to feel like Giant’s Deep is taking pity on them, as they get their suit on.

The Orbital Probe Cannon is an obvious enough first stop that Gabbro doesn’t even bother to look at the computer’s map, just waiting for Sanidine to break clouds and locate the wreckage. It’s unfinished business, and as much as they’d rather not explore Giant’s Deep itself for the moment, the pair do want to see that other remaining module.

It’s pure chance that Sanidine’s approach catches the broken module in the ship’s spotlights. They frown, looking back at Gabbro and steadying the light. “Wonder why this one got so mangled.”

“Same reason it got rid of the third one.” Gabbro says, shrugging. They don’t elaborate on the reason. Honestly, Sanidine finds that reassuring, a sign that Gabbro’s started to find their footing again after the problems they both had earlier.

They hope they can say the same for themself, but they aren’t entirely sure. If they’re careful in here, they figure, they won’t have to test it. It’s just the Probe Cannon.

Sanidine lines the ship up with the entry tunnel. This time, there’s no jerking sideways motion. They lean back a bit as the beam captures them completely smoothly, and flick off the main engines before it even touches down, trying to ignore that their hands felt so unsteady on the stick near the end there. The medicine kicking in. From what Porphy said, the worst effects run through first couple hours... but it will no doubt be a problem until the end of the loop.

Porphy also seemed to think that “the side effects improve quickly as your body adapts to the root” was going to help. And maybe it would’ve, under normal circumstances. Porphy couldn’t know that Sanidine’s body will never have a chance to adapt to much of anything. At any rate, they try to brace themself for the onset.

“Hey, much better, Sani. You’re improving.” Gabbro gives them a nod. From anyone else, they might think it was sarcastic. They’re pretty sure Gabbro isn’t, because right now they think they’re both a little too unsteady for it, and it really is a far sight better than their last attempt to dock at the cannon. Gabbro doesn’t need to know what they’ve just noticed, not yet.

So instead they nod back, then pop the hatch and drop out, their Time Buddy close behind.

It really is incredible, Sanidine thinks, how knowing that you can’t properly die changes your perspective on spacewalks.They felt so nervous their first time here. So fragile, afraid of slipping away from the platform, afraid of the Nomai technology that they want so badly to study the use of. And now they just hope that, if something does happen to them, Gabbro isn’t left to be alone.

Gabbro follows Sanidine into the structure. They both move so confidently this time. No more hesitation before opening the Nomai airlock. No more worrying when they enter the Cannon structure itself. It’s probably reckless, but Gabbro can’t even find it in them to feel more than a pang of dread about the supernova in that moment, with the sun passing across their field of view. A little bit of EVA that might leave them suffocating in space feels almost recreational in comparison, not that they’re eager to find out how long dying in a vacuum takes.

Sanidine boosts to the two-pip tunnel, placing their hands on the rubble for a moment and frowning. They pull out the translator and aim it at the entry sign. Or, at least, they try to, taking a sharp breath and trying to will their hands to stop shaking. The lens can’t quite get focused, and they feel a helpless, angry scream welling up in their throat.

Gabbro’s heart sinks a little at the way the translator’s scan-lights are jittering, seeing the way Sanidine’s shoulders hunch together. They fly over, placing their hands on Sanidine’s shoulders from behind. “Having trouble?”

Sanidine closes their eyes, leaning into Gabbro’s hold, as though that will give them back the deft control they had two loops ago before the medicine became just another part of the loop to dread. Maybe Gabbro can’t do that, but they let that anger cool, and it feels like it cools so much faster just for being held by their Time Buddy. And, just like it always is, that feels like it just might be enough to keep going, to learn to adjust like Porphy said they can. Porphy might be a void-brained sap tapper sometimes, but they aren’t usually wrong about things like this.

“I shouldn’t be,” they finally say, numbly. They can’t take knowing Gabbro is giving them that concerned, not pitying but worried kind of look that they’re growing to know so well. The look that hurts somewhere they don’t want to show the other astronaut just now. Gabbro probably already knows it hurts, anyway, and if pressured Sanidine would probably prefer to be looked at that way than with some kind of fake passivity. They’re starting to wonder if they’ll reach a point where they simply share everything they feel without having to speak it, since it already feels like they can't hide anything properly anyway. “I’m gonna throw a batch of that stuff at Porphy when we get out of this for telling me this is supposed to be mild.”

Gabbro squeezes Sanidine’s arms gently. Sanidine disengages the translator, and the two Time Buddies drift quietly for a minute.

Finally, Sanidine grunts, looking over at the two-pip tunnel. “Porphy said I can adjust, so I can adjust. I can do this, I’m fine.”

“Don’t lie to me, Sani.” Gabbro says. It’s not an accusation, just a gentle reminder. “If this is too much for you, we can radio Gneiss together to ask for advice. We’ll make it work.”

Sanidine breathes for a moment. They consider it. Talking to Gneiss, talking to anyone already would simply reopen all the wounds they just managed to stem the bleeding from. It might do the same to Gabbro, and to suggest it, they know, is a tremendously brave and phenomenally stupid thing to do.

Come to think of it, it feels more like their kind of idea, acting on impulse and then deciding if they need to regret later. Like the landing on Timber Hearth which, despite probably making Slate all the angrier, was absolutely on the mark. Or the ill-fated explanation they gave Hal, which they’d rather not think about, but which had been their decision, not Gabbro’s. The taller astronaut normally feels far more contemplative, even in the emotionally broken moments they’ve shared. Sanidine quietly hopes that they don’t lose that part of them, the part that mused about art on a beach, even if the two people they were then may as well be strangers now.

“I’ll manage. We don’t need to risk that.” They finally say, before turning to face Gabbro. The older astronaut can faintly see their familiar tired smile behind their visor as they let go. “And that’s the truth. I don’t think I can lie to you anymore, anyway. Kinda feels like there’s nowhere left to hide anything. Anyway, we need to find another way in. This tunnel’s blocked.”

Gabbro watches Sanidine for a moment, then follows them as they jet back toward the entrance tunnel. Nowhere left to hide anything. It’s odd, but it’s true, they decide. Funny, in a morbid way. Of course the oppressive brightness of the supernova left them so badly exposed to each other, with no shadows to hide any secrets anymore.

The gravity lift is a welcome sight. The pair slip up into it and enter the ship, and Sanidine is in their seat before Gabbro can finish closing the hatch.

“Time buddy? You okay?” They ask, as gently as they know how.

Sanidine grunts. It’s still that same noncommittal annoyed noise, and Gabbro still finds it endearing. At least some small parts of them are still actually intact, somehow, instead of being propped up by fragile bravado born of painful immortality and half-desperate jokes.

Sanidine eases the throttle, and the ship accelerates slowly off the Nomai landing beam. It’s unusual for Sanidine to try to be gentle or delicate to the ship, after the way they’ve flown the last several loops.

Gabbro wonders if they’re doing it just to prove to themself that they can, despite the tremors. They lean against the seat to watch. It’s almost comfortable there, honestly, and not only because of being beside Sanidine. If they really do get out of this entire mess, maybe they’ll convince Slate to add a copilot seat to the ship, or at least some kind of shelf next to the cockpit to sit on.

Then again, if Slate never wanted to modify this masterpiece, they would understand. The way the thrusters respond as Sanidine focuses on feathering the controls feels as graceful as the main engines do powerful, and for a moment, Gabbro lets themself wonder just how good Sanidine might get with a ship like this and unlimited time, muscle tremors or no.

Sure, it’s been in pieces more than once, and ultimately killed its young pilot twice stop thinking about it, Gabbro. But even with all that, and even never having flown it, they can tell it’s a magnificent machine. Every bit the ship someone like Sanidine deserves, time loop or no, they think.

The ship matches its velocity automatically at the press of a button on Sanidine’s left. The hatch isn’t really lined up with the broken glass of the other chamber, and for a moment Gabbro knows they see a flicker of disappointment on their Time Buddy’s face.

For Sanidine, it’s closer to heartbreak. The ship had just been starting to feel like an extension of their body, and now they’re forced to start over by something they can’t control. But Gabbro’s already trying to help them. They’re not dealing with this alone any more than any of the rest of the time loops. They undo their harness, getting up and nodding to Gabbro. As long as they’re together, they think, they can tolerate the process of learning and adjusting all over again. Right now, they take a second to adjust the lenses in the translator, gritting their teeth with effort to try and steady their fingers.

Satisfied enough for the time being, they go to the hatch and kneel down.

There’s exploring to do.

Chapter Text

“You know,” Sanidine says, slapping tape onto the third hole their suit has received since they left the ship, “I think I prefer the ruins that don’t have a bunch of broken glass.”

Gabbro smiles, turning their attention away from the twisted remains of the control track. They’ve managed to avoid getting caught more than twice on the way into the Launch Module, but Sanidine is less lucky. At least, with the ship right outside, they don’t have to be worried about the air they’ve lost. “You mean, the all of two other places that we’ve been to? One of which you died at? And that’s not counting Brittle Hollow.”

Sanidine slides the tape into its pouch and crosses their arms at Gabbro.“Yes. You honestly trying to argue they weren’t less of a stars-forsaken pain in the behind?”

“Well, I suppose they weren’t for you.” Gabbro says, shrugging. They immediately feel a pang of that cold, heavy dread as they say it, and they see Sanidine’s shoulders slump a little. Wrong thing to say, too close to a shared wound that might never properly close, the gaping hole in their friend’s chest left by the cruelty of chance.

Sanidine kicks off the gravity paneling to fly past them, grabbing their arm and pulling them toward the Nomai wall nearby. They’re not about to let Gabbro start to feel guilty like this, nor are they going to give it room to sink into them. They have enough to try not to feel guilty about, enough to try not to think about, and they do not need more of it.

Gabbro, of course, doesn’t complain about the distraction or try to stop Sanidine’s sudden motion. They grip their jetpack control with their free hand, but Sanidine doesn’t let go for them to use it. “I’m coming, I’m coming.”

“Yeah. You are.” Sanidine glances back. Gabbro can imagine the look of concern and slight exasperation, Sanidine torn between apologizing for letting the banter go that way and worrying that Gabbro might still be stuck in the thought.

As the pair land again, Sanidine turns around to stare at Gabbro for a moment.

“I’m okay.” Gabbro says, patting Sanidine’s arm reassuringly. Then, quieter, “Thank you.”

Sanidine nods once. Nothing more needs to be said. They turn back to the wall, rubbing their left palm this time. They hope, deeply, that the adjustments they made to the lenses will help correct. They know they could handle the translation tool to Gabbro, and that might be the only person other than Hal they’d be willing to give it to, ever. And they could, as possessive as they are of the invention, live with Gabbro running the tool while they figured out how to handle their own body again.

They just don’t want to. This is their triumph, one of the few things they still feel like they can own together with Hal.

They grab the nearest stone. Definitely a symbol they haven’t seen before, which is encouraging in its own right. They take three attempts to fit it into the wall’s pedestal, but ultimately succeed before Gabbro’s attempt to reach for them succeeds, and their Time Buddy pulls their hand back for the moment.

Sanidine catches the motion out of the corner of their eye, but they say nothing. They would’ve done the same thing, they know it. They can’t blame Gabbro for being worried, as much as part of them wants to. They unfasten their pouch, pulling the translator free, and try not to let their anxious feelings cause their tremors to worsen.

Their finger presses down on the READ button. The translator’s lights flick on, and their breath hangs in their throat, and they can’t make it stop shaking, and-

MALLOW: Imagine, Privet: the Probe Tracking Module will be the first to know the coordinates of the Eye of the universe! You’ll be the first to see them!

“Thank the stars above.” Sanidine manages to mumble, barely processing the words on the screen at first. Gabbro’s hand is on their shoulder, gentle, reassuring. Relief washes over both of them in waves.

Their eyes refocus. The Eye of the Universe. Privet again. Mallow again. Their heart skips a beat and they lift the screen for their Time Buddy’s sake. “Gabbro, look.”

“I see it.” Gabbro purses their lips for a moment, thinking. Then they smile. “You think this Mallow person was named after the marshmallow? Or perhaps they invented it and left it for future generations.”

Sanidine snorts, folding the translator and putting it away again. “You know what, Gabbro, I can tell you that if a Nomai was responsible for the marshmallow, they would be the greatest inventor of all time.”

Gabbro shrugs, stepping around Sanidine to retrieve the stone. “I suppose I can’t argue with that. Do you think that hallucination-pool-thing still works?”

“One way to find out.” Sanidine says, reaching for Gabbro’s free hand. “Don’t let go of me, though. Even if I’m not half-dead from coughing, this is, uh.”

Gabbro, of course, takes Sanidine’s hand easily, starting to lead them toward the pool. They look up at the track again. The shape is kind of pretty, in its way, despite the destruction it represents. Maybe because of it, they think. Like the horrible beauty of the supernova’s color, if it didn’t come with the memory of searing pain and suffocating heat. “Disorienting?”

“Yeah. The only reason I realized it wasn’t some kind of teleporter so quickly, last time, is because I was staring at your visor so hard.” Sanidine has never been more glad for their helmet, feeling warmth flooding their face. Why, after everything they’ve poured out of themself in front of Gabbro, does it feel like this is hard to admit?

Because unlike everything else, they reason, this is the first time they’ve admitted something so hatchlingish in front of Gabbro, and not been joking about it. Everything else has been the jumbled-up pieces of dead Sanidines, emotions and thoughts that nobody else in the universe could possibly understand. And somehow this is what makes them feel embarrassed again, like the way they’d squeaked out their words on Giant’s Deep or the undignified noise they’d made the first time they came here.

Gabbro just gently squeezes their hand. “Yeah, it is. I won’t let go.”

The relief eases the embarrassment, a little. “Thanks, Gabbro.”

“Of course. We’re Time Buddies. Besides, that thing really is disorienting, even if I think the effect is kind of nice to look at.”

Sanidine smiles at that, watching Gabbro seat the stone. The pedestals come together, and they feel the not-metal pooling around their boots, and that hum invades their ears again.

Sanidine squints for a moment. It takes a second to process that this isn’t just viewing the Control Module again, but something else entirely. Flashes of lightning illuminate the dark outside the window, brilliant streaks of violet and indigo reflected on the liquid-metal statues that they’re represented by. “I’m guessing this is the third module. But where are we?”

“I wonder.” Gabbro frowns. There’s a familiar feeling to this place, and they want to take in as much of the sight as they can, even if they can’t quite place what’s familiar about it at that very moment. “At least it doesn’t look like it was destroyed? Assuming this isn’t some kind of recording.”

Sanidine looks at the pool of gold on the ceiling. It’s enticing, after everything they learned the last time they found something like that, but it’s just out of reach. They’re staring, fixated. “I don’t know if it is or not. We found some broken audio recorders before, but nothing that could do this. And now we know there’s more than one of them, and that’s, that’s incredible. And the Nomai here, they were looking for the Eye of the Universe, whatever it is, and- Gabbro, this is one of the biggest developments since the Hanging City was first spotted, and we’re only just getting started, can you imagine how much we can learn-”

Gabbro pauses, taking a moment to look at the younger Hearthian as they ramble. There it is. Sanidine’s wide-eyed, breathless excitement over the Nomai, something they now understand is so very fragile. They file the odd familiarities of this third module away for later, after the two have a chance to confirm this isn’t just a recording of some kind. They’re still listening to their Time Buddy, though, following along as best they can. Now Sanidine’s talking about some theory Riebeck had about them coming to this system from the outside.

Their suits issue an alert siren, loud and high-pitched enough to break through their mutual distraction. Low Oxygen, warning 3. Fifteen seconds. How were they both so engrossed that they didn’t notice the first two? They both jump slightly, then Sanidine’s in motion again before Gabbro has a chance to realize they’re being pulled, kicking off the gravity plating without hesitation.

Sanidine boosts to clear the window, then swings Gabbro around in front. As soon as their Time Buddy is back aboard the ship, they’re coming in behind them, and the hiss of refilling oxygen tanks fills the air. Too close, even with the loop. They would’ve hated to have that be the end of such a short trip, and Gabbro would never let them hear the end of it.

“Whew!” They exclaim, taking two tries to grasp the clasp on their helmet seal and not even getting frustrated at their hand missing the first time. They pull their helmet off and shake out their ears, then give Gabbro a tired smile. “Sorry. I, um, wasn’t in a great place to recognize how crazy that thing was before, I guess I got a little carried away?”

Gabbro pulls their own helmet off, shaking their ears out as well. They grin back, then step forward to pull Sanidine into a tight hug. “No, no, never apologize for that. Not to me, okay? That was great. I want to hear it.”

Sanidine blinks. They, don’t really- what? Even from Gabbro, that seems. Odd. Even Hal would need them to slow down, though unlike many other people they never told them they weren’t interested. They don’t quite think anyone has ever wanted them to ramble on like that before.

They’re not sure how to respond at all, so they just return the hug and close their eyes, leaning on Gabbro for a minute.

“We still have plenty of time,” Gabbro says, after a moment, and that brings them back to reality.

“Yeah. We do, don’t we?” Sanidine leans back, looking Gabbro in the eyes. “Brittle Hollow? I’m pretty sure you could spend a lifetime there and not find everything, but, well. We have to start somewhere.”

Gabbro nods, then gives them that tired grin again. The pair both wonder when their expressions will stop showing the weight they feel so constantly. “As long as you promise not to cut my loop short with a reactor breach this time.”

“Blame Hollow’s Lantern.” Sanidine rolls their lower eyes, then heads to their seat and drops into it again. “Or blame your insistence on eating right then and there, I guess. But I think my landing was pretty good under the circumstances, so I’m not taking the blame for that one.”

“You know, you did handle it pretty well.” Gabbro admits, taking up their position against the back of the chair. “I’m pretty sure I would’ve put us nose down into the ruin and given Riebeck the worst day of their life when they came to investigate the crash.”

“Hm. Didn’t consider Riebeck.” Sanidine says. They gently put their hands on the controls, squeezing a bit, as though it’ll solve the way their grip shakes. The feeling of the stick bouncing slightly against their palm anyway makes them grimace. “If we run into them, uh. You gonna be okay?”

“As long as you don’t make me do all the talking.” They can feel Gabbro’s eyes boring into the back of their head, as they guide the ship back away from the ruined cannon. They try to ignore the way their Time Buddy’s voice wavers, because that shaky confidence feels like something they’ll both need to survive a potential meeting. “Are you going to be okay?”

Sanidine focuses on the controls, trying not to look back at them. They don’t need to see Gabbro’s expression to know what’s going through their head, and they’re fine, thank you. Their first attempt at aligning manually toward Brittle Hollow, and the nose drifts to the right. Fine-adjacent. “I’m going to try to be. If only so they don’t get anxious about us ignoring them. Riebeck doesn’t deserve to-”

Their throat tightens. Riebeck doesn’t deserve to die at all, but they’re going to, and it still hurts to think about. Another attempt. Better. Off by an acceptable degree, as Gossan would say when they were good enough but not really good, which is almost more frustrating. At least it’s enough to get moving with. They throttle up, then look back at Gabbro at last, ears lowering. “Riebeck doesn’t deserve thinking we’re ignoring them, or whatever they’d decide, for however long they have left. It took them so much to even get out here at all, and you know how nervous they get.”

“Yeah.” Gabbro says, moving their hands to Sanidine’s shoulders as their eyes meet again. Neither of them wants to acknowledge the real worry, buried in that concern. The worry that, eventually, they might stop- or might be forced to stop- worrying about what’s going to happen to their loved ones. It’s easy in the moment to decide they would never, they wouldn’t and they’d never let the other astronaut do it either. But they would’ve said that about accepting the inevitably- and the impermanence- of their own deaths, too, back when they’d only died once or twice.

And now they make jokes, even if the death will still hurt, so that it hurts less.

Sanidine sighs. As the ship burns toward Brittle Hollow, they get up, turning to take Gabbro’s hands and putting themself between their Time Buddy and the back of the seat. “I don’t even know if they’d think that. Usually, when we met up to talk, it was about the Nomai. But I don’t want to risk it. It’s not worth hurting them.”

Gabbro nods. It’s so easy for their eyes to simply linger on each other’s, and thinking about Riebeck reminds Gabbro how difficult that is with anyone else. It’s an odd feeling, to be so okay with being so seen. “It’s not. How much did you two work together?”

“Mm. Not as much as I think maybe we should, now.” Sanidine says. Their hands feel so much steadier with Gabbro’s fingers wrapped around them. “Is it funny that I kinda felt jealous of them? That they were older, so they’d get to go explore first?”

“Only because they’d think you’re crazy for it.” Gabbro smiles a little. “Maybe a bit low on the list of things you could say to make them think you’re crazy, now.”

Sanidine snorts, shaking their head. “They’d panic way harder than Ha-” Oh, there’s that uncomfortable tightness in their throat again. They both were hoping this could be a little easier to think about after a couple of loops. They clear their throat. “Than Hal did.”

Gabbro can’t help but tighten their grip slightly, just for a second, just long enough to keep Sanidine in the moment instead of falling back into that firestorm in their mind. “We don’t have to go back to Brittle Hollow, Sani. Not yet.”

“No. No, we’re going.” Sanidine focuses, trying to breathe in slow, then out, just like Gabbro told them to. It’s not really a steady thing at all, and they know Gabbro noticed, but at least they’re trying. “You know I’m fine with Brittle Hollow. I’m even kind of excited. The crash wasn’t fun, but none of the things that have killed us are fun. Just not ready to think about, you know, people yet.”

Gabbro scans their eyes, rubbing the back of the younger astronaut’s hands with their thumbs. “Alright. Well, while we’re on the way, want to try some breathing exercises with me? Something different. You try to match what I’m doing, up close.”

“Stars, yes, but next time just tell me you noticed me messing it up.” Sanidine says, and now they’re giving Gabbro a small smile.

“No idea what you’re talking about.”

Sanidine rolls their lower eyes, stepping closer, and leans into Gabbro so they can breathe together. “I thought you were supposed to be good at lying.”

Gabbro scoffs quietly. “I haven’t been good at lying to you since that time you crash-landed on my island.”

“Your island crashed into me.” Sanidine closes their eyes. Listens to Gabbro’s breathing. Feels their chest rising and falling, even through the suits.

“Hm. I wonder if Giant’s Deep thought you were coming to steal my attention. It might’ve been jealous.” Gabbro whispers. Slowly, in, trying to ignore the scent of the medicine clinging to Sanidine. Deep, deep, then a long exhale as a release.

Sanidine says nothing, simply trying to match Gabbro’s breathing beat for beat.

Breathe in.

The sun boils with its slowly intensifying orange. The sky sparkles with supernovae. Brittle Hollow gradually grows closer.

Breathe out.

Chapter Text

Sanidine has no idea what to expect from Brittle Hollow, they realize, as they settle back into their chair.

They thought they kind of did, before they’d died there. Riebeck had gone, not too long ago, to investigate the ruins there and maybe make some progress under the crust. If Riebeck was willing to go somewhere, it usually meant it wasn’t too dangerous, and Sanidine once would’ve thrilled over the chance to meet up with them and explore the ruins together. The last they’d heard from Riebeck was that there was a huge one under the surface that they were working on finding a safe path to. A whole city, they were pretty sure. A city that, with scribbled translations, Riebeck had identified by the moniker of the Hanging City.

Sanidine’s battered heart flutters hopefully at the idea of seeing a full-sized Nomai settlement, even now.

Then their ship had been blown out of the sky by Hollow’s Lantern. They’d been pinned to the ceiling above the truly impressive ruin they longed to see so badly, forced to stare down and realize just what kind of a fall awaited if the Nomai paneling failed. They’d died there with the bitter cold sinking into them while Hal held their broken body. They’d seen, underneath the ruin, the actual scope and terrifying nothing of the black hole, and if it weren’t for the inevitability of the supernova they feel sure it would’ve emotionlessly destroyed their body just as easily.

Shaking those memories back out of their mind, Sanidine’s no longer entirely sure how Riebeck found the courage to visit Brittle Hollow, given the planet’s hazards. They’re not sure when they’ll have the courage themself to ask. The Nomai ruin’s scope is beyond belief, everything they hoped it’d be, and they decide Riebeck must want to see it so badly they’ll brave the volcanic meteorites and black hole for the chance to. It’d probably feel more inspiring if the time loop hadn’t spent the last- stars, they weren’t sure, was it over a week yet of this?- eroding their attachment to their own survival.

Gabbro is looking at the barren surface ahead, leaning on the back of Sanidine’s seat. They haven’t really ever been to Brittle Hollow, excluding the less-than-a-minute they lived after the crash landing there. The planet’s rocky crags and icy caps are a nice array of blue-gray shades, sure, and there’s something to be said for its violent moon and the sparkling showers of orange it produces, but there’s just not a whole lot there for them. Although they’re not exactly bored by the Nomai, they’re not so interested as to beeline for the biggest ruins or the most tantalizing research.

Originally Gabbro went to the Ember Twin first, to see the chaotic ocean of the sun’s surface at the closest safe distance they could and drink in its heat and color. Chert was camping there at the time then, too, and they’d spent a month there with them just keeping each other company as they recorded the stars. It was a rare thing back then that they were willing to spend that long around someone else. When Chert’s work was done and their friend departed for home, they left as well, making a brief stop on the Ash Twin to feel its sand shifting. On Giant’s Deep they fell in love with the tornadoes’ dance, the deep water and the emerald clouds, and they stayed there. The only place they would’ve rather been save for the routine visit home is the enigmatic Phantom Moon, and everyone else is vaguely convinced it doesn’t really exist.

Officially, Gabbro’s job on Giant’s Deep is studying the weather patterns and charting its islands, which isn’t untrue. The planet’s sheer size, the variability of its currents and winds, and their frequent breaks mean that in all that time they’ve only finished mapping out maybe twenty percent of it. Their current island is simply the latest in a nearly three year long string of home bases, each one chosen for how it rates as a spot to relax. In all that time, they’ve never once thought that they wanted to go to the dead rock-and-ice ball with the black hole at its center. Briefly seeing the black hole before the reactor explosion hasn’t really changed their mind on that front.

The time loop, though, has changed all of the rules in under a week of real time. They would go anywhere in the universe as long as they weren’t apart from Sanidine, and Sanidine would do the same in return. Time Buddies.

“Where should I put down?” Sanidine asks, looking back over their shoulder at the taller Hearthian.

“Dunno. Where’s Riebeck at?”

“Oh, good question, uh-” Sanidine flips open the signalscope’s control arm, trying not to think about the way their grip makes it shake slightly. The tremors have eased, at least, just as Porphy said they would. But they aren’t gone, and it stings every time they’re reminded.

The sound of Riebeck’s banjo crackles into life, and they glance at the distance reading. “There. Underground, I think. I, uh, really hope they were under the surface when the loops started,”

Gabbro shivers unpleasantly at the idea, then shakes their head. No need to think about one of them having to dodge the volcanic wrath of Hollow’s Lantern every time a loop began. “Nah, Riebeck has had a camp somewhere down there for about a month now. I don’t think they’ve even finished surveying the surface from orbit yet, and you know what, I’m not sure I blame them. And that’s coming from someone who finds Giant’s Deep relaxing.”

“Yeah.” Sanidine closes their eyes for a moment, then looks up at Gabbro again. “You know, I hope they remember that time you were in front of everyone and said you thought they were one of the bravest of us. At least that was real, before all of this.”

Gabbro smiles sadly. “I do too. And now that we’re both thinking about that, my vote is that we don’t intentionally go say hi, at least. Just in case it turns into a conversation we aren’t ready for.”

Sanidine nods, a tiny little motion, and they settle the ship into a low orbit to start looking for a landing spot, somewhere other than near Riebeck’s camp. “Yeah. I hate avoiding everyone so much, now that I’m finally out here, but, yeah. I don’t know if I’m ready to hear about how excited Riebeck is that I came out this way on my first launch.”

“Yeah. Especially since, you might not be surprised to hear it, but Riebeck is pretty by the book when it comes to procedure. They’ll be real concerned if they hear about your usual morning routine from someone on the radio.”

“My-” Sanidine sputters for a moment. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Here’s how it went last time I listened in,” Gabbro says, and Sanidine groans. It doesn’t stop them. “Hornfels is startled to hear that you guessed the launch codes, but they’ve got something big Hal was just showing them when Slate came by, so they can’t stay for long. Esker comments that you’re flying awfully fast, for a new pilot, and not coming to the Attlerock. Slate hops in on Hornfels’ radio to mention that you didn’t even say anything to them. And then everyone gets told that if they see you, they should make sure you’re okay, and if they think you aren’t they should try to keep you there until Gneiss or Gossan can get on the line to talk to you.”

“What am I supposed to do? Pretend I don’t know exactly what they’re going to say? Tell Slate the latest way I destroyed this ship? Go and face Hal? Act like I can hide any of this from Gneiss or Gossan, when we already know they can just see it immediately, or- It’s not like it’ll be different after that second time was so stars-forsaken-” Sanidine shivers visibly, and then breathes in deeply. Out slowly. Like Gabbro showed them. Find something to hold onto in those breaths. Their voice is shaky and quiet, when they finally speak again. “I know it hurts them, but I don’t know what else to do.”

Gabbro puts their hands on Sanidine’s shoulders, squeezing gently. “Hey, look at me. It’s okay. You don’t have to do anything different, and I don’t think I would either. I didn’t tell you that to make you feel guilty, you know that. But you need to know how the other astronauts are going to react to you showing up, with that all-call in their heads, if- when- we finally feel ready to say hi.”

Sanidine takes their hands off the ship’s controls to press their trembling palms into their lower eyes for a moment. They look up, meeting Gabbro’s gaze, then sigh. “Well, I. I guess, we’ll handle it when it happens. Together.”

“Together.” Gabbro says. Things are quiet for a moment, the deep orange of the sun starting to gain that threatening red hue in the distance. Then Gabbro stiffens, pointing. There’s a glint of white and silver coming into view planetside. It’s just north of their orbit, straddling the equator, all but buried by debris and ashes. It’s also unmistakably not a natural object. If they hadn’t been at this angle, they would never have seen it at all. “Sani. You see that?”

Sanidine follows Gabbro’s pointing, then gasps and grabs the controls of the ship again. The distraction is everything they need. “We’re going to look. We have to look. I’ve never seen anything remotely like that before.”

“Hey, you know it, Time Buddy.” Gabbro says, smiling and retrieving their helmets, while Sanidine flies in for a landing.

Sanidine’s first thought, as they step onto the surface, is that Brittle Hollow is surprisingly cold even with the spacesuit.

Maybe it shouldn’t be a surprise that an airless rock shell around a black hole isn’t particularly warm, they think, walking out from under the ship. It’s just hard not to associate the planet and its moon. They glance at Gabbro, who’s giving the ship a pat on one of its struts, their helmet pressed against it.

Huh. They thought only they treated their ship that way. Not that theirs didn’t deserve the love and praise, given it also loyally kept coming back each loop no matter how badly the universe abused it.

“Ready?” They call.

Gabbro reaches up to switch on their radio, then nods, walking over. “Yeah. Just telling it to be careful about Hollow’s Lantern up there.”

“I hope it’ll try. It probably remembers getting bit last time we were here.” Sanidine says. It’s an odd, genuine hope, and not only because if the ship goes they’re stuck for the rest of the loop. They reach out and take Gabbro’s hand. “Let’s go.”

The approach to the structure is easy enough that both of them startle when their signalscopes go off. An alert. An unidentified signal type, and one that was close enough and powerful enough that the handheld scope can detect it from its passive mode.

Sanidine has theirs out first, and they break into a run together, toward the atonal noise that blares from the scope’s suit link. As soon as they arrive at the source- it’s a small white object, no bigger than a cooking stove, covered in ash and surrounded by startlingly familiar and durable alien trees- Sanidine switches off the scope and groans. “Stars above, that was loud.”

“Loud and hard to ignore. Kinda reminds me of a tadpole fussing, but more artificial.” Gabbro says, tapping the side of their helmet. Sanidine can imagine their grimace, because they’re wearing a very similar one. “You think the Nomai built this, uh, screaming device?”

Sanidine sighs, kneeling beside it and running their hand over the shell. There’s a power cable running from it toward the larger structure, soft blue light muffled by accumulated ash and dust. Somewhere in the distance there’s a thundering crash as another of Hollow’s Lantern’s eruptions impacts the surface. “Maybe. It doesn’t really look like the other stuff we’ve found in the ruins, but that power cord is definitely Nomai. Or, I mean, I- I think it’s Nomai. Stars, there’s ash all over this thing, I don’t know if there’s controls or text or. Ugh. Gimme a hand?”

The pair begin clearing ash off of the object’s casing. About halfway into uncovering it, Sanidine’s fingers catch on something on the top, and they both yelp and shield their eyes when a brilliant beam of light fires into the sky. The beacon must be visible from orbit, Sanidine thinks. It’s certainly bright enough to be.

“Stars. It screams and it blinds you.” Gabbro mutters, patting their visor gently as though they could rub their eyes through it. In the excitement of the thing activating, they’ve reflexively wound up right next to Sanidine again. “I wonder if next it’s going to start punching me.”

“I hope not. Then I have to start hitting it back.” Sanidine lets out a tired chuckle. “I don’t really want to keep poking this thing just now. Pretty sure we’ll remember where it is for next time. Better to go check out whatever it’s plugged into, right?”

“Don’t look at the artist. You’re the smart one here.” Gabbro observes, and Sanidine can hear the smirk on their lips. “Lead the way.”

Sanidine’s face and ears feel warm as they start walking. Of course Gabbro remembers that comment, back when a shared dream and a non-fatal crash seemed like the worst of their problems. Before they knew just how smart Gabbro really was, under their breezy persona, or how much of their very existence they would really come to owe them. It feels like it was so long ago.

They’re too busy thinking to notice the glint of metal in the ashes, and their boot catches, sending them yelping and tumbling forward-  and because neither of them could possibly have watched that happen to the other without acting, suddenly Gabbro is there, arms around their waist trying to catch them, and they land in a cloud of ash together on their sides.

It takes a minute before either one is collected enough to speak.

“I was fine, Gabbro.” Sanidine says. It’s half-hearted at best.

Gabbro shrugs, but they’re both shaking a little. “And if you hadn’t been?”

Sanidine shakes their head. “Then I would’ve needed to spend a loop yelling at Slate about this helmet being a piece of dirt.”

A moment passes. The sun, swollen and red, rises over the pair.

“We should get back up.” Gabbro says, pressing their helmet against the back of Sanidine’s. They don’t let go of their Time Buddy just yet.

Sanidine sighs. They kind of wish they didn’t agree. “Yeah. Probably. We can lay around another loop. Somewhere we won’t get smashed by a hunk of lava and rock would be nice.”

“Hah.” Gabbro lets go, and the pair get to their feet again. “Listen to us, talking about doing things ‘another loop’ like it's not that big of a deal. And you want to lay around? I guess we really did need to try to let go, huh?”

“Stars yes.” Sanidine knocks some dust off Gabbro’s shoulder. “It’s still. You know. But being able to talk about it has been.”

They falter, unsure of the right word, and Gabbro pats their arm. “I do know. Me too, Sani. So what did you even trip over, anyway? You’re not usually that clumsy.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, I guess?" Sanidine smirks . They walk back to where they’d started their tumble, then bend down to brush ash away from their footprints.

Then they gasp, pulling the translator tool out with one hand and waving Gabbro over with the other. “Stars above- It’s a Nomai recording device! This is Nomai! I think it’s still functional, too!”

“Like our tape recorders?” Gabbro wonders. Sanidine’s already standing again, holding the device in one hand and the tool in the other.

“Ahh, kind of? Yeah, that’s close enough! Normally, we think, there’s a transcript on the interior discs that the device translates into a voice recording. But we’ve never found one that’s got an intact recording before!” Sanidine knocks the ash free with a gentle shake. “We might be the first Hearthians to hear an actual Nomaian voice!”

That makes Gabbro’s eyes widen, and they step closer. “Huh. That… that’s a weird feeling. I never really figured I’d get to hear the voices of the Nomai like that.”

Sanidine nods, investigating the recorder to look for its function controls.

“You know, I think that’s appropriate, though.” Gabbro sighs heavily. “I mean, beyond you deserving the discovery, because, I mean, you’re you. It’s just that when I get to thinking about it, nobody out there knows what it feels like to be dead and lost better than us, I imagine. Whatever kind of alive we count as. If anyone’s going to listen to ghosts first, maybe it should be us.”

Sanidine pauses, looking at Gabbro. Their shoulders sag a little, and they give their time buddy a tired little nod. “Yeah. I mean, we’ll, we’ll come back. After.  Whatever their statues have done to us, they- their voices deserve to be heard by everybody, I think. But right now, I don’t know, maybe you’re right. Sounds better than ‘it’s easier than listening to living people’, at least.”

Gabbro barks a “Ha”. It sounds as exhausted as they both feel at the thought.

“Found the playback.” Sanidine says, after a moment of letting the quiet settle. “You ready to hear this? First ever Hearthians?”

“Yeah. I’m beyond ready.” Gabbro says, leaning in against Sanidine’s shoulder.

Sanidine presses the button, and the pair close their eyes to listen.

Chapter Text

Honestly, neither Sanidine nor Gabbro is sure what to expect until the Nomai recording starts playing.

The voices are downright melodic, musical instruments all on their own. The recording sounds like frantic singing, though they don’t know the words, or even where the words stop or start. The voices are harried, but even then, the tones of the long-gone aliens make Sanidine’s heart swell.

Beautiful, they think, even like this, even when they were so clearly upset. They’re not the artist, they have no better words. But even Gabbro is speechless.

Sanidine flips up the translator tool and reads off the disc, and their heart pounds at what they find.

Thatch, Plume, Filix. More names, names they want to cling to, to remember, because they’ve been forgotten for so long, and they’re starting to find that alarmingly easy to relate to. Thatch’s leadership- the loudest of the voices, possibly the one holding the recorder, the strongest part of the melody of words. They sound like they’re at center stage in the small choir. Filix, a lighter voice, slightly higher in pitch, talking about calling for their lost kin with such concern. Plume and their quick thinking, looking for shelter underground in a bassy staccato.

Sanidine lowers the recorder to look at Gabbro, trembling a little for these castaways from so long ago. The two look back at the larger structure, pieces falling into place.

“An escape pod. Gabbro. That huge thing must be the escape pod, I’ve never even seen that phrase before in the samples we had.” They whisper. The only escape pods they’ve ever heard discussed at all are the enclosed cockpit areas that were rapidly abandoned in favor of the good old eject button, before Slate could even build a prototype.

“Why does it look so different from everything else we’ve seen?” Gabbro wonders, quietly. It feels appropriate to be somber- this is a momentous occasion, and yet they’re left with only more questions.

“One way to find out. Come on.”

Mindful of the sun and its sickly red color, the pair start toward the escape pod, hand in hand again. They leave the recording device where they found it. Both would much rather show it proper care, given its importance, but they both know it won’t matter soon.

They’ll remember where it is, for when the time comes.

The Escape Pod has been on Brittle Hollow long enough that it’s really a small miracle that it isn’t completely demolished by falling magma and stone. As it is, up close, Sanidine can tell what they thought was a large rock jutting up from the ground is actually the pod itself, towering over the landscape.

Like the Probe Cannon, it’s almost impossible to imagine the scope of the project that could put something this large into space with no obvious thrust. It’s even harder to imagine what might carry it, as an escape pod. Gabbro runs their hand along the outside hull for a moment, taking in its sleek appearance and smooth lines.

It takes a moment for Sanidine to find the cable again. She looks up at the point where it disappears, frowning. “Think there’s an entrance up there?”

“Maybe.” Gabbro says, looking up with their Time Buddy. “Sometime, we need to spend a loop just clearing this off. I want to see it.”

Sanidine blinks, turning their head to look at Gabbro. Sure, Gabbro’s not an uncurious person, but the technology and culture of the Nomai aren’t exactly top of the list for them the way they are for Sanidine. “Really?”

“Oh yeah.” Gabbro nods, then they gesture to the exposed side plating. “I think- well, I don’t really know as much about the Nomai as you, or Riebeck, or Hal. But what we can see of this is like a sculpture, almost. It kind of reminds me of looking at a seed, or a flower bud. I think that’s kind of hopeful for an escape pod, you know? It’s a different kind of beautiful from the other Nomai ruins we’ve seen. So I want to see the whole thing.”

“Then we will.” Sanidine nods, gripping their jetpack control. “We’ve got plenty of time, right?”

Gabbro grasps theirs in kind. “Seems that way. After you, Time Buddy.”

The pair boost up, kicking up a cloud of ashes. When they go to land, Gabbro touches down slightly before Sanidine, and Sanidine has to adjust quickly to avoid angling directly into them.

The end result is that the two astronauts stumble into the escape pod and barely keep themselves from falling over each other again. It’s so patently ridiculous that they stare at each other for a long moment, and Sanidine has to take a deep breath to keep from cracking into laughter. It wouldn’t be right, not in this place, they decide, and it’s a tremendous relief when they can peek past Gabbro’s visor to see the same effort.

“We-” Sanidine says, slipping and giggling softly for the first time in so long- “-are the worst people to be doing this.”

“We are the best people to be doing this.” Gabbro bumps their helmet against Sanidine’s, letting out a breathy giggle of their own.

Sanidine lets their helmets stay in contact for a moment, then pushes Gabbro’s shoulder gently, still grinning. “I think it’s both. Now c’mon, I don’t want to get, I don’t know, haunted, because we didn’t show this place the respect it deserves.”

Gabbro gives Sanidine an overwrought sigh, pulling back and clearing their throat. “Mm. You know what, buddy, I was gonna make a joke. But after all this I’m not gonna outright say the Nomai couldn’t make our lives even worse if we made them feel insulted somehow.”

As they look at the two canisters, one each in cavities built into the hallway walls, they both feel a little more hollow again. As much as it feels appropriate not to start having a laughing fit in the middle of one of the most significant archaeological finds in recent memory, one that carries with it the fearful fleeing of a people they’ll never really know, the playful energy had been warm and refreshing.

The containers in the wall are interesting, though nothing seems to be immediately obvious as a way to interact with them. Each one is tall enough to easily contain a Hearthian, even one as tall as Gabbro is, and the pair walk down the ramp between them hesitantly. The obvious answer is that the passengers of the escape pod rode in them, but with no visible seat or restraint, surely that can’t be right.

They hop down off the first level, turn, and Gabbro reflexively grabs Sanidine’s arm purely to keep them from sprinting across the chamber to the glowing display on the other side. This is wise, it turns out, because Sanidine immediately does attempt to run to it. When Gabbro doesn’t let go, they stop and give them an irritated grunt. “But-”

“Careful. Mind the floor. And, Sani, look at the walls.”

Sanidine begrudgingly tears their eyes away from the front of the chamber. Their urgency fades, and they gasp.

The walls are made of some form of glass, here, and the scope of the sheer number of canisters within is baffling. There’s easily enough to shove a good portion of Timber Hearth’s crater population into one each, arrayed along spokes within the walls. Blessedly, if they did once contain passengers, none remain to watch the two explorers.

The display that has Sanidine so transfixed is unlike the others they’ve seen. While most Nomai texts are either on spiraling patterns against a flat surface, and some are on ring-shaped stones that, based on the probe cannon, operate not unlike Hearthian computer displays, this is something completely new. Nomai script projects from the central pedestal, four blue rings of light that form words in tight lettering. The style of the letters reminds Sanidine a little bit of the rings on the Probe Cannon, but these are just different enough that they stand out. A different dialect? Did that even apply to the Nomai?

Gabbro finally releases their arm, satisfied that they aren’t about to fall headlong into the gap in the flooring. The younger astronaut simply leaps across in one clean motion, their translator gripped tightly in one hand. Shaking their head with a tired smile, Gabbro drops into the gap. “I think I can take a quick look at what’s below.”

“Don’t disappear.” Sanidine replies reflexively, getting the translator aimed. It’s not a joke or a flippant remark, and they both know it, and Gabbro makes a soft humming noise to reassure Sanidine that they have no intention of doing that. Even this late into the loop, neither wants to be split apart again. Even as Gabbro slips down underneath, they make sure not to go too far back so they don’t completely lose sight of each other. The hatch at the end can wait.

The text is unmistakably from some kind of computer. Sanidine’s eyes widen. Vessel? Mortally injured? Two other escape pods, both mentioned by Thatch, and- stars. The Nomai computer confirming that it finds Brittle Hollow to be habitable, somehow. Could this be the origin of that sprawling city they’d seen a glimpse of, so far below their feet?

Wherever they came from, whatever the Vessel was, these poor Nomai must’ve been so void-damned afraid. Sanidine sighs, closing their eyes for a moment. At least in that, they have something in common with these ancient souls.

Then they stand and pocket the translator. There’s so much more to see, even with this, and the sun setting in the distance is enough to see that their time in this loop is almost over. They can’t keep Gabbro waiting.

Gabbro, who’s leaning on the wall patiently as Sanidine slides down into the gap. They catch the smaller astronaut’s momentum before stepping back and nodding. “Anything new and exciting?”

“This is definitely Thatch’s escape pod. They came from something they called a Vessel, and it was- well, the term translates as ‘mortally injured’, but I’m not sure they aren’t just being flowery.” Sanidine says, glancing at the hatch. “To be honest, it kind of sounds like the way you describe some of this stuff.”

“Oh yeah?” Gabbro smiles a little, walking over to the hatch. “You think there was a Nomai that saw things my way?”

Sanidine smiles too. “I really don’t know. But, well… we’re only just starting to really know anything about who they were, so it’s possible. I kind of hope so, to be honest.”

“Me too.” Gabbro muses. “I wonder what Nomai poetry was like.”

“I hope we find a recording of some. I bet it sounds incredible. You gonna open that?” Sanidine asks.

“Hey, you’re the one who brought up the idea of a Nomai Gabbro and got me all distracted.” The other astronaut shrugs, before engaging the control orb. They slide it all the way to the end.

Nothing happens. There’s a creaking noise.

Sanidine squints, stepping forward to look alongside Gabbro. “You think it’s broken or something?

“Maybe..” Gabbro mutters, leaning forward to put a hand on the hatch.

Two things happen, very quickly.

First, the simple pressure of Gabbro’s hand on the hatch causes it to suddenly and violently break free of the frame. It falls away into the open space below, slamming through what appears to be a series of slats that form a footpath, and tumbles toward the black hole.

Second, Gabbro tumbles out after it with a yell. Sanidine’s hand just barely misses their pack.

“GABBRO!”

And Sanidine is in the air, without thinking, diving for their Time Buddy with one hand on their jetpack control and the other outstretched. Gabbro’s spinning, uncontrolled, and there’s an unpleasantly loud crack noise in the radio as they crash into the remains of the bridge, bounce off a jagged outcropping underneath, and keep going.

The way the taller Hearthian stops fighting for the jetpack control arm, limply tumbling instead, does nothing to make Sanidine stop trying to get to them. They blink against the tears stinging their eyes. They know already that something has happened, that Gabbro may as well already be in the next loop, but they’re not going to watch them fall like this. They’re not letting that body be swallowed by the voracious beast at Brittle Hollow’s heart. They can’t.

Impact. They grip Gabbro against their chest, bracing themself. Just like the ship and Giant’s Deep. They can do this, they have to find a landing spot but they can do this, and then at least they don’t have to find out the hard way if the Black Hole will somehow disturb the loop. They grasp the jetpack control and pull the trigger with all the force they can muster, screaming into the radio as their body is subject to the feeling that it might tear apart along their waist and split in two. Void take them, that hurts, and they're sure they’d feel it later if they weren’t about to die in a supernova any minute now.

They sail around the black hole, refusing to look at it, eyes scanning the interior of Brittle Hollow- or what’s left of it- for anything that might possibly save them.

There.

Sanidine, at first, fears they might’ve been going entirely too fast for the gravity lift’s pale beam. Then they feel it snag them and yank them backward into the upward column, the air leaving their lungs as the lift steals their momentum, stars exploding in their eyes. The ride up is just enough time to clear their head again, tears still blurring their vision.

The lift deposits them unceremoniously onto rock, and with the dying sun shining through the holes around them, they lay atop Gabbro and heave a sob, cradling their dead friend’s head for a moment before sliding their hands back down to the taller Hearthian’s chest. “That was. I was. S-stupid, I- I should’ve known, I could’ve checked the door, but you just had to- to- and now I have to wait to see you again, and. And I don’t know how to do this, I can’t do this, I need you-”

Their hands ball into fists atop Gabbro’s suit, and they punch the rock beside their friend’s body, letting the shock of pain bring their anger straight into focus. They’re yelling now, ignoring the way the radio crackles. “And! I! I know you’re going to, to just tell me you’re sorry, and I’ll forgive you, but-! But first I am going to give you such a talking to in our next loop, you careless, void-brained artist! For making me so stars-forsaken alone again! Because I know you! And you’re gonna say, you- you’re going to say it was you, and it wasn’t, it wasn’t-”

It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters, for the minute or so they have left, and they’ve been holding together so well, but seeing Gabbro dead like this hurts beyond anything reasonable even with the knowledge of how temporary it is. The way their chest doesn’t rise in that steady pace that they relied on to keep their own heart beating again, the way their head simply lays against the rock, red staining the ground around them, it’s too much.

They’re numb to anything around them. They fall back against the ground, staring at Gabbro’s blood on their gloves, watching as it pools on the rocks from that horrible crack in the back of their helmet. They feel like the hole in their chest is back, an emptiness beyond description hollowing out their core.

They don’t have to wait, they realize, with a terrible clarity.

With a shaky hand, they reach up to grasp the helmet’s sealing clasp, popping it into the unsafe position. One quick pull and a twist, and there’s no way there’s enough breathable air here. They can just, just make it so much faster, and then they don’t have to keep staring at that nightmarish sight in front of them.

They pull. There’s a horrible hissing noise, the suit's warning buzzer. That sound used to make them so afraid during training, but in that moment it has a chilling kind of comfort to it. They’re ready to end the loop, they think. They just have to reach up and twist the helmet off-

Another hand grabs theirs and slams it back against the helmet seal, re-engaging it. They gasp, struggling against the grip of the other astronaut wildly. No, no, nonono, it was- they can’t sit through this supernova, they need to get back to Gabbro, they have to, and, and who, who could’ve found-

“Sanidine!” Riebeck’s voice finally cuts through the fog. Their hands are pinned against their chest by just one of their fellow explorer's arms, and Riebeck hauls them up to pin them to their chest, lifting them bodily from the ground. “S-s-stars, Sani, I- o-on your first l-launch, just- just p-please, we need to get, away from the, u-um, the-”

“Wh- no! Don't make me wait like this!” Sanidine screams into the radio, panic rushing through their body. Riebeck always did have a surprising amount of strength, and that hasn’t faded with their time in the stars. The smaller astronaut can’t get free, legs kicking uselessly, but they’re trying with all the strength they have against the blaze of pain in their sides from their stunt with the black hole.

Riebeck is, well, terrified. They’d heard yelling around the corner, overheard something about ‘next loop’ and ‘alone’ in the time it took them to get to their feet and come running, and the sight had frozen the blood in their veins. Gabbro, oh stars not Gabbro, laid on the cold stone of Brittle Hollow, motionless and bleeding from their head. Sanidine, the youngest of them, the one they thought hadn’t even launched yet, with a bloodied hand on their helmet clasp, body shaking worse than even Riebeck got during spaceflight.

They’d only just barely managed to act fast enough to keep the young astronaut from ripping their helmet off, and they were forcing themself to avert their eyes from Gabbro’s- from- from the body. They have Sanidine lifted into the air, pinning the young astronaut’s hands to their chest with one arm, their other around Sanidine's waist.

They would normally shatter completely, but Sanidine is there, and Sanidine is freaking out, and they really couldn’t blame the hatchling for handling this grief badly but there was still a you know what down there and what were they thinking about to take their helmet off do they really think Gabbro would want that?! Sanidine’s incoherent screaming is. Well, it’s a lot, but they refuse to release their hold anyway, dragging the hatchling toward their camp.

They could… they, well, they would… stars, they didn’t want to have to be the one to radio back and report this. They didn’t even know what had happened. When did Sanidine launch? Why was Gabbro with them? What in the stars above were the two even doing here, and why didn’t Sanidine call for help, and-

-and the hatchling’s gone quiet, shaking and sobbing limply in their arms, rasping slightly as they breathe. Oh. Oh, that’s not good. They turn Sanidine around, pulling them against their suit. They don’t know what else to do. This is so far beyond them, they’re so completely overwhelmed, but they have to at least try to help Sanidine. As much as they never wanted to see the body that lay around the corner, at least they were an experienced astronaut by now. To see that on their first launch… they hoped Sanidine would be able to overcome this. That any of them would.

The sobbing dies down into quiet, deep breaths and hiccups, with the occasional hacking cough that sounds awful and makes their body jerk against Riebeck’s. Sanidine lifts their head and Riebeck watches their faceplate for any kind of tell, anything that might make this somehow easier. It’s not made better by the way it’s starting to get dark, which is odd, because Brittle Hollow has enough holes in its crust by now that frankly there shouldn’t be such a thing as nighttime in the center, but.

“Riebeck.” Sanidine whispers hoarsely, their voice carrying a horrible, sad brokenness that Riebeck wishes they’d never heard. “I’m so sorry. This, this isn’t real, okay? You’re dreaming. You’re gonna- gonna wake up. But I’m sorry you- I’m sorry.”

Their bodies are wracked by a terrifying shockwave, interrupting Riebeck trying to figure out what to say. What can they say? The hatchling is apologizing to them, and they think it must be simply shock and grief, but it sounds so sincere. The shockwave can wait, it's probably just Hollow's Lantern knocking another large chunk of crust free. “You- you don’t have to apologize t, to me, I- this is horrible, on your first launch even, and- I’m the one who’s sorry, Sani, I- nobody deserves-”

Sanidine shakes their head. It’s getting brighter now, warmer. The hatchling buries their face against Riebeck’s suit again, tensing. Over the slowly growing roar of the plasma, they can just barely hear Sanidine speaking. “I’m just part of your dream. Just a dream.”

There’s a brief moment of unbelievable heat, indescribable agony. Riebeck’s pain is surprising enough that they blessedly don’t scream. It’s a small mercy for Sanidine as they’re both consumed by the supernova.

The universe ends.

Chapter Text

Sanidine settles into the seat of their ship. They’re pretty sure Slate got a glimpse of the way their eyes looked, puffy and red, and their tear-streaked cheeks. They’d been crying before they even woke up this time, and they wonder just how far back the loop pushes their mind, that their body reacts before they’re properly awake. They decide they won’t be shocked if this prompts another all-call to watch out for them, like Gabbro mentioned.

They mutter an “I’m sorry” to nobody in particular, and switch on the radio with their left hand, pushing the throttle forward with their right. "Gabbro?"

“Sani.” Gabbro’s there, immediately. No flute music, no hesitation. “I’m sorry. I was careless.”

Sanidine sighs, rubbing their forehead as the ship clears Timber Hearth’s atmosphere. If Slate probably reacted badly to the idea of them crying that much, then they thank the stars Gabbro can’t see them. “Stop. We talked about this, we promised each other, and I won’t let you. Don’t you dare apologize. It’s not your fault. The door falling, I- I wanted to blame myself too, for not checking, but how could we possibly have known about- it wasn’t either of our faults.”

“Maybe.” Gabbro says. They can hear the uncertainty. Sanidine doesn’t want to think about how much Gabbro believes it was their fault. If they won’t listen from a distance, they’ll have to remind them in person, because unlike Sanidine Gabbro hadn’t had an enforced time-out via Riebeck. They’re not sure they should mention that part yet. “Either way. You- I didn’t mean to leave you alone.”

“I know. I, I mean, of course you didn’t?” Sanidine says. They lean back, taking a shaky breath as they angle to sling toward Giant’s Deep again. “I. I won’t pretend that I knew how to handle it well. But you’re here again, and. I’m okay now.”

“Are you?” Gabbro asks, quietly.

“I don’t- Are you?” Sanidine replies, just as quietly.

The line is quiet for a moment. Sanidine’s fingers tighten around the controls.

“I thought, maybe, we were starting to be.” Gabbro says. The wind intensifies, and Sanidine sucks air through their teeth. “Got a visitor. They’re insisting on interrupting. Hold on.”

They can hear Gabbro running, though the wind threatens to blow out the mic, and they swear to themself that if they get there and find their time buddy dead (or worse, don’t find them at all) they’re going to eject straight into the sun and skip a painful few steps.

The sound of the cyclone makes their body tense, even across so much distance. They can hear Gabbro doing something.

Then the wind goes quiet. “Whew. Okay, safe for when I come back down. Really wish one of those Nomai things was on this island, buddy, let me tell you.”

“If you die before I get there, I’m. I. Stars above, Gabbro.” Sanidine says, finally letting go of the breath they’ve been holding.

“Big Green’s got a temper, but I’ve been here a while, remember? I’m fine, Sani.” Gabbro says, and in context this is at least not a lie.

“You’re fine this time.” Sanidine corrects them, before groaning and sliding down in their seat as far as the harness will let them. They’re pretty sure the only reason they wear it at all is for Gabbro’s sake. They swallow, trying to clear the lump from their throat, watching the green jewel of the system grow slowly larger outside.

The wind picks back up. Sanidine hears Gabbro grunt, accompanied by splashing noises.

“Ten point landing. See? I’m fine.” Gabbro says. “Back to herb collecting.”

Sanidine sighs. It’s hard to process everything they’re feeling. Gabbro’s voice is just making them feel it so much more, but they can’t bring themself to turn off the radio.

“Sani?” Gabbro says, quietly. “Say something.”

“I’m here.” Sanidine says, almost a reflex. They refuse to make Gabbro wait on a reply like that. Then they shake their head, pushing themself up in the seat again. “We’re going back, right?”

Gabbro is quiet for a moment. “I’d like to. If it won’t hurt.”

Sanidine closes their eyes, reflecting. Even in their anger, they knew Gabbro would be back, just like they would going the other way. “Me too. We- I’m not sure I’m ever, going to be okay when you die. But. You’re here again, and that makes it hurt so much less. Besides, now we’re even for Statue Island.”

“Wh- we are not going to start keeping score.” Gabbro says, firmly. “Look, time buddy, I agree. With almost all of that. I just know that if, you know, something happened to you at this point, I think I’d…”

Oh, Sanidine does not like how Gabbro’s voice trails off. “Hey. Let’s not.”

“Did you…”

“I-” Sanidine hesitates. Lying to Gabbro is impossible anymore, it’s like lying to themself. “I wanted to.”

“Stars above, Sanidine.” Gabbro says, quietly. It’s not judging, it’s not pitying, it isn’t even angry. It’s just quiet, and sad, and stars Sanidine thought they were actually pretty okay until this.

“It’s- it’s not permanent. It’s just a shortcut, around everything, back to you. So.” Sanidine inhales sharply. “I started to pull my helmet seal, because. I couldn’t take being, so,”

“Alone.” Gabbro whispers. “I know.”

“I didn’t get it open.” Sanidine whispers back, before burying their head in their hands. “Riebeck stopped me. They’re still Riebeck. Never thought I’d be so stars-forsaken happy that they forget about us.”

Gabbro goes quiet again. Sanidine lets it sit, listening to the ship around them instead, trying not to think about what they'd almost done to Riebeck just so they could see Gabbro again a little faster.

Eventually, the ship’s retrorockets start firing, the autopilot beeping as it disengages. It’s enough to get Sanidine to lift their head again.

“I’m orbiting.” They say. “Make room on the beach, okay? I’ll see you soon.”

It takes Sanidine’s ship less than two minutes. It breaks through the atmosphere, flares, and settles onto the sand not far from where Gabbro is once again putting the finishing touches on Sanidine’s medicine.

They’re dropping out before the ship even finishes touching down this time, rushing to Gabbro. It doesn’t matter that they’re both wearing their suits and helmets. The two Hearthians embrace tightly. No crying this time, no sobbing, just holding. Breathing. Stars above, Sanidine needed to feel those breaths, to feel Gabbro’s chest rising and falling against theirs. The memory of it being so still is one they’re not sure they can forget, no matter how hard they try, but in this moment it doesn’t hurt nearly as much.

“Hey, time buddy.” Gabbro says, finally.

“Hey.” Sanidine replies. They squeeze softly. “I tried to make things easier, I told Riebeck it was a dream, it was only a minute or so. They were upset, but it was quick. But, Gabbro, I’m sorry that I- that I was going to just do that.”

“I would’ve wanted to do the same thing.” Gabbro sighs, rubbing Sanidine’s back, slow motions up and down. “And then I probably would’ve done the same thing.”

“Stars, we’re both pretty bad, huh?” Sanidine chuckles tiredly. There’s no warmth in it.

“Yeah, we are.” Gabbro looks back at the campfire, and they visibly perk up a little bit at the realization there’s an out from this particular topic. At least for now, they decide they’re allowed to take it, not having to think about why being apart from Sanidine had made them ache so badly back on Timber Hearth. “Your medicine’s about ready.”

“Urgh. Right. I was kind of hoping you forgot.” Sanidine squeezes against Gabbro one more time, then lets them go, happy for an excuse to think about anything else. Thinking about the confusion they feel, over whether that crippling loneliness is real or just part of the fact that they’re the only two who remember, is difficult even when they haven’t just been through such a bad ending to a loop. “So, uh, I was thinking we’d just try the pod again. I want to know what those bridges led to. We’ll just be more careful with the door, this time.”

Gabbro nods, picking up the pot, bandage, and mug. “It’s easier to keep rain out of this aboard your ship, you know.”

Sanidine makes a face, then heads back for the gravity lift. “Fair. We can start for Brittle Hollow while you’re finishing up?”

Gabbro takes a deep breath of the familiar air, then follows Sanidine to the ship that feels so much like home now. “I like it. Feels like we’re getting better at this part, at least.”

“Thank the stars we’re getting better at something.”

The trip to Brittle Hollow is mostly uneventful. The pair review the computer’s stored information, and Sanidine teaches Gabbro about the concept that Nomai referred to one another using pronouns other than ‘they’, assuring their time buddy that this was one of the things that gave the translation project the most difficulty to date. Gabbro reinforces the breathing lessons that they both need so badly. In the end, they spend the rest of their time just quietly sitting together, Sanidine’s head against Gabbro’s chest with their suits hung on the rack, listening to the older astronaut’s heart beating.

Ordinarily, Sanidine would agitatedly start hunting around to find something to do if they had to sit idly for too long. But something about doing it here on the ship is tolerable. Doing it with Gabbro is even somehow nice, like a steady shelter against the storm they’ve found themself in. Gabbro’s presence makes this a moment where they’re not in fear for their lives or the lives of their entire species, where they don’t have to worry about the slowly deepening black outside or the way they can barely think about the faces of their friends without dread. They feel more steady around Gabbro, less like they’re flailing all the time.

Maybe finding this refreshing, they think, is just another way the experiences they’ve had already changed them. Or perhaps it’s just the way Gabbro already changed them, with the way their time buddy looks at things, even distorted by the experiences they’ve had. They try not to think too hard about what either of them might wind up like once “just over a week” starts to stretch into something more.

Gabbro, of course, has always been perfectly content to sit in the quiet. Ordinarily, however, their definition of sitting in the quiet didn’t really involve sharing their personal space with someone else. The last time they’d done anything remotely similar since they were a hatchling was with Chert on Ember Twin, and that was hardly this close. Not that they hadn’t enjoyed staying with Chert while they did their research that time, of course. But this is different in more ways than just their physical closeness.

Sanidine is different in ways that should’ve been incompatible with Gabbro. Even at their absolute lowest, they seem to have moments of brilliant enthusiasm that should be blinding to someone who prefers the company of tornadoes to most people in the long term. But it isn’t, they aren’t, and Gabbro isn’t sure why. Sitting there on the floor of the spaceship, waiting for the retro-rocket burn together, Gabbro thinks they can still feel that overwhelming energy in their smaller counterpart’s body, waiting to explode out even if it burns Sanidine away in the process. They feel like rocket fuel in a wooden barrel. It shouldn’t be as exciting as it is worrying.

They can feel the tremors settling in, the way Sanidine’s hands start to shake against their sides.  Sanidine feels it too, and as they start to stiffen, Gabbro puts a hand gently against their back.

“Breathe.” Gabbro reminds them, gently.

“I’m trying.” Sanidine closes their eyes, focusing on the steady heartbeat in their ear. “I hate this part so much, Gabbro. I can feel my control just, just slipping. I hate it.”

Gabbro leans forward slightly, resting their cheek on Sanidine’s head. “I know. I’ve got you. I won’t let you go through it alone.”

Sanidine curls into Gabbro’s chest. “I know.”

The quiet falls over them again, for a bit.

The retro-rocket burn alarm comes all too soon. Sanidine gets up slowly, haltingly, and they keep their eyes on Gabbro the entire time as though part of them is afraid they’ll simply disappear somehow.

“That, was.” They say. Pause. Gabbro’s eyes meet theirs, and they feel ridiculous. All that time studying languages with Hal and they still have no idea how to use their words at all. “Really, uh. Thank you, Gabbro.”

“Uh. Yeah, I was, um. Happy to help.” Gabbro says, already slightly missing that gentle pressure on their chest. When Sanidine lingers for a moment, they wonder about that feeling, about whether it or that hollow feeling when they’re separated are anything more than a way to cope with being the only two who remember.

Then their time buddy gives them a small, tired, awkward smile, and heads for the cockpit. The taller Hearthian sighs quietly before getting up to follow them. Stars help them both. The truth is, they don’t even know how to begin to think about what just happened. This is a different kind of closeness, and one they’re woefully unprepared to comprehend. They already know Sanidine probably isn't sure what to make of things either, but to ask makes it all real, doesn't it? Makes whatever this is something they have to actually consider. And the potential for it to simply fall away, another echo from the death of the people they were before, terrifies them.

Not that Sanidine understands it any better. They sit down at the controls and stare at them for a moment like they’re in shock. They’d been on autopilot just as much as their ship had, and reflecting on the time spent in the cabin is making their ears and face darken purple. They’ve been wrestling with the same doubts that Gabbro has been, and it feels like the one thing they truly don’t want to bring up, for fear of the answer they reach driving a wedge between them that can’t be removed. And yet, they know that the conversation is going to have to happen eventually, because they can't keep going on like this.

Sanidine clears their throat. “So. Ready to land?”

“Ready.” Gabbro says. They’re staring straight ahead out of the cockpit. “Ready as I can be, anyway. Let’s get back down there, right?”

“Mhm.” Sanidine takes the controls, starting down toward the surface. It’s not as smooth a ride as they’d like, thrusters occasionally triggered in odd ways by the way their hand shakes, but they manage to set down near the escape pod without damaging the ship.

They sit there for a second, rubbing their face. “Need to find those deadzone and tolerance settings. If they even exist.”

“I’ll help you look, next loop.”  Gabbro says, finishing putting on their suit. The change of topic is extremely welcome. “If it isn’t in the computer, maybe you can figure out how to add it. I think it remembers better than I do.”

Sanidine gets up, pulling their suit on. They’ve gotten quicker by now, and soon they take one last look at Gabbro’s face before pulling on their helmet. “Maybe. Be easier if I could somehow get Slate to help, but I don’t think I want them anywhere near it. If they saw some of our notes, then, well.”

Gabbro pulls theirs on in kind, then bends down to open the hatch, trying and failing to keep a bitter note out of their voice. “I get what you mean. It’d be hard to explain how you’ve logged this stuff without ever leaving Timber Hearth until you came after me. It was hard enough to get them past the launch codes.”

“Exactly.” Sanidine sighs. They drop out one after the other, and it takes them no time to proceed through the escape pod again, now that they know what they’re looking at. No need to scan things, no need to stop.

Until the door. Gabbro glances at Sanidine, crossing their arms. “So.”

“So, I’m thinking.” Sanidine says. They rub their hand thoughtfully, as though pushing their thumb against their palm will quiet their void-damned shaking.

Gabbro sucks air through their teeth, but Sanidine can hear their grin. “Oh, be careful with that.”

Sanidine knows, instinctively, that they’re going to regret this. They pull their scout launcher out, adjusting its launch settings with it propped against the wall to keep it steady. “With?”

“Thinking. We keep getting ourselves in trouble doing too much of it.”

There’s a long moment before Sanidine finally gives Gabbro the groan they’re waiting for. “Glad you’re in a good mood, time buddy.”

Gabbro’s chuckle is proof they consider this a win, but it still makes Sanidine smile.

“I think what we do is undo the lock, then I’ll hit it with my scout and knock it free.” Sanidine says, finishing their adjustments. “I lowered the launch pressure, so it shouldn’t do too much damage to the scout itself. Then we recall it and figure out our way down.”

“Sounds like a good plan to me.” Gabbro nods, stepping back to the area they dropped in from. “I’ll just get out of the way.”

“That sounds like a good plan to me.” Sanidine says. “I’d rather not play keep-away with the black hole again.”

Gabbro sighs. “You could’ve just let me-”

“No.” Sanidine’s voice has an edge to it, and even they aren’t really sure why. “I couldn’t.”

Gabbro stares at the other Astronaut’s back, watching them go about unlocking the hatch. They don’t press further, not right now. They’re not sure they could let Sanidine’s body fall either, to be honest, but they’d rather not worry about the potential of that happening.

They don’t relax again until Sanidine walks back to their side. The smaller astronaut doesn’t say anything before lifting the scout launcher, aiming for the center of the hatch. Or, they try to. Gabbro steps behind them, reaching around their pack to their arms and placing their hands over Sanidine’s to try to help steady them.

Sanidine inhales sharply, and Gabbro feels them tense up.

“Sani.” Gabbro says, softly. “I know. But let me help. Please.”

Sanidine closes their eyes. “I should be able to fire a stars-forsaken scout without missing at this distance, Gabbro.”

It stings to hear it, because Gabbro knows it’s true. “I know. But right now, you can’t. And if you miss, it might not fall out correctly, right? So let me help you do this. Because we’re Time Buddies.”

Sanidine forces themself not to say that it doesn’t really matter if they miss, because they can always try again. Gabbro would see right through it instantly- it wouldn’t make much difference in terms of getting the door open, but it would absolutely hurt to try and fail at something so simple.

They wait a moment, then try to start to match their breathing to the sound of Gabbro’s, filtering gently through the radio. They wish this was easier to forgive themself for, being so helpless after so much training. They wish it was easier to just allow the other Hearthian to support them now that they need it in a new way.

Then they finally relax, letting Gabbro’s grip guide their aim.

“Thank you.” Gabbro squeezes their hands gently. “Launch when you’re ready. I’ve got you.”

Sanidine nods once. “I know you do. Like you said. We’re Time Buddies.”

They pull the launch trigger, and the scout flies true. The door sails cleanly away, and both of them sigh in unison as Sanidine hits the recall. The path down is revealed, and the momentum of the door keeps it from hitting the walkways this time as it tumbles into the black hole below.

Brittle Hollow’s interior awaits.

Chapter Text

The path into Brittle Hollow is made significantly easier when the bridges are intact. Sanidine takes the lead this time, in part because they’re still a little too jittery when Gabbro is in between them and the black hole. The pair feather their jetpacks when necessary, and the only thing keeping them from simply jumping between the rocks- something Sanidine is sorely tempted to do- is the fear that the beast below may somehow destroy them so utterly that not even the time loop will save them.

“Hm. Even the Nomai were afraid of that thing.” Sanidine muses, scanning over the words on the translator screen. They’ve come to a stop halfway down the bridge path, and nothing is as capable of distracting the youngest member of Outer Wilds Ventures quite like the spiraling characters of Nomai writing. “Or, I suppose, at least concerned enough to warn people about it.”

“Sani, if we ever find someone who isn’t afraid of a black hole, Nomai or no, then we’ve found someone crazier than we are. And I think we’ve gone pretty crazy.” Gabbro observes, kicking a rock over the edge and peering at it as it falls. As terrifying as the black hole is, the way it distorts light is utterly captivating. Gabbro wishes it were something they could capture in a piece of art, but without the majesty of the behemoth’s scale, they fear it would lose something vital.

“We’re having this conversation in the first place. That’s pretty crazy.” Sanidine confirms. They fold the translator, looking back just in time to see Gabbro kicking another piece of rock. “Are you trying to feed it or something?”

Gabbro grins. “Nah. But that’d be nice. Maybe we could make friends with it.”

Sanidine smiles as they slip the translator back into its secure pouch. They offer Gabbro their hand, and once they feel the other astronaut’s palm against theirs they start walking toward the footpaths again. “Maybe. I wonder what kind of stories it would tell us around a campfire.”

“I think probably very old ones.” Gabbro says. Both of them rest their free hands against their jetpack thrust controls. When Sanidine glances at them, they take the opportunity to try to dig into that fragile part of their soul that used to see art in so many places. “Old like gravity, or light. The kind of things the stars know when they’re born, and they spend their whole lives burning from it.”

“You make it sound beautiful.” Sanidine says, after a moment to process this. “You sure you didn’t study languages with us?”

Gabbro snorts. “Nah. Just been a bit since I felt good enough to try to get poetic about things.”

Sanidine sighs, squeezing Gabbro’s hand. “I don’t blame you. But it’s nice to hear you talk that way, you know?”

“Buddy,” Gabbro squeezes back, “It feels nice to talk that way.”

Any further conversation is immediately stifled when they round the next corner, stolen in a pair of gasps.

The Nomai escape pod survivors had discussed fleeing under the surface, but neither of them is prepared to see the settlement that unfolds before them. Buildings carved into the stone of the planet by careful hands, so long ago, still intact. Stalactites turned into homes, lamps still flickering with power from whatever source the Nomai left. Bridges crisscross between multiple floors per structure, an intricate web of pathways.

There, ahead of them, a symbol that burns brilliant blue. It sends a jolt through Sanidine, and they take off running ahead of Gabbro, reaching for their translator. “That’s!”

“Sani!” Gabbro gasps, breaking into a run after them.

Sanidine nearly trips on the way in when their next step simply meets empty air, and they flare their jetpack reflexively before dropping to the floor below, staring up at pattern on the wall. The shrine- for there’s really nothing else to call it- is all built around the central image of the Eye of the Universe.

Gabbro catches up a moment later, and they grab Sanidine’s shoulder tightly. “Please don’t do that over the black hole.”

Sanidine turns to look at them, their tone enough to shake them from their excitement for a moment. “I, uh. Sorry, Gabbro, I just.”

They turn back, eyes wide behind their visor. “It’s that symbol again. The Eye of the Universe.”

“Is that what that symbol is?” Gabbro looks up at it, squeezing Sanidine’s shoulder again. “Huh. I think I saw it once at the museum.”

Sanidine nods, fumbling the straps holding their translator in place again before grabbing their right hand in their left and pressing their thumb into their palm, hard. Deep breaths. It’s so hard to keep even. They finally pull the translator out and aim it, taking in every word silently.

This knowledge is too dear to lose.

The words echo in Sanidine’s head for a moment, as they lower the translator into its pouch again. The initial way the Hearthians had interpreted the eye symbol, as a decorative item, felt almost like an insult now. Knowledge that the Nomai cared so much about that they built a shrine to it in a place like this, knowledge of an impossibility they found before they even used their escape pods. They lean back against Gabbro, closing their eyes. “Stars.”

“Yeah.” Gabbro says, pressing their helmet against Sanidine’s. “I guess the Nomai could’ve been wrong about all that, but if it was this important to them then that feels… unlikely?”

Sanidine nods again. “I never- we thought it was some kind of decorative symbol. This, though. How is something older than the universe?”

Gabbro considers the question. “Well, I’m no Nomai scientist, so keep that in mind.”

“Mhm. Didn’t expect you to actually have an answer, you know.”

Gabbro smiles slightly. “I never said I do. But I wonder. There’s lakeside caves on Timber Hearth with these little tide pools in them, all kinds of stuff living in them, and one day I was looking at them and it got me to thinking. Our universe might be kind of like one of those little pools. Surrounded by a bunch of other universes, other tide pools, ones we’ll never know about, you follow?”

“I think so. Kinda weird to get that from tide pools.” Sanidine says, but Gabbro can hear the smile in their voice. “So, bunch of other universes around us?”

“Right. So this makes me think, what if something from a universe older than ours decided to peek in at us through the wall? Checking on their neighbors, or whatever.”

“That’s maybe a little terrifying, Gabbro.” Sanidine shakes their head, still smiling as they stand back up fully. “But, I admit, it’d be pretty amazing if you were right. If it were some kind of literal eye.”

“I don’t think I ever said anything about a literal eye.” Gabbro says, crossing their arms.

“No, but imagine.” Sanidine starts to the left, boosting up out of the divot the shrine is built into. “C’mon. It’s tense enough getting here once.”

Gabbro nods, now trying not to think about the cosmic scale of a literal eye of the universe, then boosts up after them. The pair leave through a crack in the wall.

Exploring the ruins is tricky, but the two Hearthians united are more than capable of it, even if they both startle a bit when rubble and dust shower down from a Hollow’s Lantern impact. The first room they reach is empty, but they drop down through a hole in the floor, undaunted. As soon as Sanidine spots Nomai script one more floor down, they’re easing themselves past a missing corner to get to it.

Gabbro yanks them to a nearby tree first. Their air levels are more or less fine, but Gabbro would much rather not have Sanidine’s breathless excitement turn into literal breathlessness.

“It just- I could’ve easily gotten it after the wall.” Sanidine insists, staring over Gabbro’s shoulder at the faintly glowing script.

“Yep.” Gabbro agrees. “And if I thought you would’ve stopped to do it then, I would’ve let you. But I’m not hauling you around half-conscious while hunting for another tree because you didn’t stop to let the suit restore its air.”

Of course, they will if Sanidine needs them to. They both know what Gabbro is really saying: please don’t make me watch you suffocate. Sanidine sighs. It’s not a thought they particularly enjoy. “Fine. Readout says I’m good now.”

Gabbro smiles a little,  then lets go of Sanidine’s arm. “Appreciate it.”

Sanidine wastes no time crossing the room. They pull the translator out, trying to put the image of Gabbro having to watch them suffocate out of their mind, and focus its lights on the text as best they can.

Their breath catches in their throat, as they start to read the message left behind by a Nomai named Kousa.

We can hear the other escape pods’ distress signals, which gives me hope. Foli, are you still here? I am unsure how to survive in this place without you.

The words dredge their own thoughts back to the surface, echoing back to them from the prior loop. Their heart sinks toward their stomach as they refocus the lenses on the text's sole branch.

(I am unsure how to be me without you.)

Sanidine goes still, save the gentle shaking of their hands as they lower the translator back into its pouch. They’re lost in their thoughts again, staring at the writing, wishing to reach back through it and embrace Kousa. Someone else had that feeling, once. Someone else, not bound to someone by a time loop, just a normal Nomai trying to survive after whatever forced them into their escape pods. The words feel like they give a shape to the feeling of emptiness Sanidine has been experiencing, that hollowness they had been so concerned about the origin of.

Does that make the feeling real, somehow? Does it make it okay, something that’s not just another poisoned part of the time loop’s effect on them, if other people have felt it?

It takes Gabbro physically turning them around and embracing them to finally shake them out of their head again. “Sani. Hey. Talk to me, buddy.”

Sanidine startles, then wraps their arms around Gabbro’s suit, taking a deep breath. “Hey. Sorry, Gabbro. I’m here, I’m. I’m right here.”

“You better be.” Gabbro says, quietly placing a hand against the back of Sanidine’s helmet. “What did you possibly read that got you like that?”

“I,” Sanidine’s words fail them again. How do they begin to explain this properly? They know Gabbro has felt it- that emptiness, as terrible and vast as the black hole below, carving through whatever passes for their soul at this point whenever they have to be separated. They’ve both mentioned it to each other. But they haven’t really talked about what it means for them.

After a long moment, they lift the translator from its pouch again, pulling back from Gabbro and offering them the device.

Gabbro stares at it for a moment. This is new, and it makes them suddenly uncomfortable. It almost feels wrong to take the translator out of Sanidine’s hands. It’s uniquely theirs, the tangible proof of who they used to be, a thread that ties them back to Hal. Handing it over has never been part of the equation before.

They wish the smaller astronaut’s faceplate wasn’t catching the light so well. They’d give anything in that moment to see a glimpse of Sanidine’s eyes, to try to understand what could possibly be going through their head.

They take the translator gingerly, terrified of breaking it. Lift the lenses, open the screen, aim and hit the trigger labeled ‘READ’. Just like they’ve watched Sanidine do several times now.

As Kousa’s words light up the screen, like Sanidine before them, Gabbro feels their breath catch in their throat. They look back at the other astronaut and for a moment, neither of them knows what to say, thoughts chasing feelings in circles in their heads. Knowing that someone else has said these things, felt these things, somewhere in the universe opens the door to the dizzying thought of confronting those emotions, and neither of them is quite sure how to begin to do that.

Gabbro gently slides the translator back into its pouch on Sanidine’s bag, not looking away from their faceplate. They hope Sanidine can see the way they’re trying to meet their eyes. Then they pull Sanidine into an embrace again, and the two spend several minutes just holding each other there in the ruins, trying to find the strength to talk again. Trying to find the words.

Hollow’s Lantern doesn’t give them the chance.

A deafening crash from above startles both of them, and they can only think to tense before the entire structure jolts. The way it rumbles as it starts to fall throws them off their feet, and Sanidine yelps as they topple out, tumbling toward the gaping maw below.

Gabbro jumps after them, eyes wide, and hits the thrust on their jetpack without hesitation. They don’t have time to think, to consider an angle, to make a plan. Just like Sanidine in the previous loop, they have a single thought: keep their time buddy away from the black hole.

This time, there’s no unfortunate rock or walkway. Sanidine manages to grasp their jetpack control and mashes the trigger, gritting their teeth, trying not to yell as the black hole’s grasp tightens around their legs. Their body feels like it’s threatening to tear in half, just like last time, and then Gabbro catches them and they’re soaring in tandem, arcing over the black hole’s edge and gaining entirely too much speed. Gabbro strains against the black hole’s pull as well, but they manage to gasp a “Got you!”

Sanidine bumps their helmet against the taller astronaut’s in acknowledgement, gasping for breath. They hold tight to each other, trying to sync their jetpack pulses as the crust of Brittle Hollow blurs above them.

There’s the gravity lift from last loop. Sanidine tries to correct into it. They miss, overcorrecting, and go sailing past it, and void take them they don’t have time to think about it, what is that thing hanging down in their path, it’s enormous, Nomai in origin, and-

The pair impact the Black Hole Forge going sideways, fast enough that it’s an actual miracle they don’t simply crack their helmets open right then and there. Mutually dazed but clinging to each other, pain shooting through their shoulders and arms on the impact side, they tumble back away from it.

Sanidine gasps for air, their mouth dry. They want to say something, if this is really their final moments with their time buddy. Their body aches deeply, their head still spinning a bit, though it’s alarmingly clear that the black hole has them at last. “Gabbro-”

“Nn.” Gabbro grunts in acknowledgement, struggling against the same disorientation and pain.

“-you were worth it.” They manage to say, before pressing their helmet against Gabbro’s chest.

There’s a distinct feeling of being pulled inward, and their vision goes black, both Hearthians closing their eyes against the distorting light.

Chapter Text

Sanidine and Gabbro both groan as they drift in zero gravity, still clung tightly to each other. Their sides and stomachs burn from the forces of the black hole and the jetpack, their arms- Sanidine’s left, Gabbro’s right- feel like they must be broken. They both have a fading sense of nausea from the warp. Sanidine’s throat scratches, the exertion having worn through part of the medicine’s protection. It’s cold, but it’s not the numb cold that comes from death. Neither wants to open their eyes until they have a simple, single realization.

They’re alive.

“Sani.” Gabbro says, quietly, once they can think clearly enough to speak. They crack their upper eyes slightly. That’s their sun, angry red starting to deepen in the distance, with some kind of structure eclipsing it. Their solar system spreads before them, and they blearily wonder just how far out they’ve found themselves. Debris floats around them, illuminated by something on their other side. They try to turn their head and look, then flinch at the pure white light that fills their vision, squeezing their eyes shut again. “Stars. Sani, say something. Anything. Please.”

“Ow.” Sanidine says, and Gabbro manages a breathless chuckle.

“That’s good enough. Can you open your eyes?”

Sanidine groans. “Is there anything to see?”

“Yeah. Plenty.” Gabbro winces, trying to move the arm they hit with and finding it to be a substantially bad idea. “Me, for example. Just don’t look to your, mm, right? It’s a little bright over there.”

Sanidine lets out a scratchy laugh, opening their eyes slowly to take in their surroundings. The solar system, in its glory and danger, spans their entire field of view off to their left. Its majesty is enough to make Sanidine gasp all on its own- but their eyes focus on the structure drifting in silhouette in front of the sun.

“Where are we?” They wonder aloud.

“Can’t say. We’ve got to be outside the orbit of Dark Bramble.” Gabbro muses.

Sanidine frowns. That should be impossible- the black hole should’ve torn them to pieces, leaving them at best waking up in the next loop, and at worst not waking up at all. Sure, Slate and Hornfels had conceived of a way to use recovered Nomai tech to “warp” the Little Scout back to its launcher, but that was on an incredibly small scale, and despite extensive study they didn’t really understand the principles behind the technology they “borrowed” yet.

They turn to look the other way and suck air through their teeth, squinting. The white light is brilliant, pure, unlike anything they’ve seen before.

On an impulse, they let go of Gabbro with their uninjured arm and lift it slowly to the light’s source.

“Careful.” Gabbro says, quietly.

“We just fell through a black hole and came out alive.” Sanidine says, before coughing once- which causes both of them to wince. “Careful kinda feels like it’s already thrown to the void at this point.”

“If you die now, do you know how mad I’m going to be?” Gabbro leans their helmet forward against Sanidine’s.

“Just let me see-” Sanidine stretches their arm a little further. The pressure against their palm jumps by leaps and bounds as they do, and they marvel at the feeling, until it’s finally solid enough that they’re pushing off of it and sending the two of them drifting slowly toward the structure instead. “Oh, wow.”

Gabbro responds with a low whistle. “Okay. So what did it feel like?”

“I don’t think I got to touch the actual thing.” Sanidine frowns, pulling their arm back. They turn to look at the structure ahead. “Anyway… I guess we better go check that out.”

Gabbro nods.

It’s a bit awkward to approach the Nomai station. Though their jetpack controls are mirrored, the control arms easily toggled, neither of them wants to risk losing the other out here. So they move in short bursts, trying not to press their luck with injured bodies. As tempting as it is to just fly to the gravity paneling that runs outside the station, Sanidine angles them carefully for the visible Nomai hatch, aware that their oxygen tanks aren’t going to hold out forever. The Nomai have been reliable so far about air, with their odd trees that have somehow survived for so long, and Sanidine has to believe a station this remote would include some way to breathe.

They’re rewarded for their faith by the click-hiss of their air tanks refilling, the hatch rotating to reveal the dim station within. The pair enter with gentle puffs of the Jetpack’s thrusters, gliding down until the gravity paneling catches them.

At which point Sanidine yelps and Gabbro grunts, the damage to their core muscles from resisting the black hole making itself alarmingly apparent. Their knees buckle as one and they both collapse into each other, winding up on the floor of the station in a heap.

“Stars above, that hurts.” Sanidine hisses through clenched teeth. Gabbro shifts a little and Sanidine screams involuntarily, punching the ground with their right fist.

Gabbro groans, before rolling to their left to free Sanidine’s trapped, broken arm. “Gh!”

Sanidine throws themself to the side and up to sitting to get their arm out of there, panting. “I’m okay!” They rasp, then cough twice, and Gabbro closes their eyes against the sound. “I’m okay. I’m fine. Just. Hurt a lot, but hey, nothing new for us, right?”

“Nothing new.” Gabbro manages, and pushes themself up to sitting despite the complaint in their muscles. They take a deep breath, slowly letting it go, then they turn their head to look at Sanidine. Sanidine, who’s clutching their arm, and looking straight back at Gabbro.

“The air should be good, if our tanks can pull it, right?” Sanidine wonders.

Gabbro nods slowly. “I think so, since the air near the trees on Giant’s Deep is. Might have some kind of long-term poison or whatever. It’s been longer for me than for you since the air tank training.”

“Yeah, well, you know how rookies are.” Sanidine reaches up and unfastens their helmet with their good arm, setting it aside and groaning as they shake their ears out. The station’s air is breathable, even unfiltered, and the smell of the alien trees is uniquely mellow and sweet.

Tears are still staining their cheeks, but they’re giving Gabbro a small smile. They look so small against the dim light, and Gabbro removes their own helmet in turn, returning the smile with one of their own. “How’s your arm?”

“Hah.” Sanidine exhales, long and low. “Honestly, compared to being pinned up on the ceiling of Brittle Hollow, it’s not that bad. I can survive it until we go back. Which means I’m going to find out where we are before I lay back down.”

Gabbro nods, laying back against the tile and focusing on breathing. “I suppose that’s all I can ask. Don’t hurt yourself worse translating anything.”

“I’ll do my best.” Sanidine says, before slowly- and with no shortage of groans- rising to their feet. “Don’t go anywhere yourself.”

Gabbro snorts. “I’m perfectly happy to just lay here and talk to you until I wake up on the beach again, thanks. No idea how you’re up and moving.”

“Enthusiasm for learning?” Sanidine offers, their voice a bit shaky. Getting to their feet and standing took an annoying amount of effort, and they’re letting themself catch their breath before moving again.

“I was thinking you’re just that stubborn.” Gabbro says, turning their head a little to grin at Sanidine. The younger astronaut rolls their lower eyes, grinning back, then makes their way haltingly over to the script wall.

Sanidine goes through the painful process of unfolding the translator tool with a broken arm, and starts coughing again halfway through. They lean on the wall and swallow air and try to ignore the burning in their throat. Their lungs don’t hurt. They don’t have to put the helmet back on. They can do this.

They pointedly ignore Gabbro’s concerned look, knowing it’ll be there if they turn around, and grasp the translator tightly.

Poke. A new name. Sanidine tries not to think about how long it’s been since someone last knew it.

They glance back at Gabbro. “Poke says welcome to White Hole Station.”

Gabbro sighs. “Catchy. Not sure the Nomai really understood the art of naming places.”

“Mm, maybe not.” Sanidine clears their throat. “Sounds like people fell through the black hole plenty. Enough that they built this place to help them get back, using, uh, some kind of warp tower. Makes it sound like there were multiple.”

“Warp towers. Those sound almost as useful as a space station on the other side of a black hole.” Gabbro says, and Sanidine gets about three giggles in before they start coughing.

They recover quickly enough that Gabbro can’t try to get up, and start to walk back toward the taller astronaut. “Ugh. There’s more, but we can read it later. I’m tired of standing.”

Gabbro limply pats the floor with their good arm. “Now you sound like me talking to Hornfels. And nobody should sound like me talking to Hornfels. Come lay down, the view’s not completely empty yet.”

“How uplifting.” Sanidine grunts, easing themself down beside their time buddy. “The sky isn’t completely empty yet. Come lay with me and watch it finish dying.”

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t exactly going for a romantic invitation.”

“Hm.”

Sanidine’s good hand finds Gabbro’s, and they take hold and squeeze, staring up at the sparse stars through the station’s glass. For a moment, they think they might just let the quiet carry them into the next loop, however long that might take. It wouldn’t be so hard. They didn’t need to discuss anything.

As though that would ever work.

“Hey, Gabbro?” Sanidine whispers, their voice hoarse. “What are we?”

For a moment, Gabbro halfway wants to respond with a joke. ‘Oh, we’re Hearthians, you hit your head too?’ or ‘Time buddies, obviously’. But Sanidine’s tone is impossible to mistake for casual, and Gabbro’s been feeling it too. They need to have this conversation.

If only it wasn’t so hard to figure out the answer.

“Well,” Gabbro whispers back, after letting things stew in their head for a moment. “I don’t really know.”

“Yeah.” Sanidine sighs, closing their eyes. “I don’t know either. I thought, you know, time buddies. That just, it’s us stuck in the loop, would kinda explain everything that went past things I understood. But.”

“But,” Gabbro steals a glance at Sanidine, “It’s not that simple. Because Kousa probably didn’t meet Foli through being terrified. And Kousa wasn’t in a time loop. But the way they wrote that, it felt like…”

“Like what I think every time I wake up and you’re on Giant’s Deep again?” Sanidine squeezes Gabbro’s hand, more for their own reassurance than for Gabbro’s. “Or how I felt when you died, or when we got split up in Timber Hearth?”

“Or how I felt when I thought you wouldn’t be able to reach me because of Hal. Or even just when I saw you falling.” Gabbro squeezes back, returning their gaze to the inky void beyond. “Yeah. Like they felt the same thing.”

“I don’t know how to be me without you.” Sanidine shivers unpleasantly. “I assumed it was, just, being stuck like this. Watching each other die. Not something anyone would’ve felt before, because nobody’s ever had to experience this before. And now I don’t know what to think of it.”

“Do you think,” Gabbro starts to say, then stops. Sanidine looks over, frowning.

“Do I think what?”

“I’m going to sound ridiculous.” Gabbro says, flatly. “But do you think it’s something like love?”

“I-” Sanidine’s mouth quirks. “Are you asking me if I love you?”

“I’m not sure?” Gabbro closes their eyes. “I don’t even know if that’s what this is.”

“Well, neither do I. But.” Sanidine squeezes their hand. They feel as uncertain as Gabbro does, but not angry, not afraid. A part of them aches to ask one of their old mentors for advice, although they know their words are out of reach for the moment. “What happens if I do? If that’s what this is?”

“Then,” Gabbro shakes their head. “Then I don’t know. Because this isn’t, at all, like what you and Hal seem to have. And if it somehow gets in the way of that, when we’re out of this-”

“Stop.” Sanidine says, a little too quickly. They focus on taking a deep breath, on the way it rakes over their throat like they’re inhaling thorns. They exhale, focusing on the way their chest tries to pull into a cough. They focus on Gabbro’s hand, the most real thing in the entire universe. Anything to keep them in the moment.

Gabbro turns their head, and doesn’t know what to think when they find Sanidine’s pale yellow eyes fixed on theirs, tears already running down their cheek onto the tile below.

“Before,” Sanidine finally starts. “Before you say another word. You and I both already know you can’t get in the way of something that doesn’t exist anymore. Of Hal loving someone who died on Giant’s Deep. So stop.”

The way their eyes trace Gabbro’s expression is enough to make all of the reassurances and vague hopes the taller astronaut wants to offer fade. Sanidine is right, and Gabbro knows it. And maybe, one day, the two of them can still be something, because stars know if anyone deserves that it’s Hal and Sanidine. But the Sanidine Hal knew left Timber Hearth and never came back.

Now the person that the supernova left behind is staring into their eyes, and Gabbro’s heart is pounding. There can’t be that much time left in the loop, they know. It’s tempting to simply linger in the quiet for a minute, after such a painful admission. Tempting, but terrifically unfair to Sanidine.

“You’re right. I know you’re right.” Gabbro finally says, quietly. “I’m sorry you had to say it.”

Sanidine sighs, not yet looking back at the empty black outside. “I already knew it when I was dying on the ceiling, and I know you knew it too. Not saying it doesn’t change anything.”

They squeeze Gabbro’s hand gently. “But. You’re right, this isn’t anything like what Hal and I had. I never wanted to just be around Hal, around anyone until now. Is that love?”

“Is it?” Gabbro wonders, running their thumb along the back of Sanidine’s hand. Even here at the end of the loop, the medicine’s tremors haven’t fully released their grip. “I don’t remember ever wanting to be close to someone like I have been with you, physically, in my life. Nobody. Not Chert, not Gossan, nobody until you.”

Sanidine finally smiles a little. “I never wanted to be close to Hal like I do with you. Don’t think I ever even considered listening to their heart beating for the better part of an hour while drifting through space. I would’ve gone crazy trying to find something to do.”

Gabbro manages to return that smile. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to listen to someone get as excited as you do, either. You know that? Whenever one of the others starts to talk about their thing, it’s hard to focus and understand them. I don’t know why, but I feel like I can listen to you talk about the Nomai for hours.”

“Heh. I feel the same way about listening to you talk about art, or that philosophical story you came up with about the tide pools. Hornfels would always have to get my attention again when they went on for too long, but it’s like I can barely get you to talk enough.” Sanidine says.

“So.” Gabbro swallows, trying to clear a lump in their throat that threatens to block their words. “Sanidine. Do you think that means you love me?”

The station rattles as much as their bodies when the supernova’s shockwave impacts. Out here, there’s no good way to know it's coming. Time’s almost up.

Sanidine presses ahead regardless, despite the nervous twisting in their stomach. “I think it means I do. I think it means I love you, or something like it. Do you think it means you love me?”

“Yeah. I do. I think it might mean I love you, too.” Gabbro’s still smiling, although their heart couldn’t possibly be louder in their ears. “I guess, we’ll figure out what that actually makes us next time.”

“I guess so.” Sanidine’s grip tightens around Gabbro’s hand, and they fight past their anxieties and pain to say words that feel so alien and yet so right. “I love you, Gabbro. See you soon.”

“I love you, Sanidine. I’ll be waiting.”

The two are still smiling when that familiar agony claims their bodies.

The universe ends.

Chapter Text

Sanidine gasps awake.

Briefly, their mind is still on the White Hole Station, their hand closing around empty air as though Gabbro’s might still be there. That happened. That happened. Stars above, they’d actually found it in them to say those things, and Gabbro hadn’t shut them down. It’s a shift in their understanding of things almost as big as their realization of the time loops.

They fling themself out of their bag and freeze halfway to the elevator to cast a glance at Slate, who is staring at them in that familiar, ‘what the hell are you doing’ way. Not willing to let Slate get any funny ideas about stopping them, they step onto the elevator before they turn around again.

“Hey Slate,” Good, natural enough, Slate probably didn’t notice the exhaustion in their eyes, this is fine. “You ever fall in love with someone?”

Slate sputters for a second, then jumps to their feet. “What? Hold on, now, hatchling, what kind of question is that? And don’t you need to-”

“Slate! Listen, I’m curious. Humor me?”

For a moment, Slate considers giving Sanidine a piece of their mind for interrupting. Then they sigh, crossing their arms, ears lowering. They could mention Gneiss, for all that they and Gneiss are anything more than just complicated friends. They could tell the hatchling about Feldspar, but frankly, they don’t even like thinking about the way Feldspar left them feeling. They try not to get angry at Sanidine for that. The hatchling couldn’t have known.

That doesn’t make it any more okay for them to just ask something like that, and their eyes narrow. “Maybe. What’s got you wanting to know, huh? I was expecting you to jump up and start begging me for launch codes, Sanidine, not asking about my personal business like you’re entitled to know.”

Sanidine’s ears lower in kind. Ah. Why had they thought that would be- they hadn’t even considered how to approach the subject. They swallow, then shake their head and throw the elevator lever. They can’t do this after all. This was a stupid idea. In their head, Slate would be able to give them some advice, as ridiculous as the question is. In reality, if it isn’t the threat of the supernova making them avoid people entirely, the pure freedom they have to share with Gabbro seems to have eroded what’s left of their ability to talk to others.

Stars. They get in their ship and hit the radio toggle first, refusing to let this break their mood. “Gabbro?”

“Good morning from Giant’s Deep, buddy. Is buddy still an appropriate thing to call someone after all that?”

Gabbro’s voice makes the tension simply flow out of Sanidine. They fire the ship’s engines and take off, leaving Slate to their frustration. They try very hard not to think they can simply try again another time, maybe with Gabbro with them, to keep them from saying something so void-brained.

Sanidine shrugs,angling the ship for its gravity boost toward Giant’s Deep. “I’ve got no clue. Partner?”

“Partner sounds nice.” Gabbro says.

Sanidine can hear their smile, and they let the ship handle the rest of the trip as soon as the gravity boost is over, getting up to fetch food. “We’re still time buddies, though.”

“Oh, always. Time buddies is another name for ‘in love’, in fact.”

“You came up with it, so what you say goes.” Sanidine smiles, now. They’re not really used to the idea of being in love, to be honest, but they’re certain that they’re not wrong. Maybe ‘time buddies’ does mean love, and it’s the difference between theirs and someone else’s. They think they’d like that.

When Gabbro simply starts playing their flute while walking, Sanidine bends over to start rifling through the ship’s storage compartment. They’ve been in the loop long enough by now that they don’t really remember what all is in it, and they’re curious enough to look while they eat. There’s some spare clothing behind all the food, which they definitely won’t need. An extra bedroll, sealed box of spare water rations, a bundle of marshmallow sticks.

A small box they don’t recognize.

Their hand lingers on it. There’s thin wrapping paper covering it, no doubt Gneiss’ work. The box itself feels solid, probably wood.

They pull it out into the light. Plain brown paper, definitely Gneiss- most of the others who would’ve had a chance to sneak this aboard would use something more fancy. There’s a label on it that reads ‘For Sani, from The Team’, written in Gneiss’ hand, but there’s signatures there from Slate, Hornfels, and Gossan as well.

Sanidine’s heart pounds. They lift the box and gingerly set it beside the equipment rack, then start packing the rest away again. They’re not sure they can bear to open it yet, but now they know it’s there, and that means it should be there every loop. They’ll open it with Gabbro, they decide. Later.

For now, they settle in with a can of what they’re pretty sure is a root vegetable stew, and listen to Gabbro play. They try not to get too distressed when tornadoes interrupt the music. Gabbro can take care of themself on Giant’s Deep, after all. Not that the sounds of the island being thrown aren’t frustrating, simply because every so often, Gabbro makes a pained noise when something lands wrong, and that sets all kinds of things in Sanidine on edge.

Thankfully, Gabbro is still intact when Sanidine’s ship parts the clouds above. Sanidine weaves through a pair of tornadoes, then rights it and brings it in at what’s rapidly become the landing side of the island. It’s a blessing for Gabbro’s sanity that the younger astronaut is wearing their suit and helmet when they drop out of the hatch, for once.

They meet halfway between the fire and the ship, and Sanidine nearly tackles Gabbro. They hold to each other as tightly as ever, Sanidine’s helmet pressed against Gabbro’s chest, but there’s a renewed purpose in it.

“Hey, Gabbro. I still think I love you.” Sanidine says, looking up at the taller astronaut’s face. It’s hard to see their smile clearly through the visor, but Gabbro hears it in their voice all the same.

“Hey, Sani. I still think I love you too.” Gabbro says, smiling right back.

They get to work, both riding the high of reaffirming something that was so hard to figure out. Gabbro finishes the cooking process for the syrup, Sanidine collects Gabbro’s equipment and flute.

They’re on the way to Brittle Hollow before the after-medicine marshmallow has a chance to finish dissolving in Sanidine’s mouth.

“So,” Gabbro sits down beside the equipment rack, still wearing their suit, albeit without the gloves and helmet. No point taking it off just to have to put it on again at Brittle Hollow, unless Sanidine asks them to. “What’s the package?”

“Oh, right.” Sanidine swings out of their seat, walking over to retrieve the box. They drop to sit beside Gabbro, running a hand over the lid. “This thing was in my storage compartment, but it was stuffed way behind everything. Gneiss never told me about it, so I guess it was supposed to be a surprise for my launch day, but.”

“But now it’s been your launch day for over a week.” Gabbro observes. “They didn’t mention it when you were getting your chest looked at?”

“No.” Sanidine frowns, ears lowering a bit. “I mean. If they did, I don’t remember it. Things were kind of, you know.”

Gabbro nods, reaching out to run their hand down Sanidine’s arm. “I know. I probably know what it is, if you want to hear it.”

“Mm?”

“So when Chert joined the Venture, the story goes, the founders decided any new astronauts would receive a surprise gift they all agreed on. For Chert, that was that bandanna they’re always wearing. Mine was my hammock. Riebeck, you know that beanie they’re always wearing under their helmet? Same deal.” Gabbro smiles. “This has to be your gift. Maybe they wanted to see if you’d find it.”

Sanidine looks down at the package, mouth quirking. “Well. Huh. I… do you think I should open it?”

“Good question.” Gabbro stretches, leaning back against the spare suit and watching Sanidine curiously. “If it were me, I think I would. Maybe it’ll help you feel closer to them again.”

Sanidine’s heart aches, thinking of Gneiss and the founders, but it’s gentle. The constant ache of missing those you care about, not the sharp pain of seeing their final moments, or the agony of watching them repeat the same motions. They can’t help the admission that slips out. “I, uh, messed up with Slate this loop. Asked them if they’d ever been in love, out of nowhere.”

Gabbro snorts. “You did what?”

“I was nervous!” Sanidine crosses their arms defensively. “They- they’re always right there, when I wake up, and I don’t know, I thought, maybe- look, don’t pretend you didn’t spend the start of this one just thinking, because I know you did!”

“Of course I did! But even I wouldn’t ask Slate about love!” Gabbro bursts into laughter, only somewhat tinged by how weary they still are. “Stars above, Sani, they probably thought you’d lost your mind!”

“They definitely looked like they thought I lost my mind.” Sanidine grumbles, ears and face a hot purple. They’re managing to smile despite their embarrassment. Even at their own expense, even with the exhaustion of the time loops still burned into the sound, it’s nice to hear Gabbro laughing again.

They wait for Gabbro to collect themself again before they continue. “I’m glad someone thinks it was funny.”

“Ah, you can’t blame me for that.” Gabbro reaches across to take Sanidine’s hands in their own, smiling. “You’re right, I was pretty nervous when I woke up, too. Not sure I’ve ever even said the words I love you to someone like that before.”

Sanidine sighs. “Yeah, me neither. Honestly, I think my brain just forgot I wasn’t talking to you.”

“Ah.” Gabbro nods, then leans forward to press their forehead against Sanidine’s gently. “You know what? I think I wouldn’t do any better right now.”

That gets a smile on Sanidine’s face again. It’s still tired, still a little sad no matter what they do, but it’s a proper smile. “Well, hopefully we won’t have to find out anytime soon. Plenty to keep us busy.”

Gabbro runs their thumbs along the backs of Sanidine’s hands. The tremors are there, inevitably, and they wish they had some way to at least slow their progress. “There is. Going to open your box?”

“Probably. Someone’s got me occupied.”

“Mm. Your hands shake, but they aren’t weak. Don’t act like I’m holding you still.”

Sanidine sighs, and this time it’s overwrought and playful. “I don’t know if I can tear myself away, my love.”

Gabbro snorts, squeezing their hands before letting go to shove Sanidine’s shoulder. “And just where did you pick that up from?”

Sanidine breaks into a small fit of giggles, hands falling on the box again. “You’d be amazed the kinds of things that you can find in the library back home.”

“I’m sure I wouldn’t.” Gabbro grins. “Open the box, Sani. I’m excited to see what’s in there.”

“Fine, fine.”

Sanidine tears open the package, then marvels at the contents. There’s a wrapped bag of something, yes, but the box has all of their attention.

The box within is made of Hearth Pine, polished just until it shines, the scent of the trees clinging to it. It fits neatly in one hand, wider than it is deep or tall, and feels reassuringly solid in their fingers.

Gabbro whistles, low and long, deeply impressed.

There’s something familiar about the shape, actually. The size. Sanidine can’t place it, so they thumb the little clasp on the front, then lift the lid.

Then they nearly drop the box as though it bit them, and even Gabbro’s eyes go wide.

The harmonica is objectively beautiful, there’s no questioning that. It rests atop a holster of sorts, one that’s easy to slot onto either the suit’s belt or their pants, it’s made of a combination of exceptionally smooth dark violet wood that Sanidine can’t immediately recognize and metal that definitely came from Slate’s precious reserves of ship-grade alloys, and it’s stunning. The top has a carving, Nomai script that Sanidine doesn’t need the translator to read. It’s basic phonetics, clumsy by any measure, but one of the first things they and Hal figured out how to translate phonetically: the word Sanidine. There’s something about its actual functional design that’s distinct, as well, a small funnel-shaped button built into the right side, something that Fe- that theirs never had.

It’s incredible. A work of art, love poured into every inch of it. Sanidine wants to cling to it for the rest of their life. Sanidine wants to throw it out of the hatch into the black and never open the box again.

Sanidine kind of wants to throw up. The silence is thick and heavy, and the two stare at the harmonica like it’s some kind of explosive.

“I’m gonna kill them.” Gabbro says, finally.

“No, I- no.” Sanidine says, slowly setting the box down. “Let me look at it. It’s different.”

Gabbro grimaces. “You look like you’re going to be sick, Sani. They should’ve known better. Gossan should’ve known better.”

Sanidine shakes their head. They lift the harmonica gently in both hands, rubbing the engraving with their thumb. It’s flawless Nomai script. They wonder if Gneiss had to ask Hal for the exact spacing and design of the characters. The harmonica is heavier than the one they were allowed to hold a few times as a hatchling, more complex. It’s a good weight in their palm. Solid. They’re not sure if they hate that thought or not.

They lift their eyes to Gabbro, holding it out to them. “I, um. This isn’t like theirs. It’s, I don’t even know if it’s really the same kind of instrument.”

“It better not be.” Gabbro mutters, taking the harmonica to look it over.

Sanidine sighs, setting the box aside and lifting the bag. It’s made of paper, and there’s something fabric inside. They bitterly think that if they pull a stars-forsaken red scarf out of there they really will kill someone, ethics be damned. Just bring the ship down on Gossan or Gneiss at enough speed that they and Gabbro don’t have to care about the aftermath.

It’s not really a fair thought, but it feels good, so they let it linger in their head while they work the bag open.

The fabric spills into their lap, an indistinct pile of deep blue and black. Flecks of silvery thread sparkle like the stars, and pale blue Nomai designs run along the edges. A scarf, but nothing like the ones Gossan and Feldspar shared. The fabric is so soft in their fingers they can’t find it themself to be upset, not over this or the instrument. There’s nothing here but love in every stitch, a quiet request to the universe that this scarf somehow be enough to keep another young astronaut safe and warm against its darkest corners.

Sanidine’s fingers curl into it, and tears threaten to spill from their eyes. “Oh.”

Gabbro sets the harmonica down in its box, reaching over to pull Sanidine against their chest. There’s still embers of anger in them, but a thorough inspection of the instrument has smothered most of them. Its resemblance to the one that went quiet years ago is no deeper than the one between Gneiss’ guitar and Riebeck’s banjo. Two examples of the same base. The only anger that still lurks is over the implied comparison, and even then, Gabbro knows they can hardly blame Gneiss and the Ventures crew for it. Even Sanidine compared themself to Feldspar aspirationally, before all of this happened. Back when they loved the universe openly, even after it had hurt them once.

It’s just another twist of fate's knife that these gifts, with so much care put into them, reach a Sanidine who no longer looks at the stars with the same endless wonder. Gabbro hopes someday they will again.

“You know, I never picked.” Sanidine whispers. “I could never choose. I knew Gneiss was going to get tired of waiting, I just didn’t think it’d be something so...”

“Gneiss never half-does. You know that.” Gabbro whispers back.

“I guess they don’t.” Sanidine lifts their head, smiling despite the tears running down their cheeks. “Listen, I. I don’t know what they. I need to talk to them, after all this. Figure out why they chose it.”

Gabbro smiles as well. Thank goodness, Sanidine is okay. They thought, for a moment, that encouraging them to open the box might turn into one of their bigger mistakes, right after the pair had figured out how to say ‘I love you’. “Well, if you want to try to learn to play, I’ll help. Not like we have to spend every loop searching for answers, right?”

Sanidine nods. “Yeah. I’ll think about it. Not something we’re doing this time around, anyway.”

Gabbro shrugs. “Not unless you want to take another detour into a black hole. That station was kind of nice. Peaceful.”

“Hah.” Sanidine rolls their lower eyes, then presses their head into Gabbro’s shoulder. “I think I could find just about anywhere peaceful enough if we’re together, at this point.”

“Yeah. I think I agree.” Gabbro says.

Brittle Hollow grows larger in the distance, and the pair close their eyes to wait.

Chapter Text

Once they arrive in orbit, Sanidine and Gabbro take little time to reach the old Nomai settlement on Brittle Hollow again. The path is easier now, their movements faster. The Black Hole, they now know, is no real threat to them.

Gabbro follows the glittering trail of Sanidine’s scarf along another jump, and muses on how appropriate it is that someone so lost in the stars is now wrapped in them. Their misgivings about whether or not it’s appropriate to give Sanidine these specific gifts aside, they do fit their partner, and Sanidine has honestly recovered well from the initial surprise.

They reach the eye shrine in record time, and Sanidine briefly considers that once they’re out of this, they’d kind of like the pattern added to the scarf’s ends. Whether or not it winds up being connected to their situation, it’s clearly a vital piece of the Nomai’s history, and that means it’s inevitably a piece of the history of their solar system. Then they’re moving again, exploring the ruined settlement with bursts of jetpack thrust and eager jumping.

There’s no shortage of messages left behind. More musings on loss cover one of the settlement’s larger walls, easily over a dozen of them. The pair spend a somber moment absorbing them, leaning into each other’s hold and hoping these Nomai found their missing halves eventually. When they finally move on, Gabbro spots some writing hidden behind one of the upper-level structures they’ve been sticking to, and the two of them clamber their way to it around the edges.

“Huh.” Sanidine says, inspecting the text. “This is interesting. Looks like a hatchling’s kind of scribbling.”

Gabbro glances at it, then at Sanidine. “How can you tell?”

“Well, it’s only a guess. But I saw writing kind of like this before, on Giant’s Deep.” Sanidine pulls the translator out, folding its screen open. “The words they used, how they used them, it reminded me of reading things the hatchlings back home write, when they want to share them. Plus, the handwriting. Not like I have room to comment on someone else having, uh, shaky handwriting right now, but most Nomai script is very tight and compact compared to this. It looks like someone inexperienced wrote it.”

Gabbro nods. They’re mostly just glad that Sanidine is lighthearted enough to joke about their tremors, for the moment.

Sanidine activates the translator, and as the words unravel onto the screen, they can’t stop themself from starting to snicker. “Stars. After all that work to get over here. Wonder if it was easier for you, Ilex.”

Look out, look out below! / Look out for the gravity hole! / For should you slip / And lose your grip, / Then into space you’ll go!

Gabbro chuckles, shaking their head. “The Nomai had poets after all. Talented ones, too!”

Sanidine grins, sliding the translator back into its pouch. “I’ll make sure to update Riebeck and Hornfels so they can apologize to you in person for thinking the Nomai didn’t appreciate poetry. Right now let’s try the lower level, then circle around and make sure we didn’t miss anything by the way in.”

Gabbro nods, and they set off again.

Passing through the darkened buildings with their flashlights on, Sanidine finally realizes what’s setting them on edge about being here. The buildings are empty. Not empty of life- that’s expected- but empty of signs of life. It’s like someone came to empty them out long before they arrived, for some reason. No furniture other than the occasional tree, no decorations that aren’t painted or carved into the walls. The ruins somehow feel all the more desolate for it.

The pair redirect toward the center column, and upon landing from a particularly lengthy jump, Sanidine gasps and rushes forward. Underneath the shrine to the Eye, they’ve found the most intact example of Nomai mural work that either of them has ever seen, and the story it tells sends shivers through both Hearthians.

“Is that Dark Bramble?” Gabbro wonders, unable to hide the hint of fear in their voice. The one place no Hearthian dared to even talk about going, especially since that Anglerfish had been found on Chert’s landing strut after they attempted mid-range photography of the place. The den of monsters at the edge of the system, a place of rumors and hatchling bogeymen.

“I think so.” Sanidine says, eyes wide. They step forward, pointing at the mural. “Those look like the escape pod, which means this-” -their finger drifts to the larger shape- “-must be the Vessel, and it must’ve been looking for the Eye.”

“Never seen anything quite like that.” Gabbro crosses their arms and looks around, then taps Sanidine’s shoulder. “Text over there.”

“Ah.” Sanidine nods, pulling out the translator tool. “Yeah. Just, wow. Never seen an intact mural like that before, on that scale, and if I had the time I’d totally take some samples of the paint and try to at least photograph it before our new friend down there swallows it, so I was kind of. Focused. Anyway, I suppose it’s not going anywhere for long.”

“Our new friend isn’t even destructive. You lose an artifact once we’re out of this, we can fly out there and I’ll hop out and tether it for you.” Gabbro grins. “Show you why they always asked me to check on Ol’ Spacey.”

Sanidine snorts, aiming the translator. “Ol’ Spacey? You know what, hold on, let me get this translation done first.”

Thatch, Plume, and Filix again. The Vessel arrived somewhere it wasn’t meant to be- Dark Bramble, if the mural is to be believed, which makes Sanidine’s scales crawl. No wonder they had to use escape pods, they think, if such an awful and remote place claimed their Vessel.

We warped to follow that curious signal from the Eye of the Universe. Where we arrived was wrong; it wasn’t where we tried to go.

“They did come here from outside the system. Otherwise, they would’ve known to avoid the Bramble.” Sanidine looks at Gabbro. “It says they warped, too.”

“Like the Nomai things Slate installed in the scout launcher?” Gabbro crosses their arms, tapping one elbow. “I think I remember hearing them say they weren’t really quite sure how it worked.”

“They haven’t made any progress on it that I heard about. But I’m trying to picture something the size of even the Escape Pods moving like that, and, well.” Sanidine puts the translator away again, tugging at their scarf with their other hand. “It’s hard to imagine what kind of power that would require, and how it would even know where to go.”

Gabbro nods, looking back at the mural. “Hornfels always did go on about how advanced they had to be, but I think even they would struggle to believe it.”

Sanidine grins. “Tell you what, I’ll make sure you’re there when I tell them about it after we get out of this. So you can see the look on their face.”

“Ooh, now I know this is love.” Gabbro grins as well, earning a playful elbow from Sanidine.

“So, while we work our way back up, you get to explain what in the stars you meant by Ol’ Spacey.” Sanidine says, starting to head back. Hollow’s Lantern drops a meteor overhead, sending dust and small stones raining down into their path, and they grumble a bit while waiting for the line of sight to clear.

Gabbro shrugs. “That deep space satellite Hornfels designed. Had some kind of anomaly on one of the trial photos, so they sent me out to look at it a few times.”

“Huh. Do they know you gave it a name?” Sanidine asks.

“Of course. They think it’s ridiculous, but I bet they’d like it if they gave it a try.” Gabbro says, as they boost up through a ruined building.

“Like time buddies.” Sanidine muses, rounding through the eye shrine and heading back toward the way they came in.

Gabbro smiles. “Exactly! You’re starting to get it.”

“You give everything a name like that?”

“Only things I care about, time buddy.”

“Hah. Okay, fair.” Sanidine stops at the path that brought them in. There’s another route leading off to the right, with tantalizing Nomai text, but they glance back to make sure Gabbro reaches them before they head toward it.

Gabbro glances at the suit’s status readout, then shrugs and follows Sanidine. If they run low on jetpack fuel- entirely possible- there’s always Riebeck’s camp. Riebeck would no doubt be difficult to handle for them both, but their fellow astronaut would definitely have a spare tank of fuel for the pair to use.

Whether the reliable tree they’ve refilled their air at once again was left by Kousa or another Nomai, Gabbro is quietly grateful for it. Thanks to it, they had enough oxygen to reach the White Hole Station in the previous loop. And thanks to it now, the idea of having to confront Riebeck is even less likely to become a reality, and given Sanidine’s encounter with Slate in the morning neither one of them is likely ready to talk to another living being this loop.

Sanidine glances back at them again, attention torn from the translator by the realization that their partner is staring off at Kousa’s building. “Gabbro? Still with me?”

“Hm? Yeah.” Gabbro shakes their head. “Sorry. Don’t worry. Just thinking normally, not getting lost in the dark this time.”

Sanidine sighs, relief in every bit of air leaving their lungs. “Good. Stars, you had me worried.”

Gabbro walks over, grasping Sanidine’s shoulder. “If I start getting lost again, I already know you’ll catch me. No, though, I was just thinking about that tree.”

“Hm.” Sanidine smiles softly, glancing at Kousa’s dwelling. “It’s a good tree.”

Gabbro nods. “It is. What’ve you found?”

“Plume wanting to move to the northern glacier.” Sanidine scans over the text again, flinching slightly when Hollow’s Lantern assaults the Old Settlement once again. “Looks like they knew this place wasn’t stable, even back then.”

“No surprises there.”

“I guess not. They made a path using gravity crystals, apparently. Guessing that’s why this wall has them. And then there’s Thatch, Filix, and Plume discussing how nobody’s coming to save them.” Sanidine sucks air through their teeth. “Never thought I’d know that feeling so well.”

Gabbro squeezes Sanidine's shoulder. No words necessary- just enough to keep the smaller astronaut in the moment.

Sanidine slides the translator back into its pouch. “Sorry. I know. Not really the same thing.”

Gabbro shrugs as the pair start up the crystal-laden wall, hand in hand. “Eh, I don’t know. We’re just as lost, just as cut off, and just like them at least we’re not stuck in it alone. Nothing wrong with seeing the similarities.”

“I suppose.” Sanidine says. Their eyes widen as the full scope of the gravity crystal trail comes into view, though their stride doesn’t falter. At least that part of them has survived intact, the part that feels just as at home on Nomai gravity technology as it does on the ground. “Stars above, they laid these all the way across the underside of the crust?”

“Without a ship?” Gabbro wonders, trying not to consider the task. The White Hole Station is a Nomai invention, and one that- from the sound of things- probably came long after the Escape Pod reached Brittle Hollow. Without the safety nets of the time loop and the station, and with the Nomai so clearly without a ship, all that awaited anyone who fell through the black hole was suffocation.

It’s a deeply unpleasant train of thought, and they focus their eyes forward instead. The gravity crystals form a tidy path across the inside of Brittle Hollow’s skin, meticulously laid out so that there are no gaps in their coverage.

The ground beneath their feet shakes violently, Hollow’s Lantern making its presence known once again. In the distance, a piece of the crust grinds free of its fellows, falling away into the black hole and giving the pair a peek at the sun. They don’t linger on it or the red hues that are slipping into its color, instead picking up the pace toward the other end.

The courage and desperation of the Nomai who made the walk before them push both Hearthians onward silently, despite their hearts pounding in their chests.

Another impact sends them both stumbling, but they tighten their hold on each other’s hand, wordlessly. The glacier looms ahead, a path carved into it, illuminated with the pale glow of the gravity crystals. They quietly curse that, not expecting to travel anywhere particularly unusual on their “first voyage”, they didn’t pack appropriate boots at all- like Gabbro, they’re wearing basic treads, not the steel-spike ice cleats that are given to tree keepers in the winter.

The gravity crystals’ hold is, at least, enough to keep them from sliding too much as they step from rock to ice. The lack of friction is still a problem, of course.

As proven by Gabbro winding up off-balance, sending Sanidine into the wall backward and winding up pinning them there, not releasing their hand.

For a moment, the pair simply stay that way, staring through each other’s visors and listening to their shared breathing over the helmet radios. The tension of the walk slowly dissipates with the sight of each other’s eyes, even dimmed by the helmets’ tint.

“Hey.” Sanidine says, quietly. “You good?”

“I think so.” Gabbro says, squeezing Sanidine’s hand gently. “Appreciating not falling.”

“Would be frustrating to go oh for three.” Sanidine glances further in. There’s something at the end of the pathway, brighter lights, and they turn their head more fully. “Think we’re almost there.”

Gabbro pulls back, and Sanidine tests their footing. Once they’re both ready, they start into the glacier once again, hearts beating a little less loud in their ears.

Chapter Text

The last time Sanidine was anywhere near these ruins, they were experiencing a slow, painful death in the arms of their best friend, pinned to the inside of the planet's crust by a piece of shrapnel and Nomai gravity plating. They saw the grandeur of the Hanging City from far above, through fading eyes, and it had been hard at the time to really understand the scope of what they witnessed.

As they and Gabbro gently drop from a vertical set of gravity crystals onto a waiting platform, they’re struck with awe by the city's sheer scale.

The Hanging City is a metropolis of proportions unthinkable to the Hearthians. Nearly all of the ice cap has been completely hollowed out to make room, a city that puts Timber Hearth’s crater to shame. The staggering size and complexity are enough that, for several minutes, the two astronauts simply stand still and take it all in.

“Stars above.” Sanidine finally mumbles, leaning into Gabbro for a moment to steady themself.

“This is.” Gabbro breathes deep. Exhales slow. “Huh. I don’t think I was ready for something this big.”

Sanidine squeezes Gabbro’s hand. “I don’t think we could’ve been ready. Look at all of this. Where do we even start?”

“You’re the researcher. Pick a spot, right?” Gabbro shrugs a little. “I know that’s not helpful, but look at it this way. We’ve got all the time we could ever ask for. We won’t miss anything.”

Sanidine swallows, trying to quiet their nerves. This is an impossibly important discovery, the latest in a string that only they and Gabbro can share until they find their way back out of the loops. Something about that sends pinpricks of excitement through them, a slightly guilty kind of excitement, like a hatchling let in on a secret by an adult.

This is theirs. Until they free themselves, if they ever can, the Hanging City- the solar system- is theirs. Gabbro is right. They seem to have all of the time in the universe, in an alarmingly literal sense. Trapped in this eternity,  the pair can spend as long as they need to learn, to explore, to understand.

All it costs them is everything, every single time they’re pulled back to themselves. An unending march of deaths, inevitably consuming everyone they’ve ever known and then some, that never really happen. Is that worth it, to unfold the history of their enigmatic predecessors? To come to know this city the way they know the crater, to mourn every name on every wall?

They feel a little sick at their excitement, tearing their eyes away from the city to look at Gabbro.

“Is that. Are we.” Sanidine falters for a moment, and Gabbro leans to bonk their helmet gently against the smaller astronaut’s. “Can we do that to everyone?”

“We aren’t the ones doing anything to anyone. The sun’s going to go whatever we do, and we never asked to be the ones remembering.” Gabbro says, and at this angle Sanidine can make out their sad smile. “If we somehow find an off switch for all this in there, then we can talk about things being our choice. And even if we do, we’ll probably regret flipping it if we don’t figure out how to stop the time bomb up there.”

“Mm. I know you’re right, I just.” Sanidine closes their eyes, trying to focus on their thoughts instead of the way their guilt pulls and twists at their stomach. “I want to explore it all. I want to learn everything. Is it wrong to kind of feel excited that we have so much time?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so. I don’t blame you for it, if it helps.” Gabbro takes Sanidine’s other hand. They wish they sounded more sure of themself, in this moment, because they mean every word. They can no more prevent Riebeck or Chert or their home from burning than they can prevent themselves from waking up again.

Trying to shoulder the blame for something that feels so completely, utterly random would break either of them, if they let it. It’s one of the few things they’ve felt sure of the whole time, that they can’t let each other try to feel responsible for their fate. They take a moment, trying to find the right words.

“I think, if anything, I’d call this making the most of a bad situation. I’m a little excited too, you know, and I do blame spending so much time with you for that.” They start, searching for a smile on Sanidine’s face. They might be phrasing things in a teasing way, but the sentiment is nothing but the truth. For someone who had very few opinions about the Nomai prior to all of this, they’ve found themself starting to slowly become invested in the story of these ancient lives, purely by virtue of Sanidine’s moments of enthusiasm.

They get the small smile they wanted, and press forward with the thing they’re far more confident in saying aloud. “Besides, if we’re looking for things to be wondering like this over, I don’t think we would’ve actually tried to get to know each other if it weren’t for all of this.”

“Ouch. Point taken.” Sanidine says, opening their eyes to meet Gabbro’s again. Just the thought of going back to a world where they were simply friendly is enough to make their heart ache. Whatever this is- love, or something they both think might be love- going back to being without it would hurt in a way they can’t quite describe. “How do you always seem to know what to say to me?”

“I don’t. But I’m good at pretending to.” Gabbro lifts their head, letting go of Sanidine’s hands. “You just haven’t noticed the times I make it up.”

Sanidine sighs, looking out at the city again. “Well, I don’t mind if you want to keep fooling me.”

“I’ll do what I can, partner.” Gabbro says, their tired smile playing in their voice.

Partner. Sanidine still likes how it sounds, even more when Gabbro’s saying it so casually, and they smile at the way it makes their heart feel. They turn around, eyes falling on the downward-facing gravity lift built into the left side of the platform’s floor. “Me too. All we can do, I guess. All right, well, I admit it’s kind of tempting to just jetpack off of here and start wherever we land. Buuuut I suppose we should see what kind of greeting the Nomai might’ve put in for someone arriving this way.”

“I could really use a break from falling on Brittle Hollow, anyway.” Gabbro says, following Sanidine to the gravity lift.

“Hey, at least my idea would be a controlled drop. And it wouldn’t even involve the black hole!” Sanidine says, before hopping into the lift. Gabbro’s right behind them.

The lift descends through what feels like multiple floors worth of pale stone, ultimately depositing them gently inside of a long room with neatly arranged benches running its length. Intact windows give them more of the incredible view outside, and Nomai writing glows softly on the glacier-side wall. The room has a single large door that appears to lead onto a bridge, heading toward the circular plaza that's built around the goliath pair of towers at the open end of the city’s glacial housing.

Before Gabbro can say anything, Sanidine is already at the writing, fumbling with the straps that hold the translator in place. They make an aggravated growling noise before they finally manage to free it, and Gabbro gets their hand on the smaller astronaut’s shoulder and squeezes gently.

“Just had to insist on buckles instead of something easier.” Sanidine grumbles, then shakes their head. “Right. I’m okay. Let’s see what we’ve got here.”

Greetings!

No identifier. Interesting. Is this meant to be more of a signboard…?

You have arrived at the Hanging City! Be welcomed in this place, whether you come from the Sunless City, the Deep, or a station further abroad. If you have made the trek from the Old Settlement, please, be seated and recover your strength if you feel the need. When you are ready, all city districts can be accessed from the central towers. In the future, please enter through the Meltwater District tunnel at the northern glacier! It’s much safer.

“Wow.” Sanidine’s eyes widen. “They got visitors. They had this whole place, and there were still more of them somewhere.””

Gabbro smiles at the thought. “More of them than us by far, it sounds like. I suppose that should worry me, but I like the idea of this place full and bustling.”

“Me too.” Sanidine slides the translator away. “I mean, I guess it’s hard to feel too worried about it, considering the. You know. Everything.”

“True. Focus on the situation we're stuck in instead of worrying about new ones, right?” Gabbro shrugs. “Let’s get going. If we’re lucky, we can find this Meltwater District tunnel before we run out of time.”

Sanidine nods, grasping Gabbro’s hand. The pair are off, heading down the bridge.

And immediately stopping short, Sanidine muttering an incoherent curse as Gabbro shifts to support them from behind. Neither of them can tear their eyes away from the first Nomai skeletons they’ve encountered since they started traveling together. Two of them. A child and an adult, sitting on the edge of the bridge, locked in a moment of embrace, still wearing tattered clothes.

Sanidine lurches. Gabbro holds tight. Their tanks are staying filled, and so the taller astronaut takes a chance, unclasping their partner’s helmet seal and yanking it off. Cool, damp, breathable air floods Sanidine’s face, but it isn’t enough. They twist to one side, Gabbro letting them drop to their hands and knees, and empty the contents of their stomach over the edge of the bridge.

Gabbro’s still holding them, arms wrapped around their waist, and Sanidine can hear barely audible reassurances at the edge of their awareness. Their head is swimming. They’d seen dead Nomai before, the skeleton in the museum- which they’d had issues with, mind you- and photos brought back from surface level settlements. But this feels like a sick joke, like someone posed the bones in just the right way to shock them both to their cores. They swallow repeatedly, trying to keep from heaving again. “What the fuck.”

Stars and Hearth, Gabbro has never heard Sanidine swear like that. They want to unlatch Sanidine’s pack and rub their back more fully, but they can’t- not here, not at the risk of sending either the astronaut or their jetpack to an icy fate below. The young astronaut isn’t ready for this at all, not that Gabbro feels particularly steady either. Their arms are shaking, their breathing shallow, and they know Sanidine can tell, and it makes it so much harder not to cave in to the despair and revulsion that surge through them as well.

“I don’t know.” Gabbro says, and they’re so rattled their voice is shaking, too. “They. They must’ve, I don’t know. Void take me, I’ve seen a handful of their skeletons before, but they were always, you know-”

“Adults. Dead on the ground.” Sanidine mumbles, closing their eyes and trying to breathe the way Gabbro had taught them. Deep inhale. Hold. Long exhale. They want to get it together so badly, they know their partner needs them too. They wipe their mouth on the back of their suit sleeve, then rock back onto their knees slowly. Breathe in. Breathe out. “Not this.”

“Not this.” Gabbro manages, weakly, and now Sanidine’s got them, removing their helmet while Gabbro’s hands are clenched tight against the tile.  The idea of these two having simply stopped this way is bringing them right back to Timber Hearth, and it’s all too easy to imagine Slate with Mica in the exact same pose as the supernova consumes them, and they're burning together, dying in brief but all too real agony, like Sanidine and Gabbro did on the beach that second loop-

Then there’s a gentle impact on their forehead, and Sanidine has theirs pressed against Gabbro’s, one hand pressed just underneath their partner's left ear. “Focus. Look at my eyes. Look. I’m right here, we’re right here.”

“Sani?” Gabbro wheezes, trying to slow their breaths, to stop themself from hyperventilating. Their eyes stare unfocused through Sanidine, seeing only flames.

“Yeah. I’m here. We’re here.” Sanidine mumbles. They want to curl into a ball and cry for a loop, but they’re not about to let themself crumble while Gabbro still needs them. They already know what Gabbro saw in their mind, in vague terms, because they’re barely keeping themself from falling into a similar hole. “Talk to me, partner. I’m not letting go. Focus on my voice, on the cold. Come on.”

“Slate.” Gabbro hisses. “Mica. The fire.”

That makes a terrible amount of sense. Sanidine plants their other hand on Gabbro’s head as well, staring dead into their eyes. “Look at me, Gabbro. Please. I’m here, I love you, you can do this.”

Slowly, agonizingly slowly, their partner’s pupils find theirs. Gabbro’s breathing starts to gradually even out, and the pair stay locked that way for several minutes, even as Hollow’s Lantern makes itself known in the distance. Icy tears run down their cheeks, but neither of them cares.

“Sanidine.” Gabbro finally manages, weakly. Then they fall into their partner’s arms, face pressed against Sanidine’s shoulder, and the pair embrace. “I. I’m here again. That was a bad one.”

“Yeah.” Sanidine mumbles, holding Gabbro as tight as they can. “I know. I can tell. Hold on to me, I won’t let you go.”

“I know. I love you.” Gabbro whispers.

“I love you, too. Just breathe, Gabbro. We’re both gonna be okay.” Sanidine swallows, wishing their stomach could get the message. Somewhere in the distance, as they hold each other in the ruined city, another piece of Brittle Hollow collapses. Not long now.

“Whether we like it or not.” Gabbro mutters.

Sanidine squeezes them in response. “We’ll try the other way in. Next time. We’ll try to get used to this enough to keep moving.”

Gabbro tenses. “Get used to seeing the dead?”

“I think we have to. We don’t have to disrespect them, but. We’re gonna have to learn to coexist with them.” Sanidine closes their eyes for a moment, bringing their hand up to the back of Gabbro’s head gently. “I don’t like it either. Never thought I’d even come close to saying I thought I could get used to seeing bones and bodies.”

“Mmh. Not looking forward to that.” Gabbro presses their face a little harder against Sanidine’s shoulder. “Your stomach okay?”

“Nope. Gonna die nauseous.” Sanidine says, trying and failing to sound lighthearted. “New experience for me.”

Gabbro groans. “I’ll pass on the details.”

“Smart.”

They sit quietly again, listening to the echo of another impact, far away.

“Thanks for getting my helmet off.” Sanidine finally says, swallowing again. Please. They don’t want to feel this sick while death approaches, but here they are.

Gabbro snorts. “Anytime, love.”

“Mm. You’re lucky I kept it together enough not to try to kiss you.” Sanidine smirks. It’s true- they had, briefly, considered doing it just to bring Gabbro back to the moment. Then they’d remembered what they’d just done.

Gabbro makes an uncomfortable noise. “Thank you for that, Sani.”

“Doing my best, love.”

More quiet. Sanidine lets out a whine as their stomach decides to cramp instead, and Gabbro shifts a little to let them curl inward. Sharing shoulders with each other. They look like they’re a pair of worn-down hatchlings. They feel closer to the city’s long-gone inhabitants, in that moment, than they ever would have before.

Finally, the light filtering in from the gaps in Brittle Hollow’s crust fades, and Sanidine closes their eyes. “See you soon.”

“Mhm. I’ll be waiting, every time.” Gabbro says. The bones they’re sharing this portion of bridge with collapse as the shockwave hits, and both Hearthians flinch into each other, a pang of mourning sending a shiver through their souls. Would it be too much to ask for the supernova to leave them with just one thing-

It’s too bright. It’s too hot. It hurts too much, but they refuse to let go until there’s nothing left of them to hold on with.
The universe ends.

Chapter Text

Sanidine awakens under the Timber Hearth sky, and they rub their face for a moment. Going out in Gabbro's arms isn't the worst way to end things, but more than anything it highlights the sudden loneliness of waking up in this sleeping bag with only Slate for immediate company. Not that Slate’s bad company, necessarily, but they sure as hell aren’t Gabbro. They aren’t even Gossan. Even before the time loops, there were secrets they could never share with Slate, would never share with Slate.

Maybe, one of these loops, they’ll share some of them and see what would happen. It might feel better to talk things out without the risk of permanently ruining a relationship, and the worst Slate’s likely to do to them if they overstep is yell. Briefly, they wonder if they should try again with their question from the previous loop, phrase things differently.

They feel an icy stab of guilt at the thought. Slate is still Slate. What is wrong with them, thinking in terms of ‘trying again’ like Slate’s emotions are somehow in the same ephemeral realm as another death at the hands of some hazard? They shake their head, trying to focus on getting up instead.

“There’s our-” Slate starts, but Sanidine is already on the elevator, and off they go. They don’t want to think about Slate anymore. They want to get to their ship. Even those thirty seconds spent laying there thinking feel like too long for them, at the moment. They ache to get their head clear again, and there’s only one person in the entire universe who can do that for them.

Gabbro’s voice- even as muted as it is by the cyclone they’re being thrown about by when Sanidine turns on the radio- is as warm and soothing as ever, a drug they had already been in withdrawal from.

Before they’re even truly away from Timber Hearth’s gravity well, they’ve got the scarf on again, chatting with Gabbro about the plan for the Northern Glacier. They eat.

They hold their instrument in their hands, as the ship crosses the empty, and close their eyes, trying to memorize how it feels. How it’s not familiar. How much it’s theirs, not Feldspar’s. The engraved curl of the Nomai script. The warmth of the wood, the solid metal. That odd little button.

Theirs. They listen to Gabbro humming the Travelers’ Song while preparing, lifting the little clip-on pouch out of the box. They reach into the bag and pull out the final item it contains, one that they only noticed when they were retrieving their scarf this loop.

It’s a heavy piece of metal. A slot-in interface, a custom design just for their helmet, the same type as those used by Gabbro and formerly by Feldspar. A customized unit that translates their attempts to play with the helmet on into air entering the instrument, then digitizes the sound and transmits it. It’s a bit beyond Sanidine, honestly. They’re just impressed that it actually works.

It’s easy to pull the helmet’s normal guard out, to replace it with the mouthpiece. The design of their helmet is modular enough, and the process takes all of a few seconds. Sanidine marvels at how simple it is! But with Gneiss and Slate working together on making sure it’s possible for new astronauts to use any instrument of their choosing, perhaps they shouldn’t be so surprised.

With the modification made, they lean back against the wall where their suit hangs. “Hey Gabbro. Don’t make fun of me.”

“Hm? Why? What’re you up to? I swear if you say you asked Slate another void-brain question about love this loop I can’t be held to any promises of holding back.” Gabbro says, but Sanidine can hear the concern under their words.

“No, nothing like that.” Sanidine says. Before Gabbro can answer, they lift the harmonica to their lips and blow.

Even as awkward and halting as their attempt is, the harmonica itself picks up their slack. The note is a little flat, but the sound is still rich, a stronger and sharper tone than Feldspar’s harmonica used to produce. They tense, waiting for Gabbro’s response with their fingers gripping the instrument tightly enough their knuckles are turning slightly ashen.

“Huh.” Gabbro says, and it’s quieter than Sanidine expects it to be. They wonder if the older astronaut also felt the bite of painful nostalgia in their heart. The sound is different, but not different enough to avoid carrying the memory of campfire songs played by someone else in it.

“I- I’m sorry, if that hurt. I don’t know what I’m thinking.” Sanidine says, the icy chill of awareness washing over them. What were they just doing? Interrupting Gabbro from halfway between planets to blare a flat note at them with an instrument they both know will cause them pain? Stars, this was stupid, why-

“No, no.” Gabbro interrupts. “It’s good. Different. Don’t apologize.”

Sanidine squeezes the instrument in their hands. “It’s not different enough.”

“Are you telling me or asking me?”

They aren’t sure. The thoughts swirl, chasing each other in circles. The note had been painful, but in a way that maybe was beautiful in its own right. It isn’t the same noise, but it has the same base. They look down at the harmonica, at its beautiful wood and shining metal, and they try to imagine hearing it produce real music.

“Asking.” They finally say.

“It’s similar. But it’s not theirs.” Gabbro replies, simply. “It’s yours. That’s what I hear.”

Sanidine sighs. “Thanks, Gabbro. I needed to hear that.”

Gabbro grunts, and Sanidine hears jetpack thrust. Even a regular jump or climb on Giant’s Deep requires some extra effort. “Sure thing. What do you think of it?”

“I want it to be mine.” Sanidine admits, staring at the harmonica again. “I want it to be mine so much that nobody could ever mistake it for theirs. Ever. I want to make music with you, and I want it to be so much ours that anyone will know it from the first note.”

“Then I’ll try to help you learn.” Gabbro says. “And if we run into any trouble, I’ll help you talk to someone about it.”

“Let’s hope that isn’t something we have to do anytime soon.” Sanidine leans back against the wall to experiment with the instrument some more, waiting to be reunited with their other half.

The voyage is otherwise largely uneventful. Giant’s Deep allows Gabbro to leave without issue, and they spend the flight to Brittle Hollow going over what they know about the Hanging City from their observations, practicing breathing exercises, studying the Nomai script they’ve encountered so far and working on picking out the specifics. The process of teaching themselves the words is bound to be slow, but then, they’ve been given all the time they could ever ask for and then some.

And, of course, the pair spend some time simply being. Without Gabbro, Sanidine knows they would be in too much of a panicked frenzy to take time to simply exist. Without Sanidine, Gabbro would be incapable of doing anything but. They end the flight in each other’s arms, Sanidine’s head against Gabbro’s chest, Gabbro’s back against the wall beside the computer, making the most of the small cabin.

The retrorocket alarm comes all too soon.

Brittle Hollow’s northern ice cap is an odd beast, split in half by a meandering meltwater river that never quite seems to run dry. Unlike the rest of the planet, the north pole is isolated from Hollow’s Lantern and its bombardment, and that isolation keeps ash from contaminating the flow. Nomai ruins are perched atop each half of the glacier, barely intact enough to be recognizable as anything more than rubble.

Sanidine guides the ship to a spot near the edge of the ice cap. It skids slightly on the ice before the landing gear’s stakes engage, and Gabbro grips the seat behind them, subconsciously preparing to shield Sanidine if the cockpit impacts something.

Once it becomes clear that the ship has, in fact, stopped, they both start breathing again.

“I don’t suppose,” Gabbro says, while Sanidine is suiting up, “That you would be able to steal some of the Keepers’ cold weather gear, if we’re going to make a habit of this?”

“If I have to.” Sanidine says, pulling on their helmet and locking it into place. They grab their scarf and start to put it on. “I don’t think Tektite’s in the village, and Marl’s not likely to care if I swipe some cleats or something from their equipment shed. But I’d rather not deal with getting the stuff past Slate if we can manage without it.”

“Hm. Fair enough.” Gabbro shrugs, bending down to open the hatch. “Don’t blame me if we wind up sliding into each other again, though.”

“Oh nooo, whatever will I do if I wind up with you close to me?” Sanidine rolls their lower eyes, hopping into the gravity lift.

“Be that way, then. Brat.” Gabbro smirks, following them out onto the ice.

Brittle Hollow is a cold enough place on its own, but the ice cap is its own beast. The EVA suits may be able to keep them protected, but the chill is undeniable, somehow sinking in faster than the void’s lack of heat outside the White Hole Station had. Their breath fogs their helmet visors, and Sanidine frowns.

“Gabbro, it wasn’t this cold in the city, right?”

Gabbro shakes their head. “Not even close. Guessing that’s more Nomai tech at work.”

Sanidine looks at them, then offers them their hand. “Must be. I don’t think it was even this cold on the way there.”

“We can talk about how they did it later. Let’s get back in there first.” Gabbro says, taking Sanidine’s hand and holding tight.

“Right. They said something about a tunnel.”

The pair are in luck. The tunnel isn’t far, once they identify the direction the meltwater is flowing. Its entrance is lit by a pair of Nomai lamps, though they certainly weren’t visible from the air. Sanidine wonders if there were more signs pointing to it when the city was in its prime.

They manage not to slip this time. The tunnel branches away from the flow of water and onto regular tile flooring, the water traveling into a smaller hole and presumably onward.

The tile leads them to a shut door, and after a quick unspoken conversation held mostly through glances, they step back from it. There may be no real risk that it leads to the black hole, given where they are, but the memory of Gabbro’s fall is still raw in Sanidine’s mind. Accordingly, with Sanidine’s thoughts elsewhere, Gabbro’s the one who triggers the lock.

This door slides open with a quiet grinding noise, stone-on-stone echoing softly in the abandoned tunnel.

Inside is another welcome station, much like the one they arrived at from the Old Settlement path. This one has two skeletons seated on one of its benches, and the pair freeze up as soon as they notice.

“You know the worst part?” Gabbro says, quietly, neither Hearthian able to tear their eyes away. The two Nomai skeletons look like they were discussing something when everything simply ended, and time has done nothing to break the obvious companionship they had.

“Can think of a few worst parts.” Sanidine says. Their grip on Gabbro’s hand is tight, despite the way their hand shakes.

“It’s the way they look so.” Gabbro hesitates. “Alive. Like they weren’t afraid, or in pain. And something just turned them off, like a light.”

Sanidine leans into Gabbro’s side. They wish they weren’t getting used to that tone in Gabbro’s voice, the quiet hurt that never quite seemed to go away. They’re sure they sound no different, and they wrestle down the urge to be apologetic over it. No need to worry Gabbro even more by giving in to their worse impulses.

“I know.” They swallow. “I suppose it’s nice to think that whatever happened didn’t frighten or hurt them, but if that’s the case, what could’ve done this?”

“I don’t know.” Gabbro sighs. “I don’t know if I want to, either.”

“You know what I think the worst part might be?” Sanidine offers, pulling Gabbro toward the walkway door. “It’s that they’re left like this and we can’t fix it. Even if we learn how the Nomai treated their dead, even if we spent every loop just trying, we-”

They stop to swallow the lump in their throat. Their voice is shaky. Gabbro squeezes their hand reassuringly.

“We’ll never know who most of them were. And then the loop will just put them back, like it’s some void-damned exhibit in the museum, and it’s. It’s not fair.”

“No.” Gabbro agrees, quiet and somber. It makes sense that Sanidine sees things this way, even if they weren’t quite ready to hear it said aloud. “It isn’t fair at all.”

As they emerge onto the bridge, both astronauts stop to remove their helmets again, hooking them onto their packs. The air here is refreshingly cool, no worse than a brisk winter’s day back home. It doesn’t carry the weight of the death around it. It’s downright clean.

They make sure to loop their earpiece radios on before they peer out over the edge of the bridge again.

The Hanging City is just as breathtaking from this side. The Hearthians admire it as they walk, trying not to think about how many bodies must lay below them, how many lost lives they’re about to intrude on.

Even with the dread and guilt tugging at the edges of their mind, Sanidine can’t resist the thrill that shoots up their spine as they walk. The city is a treasure trove of information, the once-beating heart of their predecessors' time on this world. Even if the Nomai came from elsewhere, they once lived in these very buildings, walked these very streets. Loved each other, raised new generations, grew old here. Stories upon stories that have gone unheard for longer than the Hearthians have even known the Nomai once lived, waiting for discovery like gems in a mine. Precious glimpses of their culture, their names, their lives. Technology to dazzle those who have come after.

It’s all theirs to discover. All theirs to know, to remember, so that when they break free of the time loop they can make sure others will know them too. Sanidine shoves down the guilt of having a chance Riebeck and Hal would’ve killed for. To be here with Gabbro, to own this moment… surely, after everything they’ve lost to the time loops already, they’re allowed to appreciate this gift.

Surely they’re allowed to, maybe selfishly, pretend they can ever be that starry-eyed hatchling again staring at the Attlerock script-wall piece Feldspar had brought home, talking to Hal and Riebeck in hushed tones, encouraging them both to help work on a device to help understand who these ancients had been.

Surely, they want to believe, they’re allowed to share that with the other half of their soul. They look up at Gabbro, and Gabbro’s got a quiet, sad smile on their face, and it mirrors their own perfectly.

They don’t even have to speak to each other sometimes, now, to know the other person’s heart. This is theirs, something precious the time loop is giving to them in exchange for what it's taken, and nobody else’s. A world all their own, for as long as they want, shared only with the ghosts of its prior owners.

They both keep walking, with a rare spark of life in their chests again, even surrounded by so much death. The massive central transit area awaits.

Chapter Text

The Hanging City is a vertical thing, first and foremost.

Its districts sprawl and cross over and run the length and width of the ice cap, but by far, the most important thing to understand about the Hanging City is that you cannot traverse it horizontally for long. It demands verticality in the same way Timber Hearth’s crater village does, but it does so inverted, with audacious spires dangling just over a black hole of all things, challenging the laws of physics themselves and winning every time.

This is becoming all too clear to Sanidine and Gabbro as they reach the goliath center of the transit hub. Each wall of the two columns spans wider than the bridge they walked to arrive, and their strides falter as the sheer number of dead here come into focus. Sanidine doesn’t care to count the dozens of skeletons, adult and child alike. The platform here was busy in its day, host to a bustling crowd. Benches are dotted with what’s left of bodies in various forms of relaxation, tables host remains caught in the middle of eating some long-gone food from painted clay bowls. On the ground near a now-empty planter, one Nomai died holding another’s head gently, bent forward in what must have been a kiss.

The Hearthians both avert their eyes toward the towers. Sanidine leans into Gabbro and wraps their arm around the taller astronaut’s waist, trying to steady their breathing in time with Gabbro’s own attempts.

Breathe in. Focus on Gabbro. Feel the way Gabbro’s eyes lock on yours. Feel Gabbro’s arm around you. Breathe out.

“It’s. So many more than I thought.” Sanidine says, finally, once their hearts are no longer pounding.

“I suppose it might be wishful thinking,” Gabbro glances at the nearest skeleton, “But if I were in their position, I don’t think I’d mind sharing my city. Especially not with people who wanted to know it like I did.”

“I hope you’re right.” Sanidine smiles faintly, as Gabbro’s eyes return to meet theirs. “I hope the Nomai were the kind of people who would feel that way.”

Gabbro presses their forehead to Sanidine’s, squeezing them gently. “Me too. Ready to go?”

“I think so. Yeah.” Sanidine waits for Gabbro to lean back, then turns their attention to the large sign beside the massive gravity-wall highway they’ve found themselves in front of, working on unholstering the translator.

Current Level: 2. Transit Hub Overlook, Glacier Arrivals/Departures.
Level 0: Black Hole Forge District, Warp Travel Arrivals/Departures
Level 1: Eye Shrine District
Level 2: Transit Hub Overlook, Glacier Arrivals/Departures
Level 3: Meltwater District, Bridge Access
Level 4: Agricultural District
Level 5: Residential District
Level 6: School District
Level 7: Craftwork District
Level 8: Engineering District
Level 9: City Maintenance District
Level 10: Black Hole Overlook
Current expected transit delays: ERROR.

Sanidine glances at Gabbro, letting them read. They look just as overwhelmed as Sanidine feels, and the smaller astronaut bumps their shoulder against their partner gently. “Eleven districts. Plenty of time, right?”

“I’ll let you know when I stop forgetting it, if you do the same for me.” Gabbro says, with a tired smile. “Where to?”

“Start at the top?” Sanidine pockets the translator again, fastening it as securely as they can before grasping Gabbro’s hand.

“Good enough for me.” Gabbro agrees, and the pair step onto the gravity paneling running up the side of the tower.

They almost immediately regret it, though it’s a brief regret, upon seeing the uncountable skeletons held fast to both sets of paneling. Travelers, no doubt, making their daily voyages through their home when the end came. The Hearthians squeeze each other’s hands.

There’s one other issue that they immediately notice, and neither one wants to mention it yet. The tower has collapsed partially, one of its walls completely caving in and becoming wedged in place. There’s no way they can easily move the rubble out of the way in the space of a single loop, not without risking destroying the entire structure. On this side, at least, the topmost level is blocked.

They don’t stop walking. There’s another exit before they reach that level, and turning around means having to deal with the view of entirely too many dead Nomai below them, if there are this many on the way up. As much as they’re trying to accept the fact of the death that surrounds them, less than a day is hardly long enough to change things beyond not simply buckling under the weight of an entire city’s worth of grief.

They exit at the Eye Shrine level, careful not to disturb the Nomai that had been mid-disembarkation when they passed.

The Shrine level is less populated- as odd as the word feels- than the one below. Suspended above the web of walkways and gravity lifts that makes up most of the city, this level consists of a broad path leading to a single building. Writing-walls line the edges of the walkway and run along the center, a few having a skeletal Nomai still holding a staff to them, their last words left unfinished by the cruelty of fate. After a quick check in the other tower, which is also completely blocked by rubble above, they turn to the walkway and start into the midst of the messages.

Sanidine reads them. Every single one, every word, with Gabbro by their side. Easily over a hundred messages offering good wishes and encouragement for those involved in the project to seek the Eye, each name and message a glimpse of someone that once lived. Some of them are written in the clumsy script of a child, some in the tight patterns of an adult, but all of them offer love and hope. It reminds both of them of the stack of letters they each received on the day before their launch; We love you. We’re with you, always. We know you will succeed, and we will celebrate your future victories with you.

By the halfway point, they’re both crying. The revelation of the staff being involved in writing is buried under the weight of all of these dreams, and they have to stop to hold each other up every few translations, neither sure what to say.

An impassible gulf separates the Nomai from the Hearthians. And yet, as they read these messages, the two astronauts can think nothing but how familiar they feel, how alike they were.

The Eye Shrine itself has benches outside of it, and one of them is blessedly clear of remains. The two Hearthians sit down to recover, looking back at the bridge quietly.

In the end, it’s Gabbro that finally speaks first.

“I remember reading about how, when we first started to find ruins, we thought they must’ve been truly alien.” They say, quietly, looking away from Sanidine to the remains opposite the open doorway from them. “Given how obvious it was that they were highly advanced, they must’ve thought in ways totally different to us. Those first researchers wondered if we’d ever be able to understand them. That was before we ever had a space program, or anyone was even thinking about one. I don’t think Esker had even hatched yet.”

They take a deep breath, their heart heavy. “I never liked the idea, obviously. You know me, if they existed, surely they had some love for art, music, poetry, something. The things everyone has in them. But all we ever saw was pottery, and that was nice, but it all felt really functional. That’s why I got interested in the statues, when I saw them, even though the Nomai were never that interesting to me otherwise. It felt like proof that they were more than just skeletons who had technology we didn’t understand. Even then, even after the Old Settlement, I wasn’t ready for…”

They trail off, eyes dropping to Sanidine again. For them to have been so similar. For them to have been people, with their own hopes and dreams, their families and friends and heroes. Their own lives. Gabbro thought they’d understood, on some level, that the Nomai weren’t just concepts from long ago. They thought they’d understood that they felt grief, and loss, and love. But the Nomai felt it so strongly, in so many of the same ways the Hearthians did, that they almost feel ashamed of how dismissive they’d once been.

Sanidine reaches for their hand again, leaning closer. No blame, no anger, not even a trace of upset in their eyes. Gabbro’s heart skips a beat, because they were certain that this admission would bring at least disappointment from their love, and they were ready to accept it. They should’ve known better, but the feeling came from the same part of their mind that’s still in shock over finding someone who loves them this way at all.

“I think I know what you mean.” Sanidine says, and they’re so gentle when they say it. Gabbro almost misses the implication that Sanidine had any of these same doubts, ever. They blink, and Sanidine takes that as an opportunity to continue talking. “I mean, I knew what I wanted them to be, but they’re so much more than that? I guess in my head, I was doing the same awful thing as the museum does, making them a flat image, just going the other way.”

“Hey, I don’t know if that’s true.” Gabbro presses their forehead to Sanidine’s. “Not even Riebeck was asking the questions you were asking, from what I hear. I wasn’t in most of those meet-ups.”

“I don’t blame you. They got, uh, heated sometimes.” Sanidine admits, and their ears pin back. Old shame from old arguments. “I got heated, sometimes.”

“You? Passionate enough about the Nomai to get mad at your friends?” Gabbro smirks. “Unheard of.”

“Shut.” Sanidine says, but they’re smiling. “Anyway, I got kind of overwhelmed, too. I think anyone you brought here would, right, because it’s… it’s one thing to want to know who they were, to think they had to be more complex than we thought. But to see all of this, to know they were just like us in the ways that we didn’t even think about? Nobody can be ready for that, and maybe that’s normal.”

“I guess not.” Gabbro sighs, then reaches up to stroke Sanidine’s cheek softly, tracing the trail of their last few tears. They’ve both managed to stop crying by now, but it’s done little to ease the burden of all of those lives. “I thought I was supposed to be the philosophical one.”

“Maybe you’re rubbing off on me.” Sanidine tilts their head slightly to catch Gabbro’s palm against their cheek, not looking away from their love’s eyes. “It’s a lot of hard thinking, though. I’ll leave it to you instead.”

“Who says I want to have to think hard all the time?” Gabbro mumbles. They definitely don’t want to think too hard about how close their faces are. The way their breath drifts out, mingling into fog. The way that they’re this close, even surrounded by the dead. They don’t want to consider what the Nomai might’ve thought of it when they wrap their other arm around Sanidine.

They aren’t thinking about anything else when their lips finally meet, and neither is Sanidine, the two pressing as close to each other as possible despite their suits.

Once upon a time, Sanidine read a book Hornfels had donated to the library after sneaking into a section they were too young to enter normally. They’d holed up underneath a table and pored over every page. The steamier bits were beyond them then, but they’d been more confused than anything by the kissing. They couldn’t understand the point of such flowery descriptions, the idea that such a simple thing could have such an effect on the people doing it.

The way that they feel, in that moment, erases all of their confusion as effectively as the supernova. Oh. They feel electrified, warm, alive in a way they haven’t since the loops began. The weight of the ruins falls away and all that’s left is the moment, the way the two of them are locked together, safe and loved and not alone, despite all of the scars they’ve already accumulated. They press in further, and are rewarded by Gabbro placing their other hand on their cheek, guiding them instead of deterring them.

And Gabbro wishes only that they could somehow be closer yet. That they weren’t inevitably going to be forced to pull apart to breathe, that this moment of being so connected that even the death of their sun didn’t matter anymore could last forever. They’ve never wanted this, not from anyone before, not once in their life. And now they can’t imagine ever having enough of it from Sanidine, and that should be strange, and it isn’t, it’s the most natural feeling in the world in that moment.

They finally pull apart by inches, wide eyes locked on each other’s. Sanidine’s pale yellow and Gabbro’s gentle pink. They’re both breathing hard, trying to make up for how their hearts are pounding, and there’s a moment where they simply let that electric tingle linger on their lips before they can think clearly enough to do anything else.

“We. That was. I.” Sanidine stammers breathlessly, hands coming up to Gabbro’s head in a shaky mirror of Gabbro’s own loose hold.

“Yeah.” Gabbro whispers, barely able to hear their partner’s words over the way their heart hammers in their ears.

The way they fall back into another kiss is mutual, but no less hungry. Gabbro wishes Sanidine’s lips didn’t taste like that awful medicine, that their hands didn’t shake so badly against their cheeks. The only thing they can think to describe what’s left of the flavor on Sanidine’s skin is that they think it’s what stars must taste like, what they might taste if the supernova didn’t blind every sense with pain so quickly. Or perhaps that’s just the feeling their heart sings with, the feeling in their soul, as though kissing Sanidine is kissing the cosmos itself. They want to let that feeling burn them alive, let it consume every part of them. They want to let Sanidine's fire catch on them like they're kindling, set them ablaze from within that they might never know what it's like for their soul to be extinguished again.

Sanidine knows for a fact that, underneath the vague salt left by Giant’s Deep, the way that Gabbro feels against their lips must be the way it would feel to kiss the black hole. There’s an irresistible gravity to them, a depth that they want so badly to let pull them under forever, a stillness that they want to wrap around themself like bedsheets. They want to bury themself in the weight of who Gabbro is and never have to know what it feels like not to be covered by it again. In that moment, if they could, they would pour their entire soul into Gabbro’s care through their kiss and never for a moment regret surrendering it. Their blood burns, their spirit aches, to be as irrevocably tied to Gabbro as the Hourglass Twins and share the everything that they’re made of as though it’s as natural as the sand.

When they finally come back up for air, they’re both too overwhelmed to speak. Slowly, both astronauts lower their hands, unable to look away from each other’s eyes even when a meteor impact shakes the crust not that far away.

They embrace, and they breathe together, and their heads slowly stop spinning, the cold slowly sinking back into their scales.

“I love you.” Sanidine mumbles, and if they had been hesitating to say it with all of their being before they don’t think they ever will again.

“I love you, too.” Gabbro responds, just above a whisper.

For a moment, in a tiny corner of the Hanging City, the warmth of love burns bright between the last two real people in the universe, and the ruins feel a little bit alive again.

Chapter Text

Gabbro and Sanidine understand one thing instantly, as soon as they’re about themselves enough to enter the building: The Eye Shrine is something there’s no Hearthian comparison for. No Hearthian from the crater has ever had an organized faith, just scattered beliefs in nebulous forces and a vague notion of an afterlife in a quiet pine glade. Admittedly, some of these beliefs are more popular outside of the home of the Venture, but even then none has ever become close to the reverence the Nomai held for the Eye. They have no need for the concept of a cathedral, and the word would have no meaning. And yet 'cathedral' is the only word that can possibly capture the Eye Shrine’s appearance, with its mural-painted walls covered in renditions of the Eye and its rows of seats. Every line and every angle draws the viewer’s attention toward the metal sculpture of the eye symbol, suspended in a circular window near the ceiling, taller than even the tallest of the Hearthians and backed by a clear view of the sky.

The effect is somewhat spoiled by the recent lack of stars in that particular patch of black, but the intent is appreciated by both travelers nonetheless.

For once, the sight of Nomai writing doesn’t bring Sanidine flying from Gabbro’s side. Something about the building makes them feel like their usual running would simply be wrong, and even if that weren’t the case, they aren’t yet ready to fully separate from their partner following what just happened outside. They aren’t ready to talk about it yet, but for once, it’s simply because they aren’t used to feeling so good anymore.

Gabbro isn’t ready either, of course. To put those feelings into words feels hard, for all the poetry they’ve read about love. But they pick up their pace to allow Sanidine a bit of rushing, and Sanidine squeezes around their waist in appreciation.

“I’m starting to like how they greeted people.” Sanidine says, as the pair watch the translator work. “Be welcomed in this place. I think it’s nice.”

“It’s definitely friendly.” Gabbro agrees. “A bit wordier than a Hearthian greeting, but even the Nomai hatchlings seemed to love their words.”

“I will guarantee you they didn’t call them hatchlings.” Sanidine grins. “And if they did, then they’re the first things with fur I ever heard of that lay eggs like we do.”

“And if you have a better word, I’ll try to start using it.” Gabbro grins back. “Until then, they’re hatchlings. Or would you prefer something aggressively scientific? Their young?”

“Oh, that’s- that’s too scientific, yeah.” Sanidine shakes their head, still grinning. “Even Hornfels would think that’s probably going too far.”

“Eugh. Worse than Hornfels?” Gabbro puts on their best aghast expression.

Sanidine snorts, bumping Gabbro with their shoulder. “Come on, Hornfels isn’t that bad. They just have a scientist-scientist kind of perspective. Like Chert, if Chert wasn’t so focused.”

“At least Chert appreciates other people’s perspectives.” Gabbro says, and they try to keep sounding light. It’s not quite good enough, as though it ever could be around Sanidine anymore.

“This is about the quantum thing, isn’t it?” Sanidine asks, lowering the translator and turning to look Gabbro in the eyes. “I wasn’t there for that, but I remember hearing things, and, uh.”

Gabbro’s grin fades away, and they try to figure out if they have it in them to talk about this right now. Sanidine should probably know about the fissure that opened between them and Hornfels, during their first year of flight. Who knows. Even in a time loop, maybe Sanidine can help them find a way to repair it. But they’ve cried enough today, and the thought threatens the warm glow they’re still suffused in from the kissing they’d shared outside.

“Next loop. Okay?” Gabbro offers.

Sanidine’s eyes narrow, and Gabbro knows the worries that are no doubt chasing each other around in their head. It’s no secret that the argument Gabbro and Hornfels had was explosive enough that other founders had to get involved.

“Okay.” Sanidine finally says, and Gabbro lets go of a breath they weren’t quite aware they’d been holding. Why had they been so nervous, anyway? Sanidine wouldn’t do that to them. Maybe part of them is still learning to accept that Sanidine listens. “Next loop.”

“Thanks, time buddy. So what else have we got here?”

“Ah, yeah, so if I’m understanding this right!” Sanidine smiles, lifting the translator again. “This is a place for people to come and reflect on the Eye. I kind of wonder if it wasn’t more like your meditation, though, because if you were building a place to discuss something surely you’d lay it out differently.”

“I think that’s not a bad guess. Meditating isn’t just for clearing your mind.” Gabbro says, thoughtfully. “Sometimes, you can clear everything from your mind but a specific topic so you can focus on that and only that. Not something I used to do that often, but I read about it. Supposed to open your mind to new possibilities around whatever it is.”

Sanidine turns about to face Gabbro, and their eyes trace over their love’s face, taking in that permanent exhaustion they’re both so used to. They wish they could shake it from them both, or at least help Gabbro find whatever it is they’ve lost that used to let them supplement their sleep with meditation. They’ve considered trying to just sleep outright at some point, but between the pit in their stomach at the thought of the dreams they might have and the knowledge that their bodies awaken fully rested, they’re certain it’s a bad plan. “Hey. You’re gonna get the hang of it again.”

Gabbro sighs. “I know. All the time in the universe to re-learn. Was trying not to think about it, honestly.”

“Yeah, and you were struggling with it.” Sanidine’s ears fold back. “Don’t pretend you weren’t. You know better than that.”

“I just couldn’t fall in love with someone who’d let me mope about a single thing in peace, could I?” Gabbro asks, but they’re starting to smile a little again, and it makes Sanidine’s soul feel a little lighter. “Alright, partner, fine. No more of that. Now get to translating before we’re waking up again, or you’re going to be a fidgety menace the whole way back.”

“I’m sure you could figure out some way to keep me still.” Sanidine winks with their upper right eye, then focuses the translator on the displays behind Gabbro. “Scoot.”

Gabbro holds up their hands mock-defensively, then steps aside to let Sanidine read.

Theories and thoughts and ruminations and observations. The pair both watch the words appear with rapt attention, watching the spirals of text resolve into spiraling thoughts. The Eye’s signal is a call. The Eye’s signal is an accident. The Eye chose them. The Eye chose nobody. The Eye is incapable of choosing. The Eye is benevolent, the Eye is malevolent, the Eye is nothing and everything.

The Eye is the greatest unknown in the universe. And the Nomai who warped here sacrificed everything to pursue it, their descendants built magnificent cities, impossible structures, warp travel-

-they never found it. They never even learned what it was. Or, if they did, word never reached the keepers of this place.

Sanidine’s mouth feels oddly dry, given the damp air. “That’s impossible.”

Gabbro wraps an arm around their waist, their other hand easing the translator down. Sanidine’s shaking is worse than it should be, at this point in the loop. They’re trembling. Gabbro can see their partner slipping toward the precipice, because after all of that void-damned hope outside even they’d started to believe that the Eye would somehow give them a way out, that surely the Nomai at least understood it and it would at worst be a start, because everything felt like it kept coming back around to the damn thing.

“Breathe. My rhythm.” They whisper, and Sanidine squeezes their eyes shut and nods.

Sanidine finds it so easy now. Easier when Gabbro takes the lead. A deep, slow breath in. Hold it for just long enough. Release it purposefully, let it carry weight off your mind. Repeat until you and your partner are in the moment again, as long as it takes.

It’s not quite meditation, but it’s the best either of them can really manage still, and it works well enough to re-center them if they can catch each other fast enough. They stand there in the shrine and breathe, and it takes a few minutes before Sanidine is able to speak again.

“I’m okay.” They open their eyes, and Gabbro slowly lets them go so they can put the translator away. “I’m okay. Thank you. I probably should’ve known we couldn’t be lucky.”

“Us? Stars, Sani, I’m starting to wonder if we somehow inherited our bad luck from the Nomai.” Gabbro muses. It’s not nearly as much of a joke as it should be. “All of this, all of those messages, and there’s-”

“Nothing.” Sanidine shakes their head, walking over to a bench and sitting down to stare at the window. Gabbro follows, and the pair lean into each other. The sun is coming into view behind the window, that terrible red color painting a gruesome shade across the remains of the shrinegoers. “If they found the Eye, if they even knew what it was, they would’ve written it here immediately, wouldn’t they?”

“Maybe.” Gabbro sighs. It’s a heavy noise. This revelation has neither one of them feeling particularly playful anymore. “I don’t know. We need to look over the logs from Giant’s Deep, because if they really never found it, then why is their cannon firing every time we wake up? That can’t be a coincidence.”

“I hope you’re right.” Sanidine says, glancing at the Nomai skeletons they’re sharing their seat with. Thinking about Giant’s Deep inevitably leads to thoughts of their previous expeditions, and for a moment, they can feel the gaping hole left by their ship, the way it robbed them of their heart and their future in one terrible impact. An awful punctuation mark on the story of the Sanidine and Gabbro that used to exist. Even if they can talk about it, even if they can joke about it, being there again feels like it might simply be too much. They return their focus to Gabbro’s eyes with a shudder. “Not sure I’m ready to go back to exploring the islands yet, though.”

“No.” Gabbro says, quickly. Despite all the ways they’ve died since, the image of Sanidine impaled by the wreckage still represents so much more than just another death. They wonder if that was the moment they both lost any hope of holding onto themselves. “No, I’m definitely not either. Just looking at the ship logs should be enough.”

Sanidine nods once, then leans their head against Gabbro’s shoulder. “We’ll go back. We have to. I just, I don’t know when I’m going to feel ready.”

“Yeah.” Gabbro squeezes Sanidine against them softly. “I know what you mean.”

The sun burns, sick and red and dying. It’s only just starting to reach the center of the window, the pupil of the eye.

“Do you think it hurts?” Sanidine asks, suddenly.

“Hm?”

“The sun. It’s dying, too, just like everyone else, and I never really considered what that means. I spent this whole time hating what it was doing to us, and I know this is a question that’d get me laughed at by anybody else, but you and I have watched it die so much already just like it’s watched us. Do you think it’s in pain?”

Gabbro pulls back to look at their love. Maybe, once upon a time, even they would’ve found such a question a little off the wall. If it’d been asked by certain people they would’ve automatically assumed they were being made fun of. Maybe that’s why they search Sanidine’s eyes, on that old battered reflex, and all they find- as they knew they would- is tired sincerity.

They consider their answer for a moment, looking back at the sun again. Their ears pin back with an awful feeling, a pit in their stomach at the idea that a force of nature might suffer the way they’ve been suffering. “Hearth, I hope not. Whatever’s at the root of all this, I hope that if it does feel, it just feels tired. I’d hate to think pain could exist for something like that.”

“Yeah. I mean. It’s a star, we know, more or less, what it is. But I just had the thought, and, well.” Sanidine shrugs, then takes Gabbro’s hands and stands. “Come on. I keep accidentally doing the hard thinking thing again, and it’s way too late in the loop for that. Let’s see if we can dig up anything else. Get our minds off things in the time we have left. Maybe make plans for next time.”

“Pretty sure our plans are gonna stay the same, unless there’s something real big tucked away in a corner.” Gabbro smiles a little. “Fly back here, keep exploring whatever’s below us.”

“Well, when you put it like that.” Sanidine smiles back, then turns to start peering down each row. “I’m going to keep hoping that this thing with the Eye and the Cannon is pointing to something we don’t understand yet. And given the size of that thing, there’s no way there weren’t people from this place involved. They’re both too big.”

Gabbro wonders. The Hanging City is truly massive, and though the cannon was clearly designed and calibrated by a handful of engineers, its construction must have been a project involving dozens, perhaps hundreds of Nomai. The chances that Brittle Hollow played host to none of them seem extraordinarily small.

There’s hope in this lead yet.

They’re still considering this when Sanidine gasps, and suddenly the smaller Hearthian is rushing- though not running- across the room to its front right corner, deftly avoiding disturbing any of the remains in their path.

Another Nomai recorder. No wonder they were in such in a hurry. The first one of these they found had been an incredible moment, and the tones of the Nomai voices still linger in the back of Gabbro’s head.

“Ready?” Sanidine asks, once Gabbro’s walked over. They’ve prepared the translator tool in their other hand, and as soon as Gabbro nods they hit the playback control.

The voice is new. Rich like the honeyed sap wine Porphy prepares when the beekeepers from the southern settlement come to trade, deep like distant thunder during the summer season.

Cassava’s words echo in the empty cathedral, and both Hearthians listen, enraptured, eyes locked on the translator’s screen.

I imagine I’ve been hard on Poke, again. This in turn means I’ve made things difficult for her sister (Clary).

Cassava’s voice pauses. Sanidine’s mouth moves, trying to pick out the names from that deep baritone.

When Cassava starts to speak again, it’s in a different tone, one that seems almost like they’re smiling. Or whatever passed for smiling for these ancients. If Poke and I are oil and water, Clary is our emulsifier. She certainly makes us a better team than would mixing through shaking (although sometimes I would like to shake Poke!).

Another pause, and now Sanidine is looking at Gabbro briefly, a grin tugging at their face. Their eyes snap back to the translation as Cassava’s voice returns, a bit halting now, in the way Sanidine's own voice gets when they’re trying to work through difficult ideas by talking them out.

Jokes aside, suppose my own fear of never finding the Eye prompted my argument with Poke. That would be immature of me.

I should apologize... At least to Clary, who could then tell Poke.

“Wow.” Sanidine whispers, putting the translator away once again. “Cassava. I’ve seen that name before.”

“I think we saw it in the probe cannon?” Gabbro whispers back. “We’ll check the computer later. I hope I never get tired of hearing those voices, though.”

“Me too. Each one is like an instrument we’ve never seen before.” Sanidine smiles. Their ears fall back when they see the sun through the window, nearly perfectly lined up with the "pupil" of the eye as it begins to collapse. “Time’s up.”

“Huh.” Gabbro steps back to the center aisle, Sanidine by their side.

The brilliant pale blue of the supernova illuminates the eye as though the display were made for this. Its intensity grows, and yet the spires of the design remain visible, defiant against the end. It casts a dramatic shadow over the Hearthians.

The sight is hard to look away from. And yet look away they do, as the shockwave sends the skeletons around them rattling to the ground. Sanidine’s eyes are focused as they grasp Gabbro’s head in both hands, pulling them into another kiss.

Not even the pain of the supernova can separate them, bound together until the particles that used to be bodies are scattered to the void.

The universe ends.

Chapter Text

Sanidine has forgotten how to be scared of just how easy the routine has become.

Wake up. Ignore Slate, because Slate isn’t real until this is over and that makes them hard to talk to (or Sanidine isn’t real and may never be again, and ultimately neither option is appealing). Engage the ship’s engines and launch, contact Gabbro while getting the suit and scarf on, bask in relief at the sound of their voice. Eat something, find something to do on the trip to Giant’s Deep, and wait.

That something will probably, eventually, be harmonica practice. But Gabbro doesn’t actually understand the instrument as well as they’d both hoped, so while they can help Sanidine figure out hand placement once they’re together, explaining how to actually start playing it is a bit beyond their skill level. They’ll need to see someone for help with it.

They aren’t ready to see someone for help with it. They aren’t really ready to see anyone but Gabbro for any reason whatsoever. They occupy themself with the ship’s computer, making some modifications to it that they know will stick, adjusting the control tolerances a bit further. At least it doesn’t feel quite so difficult to control once their tremors kick in anymore. But they can do better.

Last leg of the trip. They start examining their signalscope, tweaking a setting here, poking at the computer there.

In their head, they hear Cassava’s voice speaking words they don’t yet know. If they ever want to know them- and, stars, they want to- they’ll need more time to listen each loop. The translator tool can store the transcript in the computer just fine, but it has no ability to process audio. The signalscope, though, has one of the finest area microphones the Venture has ever fielded.

It’ll work. It has to, they think, because they’ve got plenty of time to figure out how to make it work. Although just replicating the principle behind the translator’s upload seemed to already be a good start, they have to admit.

Gabbro’s already waiting at the beach when the ship touches down. They swing aboard without waiting for Sanidine to kill the engines, and are rewarded with an annoyed grunt.

“If you get cooked by my ship because you won’t give me room to land, I’m going to be so, so mad at you.” Sanidine grumbles, accelerating back away from the island.

“Good thing I fell in love with such a careful pilot.” Gabbro responds, holding up the familiar mug. “Take your medicine.”

“Ugh.”

The pair spend the trip to Brittle Hollow poring over the computer. They trace names, terms, concepts. If the Nomai ever learned more about the Eye of the Universe, they didn’t store that information in the Eye Shrine. They built the Orbital Probe Cannon, a megastructure in orbit of the most massive planet in the system, then allowed it to break apart upon firing. And somehow, that coincides with the start of each time loop. Sanidine is convinced that part is significant.

The loop begins, and upon firing, the Cannon loses the module assigned to tracking its probe. It disappears, but if they assume the liquid-metal pool is a live view instead of a recording of some kind, it doesn’t get destroyed completely.

Gabbro squints at their notes on the screen. “I meant to bring this up sooner, but I think I might have an inkling where that thing was showing us.”

“A lot happened since then.” Sanidine shrugs, tugging at their scarf gently.

“A lot.” Gabbro repeats, then shakes their head. “Anyway, it’s just a guess. But if you get down near the current, you can just barely see lightning like that inside Giant’s Deep.”

Sanidine’s ears twitch. “Inside?”

Gabbro nods. “Bear with me. I think it’s the core of the planet. But I couldn’t see it too well, and even with all that time I spent there, I never came up with a good idea to get past the current anyway. If the third module landed down there, then time loop or no we’re going to have a hard time reaching it.”

“Hm.” Sanidine’s eyes fall back to the screen. “Well then, even if it is a recording, there might be something worth seeing down there. Ignoring the whole, nobody else has ever managed it, thing.”

“Exactly. And given how deadly the water can be there, I think nobody else has ever been more equipped to figure out a way than we are.” Gabbro says. They frown. “Not that I’m eager to add ‘drowning’ to the list of new experiences I’ve had since we got into this mess, but I’d rather get it out of the way with the time loop than without.”

Sanidine smiles at that. “Not too excited about the idea either. But at least, if it happens, we’re not having to deal with it alone.”

Gabbro smiles back, leaning forward to wrap their arms around the smaller astronaut. “At this point, I think that’d be the thing I couldn’t take.”

“Me too.” Sanidine leans into Gabbro’s hold with a content sigh. “So, we have some leads.”

“We do.”

“And a whole city to explore.”

“Enough to keep us busy for a good while.”

“And each other.” Sanidine looks up at Gabbro.

“Most important part.” Gabbro replies, smiling as their eyes meet.

“I didn’t want to bring it up back there,” Sanidine says, reaching up to put their hand against Gabbro’s cheek. “But, uh. Thank you, for- I mean, the kissing was, a lot. In a good way? My first, uh, I’ve never-”

Gabbro interrupts by pressing their lips to Sanidine’s again, and they both melt into the contact, leaning on the computer itself for support. It’s even nicer to do this in the warmth of the ship’s cabin, with how much it’s become a home to them.

When they part again, they both have a giddy smile, like two hatchlings meeting in secret.

“Funny. It was my first too, time buddy.” Gabbro says.

“Hm. You’re just naturally good at it then, I guess.” Sanidine mumbles.

Gabbro leans their forehead into Sanidine’s. “Could say the same thing about you.”

“Lucky for both of us we don’t know enough to say if we’re wrong.” Sanidine grins. “I hope the Nomai don’t mind us being, whatever, time buddies, in their city.”

“I think, after everything we saw last time, we can say they probably wouldn’t.” Gabbro grins back. “As long as we aren’t being idiots.”

Sanidine snorts. “Compared to everything they knew, I’m not sure we aren’t, uh-”

“Okay, disrespectful idiots.” Gabbro chuckles. “We can be idiot, immortal, time buddies. But I think they’d appreciate that we’re there to learn.”

Sanidine leans into Gabbro again, resting their head on their partner’s chest. “Yeah.”

It feels like it takes no time at all for them to be entering the city again.

The Hanging City welcomes them back, unchanging, unchangeable. The chill is almost comforting to return to after the awful heat that has so consistently claimed them. With their helmets off, it’s downright refreshing here. They make their way past familiar bones, quietly heading for the transit hub.

Gabbro feels Sanidine’s step falter as they approach the towers, and they squeeze their partner’s hand. “Sani?”

“Sorry. Just.” Sanidine shakes their head. “Bracing for it. More bodies, and all.”

“I’m not looking forward to it, either.” Gabbro admits. “But. Last time wasn’t as bad.”

“Yeah. I guess it wasn’t.” Sanidine sighs. “This is just likely to be, I dunno. Feels weird to say more populated.”

“Sounds better than denser.” Gabbro mutters. “You need a minute?”

Sanidine considers it, then shakes their head. “Don’t think it’d help. Anticipation and all that.”

“Alright. You lead, I’m right beside you.” Gabbro says, and Sanidine squeezes their hand as they enter the tower.

The height is dizzying, even for trained astronauts. But the gravity plating holds them steady as they walk, and with the uncomfortable net of the time loop behind them, the pair find it alarmingly easy not to care about the potential fall.

They have a different problem. There weren’t too many Nomai between the overlook and the Meltwater District, but they can see just how busy the tower actually was below that, and it’s difficult to look at the sheer number of skeletons down there.

They take the corner into the Meltwater District and step around the side of the tower to recover, leaning against it and each other.

“When we fix this,” Sanidine says, after a long moment, “I’m telling Gossan they should consider some extra training with the gravity walls. Strap one to the launchpad tower and make trainees walk down it.”

“We’d never get new astronauts again.” Gabbro chuckles. “Most people aren’t as confident about that stuff as you were, even before the whole ‘time loop’ thing.”

“Hah.” Sanidine shakes their head. “I just got real used to it from the samples at the museum. Used to sit on the wall when I was working on the translator. Hal and Hornfels hated it, but not enough to get me down.”

“I can imagine the look on their faces.” Gabbro says.

“Yeah. Hey, uh, before we get going. You were going to tell me about this thing between you and Hornfels.” Sanidine watches Gabbro’s face carefully. “Unless you’d rather wait, I mean.”

“I don’t know how much there is to talk about.” Gabbro frowns. “I told them my theory about the rock at the museum and the trees in my grove, that they were quantum. I mean, existing in every state they could, until someone observes them. And there’s been a bunch of studying done on that kind of thing, I know the math and it all makes sense but it's not supposed to work at this size, right? The idea of it working on something that big is just people coming up with concepts. Stuff that shouldn’t work on a rock, or a tree. To be honest, I think Hornfels doesn’t much care for the idea to begin with because they can’t measure it easily.”

Sanidine sighs. “Yeah, that sounds like Hornfels. So what happened?”

“They spent ten minutes just tearing into the idea. Maybe they were having a bad day, I don’t know. I got sick of it.” Gabbro grimaces. “So I started yelling at them.”

Sanidine physically flinches. “You?”

“Yeah. I don’t know what came over me. I hadn’t been that angry since Feldspar.” Gabbro looks down at the ground, unable to meet Sanidine’s eyes. “I said a lot of things I regret. Gossan had to split us up, and after all that I’m surprised they let me fly again, but maybe it was just so the two of us wouldn’t be on the same planet anymore. I dunno.”

Sanidine shakes their head, pulling Gabbro into a tight embrace. “And even if Gossan wants you to, you’d rather be on Giant’s Deep than talk it out. Right?”

“I’d rather be in the Bramble than talk it out.” Gabbro says. They don’t hesitate to return Sanidine’s embrace, but they still can’t quite look them in the eyes. “I’m not proud of it.”

“You know I never have apologized to Riebeck for our last fight?” Sanidine tries to angle their head to catch Gabbro’s eyes. “Only, instead, they were the one who left Timber Hearth. I guess it wasn’t quite as bad as yours, but, well. We’re both pretty bad at this.”

“Kinda wish one of us wasn’t.” Gabbro admits, and they surrender the effort to avoid Sanidine’s eyes.

“You and me both.” Sanidine says, smiling softly. “But, hey, at least we can try to figure it out together.”

“Together’s gotten us this far.” Gabbro sighs, then smiles as well, squeezing Sanidine gently. “Alright. Let’s get back to it. We can deal with all that when it’ll actually last.”

Sanidine nods, then steps back so the pair can survey the area. Leading out away from the city through the one gap the ice cap’s “wall” has left, a pair of bridges suspended from what remains of the crust curve away over the horizon. This early into the loop it’s still quite intact, but from experience both Hearthians are well aware that it won’t stay that way.

The city’s first proper district stretches into the ice cap. Meltwater is first and foremost a utility district, and it shows in the incredible amount of pipework running across it like a lattice. The Nomai skeletons here, those whose outfits haven’t simply deteriorated away, are wearing outfits with much brighter colors even after time has faded their dyes. It reminds Gabbro a little bit of the Tree Keepers’ outfits back home, when they head out into the field to work. Bright colors so that everyone can see you from a distance, because a miscommunication when cutting trees can be fatal.

Nestled up against the ice walls are massive flat cylinders, each pulsing softly around their midsection with the characteristic blue glow of Nomai energy. Gravity lifts run up to a hatch in the side of each one, and the walkways of the district each have a railing-protected platform to board them, complete with a small shed of some kind. The cylinders are hooked into the pipe network, which all connects to a central structure built into the ice cap’s ceiling, running up to a point behind the apparent suspension spot in the Black Hole Forge. It’s also powered on, blue light running down it from the mounting point to its free-hanging base.

There are no more than a handful of proper buildings spaced out throughout the center of the district, but each is a full sized two-story workshop, and many are connected themselves by horizontal lifts. It’s an engineering playground, a wonder of an ancient world.

Theirs to discover again.

“Stars above,” Sanidine breathes. Their grief over the death around them fades, slowly becoming part of the background noise of their mind. Excitement swells within them again, and their hand grasps their jetpack control tight enough that the entire control arm shakes in their grip. Gabbro’s presence is the only thing that keeps them from disappearing in a trail of jetpack exhaust. They look at their love with wide, wondering eyes.

And Gabbro’s grinning, looking right back at them with the same expression. Before, they might’ve thought this was simply the realm of Riebeck or Hal or, yes, Sanidine. The world of the archaeologists and the linguists and the anthropologists. Call them when some art or sculpture showed up that Gabbro should investigate, or when someone wanted to know something about Giant’s Deep and its weather patterns. But now they look out at the Meltwater District and all they feel is the thrill of seeing it with their time buddy.

That thrill is a distinct shiver that runs up both of their spines. Neither of them has it in them to even think about guilt or the anxious pressure of the supernova, in that moment. They gun their jetpacks and launch themselves forward, and it feels as though the Hanging City opens its arms and takes them in, these strange visitors who wish to know it so intimately.

Chapter Text

The exploration of the Meltwater District starts at the center, Sanidine decides, and the pair outright dance between walkways on their way across to it, spinning past each other with big stupid grins on their faces. They haven’t felt like this, either of them, in what feels like months. They burn jetpack fuel to chase each other between pathways, zipping past structures and skeletons alike with almost childish glee.

It’s an absolute kind of freedom that neither of them remembers how to resist, even if they wanted to. Accepting that a fall isn’t the end of them, accepting that in this place, Sanidine can take the lead and pull Gabbro into a breathless twisting jump to clear a gap, soaring over the Hanging City’s magnificence as though they belong in that air.

And maybe, in that moment, suspended in time and assaulted by death from all sides, even Gabbro might decide that they do.

They land at the boarding platform for the central unit side by side, boots kicking up a soft cloud of frost to accompany the wisps of smoke from their jetpacks. And then, from deep inside their chests, they both burst into laughter and embrace. The moisture in the air is even enough to prevent Sanidine’s throat from being damaged, though they aren’t about to bring it up prematurely.

“You!” Sanidine grins wide. “You were amazing! I was sure you were gonna stop me, but, wow! Since when did you know how to use your pack like that?! I know you didn’t learn it on Giant’s Deep!”

“I got pretty good at it when I was dodging the founders to get to my grove and relax, you know?” Gabbro winks an upper eye. “Never anything quite that fast, though. What about you? You pulled some real stunts there!”

“Gossan put me through, I don’t even know, an extra half again the training they gave everyone else.” Sanidine shrugs. “I’m still not sure I appreciate it, but I guess some of it stuck?”

“I guess so.” Gabbro grins. “In Gossan’s defense, if I were the one who had to handle you, I’d be going out of my way to make sure you didn’t manage to get too excited and flatten yourself on a rock too.”

Sanidine sticks out their tongue at Gabbro, then turns to face the gravity lift, producing the translator tool with a flourish. “I’m just glad I can still pull that sort of thing off, even with the medicine.”

“I did notice a few misfires.” Gabbro admits. “You felt like you had control?”

Sanidine shrugs again. “Control enough. I’ll see if it can be adjusted. Something else I can work on while I’m flying to you.”

“Don’t load yourself up with too much.” Gabbro leans to look at the translator’s screen.

Water Processing Access Lift.

Sanidine’s mouth quirks as they pocket the translator again. “Water processing, huh?”

“Makes sense enough. A glacier’s just a bunch of water waiting around in one place.” Gabbro looks up at the cylindrical structure above, its familiar sandy shade trimmed with light blue. “Though, if they were siphoning it, I wonder how they kept it from running out.”

“Me too. Let’s go find out.” Sanidine grins, before dropping backward into the gravity lift and sailing toward the structure above.

Gabbro sighs, smiling, and follows.

Sanidine doesn’t shiver at the tug of a gravity beam anymore. They aren’t sure when that happened- they certainly think they found it a bit tingly, the first time they stepped into the one mounted in their ship. They’re glad they still feel a vague sense of wonder, although the feeling of being pulled along is starting to become more routine the more they experience it.

The landing platform is more or less just a ramp leading up and onto a gravity plating ring, not unlike the White Hole Station’s. Aligned with the ramp is a door, and the pair climb inside, Sanidine already unholstering the translator tool.

The central room is relatively small. One of those odd liquid-metal display pools sits dormant in the center, its track intact but idle. There’s a single scroll wall to their right, flush with the structure beside the door, and to their left there’s another one of those odd shallow pools with two pedestals.

A single Nomai skeleton lays halfway along the track, a control stone for the shallow pool clutched in one hand even now. They also wore the bright colors of the district, and theirs were preserved better than most.

Sanidine turns to the wall immediately, lifting the translator tool and bracing it with their other hand. Gabbro swings around behind them and peers at the screen over their shoulder.

Work Log of Nypa, Head Engineer, Hanging City Water Processing. 

Recent activity at the Black Hole Forge has settled back down, and its cooling requirements are therefore reduced. Setting its water allotment back to normal unless Poke contacts us for more once she returns from the comet.

Agriculture District requirements have gone up by two percent compared to last year, within expected range based on population growth. Planned modifications to the processing unit’s throughput will more than compensate.

Recycling unit 4 reported a clog. Colura was able to clear it without requiring additional aid. I am advising Nepenth to replace the intake filter, again. If he keeps putting it off, I will send him into the pipes to clean them himself next time.

Glacial rejuvenation units continue to operate as expected. Ramie’s improvements to their energy usage have completely reversed the thinning we observed in the glacier’s structure. I will send the High Energy Lab my compliments, and perhaps a bundle of fruit from our first harvest this year.

All systems otherwise operating as expected, nothing else new to report.

Sanidine looks over at the body, then back at Gabbro. “Huh.”

“That definitely explains a lot.” Gabbro says, glancing at the body as well, then sighing. “We’ll try not to break anything while we’re here, Nypa.”

“Yeah.” Sanidine nods. “Alright. You wanna take the ball again?”

“On it.” Gabbro says, walking over to the track. Once Sanidine is in position at the rings, they start moving the ball along.

This one, a diagnostic readout of the water flow, which indicates that even in the absence of the Nomai the machinery keeps running smoothly. This next one a diagram of the water processing unit, showcasing the way it recycles used water and purifies water from the glacier at the same time, drawing only what the city would need to replenish its stores.

The final slot showcases three planets. Brittle Hollow, Giant’s Deep, and Ember Twin rotate in the middle of the room, arranged in a triangle, Brittle Hollow at the top.

No requests for water found from Sunless City. No requests for water found from the Deep.

Last inbound communication received 281,042 years ago.

“Two hundred eighty one thousand-” Sanidine turns, wide eyes meeting Gabbro’s. “I know we had some guesses, but. That’s. Stars above, this equipment is still operating, after all that time?”

“If anything we built lasted that long, I think Slate might take it as a personal insult.” Gabbro's mouth quirks. “That’s incredible. And those names, we’ve seen them before at the welcome plaque, haven’t we?”

“Yeah. Their other settlements, maybe. Giant’s Deep and Ember Twin.” Sanidine says, putting the translator back into its pouch. “I wonder where. Chert never mentioned a Nomai city on Ember Twin, did they?”

“No, it’d be news to me.” Gabbro shrugs. “When I was there, they just kept messing with their scout, trying to get different angles of the planet and then going to have to pick it up. Now that they’ve got that warp retrieval function, I’d be surprised if they ever left their camp.”

Sanidine squints. “Doesn’t Chert call you lazy for staying in your hammock all the time?”

Gabbro smiles tiredly. “Not in those words. Everyone does that, though.”

“Wonder what they’d say if they knew you just jetpacked halfway across a Nomai city with me.” Sanidine grins, a little bitterly. The idea of anyone calling Gabbro lazy now feels like an insult to both of them, and if it happens in front of them, they’re not sure they won’t abuse the time loop to say some things they might otherwise regret. For that, they think, it’d be worth it.

“If half of them didn’t already think I was crazy, that might be what did it.” Gabbro says, rolling their lower eyes. “We done up here?”

“No, I.” Sanidine’s eyes dart to the stone in probably-Nypa’s hand. “I don’t know.”

Gabbro turns to follow their gaze, then frowns. “Ah.”

“We can’t, just. Can we?” Sanidine’s ears fold back slightly. “I mean. They’ll have it back once the loop ends, and it might have something important on it. But.”

“But it’s theirs.” Gabbro says, looking back at Sanidine. They had been enjoying seeing their partner without that indecision on their face, but so little about their situation allows that kind of confidence for long. “Yeah. I understand, Sani. Feels kinda like a line we’re crossing. Do you want me to take it for you?”

Sanidine grits their teeth for a moment, then shakes their head. “No. I’m the one who needs to know. I’ve got it.”

“I’m right behind you.” Gabbro nods. They stay close to Sanidine as they circle back to the body, watching their time buddy’s shaking hands as they bend down to the remains of the chief engineer. They flinch in sympathy as the younger astronaut’s tremors cause the skeleton’s bones to detach and fall away, and Sani lets out a strangled whining noise of distress.

That noise gets Gabbro’s hands onto their shoulders. “Easy.”

“I’msorry-” Sanidine gasps out, hunching forward for a moment and trying not to think about the damage they’ve done. It feels wrong, like they’re some kind of grave robber, even if they know it’s not the case. Gabbro’s hands are buckles on a safety harness, grabbing them and keeping them from sliding further into that pit, and they clutch the stone all the tighter while they breathe, trying to steady themself.

Gabbro lets them breathe for a moment, then grabs their pack and pulls them upright again. “Stay with me, partner. Nobody’s going to blame you for that. Not your fault.”

“I know.” Sanidine mutters, wary of raising their voice any further, leaning back against Gabbro with their eyes shut. “I know. Void take me, though, I’m so sorry, Nypa.”

“They know.” Gabbro says, quietly. “If they’re still here, they know.”

Sanidine breathes deeply, then sighs, heavy and tired. “I hope so. I’m okay. I’m good. Thank you, Gabs.”

“Gabs?” Gabbro squints. “Wait. I haven’t been called that in ages.”

“What? Oh.” Sanidine shakes their head, turning and opening their eyes again. “Sorry, I just, thought you should have a nickname. Like how everyone calls me Sani.”

Gabbro sighs, then smiles. “Heh. I don’t think I hate it or anything, but Slate used to call me that all the time.”

“Oh. Really? I didn’t know.” Sanidine returns Gabbro’s smile. “Never really happened to be around them at the same time, I guess. Uh. So much for that.”

Gabbro laughs quietly. “Yeah. They only really called me Gabbro when I broke something.”

“That sounds like Slate, alright.” Sanidine shakes their head, starting toward the pools. “Alright, let’s see if this was worth it.”

Before setting the stone into the pillar, they reach for Gabbro’s hand, bracing themself for the odd sensation of cool metal and distorted vision.

The pool’s hum invades their ears, and the world shifts around them.

The first thing they realize is that they appear to still be on Brittle Hollow, based on the way things look outside. They can vaguely see the crust through the window, distorted by the extreme proximity of the black hole. The last time they were so close to it, they were falling into it while dazed. It’s less intimidating than it was then for so many reasons, viewing it through the window of this structure, less a ravenous beast and more a force of nature like the tornadoes of Giant’s Deep.

The room they’re in has an extended rail running along its top side, stretching down to just skim the surface of the black hole. Trees sit to either side of the impressive viewing window, and there in the middle is-

Sanidine gasps, stepping back reflexively. Even Gabbro can’t help but tense at the sight. Another statue, intact. So close it could reach out and ensnare them as easily as their respective linked statues did, back when they were completely different people.

It doesn’t react to their presence at all. It still takes them over half a minute to remember to breathe. They’d seen one in the tracking module projection stone, but it was further from the pool, less immediately threatening. And, more importantly, trapped on Giant’s Deep.

“There are more.” Sanidine mutters, bitterly. “They’re all over, aren’t they? It was just a matter of time before one of us got into this mess.”

“Having one here doesn’t mean they’re everywhere.” Gabbro says, but the words feel hollow even to them. The thought is far more horrifying than the supernova ever could be. As badly as they’ve been hurt by the loops, as much as they wish they weren’t forced into this situation, the idea of Chert or Riebeck, or stars forbid someone back home stumbling into one is far worse.

At least it’s already too late for them. At least, Gabbro thinks, they’ve got each other, and they may never have had each other without the terrifying power these statues represent, and there’s a dark comfort in that.

At least the loops didn’t break someone who wasn’t already familiar with being broken, somewhere inside.

It’s a thought they both have, and they both try to push it aside.

“We know nobody’s found them yet.” Sanidine says, finally. “And if I had to guess, based on everything else we’ve seen, if we don’t do something to make them change their routine they’ll behave mostly the same ways each time. We just, have to be careful, yeah?”

“Yeah. Okay, yeah. Riebeck hasn’t found this, which means they won’t find this.” Gabbro says, squeezing Sanidine’s hand. “Chert isn’t going to have to remember this. They’re okay.”

“They’re okay.” Sanidine echoes, squeezing Gabbro’s hand back.

They don’t give themselves room to start thinking about whether or not this might be easier to bear if they weren’t forgotten by the others, because the idea is so tempting and so repulsive that even unvoiced they want to destroy the parts of them that think it. Gossan, Riebeck, Chert, Slate, Hal, the people that could help them if they could just remember are right there, just out of reach.

But that help would come at the cost of destroying the people they loved. They can’t do that. They won’t.

They force their eyes away from the statue again, taking in the rest of the room. There’s some form of control panel behind them, placed at the center of a mural painted onto the floor that they can’t quite understand. Behind that, a scroll wall, its writing tantalizingly out of reach. A rack of scrolls lies to their left, and to the right, a display not unlike the one on the White Hole Station. They didn’t really understand the point of that one, either, but this one’s rotating. It seems significant. It drives Sanidine crazy that, upon producing the translator, it can’t lock on through a combination of range and the distortion of the pool.

They finally give up and look at Gabbro. “Okay. Alright, so this place, if it’s still there. It’s gotta be down near the black hole, right?”

“Well, I’d be startled to find out it was anywhere else.” Gabbro says. The liquid-metal makes their expression hard to read, but Sanidine is absolutely certain they have that tired, almost-playful smile that’s such an aggravating delight to see. The kind of smile that would’ve gotten them yelled at if they gave it to Hornfels, and probably has in the past.

Sanidine decides to elbow them for it on that assumption, and is rewarded with a breathy chuckle.

Good enough. “So, we should probably find it.”

“If it’s still around. Actually, I wonder. It’s a bit of a blur, but that thing we hit when we were falling in a while back, do you think this is the same building?” Gabbro wonders.

“Hm. That’s a good point, actually. I don’t know if anything else hangs down this far. I just wish we could figure out if this is some kind of recording, or what.” Sanidine says, glancing past the statue at the black hole looming outside.

Gabbro ponders this for a moment, then stiffens. “I have an idea.”

Chapter Text

“So, the important thing to understand about this plan is that we’re both going to hate it.” Gabbro says, once they’ve emerged from the liquid metal. They lean on the wall next to it together, and Sanidine frowns deeply, but they say nothing.

“One of us stays here. Probably easier if it’s you, since you said your jetpack hand felt unsteady before. The other one heads back to those bridges and fires a scout into the Black Hole, trying to bank it so that if the person in the metal is getting a live image, they can see it go in.”

Sanidine grimaces. “I’m not a big fan of the idea of splitting up. We’ll have to jump the radio power back to medium range, at least. And if something goes wrong-”

“-nothing will go wrong. We’ll be back together before you know it, and then we can figure out what all of this means.” Gabbro reaches to touch Sanidine’s arm gently. “I know it’s going to hurt. I don’t have any better ideas, and at least these two aren’t in the debris of a space station or the core of a planet..”

Sanidine looks them in the eyes, mouth quirking, trying to think of a good reason not to go through with this. They finally sigh. “Okay. Fine. You’re right. Radios to full range, you use the safe setting on the scout’s launch power and by stars or void if you fall I’m chasing you out to the White Hole Station.”

“All fair.” Gabbro says. They pull their helmet off their pack, but before they can put it on, Sanidine grasps their face and pulls them into a kiss.

Hopefully Nypa wouldn’t mind.

They pull apart slowly, and Gabbro relishes the electric tingle on their lips just as much this time as they did the first.

Sanidine stares into their partner’s pink eyes, letting them go. “Be careful. All the time in the universe and more. Don’t make me end a loop alone again just yet.”

“Never.” Gabbro says, breathlessly. “Not ever again, if I can help it.”

“I know. But I have to say it anyway.” Sanidine says, and they smile softly. “I love you.”

“I love you.” Gabbro says, before pulling their helmet on. Sanidine is briefly sad to see their face disappear, then they busy themself with pulling their own helmet on while Gabbro heads back outside. By the time their suit’s HUD engages, they’re alone again.

They try not to feel completely hollow, boosting their suit radio’s signal power to maximum. They step into the pool and shudder at the disorientation, then sit down to wait, repeating Kousa’s words in their head like a small mantra against their worries. They don’t know how to be themself without Gabbro, and that’s still okay. It has to be.

“Sani? You receiving me?”

They jump back to their feet when Gabbro’s voice comes over the radio. It’s like a wave of relief crashes into their body at the sound. “I’m here. Sounds nice and clear. You’re okay, right?”

“Shaky, lonely, the usual without you anymore. But I’m not hurt.” Gabbro sighs. “Hearth’s name, I hope Kousa didn’t feel so empty for the rest of their life. Anyway, ready for the scout?”

“Yeah. Me too.” Sanidine sighs as well. “Fire away. I’m watching.”

The distinct p-thyummm of the scout launcher echoes in the radio. Sanidine watches, tense.

There. Something falling, curving. Something white with a clear light on it, something extremely familiar. The Little Scout.

It vanishes into the black hole, and Sanidine smiles. Okay. Good. No Gabbro falling in. Everything’s fine. “I saw it! Looks like we have our answer.”

“Turns out I do have good ideas every so often. Alright, let me recall it and I’ll hurry back.” Gabbro replies, and they don’t even try to hide how shaky their voice is.

“Gabbro? Sanidine?” Riebeck’s voice bursts onto the radio, and both of the other two astronauts let out a startled yell. Sanidine jumps and nearly trips over the middle pedestal of the pool.

And then Gabbro keeps yelling, and Sanidine’s heart sinks into their stomach. They start moving before they even confirm what happened, sprinting back out of the control room and jumping off the gravity plate instead of using the lift.

Riebeck’s yelling something. They try to ignore it, because it doesn’t matter, and with how their hands are still trembling they have to focus on their jetpack. Careful thrusts carry them down, and for all that they land hard due to their hand not cooperating- and they do, they feel their ankle twist and snap, white-hot pain lancing up into them, and they stumble- they keep moving forward, throwing themself into the air again with reckless disregard for their own safety.

“-into the black hole, and-” Sanidine groans. Riebeck’s still rambling, and it’s totally understandable that they’re panicking. Sanidine’s pretty sure they let out an unpleasant noise when they landed, and that’s probably not helping. But Riebeck’s distress is making it hard for them to focus, and their ankle is really starting to bother them when their boots touch the ground between jetpack bursts. Something has to give.

“Riebeck!” They yell, loud and hard and unlike them, and the rambling stops for just long enough. Ugh, their body’s going to hate them for this, they can already tell. “Don’t ask questions, just listen! Everything’s going to be just fine! You’re dreaming!”

“W-what-”

“We’re not real! You dozed off at the campfire, and you’re having a nightmare now but we’re not real, and we’re going to land on the other side of that black hole and be absolutely fine!” Sanidine shouts, clearing another gap. The bridges aren’t far now, at the speed they’re moving.

“Yo-you’re, you, but- but I saw-”

“I know, and I’m sorry, and you would hate me so much for doing this to you if you could remember it but it’s not real, okay?! It’s not!” Sanidine feels like they’re begging now. Maybe they are, though they loathe the idea, because the last time they were begging the time loop for something they were on a beach with a Gabbro who was just a sort-of friend. They’re sure they’re crying, although they can’t really tell without slowing down and thinking, and thinking is the last thing they want to be doing.

“Sanidine, what are you- you-”

They burst onto the bridge in a plume of jetpack flame. Their suit beeps to alert them that the tank is half empty. Fine. It won’t matter in a moment. They wish they’d remembered that Riebeck was in range for the radios on this setting. They wish they’d remembered a lot of things where the other astronauts are involved.

“I’m so sorry, Rie, I’m, I should’ve realized sooner, but please don’t look, please, you don’t have to look, it’s not real-” Sanidine’s sure they’re rambling. One more good jump, flames splashing against the tile in response to the tightness they pull the jetpack control with.

They twist as they plummet, facing the black hole head on, and open their arms to embrace its weight. They try to ignore Riebeck’s screaming in their ear.

Just a bad dream for everyone else, until they finally can be real again.

They pull inward, wheezing- they’re not sure they’ll ever get used to that feeling- and the radio goes mercifully quiet for a moment until they’re returned to existence. They inhale, light hitting their eyes again-

-and Gabbro’s arms catch them tight, the pair spinning away through the void next to the white hole, surrounded by Brittle Hollow’s crust.

“Sorry-.” Is the first thing they hear, and they shake their head, planting their face against Gabbro’s chest and finally breaking.

“No.” Sanidine manages to say, clutching Gabbro’s back, speaking between heaving breaths and tight sobs. “Shut up. Just hold me.”

So Gabbro does. They want to apologize, they want to tell Sanidine how much they wish they’d left sooner, how they should’ve known Riebeck would hear them, how even then they should’ve controlled themself.

Even if Sanidine didn’t tell Gabbro not to say them, they know their partner won’t accept the words anyway. So they go back to doing what they’d already been in the middle of and cry at their stupidity, as shared as it might be. They put their hand against the back of Sanidine’s helmet, as though they can do anything more than leave it there. They’re drifting toward the White Hole Station, neither of them has to do anything but wait and recover, and the sun isn’t even to its final stages yet.

It’s almost peaceful here, just like last time, and the quiet falls over the pair like a familiar blanket.

They only finally speak again when they land on the gravity plating, Sanidine’s back to the tile.

“Okay,” Sanidine mumbles, and they try to ignore the way their throat now protests. “We’re okay. It’s okay. I know. I’m sorry too.”

“Heh. Yeah. We’re awful at this.” Gabbro says, then starts to pull Sanidine toward the entrance. “Come on, time buddy. Let’s get inside.”

Sanidine nods, turning to take the lead on opening the hatch this time. “Riebeck, uh, saw you. Saw me too.”

“Fuck.” Gabbro breathes. Sanidine nearly startles just to hear it come out of their mouth, but can’t find it in them to blame Gabbro one bit. “Not again. Are they- what did you say to them?”

Sanidine takes comfort in the interruption brought on by the gentle hiss of their tanks refilling, even though they hadn’t really burned that much air. They drift above the station’s interior for a moment. “That it was a nightmare. We’re just a bad dream to them.”

Gabbro stares into Sanidine’s visor, then sighs. “They didn’t believe you. We both know that.”

“No. But it’s the truth.” Sanidine says, clenching their hands into fists against Gabbro’s back. “They wake up and forget. We wake up and, this, and it’s already been, what, almost two weeks? I feel like we haven’t been real to anyone else any more than they have to us since this all started.”

“Can’t say I haven’t thought about that.” Gabbro says, and Sanidine can hear the grimace in their voice. “The worst part is, if we’re not talking to them, I can kind of forget. You and I can just, be, out here. That’s what we were doing earlier. But every time we get anywhere near them, Hal, Riebeck, any of it, either we break or they do. And it’s usually been both.”

“We- we need to, land.” Sanidine says, reaching for their jetpack control. “See what this whole warp thing is about. See if we can. I don’t know what. Something. I want, I want to get to where we can tell them we’re alive. They don’t need to know anything else, but.”

Gabbro nods, and it takes only the gentlest of taps to the jetpack thrusters for the station’s gravity plating to kick in, and they drop.

Sanidine howls as they land on their damaged ankle, their leg buckling. Gabbro catches their weight like they’re the most fragile thing in the universe, and Sanidine isn’t sure if they hate being treated that way or not. They don’t have time to think about it before their lungs make their objections to the noise they just made known, their body wracked by a small coughing fit. Void damn it.

“Void-brained idiot. Why didn’t you tell me you were hurt?” Gabbro hisses.

“It’s not that bad.” Sanidine rasps, and they really do mean it. Compared to the condition they wound up here in before, it’s not even close.

“You screamed.” Gabbro says, and it sounds more accusatory than they meant it to. Sanidine isn’t lying, and they can tell, because of course they can tell, but that doesn’t make the scream any less terrifying to think about.

“Yeah. Well. It’s just my ankle. Twisted or broke or whatever, I’m fine.” Sanidine insists. “We can’t have much longer, anyway, and we’ve both suffered worse already. Nothing a little sun exposure won’t fix.”

“That’s-” Gabbro says, and a smile plays at the corners of their mouth despite their efforts not to let it win. “Don’t change the subject by being funnier than me.”

“I’ll try not to make it a habit. I already have all of that translation over there memorized. I want to see what’s below.” Sanidine says, glancing at the downward-facing gravity lift. “Because according to our friend Poke there, this should send us back to Brittle Hollow somehow, as long as it rotates to align with the receiver on the planet.”

“Which I don’t think it’s doing, given it’s pointing away from the system.” Gabbro observes, then nods. They loop an arm under Sani’s, sliding it between their pack to properly support their partner, then help them limp to the gravity lift.

“I can walk.” Sanidine mutters. But they don’t try to physically refuse Gabbro’s help, and they don’t complain any further, letting themself lean their weight onto the taller astronaut. It barely seems to affect Gabbro much, and Sanidine is grateful for that at least, especially when they pull together to ride the lift in each other’s arms.

It takes them no talking and very little effort to figure out the vision-reactive ball in the base of the station, sliding it neatly into the slot near the other lift. They ride it up, Gabbro refusing to let Sanidine walk on their own still, and step toward the center of the room.

Sanidine’s eyes land on the rotating image of the station, and they grin. “That’s what that diagram means. Knew it had to be important.”

“Don’t get weird about it. I could’ve told you that.” Gabbro teases, and Sanidine grunts, which Gabbro considers a reward.

The station’s image reaches the alignment point on the wall.

Chapter Text

Sanidine and Gabbro groan together, existences pulled inward, and then Brittle Hollow’s northern pole unfolds before them. Their ship is even still conveniently parked nearby. Sanidine makes a note of the location, wishing they had more time. They will have more time. This can take a little priority over the Meltwater District, at least for now. This is incredible.

The sun makes its presence known through dramatic shadow, cast from behind them. It’s dying now, sick and red and bubbling, and it’s impossible not to feel pressured with how it dominates the broken horizon.

They’re quickly distracted from it by the way their radios crackle back to life, Riebeck’s panicking, hyperventilating voice trying to say something, to somebody. Probably Hornfels. Gabbro grimaces at the sound, and the pair start for the nearby ship, Sanidine forcing the issue of speed by firing their jetpack and dragging them both into the air.

“Riebeck.” Gabbro says, evenly, and the frequency goes deathly quiet.

“What.” Riebeck finally says, as they enter the ship.

Sanidine glances at Gabbro, then switches on the ship’s radio and dials it in. They settle into their seat with a groan. They’ve never flown with a- yeah, okay, almost certainly broken ankle before. The pedal feels so much firmer than they want it to. They can compensate for this. The engines whine, then roar, and the ship takes to the air.

“Hey buddy. Sani and I wanted to apologize.” Gabbro says, grabbing the back of Sanidine’s seat. The ship rattles with the force Sani’s throwing into it, spewing a wheel of flame defiantly as it spins to face the planet again, and Gabbro grunts. They reach past Sani to bring the signalscope up, grabbing its control arm and sweeping it across the view in front of them. There it is. Not live playing, just broadcasting Riebeck’s identification loop, but unmistakably a banjo. Very, very easily accessible through the crust.

Gabbro switches the scope off, and Sanidine hisses, forgetting their injured ankle just long enough to try to throw some of the ship’s yaw thrusters into the mix. Fine. They can line up without them, even if their hands still shake.

“You two died.” Riebeck whispers. “Sani wa, was delirious, and yelling, and then, I saw you both-”

“Mm, not dead yet, just had a little fall.” Gabbro says, squeezing Sanidine’s shoulder reassuringly as the nose jitters just enough to be a problem.

Sanidine closes their eyes to suck in a breath, letting it work through them. Just like they’d practiced. Just like Gabbro taught them. Let it roll down through the muscles, let them relax one by one. It can do little in the face of their muscles trembling, but it pulls them back from their nerves. They push the throttle forward and the ship eases into motion, slipping under the crust halfway between Riebeck and the Hanging City.

“Into a b-” Riebeck starts, stammers out, stops. “That.”

“Turns out it’s not so bad! Little stomach-turny, but you wind up just outside the Bramble’s orbit!” Gabbro says. Their tone is way too forced, and Sanidine tries to ignore how alien it is coming out of Gabbro’s mouth at this point.

Even Riebeck notices, based on the confused little whine they make. They’re probably about to speak again, but the aggressive roar of the ship’s engines overwhelms their signal, and Sanidine kills the radio.

Then they put both hands back on the controls, angling the ship in and settling it into place on the outcropping over Riebeck’s camp. They’re off-center. Void damn it all. It wobbles, threatens to abandon its new post to visit the White Hole Station. The pair of astronauts climb out of it, Gabbro helping Sanidine down, before it tumbles free and dives into the black hole’s embrace.

“This isn’t working.” Sanidine mutters, muting their helmet radio. Gabbro’s got them again, and they head toward the hole leading down together.

“You don’t say.” Gabbro sighs. “I can’t keep that up anyway. It was killing me to sound like that, I have no idea how I used to do it every day.”

“I hated hearing it.” Sanidine admits. “It’s not you.”

“To them it was.” Gabbro says, and there’s pain in those words.

“I don’t care.” Sanidine growls, and the arm they have over Gabbro’s shoulders tenses. They stop short of the hole, though they’re already holding their jetpack’s control arm. “We don’t have much left this go-around. This is going to hurt no matter what we do, and I don’t think I can- I don’t think we can pretend to be whoever they thought we were. Not right now. Besides, Riebeck deserves to see us at least once, especially after how they sounded on the radio. I want it to be really us. I want to know if we can even do that anymore.”

They sound like they’re begging again. They don’t care this time. Gabbro won’t judge them, or pity them, or worry. Gabbro will just love them, and understand, and stars above that’s something they'll cling to until the end of the universe, over and over again.

And, sure enough, Gabbro leans to bonk their helmet gently into Sanidine’s. “Alright. Together, then.”

They jump down as one, jetpacks flaring in tandem, and Gabbro catches Sanidine’s weight again. It comes easily. Over two years of Giant’s Deep’s jealous hold has strengthened them in a way they were never motivated enough to achieve before, and not for the first time, they’re glad of it. Sure, they never anticipated using it to support their fellow astronauts quite like this, but they’re hardly upset about that. After all, they’d catch Sanidine a thousand times if it meant they didn’t have to suffer from an injury.

They try not to think about how Sanidine had cried out in the White Hole Station.

Riebeck isn’t even holding their banjo at this point, their helmet off and their head in their hands. When Sanidine and Gabbro come along the pathway into their camp, they lift their head only briefly, green eyes scanning over the pair.

“I ought to throw you back in there.” They finally say, quietly.

Sanidine sighs. “Nothing we don’t probably deserve. Can we sit? My ankle’s killing me.”

Gabbro manages not to say anything. Sanidine probably didn’t put any real thought into the phrase they chose. But if they were back on the ship that would’ve sparked at least three good jokes, and from the way Sanidine’s hand clasps their shoulder a little tighter, they know it too.

“Fine. Sure.” Riebeck squints at them. The two aren’t as upset as they expected them to be, or as dead, and that’s strange. They just sound something like tired, although Riebeck isn’t sure they’ve ever heard someone get tired to this extent while in space before.

Sanidine finally separates from Gabbro long enough to limp into marshmallow range of the fire. They drop to a seat, and Gabbro joins them, and they remove their helmets eagerly to shake their ears out again.

That gets Riebeck to sit up straight. The pair look exhausted, there’s something in their eyes that sends a chill up Riebeck’s spine, and almost as alarming as all that is that Sanidine’s hand falls into Gabbro’s like it was made to be there. When did this happen? Maybe they really are dreaming.

“So,” Sanidine starts. They sound awful. Riebeck briefly considers offering them a drink of water, but Sanidine keeps talking before they can get a canteen out. “Uh. Let’s start with the obvious. We’re sorry for worrying you so badly. We kind of forgot anyone could hear our radios.”

They cough once, a horrible dry cough, and Gabbro wraps their arm around their partner’s shoulders, leaning to whisper to them.

“That isn’t getting worse, is it?” They ask, and Sanidine shakes their head. “Okay. Let me know if you start thinking you won’t make the end of the loop. We’ll find somewhere to ride it out.”

They’re trying to be quiet enough that Riebeck won’t hear everything. Riebeck hears it anyway.

“What- no, you both- stop.” The archaeologist holds their hands up. They frown at the sight of Gabbro and Sanidine both tensing. “One t-thing at a time, okay? Please. What in Hearth’s name do you mean, ‘won’t make the end of the loop’?”

“Gotta ask the difficult one first?” Sanidine asks.

“You won’t like this, Riebeck.” Gabbro warns, and it’s- that tone is terrifying, they don’t even sound upset, just tired. Flat. Where’s the Gabbro Riebeck knows? What is Gabbro even doing on Brittle Hollow with the rookie? For that matter, why does Sanidine sound the same way? They just launched earlier today!

“J-just like I didn’t like s-spaceflight.” Riebeck says, crossing their arms. “Tell me a-anyway.”

“My lungs are underdeveloped.” Sanidine says, and they sound hollowed out, and Riebeck’s bravado falters. “It’s not your problem. Gabbro’s been helping. I have to take this medicine every so often, or the symptoms get really bad while I’m wearing my suit. We call it a loop.”

“What?! Wait, did Gneiss-”

Sanidine holds their hand up, and Riebeck stops. “I don’t wanna talk too much about it, okay? It’s being taken care of, not important right now, and I'm not dying. Listen, though, I wanted to tell you, uh, I’m sorry about, when you were home last time. We got into that fight about the Nomai skeleton, and I- I said a lot of stupid things. So.”

Stars above, their hoarse voice is shaking, and their hand is no better as they hold it out to Riebeck. “Can you forgive me?”

Riebeck stares at their hand. At how Gabbro’s holding them, almost protectively. At the way they look, so tired, that weird energy they both had on the radio earlier snuffed out by. By what?

They're pretty sure Sanidine's not telling them the whole story. Do they even want to know what's being left unsaid?

No, not right now, they decide. It's terrifying, and whatever's going on with them seems so much bigger than Riebeck can handle after the way they'd been panicking already. They’re just glad their friends are here, in front of them, after somehow surviving the most terrifying thing they’ve ever laid eyes on. Whatever Sanidine says, this moment feels real. They reach out and grasp Sanidine’s hand firmly with both of theirs, smiling slightly and nodding. “Of course. You too, Gabbro. Just, just never do, that, again, with the- the, you know. Please? My heart can’t take it.”

“We’ll do our best.” Gabbro says, quietly. It doesn’t sound like a lie, but there’s something there, something Gabbro wants to say. Something they won’t say. Riebeck’s never been able to pick up on that from Gabbro before; Gabbro was always just Gabbro, their strange friend who liked tornadoes and poetry and wandering trees. Not… this. Vulnerable. Short-spoken. Physical with someone else, in any sense.

For that matter, that shaking is completely uncharacteristic of Sanidine’s confidence. Even with a condition- what condition?- Riebeck has issues believing this is the same bright hatchling, two years younger than them and three younger than Gabbro. Their eyes carry an awful sadness, and Sanidine was never particularly close to Gabbro, much less close enough that they would sit like that.

Riebeck stares at them both like they’re strangers, for a moment, and the pair visibly flinch.

“I- I’m sorry!” Riebeck gasps, as they realize how they’d been thinking. This isn’t supporting their fellow astronauts at all, and there’s a cold knife of guilt plunging into their spine. Something’s wrong with them, but they aren’t different people, they need Riebeck’s help, not their. Their what. Pity? Suspicion? They don’t like feeling this way, but they’ve never seen anything quite like this before.

“We know.” Sanidine says, quietly, and it’s the most gentle words Riebeck has ever heard out of their mouth. Fragile and raw. “It’s okay. Next time, we’ll be more careful.”

“What do you mean, next time?” Riebeck asks, and if they frown any harder their face will cave in on itself.

“I told you. It’s- it’s like a bad dream.” Sanidine looks at something behind Riebeck, out within the cavernous center of Brittle Hollow. They grip Gabbro’s hand a little tighter, and of course Riebeck notices, because their whole life has been training to pick up on details. “It’s almost over now. We’re not gonna be here when you wake up, and you won’t remember any of this. But while this lasts, I… thanks, Riebeck. Thank you. For forgiving us.”

“Of course I f-forgive you.” Riebeck sighs, carefully watching the pair’s eyes. “I still don’t know how you came back f-from, um, that. But you did. So maybe this is a dream. Even in a dream you're my friends, though!”

Gabbro nods slowly. The light’s going dim, and the pair pull closer to each other, embracing each other tightly. Neither can bear to look at Riebeck.

Riebeck can’t bear to look away from them. There’s something shining into Brittle Hollow, brilliant blue and white. The crust rattles as a shockwave hits them, and the archaeologist clings to the idea that whatever is happening out there, they’ll wake up just fine, as Sanidine said. “On the… the off chance, that this isn’t a dream, then. Then, thank you. For coming back.”

That makes the pair curl in against each other, as though it hurts them somehow to hear it. Riebeck hopes it wasn’t the wrong thing to say. Dream or no, they don’t want their friends to hurt.

It’s getting too bright. The trees catch flame around them. Riebeck lets out a single, strained yell as the plasma catches them, the roar of it just barely enough to keep the other two from hearing it clearly in the portions of pieces of moments they have left.

The universe ends.

Chapter Text

Sanidine and Gabbro stand side by side on the beach on Giant’s Deep, staring at the water together, helmets on. The ship idles behind them, waiting patiently for its passengers to make up their minds. The trip over had been, as expected, primarily spent rebuilding confidence after the difficult time they’d had talking to Riebeck.

Nothing new for them, at this point. It didn’t even really take that long before they were just discussing what the revelation of the projection pools meant for their plans.

“The core, you said?” Sanidine asks, finally. They’ve been there for ten whole minutes since Sanidine took their medicine, after Gabbro brought up the tracking module’s possible location.

“I did say.” Gabbro sighs, crossing their arms. “Not that I could tell you how to get there. I dove as deep as I could, and I could just barely see it in the distance before the current knocked me back. And my only other idea was to try using a gravity crystal, but it turns out they need a surface to align to, so I just wound up spinning in the water for a while.”

Sanidine glances at their partner.

Gabbro grins under their helmet, and Sanidine can hear it in their voice. “Not as bad as it sounds, actually, but I wouldn’t suggest it.”

Sanidine shakes their head, turning back to the water. “So we can’t go under. Or, at least, we can’t go under easily. But the module went under. How’d it manage that?”

“That’s a good question.” Gabbro takes out their flute, twirling it about their fingers like a baton. “I wish I had a better view of the explosion, or at least that it would happen somewhere I could see the module come down. Given the flash is visible from Timber Hearth, it must be pretty violent.”

“Violent enough to rip the cannon apart. Mallow and Avens must be giggling like hatchlings at their work.” Sanidine mutters. There’s no malice in it. They can no more blame the two ancient Nomai for their overenthusiasm than they can blame Slate for overdoing it on a rocket engine. It’s simply how some people are, and apparently how some people always have been.

They startle. “Violent enough that the module wouldn’t just fall, it’d be thrown.”

It’s Gabbro’s turn to look at Sanidine, now. They cross their arms, tapping the flute against their sleeve. “I know that tone. What’ve you got?”

“Okay, I’m going to sound a little bit like Slate here, so bear with me. I know how it penetrated the current.” Sanidine breathes deep. “If it’s going fast enough, the force of the current won’t be able to properly deflect it before it breaks through. Too much energy. It might slow it down significantly, but it’d break through.”

“Oh no.” Gabbro mutters.

“Oh yes. Look, either this works and we’ve got the coolest story ever for later, or it doesn’t and we wake up again.” Sanidine bounces from foot to foot a little, though the effect is muted by Giant’s Deep and its gravity. “Besides, I’ve always wanted to see how fast I could get a ship going if I really tried. And nobody else is out here.”

“Fine. But if we regret this you owe me a loop sometime of my ideas.” Gabbro says, pointing the flute at Sanidine. “Deal?”

“Fine! As if I wouldn’t go with your ideas anyway.” Sanidine says, before leaning forward around the flute to bonk their helmet gently against Gabbro’s. “Next time you should bargain for something you don’t already have.”

“Careful what you wish for.” Gabbro chuckles. “If we’re doing this, we should do it. Giant’s Deep won’t be patient forever.”

“Yeah.” Sanidine sighs, then starts for the ship again. “If only.”

As though to accentuate Gabbro’s point a cyclone meanders along, making a sudden sharp turn toward the island and catching them both off-guard. They hit their jetpacks as soon as they’re in zero gravity and enter the ship just as the island starts to fall, Sanidine flinging themself into the pilot’s seat and jamming the throttle fully open.

The ship shudders against the planet’s mighty grasp, dipping low and skimming the clouds, before accelerating hard into the planet’s orbit. Sanidine throttles back to guide the ship the probe cannon’s rubble, dancing it through a piece of the cannon’s barrel, then rolls around the main body of the cannon and gives the engines everything the ship has again.

Gabbro groans, dropping into place near the equipment rack and pulling their helmet off. “Are you showing off to me?”

“Maybe.” Sanidine leans back into the seat as the ship heads for deep space, unable to keep the remaining adrenaline from shaking in their voice. “Mostly just wanted to know if i could actually make that, though. Before the, you know, the medicine hits.”

Ah. The imprecise way Sanidine flew at the end of the last loop is weighing on them. Gabbro shakes their ears out, then sets their helmet down and gets up. They lean against the back of the seat, wrapping their arms around Sanidine’s chest. “The things you do with this ship are incredible, Sani. Tremors or no.”

Sanidine sighs, letting themself relax down against Gabbro’s firm hold. “I can do better.”

“I believe you. But don’t blame your body for something you can’t control.” Gabbro squeezes gently. “I’d rather have you healthy than flying a little faster.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” Sanidine sighs, then reaches up to remove their helmet. Gabbro takes it from them and sets it down beside their own, then leans back in to kiss the top of their head softly.

“I never said you had to like it. Just that it isn’t your fault.” Gabbro says, quietly.

Sanidine looks up at them, then hits the release on the seat harness. “Someday, my hands are going to get you killed.”

Gabbro shakes their head. “And when we get there, we’ll wake back up, and then we can figure out how to stop it from happening again.”

“And if we can’t?”

Gabbro frowns, then pulls Sanidine up and around the seat to hold them properly, gazing into their eyes. “What’s got you like this suddenly?”

“I,” Sanidine sighs. “I don’t know. I couldn’t land the right way. Almost crashed trying to get into Brittle Hollow, through a hole I could normally breeze through. I guess I just started thinking about it on the way over, because I was imagining what would’ve happened if I’d missed and hit the crust. Or worse, if my hand jerked at the wrong time and hit Riebeck.”

Gabbro squeezes Sanidine against them gently. “Were they that bad, at the end of the loop?”

“Bad enough.” Sanidine shivers unpleasantly. “You were there. You saw that landing. We barely got out of the ship in time.”

“The tremors were hardly the only thing distracting you from flying, time buddy. You’re focusing on the wrong thing. There isn’t a single other pilot I’d trust to make that landing at all.” Gabbro says, firmly. It’s the truth. Chert’s accomplished, but they don’t do much with it, and dangerous precision really isn’t their style. Riebeck is just happy to get the ship on the ground in one piece, most of the time. Gabbro isn’t a bad pilot, but even with the time loop they’d never have the confidence to attempt what Sanidine attempted. Maybe Gossan, if Gossan was in the right mood, but that was never a given. And Gabbro hadn’t been up with them since they lost their eye.

They refuse to consider Feldspar, for any reason. Especially while their love is beating themself up for something so completely out of their control. It won’t help either of them to think about the erstwhile best of the best, even if they weren’t already convinced Sanidine could fly circles around Feldspar’s best effort.

“I just,” Sanidine breathes deep. Exhales. Butts their head into Gabbro’s shoulder. “I can’t stand the thought of losing you because my hands didn’t do what I wanted.”

Gabbro leans their head against Sanidine’s and closes their eyes. “You’re not responsible for me dying, even if it’s a crash. Neither of us is responsible for any of this. Just like we talked about back on the beach, remember? I know it feels like it was ages ago now, but I don’t think either of us is ever going to forget. You know I’ll never blame you, and I’ll never let you blame yourself.”

Gabbro lets that hang in the air, then grins slightly. “Unless, maybe, you decide to land on me one time after I annoy you. Then I might blame you a little.”

“Pfh.” Sani tenses, trying not to laugh at the idea. It’s an awful idea, really. They would never, could never, do that. But there’s a humor in its dark extreme. “That’s bad, Gabbro.”

“Don’t tell me you couldn’t see yourself getting fed up one day.” Gabbro prods, running their hands down the back of Sanidine’s suit. “And deciding you were going to surprise the starlight out of me. Sure, you’d hate it afterward if you didn’t blow the ship up in the process, but just one loop where you decide you’re not taking that medicine no matter what you have to do?”

Sanidine bursts into snickering, squeezing against Gabbro as though it’s somehow a punishment. “I maybe thought about blowing the reactor the first loop you were preparing it.”

“See? I knew you had depths of darkness just waiting to be seen.” Gabbro snickers as well, now. Mission success: Sanidine’s not thinking about that dark possibility anymore, and neither are they. Stars above, that’s anxiety neither of them needs. It’s true that neither one could ever blame the other for a reset, as fragile as their immortality actually is, especially if the circumstances leading to it were caused by the time loop.

It’s still a dark concept, that Sanidine might crash the ship due to their tremors and wake up with that toxic guilt in them. A remnant of the way they both want so badly to save the other from the pain of death, the pain of surviving.

They try not to think about what that loop will be like, if it ever comes. They just hold onto Sanidine as they both descend into breathless giggling again, the way they promised each other they would. Acceptance of the changes their mindsets are still undergoing, not fear or denial. Time Buddies. Love, probably.

Sanidine sighs wistfully as the autopilot alarm goes off. The ship’s turning on its own, Slate’s auto-return function firing exactly as designed before the ship can even get close to the dark, frozen region where the Interloper likely originated. They’re still far enough away that the signalscope can’t differentiate between the different travelers’ beacons, that the different planets are nearly invisible against the backdrop of space. It’s enough to keep their spirits from sinking again.

“You know, you are annoying, with how you know how to make me laugh even when I’m upset.” Sanidine says, sliding back into the pilot’s seat and checking the ship’s speed as it reverses course. “Can’t even get a good panic going anymore when I’m with you.”

“Not for lack of trying.” Gabbro observes, leaning on the seat again. They whistle at the distance they’ve covered. “Still no idea what Slate actually did to this thing.”

“Maybe I’ll ask next time I can stand to look at them.” Sanidine opens the system map on the control screen, bringing up Giant’s Deep. “Would get them to say something new they won’t be upset about, at least.”

“Still thinking about the love thing?”

“Void take me, yes.” Sanidine hisses. They’re accelerating back inward now. The autopilot would moderate its speed the entire distance, but Sanidine makes no such effort. They’re either going to live spectacularly, or die spectacularly, and there’s an awful kind of thrill in choosing the risk instead of having it forced on them.

“I bet Slate’s got a crush on someone.” Gabbro offers. “It’s just, if there’s anyone who’s more private about that kind of thing than we used to be, it’s them.”

“You’re probably right.” Sanidine sighs, then glances back at their partner. Plenty of time to talk. The ship’s fast, but not that fast. “Ever hear any rumors?”

“Me?” Gabbro’s ear flicks lightly.

“You. I mean, on the Ventures radio.” Sanidine grins. “Back when you kept it on, I mean.”

“Hm. Not about Slate.” Gabbro looks back at the solar system. It feels like it’s approaching so slowly, although the ship’s speed is well in excess of anything reasonable already. “Everyone knows about Gossan and Porphy-”

“Yup.” Sanidine nods.

“-yup. There was some chatter once about Esker and Rutile using a private radio frequency, although I don’t know if I buy it.”

“Esker and Rutile?” Sanidine snorts. “It’d help explain why Rutile hates the space program so much, considering Esker stays on the moon all the time.”

“I’m pretty sure we don’t need anything more than ‘everyone has at least one house fire to their name, except you and Chert.’” Gabbro grins. “And you’re cheating.”

“Could always go start one if it’d make you feel better.” Sanidine says, grasping the stick and nudging the ship’s nose back toward Giant’s Deep. They blink, then frown. “Hey, Gabbro?”

“Uh, I don’t like that tone, partner.” Gabbro says.

“Yeah, uh. Pass me my helmet and then tie yourself to something.” Sanidine says, a bit shaky. At this speed an abort would be impossible, and redirecting is unpredictable at best with all of the debris around the giant water planet. They vaguely hope that the impact simply kills them both, if it’s going to kill either of them.

“Wh- oh. Oh, stars above.” Gabbro mutters. As soon as they both have their helmets on they whirl, grabbing a length of rope from the survival supplies and starting to tie themself to the back of Sanidine’s seat.

“Not quite what I had in mind?” Sanidine says, Giant’s Deep starting to look awfully well-defined outside the canopy.

“Didn’t have any better ideas!” Gabbro tightens their makeshift restraint. They brace themself, head between their knees.

Sanidine braces as well, grasping the stick and holding it as steady as their muscles will let them.

The clouds burn from the speed of their reentry. The ship’s hull screams with the plasma sheath that dances across it in those moments between space and sea.

The ship impacts. There's a horrendous burst of steam around it, they both jolt hard, and then everything goes blank.

Chapter Text

Sanidine’s first thought is that their head hurts.

Their second thought is of Gabbro, and they gasp and jerk to alertness in their seat. They can feel the restraint having bruised their chest, shoulders, and hips, and they’re pretty sure the world isn’t supposed to be moving within their cockpit nor be quite so weirdly out of focus, but that’s as unimportant as the dim lighting around the canopy (which is remarkably intact, actually, only sporting surface-level cracks near the edges).

They smack the release and drop forward against the controls, and the ship lurches forward, which makes them yelp and grasp the stick to cancel the momentum, eyes still searching behind them. The ropes dug into their back something fierce, and they’re still pressing into it, which suggests that Gabbro’s still tied down, at least. “Void-damned thing- Gabbro! Can you hear me? Are you still there?”

That’s a weak groan in their ear. The ship stops moving, a bit awkwardly, and Sanidine throws themself around the chair to untie their better half. “I’ve got you, I’m sorry, I should’ve realized, please tell me you’re with me.”

Gabbro groans again, then shakes their shoulders to loosen the ropes. “Ohh, my head.”

Sanidine gingerly removes Gabbro’s helmet, wincing at the fresh cut over their left eyes. It’s not too bad, and there’s no blood on the back of their head at least, and their pink eyes are lucid enough. Sanidine imagines they’re probably no worse than each other. It’s an intense relief, and Sanidine doesn’t get their own helmet off before they pull Gabbro into a tight hug, ignoring the brief pain in their muscles.

Gabbro returns it instantly, reflexively. They both know they should be experiencing their next loop by now, and yet, somehow, Slate’s work held. The canopy didn’t let them die. Giant’s Deep didn’t punish them too harshly for their hubris.

“Hey, partner. Sorry. Think I was seeing supernovas there.” Gabbro whispers, and Sanidine half-forces a laugh. “You hold up better than I did?”

“Doubt it. Haven’t looked yet.” Sanidine admits, before leaning back onto their heels and pulling their own helmet off. Yeah, that’s a busted lip and a swollen shut upper left eye, and they don’t want to think about the pain they’d both have later if they were going to live long enough for it to really matter. “How about it?”

“You and Gossan could compete for who has the uglier eye.” Gabbro grins weakly, before they start to get up. “So, how far off the Deep did we get bounced?”

“Honestly, I didn’t think to-” Sanidine starts to say. They catch a proper look out the canopy as the pair stand, and they go quiet, their good eyes widening.

Gabbro turns, and they can’t help but stare as well.

They’re underwater. That is, in and of itself, not that unusual on Giant’s Deep. What’s unusual is that the current’s violent flow is quite some distance above them, leaving them with an unobstructed view of the planet’s depths. And there, in the depths, illuminated by its own frantic lightning, lies the core. In contrast to the wide array of smaller fish that populate the area above the current, the main form of life here are massive translucent jellyfish, ethereal in the way they drift in and out of the core, crackling with its electricity like it’s a cloak to draw around themselves.

“We did it.” Gabbro says, before looking at Sanidine and grinning.

“We did it!” Sanidine laughs, pulling Gabbro in for another tight hug, the pair embracing and bouncing together in the cabin of the ship. It’s a new victory, a major one, an important one.

The brief fear of impact was worth it for this, they both know. This discovery is important in the way the Hanging City is important. This is something new.

Sanidine slides back into place at the controls, after they calm down a bit. Gabbro grips the seat tight. The ship’s hull creaks softly, but slowly it begins to drift forward in response to Sanidine’s urging. Neither astronaut quite appreciated how useful it is that the ship’s thrusters don’t flood their ignition chambers easily before.

They creep toward the core, and Sanidine frowns. They look up at Gabbro, bringing the ship to a halt again. “I don’t like it. That’s gonna fry the electrical for sure, and we’re deep enough that I don’t know how the rest of the ship will react.”

“True. Slate says the ships can withstand lightning storms if they need to, but even if I believe them, I don’t think this is quite what they had in mind.” Gabbro sighs, crossing their arms over the headrest. “Progress is still progress?”

“Weirdly, I’m not sure I’m looking forward to that dive again until we have another seat and another harness.” Sanidine laughs quietly. “But, I mean, we did it at all. That’s gotta count for something. I can’t imagine any Hearthian ever saw this before, you know? And I didn’t even see how fast we hit, but that has to be a record for speed.”

“Fastest crewed flight in the Venture, first one to punch through the current here, first time a ship’s been underwater like this with two people-” Gabbro pauses, mouth quirking, then shakes their head. “Actually, nevermind that last one. Geyser accident during Riebeck’s training.”

“I think I remember that.” Sanidine smiles. “First time Gossan was launched out of a geyser since I was a tadpole, right when I got to being a hatchling. They looked so ridiculous, but then they knew how to come back down safely, how to roll their body to make it back into the geyser hole, and we were all super impressed.”

They sigh, looking down at their suit, tugging at the fabric of their scarf idly. That’s a hurt they weren’t expecting to wake up this loop. They hadn’t felt that ache about the other travelers (save Riebeck, for very immediate reasons) and they hadn’t felt it when thinking about Slate or Esker or Rutile. Their mentor, though, they missed badly. There was guilt there, too, thinking of how Gossan must’ve felt when they so impatiently rushed for their launch codes. Then the statue happened, and they hadn’t spoken to Gossan at all since the day before this all started, because it hurt too much to think about seeing the look they knew they’d have.

“I hope, when we’re out of this, they’re impressed. With both of us. Whoever they think we are then, I want that to be the first thing Gossan thinks, before they’re afraid or worried.”

Gabbro falters, then puts their hands on Sanidine’s shoulders. They stare at the electricity crackling over the core for a long moment, remembering the way Gossan had held them in the observatory. Remembering how their eyes had looked when they had to let Gabbro go.

“Me too.” They say, softly.

The Gossan that they met that day, they know, has been gone for over a week. A new Gossan, identical in every way, down to their very being, is put in the crater every single loop. And, stars above, if that doesn’t hurt the most, knowing one of the most patient and caring people in the Venture is locked to this awful script. The one that sees Sanidine launch every time without a word, and they know what that must be doing to Gossan, but if either of them actually talks to them and tries to explain, all it would accomplish is more hurting. An awful, familiar kind of hurting.

They can’t repeat the same mistake they made by letting Hal know. Because that was lucky, Hal had been able to shoulder that impossible weight for the rest of that loop, and it’d still done horrible things to Sanidine. And if there’s anything the pair have learned over their time in the loops, it’s that with wild and rare and precious exceptions, their luck is devastatingly bad.

Sanidine stares at the core, and through the melancholy of the moment they have to fight the urge to go outside and try to touch it, to see just what that much power would feel like. To feel it course through them, to replace every sense they had with lightning.

They shudder. They can’t do that to Gabbro, and it won’t actually feel good, and damn they need to get a handle on themself before they do something in front of their love that they can’t explain or fix. They rest their hands next to the controls. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah. However much time is left.” Gabbro nods. They noticed the shudder, Sanidine knows they did, but they’re not asking and stars is that a relief.

“Okay. I’ll try not to knock your head into anything this time. You think the canopy is spaceworthy still?” Sanidine asks, throttling up and angling into the current.

“Mm… I don’t want to test it.” Gabbro decides. “It probably won’t hurt to spend the loop here, anyway.”

“Hope there isn’t too much time left, my eye is really not happy right now.” Sanidine manages a smile. Okay. Things are kind-of sort-of looking up again. “And I can’t imagine the helmet is gonna help.”

Gabbro lets out a theatrical sigh, then steps away to open the first aid kit and start digging through it. “My love, let me soothe your wounds.”

“Oh, ew, don’t do that.” Sanidine laughs, easing the ship into the current. “Hold onto something.”

“We need to get more somethings to hold onto.” Gabbro observes, but they stand and grab the spare cargo net along the ship’s ceiling.

Just in time. The ship bucks as it enters the stream of water, then tumbles hard, Sanidine giving up on control and simply letting the current toss them upward. They hear Gabbro groan as the ship is launched into the air sideways, and they try to angle it for a smooth reentry to the water instead of fighting Giant’s Deep’s gravity.

Just like Gabbro does. Flow with the chaos of the planet. They haven’t forgotten the lessons they were starting to learn, even if the hatchling who was learning them no longer exists.

The ship plunges into the water, much less violently this time, and bobs to the surface while righting itself. Both astronauts let their balance and stomachs settle before Sanidine finally unhooks their harness again.

“Ugh, I think you’re right about this place being jealous.” They groan, slipping out of their seat and walking over to Gabbro.

Gabbro lets go of the cargo net, dropping their arms onto and then around Sanidine. “Mhm. It can rage all it wants, though. I’m already yours.”

“I’m worse for hanging a hammock on.” Sanidine says, and the pair sit down on the floor of the cabin. Gabbro retrieves the first aid kit, and they manage to get some numbing cream onto each other’s more notable wounds from the plunge.

“Where were we?” Gabbro asks, packing the kit away again.

“Jealousy?” Sanidine glances out the canopy as they stand up. “Hold on. Island coming our way.”

Gabbro leans past Sanidine to look, then grimaces. “You don’t say.”

It is just another piece of the pair’s impressively awful luck that the statue island has made its way to them, looming outside in a gross facsimile of the way it looms in their minds. It’s not a pleasant visitor. Sanidine and Gabbro both stare at it, like they’re cornered within the ship by the memory of the island’s violence.

“This planet is too big for that thing to follow me around it.” Sanidine mutters, and Gabbro’s arms wrap around them for a moment. Neither of them wants to acknowledge the way the taller astronaut’s hands land over the center of Sanidine’s chest.

“Starting to really wonder about that jealousy thing.” Gabbro sighs. “We can just ignore it, Sani. We don’t have to do anything. It’ll drift by.”

“We can’t ignore it.” Sanidine says, flatly. “You know we can’t.”

Gabbro squeezes their partner against their chest. “No. We can’t. But I hoped saying it would remind us how to.”

“I kinda think that’s just another thing that’s gone, at least right now.” Sanidine admits, sighing heavily.

They lean back against Gabbro’s chest for a moment, then they step away and take their position at the controls again. “I’m not ready. Are you?”

“No.” Gabbro says, leaning on the seat and closing their eyes. “No, I’m not. I still see you on the ground there, just out of reach, every time that island drifts by mine.”

“I’ll never forget how your face looked.” Sanidine sighs, fidgeting with their scarf again. “Or the way your voice sounded, right before I was. Waking up.”

The pair let the silence sink into them. After everything else, it feels almost ridiculous to still be so afraid of that one moment, even if it broke them both apart into so many jagged little pieces. They’ve died so many times since then. They’ll die so many more, they both know it. So why does that island haunt them so much?

“We have to see what’s in there.” Sanidine says, finally, fighting past the way the thought of returning to the island makes them feel.

Gabbro wishes they could disagree. Sanidine’s voice sounds so tired, so hurt, and they wish they could tell them that nothing in that island is worth the pain they both feel at the idea of revisiting it.

They can’t. They know better. The sparse clues they have so far are abundantly clear about one thing: this workshop is almost definitely the origin of the statues that snared them, and if there’s any spot they might learn more about why they’ve been made to suffer this way, it’s there. So instead, they reach around to embrace Sanidine around the chest again, as though their arms could keep their love’s heart safe. “Okay. I’m with you, always. How are we getting in?”

“Could blow the reactor on that lattice on top.” Sanidine mutters, spitefully. They almost actually consider it, but the way Hal and Riebeck would be horrified at the destruction of Nomai artifacts shakes them from their vengeful idea. “But, no, I don’t know. The translations we got last time mentioned another way in, but they never went into detail.”

“Those were the hatchling writings, right?” Gabbro asks, and Sanidine manages to feel enough like a person to snort.

“Someday I’m gonna learn what their word is and you’re going to hate how smug I’ll get.” They look up at Gabbro.

“I’ll still be proud of you for learning.” Gabbro says, with a tired little smile.

Sanidine returns that tiny smile with one of their own. “You’re impossible. Anyway, yeah, the hatchlings had some way to sneak in.”

“Hatchlings sneaking around on Giant’s Deep.” Gabbro looks out at the water and the wind. “Hopefully it wasn’t quite as violent then.”

“Yeah.” Sanidine sighs, then begins to bring the ship into the air, rocking it slowly side to side to drain water from its hull and engine casings. “So, any ideas?”

“Not really. If we’re going to come up with something, we’ll have to actually look the place over again, first.” Gabbro says.

Sanidine grits their teeth, then pushes the throttle forward. The island is waiting.

Chapter Text

This time, Sanidine lets go of the stick as soon as the ship is over the Nomai pad.

It’s almost frustrating how unchanged the island is. As though it didn’t play host to the last gasp of the people they used to be. And of course this one didn’t, that was the one that burned just like everything else weeks ago now. And yes, they both know, it’s just an island. Maybe it’s no more to blame than the ship or the tornado.

They both still hesitate at the hatch, and spend a minute just staring at the lever in Gabbro’s hand.

Sanidine puts their hand on top of Gabbro’s. “Hey. Ship’s secure. No matter what, it won’t catch me again that way. You and I know what we’re dealing with now. We-”

Their voice falters, and they swallow, taking a deep breath. “We can do this. We’re time buddies.”

“We have to do this. And we will. Because, yeah, time buddies.” Gabbro says, nodding. They wish they could sound any more confident than Sanidine, could shore up their time buddy in that moment, but neither one of them really wants to see the island’s surface again.

They exit onto the wet rock, and start walking, hand in hand. Neither dares to let go until the gravity of the planet forces them to in order to jump across to the workshop side of the island. As soon as they’re steady, they grab each other’s hands again like a lifeline, and they start up to the top-side ruin with their hearts pounding.

At least this time they’re not afraid of something they don’t understand. The supernova’s heat is familiar now, although hardly comforting. They now at least know its source, and that lets them keep their eyes forward instead of nervously staring at the sky.

Sanidine can’t bear to retranslate the scribbled words up top. Gabbro doesn’t let them get more than arm’s reach away. They stare down into the latticework instead, and Gabbro lasts about ten seconds before slapping their own forehead.

“Sani.” Gabbro says, trying very hard not to let their composure break. “Sani, there’s water.”

“There’s water everywhere, Gabbro.” Sanidine says, trying very hard not to look behind them at the spot they’d died at. It’s occupying too much of their focus simply to ignore it and wish it would go away.

“No, look. Deep water, there.” Gabbro points with their spare hand. “It’s moving too roughly to be rain collection. The island’s open to the ocean on the bottom, it has to be.”

Sanidine turns to stare at Gabbro, momentarily forgetting the island’s treachery. “You figured all that out that fast?”

“I’ve spent years here, time buddy. I might not know enough of Giant’s Deep’s islands, but I know how that water behaves.” Gabbro says, firmly. “We go under, we’ll find our way in, and we’ll get away from being nearby the worst place on the planet. Trust me?”

“Always.” Sanidine says, reflex more than thought.

Then, with recklessness born from the parts of Sanidine that have become part of them instead, and desperation to flee from one of the places that could still kill what it left behind before, Gabbro turns and hits their jetpack, jumping. The pair do not sail so much as lunge toward open air, and Sanidine does nothing but pull their own jetpack’s thrust in response, because the embers of stars in their blood sing back into glorious fire at the feeling. Alive again, leaving that shattering death behind them.

They plummet over the edge of the island and hit the water, and their injuries howl at the impact, and they let themselves stop caring again. Careful jetpack bursts and Gabbro’s efforts to swim more than Sanidine’s carry them down, under the island.

The part of Sanidine that isn’t buzzing with the relief of being out of sight of the peak of the island notes blearily that they never learned how to swim all that well back home, and Gabbro could really give them some pointers so that they never have to drag Sanidine through the water this way again.

Another loop, maybe. They’re already on a timer, and Sanidine’s operating on lower depth perception than normal, and they’re both starting to feel the fatigue of a busy loop in their hearts.

Then they’re ascending, rising, and splashing up through the hole in the bottom of the island. Gabbro guides them over to the ground, and they climb onto the rocks and groan together, before Sanidine pulls themself over onto Gabbro and bonks their helmet gently against their partner’s.

“I. Don’t remember you being the one who’s supposed to pull that kind of stunt, love.”

“It’s revenge for all the Sanidine Philosophy lately.” Gabbro says, letting out a breathy chuckle.

“I didn’t think it was that bad.” Sanidine grins, rolling back off of their partner again and pushing themself up with a grunt. “Come on. Don’t ever want to have to come back again.”

“Yeah, I. Yeah.” Gabbro rolls onto their knees, then gets to their feet and reaches for Sanidine’s hand. “You’re awful at swimming, by the way.”

“Some of us didn’t need to learn to do more than handle a geyser stream or a river, Gabbro.” Sanidine says, and Gabbro’s hand clasps theirs as naturally as the wind meets the water outside. “Besides, if you’re going to do the hard part, it’s less strain on my lungs.”

“We’ll figure out a way to teach you.” Gabbro shrugs. “Easier to do it during the loops. If you drown, I just have to find a way to follow you.”

Neither of them even flinches anymore. It’s too natural a thought, and they’re too afraid of the separation to fear it at this point. Another part of them consumed by the supernovas, another small slide into being unrecognizable as a whole, living person, much less as themselves. And if they’re conscious of it at all, they brush it aside, because they both know that the pain they would suffer waiting is becoming more unbearable with every loop.

They stiffen as one at the sight of a Nomai skeleton left collapsed over an unfinished statue, still holding the remnants of their tools. Not completely numb to the bodies yet, at least. Sanidine hopes they never are.

They press on. There’s walls to translate. But before they can even begin to pull out the tool, they spot another finished statue, sitting on a slab of stone like it’s an idol for worship. Another inadvertently laid trap, waiting to rip the soul out of whoever’s unfortunate enough to find it. They aren’t even sure if it won’t pair to them somehow, interfering with what’s already there and damaging some of the few good things that have come from the time loops.

And there, at its base, is a Nomai recording device.

Sanidine lets out a soft whine, hand dropping from the translator pouch’s buckles. “Oh, void take me.”

“I’m telling you.” Gabbro says, staring at the statue as though it might suddenly lunge at them. “All of their bad luck landed on us somehow when the universe divided it back up. We pulled the short stick, both of us.”

“Starting to wonder.” Sanidine sighs, considering their options. “Okay. Listen. I’m not willing to leave that thing behind. I’ll risk grabbing it.”

“I can’t let you.” Gabbro grimaces as they say it, their throat tight. “If it does something new to you, if you somehow forget, I. I can’t, Sani.”

Sanidine tenses, then squeezes Gabbro’s hand, turning to look at their helmet’s faceplate. Their eyes are just barely visible in the dim light of the cavern, and they meet each other’s gaze. “I know. I. If I lost you, if, if I left you alone, I. I don’t know. Nothing would be enough to fix it. But I have to get that recording, Gabbro. I need to know. And the statue might not even do anything. We need to know that, too. And, I’m not, I- if something starts to happen, you’re here with me, and, maybe you can, I don’t know.”

They’re rambling again. Gabbro puts a hand on the side of their partner’s helmet, trying to steady them.

“I-” They swallow, trying to clear that tightness in their throat so they can speak. Sanidine’s hand is shaking so badly in theirs, and all of the power and fury of Giant’s Deep couldn’t make Gabbro let it go.  “I know you’re right. I can’t-” -ugh, this was why they never got along with their emotions, how do they find the right way to say this- “-I can’t ask you not to do this. But let me get it, okay?”

Sanidine shudders. “Gabbro-”

“No, listen. You’re the one with the ship. If something happens to your memories, I’m stranded, and I just have to hope you remember to come to me because I’ll sound absolutely crazy if I try to talk to anyone.” Gabbro says, firmly, as though their hand isn’t trembling against Sanidine’s helmet. “If something happens to me, you can come find me. You can try to fix it. So let me do it.”

Sanidine tries to argue. They want to. They want to tell Gabbro that they’re wrong.

They can’t. They feel so helpless. They wish they’d never mentioned the recorder, because in the moment it had seemed like any other artifact, and now they were both realizing just how dangerous retrieving it might actually be, and of course Gabbro is going to be the one to shield them from the risk of forgetting.

There’s a sick glimmer of their old anger, stirring in their gut. They bite down on their cheek to try to focus again. “We’re never risking this again, you hear me? No matter what it is. Promise me.”

“I promise.” Gabbro says, bumping their helmet gently against Sanidine’s. “I don’t think I can do this again anyway. Not to either of us.”

Sanidine nods, swallowing. “Me neither. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Gabbro says. They take one more long moment, then they release Sanidine’s hand at last and start toward the statue.

For a moment, as they get close, neither of them can breathe. Sanidine’s jetpack control bounces against their palm, fully ready to tackle Gabbro away from it in a burst of flames at the first hint of movement.

Nothing. The statue stays still, its eyes do not open. Both astronauts’ shoulders sag as they finally exhale, nearly simultaneously, and Gabbro scoops up the recording device.

Sanidine doesn’t give it a second glance. They rush forward and wrap Gabbro in their arms and hold on tight. They grip their partner’s suit so tightly the leather in their gloves is creaking. “Thank Hearth. If I- if you- I would-”

“I know.” Gabbro mumbles, just loud enough to pick up on the suit radio. They nearly lift Sanidine’s feet off the ground, they’re holding them so close. Neither of them cares.

They stay like that for several minutes, holding each other, numb to everything else. They’re finally made to move by Giant’s Deep itself, and without hesitation Sanidine takes the lead, firing their jetpack to get the pair into the higher of the two tornado shelters. They’re grabbed by it and held fast, and this time there’s no terror, no falling ship, no futile outstretched hand.

Just Sanidine. Just Gabbro. Just the glow of ancient technology, and the sound of their breathing.

The atmosphere rushes back in from below, a billowing swirl of emerald clouds, and Gabbro bonks their helmet against Sanidine’s gently. They feel a little more like Gabbro again, after holding Sanidine like that. “Look. When it passes by the lights, it looks like it’s sparkling from the moisture. Diamonds in green smoke.”

Sanidine looks, and Gabbro smiles when their observation is rewarded with a soft gasp. “Oh, whoa. How’d you catch that past the glow?”

“Not sure. I feel like I used to see that kind of thing everywhere.” Gabbro admits. “It’s kind of nice to know it’s still there, sometimes.”

Impact. Water splashes against the field, high enough that it would knock the pair over if it weren’t for the ancient Nomai technology. As it recedes, the shelter disengages, flickering once before turning off entirely.

The two astronauts let the ring descend around them before stepping off the platform. Sanidine glances up at the lattice of stonework above them, wishing they’d had the presence of mind to look for the sun while they were in space. “Can’t be too much longer now. Think I’m starting to get a sense for it.”

Gabbro shakes their head. “I feel like I am too, but it’s like… dangling string in front of a tadpole. You pull it up and move it around so they don’t quite grab it easily, so it slips out of their fingers, right? Every time I think I’ve narrowed it down, it’s not quite right anymore.”

“We’ll time it. Next loop. Don’t let me forget.” Sanidine says. They fumble with the translator’s pouch, producing the unit and taking the Nomai recorder in their other hand. “Right. Don’t worry about the translator, the case is waterproofed.”

“Smart. Hal’s idea?” Gabbro grins.

“Hey, I can have smart ideas too.” Sanidine glances at their partner.

“But that one was absolutely not yours.” Gabbro says.

Sanidine grunts, aligning the lenses at the disc. “No. No it wasn’t.”

Phlox speaks first. His voice is gentle, but there’s a playfulness to it, or something that feels playful. He’s not as deep as Cassava, certainly. If anything, Sanidine rather thinks his voice reminds them of Gabbro’s mellow tenor.

Yarrow, would you kindly step back so Daz is closest to the statue? When pairing, the statue will choose whoever is in closest proximity.

The pair of Hearthians startle, then look at each other, eyes wide. There’s a shuffling noise on the recording, then a horribly familiar grinding noise.

...See how its eyes have opened? That tells us the statue has paired with Daz. Now, no matter where he is in this star system, Daz’s statue will record his memories and send them to the Ash Twin Project, Phlox continues, and there’s audible pride there, Gabbro is sure of it.

Now Yarrow speaks, and their voice has a huskiness to it, though it’s no less melodic than its fellows. It reminds the pair, a little bit, of Esker’s gentle confidence.

This is extraordinary sculpting work, Phlox!

Now Daz chimes in, and he’s a lighter, faster voice. The rapid alto accompaniment to Yarrow’s slower, darker voice. They fit well together, Sanidine thinks.

He has outdone himself again, hasn’t he? And now that we have our first successful pairing, we can test my memory storage prototype. Each statue will send a single Nomai’s memories to his or her own storage unit within Ash Twin.

Each storage unit will be equipped with a mask, the statue’s counterpart, which will be able to send those stored memories back to the corresponding Nomai, adds Phlox.

The recording ends, and the two stare at the device in Sanidine’s hand. A soft chirp from the younger astronaut’s signalscope indicates that it’s completed its intended audio transfer to the ship, though whether or not it worked is still going to be hard to say until next loop.

“Ash Twin.” Sanidine says, after a moment longer. “Masks, in an Ash Twin Project. That’s the thing that was telling the cannon to fire. They’re storing, what, us? Our memories? On Ash Twin, stars know where, and then they’re telling that cannon to rip itself apart too. Which means.”

Gabbro inhales sharply. “Which means this whole mess is tied to them looking for the Eye of the Universe.”

Sanidine sets the recording device down, then whirls to scan in the wall behind them, because it’s easier to keep moving than to let themself start thinking about the implication that their fate is tied to a millennia-old search that was ultimately fruitless.

Existential talk. Phlox, Daz, and Cassava, discussing whether or not sending memories back in time was the same as sending a person back in time. Sanidine and Gabbro grimace at the memory of the statue- or the mask- or, what, the Ash Twin Project?- viscerally pulling them back from the edge of the solar system, their bodies dying with them fully conscious inside before the purple glow consumed them. Ultimately, it sure feels like they’re the same ones waking up each time. Maybe that’s all that really matters.

Even Gabbro’s not really in the mood to linger on it. The pair fire their jetpacks to get down and head for the projection pool they could see from the center, Gabbro pausing long enough to take a picture of the mural they’re walking past.

Sanidine picks up the projection stone, looking it over. That’s definitely the Hourglass Twins. Without a word, they slot it into the wall’s reader and lift the translator again, Gabbro stepping into place at their side. Talking feels like it risks crying, or yelling, or anything other than keeping on moving.

Ramie, this time. A name Sanidine knows they’ve seen, but never heard from- back in the Meltwater District, they’re pretty sure. She’s talking about the masks she’s mounted in the Ash Twin Project, with Phlox providing insights from his perspective.

It’s comforting to know the statues will not pair until the project succeeds. Otherwise, I imagine the experience would be hard to endure!

Ideally, they’ll only need to activate once the project succeeds; as a safety measure, however, the statues will also activate in the event of equipment failure.

Sanidine’s breath catches in their throat, and they look at Gabbro.

“Did it, fail? Or succeed?” Sanidine asks, and Gabbro looks just as unsure as they feel. The true meaning of the question is simple: will we find an answer, chasing behind the Nomai and the Eye and their great works, or is their impossible memory machine just broken?

“I wish I knew.” Gabbro says, quietly. They lift the stone out, then turn to the projection pool.

Sanidine puts away the translator, then they both walk into the pool, hand in hand. Just as every other time, they slot the stone, feeling prepared by the other projections they’ve witnessed.

This time, they are not. They never could’ve been. As their vision tints with amber, they both gasp and stagger against each other.

The Ash Twin Project whirls above them, around them. The three illuminated masks on the walls watch their every move, and it’s impossible to know which one belongs to which of them, but the number sticks in Sanidine’s head. Why three? They wonder, staring down at the liquid metal of their bodies to try to steady their stomach.

Gabbro is focused on the stars. There is no place in this system that they know of with such a clear view of the stars, nowhere in the system where the sky would be so impossibly full by this point of the loop.

Sanidine groans, looking up to see what Gabbro’s focused on. “Oh, and I thought the disorientation training was bad. Hearth’s sake.”

“That’s what this reminds me of.” Gabbro mutters, clutching Sanidine’s hand tightly. “Gossan’s final part of suit training. The zero-g cave, when they’d take you in blindfolded, get you spinning, and then take off the blindfold and make you get yourself out.”

“Yeah. I had to pass it four times.” Sanidine grimaces. “You’re right. Don’t think I’d ever forget those walls.”

“Ours weren’t spinning like this, though.” Gabbro shakes their head.

“Ours didn’t have Nomai masks staring at you, either. Or that thing in the middle.” Sanidine says, finally addressing the biggest visible mystery in the room.

The Ash Twin Project’s core is massive, large enough to fit both Hearthians comfortably inside its casing. Cables run to it from the center points of the rotation, tendrils pulsing with blue light just like it’s any other Nomai machine.

As though just having those starlight-forsaken masks present isn’t proof enough that it’s so, so much more than that.

The overpowering hum of the projection pool gives way to something else. Transfixed, the two Hearthians stare at the overwhelming machine while their hearing is invaded by an ethereal wail. It sounds almost like the star itself is crying out, a dirge for the planets it so dutifully carried through space for its long, long life.

They both wonder if it’s the machinery, or something more. But they can’t bring themselves to move away from the pool, because the pseudo-melody of the maybe-song is too haunting. The pair hear the sun finally die as it comes to a close, Sanidine squeezing Gabbro’s hand tightly.

Shockwave impact against the outside of wherever-this-is. The interior of the Project doesn’t even react. The pair of them can hear the plasma boiling and writhing against the Project, and they watch, transfixed, as the cables leading into the core ignite with a brighter blue light than Sanidine has ever seen from the Nomai’s power cabling.

There’s a mechanical noise, a snap-hiss from the center, and Gabbro gasps. The project’s center bursts into Nothing, a black hole taller than either of the Hearthians blazing to life where it once was. Simultaneously, the lights of the three masks burn brighter.

Their bodies suddenly stop, an achingly familiar feeling. Sanidine and Gabbro both feel their heart stop beating with a detached kind of awareness. There’s no pain to it, just a grim understanding.

The violet light overwhelms the remains of their senses, claiming their conscious minds for the black hole’s maw and letting the two corpses fall to the ground in the projection pool, their original bodies completely incinerated not long after.

Not long after, empty of life and light, the universe ends.

Chapter Text

The very first thing Sanidine does, upon boarding their ship (in what they think must be record time, which is really quite impressive at this point) is start a timer on the ship’s computer. Even with everything else that happened in the end of the last loop, they refuse to let Gabbro need to remind them of that. Sure, Gabbro will ask anyway. But as much as they love Gabbro, they will not suffer an entire loop with the threat of hearing “If only we had a timer running”, even if it’s in a voice they can sink into as easily as drowning.

They fire up the ship one-handed, switching on the radio again as always, and they’re in the air before Slate has time to recall the elevator.

“Did you start the timer?” Gabbro asks, immediately.

“Yup.” Sanidine smiles. Knew it. “Should save to the ship’s log when the end hits, regardless of what happens to us.”

Gabbro snorts. “How uplifting. You doing okay?”

“I think I’m about as okay as either of us gets right now until we meet up.” Sanidine says, rubbing their face. “You?”

“About the same.” Gabbro sighs. “I didn’t expect it to get any easier, I guess.”

“Hey. Last loop had a few extra doses of crazy. We deserve to feel a little rattled.” Sanidine says. “Big Green behaving for you?”

Gabbro grunts, clambering over something on their end. “Well enough. Better than the times I wake up in orbit.”

“You never told me about those.” Sanidine frowns, pulling on their scarf as they go through the little rituals they’ve built up for the trip.

“Because it never seemed important.” Gabbro says. Sanidine can just about hear the shrug. “As long as I’m here when you get here, waking up in orbit isn’t so bad. Almost peaceful, really.”

“One day, I’m going to get there and you’ll have gotten yourself killed.” Sanidine sighs, picking out some food for the loop. “And when that happens, you know, I’ll get it. It’s Giant’s Deep. But I’m still going to be pretty mad at you for it for five minutes or so.”

“I suppose that’s only fair.” Gabbro agrees. “I’d do the same thing if you didn’t show up one loop.”

Sanidine shakes their head, opening their can of- what is this, anyway, they weren’t even looking, mushrooms? Fine, whatever- and glancing at the ship’s computer. “At this point if that ever happens, it’s because somehow I couldn’t get into the ship and take off. You’d be better off radioing Hornfels and being mad at them.”

“As though not seeing you wouldn’t be bad enough, you want me to talk to Hornfels too? I thought you loved me.” Gabbro says.

Sanidine can hear them grinning. They roll their lower eyes, stabbing a mushroom aggressively with the little fork that Porphy had included with their ration kits. “You could always tell them about the Ash Twin Project. See if they get any fun ideas about how that whole mess is working.”

“I could, but they wouldn’t believe me anyway.” Gabbro says. It’s not as flippant as either of them wants it to sound. One of the most important discoveries ever, one that’s fundamentally altered their entire being and robbed death of meaning. And not a soul will ever believe them if they can’t escape its grasp.

And if they escape before they find some way to prevent the oncoming end, then it doesn’t matter anyway, and everything they’ve ever known and loved will burn away without even ashes to mark its passing.

“Got any thoughts other than confusion?” Sanidine asks.

“A few. We saw the project, we know it’s working because we keep waking up. I don’t think there’s some kind of equipment failure.” Gabbro muses. “I think whatever this is, it’s doing what it’s supposed to do.”

“Shoot a probe in a random direction and send us back in time if the sun explodes. When it explodes.” Sanidine frowns. “To find the Eye of the Universe? But why would they need all of this?”

“I don’t know. What I’m more worried about is what it says that it’s happening alongside the supernova.” Gabbro says. “There’s no way that’s coincidence. But why would the Nomai be making plans for a supernova so far in their future? That’s assuming they even knew it’d happen in the first place.”

“Ugh.” Sanidine rubs their forehead. "We need more clues. And I want to get back to the Hanging City. Any better ideas?”

“Nope. I’ll be packed and ready.”

Sanidine smiles softly as Gabbro’s flute starts to filter through. The older astronaut must be preparing the medicine, which means they have their hands free again. They want to play with them, their eyes drifting over the harmonica in its box, but instead they simply go to browse the ship’s logs.

Someday, they’ll be brave enough to ask someone back home to teach them where to start. But for now, they can occupy themself. They feel a little thrill when they realize that the signalscope recording did, in fact, transfer successfully. A quick test, and it’s there- the melody of the Nomai voices fills the ship, and combined with Gabbro’s flute, Sanidine could just melt into the sound.

They’re starting to piece together words by the time the retrorockets fire. Nothing too concrete, and the sounds may well take them forever to really learn, but they’ve managed to isolate a name.

Daz. It was a short name, but the sound was satisfying, a quick note that Sanidine… sort-of managed. Hearthian throats were harsher than Nomai, it seemed. They’d practice it, maybe with Gabbro.

Speaking of, the flute had stopped. Sanidine’s heart skipped a beat as they pulled their helmet on, sliding into the seat. “Gabbro?”

“Sani, what in Hearth’s name was that noise?” Gabbro asks, and Sanidine can hear them grinning.

Ah. Their cheeks flush purple as they guide the ship into the clouds. For all they’re embarrassed at Gabbro having been paying attention for that, they don’t even entertain the thought of lying. “I, was. Trying to mimic something I heard in the Nomai recording? Daz’s name.”

“Oh. Really?” Gabbro considers this. “I wasn’t sure what it was. But if you’re getting started on that already, count me in, okay?”

“We might want to start with written.” Sanidine admits. “I was just, uh, overenthusiastic.”

Gabbro chuckles. “Written it is. We’ll work on it on the way to the Hanging City.”

Sanidine barely has time to finish landing before Gabbro’s aboard. Kiss each other, because it makes them both feel a little less like the dead Nomai they’re following the traces of around the system. Take the medicine, eat the mallow, burn for Brittle Hollow.

Then, for the first time, they start to study the Nomai language as a team. The translator tool has given them a lifeline, and Sanidine could never imagine replacing it entirely, but during their work with Hal the only reason neither of them could commit to learning the script manually was a lack of time.

There was no such shortage now, and they gained more samples of Nomai text every time they translated something. The database within the ship’s computer grows every loop, and with it their resources. Gabbro’s no linguist, and it was usually Hal’s purview instead of Sanidine’s, but they know enough of the rules to begin studying.

Sanidine considers that they should probably figure out a way to automatically reference stored recordings, so that they can start building up their understanding of the verbal components of each symbol. Later, though. They’re a good enough programmer to have worked on the translator’s internal logic, but they’re far from an expert. Still, the ship’s computer won’t forget their efforts.

They have so much time. So much. They can leave that for later, because right now, sitting beside Gabbro with their suits off and going over the basic rules of Nomai grammar, they feel that starry fire in their veins again, the dead Sanidine’s love of the Nomai still burning in the person wearing their face.

It’s the learning they still feel like they were born to do, at their fingertips. An unexpected but incredibly patient and intelligent companion to do it with. Unlimited time, or at the least unlimited enough that they’ve given up on breaking things into units larger than the time loop. It almost feels too good to be true, if they can just stop thinking about the destruction that haunts them at the end of each cycle.

They linger in orbit for a moment to finish out the words for ‘is/are’. Or, perhaps, it’s to stay pressed close to each other a little bit longer before they don their spacesuits once more. Neither one cares to interrogate it too deeply.

It takes very little time from there before they’re walking into the Meltwater District again.

“Next time, I want to just jump down.” Sanidine says, pointedly staring up at the processing unit to avoid looking at the skeletons around them. The chill air against their face feels refreshing. They missed it while they were away, they realized. It wasn’t quite like home, but it was starting to feel comforting, as though the city existed in a bubble that they had to choose to breach.

“No.” Gabbro bumps elbows with their partner. They’re moving onto the catwalks together again, taking in the area. So many individual workshops to visit and pore over. The different units around the sides. The maintenance walkways that disappear into the ice.

“We could, though. Just make sure to land in a clear spot.” Sanidine twirls around in front of Gabbro, walking backward to look at their love’s face. They’re both grinning, at least.

“You are just asking for one or both of us to break something, and then what? No hammock, no campfire, just us waiting out the loop again?” Gabbro huffs through their nose, crossing their arms. “The only good campsite around here is already being used, and I think we both need at least a few more loops before we talk to another Hearthian about anything, much less telling Riebeck one of us got hurt. Again.”

“Okay, okay, you made your point.” Sanidine sighs. “You’re right. I’m not ready for that, either.”

Nor, they think, are they ready to indulge that little voice at the back of their mind. The one that whispers about how easy it’d be to just bypass any injury, and wake up back on Timber Hearth again. Sanidine isn’t quite to that point of detachment, and they dearly hope they don’t wind up there anytime soon.

Gabbro shakes their head. “Sorry, time buddy. I want to. I want to run and dance in the air with you again, like that first time, like nothing matters outside of this city and us and the Nomai. And we will. But let’s take a couple of loops to get our footing again before we risk being confronted by someone, for both our sakes.”

“Yeah.” Sanidine smiles faintly, turning back around to decide on a destination. “Heh. You make it sound a little bit poetic. Kinda makes me remember a ghost on a beach saying something about how they didn’t want to owe their life to an artist. And now here we are.”

“I hope they wouldn’t mind too much.” Gabbro smiles as well, priming their jetpack.

Sanidine hesitates, but their small smile refuses to fade. “I don’t remember too much about them anymore. But I think they wouldn’t. I think they’d just be glad they weren’t alone.”

“Yeah.” Gabbro says, as the pair start toward the closest workshop on the right. “I think the artist would feel the same way, if I could put enough of them together to ask.”

They boost over a gap in the walkway and keep walking. Sanidine’s mouth quirks. “I don’t regret letting go. I mean, I regret having to, but if we hadn’t, I… I don’t know what we’d be now, but it wouldn’t be anything good.”

“Not this.” Gabbro observes, solemnly. The thought claws at them both with talons made of dread. “Not, us. This thing that we are now. In love, time buddies, partners. That’s all I need to know that we made the right choice, even if we could go back to being those people.”

Sanidine nods. Their smile shifts, ever so slightly melancholy. “I don’t want to imagine even trying. I just hope, when we’re back out of all this, we can at least remember them better. The little details that feel all thin now, instead of just the big things.”

“Me too, partner. Me too.” Gabbro says. Their smile, like Sanidine’s, is soft and a little sad.

The pair duck into the first Nomai workshop in the district, eager to get back to exploring and get their minds off of the people they were supposed to be.

Chapter Text

The workshops of the Meltwater District are densely packed affairs. In part, this is due to the work tables, whether they be covered in fabrication equipment, testing units, or- in the middle of this first one that the pair enter- simply in now-empty trays and bowls, surrounded by Nomai who will never finish their meal.

But in part, they find, it’s the storage that takes up a solid quarter of the building. Racks upon racks of preserved scrolls and recordings, sealed behind fields reminiscent of Giant’s Deep’s tornado shelters. The work of lifetimes, stored and then forgotten.

Sanidine’s hands trace over the edges of the shelves, their breath catching in their throat. Stored, forgotten, and found once again, by the only two people still alive who can truly save them from being lost forever. In just this one building, there are years worth of memories. Decades, possibly.

All the time in the universe, and so much to see.

And so they begin to see it. Names, logs, experiments, conversations, all of it. They sit in the workshop among the bones just reading and crying over what’s lost and laughing at the dry wit so characteristic of the Nomai, sharing the burden of knowing until the plasma claims them.

The universe ends. Sanidine inhales.

They spring back to their feet, feeling absolutely giddy, and rush back to the ship with their heart pounding. They launch without hesitating, navigate for Giant’s Deep, and switch on the radio.

“Still ready for more?” They ask as they start to suit up, and Gabbro’s laughter rings through the ship.

“Check that timer first, Sani.”

Sanidine glances at the computer, turns back to the front. “Fourteen hours. And-”

They glance back and pause. “Gabbro, the computer’s broken.”

“Uh, it better not be?” Gabbro says, and the playfulness in their tone is gone.

“Sure. But it says sixteen hours now. Sixteen twelve thirty two. I’ll reset the display.” Sanidine taps the screen. Closes the timer, reopens it. “Thirteen hours five seconds?”

“Please tell me you didn’t break the ship’s computer trying to set a timer.”

“No, I. I don’t get this.” Sanidine frowns, flipping through the rest of the computer’s functions. “Everything else is working just fine. That reading, specifically, just won’t stay consistent.”

Gabbro breathes in. Breathes out. Sanidine can hear it, and they lean down, watching the blue glow of Nomai technology underneath the ship’s display. The computer is their lifeline, the one device in the entire universe that will remember if they write something down or take a picture or scan a translation. Losing it to a malfunction means losing everything they can’t memorize themselves. It’s small wonder Gabbro’s struggling to stay calm, because Sanidine is too.

They’re no engineer, and even if they were, Hornfels’ computer design somehow incorporates Nomai technology. They’d helped build the translator, yes, but that came with the caveat of Hal’s help, and it’s significantly less complex than the ship’s computer to begin with. There may be no greater expert on the Nomai in the solar system than themself and Gabbro, but they’re hardly qualified to figure out what in the stars Hornfels has wired into the thing.

Although. Huh. They can kind of make it out, actually, up in the casing where the storage drive should be. That stone is entirely too familiar, and the blue lights of the cables pulse to it and disappear. But it can’t be, can it?

“Hey, new question.” Sanidine says. “Did you bring Hornfels any other pieces of the stone they caved the statues out of?”

“What? No.”

“There’s a chunk of it in our computer, wired up where the storage should be.” Sanidine stands again, checking the timer as though it may decide to suddenly behave. Twelve hours fifteen minutes three seconds. They grimace at it in irritation, as though that will somehow make it behave.

“How big?” Gabbro asks, after a moment.

“Maybe half the size of my hand? It’s thin. Hard to see the exact size with it in the casing.” Sanidine sighs, rubbing their face. Looks back at the computer. Eighteen hours flat. “I need to stop looking at this stupid timer, Gabbro. It’s going to make me lose it even more than I already have.”

Gabbro sighs audibly. “Alright. You’re sure everything else is working?”

“Everything. Even the stored audio recordings.” Sanidine contemplates the screen one more time, then goes to finish pulling on their suit. “I really did want to know how long these loops lasted, though.”

“I’ll take a look when you get here.” Gabbro grunts, their jetpack flaring in the background. “Not that I’ve ever had a clue how any of it is put together, but maybe the timer will behave for me.”

Sanidine snorts, tying their scarf around their neck. “What, you and not me?”

“I’m not the one who’s crashed it multiple times. It might like me more.” Gabbro says, and they’re grinning again, Sanidine can tell.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to try to turn our ship against me.” Sanidine grins now, grabbing a tin of pickled fish. “I’m gonna wake up one of these loops and it’ll have gone to hang out with you on Giant’s Deep, if you do that. I don’t stand a chance against your charm.”

“Maybe. So far you’re the only person who seems to think I’m charming.”

“Doesn’t matter if I’m the only one. I’m right. People’d probably see it more if they didn’t have to duck around Big Green’s jealousy to meet with you, though.”

The back and forth is comfortable, and the trip faster for it. It feels like no time at all before Gabbro's aboard, and they're burning away from Giant's Deep together.

While Sanidine deals with their medicine in the cockpit, Gabbro starts poking at the computer. As they’d said, they’re no engineer. The things they know academically are far less grounded in the realm of electronics and Nomai relics. But, well, if that timer isn’t doing something extremely within their specific strange niche then they’ll eat Riebeck’s hat.

Not that they understood how it happened, because really, it should’ve been impossible. They knew how the Quantum Grove worked, in practical terms, and if anyone cared enough to ask they could start to explain the principles. They’d done that with Chert, once, and Chert had gotten lost early on once they’d started to explain Schist’s equations. Chert, as with most people, strongly preferred that their math be a little more based in real numbers.

They also did not appreciate Schist’s theoretical experiment involving a cave salamander and a box. Most people didn’t. Gabbro brought it up anyway because it was important to understanding the science that was being done by other Hearthians, ones outside the crater.

All of this because they’d taken an interest in a weird math book as a very young hatchling, before other people not understanding the ideas it gave them once they were a bit older pushed them to stop talking about it so much and instead share their art. They really couldn’t blame people for not getting it, they supposed. Maybe, with all the time they had, they’d try to teach Sanidine some of it.

The thought of their unexpected love’s face at the idea brings them back to the moment. The timer is almost behaving as though it itself is obeying those highly theoretical rules that governed the trees and shards of Gabbro’s grove, and that is impossible, because if the timer’s quantum but the rest of the computer isn’t then everything’s gone extremely funny.

They store the result, then start another timer. Experiment time. Whether or not their fellow astronauts believe it, they do sometimes carry out real scientific work, when things line up just right.

With that done, they crouch down and peer under the casing. They’re already pretty sure what they’re going to see, but they have to see it with their own four eyes to process what it might mean.

There it is. The stone is the exact same shape and size as it had been when Gabbro had, with loud cursing, chipped it off of the statue as they loaded it into their ship. Chipped it off of Sanidine’s statue. They’ve been trying not to consider what that might mean for Sanidine, whether that will somehow artificially limit the number of loops they could remember, because it ultimately doesn’t matter. They’re in this with the statues that had snared them whether they like it or not, and all they can do is keep moving forward.

They quietly consider that Hornfels is both crazier and more inventive than they’d wanted to give their elder credit for. The shard is wired into the computer’s storage unit, and other than power, it seems to be hooked into other parts of the ship as well. Sanidine will know what those connections mean, and they decide to ask later.

Sanidine puts a hand on their shoulder, and they breathe deep. They didn’t realize how tense they’d been getting, based on how tight the breath feels, and they get up to look at their partner’s face.

“Just once,” Gabbro says, “Just once, it’d be nice if we got answers that didn’t lead to more questions. I really do get it when it’s something on a cosmic scale, or something about the Nomai, but is it too much to ask that our own equipment behaves in a way we understand?”

They sound angrier than they feel. Mostly, they’re just worried, and they hope Sanidine knows them enough to tell the difference by now.

Sanidine, of course, knows Gabbro’s tone and feelings better than they know their own at this point. They offer their partner a hug, and Gabbro takes it because they’ve forgotten how to turn away from Sanidine’s embrace, and the pair wind up holding each other and drifting over to the wall next to the system map.

“Is it bad?” Sanidine asks, quietly. They’re not sure they really want to know, but they can’t reject knowing, whatever the answer. It would be impossible to not know, if Gabbro has to. They can’t let their partner bear even that much alone.

They’re still relieved when Gabbro shakes their head. “I don’t think so, but I don’t really know what it means. The timer’s acting like it’s quantum.”

Sanidine’s ears twitch. “I don’t really get what that is yet. You said it was how you explained the trees in your grove, or the rock at the museum, but it’s still kind of, uh, vague?”

Gabbro snorts. “It’s kind of like, okay. Something that’s quantum exists in all possible states that it could be in at once. Right? But if a conscious observer- emphasis on conscious- is observing the object in question, all those possibilities collapse into the one that’s being observed.”

“This is the theory that Hornfels hates so much?” Sanidine frowns.

“Mm. It’s more complicated than that, obviously, but that’s the basic explanation.” Gabbro says. “So, every time we observe the time recording, it’s in a different state. And that doesn’t make a single bit of sense, honestly, because it was already supposed to be pretty much impossible for the rocks and trees to behave that way. And maybe the computer’s just weird, and this has nothing to do with quantum mechanics. Not sure if that’s better, though.”

“Well.” Sanidine says. “At least it’s not broken? I mean, not really?”

“Yeah. Timer’s got some kind of weird quantum tantrum, but as long as the logs are behaving, then we’re not in any worse of a situation than we were.” Gabbro agrees. “Study time, then?”

“Study time.” Sanidine says. They turn to the computer, pause, then turn back to Gabbro. “Hold on. Almost forgot something.”

Gabbro’s about to ask when Sanidine presses a kiss to their lips, and they fall into each other’s gravity in the corner of the ship, letting the electricity of each other’s touch run through them and quicken their heartbeats once again.

No matter how many loops go by, they’re not sure this will ever stop feeling so raw and exciting.

And then they sit down to study once again, the Nomai languages opening up before them. As they go, Sanidine starts tweaking the translation tool, replacing a rough estimate here and there with something more accurate.

They try not to feel guilty about it, as they sync the translator’s software to the ship computer. They wish they could be doing this with Hal and Gabbro. Modifying the translator’s software without the friend they’d built it with feels like a betrayal, even if they know it isn’t. They’ll have to make it up to Hal somehow. Take them and Riebeck to the Hanging City, once everything is done, and really teach them who the Nomai were.

The thought and Gabbro’s voice are nice enough that they sink back into the moment, and the two time travelers spend the rest of the trip to Brittle Hollow reciting words and meanings and nonsense sentences to each other, trying to make each other laugh by typing ridiculous phrases into the ship’s computer as practice.

The most important word they learn for the purposes of cracking each other up turns out to be ‘hypothesis’.

Chapter Text

The Hanging City starts to feel a little less like a tomb every time they arrive to it. Never a living place, not really, but a place that no longer rejects the living in favor of the dead. It simply is, and they are. At one point Gabbro muses, aloud, that they belong here along with all the other remains of things that were once alive, and Sanidine laughs at that and agrees.

Neither Sanidine nor Gabbro considers the implications. They can’t let themselves. They cling to the stability of the city and its silence with a fervent desperation.

It takes them another full loop and a half to finish combing over the first workshop, and while so many of these logs and conversations regard the technical details of the city’s water purification system, they refuse to miss a single word. Names get added to a list, a morbid roll call that both of them work to maintain. Nypa, Colura, Nepenth, Nymphaea, Ochro, Caul, on and on and on.

Those who lived and worked here. Those who, by all likelihood, died here, their bones still seated at their tables. It becomes a promise to remember them. Whatever fate awaits their remains once the time loop ends, the Hearthians will remember that they traded jokes and barbs over their passionate designs and experiments, had meal preferences, had fights.

And, stars or void, they will make sure others remember too. It’s the only thing they can do, a courtesy between the forgotten.

The next loop, they relax in their own way. They lay together on the floor of the cabin, they trap each other as much as the sun traps their souls. As breathless as they both are within Brittle Hollow, here they are quiet, Sanidine’s head on Gabbro’s chest. The smaller astronaut listens to their universe’s heart beating, and the taller feels their universe breathing, and they rest, though neither is brave enough to fall asleep even when it tugs at their minds. They don’t bother to look up when the sun explodes this time, because it simply doesn’t matter compared to simply being with each other.

Time that doesn’t fit neatly between the bookends of the loops falls away.

Between Giant’s Deep and Brittle Hollow, they study fervently. The next workshop awaits when they arrive. Another seven names, another set of concepts and ideas and lives. Wake up, get Gabbro, study, learn, die. The structure of the routine is more welcome than either of them expected it would be, as morbid as it is. This workshop was focused on filtration methods. A Nomai named Lysi oversaw the small team, when they still drew breath.

Both explorers can’t help the little thrill of pride at the revelation that Lysi had greatly envied the purity of Timber Hearth’s geyser water. Sanidine laughs at the dense scrolls left by team members named Pystia and Euryale, but they can’t help but enjoy reading their rambling, meandering conversations. It all makes the seven skeletons they share the room with feel a little more real.

They see their deaths three more times before they finish cataloging everything.

Another breather. They chase each other across the surface of Brittle Hollow, abusing its lower gravity to great effect, dancing between meteors halfway out of the gravity well and laughing, sliding across the ice and spinning each other and accepting, for one more precious loop, the absurdity of their terrible immortality. When Sanidine’s body protests the continued exertion they get back into the ship and fly away from the planet toward the rough orbit of Giant’s Deep. They embrace, bathed in the shifting light of the star’s dying moments. They welcome its final breath without fearing it, sitting together on the ship’s hull in their suits, just close enough for the plasma to take them.

Wake up.

Sanidine wonders what Slate would think of what they’ve been doing. If they knew how to say anything to the Venture’s shipwright now that wouldn’t sound like reason to ground them, they would tell them what an incredible thrill it is to pilot the best ship Hearthian hands ever made. They would tell them the joy of the engines roaring, the grace of its precise thrusters, the way its floorboards smelled like the forests. They would try to tell Slate that the ship had become so much more than just a ship to the two most desperate astronauts in the universe.

They say nothing. They fly to Giant’s Deep and wonder if they’ll ever know how to say those things to Slate, because despite finding a form of peace over the last few loops with Gabbro, it’s a peace that can only exist because of Gabbro, and because of the time loops.

Next workshop.

Sanidine and Gabbro have gotten accustomed to leaving their helmets off in the city. Given its apparent lack of dangers, they’ve also gotten accustomed to leaving their earpieces off. Less risk of Riebeck picking them up if they simply aren’t using their radios whatsoever, after all.

They’re on their way into the next workshop when an awful wailing noise splits the air, and Gabbro jumps out of their skin.

Sanidine, having taken the lead and thus triggered the awful trap left by an uncaring universe, lets out a strangled noise. They then collapse into the field of suddenly alarmingly visible ghost matter and completely disintegrate save their suit and bones.

Oh. Gabbro sucks air through their teeth. Well, they’ve never really wanted to know what this feels like, but like hell are they sitting down to think about what they’ve just watched happen. They throw themselves forward, the world goes incredibly painful and their stomach exists just long enough to churn and-

Die. Wake up.

Sanidine groans as they sit up. It’s been a while since they died outside of the end of the loop, and they’d almost forgotten how it feels. They miss that ignorance, in the moment, phantom pain running through the entire lower half of their body.

Ow.

They never have asked Tektite about their injury, because, they still reason, it isn’t their business. Hornfels’ warning signs always claim that ghost matter burns you. Sanidine now knows that’s not remotely true, or at least, not in the way Hornfels describes it.

There’s nothing warm about Ghost Matter. It’s cold, colder than Brittle Hollow’s glacier, colder than the depths of space out by the White Hole Station. It’s cold enough to burn you, yes, but the pain is every bit as fleeting as the supernova, and then there’s a sickening kind of nothing left behind. It’s just Sanidine’s luck that, despite the ghost matter catching their lower torso and below, their brain was intact enough to recognize exactly how awful that lack of sensation actually feels.

Stars, they hope Gabbro didn’t wait around, and they don’t think about how recently it really was that the idea of anyone- especially Gabbro- simply accepting a faster end to the loop was quietly horrifying. They hope Gabbro didn’t see much of the process, too, for what little they really understood of it. They stumble to their feet and head for their ship, trying to ignore the lingering pinpricks in their scales.

Into the air, through the clouds, and off to Giant’s Deep.

“Gabbro?” They ask, once the ship is well and truly on its way.

“There you are.” Gabbro replies. “You good?”

“Of course. I went first, I didn’t have to see it. You?”

“Not my favorite trip to the city. At least that stuff is quick. Easy to follow you into.” Gabbro sighs heavily. “You know, I really hoped we wouldn’t have to deal with it?”

“Yeah.” Sanidine pauses. “Sorry, um. Earpieces next time. So Hornfels’ detector can actually do its work.”

“And it was so nice not having to wear them.” Gabbro muses. “I’ll dig up the scout launcher I have around here somewhere, if I have time. It can’t hurt to have two of them.”

“You know, given we’re not doing anything that requires my helmet for very long, you could just leave the medicine-” Sanidine tries to say.

“And if we wound up at the White Hole Station?” Gabbro asks, flatly. Ah. They’ve thought about this, probably more than is healthy. No point trying to argue against the logic, either, because even in a place as dense as the Hanging City there’s plenty of opportunities to fall through into the black hole.

Damn.

The flight back to Brittle Hollow is less focused than normal, as the pair check their two scout launchers and adjust propulsion settings. They discuss whether or not they’ll need to wear their helmets again, though neither of them particularly wants to. The chill of the Hanging City helps bring things into focus for Sanidine, and Gabbro starts each loop wearing a helmet and has been relishing being able to remove the damn thing so reliably.

They decide to simply trust the earpieces. The helmets won’t tell them anything the scout launcher and the earpieces can’t.

This time, they stop a respectable distance from the doorway as soon as they hear the alert chirps in their ear. It’s indistinct. The earpiece would make the same noise for a fire as it would for ghost matter. It’s still enough to get them to check the area, which should be enough. They fire their scouts in one by one, and that aurora-fire glow ignites through the whole room. They’re safe from it, for now. Still, Sanidine’s ears fold back and their heart sinks at the sight within.

The skeletons are riddled with crystals. Many of them appear to have grown onto the bones, and they both dearly hope that it happened after the Ghost Matter had done its awful work, especially upon sighting the one which has had a crystal displace its jaw entirely from within. Worse yet, there are crystals coating one of the still-intact archive cabinets, and both Hearthians tense at the sight.

Bad enough that the death-substance desecrated their remains. Worse that it also desecrates the memory of their passions, locks what remains of their lives away from view like a trapped lid on a casket. Ghost matter is famously not particularly destructive to anything that isn’t organic (which, of course, has its own horrifying implications) but it’s certainly good at keeping organic things away, as they’ve both now experienced.

Gabbro makes a note of the workstation’s position using Sanidine’s signalscope, and it’s dutifully sent to the ship’s computer.

They’ll come back when they have a plan. Maybe the Nomai had some way to remove ghost matter where it appeared in their time, they figure. Maybe they’ll learn something elsewhere. There’s a whole tunnel of it on Gabbro’s Island to experiment with, once they have something to test.

Nothing but time. They’ll come back. They have to, because they’re too tied to the city’s past to do anything else.

They choose a different workshop, and get back to the routine, as though this death too is nothing more than a momentary distraction. The astronauts for whom such a quick end was anything more than that are buried in the cold embrace of futures that never happened.

They select a workshop out near the ice this time. There are only three left at this point, not that they’re in any hurry to move on from the Meltwater District’s high-slung catwalks.

This workshop, dedicated to the preservation of the ice around them and the natural environment of Brittle Hollow’s glaciers. Sanidine smiles at the care put into protecting even a planet as barren as this. Salix, the leader of the team here. Erioph, a fiery young graduate with big ideas. Papaver, a worrier with a high and sharp laugh.

Ramie, an honored guest from Ember Twin, giving them advice on energy conservation. The same name that they’ve seen before. The one from the Ash Twin Project.

The Hearthians look at the assembled skeletons and wonder if one of them had a hand in their current state.

Two more loops of this. Wake up, get Gabbro, study, learn, die. The drumbeat of their lives repeating across the stars, mingling with the echoes of the Nomai they surround themselves with.

Third loop for that workshop.

Wake up.

Head to the launch tower.

Get to the to-

Sanidine’s comfortable rhythm is thrown into sudden disarray as the launchpad disintegrates underneath them, a stars-forsaken crack-boom accompanying its demise. Their ship plummets as freely as they do, their hand grasping for its safety but never quite making it to the gravity beam.

They hit a tree with a sharp crack, drop again with the pine branch that broke their momentum. The world is uncomfortably spinning and their vision is blurry and they can’t quite catch their breath, and they’re still falling.

They land with a heavy thud right back beside the campfire, positioned just right to watch as their ship tumbles to the ground helplessly. They try to reach for it again, ignoring the scream of their nerves, the sound of voices. They have to, they have to at least tell Gabbro they can’t get to them, this isn’t right.

Then the ship explodes, and some part of it flies directly at them, and-

Chapter Text

Gabbro has gotten into the habit of leaving the Outer Wilds Ventures radio frequency running, more as a timer than as anything else. They can tune it out well enough by now, and the messages mark the passage of time more reliably than they personally can while they wait for Sanidine’s voice to come over their helmet’s speaker. Though, usually, it comes sooner than this. Maybe they actually figured out their words enough to say something to Slate this loop.

They stiffen suddenly, halfway through collecting the first of the ingredients for Sanidine’s medicine, when the frequently lights up with unexpected chatter. Yelling. Yelling is definitely new. They initially think Sanidine did something before they hear Slate’s panic about the launch tower blowing apart. Something about Esker having traced something traveling from Giant’s Deep toward Timber Hearth so fast they hadn’t been able to get the word out.

Their hand is already halfway to their helmet’s mic switch when they hear a muffled explosion, and their blood turns to ice.

“Where’s Sanidine?!” Gabbro blurts, too loud, too panicked.

“Gabbro?” Hornfels asks.

“I’ve got them,” Slate says, firmly. They’re shaken, Gabbro can tell, but they’re putting up a pretty good show of not being shaken. “They’re hurt bad, but breathing. Gossan! That you? I need a hand here!”

Gabbro almost wishes they were just outright dead. That tunnel of ghost matter would be so convenient then. They could wake up, wait for the radio, and talk about what happened and that would, admittedly, still be bad but at least then they wouldn’t be trapped on Giant’s Deep while Sanidine is bleeding on Timber Hearth.

“I need,” Gabbro’s voice falters. They need help. They need a ship, void take them. They need to reach Timber Hearth. They switch frequency to a direct line, looking up at the clouds. Their voice doesn’t want to work. They force it to, but it’s impossible to hide the desperate strain in their words. “Chert. Chert, can you hear me?”

“Gabbro?” Instant reply. It’s a bit crackly due to their proximity to the sun, but there’s no hesitation there. Chert isn’t the type to ignore the way their friend’s voice sounds in that moment.

“I need your help.” Gabbro says. “My ship’s missing. I need you to take me home. The new astronaut, you heard on the Ventures frequency, some kind of accident?”

A pause. Gabbro bites back their anxious feelings of impatience, the urge to beg for help, all of it.

“I was going to come back to help anyway,” Chert says, finally. “I’ll pick you up on the way.”

“I’ll be ready, buddy.” Gabbro says, and their chest finally lets them breathe again. “Thank you.”

Despite Chert’s calm assurance, despite switching the Ventures frequency off so as not to hear the coordination of the cleanup effort, the wait is agonizing. Gabbro halfheartedly plays their flute, staring at a tornado in the distance, leaning on a tree. They’ve been thrown three times by the time their shock starts to give way enough to think, and reflex has guided them to safely each time. It’s an unusually violent loop in so many ways.

Something from Giant’s Deep. They consider the implications. The probe cannon is the obvious choice, and from what they remember of the displays within it, it selects a random firing angle each loop. If that’s truly random, there’s every chance that it could launch the probe at one of the planets.

To fire it at Timber Hearth at just the right angle to annihilate the launch tower?

Yeah, Gabbro supposes, the two of them really are that unlucky.

Maybe if Sanidine’s injuries aren’t that bad, they can look at whatever it is that impacted. Supposing there’s anything left to see. Supposing they can do that much instead of trying to simply flee offworld using one of the remaining ships.

Or maybe, if they’re desperate, there’s one of those warp pads on Timber Hearth out near one of the Nomai ruins. Gabbro doesn’t quite exactly know where, but Sanidine will, beyond any doubt. If only they’d gone back to the ruins they arrived at from the White Hole Station sooner, they might understand how to use the thing.

They take a deep breath, then continue to play. That’s for worrying about later, once they’ve reunited. Timber Hearth is the last place in the universe either of them wants to be, and Sanidine is there alone and hurt, and fixing that is the priority before getting fixated on getting away again. Focus on the flute, as fragile as it feels in their fingers.

Their mind is too anxious to properly slip away, as usual, but they manage to stop thinking so damn much until they’re interrupted by their radio once more.

“I’m coming in, Gabbro. Is there a clear landing site?” Chert asks.

Gabbro has been expecting this call at some point and they still jump about a foot into the air- an impressive feat with the gravity on Giant’s Deep. Damn. Another deep breath to recenter, or at least sound a little less panicked when they speak. “Follow my signal down, try to land on the beach side. The winds are bad this season, but what you really want to watch out for is the gravity. One thing to hear about it and another to experience it.”

“Understood.”

Gabbro pushes off their tree, sliding their flute back into their pack. It feels wrong to hear the sound of engines and not see Sanidine’s ship breaking through the cloud cover. The engines are older, their fiery roar less full-throated. They’re controlled far more delicately. Even when Sanidine’s hands aren’t shaking, their thruster control is decisive, the ship’s movements nimble but not delicate.

It all itches at Gabbro’s mind in an aggravating way. They walk to meet Chert’s ship, leaving the entire rest of their camp behind.

It’ll be there when they get back, one way or another.

They swing under Chert’s vessel as they’ve gotten so used to doing with Sanidine’s, just as it prepares to touch down, and as their head crests the hatch they hear a startled yell, which makes them yell too.

“What are you doing do you want to get incinerated or crushed?!”

Chert’s nearly out of the pilot’s seat staring at them like they’ve lost their mind, and it takes Gabbro’s brain a full five seconds to catch up to the problem, just long enough that they start to numbly say “It’d be fine in-”

Chert doesn’t know how little it matters. From Chert’s perspective, Gabbro realizes, they just nearly killed themself using Chert’s piloting.

And now they’ve started to say the worst possible thing they could. When was the last time they saw Chert without their helmet? They can’t really remember, but they wish this wasn’t how they’d come face to face again, because Chert is staring straight at them with a look somewhere between horror and deep concern.

They’re glad they haven’t yet removed their own helmet. They’re not sure what Chert will see, and Chert’s eyes are darting between Gabbro’s hands, their shoulders, their helmet. Any clue. Any sign as to what’s wrong, because now something clearly is.

“I’m just in a hurry to get back.” Gabbro says, and that, at least, is not a lie. They lean on the wall, grasping one of the rungs leading into the side observation canopy. “We should hurry, Chert. That all sounded bad, and I’m worried about Sani being there without m-” shit- “-ore support.”

Chert’s eyes are piercing, and Gabbro fights every instinct they have to stand still. They want to rush forward and grab the controls and throw the ship into the sky, but they won’t do that to Chert.

They aren’t sure when a ‘yet’ became a part of that. They don’t want to think about the fact that, if it came down to it, they’d probably choose rushing to Sanidine over every single member of the Venture’s comfort and do it without hesitation.

It’s not to that point yet. Chert relents and sits back down without a word. There was once a time that Gabbro would’ve said Chert was the best pilot in the program, and they still hold them in high regard.

Maybe that’s why the liftoff is so smooth. Or maybe it’s because Chert’s ship doesn’t have a gravity crystal, and so Chert has to fly more carefully. Maybe, once all of this is over, Gabbro and Sanidine can help Slate install improvements to the rest of the ships. At least Slate isn’t likely to pry into things.

“I didn’t realize you cared about them so much.” Chert says, as they clear the atmosphere. Their tone is gentle, but questioning.

Gabbro’s hands clench. “Yeah, of course you didn’t.” They say, before they can stop themself. Immediately stabbed by guilt, they look away, not prepared to see the hurt on their friend’s face.

Nobody will realize it. It’s impossible for any of them to. And yet it hurts all the same, because they care so much now. Before, they were never close enough for Gabbro to care this much. Gabbro hasn’t ever cared so much about anyone in the open. They try not to think about the way Riebeck looked at them, strangers using stolen bodies expressing unfamiliar feelings.

Chert hits the autopilot switch, then gets up to face Gabbro. “You’re acting strangely. I haven’t heard you snap at me like that in years, and you and Sanidine barely know each other. Did you hit your head or something?”

“No.” Gabbro says. “I don’t- I’m fine, Chert. I’m sorry I snapped.”

“You are not fine.” Chert says, and there’s a sharp edge to it that Gabbro tries to ignore. “You would never voluntarily fly back to clean up a mess like this. You sounded far more panicked over Sanidine’s health on the radio than I’ve ever heard you sound about anything. You acted suicidally reckless around active rocket engines, you keep saying things that don’t make sense, and I’m supposed to believe you’re fine? That might get Hornfels or Riebeck off your back, but I’m your friend, and I know what ‘fine’ Gabbro sounds and acts like, and it is not. This.”

The way Chert emphasizes those final words makes Gabbro flinch. They cross their arms, refusing to meet their friend’s eyes. “I just want to get to Timber Hearth, Chert. I don’t want to talk about this.”

“You want to get to Timber Hearth? Or you want to get to Sanidine?” Chert asks, narrowing their eyes. “I don’t understand this, Gabbro, but I want to.”

“No. You don’t.” Gabbro says, a little too severely. Their tone threatens to cut them both. “You can’t, not right now, don’t try. Just get me there.”

The brief pause is deafening. Gabbro takes a shuddering breath. They squeeze their elbows tight in their hands, and the severity drops out of their voice, revealing the fear and exhaustion in their heart. “Please.”

Chert stares at Gabbro. Nothing about this is correct. Gabbro isn’t harsh like this. They aren’t tired like this. They spoke two days ago, and Gabbro didn’t even mention Sanidine. They were their typical self, downright jovial, breezy, odd but friendly enough.

They aren’t sure what to think of the impostor in Gabbro’s skin. It’s abundantly clear that something has happened to Gabbro, something on a level deeper than just an injury, but for the life of them Chert can’t figure out what it might be. It’s a little bit terrifying, to have their understanding fail them like this, to be forced to hear that tone in their friend’s voice. It’s worse that Gabbro is telling them- them- that they can’t understand what happened.

They try to bite back that fear. Gabbro needs them to. As upsetting as it is to feel useless in the face of that pain, Chert has to keep themself together. Once they’re on Timber Hearth, Gabbro can be medically evaluated, and whatever’s going on will be brought to light.

Gabbro might be unhappy about it, but that’s too bad, because Chert isn’t letting this go. They pull themself back to the seat and strap in again, silently.

Even in the quiet, they almost miss the breathy “Thank you.” that comes from behind them. It sounds so impossibly tired that they wish they had.

Everything will be fine when they get home, one way or another, Chert assures themself. It has to be, because the alternative- the true helplessness of being unable to help, of being useless to their friend- makes a pit open in their stomach that threatens to swallow them whole.

Chapter Text

Sanidine’s first thought is that the ship killed them when it exploded.

It isn’t hard to imagine. But they hadn’t felt the pull of the Ash Twin Project, or had to watch and feel its grisly retelling, so they’re pretty sure they haven’t actually died yet. That doesn’t keep them from feeling quite a lot like they are dying, as they wake up.

Hm. Mostly wake up. Vision’s off- their depth perception is wrong, or missing entirely, one or the other. That’s definitely the ceiling of a Timber Hearth building above them, though, which makes their heart sink. An annoyingly familiar ceiling, in fact. Gneiss’ clinic. How long have they been out for? Did anyone let Gabbro know? Why would they?

Right, one problem at a time. They take a slow breath in, and by some miracle they don’t taste blood or start coughing, which is in their mind a pretty good sign despite the pain they’re in.

“Gabbro?” They ask optimistically, because they can tell someone is sitting to their right, but their right eyes aren’t really cooperating. Something’s tight over there. Bandages, must be.

“Sani?” Gossan asks, softly, and Sanidine’s train of thought derails into a spectacular wreck. No. Anyone else, they beg, please. But Gossan takes their hand gingerly, and they lean forward, and their voice sounds so very tired, like it did the first time the pair of them were alone in this room. “Thank the stars you’re awake.”

Gossan is the one person other than Gabbro Sanidine would ever want to wake up to in this condition- Hal can wait until they’ve healed. They’re the one person Sanidine has been dreading the thought of seeing more than anybody while the time loop holds them. Their savior, their coach, their mentor.

Sanidine flinches. “Gossan. How long-”

“Two hours. I’m surprised you woke up so fast.” Gossan says, rubbing the back of Sanidine’s hand with the pad of their thumb. “What do you remember?”

“Pad collapsed.” Sanidine mutters. “Ship blew up. Did you send out an all-call?”

“Yes?” Gossan frowns. Sanidine’s handling this better than any pilot should be able to, especially on their first day. They expected their hatchling to be sobbing, a hysterical mess, and while they weren’t exactly looking forward to that this quietly anxious detachment is far more concerning. “If this is related to why y’called Gabbro’s name, they’re supposedly on the way here with Chert right now.”

“Good. Okay.” Sanidine says, quietly. They visibly relax at that, and Gossan’s frown deepens. “What happened?”

“Well,” Gossan sighs. “Somethin’ hit the launch tower. Came off Giant’s Deep going fast enough that Esker barely saw it. It blew through the wood so hard that, from what I saw, th’entire thing went to splinters in an instant. Nobody else got seriously hurt, at least.”

“Mm.” Sanidine glances away. The pain is concentrating into a few spots on their body now, and if they weren’t aware that before the day is out they’ll be fine again, they might be sick with panic at how much of it is bundled behind their upper right eye. “How bad?”

“Well, you definitely got banged up pretty bad all over.” Gossan squeezes their hand gently. “And you’ve got a few broken bones. But th’worst is your eye.”

Sanidine’s remaining eyes widen, and they look back at Gossan, tracing the shape of the scar on their mentor’s face. “Did- is it, uh-”

“Gneiss couldn’t save it.” Gossan says, as gently as they know how. “You’re on a lot of medicine, to keep it as painless as possible, but… it’s gone, hatchling. You and I get to share scars.”

Sanidine stares at Gossan. Their hand reflexively closes around the older Hearthian’s, and they try to figure out why they can’t even make themself look upset. Sure, the injury is bad, but it wasn’t that long ago that they were disintegrated by ghost matter. Their heart hurts for Gossan, the expression on their mentor’s face something unreadable.

It’s so hard to even remember the Sanidine that would’ve started screaming at this revelation. The one that would’ve been inconsolable, the one that would’ve sobbed openly into Gossan’s chest.

They just feel tired. Lonely, hollow. In pain, but no worse than they’ve been before at this point. The fear they feel is dread at the idea of being here when the supernova arrives, but Gabbro will be here soon enough, and they can figure out a plan, even if it’s just going and hiding in the Zero-G cave until everything ends.

“It’ll be okay.” Sanidine mumbles, unsure what else they can say.

Gossan grits their teeth. Something’s very wrong with their hatchling. Sanidine’s never sounded this way, not even on the night that still haunts Gossan’s nightmares. They wonder if it’s shock, but shock doesn’t account for the way their hatchling’s eye looks so, so tired, so sad. It’s all they can do to whisper “Sanidine, I’m here for you.”

And Sanidine tenses at that, like Gossan hit them, and for a moment Gossan is sure that they’ve hit a nerve somehow.

Sanidine wants to fling themself out of the bed and run. The wall they’ve been trying to hide behind cracks. Tears stream down their cheeks, and they squeeze Gossan’s hand tight enough that they’re sure their mentor feels pain, but they can’t bring themself to let go. “I,” They manage, through the tightness in their throat, “I wish you weren’t. I wish I didn’t want to tell you.”

Gossan’s eyes grow sad, and Sanidine reaches across themself to squeeze that hand with both of theirs now. “Sanidine, you can tell me anything. You know that.”

“Promise me you’ll believe me.” Sanidine whispers, their remaining eyes so tightly focused. “I’m n-not telling you this if you- you have to believe me. And, it’s. It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna hurt a lot, and there’s nothing I can do. There’s nothing-”

Gossan brings their free hand up to Sanidine’s shoulder, although their hatchling refuses to be pushed back down easily. “I promise I’ll believe you, Sani. Please, don’t hurt yourself.”

Sanidine breathes deep, then lies back against the bed when Gossan doesn’t relent on pushing against them.

“I’m sorry,” They mumble. Then their eyes close. Stars above, they wish Gabbro was at their side, because then maybe they could keep their dumb mouth shut. Too late now.

“It’s been, I don’t know, maybe a month? Since my real launch day?” They begin, and Gossan’s hand tenses around theirs. “I went to the observatory, got my launch codes from Hornfels, everything was going fine. I think I even got mostly left alone on the way there. And then that void-damned statue caught me on the way out.”

“What?” Gossan asks, and they try to sound less incredulous than they feel. They promised to believe Sanidine, and they certainly believe this is something Sanidine believes, but…

“The one Gabbro brought back.” Sanidine says, gritting their teeth for a moment. “You know, it’s eyes are open?”

“Hal and Hornfels were commenting on that earlier, yes, but-”

“They weren’t. When I walked by the first time, they weren’t. And then, on the way past it again, it turned to me, and I couldn’t move, and it looked at me.” Sanidine trembles a bit. “I saw… everything, happening in reverse, since I woke up at the Launch Tower. And then it let me go, and I was- I thought I’d gone crazy, but it felt way too real. So I went to Giant’s Deep on my first launch. Talked to Gabbro for hours about the statues, they had that happen too, and all kinds of things. Lost track of time. And then the sky went black, then it got way too bright, and way too hot, and it hurt like nothing I’ve ever felt before. And then we died.”

“You what-”

“I didn’t know what it was at the time. I woke up near Slate again. Honestly, I thought it was a bad dream. And then everyone I talked to was saying the same things, the same way, except Hal and Hornfels. Because the statue’s eyes were open, and nobody had seen it happen, and the launch codes were the exact same and everything was the same. Nothing has changed, nothing, this whole time, except me and Gabbro. We keep dying. The sun explodes, and everything dies and we feel every second of it and then we wake back up, and nobody remembers it, Gossan. Not you, not Hal, not Slate. Nobody.”

Gossan stares at Sanidine, at the way they’re shaking, at the tears pouring down their face. Their hatchling refuses to even open their remaining eyes, their face screwed into an agonized grimace. “We’ve managed to avoid being here when it happens. But every time I’m here, I think I can smell it and see it and hear it. The burning pine trees, the fire consuming everyone and everything, the screams. I can’t t-take it, I can’t spend time here anymore. A few loops ago I died to ghost matter and it still hurt less than knowing what’s going to happen here.”

Gossan reaches to cross Sanidine’s body with their free arm, protectively. They want to trust their hatchling, they want to trust their protege, but this- either it’s all an elaborate delusion, which is bad enough, or it’s all true and that would be so much worse. They aren’t sure what to say, and honestly, that hurts worse than anything.

The sound of engines echoes in the crater outside, and Sanidine stiffens against their hold, trying and failing to push up and out of the bed. “No. Absolutely not.”

“But it, it might be Gabbro, I need to get to them-”

“Gabbro?” Gossan grunts, holding Sanidine down as best they can. “I understand they’re in this with you, but Sani, you sound like-”

“Like what? Gossan, please, I can’t do this without- I’m not me without-” Sanidine gasps as they shift wrong, pain lancing up their side and making them jerk against Gossan’s arm. They pant for breath while Gossan stares at their face.

“If you keep this up I will get the sedatives Gneiss left me with.” Gossan growls, and their hatchling goes still again. It’s a threat with teeth, and Sanidine knows it. “Whether or not I’ll remember, y’don’t get to make me watch you hurt yourself like that, got it?”

Sanidine’s mouth opens. Shuts. “But-”

Gossan hesitantly lifts their arm, leaning back enough to look Sanidine eye to eye. “But nothing. Stay put, Sanidine. Please.”

Sanidine doesn’t let go of Gossan’s hand, but after a moment they stare anxiously at the door, stomach twisting. “I’ve had worse.” They say, and then flinch when Gossan’s hand tightens again.

“Didn’t need to hear that, hatchling.”

“Crashed my ship a few times. Got stuck to the inside of Brittle Hollow’s crust, that one was bad. Hal was there.” Sanidine’s dimly aware that they’re rambling, but they can’t seem to stop. “Had a piece of ship metal through my leg so big I don’t think I would’ve fallen even if it wasn’t for the-”

“Sanidine.” Gossan hisses, because to talk any louder would risk them shouting in something between outrage and panic. “Stop.”

“The worst one was my ship landing on me. Went right through me like a sap funnel into bark.” Sanidine says. They sound so matter-of-fact about it now, because they have to be, but they can’t keep their voice from tightening. “The pain was bad, but I think what made it hurt so much was it was the first time Gabbro didn’t go with me, and I had to watch their face, and-”

Gossan puts their hand on Sanidine’s head and turns it so that their eyes meet, and the founder’s heart shatters at the tired sincerity there. The doubt is gone. Sanidine wouldn’t make this up, couldn’t make this up. But what does that leave? They can’t just let them be hurt this way. They sound like someone completely different, someone who’s seen too much and knows they’ll see far more.

“The statues did this?” They ask, unflinching.

Sanidine stares at them like they just spoke complete gibberish, but at least they’re not rambling about their many deaths this time. They make an uncomfortable noise, then nod.

“Find me one. I’m not letting you two deal with this alone.” Gossan says, firmly, and Sanidine physically recoils like they’ve been slapped.

“No.”

“Sani-”

“No. No. I won’t, I can’t, and you won’t remember enough to make me.” Sanidine says, their voice suddenly hard. When did they get to this point, where they were willing to vocally weaponize the time loop this way? They’re not sure. They don’t want to consider it.

The problem is, it would be so easy. Take Gossan to Giant’s Deep, slip into the Statue Workshop…

No. Nobody else.

“Sanidine. You two shouldn’t have t'do this. Whatever this is, whatever’s happenin' to you, I’m right here. Let me help you.” Gossan says. They sound like they’re pleading. Sanidine wonders if they feel like they are.

“I c-can’t.” Sanidine stammers, inhales. “I can’t let this happen to- to you, to anyone else. Okay? It’s not- it’s-”

“Listen to me.” Gossan says, as evenly as they know how. “I won’t make you go through tellin' me all of this again. If you need me to follow you anywhere, to believe anything, without you needin' to explain it, I know what you can say to me.”

“What- Gossan, I’m not going to-” Sanidine says, and Gossan shakes their head.

“You just have to tell me you know you’re my hatchling, and I’ll listen to anything else you decide to say.” Gossan says, quietly. Either this is all alarmingly, devastatingly real, and Sanidine has a tool they can use, or it’s not and they simply crossed a line that was a long time coming.

And for the first time since they started rambling properly, Sanidine is totally speechless.

Chapter Text

Sanidine feels like the world just shifted under them. What in the stars is that expression on Gossan’s face? They’re serious, aren’t they?

“You mean, um,” They start, and Gossan gives them a tight smile.

“Nobody else knows this but Esker and Slate. Not even the other founders.”

“You mean I’m, actually, literally, yours.” Sanidine says, deadpan. They can hardly believe they’re saying it, and it’s certainly not a question.

“Well,” Gossan sighs, face flushing purple. “Mine and Slate’s. But I carried.”

Sanidine chokes on the multiple replies they want to give to that, and just manages a strangled wheezing noise.

Gossan wouldn’t make this up. Even if they did somehow decide to, they wouldn’t make it up and drop it on Sanidine in this condition. There is absolutely no chance this is a lie, a joke, or a prank. Gossan would never admit to this if it wasn’t real.

And, if it were anyone else, it really wouldn’t matter, would it? It wouldn’t make a difference at all, any more than it did not knowing.

But Gossan and Slate are close to Sanidine, and have been since they were a tadpole. Gossan’s been there in some of the lowest moments of Sanidine’s life prior to the time loop, and Slate’s been a constant background presence as space grew ever closer to their grasp.

The one person who showed them they could soar, even with damaged wings. The one person they wake up to every time death takes them, and never knows the importance of their presence.

Stars, they wish Gabbro were here to help them make sense of this, even if they’d never hear the end of it.

The Nomai had a term that took the translation project over a year to get down. It only really clicked once the duality of their pronoun set did, and even then, the implications remained fuzzy. The word showed up only in reference to pairs of Nomai, and only when referring to their relation to another. It was Hal who had the breakthrough: the Nomai were referring to the ones who gave birth to them, and to their culture, this must have had more significance. More like the way the Geyser-Dweller Hearthians treated it, in their mountainous homes.

‘Parents’, the Nomai called them. Odd term. Sanidine hadn’t quite understood it then.

It slips out of their mouth now, mumbled and hummed, a Nomai word from a Hearthian tongue. They barely realize they’ve said it, but Gossan hears it, and their ears flick upward.

“What was that?”

“Buh?” Sanidine manages, having gotten deep enough in their own head to forget their surroundings for a moment. Gabbro never lets them get away with that anymore, because there are pitfalls and traps and sharp teeth in those shadows.

“That noise. Like you were hummin’ something?” Gossan asks, almost grateful for the distraction from the heavy, then awkward conversation they’d been having.

“Oh. Nomaian. I didn’t mean to say that out loud, uh.” Sanidine says, looking at Gossan. “We, we’ve been learning, Nomaian? Together. The word is, um, it means, roughly, the two responsible for someone’s birth. To put it into our translations we think it’d roughly be pah-rents?”

“Huh.” Gossan frowns. There’s something deeply concerning about the fact that their two youngest astronauts have had time to start to learn another language, despite Sanidine having just visited them the night before on their way out to the launchpad.

“Like you two.” Sanidine mumbles, mouth moving as they run through things in their head again. They take a deep breath, grateful for whatever miracle kept their ribs intact through their fall. “You’ve known all along?”

“No.” Gossan says. “Esker told me. After Feldspar.”

Sanidine can’t help the way they flinch.

“Slate found out after I lost my eye. We didn’t think you’d want the distraction during your training.”

“Ohh,” Sanidine inhales sharply. “Oh, I’m going to give Esker the void for this.”

“What about Esker?” Gossan asks, eyes narrowing.

“I thought they were just teasing me with those comments about being Slate’s hatchling after I blew out an engine on my first Attlerock landing.” Sanidine says. Gossan hadn’t flown along for that one, that’d been a Chert job. Get the hatchling onto the moon and back, make sure they could handle an offworld landing.

Of course, Sanidine had gotten overzealous and bypassed the landing system’s thrust limitations, trying to impress someone. How they even knew how to do that was beyond Chert’s ability to explain at the time. As though the hatchling hadn’t had ample opportunity to look over Slate’s shoulder when Hornfels chased them out of the observatory for a while, or when the technology from their beloved aliens was being installed into the waiting ships. After all, the secrets of the universe might have been their goal, but piloting was how they’d follow the trail to them.

Gossan decides it’s for Esker’s benefit that Sanidine is the one who decides if they join this apparent time loop, because otherwise there are entirely too many ways to drive their old friend up a wall with no repercussions in retaliation.

Another ship comes in, and this time Sanidine tries to get up and simply drops back onto the mattress without Gossan having to lift an arm. Their adrenaline and panic are wearing off, and the pain in their muscles and head is starting to become stronger. With it there’s a dread that seeps into the cracks of their mind. “Uuugh. That better be Gabbro, or I’m going to the ghost matter patch and jumping in.”

“I’ll get you more medicine.” Gossan says, trying to ignore the casual way their hatchling is talking about death again, and Sanidine grunts in acknowledgement.

Gabbro hasn’t removed their helmet. They haven’t moved, not since the conversation over Giant’s Deep. They can’t bring themself to look at Chert again, they have no words worth saying, and so they simply try to focus on their breathing, even as Chert lands at the edge of the crater.

They’re in motion before Chert can stop them, and they drop through the hatch just ahead of their friend’s hands. Nah, no, they aren’t hanging around to get interrogated or hauled anywhere. Not today. They clamber down the edge of the crater with their jetpack pulsing as hard as their heart is beating, barely managing not to catch any trees alight.

They try to ignore that they can definitely hear Chert’s jetpack behind them. They’re faster, they’re pretty sure, or at least less afraid of landing in the wrong place. It would be hard to beat them at that.

They hit the crater floor running. Too many people nearby to use the jetpack now, too much risk of burning someone or causing even more of a scene than a sprinting astronaut already causes. The smoldering remains of Sanidine’s ship and the shattered pile of wood that once was the launch tower draw only a mournful glance.

It’ll be fixed soon enough, sort of.

Gabbro throws their helmet into the dirt outside of Gneiss’s clinic and barges through the door. They can hear Chert’s footsteps on their heels, but Chert isn’t strong enough to hold them back even if they catch up. Maybe with help- and Gneiss does spring to their feet as the astronaut tears through in their suit- but even then, when Gneiss catches their jetpack with one hand, they just twist to free their arm and slide free of its straps.

They burst into the room and Sanidine would throw themself off the bed and into their arms if they could. They certainly try, despite Gossan from the corner of the room yelling something at them.

And then, finally, contact. The time buddies wrap each other in an impossibly tight embrace, Sanidine’s hands grasping Gabbro’s suit while Gabbro lifts the smaller Hearthian’s torso from the bed and pulls them up to their chest. They kiss without hesitation, Gabbro bracing their legs against the feeling of Gneiss and Chert pulling them back. They don’t let go of Sanidine. They can’t.

They’re dimly aware that Gossan isn’t one of the ones pulling them away.

“Chert, Gneiss, let me handle this.” Gossan says, prying the pair’s fingers away from Gabbro’s arms physically. They’re all alarmingly close, but Gossan’s voice is the only clear one. “I know. I’m aware, Gneiss.”

Then, with an edge of steel that Gabbro hasn’t ever heard Gossan use when talking to Gneiss, “Let it be. I’ve got things under control.”

“Gabbro,” Sanidine finally whispers, once they break the kiss. “Oh, thank Hearth. You kept me waiting, you void-brained artist.”

“Blame Mallow and Avens.” Gabbro whispers back, pressing their forehead to Sanidine’s gently, one hand tightening against their smaller partner’s back.

“Hm. Overenthusiasm claims another victim.” Sanidine says, a little more naturally. They wish they could meet all of Gabbro’s eyes, and for a fleeting moment they wonder if Gossan felt the same way about Porphy after the incident.

“Your eye,” Gabbro frowns. “How bad is it?”

“Not as bad as missing you.” Sanidine says, and this earns them a snort from their companion. Good.

Gossan shuts the door behind them, then turns to look at the pair. They aren’t really sure if Sanidine or Gabbro are aware enough of their surroundings to remember they’re not alone. Given the way Sanidine was talking earlier, they aren’t really even sure if the two remember that in general.

It makes them feel more than a little sick that they have no choice but to believe their hatchling’s story. They’d trade anything to make it no more than a nightmare. But here’s Gabbro, not having taken off their suit- from what Chert was saying, barely taking off their jetpack- at Sanidine’s side like they belong there, embracing them like Gossan embraces Porphy, or perhaps even closer.

There’s no explanation for that save one, even if Gossan doesn’t want it to be the case.

“Sanidine told me everything.” Gossan says, and they watch the way Gabbro’s body tenses. It’s like they’re reacting to a whip cracking across their back. Sanidine whispers reassurances into Gabbro’s ear, and they slowly visibly relax.

Gossan retrieves the syringe of painkillers from the supply cabinet in the corner, and they resume preparing it with a sigh. “If I didn’t believe some of it before, watchin’ you two act like that is pretty convincing. So, since I won’t remember today anyway, apparently, talk to me. Sanidine was soundin’ like they were about to have a panic attack just from not being able to go see if you’d arrived.”

“We’re. Um.” Sanidine frowns. “It’s. Complicated?”

“It’s not.” Gossan observes. “Complicated don’t make you kiss that way. I’d know. I’ve had complicated before.”

They had indeed. Once, twenty or so years ago, leading to a hazy night with Slate.

“It’s hard to explain, then.” Gabbro says, and Gossan sighs.

“No, I- hold on.” Sanidine manages. They look up into Gabbro’s face again for a moment, wrestling with their thoughts. Timer’s ticking. Gossan won’t remember. Maybe it’ll feel better to say this to someone else, even if it doesn’t last.  “I don’t know how to be me without Gabbro. I can’t remember what it’s like. I don’t want to.”

Gabbro hesitates, then nods. “I can’t remember how to exist without Sani, either. Just losing sight of them is enough to hurt. Only thing that would be worse than the thought of losing them is never having this feeling at all.”

Ancient words borrowed so easily, repeated like a mantra to buoy them against their doubts.

“Stars above.” Gossan says, but there’s no real upset to it. “You two are hopeless for each other, aren’t you?”

“Suppose so.” Gabbro says.

“Sani, you said about a month?” Gossan asks, taking up their position on Sanidine’s other side. “I s’pose a month is plenty of time to fall in love, for what I know of it.”

Sanidine grunts as the needle presses into their arm. “It’s hard to keep track. They don’t last a full day.”

Gossan sighs, setting the needle aside and reaching to take both of their hands. “This is a lot. I’m not sure it’s entirely set in my head yet. And don’t think I’ve been missing the glances you’re giving me, damn it, I’m not dead yet.”

The pair both wince at that, forcing themselves to look away. It’s hard not to look at the other Hearthians that way, to have their faces not betray the flames they can so easily imagine whether they particularly want to or not.

“Gabbro. I asked Sanidine to bring me into this, whatever it is.” Gossan says.

Just like Sanidine, Gabbro flinches physically at the thought. “What? No. Are you out of your mind, Gossan?”

“I haven’t changed my mind either.” Sanidine says, glowering out of their remaining eyes at their parent. “I’m not doing this to anyone else.”

“You need help.” Gossan sighs. “I can’t let you two keep going through whatever this is on your own.”

“We-” Gabbro’s throat tightens around the words, and Sanidine grasps their hand tightly, reassuringly. “We have to. We can’t- nobody should go through this, nobody can handle this. Not even you.”

“Damn it, you two, let me-”

“Don’t make us run.” Sanidine says suddenly, quiet and shaky. “We will. We’ll steal a ship and be halfway to Brittle Hollow before you can stop us, and Riebeck won’t follow us into the black hole.”

“Into the- stars above.” Gossan mutters, eyes wide. “Just to avoid letting me help with this?”

“No.” Gabbro sighs. “No. It’s- you don’t understand, Gossan. I don’t think you can understand what this feels like. We’re talking to you, right now, and it’s not real to you as soon as we wake up again. We exist as much as the Nomai do.”

“Hah. Yeah.” Sanidine says, and there’s a trace of bitterness in their voice that makes Gossan’s heart hurt. “And when we do talk to people, unless we do something to make them change, they say the exact same things in the exact same order. I can’t even look at Slate anymore when I wake up. I’m so tired of hearing them start to say the same thing every time.”

“Worse, when you're in this, you remember everything. You remember exactly how it feels to die. Every time, because I guess that’s part of how the statues work. Every time the supernova catches us, every stupid thing we get caught by, everything.” Gabbro should look pained, or be grimacing, but they aren’t, and it’s a terrifying sort of passivity that Gossan sees in their eyes. “You don’t get to forget it. You just have to get used to it.”

Sanidine is staring at Gossan, that exhausted look in their eyes again, and they finally lean forward into Gabbro and bury their face into their partner’s suit. “We can’t do that to you, Gossan. We can’t do that to Porphy. Please, don’t make me regret telling you any more than I already do, okay?”

At the mention of Porphy, Gossan goes stiff.

The three sit in silence for a moment, and then Gossan groans, burying their face in their hands. Sanidine and Gabbro are right, and they know it, and it kills them to admit it. To try to save their hatchling and their poet, they would have to willingly abandon Porphy and the rest of the crater, throw themself headfirst into the same machine that has so thoroughly destroyed their ability to recognize their two youngest students.

They can’t do that. They can’t make that choice, for too many reasons. They’ve already lost the pair to the Nomai’s time loop, a month ago, less than a day ago, and now they have to somehow accept that what’s left is slipping further and further out of their grasp.

“I’m sorry,” Sanidine whispers.

Gossan pulls their hatchling and the one their hatchling loves tight to them, and now they’re the one crying. “Me too.”

Chapter Text

Gossan gives Sanidine and Gabbro room.

It’s all they can do at this point. The pair have made their feelings alarmingly well known, and even if Gossan could somehow track down one of these statues, they’d be lighting themself on fire to do it. Porphy was always careful, when helping Gossan to shoulder the responsibilities they took all too willingly, to remind them that they owed as much to Porphy and themself as they did to anyone else.

The supernova is a terrifying concept. The loss of their two closest students, a tragedy that tears at their heart, especially seeing how much they love each other now. But, as much as they hate it, as much as it makes bile rise in the back of their throat, they know that Sanidine and Gabbro are right. They could never admit it to themself, and they want to yell their anger at the pair for the way they spoke, but it’s all true, the same principle that held them back from sending a ship to Dark Bramble four years ago.

They stare a hole into Chert and Gneiss as the pair argue over what to do, unable to hear their questions and concerns over the words they can’t bring themself to say. You don’t send more people after a corpse. You don’t throw bodies after bodies.

Their hatchling and their poet are on their own, spinning free in orbit, and there’s nothing left to do but trust them to survive. They don’t even know how to begin to explain this to Gneiss or Chert in a way that won’t make them immediately demand all three of them be grounded for medical reasons, and just like they have before, they feel an instinct to protect these secrets. Nobody else has ever been entitled to know what those two are going through. Nothing about this has changed that situation.

“And I’m telling you that I have never seen Gabbro behave this way, and they nearly killed themself on my ship thrusters!” Chert snaps, and Gossan’s eye narrows as the. Chert is an excellent astronaut, the second most senior offworld traveler after Esker. Their enchantment with the stars is scientific more than aesthetic, and it’s no accident that they spend most of their time on Ember Twin watching the sun.

Their greatest flaw, their only major flaw, is one that Gossan has been working with Hornfels on for close to a decade now. That awful panic, the panic that’s rising in the back of Chert’s voice like venom. When confronted by a situation they’re incapable of influencing or understanding, they shatter and scramble and cut themselves on their own pieces.

And, if Gabbro forgot to pretend that death held meaning the same way Sanidine did while talking earlier, then there is no chance Chert hasn’t been fighting that panic this entire time.

“It’s not our business.” Gneiss says, a tightness in their voice. “As long as Sanidine stays in bed, and Gabbro stays on-world, we aren’t going to pry at this.”

Gneiss, who’s almost as bad as Gossan is with how much weight they choose to carry. Doctor, instrument-maker, everyone’s friend. Even folks from the other side of the crater know about Gneiss and their efforts with Porphy to ensure proper treatment of illnesses and wounds. The hospital on the south face of the crater walls is just another of their long list of achievements in that realm.

They’ve never pried more than they need to. Never taken offense at Gossan, even when Gossan lied boldly to their face. Never picked at old wounds where unnecessary. Just tried to keep everyone alive, as best one Hearthian can.

“And if they don’t, because you didn’t ground them properly?!” Chert exclaims, and Gossan snorts, earning them a well-deserved stare from both of the others.

“What in Hearth’s name makes you think they’ll listen to us?” They ask, looking Gneiss straight in the eye. “They’re about as likely to do that as Feldspar was.”

Gneiss grimaces. “Sanidine, maybe, but Gabbro’s smarter than that.”

“Normally, sure.” Gossan glances at the door. “They’re sufferin’. You both saw it, don’t act like you didn’t. Never seen Gabbro that desperate. Doesn’t mean they owe us an explanation right now, but it means they’re like to do whatever they feel like they need to do.”

“Which means what?” Chert half-squeaks, and now they’re the third Hearthian to stare at Gossan like they’re out of their mind today.

“Well, I’m aware I’m in the minority here, but I trust them.” Gossan says, as evenly as they can. “Sanidine’s been through an ordeal and a half, and Gabbro clearly cares about them. We let them handle this, and if they turn to us, then we offer a hand.”

Gneiss sizes Gossan up, taking in the lines of their face, the look in their eye. It’s a horrible feeling, because Chert’s panic aside, Gneiss knows Gossan’s leaving something out as soon as the words start to leave their lips. And this time, they’re not sure Gneiss will let them get away with it.

“Do you think they’re a risk to each other?” Gneiss finally asks, Chert trying to stop breathing so quickly. Nearly hyperventilating. Gossan reaches out to put a hand on the younger astronaut’s shoulder, steadying them.

“No.”

“Mm.” Gneiss hums, considering this.

“We could, should lock the room. Until we can get them help.” Chert says, and at least their voice sounds less breathless now.

It’s a void-brained idea, but damned if it doesn’t tug and tempt at the part of them that still wants to deny all of this. Hold the two on Timber Hearth, show them the sun won’t explode, and go from there.

They feel Sanidine’s piercing gaze from earlier. Don’t make us run. Not a request, not a threat, a statement. They’re leaving, because they have to leave, because staying terrifies them beyond anything Gossan thought possible and frankly, Gossan isn’t sure they wouldn’t be the same way. The only difference is whether they do it at a sprint or at a walk.

“We won’t.” They say, and Gneiss and Chert return to staring intensely at the flight coach’s face. It’s annoyingly clear why Sanidine and Gabbro are so exhausted at the thought of talking to people. How do you not just tell everyone that you know something like this? They’d torment Porphy with it every damn loop if they had to retain it.

Not for the first time, they’re forced to confront that their students are showing them an immense mercy by refusing their help. It doesn’t make it any less of a bitter pill to swallow.

They’re interrupted before Gneiss and Chert can speak. Sanidine opens the door slowly, and they’re not putting weight on their left leg, and frankly that’s not terrifically surprising considering their injuries. They’re leaning against Gabbro. Gossan frowns anyway.

“Get back to bed.” Gneiss says, reaching for Sanidine’s shoulder.

And finding air as Sanidine flinches away. “No. Chert. We need your ship.”

Is this their idea of asking nicely? Gossan gives their hatchling a stern glare, and Sanidine withers slightly, but they don’t step back.

“You- no! What in Hearth’s name do you mean, you need my ship?!” Chert yells, and Gossan feels a headache coming on.

“Neither one of you is in any condition to fly.” Gneiss says, looking Gossan’s way. “Back me up here, Gos.”

Gossan looks at their battered hatchling. They look at the exhaustion in Sanidine and Gabbro’s faces, the way their bodies tense, the fear. Keeping them on Timber Hearth would be no different than torture, whether or not the time loop is real. And their current state means they’re not doing themselves any favors.

“Why d’you want it?” Gossan asks, as though they don’t already know. Gneiss grits their teeth and Chert looks aghast that Gossan isn’t just simply shooting this down immediately.

Gabbro stares into Gossan’s face. Neither of the pair look at Gneiss or Chert. “Need to go get mine from Giant’s Deep.”

Stars above, what an awful lie. Sanidine knows it, Gabbro knows it, Gossan knows it. Gabbro used to be so good at this. But then, Gabbro used to be a lot of things that Gossan can’t seem to find in their face anymore.

“Hatchling, that can wait. You’re behaving erratically. You need a medical check. And that’s to say nothing of trying to take Sanidine with you!” Gneiss crosses their arms. “Neither one of you is going anywhere.”

“Especially not in my ship!” Chert blurts out. “Gabbro, what in the stars is wrong with you?! You barely even know Sani!”

Both astronauts look like they’re about to throw up at that, and Gossan’s heart sinks further. “Chert, enough.”

“Gossan! You can’t tell me you’re not worried about this!”

“I said enough!” Gossan snaps, and the air goes very still. Gossan losing their patience is rare. Usually only Slate manages to accomplish that, and even then, the flight coach tries extremely hard not to yell.

Even Sanidine and Gabbro are staring. They wish they hadn’t seen this, but it’s proof enough that they’re right.

Gossan can’t be added to the time loop, assuming the statues would even pair, for Gossan’s sake above all else. Even just knowing about it right now, trying to protect them, is taking an obvious toll on their mentor.

“Gossan,” Gneiss starts to say, and their words falter.

“Chert.” Chert cannot be allowed to look at the sun from space. Cannot. They’re panicking this badly already, they’ll shatter if what Sanidine has said is true and the sun is dying. And if not, well, they’re starting to have issues with the ‘if nots’. The fear in the eyes of their students haunts their thoughts. “You’re right. I’m worried. This’s been a stressful day for all of us, and you know exactly how much I want to keep every single one of you safe.”

“But-”

“That said, let them borrow the ship.” Gossan says, and before Chert can respond (and oh, they’ve got opinions on that) Gneiss’ hand falls on Gossan’s shoulder.

“You’re out of your stars-dazzled mind. I won’t allow this.”

“Last I checked, I’m the one with launch authority, not you.” Gossan says. It’s rougher than they mean it to be, but it has to be, or the pair will never get away.

“I- I’m going to talk to Hornfels about this.” Gneiss hisses. “You’re not endangering these two with this nonsense. I won’t allow this, Gossan, whatever insanity you’ve been afflicted with will not overrule medical sense.”

“Talk to them all you want.” Gossan says, low and even. “In the meantime, I’m going to see them off.”

“In my- But- Gossan!” Chert half-screeches.

Gossan waves Sanidine and Gabbro past the group anyway, glaring at Gneiss’ halfhearted attempts to interfere. “I’ll explain later, Chert.”

“Explain now!” Chert yells, and Gabbro winces, trying to muscle the pair of them past Gneiss’ hands and Chert’s body. “Explain why you’re letting this happen! Explain what in Hearth’s name has gotten into them, since they’re not talking! Explain any of this!”

“I should’ve just jumped into the ghost matter again.” Sanidine mumbles, not looking at Chert. They thought they were being quiet enough, really they did, only really wanting Gabbro to hear them if anyone. But the ability to gauge their volume burned away with the same part of them that kept them from saying things like that at all.

Chert whirls on them in an instant. “WHAT!?”

“Not helping or funny, Sanidine.” Gossan says, pushing their arm between Chert and their hatchling. It’s a little awkward due to their simultaneous attempt to bodyblock Gneiss.

“Wasn’t trying to be funny.” Sanidine says.

Gabbro bonks their head into Sanidine’s gently. “Shut up, love.”

“Since when-”

Gabbro hauls Sanidine out of the clinic before they have to hear the rest of that. The pair reflexively look to the sky. Judging by the color of the sun, nearly half their loop is gone by now.

It’s not urgent that they get offworld, not yet, but they’re not keen on staying.

“Chert landed on the crater edge.” Gabbro says, frowning. “We can maybe get up there, but with your leg, I don’t like our odds.”

“We’d have to use one of the log lifts.” Sanidine says. “And if we do that, we’ll have to explain where we’re going to one of the tree keepers.”

“Marl might help us out.” Gabbro muses. “Aren’t you two on good terms?”

“I think we were? Speaking terms, anyway.” Sanidine frowns. “Let’s not hang around here talking. Gossan won’t keep them busy for long.”

“Do you have a plan?”

“Do we ever have a plan?”

“Sometimes we pretend to.” Gabbro grins weakly at the snort that comes from Sanidine. Point to them. “Let’s get you a spacesuit, and we’ll go from there.”

They scoop their helmet up from the dirt with their free hand, then start toward the Zero-G Cave. Tuff is easy enough to scare away if they need to, and with Gossan no longer in the cave’s mouth, nobody else is likely to stop them, even if Sanidine is getting several concerned glances from passerby.

It’s too much, and both of them feel too seen, and they hurry as best they can. Gabbro’s not used to people focusing on them. Sanidine’s not used to hating it.

They reach the cave and Gabbro wastes no time in starting to get the spare suit onto Sanidine. It’s awkward. A broken leg, the head bandages, the bruises. It’s not a great fit to begin with, but at least it fits the smaller astronaut at all.

“So, that went. Not great.” Sanidine says, haltingly, hissing at Gabbro pulling the boot clasps a bit too tight for their broken leg.

“And here I didn’t think we could get worse at talking to people.” Gabbro agrees.

“I wanted to hit Chert.” Sanidine confesses. “For, um.”

“I know.” Gabbro says, closing their eyes for a moment and rocking back onto their heels.

The words wash back over them both, now that they have time to think. Gabbro, what in the stars is wrong with you?! You barely even know Sani! 

“It’s not their fault.” Sanidine whispers, leaning against the wood more heavily, cradling the suit’s helmet. “I know it isn’t. So why does it hurt so much?”

“I don’t know.” Gabbro sighs. “Maybe it’s the way they said it. Like it was unthinkable, or something.”

“Maybe.” Sanidine frowns. They try not to let it linger, but the thought echoes in their head that  maybe they’re just so used to this already that the idea of not being with each other is painful, even in the words of someone outside their situation. They shake their head to try to clear it as Gabbro stands up, attaching their helmet to the suit’s old pack.

They both jump at the sound of the elevator, Sanidine grabbing Gabbro’s hand and swallowing. The spare suit doesn’t have the jetpack thrust to get them both out of trouble, and Gabbro’s jetpack is who knows where by now. Running is the only choice they have, again, and the smaller astronaut is hardly in a condition to do that particularly well.

The pair visibly relax when Gossan comes into view. “There you two are. This time loop had better be real, or Gneiss and Hornfels are going to skin me alive and Chert will never speak to me again.”

“Hah. You’re safe from that, at least.” Gabbro says. They squeeze Sanidine’s hand briefly, then slide their helmet on and latch it.

Just in time to, very dimly, hear the sound of rocket engines echoing down the cave.

“That’ll be Riebeck.” Gossan mutters, rubbing their temples. “Chert’s going to take off soon, too. I tried, but they’re convinced- and they convinced Riebeck on their suit radio- that they’re saving you from themselves, damn the consequences, and Gneiss didn’t help.”

“Of course. Void take us.” Sanidine mutters, before hanging their head. “I need to think. There’s got to be a way out of this.”

“Those’re the last two ships on Timber Hearth.” Gossan says, crossing their arms. “Functional ones, anyway. My old machine’s in pieces with Slate. Best I can get you two is spare jetpacks.”

“Gossan. You’ve already done so much just believing what we’re saying. Staying with Sanidine until I got here, getting us out of the clinic, I. I wish you’d remember how much it means.” Gabbro’s voice wavers, and Sanidine squeezes their hand tight, knowing their tone means they’re trying to contain their tears. “Just like before.”

“Before?” Gossan frowns.

“We came home once before. You don’t remember, obviously. I guess I could hide some things better back then, because you didn’t press the issue as hard as you did this time.” Gabbro shakes their head. “You couldn’t save me then any more than you can save us now, but you. You held me anyway. Let me breathe, let me cry, and I- I needed that. Just like in the grove.”

Gossan stiffens. Their hands twitch like they’re going to reach for Gabbro, but they don’t move, afraid they won’t be able to let go if they take hold of either their students. “I’m. I’m glad, Gabbro. Wish I could do more.”

“You did a lot.” Gabbro says.

“Listen, I already told Sanidine this-”

Sanidine’s head snaps up. “That is completely unnecessary.”

“-if you need me to listen to anything you say, or go anywhere, without asking you to explain things, there’s something you can tell me that nobody else is supposed to know.” Gossan ignores Sanidine’s annoyed groans.

On the one hand, Gabbro could stop Gossan. They do hate Sanidine’s discomfort, most of the time.

On the other, it’s not a pained sort of discomfort, and Gabbro would trade an awful lot of little things for ways to annoy their love when Sanidine deserves it.

“Go on.” They say, and Sanidine gives them the most put-on betrayed look they’ve ever seen. Incredible.

“Just tell me that you know Sanidine’s my hatchling. Mine and Slate’s. I’ll believe anything else you say.” Gossan says, and Gabbro’s eyes go wide.

Oh, Sanidine is never going to live this down.

Chapter Text

“We. Will talk about this. Later.” Sanidine says, because they can feel Gabbro’s stupid grin through their love’s helmet, and their face is burning purple with the knowledge of what awaits them when later comes.

“Oh, yes, we will.” Gabbro agrees, before looking back at Gossan. “That explains an awful lot.”

“Watch it, Gabbro. Even if you’re not my student anymore, I’m still your coach.” Gossan crosses their arms. They choose not to add and that’s still my hatchling to the end of it. It won’t save Sanidine from whatever teasing Gabbro has in mind, anyway. “How are you getting out of here?”

“Overpressure geyser jump?” Sanidine deadpans, and Gossan glares at them. They can’t bring themself to regret saying it, though they know they should. It makes the “Sorry,” that slips out of their mouth feel all the more hollow.

“You’re sure there aren’t any other ships? Esker maybe?” Gabbro asks, the playfulness disappearing from their voice. Sanidine hates the way it fades, leaving nothing but exhaustion in its wake.

“Do you think you’ve got it in you to explain why you need a ship to Esker?” Gossan frowns. There’s no assumption there, just genuine concern.

“Not yet.” Sanidine admits. “It was hard enough talking to you.”

“And I don’t think we can call what happened with Chert ‘talking’.” Gabbro says, letting Sanidine lean into them. The smaller Hearthian lets out a shuddering sigh. No, not talking. Demanding. Ignoring. Being called crazy. But not talking.

“If we aren’t turning to Esker, I’m not sure there’s a way to get you off Timber Hearth.” Gossan says, glancing back at the elevator. “How long do we have?”

“Not sure. It seems like it’s a little different each time. We tried measuring it, but,” Gabbro frowns.

“The timer went quantum. Or something. It kept changing every time we checked it.” Sanidine says. The pair stare back at Gossan’s face, meeting his incredulity with complete sincerity. “We think we’re about halfway through this one, though. Maybe less, going off the color of the sun.”

“Is that really how you keep track?” Gossan asks, frowning. They can dig into ‘went quantum’ if they ever get the chance, but it’s not important right now.

“It’s reliable enough when we can see it.” Gabbro says, gazing past Gossan at the wall, remembering the first time they’d witnessed the engorged red giant cresting around the curve of Giant’s Deep. Back when they’d first sworn to keep each other going, no matter what, before they really knew what that would mean.

“I just realized, geyser won’t work anyway.” Sanidine says, entirely too casually, like they’re discussing dinner plans. “I’ll just wind up coughing myself to death if I have to do that with my suit on.”

“You’ll what?!”

“It’s fine, Gossan,” Sanidine says, ignoring the very pointed look their parent is giving them. “I have a problem with the dry air. It’s under control. Porphy showed us how to make a medicine for it, and normally Gabbro can get it for me, but, well.”

“And Hornfels didn’t catch this when screening your health why, exactly?” Gossan growls.

“I don’t know, ask Hornfels if you need to find out.” Sanidine grimaces. “Seriously, I don’t need you to worry about this. We can handle it. We’ve handled it fine up until now.”

Well. Fine enough. Gossan doesn’t need to know about the way Sanidine still thinks about clawing their hands open when the medicine first begins its work, not any more than Gabbro does. They can handle it, and they’ll keep handling it.

“ Warp tower."

” Gabbro suddenly says, accented but understandable Nomaian. They switch back to Hearthian reflexively, ignoring Gossan’s wild stare. “Sani. Out near those ruins. Just like the one on Brittle Hollow.”

“What? Oh, stars. That’s- doable.” Sanidine frowns. Of course. They’ve read a lot about the logistics of the Nomai’s warp network in the more recent logs from the Meltwater District, along with their experiences at the White Hole Station. The logs lack in practical details of the warp network’s operation, but they make no secret of how widely used it was. “If it even works.”

“It has to work. It’s all I’ve got, and if you or Gossan were going to have a better plan, you would’ve already.” Gabbro glances at Gossan, then frowns. “What?”

“You wanna clue me in on what you two are discussing doing out by those ruins?” Gossan asks, arms crossed.

“Warping.” Sanidine says, nudging Gabbro with an elbow. “Right. I think we both forgot for a moment. Some words are just habit, ‘cause we see them a lot when we’re studying. You have a suit with air, Gossan?”

“I can get one.” Gossan says, as the pair start toward the elevator again. “Don’t tell me you changed your mind now?”

“No.” Sanidine says, squeezing Gabbro’s hand as they limp aboard. Their pain tolerance is starting to become worrisome, given how little they’re willing to accommodate their broken leg. “But. Even if you won’t remember, we will. So I want you to come with us. That way we can use the time we have left, show you whatever we find on the other side. Make it count while we have you with us, even if it hurts.”

The words come out strained. Sanidine can’t bear to look at Gossan’s face. It feels like talking to someone who’s terminally ill, even if the reality is that Gossan will be standing at the Zero-G Cave’s entrance as soon as Sanidine wakes up again. It’s got to be better than thinking they’ll never stand there again at all. It has to be.

Sanidine wishes they felt that as firmly as they know they should.

Gossan sighs, getting onto the elevator with the pair and pushing the lever back up. “If you can take it, I’d trade just about anything for more time.”

“Yeah.” Gabbro mumbles. “Us too.”

The elevator whirs as it ascends, but the passengers are silent. The air here feels heavier than normal in their lungs.

They don’t speak again until they’re all outside, and Sani and Gabbro once again peer up. Sun’s still burning dark orange, but it’s not going to stay that way long.

Gossan glances up too, and they grimace as they realize what they’re seeing. If they weren’t specifically looking for it, they doubt they’d have noticed the sun’s color shifting. Now, though, they weren’t sure they could notice anything but. “Ah.”

“Not yet.” Sanidine whispers, just loud enough that Gossan can hear. “Please.”

“Sani.” Gabbro sighs, squeezing Sanidine around the shoulders. “We should keep moving. It’s going to take hours to get out there.”

“Gh. Sorry.” Sanidine shakes their head. The motion hurts, but they ignore it. “Gossan? Can you get the jetpacks and your suit? Maybe meet us over by the hatching house, we’ll be working our way up the canyon. Is that okay?”

“As okay as any of this is.” Gossan nods. “G’on, you two. I’ll catch up. Just don’t get too far away from the crater edge, if you beat me up there.”

And then they turn and start hurrying toward one of the last places on the planet they want to be at that moment, up the crater’s northeast wall. They can already imagine the trouble Slate’s about to give them. For once, they’re actually willing to imagine themself caving and throwing a punch at the shipwright, if only to get those jetpacks to Sanidine and Gabbro faster. Possibly stress relief too, emboldened by the knowledge that there was now almost zero chance that either of them would remember it.

Okay, and because it’d feel satisfying to do it when they’re actually justified. Maybe mostly that.

They’re not sure if they should be thankful or not that Slate is there. On the one hand, this involved the hatchling who was, whatever their feelings on the events that led up to their birth, mutually theirs. On the other, Slate may well have talked to Gneiss or Chert or whoever else, and they didn’t need a reason to stonewall Gossan but it certainly didn’t hurt.

Meh. Worst case, Gossan hasn’t thrown a real punch in ages, and it might honestly be cathartic.

Slate’s leaning on the mangled heap that was once Sanidine’s prized fuselage, watching Gossan come up the trail the entire way. Neither of them makes any attempt to hide from the other, and Gossan tries to simply walk past Slate without acknowledging the steel in their eyes.

“Gossan.” Slate says, tone unreadable. That’s bad, Gossan thinks, because Slate’s tone when they show up is normally an open book somewhere between ‘why are you here’ and ‘go away’.

“Slate.” Gossan replies, unable to keep the tension out of their voice. At least Slate’s just watching them with crossed arms instead of moving to keep them away from the equipment storage. The door handle is tantalizingly in reach.

“Hornfels wants anyone who sees you to bring you and the hatchlings back for psych eval.” Slate says, a little less evenly. That tone is rapidly sliding toward ‘why are you here’. “Said something about you trying to launch them despite Sanidine’s injury. Gabs having some kind of breakdown. Sound familiar?”

“Maybe.” Gossan says, pushing the door handle. Locked. It was worth a shot. “Last I checked, Hornfels and I share launch authority.”

“You do.” Slate sniffs. “‘Course, that only goes unless one of you’s incapacitated.”

“Do I look incapacitated to you?” Gossan asks, turning to face Slate again. “Unlock the stars-forsaken door, Slate.”

“You look.” Slate looks Gossan in the eye, fingers tensing around their elbows. “Like you’re afraid of something.”

“Maybe I am. That grounds for an eval?” Gossan asks.

“Only when you’re a real asshole about it to your friends.” Slate glares.

“That so? You should’a been locked up ages ago for that.” Gossan says.

“I didn’t tell Chert to give a ship to two obviously unstable hatchlings.” Slate sneers. “Hatchlings that I know you’re still helping, because you’re a moron who’d chop their own arm off if they thought someone would appreciate it.”

“So why do you care? What’s that saying you like so much, marshmallows and rocket science?” Gossan growls. “Whatever happened to that? Or are you just upset something else took an eye out around here for once?”

It slides out so easily and fills the air with poison. Gossan doesn’t have it in them to stop it. They forgave Slate already, but the guilt and weight are still there between them, and they can’t help swinging straight for the throat. If it weren’t for the way their hatchling had looked at the sun as they emerged from the mine, they might’ve had more resilience in them still. Too late now.

Slate stiffens, their glare darkening. “What was that?”

“Let me into the shed.”

“You walk up here demanding to get into the shed, and you won’t even tell me why. Then you decide you’re going to start digging in old dirt and throwing it in my face. Give me a reason I shouldn’t just knock you on your tail and call Hornfels up here right now.” Slate snarls, stepping toward Gossan with clenched, trembling hands.

Gossan’s eye falls to Slate’s hands, and they want really, really badly to take this fight. They want it so badly. Slate’s easily their match and better, and it doesn’t matter because they want so badly to take a swing at last and settle the bad blood between them.

There’s no time. They snap back to themself, pushing down as much of their anger as they can, letting it settle like bile in their throat. It’s awful, bitter and burning and fighting to escape. “Our hatchling needs help. Think for half a damn second! Our hatchling is in danger, and you think I’d make it worse?!”

“I think you might!” Slate yells. “I think you might listen to Sanidine, who got hit in the void-damned head, over using even a bit of common sense to protect them!”

“Of course I would!” Gossan yells back. They’re in each other’s faces now, chest to chest. “You’d do it too if you’d been at their side when they woke up instead of pickin’ over scrap metal that was still half on fire!”

“I have a job to do!”

“So do I! Someone has to protect our astronauts! Someone has to protect our hatchling!”

“So protect them better!”

“At least I’m trying to protect Sanidine at all!”

Slate swings. Gossan doesn’t move fast enough- they barely move at all, though they’ve known this is coming the entire time. Slate hits their face with a wet crack, and they fall back into the dirt hard, clutching their nose. Damn. That is definitely broken, and frankly, they’re already well aware that they deserve it.

“Fuck. You.” Slate spits.

The pair pant heavily, staring at each other. Neither one moves.

“I still need into the shed.” Gossan finally says, propping themself up on their side, one hand holding their scarf against their nose as red stains their lips. “For Sanidine.”

“Give me a reason not to hit you again.” Slate growls.

“Our hatchling will try to make their way to the Nomai surface ruins whether or not m’helping.” Gossan grunts. “Gabbro will take them. They’re terrified of bein’ on world, Slate, and they think there’s a way to leave out that way. I have my reasons for believin’ them. Let me help them, for both of us.”

They stare at each other for a minute longer.

Gossan summons up the strength to bite back things they want to yell. Instead, they manage a “Please” that feels entirely too small in their mouth.

Slate’s eyes snap wide open at that. “What?”

“Don’t make me say it again.” Gossan says, quietly, the adrenaline and anger fading into a cold numb feeling. How long did this fight burn from the timer running in the background of Sanidine and Gabbro’s minds? How long do they have left?

Their eye traces upward. Sun’s starting to get a red tint. Not good.

They’re not subtle enough to keep Slate from turning to look as well, and they can see the shipwright’s ears fold back in silhouette. “What in Hearth’s name is wrong with the sun?”

“Everything.” Gossan manages to say. Damn the way their heart pounds at the sight of Slate with the sun behind them, its glow playing in the other founder’s features when they turn back around. Those feelings are long extinguished and buried, and they won’t remember they spotted embers under the grave soil anyway. “That’s why those two need to leave. That’s why I’m asking you, just this one time, please. Help me help them.”

Slate’s eyes search for deeper meaning in Gossan’s face, some sign of a trick or lie. There’s nothing, and that’s so much worse than any deception Gossan might come up with. They search their heart, trying to process the way Gossan is looking at them. Finally, they whisper “Will it protect them?”

“Only thing that possibly can.” Gossan says, quietly.

Slate grimaces, then starts toward the shed, fishing in their flight jacket’s pocket. Every member has one, even if Slate has never voluntarily ridden into space. They unlock the door and prop it open, then rub their face, a quiet dread starting to sink into them.

Gossan walks over, pausing in the doorway to look at them. “Sanidine says we won’t remember what’s comin’, it’s some kind of Nomai time loop, as insane as that sounds. They said they and Gabbro will remember. And I believe that more’n I believe my own senses right now, ‘cause I saw how their faces looked. They can’t be here, Slate, I feel it in my bones. And if I’m wrong, if this is all a head injury and a delusion, y’can take the other eyes.”

“Shut the fuck up and get what you need.” Slate mutters, not looking at them.

So Gossan does. A spare spaceworthy suit and two extra jetpack units, the backup pair that normally go unused. They suit up, slide one of the jetpacks on neatly, then haul the other out and look at Slate again.

Words dance in their head, burning their ears despite going unsaid.

“I’m sorry. Thank you.” Gossan manages. It’s quiet, but genuine, even if the vast majority of them still wants to hit Slate back. Then they heft the spare jetpack under one arm and run for the crater wall, launching into the air in a trail of exhaust fumes.

“Me too.” Mutters Slate to nobody. They look up at the sun, then wander numbly down the hill, rubbing the lingering ache in their fingers.

Chapter Text

It turns out that a broken leg and a jetpack are a great way to prove to yourself and anyone around how stupid you really are.

At least ‘anyone around’ just means Gabbro and some wildlife, three quarters of the way up the crater wall path, and Sanidine is well aware that Gabbro knows how stupid they can be. It doesn’t make their leg hurt less when they land wrong trying to hurry things along, or make their scream any less loud. They wish it would, honestly, more for Gabbro’s sake than for anyone who might hear it down below. The pain’ll be gone soon enough, at the rate the sun’s color is darkening, but their partner’s worry always stings longer than the loop lasts.

Gabbro sighs this time, catching Sanidine against their side. The jetpack from the cave is underpowered, intentionally so, and even a fully tuned jetpack can have trouble moving two adult Hearthians any real distance under normal gravity. It’s a testament to Sanidine’s determination that the thing has saved them any time at all.

“I think we can stop trying to skip switchbacks now.” Gabbro says. It’s not really a suggestion. “We’re almost there, and if you scream like that again I’m going to pick you up and carry you.”

“Promise?” Sanidine asks through clenched teeth. They release the jetpack control anyway, forcing themself to keep walking.

“Hah. Maybe. So, Gossan and Slate?” Gabbro asks, and Sanidine’s leg is suddenly not the most painful part of their existence at that moment.

“Do we have to talk about this right now, Gabbro?”

“Only because you’re being an idiot with your leg.” Gabbro grins at the grunt Sanidine replies with. That’s still one of their favorite sounds in the universe, even after everything they’ve been through.

“Not like I had any idea until now.” Sanidine says, glancing back down into the crater. “I didn’t even think they liked each other, much less, uh.”

Gabbro’s grin widens. “Dated? Yeah, me neither.”

Sanidine snorts. “I always figured if it wasn’t the way they had completely different ideas of a nice night, it’d be the, uh, eye thing that kept them apart.”

“The eye thing that happened after you hatched.”

“Don’t want to talk about it, love.” Sanidine says, with significantly less of the lightheartedness their other protest carried. “My point is, they always seemed like they’d rather break each other’s faces than, uh, that. Hard to imagine them being anyone’s parents together.”

It’s getting to be simple, slipping words in a long-dead alien language into their speech. Convenient. Easy.

“Yeah, I get what you mean.” Gabbro says. “I always figured Gossan’s interests started and ended at Porphy. And I didn’t think Slate felt that way about anyone at all.”

“You get to be the one to ask Slate about it.” Sanidine mutters. “I already embarrassed myself once. It’s even worse, knowing I’m related to them.”

Gabbro laughs at that. “Oh, yeah, I’m not touching that. But it explains a lot about you.”

“You said that already.” Sanidine says. “I still don’t see it.”

“Well, you managed to disable your ship’s safety features during a panic attack, and you’re maybe the second person ever who’d have that kind of reaction.” Gabbro says. The end of the trail is in sight, and there’s a jetpack firing somewhere off to their left. Gossan, they hope. “And you’ve got a real familiar ‘who cares about taking care of myself’ habit.”

Sanidine huffs, elbowing Gabbro gently. “That’s not fair. I don’t even know who to compare you to back.”

Gabbro’s ears twitch. “If I find out I’m related to someone we know, I’m never telling you anyway.”

“Liar.”

“Yeah.”

Sanidine sighs as they crest the edge of the crater, and the pair find a tree to rest against. They can’t make any real progress across the planet surface without Gossan’s equipment anyway, much as they’d like to. Even with the jetpacks, it’ll be at least an hour, maybe two before they reach the ruins. And that’s assuming they never have to stop because of their injuries.

They try to squash the sliver of bitterness they feel toward Chert. If they’d just had a ship, they’d be out of here by now, back on Giant’s Deep or Brittle Hollow to nurse their wounds in a place they’d already watched burn multiple times. Everything would hurt less again once they weren’t so cruelly chained to their home.

They’re brought back to reality by Gabbro gently resting their forehead against theirs, the taller astronaut’s helmet laying in the grass beside them. “Hey. Sani. Still with me?”

Sanidine hums an “Mm?” in response.

“Good. Don’t need you going quiet like that. My nerves are shot enough as it is.” Gabbro says, softly. “I think I heard a jetpack a minute ago. Gossan should be here soon.”

Sanidine closes their eyes, breathing deep. The familiar scent of pine trees is tainted by the acrid thought of ash on the wind, and their lungs tingle from smoke that isn’t there. “You smell that?”

“I wish I didn’t.” Gabbro says. “It’s not burning, but the smell’s everywhere. It's like a rag over my face.”

“Can’t even let us have that.” Sanidine grits their teeth. “Can’t even let us have a little bit of anything, can it?”

Gabbro reaches up to run a thumb over Sanidine’s uninjured ear gently, and the smaller astronaut relaxes ever so slightly into their palm. “It’s not real. We’ll be gone before it is.”

“Mm. I hope you’re right.” Sanidine says, quietly.

They’re interrupted by a jetpack firing, and both of them turn to look as Gossan touches down nearby with a spare jetpack in their arms. “Had t’take a detour. You two all right?”

“Breathing.” Sanidine replies, as Gabbro goes to get the spare jetpack on. “You have any trouble?”

“No.” Gossan lies. Their nose is killing them under their helmet. “Not really. Slate was unhappy, but I got what I wanted. Had to swing around and get this from Hal once I had a working pack with me.”

They hold out an achingly familiar satchel, and the younger Hearthian’s eyes widen in recognition. Sanidine takes the translator with trembling hands, clutching it tight to their chest. “I didn’t think it survived.”

“Hatchling, I don’t know if it did or not. When we were getting you cleaned up from the fall, we gave it to Hal for safekeeping.” Gossan frowns. “They didn’t hesitate to give it to me when I said I was taking it to you. I guess Hornfels hasn’t filled them in yet.”

Sanidine’s breath catches in their throat for a moment, and they curl around the translator a little more. “Or they’re trying to help. Again.”

Gossan’s ears lower. “They might be. What do you mean, again? Does this have to do with what you said about them being on Brittle Hollow with you?”

“Yeah. I. They caught me in my ship before I took off, one time. I waited too long.” Sanidine tries to breathe. The awful clinging scent of burning trees carves into them, as imagined as they know it is. “They had to fly me to Giant’s Deep. And from there, they were with us through the end.”

“Like I’m going to be.” Gossan says, flatly. It’s not a question.

“That’s the plan.” Gabbro says, once they finish strapping on the jetpack. They put their helmet onto its holder, then nod to Gossan. “We need to get to those ruins.”

“Help me out, then. We rescue-carry Sani.” Gossan says, wrapping an arm under Sanidine’s shoulder. “It’s not going to be comfortable, but easier than letting you take the weight each time you land.”

“Yeah. Alright.” Sanidine nods, letting Gabbro get a grasp on their other side.

And like this, they start on their way, Sanidine hanging their head and sucking air with each landing. Across Timber Hearth’s abundant grass and trees, past lakes and rivers and geysers.

Past a camp of tree keepers from Youngbark, who yell something impolite at them and get yelled at back by Gossan. It’s a blur. Sanidine isn’t thinking clearly, finally letting their mind haze over from the medicine and the pain and the stress. Gabbro’s thinking entirely too clearly, focused purely on getting to the ruins and tuning out everything that isn’t part of that goal.

It takes them an hour. Another hour of life bled from the sun, now well and truly red, though it has yet to swell to its final size.

Sanidine tears their arms away from the pair and collapses onto the glass of the warp platform, dry heaving, and Gabbro kneels down to put a hand on their back. “I’m here. I’m here, you’re okay.”

“Ow.” Sanidine manages, once their body is done registering its upset at the way they’re treating it.

“Yeah.” Gabbro sighs. “When you’re ready, time buddy.”

The younger Hearthian manages to sit up, hands feeling around the edges of the warp core in the center, body shaking. “I’m good. Go talk to Gossan or something, let. Let me focus. Has to be something.”

Gabbro hesitates, then kisses Sanidine’s cheek softly before getting up and going to Gossan’s side.

“What’re they lookin’ for?” Gossan asks, and Gabbro shrugs.

“Anything to make it go. We’ve only used one of these once before, and it was out past the orbit of Dark Bramble.” Gabbro fidgets with their hands for a moment. “Ah, void take me, my flute was in my pack”

“Hold on. Out past the orbit of Dark Bramble?” Gossan asks, squinting at Gabbro.

“Yeah. I mean, that’s what I figured the distance to be. Nomai space station on the other side of Brittle Hollow’s big old stomach.” Gabbro’s hands finally settle on the clasp of their jetpack’s harness. “It’s kind of nice out there, actually. Quiet.”

Gossan shakes their head. “You fell into the black hole?”

“Twice.” Gabbro chuckles darkly, clenching their hand tight around the clasp. “Had to apologize to Riebeck last time, before it all ended. That was my fault.”

“Stars above, Gabbro.” Gossan sighs, reaching for Gabbro’s shoulder.

Gabbro looks at Sanidine, who’s gotten a panel open from the Nomai device and is translating something inside it. They wonder if the translation will make it into the ship’s log despite the condition of the ship. That would be proof there’s something more up with the computer than just the timer, at least.

“It’s worth it.” Gabbro says, quietly. “Having them is worth it.”

Gossan stares at Gabbro for a long moment, then sighs heavily and leans against the wall of the ruin. “I’m glad you two are with each other. And not just ‘cause of how bad this’d be for someone to deal with alone.”

Gabbro gives Gossan a sideways look. “Is that approval, Gossan?”

“Suppose so. Not like you’d care if it wasn’t.” Gossan smirks. “I haven’t seen a couple fall this hard for each other since before the Venture was founded. Circumstances aside, it’s pretty nice to see you two fit together so well.”

“Tell that to Chert.” Gabbro says, before they can stop themself. They grimace, then look straight down at the tile. “Sorry. No. I don’t mean that.”

Gossan pats Gabbro’s shoulder again. “I know you don’t. You know Chert was just worried. But I also know that doesn’t make it hurt less, does it?”

Gabbro nods quietly.

“When this is all over, you can worry about convincin’ other people. Or not. Y’don’t owe other people an explanation of all this.” Gossan says. “Just hold on to each other, figure out what’s going on, and get out of it so we can help you again. Alright?”

Gabbro hesitates. The question they’ve been keeping from Sanidine rises, unbidden, but they force it back down their throat with a swallow. Gossan doesn’t have an answer any more than Sanidine will about what they do if the Sun can’t be saved. And there was a Gabbro who might’ve been fine with that, been able to accept that the end had to come without trouble, right up to the point that they fell in love with their fellow time traveler and everything flew out the window. “Alright. We will, Gossan. Thanks.”

“Got it!” Sanidine yells, holding up their hands triumphantly. The pad surges violet instead of white, the panel in the center inverted to reveal a mirrored black hole core. Sanidine snaps the internals shut and picks up the translator to holster it. “If I read this right, this should work! Quick, one of you pull up your system map while you get over here! Each time a planet aligns with Timber Hearth, it might pull us!”

“You don’t know which one will work?” Gossan asks, while Gabbro’s pulling their helmet on. They tweak the display, pulling Gossan onto the platform.

“Giant’s Deep in thirty seconds.” Gabbro adjusts the helmet’s controls underneath their left ear. “Then the Twins in one minute.”

“Alright, call that good timing then. Stars, I hope we don’t need to wait for the Station or Brittle Hollow.” Sanidine says, glancing up. The sun is starting to set, engorged and red, and it makes their head spin to see it from Timber Hearth. They pull their helmet on reluctantly, hoisted to their feet by Gabbro. “Please, come on.”

Thirty tense seconds. No response from the pad. Gossan frowns, putting a hand on each of their students’ shoulders.

The pad activates after thirty more, and the three Hearthians are sucked inward-

-and out again. The heat is oppressive, it’s the first thing they feel, even through their spacesuits. The sun burns hot and red and dying outside, casting its blood as light across the inner wall of the structure they’ve appeared in.

The second thing they notice, as one, are the trees.

Timber Hearth’s pines are unique. They’ve never been found on any of the other worlds unless a Hearthian brings them there. Their grasses, their bushes, even their dirt, uniquely theirs.

Except there it is, scattered about them in carefully maintained plots, protected from Ash Twin’s dangerous sand and heat by Nomai ingenuity. Even with part of the ceiling shattered above, the technology at play here keeps the displays safe and, inexplicably, alive.

“Ash Twin.” Sanidine finally breathes into their helmet’s microphone. “This one goes to Ash Twin.”

Gossan steps off the pad first, pulling the other two gently along. “Come on. Don’t want that to send you back.”

“I don’t know if it can.” Sanidine says. “How in the stars did the Nomai manage all this? These trees should’ve died I don’t even know how long ago!”

“Definitely sooner than, what, almost three hundred thousand years?” Gabbro laughs in disbelief, and Sanidine relaxes into the sound.

“What?” Gossan asks, and the pair glance back at their mentor.

“We found, uh, some kind of Nomai status computer. Based on that, they lived close to three hundred thousand years ago.” Sanidine says.

“We don’t know an upper limit on how long pines can live,” Gabbro adds, “But I’m pretty sure even the Keepers would agree this is probably a record. Especially in these conditions. I wonder if the wood’s strong? Or the sap?”

Gossan can’t help but smile. They’re tired, they’re afraid and they’re hurting, but there’s a glimmer of something almost familiar underneath it all. “I can’t wait to hear about all of this again, y’know.”

“I-” Sanidine falters briefly. “I’ll tell you everything. Every second of it, once we can. I promise.”

“You better. I won’t ‘preciate it if you leave anything out.” Gossan glances at the doors. “I’ve never landed on Ash Twin during its draining season before. Mind if we step outside?”

“Be nice to see what’s out there.” Sanidine shrugs, looking to Gabbro.

“Haven’t seen it go from up close like this yet, either.” Gabbro shrugs, looping their shoulder under Sanidine’s arm again. They wander to the door, Gossan following behind, and for a moment the ball jitters as they both try to trigger it.

Gabbro takes it when Sanidine finally relents. If Gossan were aware of the way they’d juggled it back and forth like hatchlings playing tug of war, they might’ve both gotten a knock upside the head for it, even with Sanidine’s injury.

The bridge ahead is remarkably intact, despite its age. Ash Twin is completely empty of sand at this point in the loop, and the three Hearthians sit down on the edge of the bridge to watch their star as it dies, Gabbro glancing down at the glistening core of the strange world.

Its sparkle is familiar. They decide to remember that for later, looking back up at the bloated star that dominates the sky.

They hope it’s not in pain.

Gossan puts a hand on Sanidine’s shoulder again, sitting on their other side from Gabbro. “There’s something for you. In your ship, when you wake up, it’s in the storage compartment.”

“Oh. Yeah, I found it.” Sanidine nods. “The, uh, the gift. Was it your idea, or?”

“The scarf was. I don’t get involved in the instrument choices, and I told them I wasn’t sure about that one.” Gossan sighs. “Much as I hate to admit it, though, it really does fit you, I think.”

“I still think all of you lost your stars-dazzled minds, giving them something like that.” Gabbro says, glancing past Sanidine at Gossan.

“It’s fine.” Sanidine says, shaking their head. “It’s different enough. We agreed. Only problem is that neither one of us knows the first thing about learning to play it.”

Gossan looks up at the sun again. “That’s Esker’s territory. Would’ve sent you their way anyway, on a normal launch, and they would’ve taught you.”

Sanidine leans into Gabbro. “Esker’s not gonna be any easier to talk to than anyone else.”

“I think you should do it anyway. Sooner ‘n later.” Gossan taps the stone under their hand. “Maybe keep you two from forgettin’ how to talk to us at all for a little while longer.”

Gabbro’s turn to sigh now. “You think we actually remember? It’s only working out with you because you believed us and you aren’t acting like we’ll fall to pieces if you let us do things our way.”

“Well,” Gossan considers their words for a moment. “I’m horrified. You’re both hurtin’ so much that most of the time, I don’t think I recognize either one of you. You’re terrified of your home, you’re talkin’ about dying like it’s an inconvenience, you kept lookin’ at everyone you saw like you were seeing a dead body. It’s hard for me to stomach. But it’s real, and pretending it ain’t isn’t goin’ to help you any. Based on everything you said, I’ll forget all this before I stop being able to keep my head up.”

“You see what I mean? You are the exact same way.” Gabbro says, nudging Sanidine, which earns them another grunt.

“Do I want to know?” Gossan asks.

“Not really.” Sanidine says. They all stiffen as the sun suddenly begins to collapse in on itself.

For the barest of moments, the star is replaced by a brilliant blue-white orb against the inky black around it, probably smaller than the planet they sit on. Gossan swallows their fear.

“Good luck, you two.”

And then the star explodes outward. The shockwave hits them quickly, and the time buddies watch the plasma approach almost casually.

It’s getting too bright to look at. It’s too hot. It’s so hot, it’s burning, the suits are catching fire.

The universe ends.

Chapter Text

Sanidine wakes up with a slow inhale. The agony of the supernova is somehow lessened when it’s so close, but it still lingers in their scales, warm and unpleasant like standing too close to a fire.

They sit up and look at Slate, and their mouth quirks. Slate knows they’re related. Slate knows this is their hatchling they’re sending into space.

They wonder what it feels like for their parent when Slate brightens at them getting up. “Hey, there’s our pilot!”

It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t make it any less difficult to see the shipwright past the flames in their mind. None of it matters until they break free of the loop.

Not to Slate, anyway. Not long-term. But then, what was it Gossan once told them about things mattering, even if they wouldn’t matter forever?

“Hey, Slate.” They nod, getting up and heading for the elevator. “Thanks for watching out for me.”

Slate’s eyes dart across Sanidine’s face, and their ears twitch. “Something up, hatchling?”

“Nah.” Sanidine punches in the launch codes before Slate can say anything more. “Just wanted to say it before I head out.”

They’re at the top of the platform by the time Slate processes their tone. The founder prods at their fire a few more times, curses inarticulately, then gets up and heads for the zero-g cave to speak with Gossan about their hatchling’s odd behavior.

Sanidine’s in orbit before Slate gets there, and they switch on the radio and angle for Giant’s Deep. “Gabbro?”

“Sani.” Gabbro lets out a breath they’ve been holding. “Nice to hear your voice normally this time, love.”

“No kidding.” Sanidine sighs, going to get their scarf on. They pause, tugging at the fabric once it’s securely around their neck. Hopefully no need for their suit just yet. “I know I don’t have to say anything. But thanks for coming to get me.”

“You’re right. You don’t have to even bring it up.” Gabbro’s smiling. Sanidine can hear it, and it makes them smile too. “But I do want you to keep talking.”

“Oh, you’re demanding this loop.” Sanidine teases, sitting down to eat. They poke at their can of tinned mushrooms. “We should go see Esker this time around.”

Gabbro inhales sharply.

“I know. I just.” Sanidine closes their eyes. “I want to do it while we can still handle talking to any of them. We’re getting worse, Gabbro.”

“We are.” Gabbro agrees, flatly. “Are you sure we’re ready for Esker, though? They’ll know something’s wrong just as much as everyone else does.”

“Not much we can do about that. You heard Chert. We’re wrong.” Sanidine sighs, opening their eyes to resume eating. “Might as well find out how Esker’s going to react, get my harmonica taken care of, and hopefully never have to come back to Timber Hearth again until after everything is done.”

“We’ll make a date of it.” Gabbro says, suddenly. “Check out the ruins. Visit the southern settlement together. Then if we do have to come back at least our last visit was a good one. Medicine to soothe the ache, honey to soothe the throat, and all that.”

“A date?” Sanidine asks, grinning a bit. “Is that a thing we’re allowed to do?”

“Who’s going to tell us no? If the universe hates the idea then we’ll find out when we wake up suddenly again.” Gabbro laughs.

Sanidine can’t help but laugh, too. After being kicked around so much, the idea that the universe might be that petty just feels believable enough to joke about.

They spend the rest of the trip to Giant’s Deep discussing what to look for at the Southern Settlement. Honey is a given, if there’s any left from the first harvest of the season. Fresh produce. Maybe see if any of the more adventurous sorts had pulled some Nomai artifacts out of one of the geysers again.

Maybe pick up some saplings for Esker, even. They would die before they could even take root, but at least it’d be nice to pretend.

Look at the Nomai cave ruins. See if they could get the door open, since nobody had yet gotten inside, and nobody wanted to use a destructive method of entry. But then, nobody else was in a time loop.

“If it’s stubborn, we’ll just ram the stupid thing.” Sanidine mutters, easing their ship into the clouds of Giant’s Deep.

“This is how we get stuck on Timber Hearth again. We could at least go steal something explosive from Slate instead. Or just ask. I’m sure they’d be willing to help you-”

“If you don’t stop right there I’m going to land on you and you’re going to hate it.” Sanidine says, with a tight grin.

Gabbro just laughs, and it’s the most beautiful thing Sanidine has ever heard, just like it always is.

Having learned nothing from Chert’s disappointment, or perhaps actively rebelling against it, Gabbro slides under the ship while Sanidine’s thrusters are still firing and pops into the cabin before the struts finish settling once again. They tap the mug of medicine twice, and Sanidine glances back with a grimace.

“I was hoping you’d forget.” They admit, launching again and accelerating out of Giant’s Deep’s atmosphere.

Gabbro smirks. “It’d be easier to forget my own name than anything about you.”

“Such a flirt.” Sanidine sighs, taking the mug and downing it, then- as usual- receiving a marshmallow from Gabbro to stuff in their mouth and sagging into their seat. They set the autopilot without looking, trying to focus on the sugar and not the awful bitter-salty aftertaste.

That taste is still harder to get used to than the supernova, they decide.

The trip is largely spent with Sanidine laying against Gabbro’s chest, and they both simply relax into being whole again, eyes closed. After spending so much time without each other last loop, they crave this contact like a plant craves the sunlight.  

Even when the ship’s autopilot chirps, alerting them to the retrorocket burn, they don’t immediately get up.

“Sani,” Gabbro murmurs, “You gotta land the ship.”

Sanidine grunts.

“C’mon. We can do this another loop.” Gabbro doesn’t open their eyes, and the weight on them doesn’t move either. They don’t really want Sanidine to get up any more than they want to themself. It’s like the time before the loop, where they could simply close their eyes on their hammock and waste half a day doing nothing, only now they aren’t alone.

Unfortunately for them both, they really shouldn’t stay laid down like this, not with the Attlerock giving Esker a chance to spot their idle ship in orbit.

“I’m going to push you off.” Gabbro says, and they smirk when Sanidine grunts again and starts to move.

“Liar. You’d just jostle me a bit before giving up.” Sanidine accuses. They roll off of their partner and land on their back. “And we’d both be happier that way.”

“You’re forgetting one crucial detail, love.” Gabbro stretches their arms out as they sit up. “Esker isn’t going to ignore the rookie’s ship, idle and in orbit, not responding on the radio.”

Sanidine groans, long and low and annoyed, before pushing smoothly through sitting up and onto their feet. “When we’re out of this, if I hear someone call me rookie or hatchling ever again, I’m punching them. And stars forbid they try to say I’m not experienced enough to fly anywhere in this system.”

“When we’re out of this, you and I can spend a week orbiting the white hole and nobody can tell us otherwise.” Gabbro agrees. “Meanwhile, check your radio. Signal light is on and we don’t need Esker trying to fly out here to check on us.”

Sanidine grumbles, but they lean around the pilot’s seat to tune the radio onto the tight-band inbound frequency. “Receiving.”

“Ah, Sanidine! Having radio trouble?” Esker asks. They sound as chipper as ever.

Gabbro suspects they’re faking it. Still, no point lying. “Nah, you old rock lizard, they were picking me up and I had them distracted.”

“Gabbro! Be honest, hatchling, did they lose their ship again?”

Sanidine gives Gabbro a pat on the arm. “It went wandering on its own, and they heard I was launching today. When they asked on the radio I thought I’d take pity on them and give them a ride.”

"Sure it did, hatchling, sure it did. You two come by and see me when you finish up with your other business, you hear me? It's tradition, Sanidine! And I haven't seen you in ages, Gabbro!"

“Will do, Esker. Thanks.” Sanidine says, sitting down at the controls and rubbing their hands. The shaking is settling into them, and they do take a moment to appreciate that for everything else last loop tormented them with, their hands were so much more confident throughout.

Oh well. No time for that. They kill the radio and accelerate, burning south away from the Crater. This time of year, there shouldn’t be any ships landing at the Southern Settlement’s pad. They might even be lucky enough to get done and leave before word trickled back home along radio waves that they were there at all.

Timber Hearth is the shining jewel of the Hearthians’ system, their precious homeworld. And the Crater is its bustling hub of technology and science. But the Crater isn’t the only major settlement on the planet, nor is it the most populous, nor the oldest.

The most populous is the Southern Settlement, a sprawling trade hub and agricultural juggernaut. As the only permanent settlement larger than a few cabins in the southern hemisphere, there was never any real reason to give it any more specific of a name. Trading caravans from the Southern Settlement can be found everywhere on Timber Hearth, and the traders’ distinct wagons can be seen easily even from the air. They follow well-worn paths to the other three cities, bringing the bounty of the Southern Settlement to every other place they can.

In the spring and summer months, the honey produced by the impressively-sized apiary on the edge of the Southern Settlement is the hottest foodstuff around, prized by bakers and brewers the planet over as much as it is enjoyed on its own. In the winter and fall, traders carry preserved foods and medicinal herbs from the Southern Settlement’s storehouses, exchanging them for heaters and tools from the Crater, wood and fuel from Youngbark, and wool and milk from the Geyser-Homes in the north.

The Southern Settlement is the only city on good enough terms with the Crater to engage with the Venture. Southerners of all ages from the Settlement’s trade caravans prize the opportunity to see a launch or meet an astronaut while in the Crater’s protective walls. Where the Geyser-Dwellers loathe the Venture enough to make diplomacy with the Crater as a whole difficult, and Youngbark sees the Venture as exceptionally dangerous and foolish, the Southerners went so far as to accept Rutile’s heartfelt offer to build a double landing pad at a safe distance.

Perhaps it’s no surprise that trade between the Southerners and the Crater sometimes involves large enough items that one of the astronauts has to transport them. No other settlement is willing to have one of the famously flammable vessels anywhere near their territory.

It’s this pad that Sanidine angles toward, and they’re relieved that both halves of it are empty. No surprise encounters with their fellows this loop.

They bring the ship in and land, only ever so slightly off-center. It’s enough to make them slap the throttle into neutral instead of easing it, but they lean their head forward against the console immediately after and whisper “Sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

Then they get up and retrieve their love from their position near the equipment rack. The time buddies make sure everything’s locked down properly, Sanidine retrieves their translator and slings the strap of its pouch over their shoulder. They make sure their flight jacket is properly zipped, and while Gabbro adjusts their scarf, they’re busy straightening out their lover’s jacket instead.

When was the last time they cared about appearances like this? Long before the loops, that was for sure, and even those were the same quiet adjustments to straighten out coats or properly layer scarves, never anything more.

Still, Sanidine thinks, it’s worthwhile to represent the Venture well even if it won’t matter in the long run. It’s something Gossan drilled into them from the very beginning of their apprenticeship, and while they’d rebelled at the time against making sure their apprentice’s jacket and later flight jacket were properly zipped up or tucking in their shirt to look presentable in front of Rutile, they were absolutely going to do everything in their power to make the Venture proud when in one of the other cities.

They step back and admire Gabbro, who now wears a scarf of their own. They’ve pulled it off their spacesuit and slipped it around their neck, that familiar drab green that seemed more comfortable than boring anymore. They’re wearing it more casually than the tight wind they usually have it in, closer to the length that Sanidine lets hang down their back.

Sanidine resists the urge to wisecrack, instead leaning forward and up to kiss their partner.

They separate, both of them beaming at each other.

“You look nice.” Sanidine says. It’s been a while since they saw Gabbro actually zip their jacket up when not in their spacesuit. It accents just how wiry and lean Giant’s Deep has made them over the last two years.

“So do you.” Gabbro says. “That scarf really fits you, you know.”

“Heh. I hope I remember to tell Gossan that.” Sanidine says, their smile not faltering. They lean down and open the hatch. “After you.”

“You’re so kind.” Gabbro says.

And the pair disembark onto Timber Hearth once more.

Chapter Text

The air at the Southern Settlement is noticeably warmer than it is at Timber Hearth’s Crater this time of year. It’s the beginning of spring here, as compared to the Crater’s falltime weather. Geysers still dot the scenery, their minerals and water helping to provide for the abundance of healthy crops and plains grasses that surround the thriving city.

Before Sanidine and Gabbro can get off the pad, a stern-looking Hearthian approaches with a clipboard and a pencil, peering at them past a set of glasses on their upper eyes. They’re wearing the white-and-green uniform of the Southern government, and they look up at the ship for a moment before addressing the astronauts.

“Well, this is a surprise. Gabbro, is this a new one? I thought yours was smaller.” They say, tapping the pencil’s eraser against the papers on the clipboard.

Sanidine glances at Gabbro, raising a brow and grinning. It makes sense enough that the older astronaut has been to the settlement before, but the reception makes it sound like they’re on almost personal terms with the pad’s record-keeping staff.

Gabbro elbows them gently to get them to face forward again, though it’s entirely possible Actino has already got their suspicions about the nature of their relationship. “Nah, you know I’m not that lucky. This one belongs to my buddy here. Sanidine, this is Actinolite, the traffic manager for the Southern Settlement. Actino, this is Sanidine, our newest astronaut.”

“Ah! I remember us being advised there would be a launch today.” Actino scribbles something onto their clipboard, then chews the eraser of the pencil a little bit. “You came here on your first launch?”

“Well first I went to get Gabbro off Giant’s Deep.” Sanidine says, defensively. “And then I came here, because I wanted something better to eat than my ration kit.”

“Mhm. Well, can I put down that this isn’t official Crater business, then?” Actino asks, already writing. Sanidine’s not sure the official actually cares about them responding, much to their annoyance, but they also aren’t sure they want to get into an argument over it.

Gabbro probably wouldn’t let them fight anyway. And Gabbro would be right not to, as much as it annoys them to admit it to themself.

So Sanidine settles for a “Well, yeah. Obviously.”

This still earns them another elbow from Gabbro, and they cross their arms. They haven’t actually been to the Southern Settlement before, and they’re starting to wonder if getting in is a hassle like this every time.

“Mhm.” Actino replies, then nods. “Alright. You two are cleared on in.”

“Appreciated, Actino.” Gabbro says. Sanidine just grunts, and the pair start walking.

They freeze when Actino speaks up again. “Oh, Sanidine? Take good care of my sibling, won’t you? I’ve never seen them look at someone like that before, and I’m quite fond of the smile on their face.”

Sanidine stares up at Gabbro. They manage to make a sort of half-wheezing half-squeaking noise in response, and Gabbro grabs their arm to pull them along, both of them turning a deep shade of purple.

Actino waits until they’re out of earshot before starting to laugh, returning to their post across the trail from the landing pad. Their younger sibling is in good hands, if they got that kind of reaction and no actual denial.

Sanidine finally recovers enough to slow Gabbro’s walking, gawking at the taller astronaut like they had grown a second head. “Sibling? That Southerner thing? I didn’t know you were Southern!”

“I’m not.” Gabbro rolls their lower eyes as the two approach the actual settlement gate. “Our shared parent was a member of a caravan, and last I heard they were spending more time in Youngbark than either city this side of the Hearth, and you will not bring this up to anyone else.”

“Aw, c’mon, love. Nobody’s gonna care that much.” Sanidine grins wide, then yelps when Gabbro flicks them in the forehead, stopping to give their partner a put-on look of offense. “Hey!”

“Not a word. Or the first thing the entire Venture hears after the loops will involve your parents.” Gabbro says, stopping as well.

Sanidine huffs, deflated. “Fine. You’re right. I don’t think I get it, but I’ll keep my mouth shut.”

Gabbro shrugs. “Tell you what. Maybe some other time I’ll really give it some thought. It hasn’t exactly come up with anyone since I was a lot younger, and we spent all of last loop dealing with the dark parts of our own heads, so maybe let’s keep trying to relax a little?”

“Mm.” Sanidine closes their eyes for a moment, then nods. “Alright. Sorry, Gabbro, it’s just that learning something new about you is kind of exciting. Feels like we already know most everything there is to know about each other, sometimes.”

“I hope not.” Gabbro says, reaching for Sanidine’s hand. They smile at the familiar scales, running their thumb across them slowly. “Once we get out of this, I want to learn all the little things.”

“The little things?” Sanidine smiles back. “Like what, my favorite flower or something? Am I going to have to think of answers to that stuff?”

“‘Fraid so, time buddy.” Gabbro says, and the pair start walking again. “What your favorite color of sky is, too.”

“See, I knew this whole loving an artist thing would come back to bite me.” Sanidine says, waving their other hand vaguely. “Next you’re going to tell me I’ll have to prefer a variety of Porphy’s tea.”

Gabbro briefly considers commenting on how Sanidine’s parent is more likely to care about that, specifically, but they’ll be passing into the settlement proper soon, and the place looks as busy as ever. They try not to feel apprehensive at the sight of the crowds- they’ve never been much for large groups of people, and the loop has done nothing to improve that. “That’s between you and Porphy.”

Sanidine does bristle a bit, squeezing Gabbro’s hand. They could generally handle crowds before the loops began, but even at this distance the sound of so many voices makes their head buzz a little bit. “Yeah.”

They slow, then stop just inside the gate. Then Sanidine pulls Gabbro off the paved main street and into the shade, and the pair stare into each other’s eyes for a moment, searching for the bravery to keep walking inward toward the city’s famous market.

“Are you okay?” Sanidine asks, voice hovering just above a whisper. They’re not sure if they’re okay, but Gabbro being able to handle this will make it easier for them to convince themself they can.

“No.” Gabbro admits. “But I’m trying to be. You?”

Sanidine grimaces. “It’s already too loud.”

“I know.” Gabbro presses their forehead against Sanidine’s. “We won’t stay long, then. Just enough to grab something for Esker.”

“Just don’t let go of me.” Sanidine says, and it’s a little more desperate than they really want it to be.

Gabbro squeezes Sanidine’s hand tight. “Never.”

They make their way into the crowd. The overlapping voices make both of their heads spin a bit.

Sanidine misses the Hanging City. The protection of its quiet and the veil of its isolation. Even the main paths of the Crater were at least mostly tolerable. In comparison, this feels like their head is being smothered in noise, and every stranger that brushes against their arm makes them want to start running.

They hate this. They never used to feel this way.

Gabbro’s not faring much better. It’s a shame, really, they think. They’d first visited when they returned home for their first resupply, and though they’d never claim to have enjoyed the crowds, they could usually shut them out better than this.

The stalls’ bright colors are at least still a pleasant distraction for them both, and in order for them both to stay grounded, Gabbro starts pointing out the textiles from various settlements and camps on sale at one shop, then the dyes at another. Sanidine isn’t quite listening to the words at first, trying to strain their ears to focus on the way Gabbro sounds more than on the things they’re saying.

Gabbro points out a vendor selling custom bred peppers, and finally Sanidine starts to respond (they’re actually not a huge fan of spicy food, thanks) and now they’re talking again, at least enough to start volleying opinions back and forth around their anxieties. There, a book shop that sold Gabbro some extra physics textbooks. There, some cut gems that Sanidine thinks would look nice in the ship’s cabin someday.

And past many throngs of people, the first fresh honey of the season is being bargained and traded at a cluster of booths nearly dead-center. The perfect gift for someone who spends their days well removed from the Hearth’s bounty.

At least, that’s what they’re both kind of hoping. It better be, considering the way the bodies press in around them, the way it sets Gabbro’s teeth on edge and makes Sanidine want to scream. Too much contact, too many voices, too many people.

They finally wrestle their way through to one of the vendors, still clinging tightly to each other’s hands.

“Well, well! Astronauts!” The vendor leans forward, sliding a jar of honey between their hands. “‘Fraid I can’t offer you any free, even if it is an exciting occasion to get Ventures-folk at my counter. What’ve you got for offer?”

Sanidine’s mind goes blank. What? Gabbro never mentioned bringing anything to offer.

They’re about to panic when their time buddy produces a small bag from their jacket pocket. Gabbro might not be able to conjure up the placid smile they wore so easily in the past, but their tone manages to mask the stress they’re both feeling perfectly. “I would never dream of taking the greatest treasure this side of the crater wall without an equal trade. Let me bring your eyes to the bounty of Giant’s Deep.”

They upturn the bag onto the counter, revealing what Sanidine recognized as several dozen of Giant’s Deep’s finest grasses and lichens.

Every single one completely, categorically, utterly worthless for anything save Porphy’s mad concoctions, as far as they can recall.

“These are genuine offworld herbs and mosses, stolen from the stormy leviathan by my own hands, purely to offer the lucky beekeeper who happened to receive me first. This one, the smoke has medicinal properties that can make even the ugliest of coughs fade. This one mashed with pure water makes a salve that cures burns. And this one!”

They pointed. This one, indeed, an ugly little root that had probably been half-buried in the sand.

“This one tastes incredible when peeled, dried, and shaved onto fresh fish.”

Sanidine can’t help but feel impressed. They know that every single thing out of Gabbro’s mouth must be an ever-escalating lie, but even they feel pulled along by the storyteller in their element. They’re halfway sure the beekeeper will see through Gabbro’s claims, but instead the other Hearthian is hanging onto every word.

Maybe Gabbro has only forgotten how to lie to those who know them, because this one is just as expertly crafted as the best of their fireside tales.

“All yours, in exchange for that jar of honey.” Gabbro says, smiling warmly.

“Hm! Hearth’s name, you came prepared.” The vendor nods, sliding the jar across the wood. Gabbro catches it easily in their free hand, never having released Sanidine with their other. “By all means, then! And please, pass along the word to any other Ventures-folk looking for honey. Tell them that Leuco is always happy to welcome them, won’t you?”

“With pleasure, buddy. I’ll be sure to come back later in the season, too, with more to offer. Geysers’ favor to you.” Gabbro winks, clicks their tongue, then turns and pulls Sani along through the crowd again before Leuco can get out a ‘and to you!’.

Sanidine can’t keep the stupid grin off their face the entire way back out away from the central stalls, the crowd feeling so much more manageable now that they’re pushing their way toward the ship again. Once they’re through the worst of it, they bump into Gabbro with their shoulder. “I almost forgot you were so good at telling tales.”

Gabbro hums curiously, but they can’t fight the grin on their own face either. “That weird root does actually taste nice on fish. Kind of warm-spicy. No idea what the other two are good for, but Porphy asked for more of them when I got back with the statue the first time, so they must be something decent.”

“Huh. I was absolutely sure you made all of that up..” Sanidine shrugs. “What was that about Geysers’ favor? That was new to me.”

“Ah. It’s a thing with the farmers down here.” Gabbro says. “The geysers provide a lot of extra water and minerals to the soil, and the farmers appreciate it. So it’s polite to offer them good-wishes, in the hopes the geysers hear and decide to cooperate.”

“Do you think they do?” Sanidine asks. They would never have wondered that before the loops, but now they’re almost certain Gabbro’s odd sort of wisdom speaks to something running just under the surface of the universe. At least, they hope it does. It feels like it really should.

“Sometimes.” Gabbro chuckles. “But I think the ones down here are more temperamental than the ones back home. That’s why they need to be asked to show favor, you know? They have attitudes. Ours back home are nice and regular, unless they get backed up.”

Sanidine nods. “I see. I’ll keep that in mind if we ever decide we’re up to a return trip.”

Gabbro breathes deep, then nods back. They can’t take much more of the noise, but the gate is in sight, and with it the promise of the crowd thinning out and the air feeling less heavy in their lungs. They can come back once the loops are over, once they’re able to re-learn how to handle large groups of people.

Supposing that day ever comes.

They shake their head to clear it, and the open trail beckons, and they step out of the Southern Settlement once more. Both of them can immediately feel the tension leaving their partner, and they lean into each other as they slow down, the immediate pressure to rush and keep each other distracted fading along with the sound of others’ voices.

Sanidine squeezes Gabbro’s hand once. Gabbro squeezes back. They don’t say anything for a moment. They don’t need to.

They’re greeted by Actino at the pad. This time they aren’t looking quite as severe. Sanidine isn’t sure if they should feel relief or not yet.

“Just swung by for some honey?” They ask, while Sanidine pats the ship’s nose landing strut.

“Gift for a friend.” Gabbro says.

Actino considers that, as Sanidine disappears into the gravity lift. They give it a curious glance, then return their attention to their sibling. “Fair enough. Must be someone special.”

Gabbro shrugs. “Only if they promise to actually eat it. Thanks for the hospitality, Actino. We’ll see you again sometime.”

“You better.” Actino smiles. “And you better bring your Sanidine with you. I much prefer my sibling smiling, after all.”

Gabbro turns purple once again, and they stammer out a hasty ‘Wouldn’t dream of going anywhere without them’ before slipping into the gravity beam and vanishing from sight.

Actino steps back off the pad to give the ship room, and they’re still smiling when its engines come alive. They muse that, in another life, they would’ve been a pilot. Once they’re clear, and Sanidine can see that they’re clear, they listen to the ship’s engines roar, and watch it burn into the sky once more.

Chapter Text

Sanidine orbits Timber Hearth once.

The two astronauts take a moment to appreciate the quiet of their little ship. The Southern Settlement was aggressively loud and crowded, and the pair haven’t handled a group of people like that in over a month. So Sanidine lets the ship lazily drift around Timber Hearth, and they say nothing for most of its orbit.

It’s only once they pass over Youngbark Crater that either of them stirs, and it’s Gabbro, because Sanidine has their eyes closed. “Is that smoke?”

Sanidine blinks their eyes open, then leans forward to look, frowning. “That looks like smoke, yeah. And a lot of it. Should we check it out?”

“We should probably radio first.” Gabbro observes. “You know how the Keepers can get about ships dropping in on them unannounced.”

“Ugh. Yeah, I know. Alright.” Sanidine rubs their temples. “Can you get me the frequency for their channel? Not like I have it memorized.”

“Sure. But you get to do the talking.” Gabbro says, and they grin at their partner’s groaning.

The Timber Hearth radio codes are printed on the interior of the medical kit’s lid. It’s a generally assumed best practice holdover from the days when crashes were still relatively limited to the familiar soil, and while the list has a few non-Timber Hearth frequencies on it now, the basic function hasn’t changed. Gabbro traces a finger down the page, then looks back at the cockpit. “Youngbark Keeper communication radio is nine three point three five.”

“On it.” Sanidine says, tuning the ship’s radio stack quickly. They mistype the five as a two and let out a word that’s probably a swear if you squint, then take a deep breath and try again a bit more slowly.

The frequency comes to life immediately with discussion. Some kind of spaceborne debris. Sounds organic. The two astronauts look at each other, and Gabbro shrugs at Sanidine’s confusion.

They thumb the send switch to open and clear their throat, trying to remember the official way to address someone outside the Venture on the radio. “Youngbark Keepers, this is the Outer Wilds Ventures ship Pioneer Seven. I’m in orbit and noticed the smoke from Youngbark Crater. You need assistance down there?”

“Pioneer Seven?” A familiar voice asks. “Hah. Sanidine, that you?”

“Tektite! Is this what your urgent business was about?” Sanidine asks, ears perked up. The head of the Crater’s Tree Keeper force had left for Youngbark three days before the start of the loops in response to something or another. Sanidine had been too excited to pay attention then.

“‘Fraid so, hatchling. Nothing I need to distract you from your first launch for, though!” Tektite laughs. “If you see Hal and Marl, have Esker fly them out my way, though? Could still use extra hands.”

“Ah, yeah. If you’re sure.” Sanidine glances at Gabbro. “I’ll pass it along.”

Gabbro shrugs noncommittally.

Sanidine shrugs back. “Be safe down there, Tektite. Nice hearing from you.”

“You as well, hatchling! Give my best to the other astronauts!”

Sanidine manages to switch off the send toggle before falling back into the seat and sighing heavily. “Sounds like a mess.”

“It does.” Gabbro says. They stare at the smoke as the ship sails onward, before their orbit takes it out of sight. “Is it selfish of me to say I’d rather not go look until we know any help we give them will last?”

Sanidine fidgets with their harness straps. “I don’t know. I agree with you, at least. Maybe that makes us both selfish.”

“After all of this, I think we might’ve earned the right to be.” Gabbro says. They clap a hand on Sanidine’s shoulder and force a smile. “Alright, love. We’ll worry about that when we can change it. There’s a ruin to go look at.”

Sanidine nods, tuning the radio away from the Youngbark frequency.

For a moment, it seems like everything’s settling again. Then Gabbro snorts.

“Pioneer Seven, though? Slate’s name for the ship?”

“I was going to rename it once I got done with my first launch, but something got in the way.” Sanidine grumbles. “I don’t suppose you have any ideas? It’s ours now. Can’t see that changing.”

Gabbro taps their knee, a gentle rhythm that Sanidine’s unfamiliar with. “My old ship’s name is Rambler. Chert named theirs Stargazer. I think Esker still calls that old hunk of junk on the moon Pioneer Zero, but maybe that’s changed. Riebeck, I think they said they gave theirs a Nomai name, maybe I’d actually know what it means now?”

“It’s just the Nomai word for explorer.” Sanidine stares at the ship’s navigation console, waiting for the ruins to be on a good approach angle. “I mean, it’s a nice word, but it’s not anything fancy. Gossan once said theirs is named Nestwatcher, which I guess makes sense given what they use it for.”

“Your parents’ poor naming skills are no excuse for you and I to call our home Pioneer Seven.” Gabbro says, rolling their lower eyes.

Sanidine grins, turning in the seat to look at their partner. “And I asked you if you had any ideas, so you started talking about everyone else’s ships.”

“I was seeking inspiration, Sani. You wouldn’t understand, it’s an artist thing.” Gabbro grins back.

Sanidine is about to jump out of their seat and tackle their partner to the ground when the ship’s computer chimes. They still stick their tongue out at Gabbro before turning back around to guide the ship back down toward the ruins. Maybe they’ll get them back for being impossible sometime.

The ruins are a part of Ventures history. Nobody is quite sure how to get inside without damaging them, but the bridge out front and the waters below have been mapped thoroughly by Tree Keepers. By Tektite, specifically, long before the ghost matter incident, back when they were the Timber Hearth Crater’s most bold explorer.

That’s why Sanidine sets down away from the bridge. They refuse to risk the history under that water for anything. They’ve wanted to see the ancient mural themself for years, but grainy black and white photographs are all the museum has had to offer.

It took considerable effort to convince Tektite not to bring the thing back with them. Sanidine’s glad it’s remained undisturbed. The pair spend a minute suiting up, checking each other’s jetpack fuel and confirming their radios are set to low-power tight-band. The currents here could easily carry them all the way back to the crater if they’re not careful, and to get picked up at an inopportune moment by an overzealous Hornfels, or worse, Moraine, would be less than ideal.

Sanidine confirms that the translator is secured, then they drop out of the ship and jump down past the bridge, Gabbro in close pursuit.

Both time buddies find the water reassuring, in a way. The heat sinks into their suits, and although they’ve started to enjoy the chill of the Hanging City, there’s nothing quite like the warmth of the geysers to relax a Hearthian. The time loops certainly haven’t changed that.

And there, of course, is the mural.

The pair approach with wide, wondering eyes. It’s as tall as Sanidine is, wide enough that they’re not sure it would fit in their ship, a solid slab of stone thick enough to survive hundreds of thousands of years. Tangible proof that the Nomai once met their ancestors, before the Hearthians became anything capable of contemplating the significance of such an encounter.

Gabbro kneels down in front of it, extending a hand to touch an unpainted part of its surface. They take a deep breath. As impressive as the mural is, the Nomai voices they’ve heard and the project that has snared them makes it feel all the important. A lingering trace of another meeting, in another time. “I forgot this was here. I’m kind of amazed it survived so well.”

Sanidine nods, angling their scout launcher to try to photograph it. It’s still black and white, but at least this model is higher resolution than the last one that was brought out here. They set the send function up. Even if the museum won’t be receiving the photograph, storing it in their ship’s computer seems like the right thing to do.

Before Gabbro notices, they snap a quick picture of their partner examining the artifact. That one’s getting saved too. Maybe they should do this more often. If only the scout launcher wasn’t so awkward to use, especially with their hands shaking. “Hey, scoot over a little so I can get a clean photo.”

“Mm? Oh, right.” Gabbro says, kicking off the rocks and letting themself lazily drift away on their side. Sanidine watches them for a moment, smiling a little.

As soon as the picture is saved, they drop the scout launcher and launch at Gabbro in a burst of jetpack thrust, tackling them and sending them both twisting through the water. They both laugh, Gabbro catching them and leaning into the spin, and once they bounce once off the rocky ground underneath they bonk their helmets together gently.

“You’re ridiculous, Sanidine.” Gabbro says, as their laughter dies to short giggles. Stars above, they needed that laugh.

“And you aren’t?” Sanidine asks, grinning. “Impossible artist. What were you looking so closely for, anyway?”

“You sure you want to know? It’s more artist stuff.” Gabbro says, and Sanidine can hear the way they’re smiling.

“You can tell me while we look around a little more.” Sanidine says, pushing away from Gabbro and rolling upright again. “I think I saw something like writing over there.”

Gabbro shrugs. “It’s not that exciting. I think that image isn’t paint, but I’m not quite sure what it is yet.”

“Huh.” Sanidine considers this, unholstering the translator. “Wonder if those staff things can do artwork too.”

“If we ever find an instruction manual for using them, maybe we’ll find out.” Gabbro says, before brushing some sediment away from a suspiciously glowing spot on the ground. “There’s your writing.”

Sanidine nods. They line up the lens, and both of them smile at the words of their ancient visitors. Coleus, Cycad, and Oeno. New names. A discussion of mining sites.

A discussion of their ancestors, of the quiet joy and wonder the Nomai found in them. The Hearthians stare at the words quietly, and Gabbro wraps Sanidine in their arms.

The smaller astronaut leans back against their partner, lowering the translator with a sigh. “I’d say we thrived pretty well, Coleus.”

“You think they’d be proud of us?” Gabbro asks.

“I hope they would.” Sanidine says. “Check it out. Those weird things you found did pretty good for themselves. They’re exploring space and everything.”

They pause. “Maybe they’d be a little disappointed with the whole, we haven’t figured out this time loop supernova thing, but I blame them for not leaving better notes with those statues”

Gabbro snorts. “It’s only been, what, a month-ish? Hopefully they’d cut us more slack than that.”

“They probably would, wouldn’t they?” Sanidine smiles as they separate. “Probably have a lot more to say about us kissing where we did, in fact.”

“That I can believe easily.” Gabbro says. They drift toward the mural and stop, landing behind the stone to check its opposite side. “You wanna check the sun real quick? Don’t want to be caught by surprise.”

“Mhm.” Sanidine offers Gabbro a thumbs up, then hits their jetpack control and shoots upward to check their ever-present time limit.

Gabbro’s boot catches on something in the dirt, and they kneel down to dig it up. The backside of the mural isn’t that interesting anyway, just blank stone. This, though.

At first, Gabbro thinks it’s just a piece of ore that got washed into this lake somehow. It takes a bit of effort unearthing it for them to realize it’s been forged into some kind of container, about the size of the Little Scout.

Sanidine returns just as Gabbro gets the thing uncovered enough to pull free from the soil, landing with all the grace of a boulder as one of the geysers goes off behind them. Neither of them startles from the sound.

“So, good news bad news.” Sanidine says, yelling a little over the rushing water. “Good news, we have plenty of time. Bad news, while I was up there I checked the door. The orb-thing’s missing.”

Gabbro leans around the mural. “Hm. I guess that explains why nobody ever got in before. That’s okay, I found you a different thing to focus on.”

“Ooh, you get me the nicest presents.” Sanidine says. The sarcasm fades from their voice as Gabbro steps around the mural with the box in their arms. “Whoa, okay. You need a hand there?”

“Nah. We probably want to get this back to the ship before we open it, though.” Gabbro says. They pause, then shrug. “Assuming we can open it. Assuming it opens at all.”

“We’ll know soon enough.” Sanidine says. They close their eyes for a moment. Even underwater, through the heavy suit, they can still focus enough to feel the beating heart of Timber Hearth under their boots. It’s an old trick, one Gossan never taught them. This one burned in their heart, pained memories of Feldspar’s tales, the little details, the method for feeling when a geyser was about to blow.

The vibration in the water, the rumble under their feet. The planet’s blood surging and pushing.

They snap their eyes open and tackle Gabbro again, carrying them both into the geyser-mouth behind their partner just as it erupts. Their hand fumbles once as they ascend, Gabbro yelling something probably unhappy at them, but they manage to grasp both jetpack controls and fire them at the same time, stabilizing them into a somewhat gentle descent toward the grass beside the ravine.

Sanidine’s laughing, and it gets Gabbro started laughing too, but as they land (and tumble onto the grass) the taller astronaut wastes no time giving their partner’s helmet a not-quite-gentle series of slaps. “Warn me next time!”

“Fine, fine!” Sanidine yelps, giggling as they try to fend off Gabbro’s hands. “You act like you never jumped geysers as a hatchling!”

“Not backward with a Hearthian and a box made of ore in my arms!” Gabbro slaps Sanidine’s helmet one more time for good measure, then gets up and retrieves the box in question.

Sanidine grunts, then pushes up to their feet as well. “Don’t pretend. That was fun.”

“It was fun.” Gabbro admits, letting the ship’s gravity lift haul the box up. They follow it in, and Sanidine’s not far behind. “But warn me so I don’t think something happened to you, okay?”

“Ah–”

Sanidine flushes purple as they get their helmet off. “Sorry, Gabbro. I didn’t think about that part.”

“Yeah. It’s fine, Sani.” Gabbro says, pulling their helmet off as well. “Just a moment of worry. Don’t need to see you land wrong if it was an accident, or worse, something happened to your body again.”

Sanidine huffs as they remove the rest of their suit. “The only thing wrong with my body right now is my hands, and you know that.”

“I do know that. Doesn’t mean I won’t get stressed out about that changing.” Gabbro says, setting their boots into the storage compartment.

They manage to be caught off guard when Sanidine pulls them into a tight hug from behind, their partner’s face pressed against the small of their back. “Hey.”

Gabbro blinks at the wall, then sighs and smiles. If they let them, Sanidine will apologize five times over for this and still be thinking about it next loop. The same pitfalls they’ve both been fighting this whole time, even in something as harmless as this. “I know. Don’t say it. Listen, if the door’s broken, we might as well just go to the Attlerock and get this over with. Leave ourselves plenty of time to get away if it turns bad, right?”

Sanidine squeezes them once, then lets go and steps back with a small smile. The playfulness was nice while it lasted, but they both feel a bit more tired for it, like being so close to their old selves is a strain. “Right. Okay. I’m back, I’m good. We’ll open that thing you dug up with Esker, too.”

“Sounds good, Sani.” Gabbro says, assuming their position next to the equipment rack. “Glad we at least got to see the mural.”

“Yeah.” Sanidine says, strapping in and firing up the ship’s thrusters again. “If we find out where Coleus wound up, I don’t know, maybe we can try to at least leave a little token behind. Something like a ‘thank you, we found the message’.”

“I think they’d appreciate that.” Gabbro muses.

Sanidine sighs, throttling up and launching. “I hope so.”

Chapter Text

It’s arguable that the Attlerock is just an extension of the last place either Sanidine or Gabbro really wants to be. The Crater is too familiar, the Southern Settlement is too busy, Timber Hearth’s trees in general smell like ash and death, but the Attlerock still represents a front row seat to the demise of their home in all of its terrible, glorious fire. The only company there is the one Hearthian that seems to always know everything, who might even already know they’re not the same people they used to be somehow.

Both out of trepidation and an abundance of caution, Sanidine is landing several feet outside of the copse of pines there, not daring to get closer first. Their hands threaten to throw them sideways into the branches anyway, and they grit their teeth and feather the pedals, correcting their ship against the danger to avoid giving Esker an even worse day than necessary.

Touchdown. They release the controls and slide forward against the console, hands clenched into tight fists on the screen. Sanidine takes tight breaths, staring at their hands as though they might be able to will them into obedience again.

It’s not enough, but it feels better to try.

They finally come back to the moment when Gabbro puts their hand on their shoulder, and they look up at their partner blankly, trying to keep from showing the way their lungs refuse to fill properly and their thoughts run in circles. It’s nothing new. Gabbro doesn’t need to deal with it.

“I’ve got you.” Gabbro says, and suddenly their lungs are working again. It's like a three-word incantation that drives away the darkness, every time. “You need a minute?”

“Need a lot more than that.” Sanidine says, before getting to their feet. “Think I can handle it, though.”

Gabbro nods, turning to grab their flute and the honey while Sanidine stretches. They both glance at the spacesuits, then Sanidine shrugs and kicks the hatch release, waving Gabbro onward. This close to the Lunar Outpost, there’s nothing to fear. They’ve both spent time enough here to know that much. “After you.”

“Nope.” Gabbro says, before putting their hand on Sanidine’s back and pushing, grinning wildly.

Sanidine yells as they slip through the hatch, landing in a cloud of dust. They have enough time to reflect that they probably deserved that before Gabbro peers down at them with that stupid grin on their face that Sanidine loves so much.

“You gonna move, time buddy? Or should I drop on top of you?”

“Oh, wow, I don’t know, maybe I want you to drop on top of me.” Sanidine replies, but they roll to one side anyway and push themself up. The lack of gravity makes it so simple. They remember loving their trips to the Attlerock for extraplanetary training, purely because of how it feels to move on the lunar surface.

Gabbro drops down afterward, and before Sanidine can move to take revenge, they hold up the honey defensively. “Whoa, whoa. Fragile cargo?”

Sanidine’s got their hands up already, but they roll their lower eyes and drop them at that. “Fine, fine. Guess we probably shouldn’t keep stalling, either, huh?”

“Probably not.” Gabbro glances at the sun. It burns an ever-deepening orange, and they feel a little of their levity fall away at the sight, their bones a little heavier again. It doesn’t help matters that from here, they can see the way the stars spark into their death throes at an ever increasing pace.

Their mind wanders toward Chert again, wondering if they’re poring over the stellar data even now, trying to make sense of it all. They think about Moraine, wondering if the signalscope can pick up the echoes of the dying stars. They think about Tephra and Galena, and their heart starts to grow heavy at the thought that the two will once again have to see the trees catch fire, that not even hiding in the mine will shield them from the heat, until it’s too much, until-

Sanidine snares them, pulls them into their arms, spinning out from under the ship like they’re dancing. The vision falls away and they realize they’re crying again, void take them. They think they’ve been holding up pretty well, trying to be steady for Sanidine, and now they’re leaning back on their partner again instead.

Sanidine looks up at their face, and they place a hand on their cheek. “Hey. Breathe. Can you see me?”

“I’m breathing.” Gabbro mumbles. They squeeze their flute tight, having the presence of mind not to endanger the honey by doing the same to it. Their eyes dart furtively across Sanidine’s face before finally managing to find that pale yellow they know so well, and they sigh deeply. “I’m seeing, too. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. You were pretty far away, for a moment there.” Sanidine says, smiling sadly. “Got lost again?”

“Something like. Hasn’t happened in a while.” Gabbro says, their face flushing lightly. “I’m fine.”

“Neither of us is fine.” Sanidine runs their thumb up to Gabbro’s ear. “So don’t look so guilty on me now, okay? Together, we said.”

Gabbro hesitates, then leans forward to press their forehead against Sanidine’s, sighing again. “We did, didn’t we? Not gonna let me forget, are you?”

“Not ever.” Sanidine says, quietly, before they both lean into a kiss.

They’re still locked together when the sound of Esker clearing their throat comes from the treeline, and the pair jump about two feet into the air, Sanidine whirling to face them while Gabbro’s hands fall to their side. Neither one knows what to say, blushing furiously.

“Well, this is a sight.” Esker says, grinning from under their characteristic hat. “Y’know, when the founders came up here lookin’ for privacy, they usually landed opposite me, hatchlings.”

“Esker, we- I-” Sanidine stammers, then swallows. “We, just got, distracted?”

“Oh, I see that, Sanidine. Not the way I normally hear that Gabbro’s mouth can be distracting, mind you.” Esker laughs, then waves the pair toward the trees. “Ah, but enough teasing. Come on, it’s good to see you both. You’ve got some stories to share, it looks like!”

“Nothing that exciting!” Gabbro exclaims, but Esker’s already started off toward the campfire and they’re already whistling again and, well.

The time buddies look at each other for a moment, both blushing so hot that they could boil Giant’s Deep. Then Sanidine snatches the honey from Gabbro’s hand so they can grasp it tightly, and gives their partner a sheepish grin. “Hypothesis: This isn’t a bad way for this to start, really?”

“Better than most of ours?” Gabbro offers a nervous smile in return. “It beats being asked what’s gotten into us.”

“Agreed.” Sanidine squeezes Gabbro’s hand, then starts walking, opting not to mention that they’re pretty sure Gabbro bit their lip a little bit when they were startled. “Let’s hope things stay like this a little longer.”

The Lunar Outpost is a two-story building that rivals the Observatory in size. Half of it is dedicated to services for the astronauts. Beds, basic medical facilities, a kitchen, a radio switchboard, workbenches for maintaining suits and instruments, baths, even some stored decks of playing cards.

The other half is a workshop that even Slate has called impressive. It’s tall and wide enough to hold a fully constructed ship with ease, and the interior is absolutely laden with tools and equipment for repairs and rebuilds. It hasn’t seen use in a while. Esker’s pretty confident it will soon, though. Hornfels just mentioned the other day that they’ve seen some requests to join the Venture coming in from outside the Crater, and the idea of a busy Venture excites Esker like little else.

They sit in their chair, in the middle of the trees that guard the front step of the astronaut side of the building, tending the same campfire spot that has burned on the Attlerock for years. The fifth founder looks up at Sanidine and Gabbro as they approach and smiles at them, their eyes as sharp as ever, taking in every detail of the pair.

“Sit down, eh? You can take a seat on the log, or I can point you at the spare chairs stowed in the outpost.” Esker says. “Your choice, hatchlings.”

“Log’s fine.” Gabbro says. They sit down, but Sanidine hesitates.

Then they reach across the fire with the honey. “We brought you something. Meant to grab some bread too, or something, but, uh. Anyway, fresh honey from the South.”

Esker’s eyes widen as they take the jar, looking it over in both hands. “Well, stars above, you two. You didn’t have to bring me anything.”

“Then call it a bribe.” Gabbro offers, one arm wrapping easily around Sanidine again as they sit down, like it belongs there. No chance Esker misses that, but neither of them can find it in them to care too much. “So you’ll forgive us for Sani not coming here first.”

“Is that so? Maybe I accept it, then.” Esker chuckles. Unlike most of their encounters to this point, the way the pair settle into each other only brings a slightly deeper smile to the corners of their mouth. Their eyes scan Sanidine’s scarf, and they lean forward in their chair. “I see you found your gifts, Sanidine. That was awfully fast.”

Sanidine opens their mouth to say something, then pauses and reaches down to their belt, pulling the harmonica out of its case. “Yeah. I, uh, wasn’t expecting anything. Especially not a harmonica.”

“Save your complaints about it.” Esker says, with a knowing glint in their eyes. “Slate and Gneiss chose it for you. I only wrote a new part in the music.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Sanidine says, running a thumb over the engraving of their name. “But I’m here for a lesson. We don’t know where to start with one of these.”

Esker’s ears twitch at the word we. Sanidine tenses. They’d really rather not have to explain anything right then, and they feel Gabbro’s hand squeeze gently around their side.

“Well,” Esker says, leaning back again. “I think I can help you out, hatchling. Now, normally this is part of the training, but I’m gonna ask for a story or two in exchange because your instrument is something new. Deal?”

“Deal.” Sanidine says, hand tightening around the harmonica.

“Alright. We’ll go in installments. First thing, I want to know the truth about why you two are traveling together.” Esker says, then holds up their hand when both astronauts stiffen. “Easy there. I’m not objecting. I think it’s a fine thing, whatever you two have going on. But, Gabbro, if you really needed a lift, you would’ve asked an experienced pilot to pick you up from Giant’s Deep. And Sanidine, I’m not going to make you tell me the details, but you launched and went straight there at a speed I haven’t seen since Feldspar. You didn’t tell anyone where you were going, and I know for a fact you didn’t get the launch codes from Hornfels, and weirder yet you didn’t speak to Gossan or Hal. I’m not about to radio anyone, hatchlings, but there’s clearly a story here.”

The pair stare at Esker for a moment, and the weight of the loop crashes back down against them like a wave. Of course Esker noticed Sanidine avoiding the people they normally trust most. Of course Esker knows that Gabbro wouldn’t rely on a rookie pilot for escape from Giant’s Deep. Esker earned their reputation as someone who catches details and knows secrets for a reason, as diluted as that reputation has become with their seclusion on the Attlerock.

Neither of the astronauts has any clue where to begin. They really had gotten hopeful that they wouldn’t have to talk about this with anyone this loop. When the exhaustion in their faces can’t be hidden behind blank stares anymore, Esker’s easygoing smile fades. “Ah. It’s a long story, then.”

“We don’t really want to tell it again. Not right now.” Gabbro says, eyes falling to the fire.

Esker watches them a moment longer, taking in the way they’ve both withdrawn toward each other. Bad business, as they and Feldspar used to say when Gossan and Slate got into a private fight again.

“So don’t.” Esker says, shrugging. “Answer this instead. You two are traveling together on Sanidine’s first ever launch, kissing like the world’s ending, and sitting on that log together like Rutile and I. Whatever else is going on, are you happy with each other?”

“Yes.” Both of them answer at once, no hesitation, eight eyes all meeting Esker’s with sudden determination. Their lives may be completely shattered, their old selves nothing more than cold dust in a future that never happened, their futures chained to ancient machines that they’ve only just begun to understand the purpose of. None of it could make them answer otherwise, because Hearth knows it’s worth it, on some level, to have been thrown together like this.

“That’s all I need to hear.” Esker says, reaching into their pocket and producing a harmonica of their own. It’s a simpler version of Sanidine’s, complete with the odd button on the side. Esker's got a closet full of Gneiss' prototypes, and they've had to learn to teach the basics of every single one that goes further. “Alright. You’ve earned lesson one. Pay attention, now. You hold it like this...”

Chapter Text

It takes a few hours. Esker and Gabbro are patient, even when Sanidine isn’t, and at least once Gabbro has to grab their partner’s wrists and force them to slow down before they get overwhelmed. But eventually, Sanidine starts to produce notes that sound more or less the way they should, and the three of them manage to get through a solid half of the Travelers’ Song without them hitting a sour enough note that they threaten to spike the harmonica into the fire out of frustration.

Esker laughs as Gabbro pries the harmonica away from Sanidine, following them jumping to their feet with a threat to do just that. “Reckon we take a break now, hatchlings. For the harmonica’s sake, hm?”

“Hrnh.” Sanidine grunts, before Gabbro catches them around their waist again and drags them down to sit in their lap. That shuts them up and turns their face and ears bright purple, but they don’t pull away.

Gabbro’s not blushing any less. They’d meant to pull Sanidine down to sit normally again, and now they’re close like this with Esker giving them an aggravatingly neutral smile. The old lizard has always been entirely too good at not giving their thoughts away, even when Gabbro and Sanidine were both actually hatchlings and Esker didn’t spend their days up on the Attlerock, but this is the first time Gabbro’s actually minded it.

“So,” Esker says, tossing their practice harmonica into the air and catching it once. “New question. You two are being safe with each other, yeah?”

Gabbro and Sanidine go from deathly still to scrambling apart in an instant, and it’s only by the grace of the stars that Esker doesn’t start howling with laughter right then. Once the two settle with their hands in their laps beside each other on the log, not looking directly at Esker, Sanidine mutters an “Of course” that’s almost comically stiff.

Still, it answers Esker’s question: these two haven’t so much as taken each other’s clothes off. Nothing to worry about on that front. Of course, Gossan and Slate were much the same once, and more belligerent about there being nothing going on, right up to the point that they weren’t and there was. It’s hard not to wonder how far Sanidine fell from the proverbial tree.

Ah well. Unimportant. For the moment, these two’s oddities aren’t being caused by anything untoward. Esker tosses the harmonica again, then waves their hand dismissively. “Relax, hatchlings, Hearth’s sake. You’re not being interrogated here.”

Both of them visibly relax, and it takes no time at all for Gabbro to be leaning against Sanidine again, and then Sanidine’s leaned in on Gabbro as well, planting their face against Gabbro’s shoulder. Neither of them manages to stop blushing, but they feel a little more at ease just from Esker’s reassurances.

“Thank you.” Gabbro says, quietly. “We’d explain everything if we had it in us.”

“Don’t think we have the time anyway.” Sanidine mutters, trying not to sound as tired as the thought makes them feel.

Esker frowns. This isn’t what they wanted at all. They just wanted to make sure these two young astronauts were taking things seriously, not to send them into whatever this emotional dead-end is. They get up, adjusting their hat, then gesture for the pair to follow. “Come in with me, you two. You look awful. There’s bread and tea and mallows inside, and we can try this honey you brought.”

Sanidine lifts their head to look at Esker for a moment, then looks at Gabbro and offers their partner a small smile. “Be nice to sit down and eat something that doesn’t come out of a can or belong to Porphy’s soups for clinic patients again.”

Gabbro smiles back, getting up and pulling Sanidine with them, not looking away from their eyes. “What, tired of ration packs already?”

“Tired of eating them alone in my ship, maybe.”

Esker clears their throat, and to their credit, they only look half as confused as they feel. “Hate to interrupt, but are you two coming?”

Sanidine makes a sudden uncomfortable half-coughing noise, and Gabbro glances Esker’s way. “Yeah. Sorry. Got caught up in, uh. Sorry.”

“I can see what you got caught up in. Get a move on if you’re gonna.” Esker says, before starting toward the outpost again with a wry smile.

The pair start after them, hand in hand. Neither one wants to acknowledge what they know to be true: they’d simply already forgotten, for a moment there, that they weren’t alone. It’s as unnerving as it is embarrassing, and Sanidine focuses on Esker’s hat ahead of them a little harder than is really necessary, as though that might make up for their lapse in awareness.

The interior of the outpost is relatively plain, wood over metal for the walls and floors. The kitchen is directly to the left of the entry’s comfortable resting area and is large and communal, and the Attlerock stays well stocked thanks to regular supply runs. Despite the chill of the lunar surface, the building remains comfortable thanks to Slate’s thermal regulation innovations, originally designed to keep the Venture’s ships from icing up while in the void. Work rooms line the back wall of the rest area, and a hallway runs off to the right between them and the medical room, heading for the stairs that take astronauts up to the bunks and washrooms.

When Sanidine and Gabbro hesitate at the door, Esker sets down the honey, turns, and walks around behind them to close it. Then they plant their hands on each astronaut’s back, and shove them not-entirely-gently toward the couches in the sitting area. “Let me get things together. Get comfortable. You’re here as guests, not as astronauts.”

“Esker, we can get our own-” Sanidine starts, but they’re interrupted when Gabbro pulls them toward the couch and falls onto it heavily, pulling their partner down to rest against their chest.

“Thank you, Esker.” Gabbro says, as though Sanidine isn’t grumbling a halfhearted, vaguely butchered Nomaian complaint into their jacket. “We appreciate it.”

While Sanidine quietly informs Gabbro that they do not in fact need the oldest astronaut in the Venture to take care of them, thank you, Esker sets about preparing a small tray. The bread’s not quite fresh, but they toss it into the kitchen’s oven for a moment and go about collecting something decent for their guests. A fresh pot of tea, the honey, some small shortbread pieces that Rutile had sent up recently. They retrieve the warm bread, arranging things neatly around the teapot and three cups, then start back toward the couch with a warm smile.

“Ah, it’s been a while since I had a chance to host anyone.” Esker admits, sitting down one couch cushion away from the pair and pouring them cups of tea. “I suppose you two might want a story from me now, hm?”

“Feels like it’s been years since I heard one of your stories.” Sanidine says, fidgeting with their scarf.

“Only if you promise to do voices. Like you used to do at the hatchling house.” Gabbro says, waiting while Esker spreads some honey onto a few slices of bread. They take one and their teacup, and Sanidine fetches their own while ducking under an arm to get out of Gabbro’s lap.

Esker chuckles, and while the three of them enjoy their break, they begin to spin a tale that neither of their visitors have heard before. A thrilling story of how Gossan accompanied Feldspar on the first manned landing out at the Twins, both flying ships not unlike the old machine parked behind the outpost for Esker’s use.

Only, they arrived just as the sand pillar began to flow from Ember to Ash, and Gossan had to bail from their ship. The Twins and the sun worked together to capture them in place, neither planet quite establishing a hold, but the jetpack wasn’t something you could easily wear in your seat in those days and Gossan only had so much time before the pillar returned.

They were caught by Feldspar halfway between the Twins, and they rode Feldspar’s ship down to a rock plateau on Ember Twin, clinging to its hull the whole way. Incredibly, neither of them suffered severe injuries from Feldspar’s rapid landing, and although very little science was accomplished, nobody could doubt either the skill exhibited by both astronauts or the need for the seat to be redesigned to accommodate the Venture’s new jetpacks.

Both of the Time Buddies are enraptured the entire time. Esker always had the best stories, because Esker knew the Founders when they were barely old enough to walk, and not many who could say that found them as entertaining as Esker did.

Neither of them are ready for Esker to suddenly give them an inquisitive stare.  “Now, I won’t pry too much, but hatchlings, I do need to know. Have you really been eating nothing but rations?”

“Been on Giant’s Deep.” Gabbro says, then takes a bite of their bread. It’s not a great answer, but it’s as close to the truth as anything else. Esker already looks highly skeptical, but they glance to Sanidine, as though their excuse will be any better.

“Trying to get ready for space?” Sanidine offers, but it’s flimsy even to them. They stare at their reflection in the tea’s amber surface for a moment, wondering if they wake up looking this hollow and exhausted every time. They grimace at the way the tea shakes, their hands no gentler with the teacup than with their ship’s controls. Rather than look into their own rippling reflection any longer they drink deeply and set the cup down.

Esker taps their finger against their cup’s rim, then shakes their head. “You’re with Gabbro and you can’t lie better than that?” They grin a little as they look at the taller astronaut. “You’re slacking in teaching them, Little Quark.”

“They’ve taught me plenty.” Sanidine says, a little more defensively than they mean to in response to the light ribbing, though they give Gabbro a sideways glance at the nickname.

Esker’s ears lift slightly in response to that, and Gabbro puts their free hand on Sanidine’s leg reassuringly. There’s a glint in their eyes, and neither time buddy quite knows what to make of it as the elder Hearthian sips their tea thoughtfully.

“How long?” They finally ask, eyes boring a hole into Sanidine’s head.

The pair tense, and Gabbro takes a sharp breath. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Esker bounces their heel for a moment, eyes shifting between the pair. So many things they want to ask. So many things that would alienate the pair instantly, given how fragile they seem.

“You can interpret this however you want: How long have you two been together?” They finally ask, before picking up a slice of the honey-laden bread and taking a decisive bite of it, as though signaling the other two to speak.

“For a little over a month.” Sanidine says, quietly. They reach for the cup of tea, their hand betraying them again and nearly knocking it over, and though Gabbro wants to be fast enough to catch it it’s Esker who intercepts faster.

It’s Esker who stares at Sanidine’s shaking hand with a deep frown, and Sanidine pulls it away quickly, staring at the floor, taking short and shallow breaths. They don’t want to explain this. They don’t need to look at the way Esker’s looking at them. Not even Gossan got to find out about this, and Sanidine has been grateful for it, because any of their mentors realizing how their hands shake is an inevitable conversation that they simply aren’t ready for.

Gabbro pulls them in against their side. “Esker?”

“Did you fly here in that condition, Sanidine?”

“Esker, leave Sani alone for a minute.” Gabbro says, and their ears fold back. Sanidine’s hands are grasping their jacket and their breathing is still shallow, and there’s no way they can handle this moment right now. So Gabbro holds them, shifting their shoulder around so that Esker can’t give Sanidine quite as direct a stare.

“This,” Esker inhales, then shakes their head. “I can overlook a lot. But this, ignoring whatever happened, this is a risk to both of your lives. I need reassurance that you won’t send that ship straight into the ground when you go to leave, hatchling.”

Gabbro feels Sanidine stiffen, and for a moment they think they should really try to stop their partner from whatever they’re about to say. But trying to keep Sanidine’s mouth shut now would be like trying to convince the sun to stay alive, and they feel it in the way Sanidine’s head snaps up to look straight at Esker.

“Gossan told me I’m their hatchling. Them and Slate. Said you know too.” They say, managing not to quite spit the words as harshly as they want to. It’s not Esker’s fault. Anyone would be worried about a pilot dealing with a loss of control over their hands. But being confronted about it isn’t something they can handle, not this loop or possibly ever.

Their attempt to change the topic works well enough to get Esker’s eyes locked on theirs, at least. “Oh? When did that happen?”

Gabbro resists the urge to say that it technically didn’t, but Sanidine’s sudden desire to throw caution to the wind stirs the part of them that once sat with Esker and tried to dazzle them with what was then the coolest new concept in their world. “Ah, that’s hard to explain, and we really aren’t up to it. The tea is great with the honey, though.”

“Hatchlings,” Esker says, before pinching the bridge of their nose and looking up at the ceiling. “Are you trying to give me a headache?”

“No. Seriously, stir some honey into the tea, it’s good.” Gabbro says, breezily. “The colors are even similar, so the tea doesn’t lose that nice gold hue.”

“Gabbro.”

“They’re right,” Sanidine says, managing to pull away from Gabbro’s jacket enough to look into their teacup. “It is nice. Reminds me a little of the color of those Nomai pools.”

“Oh, I see it.” Gabbro smiles slightly. “I was thinking it reminded me of the way the lightning reflects off your ship’s canopy.”

“Hatchlings.” Esker says, sternly. “If you’re trying to aggravate me, it’s working, but I’m not going to let you distract me. Why are you acting like this? You’re more responsible than this, Gabbro. If Sanidine’s flying, then this tremor is a real safety concern.”

“They’ve got it under control enough.” Gabbro says, before glancing past Esker out of the Outpost’s windows. “We don’t have a lot of time, Esker.”

Esker frowns, then looks back through the window. Meant to provide a pleasant view of the system and any arriving or departing ships, the view is currently dominated by the angry, dying light of their sun. Before Esker can process this, Gabbro reaches for their shoulder and Sanidine for their arm.

“Don’t panic.” Gabbro says, softly. “Please?”

“Not a lot of time.” Esker murmurs, then turns to face the pair again. They don’t look nearly as sorrowful or fearful as Sanidine expects. They almost look more resigned, in the way Sanidine feels resigned. “You knew this was coming.”

Gabbro’s lips purse together tightly, and Sanidine steps in. “We did.”

“You’re calm.” Esker says, frowning. It’s not a question.

“I guess. It’s not our first time seeing this, or my first time launching.” Sanidine says. They take a deep breath, then let it go as a shuddering sigh, leaning against Gabbro.

“A little over a month.” Esker says, before reaching to take the pair’s hands away from their arm. They hold onto those hands instead, their gaze softening. “Stars above, hatchlings. Is this what you’ve been trying to hide?”

Sanidine and Gabbro both nod sadly.

“I see. Won’t pretend I understand. But it sounds like bad business, all the same.” Esker says. They look down at the tray, the half-eaten jar of honey, the emptied teapot, all of it. “If you’ve seen this before, then… I won’t get to remember this, will I?”

“No.” Sanidine mumbles.

“We’re sorry, Esker.” Gabbro says. “We. We’ve been, this has been.”

“We needed this.” Sanidine says, quietly, and Gabbro nods. “You were- I wish we’d had longer. We’ll remember it. That you- that this almost felt normal again.”

“Hm.” Esker smiles softly, and both of the astronauts sit up a little more at that. “You had better remember. Remember it for me even if you can’t come back. Promise me you’ll remember that I was happy that you spent the end sitting with me, all right?”

The pair aren’t sure what to say. They both nod, and as the star starts to collapse outside, they pull Esker toward themselves and wrap their elder in a hug. The last thing they hear, before the outpost begins to burn and the world becomes too bright, is Esker quietly whispering “Goodnight, Little Quark. Goodnight, Little Firework.”

The universe ends.

Chapter Text

On the way to Giant’s Deep, Sanidine starts practicing with their harmonica, listening to Gabbro talk about the way the lightning caught an icy island in the distance this “morning” and set something on it ablaze. Apparently, the fire managed to burn so intensely that not even a tornado could extinguish it, and the colors refracting through the ice (which seemed largely unaffected, interestingly) had been so brilliant even Gabbro struggles to find the words.

Sanidine smiles, adjusts the harmonica in their grip, starts over again. Their input volume is turned down. When they said they were going to mute it Gabbro insisted they leave the channel open, so open it stays. This, unfortunately, does have the effect that they flinch with each new sour note, but Gabbro simply ignores them and that allows Sanidine to as well.

It’s nice enough that they split their time en route back to Brittle Hollow between practicing, letting Gabbro lead them with their flute, and studying the Nomai scripts and vocal logs. Not quite as comfortable as it should be. But enough for them both to be ready, as ready as they can be, to resume the strange rhythm of their impossible lives.

The ship slides into Brittle Hollow orbit, and Sanidine looks back at Gabbro from the pilot’s seat. “Hey. You think we can check out the White Hole Station again? Want to check some things without the broken limbs this time.”

“You have a plan for dealing with Riebeck?”

“Don’t make enough noise that Riebeck looks our way?”

“Honestly a better plan than we usually have.”

Sanidine snorts, settling the ship onto the ice and flinching when the landing gear scrapes a rock. Stars-forsaken tremors. They take a deep breath, count seven, release. Gossan taught them five. Gabbro isn’t Gossan.

They power down the ship’s thrusters, then get up. One quick hug, some encouraging words, and the pair halfway skate away toward the Hanging City with quick jetpack thrusts.

Even with their helmets on, the return to the isolation of the loops– of the Hanging City, especially– feels like a steadying presence. Like after all of the chaos and pain of the last two loops, they can finally come to a place where they don’t have to defend themselves. They don’t have to worry about what others might think of the way they can’t breathe without the other nearby, the way they can’t look at other Hearthians without imagining their screams, the way the scent of pine trees is tinged with ash and chokes them on false embers.

When they finally do drop into the black hole, it’s from the very edge of the bridge gate, and they take care not to thrust or use their radios at all on the way down. Riebeck, who is pointedly not watching the black hole this time, suspects nothing and sees nothing.

At this point it’s such a rare and beautiful thing that a plan of theirs actually works that they both spend a solid quarter of their O2 tanks laughing as they spin away from the white hole. Without the pressure of injuries or Riebeck screaming in their ears, the trip is far more tolerable, the view far more beautiful. Even with the blossoming supernovae, the loop is early enough that the depths of space remain majestic instead of foreboding.

Another tenth of their tanks goes by before they remember to head for the station. They do it together, narrowly avoiding a chunk of Brittle Hollow that comes flying past on its way out of the hole. Sanidine lets out an exhilarated whoop, and Gabbro smacks their helmet, finding the whole thing significantly less entertaining.

The White Hole Station greets them with a familiar hiss as the airlock rotates. It’s been ages since either of them was here in a calm enough state to actually listen to the station around them, and Sanidine’s eyes brighten behind their faceplate. “Gabbro, do you hear that?”

Gabbro nods. “Must be the warp tower. Or maybe just the thing at the center, the, what’d you call it?”

“The translator called it a warp core when we were on Timber Hearth.” Sanidine says. They frown. “I should go back sometime and re-scan that stuff. I doubt it got saved to the ship computer, considering it was halfway melted.”

“I’m not sure if I’d be happier if it did or didn’t.” Gabbro mutters, landing first. They extend a hand up to Sanidine, and Sanidine takes it, letting Gabbro gently guide them down. “Maybe the other tower, pad, things will have the same information. We can check the one on Brittle Hollow, maybe? The Agricultural District will wait.”

Sanidine snorts. “No, it won’t, but it’ll come back if we’re late.”

“Same thing.”

“Sure. Anyway, it’s not a bad idea.” Sanidine stretches, then starts for the gravity lift. “Honestly, do you even have bad ideas?”

“Statue Island.” Gabbro shrugs, leaning back in the lift as Sanidine turns to flick their helmet. “You know I’m right.”

“I know it’s not your fault.” Sanidine grunts as the lift deposits them. “And I’ll keep reminding you every time you bring it up.”

Gabbro hums noncommittally, and Sanidine sighs. They don’t need to be as close as they are to realize just how much Gabbro still wrestles with the knowledge that, were it not for them, Sanidine would never have been snared into the Nomai trap this way. They still struggle to suppress the thought that if they had just been faster, if they had just not steered Sanidine toward that starlight-forsaken island, Sanidine wouldn’t still occasionally rub the spot that the strut had impacted when they thought Gabbro wasn’t looking. Sanidine wouldn’t know what it felt like to have their own ship destroy their body.

It’s a pit that still threatens to swallow them, and Sanidine reaches for their hand and squeezes it, holding them back from its edge. It’s what they promised, back on that beach, back when they thought they could still be the same people they used to be somehow. Nothing has changed about that. Gabbro catches them when they begin to slip. Sanidine catches back.

All that’s different now is how natural it is to let themselves fall into each other’s waiting arms.

“Hum’s coming from above us now. Definitely the warp tower.” Sanidine says. They slide the Nomai control out of its slot and flick it toward Gabbro, who drags it into one of the control sockets. “You know, I want one of those to play around with sometime.”

“Maybe we’ll figure out how to make them ourselves.” Gabbro muses. “I can imagine a lot of possibilities for something that responds to your eyes that way.”

“I know you’re thinking about art pieces  but I’m kind of wondering if the Nomai ever played games with them.” Sanidine says, waiting by the ‘out’ lift until Gabbro joins them. “You know what I mean? Ones that had more momentum to them would make cool toys.”

Back up and out. The pair wander to the warp pad, almost leisurely, with the projection stone stuffed into one of Gabbro’s suit pouches.

The tower lines up, the pad surges. Their bodies pull inward, and–

Sanidine takes a deep breath as they arrive. Maybe it’s a size thing. The warp pads always feel more disruptive than the actual black hole, somehow.

Hollow’s Lantern greets them with a meteor impact in the distance, a plume of ash shooting into the air. Gabbro idly wonders what color the surface of Brittle Hollow was when it originally formed, before the abuse of its volcanic satellite scorched it and coated it in ash. Was it always some flavor of blue? Perhaps it was a similar stony gray to the Lantern’s exposed rock, they muse, following Sanidine out of the warp receiver. Maybe it was something far stranger, once.

They’re broken out of their thoughts by Sanidine gasping. “Hey. Check this out.”

The translator’s screen glows brightly.

Departure Time: 1642.43456
Arrival Time: 1641.43456

“What.” Gabbro deadpans.

“Yeah. No, I mean, the exact numbers keep changing every time I scan it, but the difference stays the same.” Sanidine’s free hand finds their scarf, tugging at it anxiously. “That’s– I mean, that’s a full minute difference. Inside the loop. That feels, ah.”

They wave the end of their scarf, as though there might be the correct word hiding behind it.

Gabbro grimaces. “I suppose we should be glad the universe’s still more or less intact. Hate to interrupt it dying with breaking it in a different way.”

Sanidine chuckles, but it’s hollow. This discovery carries implications. They aren’t sure they’re ready to know what all of them are going to be yet, but they’re absolutely there. “You think the Nomai knew they were breaking causality like this?”

“Probably.” Gabbro sighs, looking at the sun, watching its life slowly ebb away. “Based on everything else? Maybe it’s what made them decide to make the Ash Twin Project in the first place when they were hunting the Eye.”

Sanidine hums uncertainly, putting the translator away. “I don’t know. Maybe. It feels like something they’d use that way.”

Gabbro pats their shoulder. “It’s fascinating. Don’t get me wrong, if they did leave research about this laying around I’m going to spend hours dissecting it while you study whatever you’re in the mood to. I just, I feel it too.”

Vague unease. Some sense of wrong. The time loops are too vague, too all-encompassing to feel as unsettling as they really should at this point, but something so pointed and specific as a single minute of time travel– and the fact that the clock times are behaving in the same frustrating way that the ship’s computer timer is– is enough to put both Travelers on edge.

Come to think of it, this is part of what’s so frustrating about the ship computer in the first place, isn’t it? That same unease, masked perfectly at the time by anxiety over the computer itself breaking.

Sanidine grits their teeth for a moment, grinding them a little too hard in an effort to ground themself against the feeling. They look to the nearby Nomai structures. “Right. Loop isn’t over. Back to it, huh?”

“Yeah.” Gabbro’s voice cracks, and they clear their throat. Sanidine’s giving them the strangest look, they can tell even with the visor’s tint in effect. “Yeah. Sorry. Let’s go.”

Their exploration of the nearby buildings takes a minute to begin, and is aborted nearly immediately at the sight of a somewhat older model of fuel canister leaning on the wall, alongside a remarkably well-preserved note.

Sanidine reaches them first. They reach out to the note, scanning over its text, then recoil like it’s growled at them. “Fuck.”

“Sani? What’s–” Gabbro starts to say, but as they spot the words their own are stolen from their mouth.

Of course. This fuel canister is nearly invisible from the air. The only person who’s come to Brittle Hollow since then is Riebeck. It’d be so easy to miss this. So, of course, with that luck that Gabbro is strongly believing they’ve inherited from the same individuals who trapped them in the time loop, Sanidine and Gabbro have walked straight into it.

Feldspar.

The note’s even dated. One month before they were due back. One month before Sanidine and Gabbro’s lives were irreversibly changed. One month before the black of space truly became the void, and the stars threatened to burn them instead of warm them, to stab them through and leave their bodies to rot. The nonchalant attitude of the words feels like a personal affront after all this time.

Gabbro realizes Sanidine’s entire body is shaking before Sanidine does. Sanidine realizes Gabbro’s breathing is too fast before Gabbro does. They turn to each other and away from the note, and Gabbro pulls Sanidine close, and Sanidine’s voice fails them but their hands find Gabbro’s back anyway.

Brittle Hollow is spinning too fast, Sanidine thinks. It’s going to throw them both off. It’s going to give them to Hollow’s Lantern, to try to appease its relentless anger. It’s going to give them to the darkness of space. Even if they cling to it, Sanidine knows, the sun is going to destroy them. Not kill, destroy. Again. Like it has far too many times already. They hate it. They hate it so much. They’re trying to find Gabbro in the haze, because if they can do that, the hatred might stop trying to tear them apart. After all, they could never hate Gabbro. Never.

They’re crying. They’re trying not to, Gabbro needs them, they know Gabbro needs them, but they’re sure they must be, because their helmet is on and yet, there’s water on their cheeks. They try to speak and nothing comes out but a sob. Some part of them is fully aware that they’ve got Gabbro’s suit in their hands, and they try to tunnel onto that feeling because everything else is indescribable anger, hot boiling acid in their throat their mouth their chest.

Gabbro’s not faring much better.

They stare at the sun in the distance. They’re lightheaded. They can process these things. There’s no color to it. It’s orange, sure, they know that, but it’s meaningless in the moment. They wish Hollow’s Lantern would simply reach out and destroy them, crush them under its aggression, obliterate the fuel tank and fill them with shrapnel and pain to destroy the crushing numbness that’s threatening them. It’s a leaden blanket over their entire being, sapping them of everything.

Everything but Sanidine. Everything is pins and needles except Sanidine’s hands against their back, except the way their suit bunches in Sanidine’s hands. They grip back just as tightly as they can, because if they don’t, that warmth might leave them, that feeling of vital fire in their arms that keeps them from hollowing out completely. Their heart aches with effort, trying to keep them going, but Sanidine’s spark catches on them like it always does.

Neither of them is sure how they wound up on their knees around the corner from the fuel tank. It’s not like it matters. Just realizing they’ve moved is something, Sanidine’s sure, but they’re struggling. Their side hurts. Their chest hurts more. If they weren’t on Brittle Hollow they might think their ship had impaled them again, twice this time, somehow.

They press their face against Gabbro’s, visor to visor, and they realize their breaths are fogging their visors, and they try to pay attention to that, because that’s a thing that’s actually happening, and they know it. They know Gabbro’s suit exists. They know Gabbro is right there, and they latch onto Gabbro’s presence with every ounce of awareness they have. Gabbro’s eyes are pink. Gabbro’s face is soft. Gabbro’s hands are so sure even when theirs aren’t, even when their body stops being totally theirs, even when the ship’s landing gear hits a rock or the hull scrapes an obstacle or they watch their ship fall into the black hole because they can’t land properly because–

They clench their fists as tight as they can. Gabbro’s there. Those things aren’t. Focus, they think with the lucidity they’re clawing back to themself. Focus on Gabbro’s breathing. Steady yours so Gabbro can steady theirs. Stop shaking damn it, Gabbro needs an anchor as bad as you do. If you just hadn’t noticed the stupid note you wouldn’t be in this situation and now you both are struggling to stay together and fuck, Sani, you can do better than this, you can.

“Gabbro,” They manage to say. It’s the one word they can think of, the one thing that isn’t a swear or an angry yell. They relish the way it feels in their throat and mouth. “Gabbro. Gabbro.”

“Sani.” Gabbro wheezes, and they sound so small, so lost. “My starlight. Please keep shining. Please.”

“For you I’ll light myself on fire.” Sanidine mumbles, not thinking about the words whatsoever.

“Don’t do that.” Gabbro says, too quickly. They’re aware, somewhere down there in the recess of their head, that Sanidine probably isn't serious. They don’t care. Even the slightest thought that Sanidine might actually burn has them clinging so tight their hands and arms shake.

“Mhm.”

“Really. Don’t.” Gabbro whispers. Sanidine’s the only thing with any warmth here. Sanidine’s the only star that hasn’t gone cold, that won’t take or betray, that won’t cut them free and let them disappear into the numbness again.

As long as they can find that light, they can find their way back, they think. Their eyes focus hard on the face behind Sanidine’s visor, on the piercing pale yellow of their eyes, so unfocused right now but still so bright. They hold the warmth they know Sanidine carries as close to their chest as they can, willing it to burn their hands to unrecognizability.

It won’t. They’re dimly aware of that. But they would let it, if it would.

The pair cling to each other, and slowly, so slowly, they start to return to themselves, to pull back to the moment from the treachery of their memories.

Neither of them speaks or moves just yet.

Chapter Text

Sanidine isn’t sure how long it takes, but eventually, they and Gabbro both start to come out of their fugue. The sun is, at least, not significantly further along in the procession of its death than it had been when they last had awareness of it. They’re not waking up underneath the launch tower again. It’s better than they expected, honestly, considering it feels like they were knelt there for at least a year.

“Gabbro?” They ask, voice strained and hoarse. At least they don’t think they’ve worn down the protection of their medicine. Much.

Gabbro doesn’t answer right away, and Sanidine tries to lean back slightly to peer into their visor, but the motion makes their partner inhale sharply and they press back into Gabbro’s chest instantly. “Hey. I’m here. I’m solid, I’m not going anywhere, I promise. You’ve got me.”

Sanidine closes their eyes as Gabbro’s hands tighten against their back. Even when they’re fine, even when they’re smiling and laughing and traveling, Sanidine doesn’t think they could ever escape Gabbro’s gravity. They don’t want to. Especially right now, though, especially in this moment where they’ve both crumbled so thoroughly after being okay for so long, they’re not in a particular hurry to try.

“And here I thought we were doing okay.” Gabbro finally says, exhaustion weighing down every word.

“I’m not sure we’re ever okay.” Sanidine mumbles. “Just good at pretending if we’re together.”

“Pretending or forgetting?” Gabbro wonders, before their hands loosen their grip on Sanidine’s suit. “Is there a difference?”

Sanidine shrugs, leaning back to look at Gabbro’s eyes through the visor. They’re tired, but focused again. Like everything else about their existence anymore, it’ll have to do. “Does it matter if there is?”

When Gabbro doesn’t respond, Sanidine runs a hand down their scarf, looking back at the ship. “Thought I could handle this. That those memories might get bad if we found, clues or something, but– hah. Just a note? The hint of them still being alive and we both fall to pieces again, like we’re hatchlings? What’s wrong with us?”

“Gonna have to spend a few more loops of talking to figure out the whole list, starshine.” Gabbro says, ruefully.

“Starshine?”

“Don’t like it?”

“It’s new.” Sanidine closes their eyes for a moment. Opens them again, quickly, at the feeling that the planet might start to spin too quickly once more. “I didn’t say I don’t like it, though.”

“Hm. Starlight?”

“Both are nice.” Sanidine chuckles tiredly. Stars above. If this is Gabbro’s best idea for a distraction, they’re both in even worse shape than they thought. Still, they can play along. “Don’t make me pick, moonbeam.”

“Moonbeam, huh? I’ll give it some more thought.” Gabbro says, picking themself up slowly. They help Sanidine to their feet, brushing soot and ash from their partner’s suit. “Standing okay?”

“So far so good.” Sanidine says, returning the favor. It feels silly to care, under the circumstances, just how much of Brittle Hollow’s dust clings to them. But it keeps their hands busy, at least, and there’s still a part of Sanidine that can’t bring themself to dirty the Hanging City’s ruins by tracking it inside. They’d probably cry if they managed to get it on a skeleton somehow. ”You?”

“I’ve been worse.” Gabbro says, looking at the building next to them. “Think we should at least finish checking out the buildings before we head down?”

“Yeah.” Sanidine says, reaching for their jetpack control and turning to face the building. “Just. We’ll go in another way. Top’s probably open. Ready when you are.”

The ruins manage to steal their attention away from their damaged confidence quickly enough. The destroyed gravity lift and seating already suggest this was another way into the Hanging City, before Sanidine can even produce the translator again to confirm it.

They head up the steps nearby. Gabbro busies themself with the faded remnants of a mural on one of the walls, and Sanidine investigates the nearby scroll wall with a weary smile.

Clary, celebrating arriving from the White Hole Station. Celebrating recreating warp travel. Poke, wondering if the design is close to the original (built by an Annona?) before taking a jab at Cassava. Filix, enthusiastic, and Sanidine can’t help but smirk at the casual way jumping into black holes is mentioned. If the Nomai understood warp travel- if they understood black holes- then sure, why not? The pair of Hearthians are already comfortable with the experience, and they’ve only done it a handful of times.

And then, Poke, sending Sanidine’s heart into their stomach again. Violation of causality. Root, Poke, Clary, all heading back to the station to check their readings. And of course, Sanidine knows exactly what they’ll find, because it can’t possibly be anything different.

One full minute of impossibility. A bread crumb on a trail that leads to death without end.

They sigh, lowering the translator. “Got anything interesting over there?”

“Oh, you know. Art-interesting, not helpful or scientific.” Gabbro replies. “You?”

“Nothing we couldn’t already guess, yet. They knew about the time difference from the warp. Went to check it out for more data.”

“I’m going to go out on a very steady limb, and guess that’s what inspired the Ash Twin Project.” Gabbro deadpans.

Sanidine snorts. “If it isn’t, I’m going to spend a loop complaining to someone who won’t remember.”

“After you pick me up.” Gabbro says, as the pair move toward the nearby projection wall.

“Goes without saying. Next time we’re stuck in a time loop, try not to be so far away?” Sanidine offers, but the attempt at a joke feels weak before it even leaves their throat. ‘Next time’ is at once terrifying and laughable, given how impossibly they’re still trapped in their current predicament.

“Sure.” Gabbro says, though Sanidine winces at how their voice sounds slightly more hollow now. They reach into their suit’s pouches, eventually finding the projection stone they pilfered from the White Hole Station. “Wouldn’t want to wake up that far away again, anyway.”

Sanidine hums in agreement, watching the script spread across the stone. They try to dredge up some enthusiasm for the text, or the fact that they can make out names- Pye, Poke, Ramie, distinct and clear and obvious as though they were written in native Hearthian- but it falls flat somewhere in their heart.

Confirmation. Discussion. The Nomai were fascinated by the impossibility they created, and they sought to confirm it, to study it, because of course they did. Sanidine wonders if there’s anything in the universe that could’ve slowed their curiosity, tracing the curves of the text with one trembling hand while reading the translation aloud.

“‘Come here at once. You need to see this.’” They lower the translator, grimacing. “Hasn’t Chert been on Ember Twin for ages?”

“This is Chert we’re talking about.” Gabbro says. They heave a sigh before looking up at the stars, trying to ignore the ever-increasing number of sparkling explosions that mar the view. “They’re brilliant, but they don’t really explore like this, you know? They’re more the type to set up a camp and start firing their scout.”

“Of course.” Sanidine slides the translator into its pouch. “Too busy looking up at the stars to notice a ruin in the biggest canyon in the system.”

Gabbro gives Sanidine an appraising look, then shrugs. “Stellar physics and cartography is their field. I spent a few months there, but you aren’t getting upset at me for not noticing.”

“You were there because of Chert, weren’t you?”

“Something like. They’re my friend. I’m still upset at them too, but c’mon, Sani. You might as well be getting frustrated at Riebeck for not having made it to the Hanging City.”

“Hm.” Sanidine shrugs their shoulder noncommittally, then steps past the wall to look out at the other half of the glacier. Gabbro, of course, is right about Chert, and they know it.

Knowing Gabbro’s right isn’t going to keep them from being stubborn right now. They’re still raw from their mutual breakdown, and just thinking about Chert is like rubbing salt into the open wounds. It’s not like Chert meant what they’d said, and they thought they were more or less over it, but damned if it doesn’t make it all too easy to be angry at them now for not having charted the Ember Twin canyon more thoroughly.

Rather than confront those thoughts, or let Gabbro calm them down, they hit their jetpack and bound across to the other half’s structure, stumbling once but not fully losing their footing. Gabbro arrives a second later, and Sanidine is already pulling the translator free, as eager for the distraction as they are to hold onto their frustration.

“Sani.” Gabbro crosses their arms, watching the lights of the translator dance across the Nomai script. “You’re being ridiculous, starlight.”

Sanidine huffs out a small laugh, not looking Gabbro’s direction. “Yeah, probably. Does it make you feel better if I promise not to actually take it out on Chert?”

Gabbro sighs, eying Sanidine’s helmet and debating smacking their love with their flute for being so intentionally aggravating. Ultimately they relent, but only because they’d rather not break the flute or cause Sanidine to drop and break the translator on this particular shitshow of a loop.

Sanidine’s expression visibly brightens, even through the visor, and they eagerly begin reading the translation aloud.

Gabbro almost interrupts Sanidine to point out their rather blatant subject change, but they stop dead when the words “phantom moon” come across the radio. Their mouth hangs open for a second, their protest dying in their throat, before they snap it shut.

Though they haven’t discussed it much, Sanidine’s already pretty sure that the Phantom Moon dances in both their minds as a prime example of an unsolved cosmic mystery. The moon is an enigma that seems to almost playfully taunt explorers, vanishing as quickly as it arrives and never allowing a ship past its cloud layer. Some more skeptical Hearthians believe the moon doesn’t exist at all, that it’s some kind of optical illusion in the sky. Others believe it to exist, but claim it must be some kind of energized gas phenomenon.

Sanidine and Gabbro are both certain it’s real, and that its disappearing act is more than a trick of the eyes. To see the Nomai discussing it is validating, though they seem no more certain of its nature than the Hearthians at large.

That’s fine, Gabbro reasons. That doesn’t matter in the least. What matters is that at some point in their society’s lifespan, the Nomai saw the Phantom Moon and discussed it. If there’s anything they can count on, as they get to know their predecessors, it’s that the Nomai absolutely refuse to leave a mystery unsolved. The same tendency that Sanidine cursed not even fifteen minutes ago now offers them a potential lead to keep an eye out for on a completely different topic.

Sanidine can’t help but giggle at the way Plume, Filix, and Thatch (and isn’t it a small wonder of its own that those names are things they can pronounce aloud as they were intended, now, that they can pick out the symbols as they curve on the stone?) discuss the hypothetical existence of another Hollow’s Lantern. Gabbro chuckles at the phrasing of the Phantom Moon as ‘playful’.

Their situation feels lighter again, though the bone-deep weariness from their earlier meltdown still clings to them like tree sap. Sanidine pockets the translator, sparing a glance at their O2 and jetpack fuel before turning back to Gabbro and planting their hands on their hips.

“We need to make a real to-do list next loop.” They say, and they swear they can feel Gabbro making a face under their helmet.

“You know, one of the nice things about my hammock was that I didn’t have one of those most of the time.” Gabbro says, and Sanidine pushes them lightly, earning a breathy laugh from both of them.

“We’re doing it anyway. There’s too much we’ve found. I’m sure you’ll find some way to survive the ordeal.” Sanidine says, a smile on their lips that carries easily into their voice. They start back toward the ship, figuring they could do with resupplying before they head to the city for whatever’s left of the current loop.

“Stars above, Sani. Who are you, Hornfels or something?” Gabbro asks, grinning the whole time.

“Worse.” Sanidine deadpans, spinning around in midair to level Gabbro with a neutral stare. “I’m Gossan-spawn.”

“Hearth save me, that is worse.” Gabbro says, as morosely as possible.

Sanidine doesn’t reply until they approach the ship. Then they fire their jetpack and somersault backward over Gabbro, landing in a crouch on the frigid terrain. “Nobody’s gonna save you from me out here!”

The pair burst into tired laughter as Sanidine tackles Gabbro into the gravity lift, trailing a cloud of ash and jetpack exhaust.

Chapter Text

Sanidine feels like they can breathe again once they reach the Hanging City. The cold air fills their lungs with something more vital than simple oxygen, and the chill against their scales teases loose the parts of their mind that want to linger in the tension of the surface. They can see it in Gabbro’s face, as well, in the way their eyes seem a little clearer and their lips settle in a slightly more upturned position.

Timber Hearth will always be where they’re from, but the Hanging City feels more and more like a second home with every visit, a reprieve from the harshness of the Ash Twin Project. Its moist, icy air is a salve that soothes the invisible burns left by supernovas that never happened, the unchanging remains of its citizens almost reassuring in a morbid way.

To think the pair found the dead here shocking in such a visceral way when they first visited. Certainly, the skeletons of the Nomai citizens are no less saddening with repeated exposure, but a headstone you’ve seen before is less shocking than a funeral. Sanidine and Gabbro will never stop mourning the Nomai, but the grief of this particular city is familiar now, the weight settled onto their shoulders evenly enough to be carried.

They still kind of wish the tower walkways would be a little less crowded. As they aren’t holding onto each other this time, Gabbro moves between the remains with such ease that they may as well be dancing. Sanidine’s motions are more deliberate, less effortless. Part of this is possibly anxiety over taking one wrong step and destroying a skeleton. Part of it is definitely that they’re distracted by Gabbro’s graceful steps, caught up in them just as much now as they have been since, stars, since before the White Hole Station for sure.

It’s not fair, they think, that Gabbro hid this away in a hammock on a jealously violent planet. After they escape the time loops, they’ll be sure to show off their moonbeam to as many eyes as they can convince to look.

All too soon, the Travelers arrive at the fourth level, disembarking the highway into the Agricultural District. Gabbro’s breath catches for a moment at the sight, and Sanidine grasps their hand tightly in response.

The district is slightly larger than Meltwater above, a series of three massive enclosed structures lining each side. The closest on the left is overgrown completely to the point of being inaccessible, bright green vines choking its entryway and spilling out through its cracks, a startling burst of life in the middle of the city’s desolation. Another building, in the middle on the right, is shattered by a piece of the glacier that fell and split its roof open like it was cracking a nut.

The destruction is, in its own right, beautiful. But the things the living vines promise for the intact buildings are what really captivates Sanidine. After all, if a Nomai were to ask them about the culture of their home, Sanidine would happily begin by describing the Crater’s most common foods and the traditions around them, and how the unique climate and lack of area for growing crops shaped the early thirst for the unknown that’s so typical even now in Crater-born Hearthians.

To possibly see how the Nomai fed a city this large, to learn about such a vital part of who they were? Sanidine can hardly believe the chance sits in front of them. Their expectations for the Agriculture District were admittedly low outside of the potential for recordings and scroll entries, but this changes everything.

All of that is why they don’t even speak before they start into the district proper, pulling Gabbro into motion and earning an amused look that they pretend not to see.

“Look at it!” They finally exclaim. “Intact Nomai structures that probably contain records of actual crops? Gabbro! Gabbro, this is- this- stars, this is so much more than I ever thought- I wonder if they’re still edible? It should be impossible, they should’ve- they should be as dead as everything else here but if they’re anything like the pines on Ash Twin then, then- this could be so important.”

“No taste-testing until it’s almost time to loop anyway. I’m not dealing with you making yourself sick like that.” Gabbro says, their cheeks aching from how wide their smile is. It’s been too long since Sanidine was this properly enthusiastic about something, letting the time loop fall away under the haze of raw excitement. It’s a glimpse of the Sanidine that used to exist, the one they almost knew back on the Probe Cannon.

“Pff, you would deal with it if you had to.” Sanidine says, rolling their lower eyes. They stop in front of a smaller structure in the center and Sani releases Gabbro to retrieve the translator, aiming it at the building’s sign. “Crop Status and Distribution?”

“Reminds me of the offices in the South.” Gabbro muses, working the door control. The entrance rotates open to reveal a fairly standard Nomai office, largely similar to the one Nypa managed back in the Meltwater District. It’s actually somewhat spartan save for the empty planters behind the desk. A shelf with a handful of scrolls, a wall for reading and sending, and an oddly-shaped chair.

Sanidine frowns. “How in Hearth’s name do you use that? It looks like a puzzle piece.”

“Best guess is that it makes more sense if you know what their muscles looked like.” Gabbro says. “If you were Nomai-shaped, it’d probably be pretty comfortable.”

“Hm. Maybe.”

“Or maybe it’s an art piece.” Gabbro muses. “And we just don’t get it because you had to be a Nomai to get it.”

Sanidine laughs softly, picking up the only scroll that’s out on the desk. There’s no intact remains in here, and they aren’t sure whether they should feel grateful or not. They turn to the wall, the stone making a soft clink noise as their trembling hands try to line their prize up with the slot. “That must be the trick.”

“I have the strangest feeling you don’t believe me.”

“I’m just distracted, obviously.”

“Sure. Should we settle in for another session of translating a bunch of scrolls?” Gabbro asks, although they’re already working on figuring out a comfortable way to use the maybe-chair. It’s a bit awkward, but they at least manage not to fall out.

Sanidine grumbles before propping the damn thing against their side, steadying it so they can get it in. “Yeah, might as well start here and work our way out to the more fun stuff. Stars, this one’s gotta have something wrong with it, I- finally.”

They step back, watching the scroll slide into the wall and dusting their gloves off, and turn to say- something. They lose track of their thoughts immediately at the sight of Gabbro having found a way to recline in the Nomai seat, their love grinning at them with half-lidded eyes.

“Go on.” Gabbro says, waving their hand at them to continue. “Do your thing.”

Sani opens their mouth, then shuts it and snorts. “You could at least play something if you’re going to pretend you’ve got your hammock with you.”

Gabbro inclines their head ever so slightly in thought, then retrieves their flute from their pack and starts to play. The music is an old lullaby favored in the hatchling cabin in the time they were growing up there, and the deep tones Gabbro plays in echo in the emptiness.

Sanidine watches them play for a minute, ears up but face slack. It’s always a treat to listen to Gabbro’s instrument, more than just the simple joy of a Traveler playing, and after the start to the loop they had Sani finds it all too easy to lean against the wall with the translator in one hand and listen.

They’re standing there for a solid five minutes before Gabbro stops to look at them, grinning. “Now you’re distracted.”

“Not my fault you’re so distracting.”

“Scan the wall, Sani. Or you’ll be upset that you didn’t get more done this time around.”

Sanidine sticks out their tongue with a ‘nyeh’, then turns to do just that.

The scroll is ultimately not particularly useful, even if it’s interesting. It’s a rotation list for Growhouse Two, which Sanidine suspects- knowing their luck- will be the one that’s caved in from an icefall. The translator struggles and stutters along as it works its way through Nomai crop names, absolutely zero of which are at all familiar to Sanidine or Gabbro. The most interesting part is the planet of origin header, which indicates that more than a few of the growhouse’s plants came from Giant’s Deep.

Sani pulls the scroll again, setting it gently aside, then wanders past Gabbro to retrieve another. “Good thing you look comfortable, moonbeam.”

“I’m always comfortable, starshine.”

That earns Gabbro a snort and an “If only” before Sanidine selects the next scroll. They raise their flute and begin to play again, softer this time, a welcome ambiance to the work of scanning in agricultural records.

Oh, they’re interesting enough. Sanidine could probably find something to hold their interest in just about anything the Nomai wrote, and speculating on crop names is no exception. But the process of scanning each one in is a bit slow thanks to the formatting the Nomai used to store their lists, and even an eager anthropologist like Sanidine is vulnerable to tedium.

So, sue them, with four of the six growhouses’ lists scanned in, they set the translator down. Gabbro’s ear flicks in their direction as they take a seat on the ground, and after a second of debate, they pull their harmonica out of its pouch and glance in their love’s direction.

“Hey. Give me a tune to follow?”

Gabbro props themself up on one elbow to give Sanidine an appropriately curious look. “You sure?”

Sanidine shrugs. “It’s been a long loop, and the scrolls will be here next time if we don’t finish up. Why? Afraid for your eardrums?”

“After you got a private lesson from Esker, should I be?” Gabbro grins. “I’m mostly just surprised. Never thought I’d see the day you took a break while we were here without something making you.”

“Even I have my limit of lists of crops.” Sanidine runs their thumb along the engraving on their harmonica. “C’mon, start playing already or I might give up and go back to working.”

Gabbro offers up a dry chuckle, then starts in on a simple enough work song the Tree Keepers are fond of.

Sanidine waits a few bars before joining, shaky and not quite with the same easy confidence. Still, their notes are correct, their pitch isn’t too wobbly, and their shaking hands don’t manage to dislodge the harmonica from their lips.

The way the song sounds in the empty room is almost haunting. Sani’s ears flick toward the door, and they realize they can hear the echo of their instruments from the hard, angled surfaces of the rest of the ruined city.

It’s been an unthinkable amount of time since this city heard music. It might not be the same as it once was, but the city’s walls and paths ring with it regardless, and Gabbro decides they like the idea that this is the city singing back to them, acknowledging them. Something to propose to Sanidine later, they figure.

Neither Hearthian stops playing for long, moving on to largely improvised jamming, even when the city rumbles and shakes with the death knell of the sun. They close their eyes and play louder against the coming of the end, as though their music could hold back the obliteration that rushes their way.

They only finally stop when they’re engulfed in the bright and the heat once more.

Not long after, much like their song, the universe ends.

Chapter Text

Sanidine wakes up with the memory of peaceful music easing the fading burn of the supernova. For once they're tempted to linger in the comfort of their sleeping bag, if only to try to hold onto the way they didn't spring to alert with a gasp and a shock of panic this time. It's a feeling they've almost forgotten.

It lasts half a second before the ache of being without their partner sets in, and they push to their feet and get moving, giving Slate a wave but not looking at their parent. They're not sure when they'll come to terms with the way knowing their relation feels, but it won't be this loop.

Maybe they should take more musically-inclined breaks with Gabbro.

The elevator rattles a little on its way up. The sound is almost comforting, because it's never the same noise twice. Sanidine never stands exactly the same way, their weight never quite in the same spot, for that exact reason. It's a mercy. If even that was the same despite their influence, they might just try to shut out the world on their way to their ship entirely.

Even their ship feels a little calmer this loop as they take off for Giant's Deep. Some undefinable quality in the wood and the air, maybe just a trick of Sanidine's mind on a less frantic escape from their doomed homeworld. They check in with Gabbro, busy as usual with gathering ingredients, and set about their routine. For a change of pace, they opt to read over their recent ship logs while eating instead of practicing their harmonica more or writing a new entry.

Hm. That was…

Sanidine swallows the bite of stew and glances at the cockpit radio. "Hey, Gabbro. You remember that box we found on Timber Hearth?"

"Yeah?"

"Did we never open that? I feel like we would've noted down whatever was inside, but the log doesn't have anything."

Gabbro is quiet for a moment. "Huh."

"Yeah. I guess we just got focused on Esker instead, but, damn."

"We could go back and get it."

"Now?"

Gabbro makes a 'dunno' noise. "I think that's your call this time. I know how badly you want to get back to the city."

"Like you don't?"

"My choices are between geyser diving and watching you translate the most boring scrolls we've found yet. If you asked me what I wanted to do, I'd say the Growhouses."

"They're not that boring!" Sanidine says, trying not to sound as petulant as they feel about the accusation.

"Sani, they're crop rotation lists."

"Yeah! It's an important insight into the diet and farming methods of the Nomai!"

Gabbro makes a noise somewhere between a laugh and a cough. "All I'm saying is, I'd rather experience that knowledge firsthand and come back for the scrolls after."

Sanidine vindictively takes a bite of stew, chewing as loudly as possible even though the microphone isn't anywhere near close enough to pick it up. They swallow, staring at the log, turning thoughts over in their head. "What if we went back to get the box, then went to a Growhouse? Should have plenty of time, especially if we open it on the way to the city. You and I don't even have to radio Esker or look at the Crater."

Gabbro hums. Then they clear their throat—Sanidine gets the distinct impression they just nodded—and say "Sure, sounds good."

Sanidine focuses on their stew again, scrolling through more of the logs. They sail onward to Giant's Deep, letting Gabbro's flute lull them into as relaxed a state as they can get with their other half not by their side.

It's been a bit since Giant's Deep expressed its agitation at Sanidine for daring to steal Gabbro away, and it exercises its wrath by flinging one of its islands directly into their path as they breach the cloud layer. It feels annoyingly familiar, and Sanidie hauls the nose of the ship up and slams open the thrusters, grunting as their flight harness and seat both strain against the sudden excessive g-forces.

They manage to wrench the ship up and abort their reentry at the uppermost cloud layer, and are rewarded by performing the unseen but incredible stunt of the ship sailing straight through one of the arches of an unexplored Nomai island and out before the next one can snare some piece of it.

"Ha-HAH!" They whoop, throwing open the throttles and propelling the ship up and away from the greedy planet's reach. "Not this time, you don't!"

A moment passes, and then they wheel the ship around once again and chase the island down into the clouds, popping out their scout launcher's aiming handle and easing back only as they breach down into Giant's Deep's turbulant open air. The launcher thrums as it fires, and Sanidine accelerates back off into the clouds without a glance back.

They're on their feet as the ship's landing gear settles into the sand, and they wrap Gabbro into a tight hug as soon as their time buddy emerges from the grav lift. "Hey!"

"Well, hello to you too." Gabbro replies, gently pressing their helmet against Sanidine's forehead. "I do need to put your medicine down to hug you back. And I'd be lying if I wasn't a little worried to have my starshine this excited already."

"You like it when I'm excited." Sanidine said, stepping back to let Gabbro take off their pack and helmet and reluctantly taking the medicine from their hands.

"I like it, but it usually means you found something dangerous, or you're about to do something crazy." Gabbro observes. "Sometimes both."

"Not this time." Sanidine says. They scowl at the medicine, then down it and shove their usual marshmallow in their mouth, chewing furiously. "I already did the dangerous crazy thing, now we just gotta go check out a new Nomai island I tagged with the scout launcher."

Gabbro's eyes widen, and then they narrow suspiciously. "And how did you find that?"

"Big Green threw it at me."

"Of course." Gabbro's ears flick in obvious irritation at the planet's anger. "Jealous thing. Well, I am interested in seeing a new island."

"Sounds good. Can always postpone our other plans." Sanidine says, before turning to drop into their cockpit seat and firing up the ship's engines. "Not like the Hanging City or that box are going anywhere."

"Something like that." Gabbro leans on the seat, watching as Sanidine takes off. The green skies of Giant's Deep flash angry orange at them as they soar along, but Sanidine's flight is steady, twisting between tornadoes like a performer at a bonfire.

In fact.

"Nova Dancer." Gabbro says, softly.

"Huh?"

"Nova Dancer. The ship. Nova for obvious reasons, Dancer because the way you move it reminds me of bonfire dances."

Sanidine's ear twitches. Gabbro sounds serious, contemplative, and the name seems poetic. Nice even. "I think… I like it."

"Good." Gabbro smiles, resting a hand on Sanidine's shoulder. "We'll get it written on the outside once everything is over."

"Yeah. It'll look great. Put a silly picture of you there, too."

"I am not your pin-up model."

"No, you're just not everyone else's pin-up model."

Gabbro snorts, squeezing Sani's shoulder before letting go. "Sure, sure. How far to your island, anyway?"

"Should be coming up on the horizon any second." Sanidine says, eyes scanning over the probe readout. The distance shrinks rapidly, and Gabbro's breath hitches a little at the sight of the ring-adorned island rising in the haze of rain.

"That's the biggest Giant's Deep structure I've seen." They breathe. "This could be so, so important."

"I thought so." Sanidine says, and earns a flick on the ear for their self-satisfied tone. They laugh, bringing the ship down toward an obvious landing pad, not distracted in the least.

Gabbro has their helmet on before Sanidine can even unbuckle, preventing ear-related revenge, and Sani sticks out their tongue at their love before pulling their own helmet over their head.

"Don't blame me for you being slow." Gabbro teases, before dropping out of the hatch and stepping aside.

Sanidine follows a second later, huffs into their helmet mic, and starts walking toward the visibly carved steps. "I'll get you later, just wait."

"Mhm."

"You could at least pretend to believe me."

"But why would I ever lie to you?"

Sanidine snorts. "I guess you have me there, moonbeam."

"Mhm." Gabbro says again, and before Sanidine can roll their eyes, they continue with "Because of Gabbro Wisdom."

"I do like Gabbro Wisdom."

"I know."

The pair round the corner on the steps to find the ring-shaped berth and workshop spread before them. Sanidine immediately gravitates to the scroll wall before them, while Gabbro spends a moment examining the sculpting on the decorations. A small sculpture of the probe cannon sits on a table, which draws Gabbro to it, and ornamental plants and benches are scattered throughout.

"Oh, wow." Sanidine says, after a moment of translating. "Gabbro, this is where they built that orbital cannon."

Gabbro glances past Sanidine at the massive berth rising out of the waves, then shrugs. "You know, I guess I can see that, but I have no idea how they would get the thing into orbit."

Sanidine shrugs, going back to the translator. "Well, maybe it was something to do with the gravity crystals."

"We'd probably have found some sign of it if they had just." Gabbro gestures. "Really, really big gravity crystals. I think. Some mention."

"Probably." Sanidine mutters, eyes locked on the translator readout. "Mallow and Avens again, believe it or not. And—"

They cut off with a snort, then grin at Gabbro like they've lost their mind. "Gabbro, I think this has flirting on it."

"No way." Gabbro says, wide-eyed, rushing over to read the log. They snort, then start giggling, leaning on the scroll wall to steady themself. "Oh. Oh wow."

"Marshmallowy. Gelatinous. Gooey." Sani snickers. "This is adorable, actually."

"Troublemakers who flirted and made something blow up." Gabbro muses. "Not bad. I bet there's a few people back home who'd talk about us that way, if they knew what we were getting up to."

Sani laughs, setting the translator back into its pouch. "Stars forbid, Hornfels and Gneiss are going to have a fit."

"Slate is going to be livid when they learn how many ships you've actually lost!" Gabbro laughs as well, starting toward the open bay with Sani on their heels.

"Ohh, I am so getting grounded."

"If you're lucky. I'll keep you company, don't worry."

Sani elbows them. "You better! But, wow, okay. Yeah, I can believe they built the probe cannon here."

"Looks like gravity panels on the rings." Gabbro crosses their arms. "Doesn't fix our question about the launching, but if the pieces of the cannon were positioned in the center, they could move around them freely to work."

"It makes sense." Sani nods, peering out at the imposing frame. "The plates would keep them from getting thrown around by the waves, too, and spacing out the rings helps keep down wind resistance. So. Left or right first?"

Gabbro hums, then pulls their flute out and steps back into the sheltered area of the structure. "Mouthpiece-up we go left, large end right?"

"Sounds good, I think?" Sanidine says, watching with their arms crossed. They wince a little when Gabbro tosses the flute into the air, watching it twirl and resisting the urge to rush forward and catch it themself.

Gabbro doesn't look up to watch. Without tracking the flute, they snatch it out of the air just as it falls past their chest, then hold it out as though examining it. "Looks like we're going right."

"Right it is." Sani says, slowly. "Did you throw that just because you knew I'd panic if you dropped it?"

"I threw it because it was an easy way to make a choice." Gabbro grins behind their helmet, tapping the flute to the side of it twice before putting it away. "Gotta use what you've got."

"Of course. Like you did before." Sanidine puts their hands to their faceplate, running them down it slowly. "Only, you know, on Giant's Deep, in the wind and the gravity and. Right."

"I'm not trying to break it, but, you know, time loop." Gabbro observes, reaching out and putting a hand on Sanidine's shoulder. They turn the other Hearthian around and start them toward the gravity wall path leading to the right side of the berth, humming a pleasant little tune. "So I figured, I can take a risk here, you know?"

"You're impossible."

"Think that goes for both of us."

Sani sighs, stepping onto the gravity plate and feeling their stomach lurch as they snap to its surface. "Yeah. Yeah, it does. Alright, Nomai, what'd you leave for us over this way?"