Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

water,

there was..water…and..

nothing. nothing else. you remember.…water…but you cant swim very well, so you had,

a boat. you were in a boat. a small, two-person boat…but you were alone. just you and,

your head hurts..

you cant remember what else…

above you..there was…something. so many little somethings but,

you feel yourself wince. its dark..you dont want to open your eyes….

something would hurt if you opened them…it hurts, the,

the light. there were lights. hundreds, thousands..little little lights…above you…in the sky. they never left you…you werent alone after all. even when you cried and,

but those lights…they have a name…theyre called…

what are they called..you cant remember…the lights in the sky, theyre,

“Stars.”

the voice is enough to make you jolt. you sit up so fast you feel dizzy, but you manage to grab the closest object to you and hold it out like a weapon–something that feels so..natural, but,

its…..a spoon. youre holding a spoon.

and the long-haired stranger in the doorway across from you is…laughing?

their voice is almost..fuzzy…but you somehow understand.

“My apologies, young one. I did not mean to startle you.”

you open your mouth to speak..but your throat hurts...and even if it didnt, you cant….think of any words…

what…language do you speak?

clearly you know one. its whatever theyre speaking. you know it. its..

words that you can barely understand slip out one by one.
    > “who are you”

and to that..they only tilt their head. “...I could ask you the same thing, don’t you think?”

. . .
    > (lower the spoon)

you take a deep breath in…and let it out…and try to relax.

youre breathing…

…you’re…breathing. just keep that up.

as you start to calm yourself, they seem to relax too, stepping forward into the room you’ve apparently been staying in. you hardly gave yourself the chance to look around, but now that you have…it seems cozy. there’s a dresser at the opposite end of the room with a darkless cloak hanging off the corner, along with a pointy hat and a strange, moving figurine of…something on top of it. it has a funny face, and it’s dancing around…how…cute? there are tons of decorations around the walls too, most of which are just…a lot of circles…how…pretty? but otherwise it seems…empty, like it was recently moved into. the bed you’re in has a nice, fuzzy blanket draped over it (and you!) at least, completely lightless other than some…little dots all over it. are those the things in…

oh. no time to think about that now. the stranger has…a bowl of soup. is that what…the spoon was over here for?

“You’ve been asleep for several days. I was worried I was too late when I found you on shore.” on…shore? so you remembered the boat correctly. you watch as they set the warm bowl on a stand next to you. your mouth waters. “You were so cold and pale, and so…so light… How long were you out at sea for, young one?”

…you…don’t know how to answer that.

and they seem to know not to push. “Right. My apologies again. We’ll worry about the details later, but for now…please, eat, it’s obvious you had no food on that small boat. I just picked up some fresh bread and pastries from the locals as well, so I can grab you more if you’re still—”

you don’t let them finish talking. you pick up the bowl and bring the edge right to your mouth, tilting the bowl up and up as you enjoy the soup. you don’t need a spoon!

“...hungry.” they seem…amused by your lack of table manners, letting out what you can only hear as a snort before quietly taking the other utensils that were left. “Don’t be so quick like that,” they laugh. “You’ll get sick.”

you’re already feeling better. So, so much better! You feel warm…your throat doesn’t hurt as much anymore…and you have some energy back! Your head still hurts, but that’s probably a given. The sunlight peeking through the window is the first light you’ve seen in days, as they’re suggesting, so you’ll probably get over the headache soon too!

You let out a satisfied sigh as you lower the now empty bowl, and if you could see the stranger’s face behind the long hair, you can only guess that they’d look either impressed, or absolutely horrified. The thought is enough to make you giggle.

“What kind of parent would send their child out with no preparation like this,” they mutter under their breath. You only heard them due to how close you are, but you keep quiet about it. You probably weren’t meant to hear that. They let out a not-satisfied sigh and turn to you…or at least, you assume so. You can’t see their face still. “Young one, do you know where you’re from? Do you know where your parents are?”

. . .

Your smile…drops.

You wince again, and a sharp pain suddenly pulses through your head. You let a whine slip out as you hold your head, and the stranger takes in what sounds like a sharp breath through their teeth, their hands hovering forward in what seems to be worry. “I thought so… Nevermind that, you don’t have to answer. You don’t have to think about it. Please, don’t think about it anymore, it’s okay.” They reach for you, and—

You gasp, shaking their hands off of your shoulders as your body jerks around wildly. You look up at them with big eyes, and for a moment you felt…fear. You had apparently backed up into the bedframe, only noticing the new distance after you blinked. They’re silent, and…they seem to be staring at you, studying you…

They…lower their hands.

“...My apologies. Again. I won’t touch you without warning.”

You blink again. A few times.

...You must not be used to that.

You breathe in…
    > “Where are… Where are you from?”

They take a long, long…long time to answer. “I’d do anything to know the answer to that question. But…based on your features, your clothing, your…your accent…” They lean forward slightly. “I believe, bright one…we share a homeland.”

…Bright one?

“Tell me, do you…know what these are?” Their hand stretches out and points towards the blanket. “These little dots… Do you know what they’re called?”

Your stare follows their finger, and…you stare for a while. The lightless blanket covered in dots…it looks just like the sky did when you were on that boat. They said something not long ago, right? What was that word? It sounded foreign, just like the rest of this conversation, but at the same time, it all sounds so…familiar.

You perk up. You know this.
    > “Stars?”

You can’t see their face, but you can feel them smile. “Yes, yes! Yes, they’re called stars! And they’re part of…?” They lean forward again in anticipation.

Oh, is it…your turn?

Stars, stars, stars…they’re part of…something. They’re part of something big. Really big. Really really reeeeaaaally big…as big as the…

You perk up again. Stars are part of-
    > “The Universe.”

They nod quickly, even bringing up their hands to clap. “Yes! Again! Stars are part of the Universe, and wherever the Universe leads…?”

…They tilt their head, waiting. Your turn again??

Where the Universe leads…where…the Universe leads…

You should know this. That’s so, so familiar, but…

You look down.
    > (Shake your head.)

You prepare yourself for their disappointment, but…they only laugh, shaking their head too. “That’s alright, bright one. You already remember much more than I anticipated…we’ll get there when we get there.” Slowly, they hold a hand out in front of you, offering for you to hold it. “Are you well enough to stand? We can keep chatting, but we still have those pastries to get into, remember? If you’re still hungry, of course.”

…You are. You’re still hungry.
        (Don’t hold their hand.)
    > (Hold their hand.)

Carefully, you set your hand in theirs, and they slowly close their grip around your hand, giving you every opportunity to pull your hand away. You don't. You feel...safe. Their hold is gentle and light, but you can tell they’re very, very strong. Your hand is…much smaller compared to theirs, though, so that’s probably why. “Come along then. We have delicious profiteroles and buttery croissants awaiting us.”

Your mouth is watering again. With an eager nod, you slip out from under the starry blanket, and allow them to guide you out of the room. As you stumble by the dresser, your eyes catch a small mirror that had been hidden by the cloak, and…you meet your own stare. You stop your movements, and luckily, the stranger waits for you, giving you the time to look your reflection up and down.

It’s you!

…Whoever… you are.

Your hair is messy, probably from laying in bed, and…oh, it’s the same darkless shade as the stranger’s. Is that normal for…wherever you’re from? You try to imagine yourself with hair as long as theirs. You giggle, and they turn to look down at you. “What’s so funny?”

You shake your head with an innocent smile, and squeeze their hand–a silent signal to keep going!

And so…you move, and let them guide you down the hall.

…Maybe you’ll remember more when your headache is gone.

Chapter Text

It’s been a couple days since you woke up, and you’ve already gotten used to the layout of the house. It’s small, barely furnished, and smells a little old, but it’s home! Or at least…it's a temporary home. It’s comfy enough to live in until you and your new friend can remember your real home, but even then, you wouldn’t mind staying here if it ends up that way!

Neither of you have picked names yet. A part of you is hoping you’ll learn what your real name is before you have to bother picking a new one, but he doesn’t seem convinced that’ll be the case. He doesn’t seem convinced about anything going right, if you think about it, but you’re hoping that you being here will bring him some light…

Even if that little bit of light is something as silly as making breakfast! You’re up before him, weirdly enough, so you might as well return the favor! He’s been making meals for the both of you every day since you’ve been here, and you’ve been watching and studying as much as you can…but the more you think about doing anything complicated, the more you start to get nervous. You don’t wanna risk burning down the kitchen or something!

So…you take the coward’s way out, and settle for simply cutting a baguette. Nothing wrong about some good bread and some good jam!

…If you…had any baguettes left. Are you out already? Actually, now that you're looking, you're low on food altogether. Maybe there's still at least something…you can look around!

You start to open and close all of the cabinets in the kitchen, searching and searching…but all you find is dust. Hello, dust! You push around some plates, and–oh, there's a spider! Hello, spider!

…But no food.

You move to peek down the hallway towards the front door, and you feel…cold, nervous. You haven't been outside yet since you woke up, and your friend has weirdly settled for leaving you here alone while he goes out rather than taking you with him. Is it scary outside? You can probably handle it! You're tough! You somehow survived being stranded out in the ocean for who knows how long, right? You can handle anything! Besides, it's just getting some bread, how bad could it be?

But as you step towards the door, you hear movement in the hallway behind you, and you quickly turn.

Your friend stops in his tracks and stares down at you, tilting his head. “...Bright one, care to enlighten me on…what you have there?”

You blink.

…You're still carrying the knife you were going to use for the baguette.

Oops.
    > “...Breakfast? For…for us?”

…He laughs. Your nervous smile grows a little. Slowly, he reaches forward and- oh, right, that's a good thing, you still yourself- places his hand on your head, ruining your perfectly nice hair as he ruffles it!! Rude!! “How kind of you. Your heart is pure…but please-” As he speaks, he carefully takes the knife from your hands. “-do not eat the knives. We have food.”

What???
    > “I-I wasn't going to eat that!! I can't eat that!!”

“That's what they aaaaall say…”

     > “Noooo!!”

You hear him start to snicker, and you can't help but giggle too.
    > “Yucky yucky metal… Grooooss!!”

“Yucky metal indeed.” He lets out a slow breath to settle his laughter, turning to set the knife down. He seems to notice the jar of jelly you had put out as well, suddenly putting the pieces together on what your breakfast was going to be. “...I see now. I take it we're out of bread, then?” You nod, and he hums. He takes a turn at looking through the cabinets. “...Out of…everything, actually. That's a bit of a predicament now, isn't it.” You nod again, and he chuckles this time. “I'll make another food run. It was very sweet of you to try and make something for me too, but I'll take care of it from here, alright?”

You don't nod this time.
        “Okay, I'll stay here.”
    > “Can I go with you?”

…He…slowly turns to look down at you. “...What was that?”

Woah, you…you feel cold again.

“Um…
        …nevermind, sorry.”
    > …can I go with you please?”

. . .

He's silent for a long time, looking off towards the front door. You nervously tug at the end of your gloves, feeling more cold by the second. You should wear your cloak more often…it's nice and warm. “...You have no reason to be out there.”

     > “But I want to go with you.”

“It's dangerous outside.”

     > “But we'd just be going into town, right? What could be out there?”

“Bright one.”

     > “A-and- and even if there was something, I'm tough! Nothing would happen, I promise!”

“Bright one.”

    > “I just want to—”

“Bright one.”

You flinch, and…he seems to realize his voice got louder, and he sighs.

“...Apologies, it's just that…you and I are all that's left of our country. Or at least from what I've found so far. I don't want to risk anything.”

…You look down towards the ground.
    > “O-okay. I'm sorry.”

. . .

He sighs again, and reaches forward towards you. “May I touch your shoulder?” You hesitate, but eventually nod, and he gently sets his hand on your shoulder before kneeling down to match your height. His hand is cold. “My apologies for yelling. I am not angry with you, do you understand that?” You nod again. “Finding you in that state…it makes me worry for your health and safety. You may be tough, bright one, but you are still quite small. There are some very, very evil people out there in the world, and I don't ever want to risk losing you to someone like that. Disasters aren't planned, after all, otherwise we'd be back home by now, don't you think?”

…You nod again.

“...But…” You perk up, and he seems to smile behind his hair. “I suppose a life in solitude, locked away from the world…is worse, in some ways.” He stands back up and takes his hand off your shoulder, holding it out to you instead. “If you would like to go outside with me, if that would make you…happy, I will not stop you.” A smile starts to grow on your face, and you shake your hands around in excitement. “But you must hold my hand and never let go. Do you understand?”

You nod furiously.
    > (Hold his hand!!!)

You grab onto his hand with both of yours, bouncing happily with a big smile.
    > “I won’t let go! I promise!”

You can feel his smile growing again. “Wonderful. Go get your cloak and your hat then, and we'll be off.”

You bounce and bounce and bounce…and then suddenly stop.
     > “...Wait can…can I let go of your hand to get my stuff?”

He laughs and nods his head, and you hardly give him a second to take back his own hand before you let go and run down the hall back to your room. You're going outside! You're going to go into the town and meet the people and talk to everyone and see what you've been missing and- and maybe-...maybe…meet someone your own age? Make some friends? Or…at least one friend? You gotta start somewhere if you're going to start over your life like this!

Oh, you'll need a name too! Maybe you can find something to work off of while you're out! Ooohh Stars you're so excited!! You look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself a biiiig smile, flapping your hands around happily. You can barely get yourself ready like this! You do your best to fix your hair after you slip on your cloak, plopping the pointy hat over your head to hide the rest of the mess. The hat is…a little too big for you still, but you think you look cool anyway. Cool and mysterious…like a…cool and mysterious person!

You smile wide again as you look at yourself in the mirror, striking a couple silly poses and winking. Lookin’ good!

You hope the Universe likes your smile.

“Come along, bright one, you don't want to hold off breakfast any longer, do you?”

You let out a quiet giggle and return to your friend, taking his hand and letting him guide you once again. Outside outside outside!!

As he pushes open the door, you take a deep breath in of the fresh air, letting out a loud but happy sigh as you look around at your surroundings. You could see some things through the windows of the house, sure, but actually being out here is SO much different! And so much better too!! Your hat is enough to shield your eyes from the bright light of the sun above you, making it even easier to look up, down, and all around you!

It's so pretty… Fields of flowers surround your dirt path and go on as far as you can see, with a big beach at the end of it - oh, that must be where your friend found you - but you're going the opposite way today! You can even see a little town in the distance, with blurry shaped figures wandering the streets and greeting each other…that's gonna be you soon!! You can't wait to meet everyone!

With a skip in your step, you can hear your friend chuckle beside you, and you pout as you look up at him.
    > “What's so funny?”

“I'm just glad to see you happy, bright one, that's all,” he hums. “If I could hold that happiness and keep it safe forever, I would do so in a heartbeat.”

You’re not really sure what he means by that, but it seems nice! You giggle under your breath as you skip, pulling him along every so often before he’d quickly catch up. Some bugs and smaller animals crossed your path along the way, but you didn’t let them distract you too much–you have a town to explore!

And that town was closer than you thought, your little boots suddenly landing on a much more solid rocky path as you arrived. “Remember,” your friend starts, his voice a bit quieter compared to before. “do not let go of my hand.”

You nod, your smile growing bigger and bigger as you look around. There are so many people, and so so many buildings, and so so so many other cool things to look at!! Flowers and those circle decorations are all over the place, and there’s a huuuuuge version of that dancing figurine that’s in your room in the center of the town. But there’s a bunch of little ones around it too–that character must be popular around here! It seems like a popular spot to hang out, too, since there’s a lot of people over there…maybe there’s a show or something!

As you’re pulled along, you wave towards anyone who looks your way, and- ooh, so many smiling faces! Everyone seems so happy, even from just waving back to you, a stranger!

Soon enough, you see another kid holding hands with what you guess is their parent, and you giggle as they look towards you. They’re like you and your friend!

You wave with a smile.
    > “Hi! I like your dress, it’s soooo pretty!”

…But they…don’t respond, and just give you a weird look before turning to look up at their parent. The adult doesn’t seem sure of what to say either, only waving in your direction with a weird smile and gently tugging their child away from you.

You feel your smile fading. Did you…say something wrong? Are dresses not supposed to look pretty here? That’d just be weird! You squeeze your friend’s hand and look up at him, hoping for some advice.

But he keeps walking. Guess he didn’t notice.

Maybe it’s just a one time thing. Yeah! Maybe that kid was raised to not talk to strangers, which is fair! Maybe you can talk to someone a little older this time?

As you’re led towards a shop, you notice two people chatting with each other right in front of the store’s big window. One of them notices you looking at them and stops talking, smiling at you with a gentle wave, making the other person turn to see what they were looking at. They both have mismatched earrings, like they mixed up their jewelry boxes but just stuck with it…how cool!

Your smile grows as you wave excitedly to the pair.
    > “Hello! Your matching earrings are so cute!”

…And…just like the kid, they both look confused on what to say. The person that noticed you first awkwardly stops their waving, and refocuses on their friend with an embarrassed smile.

Your own smile falls again. What’s with everyone being so…weird? Is it the way you're dressed? Is it the way you walk? Do you look too mysterious?? Maybe you should lose the hat. Or maybe…

Before you can think about it too much, you bump right into your friend’s side, and he turns to look down at you. “Be careful,” he mumbles quietly. “Keep your eyes open, bright one.” You nod slowly, shifting your focus back to your surroundings. You’re in…a boulangerie! As if the smell wasn’t enough to tell you that before. Stars, the smell of fresh bread is making your mouth water…you’re so hungry. He seems to notice you getting fidgety, and lets out a sigh, turning towards the baker across the front counter to place an order.

But when he starts to speak…you can’t understand a word.

You look up again, your curiosity now turning into full on confusion as you listen to the pair talk. What are they saying…? They keep going back and forth, and every time you expect to hear something familiar out of your friend, you just get…nothing. It’s all fuzz. It’s all…foreign.

…Your head hurts.

The sound of change falling is enough to break you out of your stare with the wall. Carefully, your friend picks up the dropped coins from off the ground, and places them all in a jar on the counter. The jar is labeled with…something. You don’t know what that word is that’s written on the label.

…Now that you’re really looking around…you can’t read anything that’s around the shop…

Your friend picks up a box and says some final, unknown words to the baker, giving your hand a small squeeze before he leads you out of the boulangerie.

You don’t bother waving at anyone else.

“Are you feeling alright, bright one?” he finally asks in a way you can understand. “You can eat on our way back, if you want. I know you’re probably starving.” Without waiting for you to answer, he carefully holds the box of bread down towards you to look through. You just grab the first bread roll you see and stay quiet. He seems to frown, standing back up straight and closing the box.

You’re both silent for most of the walk back, only the natural sound of birds chirping and bees buzzing filling the quiet alongside your steps.

“...Do you now see the other reason why I’ve had you stay home?”

. . .

You don’t respond. You take a small bite of your roll.

“No one knows our language, and clearly, you don’t know theirs at all. I want to teach you to read and write in Vaugardian first before you venture out again. Does that sound fair to you? Otherwise, you’ll just be…lost, in more ways than one.”

…Vaugardian…

You nod. Another bite.

“You can go outside to the beach and the fields, but…I will not be bringing you to town again, and I don’t want you going that far on your own either. Do you understand?”

Another nod. Another bite.

Finally, you reach home, and you finish your roll.

Your head still hurts. Maybe you should take a nap…

Before you can get too far, though, your friend lets go of your hand and sets his on your shoulder instead.

And for the first time since you’ve met him…he tucks his hair back slightly, revealing a kind, gentle smile hiding underneath. Your eyes open wide in awe. “We’ll get there, bright one, I promise. Vaugarde is…a wonderful, beautiful place, with such a welcoming and loving community. I think you’re going to like it here before we return home, and I can’t wait to show you everything it has to offer…” His smile fades slightly. “...But…I can’t have you going in right away. Until you are knowledgeable enough to naturally go through everyday life with them with no issues…you must remain here. You must learn to be like them, to understand them, to communicate with them, to…blend in, if you'd prefer to put it that way.” He tilts his head, and his hair falls back over his face. “Do you understand?”

Vaugarde… That’s a nice name.

You nod slowly with a little smile.
    > “I understand.”

“Excellent. You’ll be able to head back into town much sooner than you think, as long as you work hard to learn quickly. But with how eager you’ve been about…well, everything-” He pauses to laugh. “-I’d say you’ll be back over there in no time. I promise we’ll make this work out in the best way possible, alright?” As you nod, you let a yawn slip out, and he takes a moment to laugh again. “Well then, maybe our work can wait a little longer. Someone seems tired.”

You smile shyly, reaching up to rub your eyes.
     > “Long walk… Just wanna nap…”

“Nap time it is then.” Carefully removing your hat and hanging it off the corner of a chair, he ruffles your hair once more before leaning down and…resting his head against yours. This is new, but you...feel relaxed like this. Safe... “Rest well, bright one. I’ll have some proper food ready by the time you wake up.” Your smile grows as he leans back, and he messes with your hair again as you blow a raspberry at him. Enough of that!

With one more yawn, you make your way back down the hallway and into your room, tossing your cloak over the little mirror.

…Vaugarde. Vaugarde. Vaugarde…

You’ll have to get used to that name.

You curl up under your night sky blanket, and think about the Stars. You think about the Universe. You wonder what Vaugardians think about the Stars, or what the Universe thinks about Vaugardians. It watches over everyone since It’s so big, so you can only imagine what It’s seen that you haven’t. What else is out there? Who else is out there?

…What else could you be possibly missing? Will you ever be able to know?

You ask the Universe to help you understand. To help you learn quickly, to…help you grow…and…

You ask the Universe…for strength…as you…slowly…relax…

      and start…

          to drift off…

Chapter Text

you hear a voice.

it whispers something you can’t

understand.

it’s a question.

your heart is beating so

   fast you can’t e

 ven feel it.

you stare up at the sky

                        the stars

                        the universe

                        the source of the voice

                                      to answer,

but before you can speak,

a hand reaches down fro

you’re so small. what can you do.

nothing.

no

 thing.

                                         m the void of the sky,

and gra bs,

  an

      d   squeezes,

you can’t even screa m befo  re y our body gi  ves ou   t

a    nd    t he  n

–!!!

You wake up.

The strength of your gasp is enough to instantly send you into a coughing fit. You shakily reach over for your glass of water and slowly, slowly sip, making sure not to make yourself choke by accident. As your coughs settle, you breathe in, and out…in for five seconds, out for five seconds…

In…and out… In, and… Pheeeeew~...

What a weird nightmare…

But now your head hurts. Great.

You rub your eyes as you look down at the papers and books laid out in front of you. Even just a quick glance over the sentences you’ve written is enough to make the words start swimming, making you immediately lose what little focus you had left. Your head hurts a little more.

No wonder you fell asleep…learning a language is exhausting.

You let out a defeated sigh and let your head fall forward onto your desk…that was now covered with your drool…which is now in your hair and on your face… Gross! You’ll need a bath later.

As you sit back up and lazily wipe your face, you feel something fall off your shoulders, making you turn to look behind you. Your…starry blanket? You don’t remember grabbing that before you sat down to study. Did he…put this on you while you were asleep?

You smile as you reach down to pick it up, brushing your thumb over the Stars on it. So soft…so pretty. You haven’t had this on your bed in forever. It’s just a liiiittle too small for you now. Did he really take the time to find it in your closet just so you could be comfy out here?

How nice…you laugh a little.

As you drape the blanket over your chair, you look over your shoulder and call.
    > “Anyone home?”

…No response. You’re home alone again. You feel a grin grow on your face.

Study break time.

Who cares if you just slept through most of your actual studying…it’s break time!

You place your writing papers in between your books to mark your spots, close them, set them aside…and stand up. Your back pops in a few places as you stretch, your arms falling and swinging at your sides while you move towards the front door. The most important part of break time? Fresh air!

You lift the loose floorboard in the corner of the front porch, and retrieve your dagger and chunks of wood that were hiding underneath. Rolling your wrists a few times as you walk, you make your way around the side of the house…and start climbing. You use the nearby tree to your advantage to help you up to the roof of the house, and carefully crawl over to sit right at the center, turning your back towards the sun so you don’t have to squint.

You love the view from up here.

You can see a bit more of the nearby beach at the end of the dirt path, the sand stretching out over the horizon just like the ocean it’s connected to… You can watch the water dance and move in the same way as the wind brushes through the fields of tall grass and flowers, almost appearing like waves as well in their own way… You can watch the clouds above you stretch and change as the planet moves with them, appearing as anything and everything you can imagine if you look hard enough…

…You can watch the blurry figures of people in that far, far away town…that seems to grow more and more distant from you every day…no matter how hard you try…

…Maybe you just like feeling tall.

With the gentle breeze moving through your hair, you smile and let out a relaxed sigh…and get to work. You’re hoping to get this wood carving done before he gets back. You’ve been working on a little set of items that you can’t find the Vaugardian words for, and you hope that…when he finally, finally says you’re ready, you can figure them out by showing these to the people in town!

But for today, you really need to finish carving this telescope. You keep messing it up and having to start over…why do they have to be so thin?? It’s so easy to cut them too short and make the whole thing look off!

As you bring your dagger to the wood, you take a deep breath…
    > “Please look good, please look good, please look good…”

…and…before you realize it, you’re all finished.

You carefully set your blade down next to you, hold your breath, and raise your final product to the sunlight to get a better look at every angle.

Your wooden carving of a telescope is finally done, and it…looks good. It looks good…!!!

Yes, yes yes!! Finally!!! You didn’t mess it up!! It looks perfect!! You can’t help but laugh and shake your free hand around. You never have to carve another stupidly thin and easy to mess up telescope again!! You can finally work on the other things you want to make!!!

You’ve only had this little telescope for a minute and a half, but if anything happened to it, you would…start a fire, or something. You don’t know what you’d do, just something bad!! Something to make everyone in the world say, ‘hey, that wasn’t very nice!’ Or…or something.

But then you hear a not-so-happy voice ask you a question from down below.

…Well, looks like break time’s over already. You subtly tuck your dagger away under your cloak to hide it.

Making sure he can see you, you let out a loud, dramatic yawn, and fall backwards to lay on the roof, bringing your hands behind your head like a pillow.

You hear him huff. You try not to snicker.
    > “Sorry, I only speak Vaugardian.”

He lets out another huff of air, this time louder, and repeats himself in your practiced language. “Are you really up there again? I told you not to climb on the roof anymore, or at least when I’m not home. You could get really hurt if you fall.”

You roll your eyes, letting out another dramatic yawn.
    > “But I’m soooo comfy up here…”

“This isn’t funny. I’m serious.”

     > “Hi Serious, I’m Siffrin. Glad you finally picked a name!”

You snort as you hear him groan. “Get down. Now.” You peek over the edge with a raised brow, showing off your best innocent eyes. “...There is no magic word. Get down. Blinding teenagers…”

Aw, all you wanted him to say was please.

You watch him walk inside as he mumbles about your age, and you quietly let out the rest of your built-up laughter. Stars, he’s so overprotective sometimes… You’ve climbed trees plenty of times over the last couple years, and he even helped you learn the best ways to climb! But now it’s ‘no, Siffrin, you can’t climb the roof, you could fall and break something’ and ‘Siffrin stop leaving your things on high shelves so you can stand on the counter, you could slip and hit your head’ and ‘oooh oooooohhh my poooooor poor little bright one you’ll trip on a sewing thimble if you don’t be moooore carefuuuul!’

You’re fine. You’re fine. Why doesn’t he get that? You have to find something to do to keep yourself entertained when you’re stuck here all day, what’s so wrong about feeling big and tall?

But…you don’t want to make him angry.

Reluctantly, you carefully slide off the side of the roof and safely land on your feet, making sure he doesn’t see you as you return your dagger and wood under the corner floorboard. You’ll work on those again another time.

As you step inside, you feel…cold, even with your cloak on. You swallow, suddenly feeling the crawling weight of regret creep up on you. Maybe you shouldn’t have messed with him that much. You peek into the kitchen from the hall, watching him silently put food away that he had retrieved from town.

You clear your throat. Maybe you should…
    > “I’m sorry.”

…He doesn’t respond.

You try again.
    > “I’m sorry for talking back.”

…He…still doesn’t respond.

You…try again, but in your native tongue.
    > “I’m sorry for…worrying you.”

“Do you truly understand why I worry so much? Why I worry about what you think are little, pointless things? Why there are rules that need to be followed?” He turns in your direction, the weight of his ankle-long hair making it hard to tell exactly where he was looking. You feel…small, suddenly. It makes you shiver. “If something goes wrong, and you die, that’s it. We lose our chance. We lose even more of what little evidence we have that it’s real, that it existed. We lose all hope of remembering it, our country, our home. If you keep being careless like this, Siffrin, there’s no going back.” You sink into your cloak slightly as he fully turns towards you. Cold…really cold. “Do you understand that, Siffrin? Do you understand now why things are the way they are? I know you’re unhappy, and I can apologize as many times as the Universe deems necessary, but I need–...”

He trails off into silence as he looks at you. He can probably see you shaking. He takes a deep breath…and slowly lets it out.

His hand hovers a couple inches from you, and…you step forward a little, letting him set it on your shoulder. He leans down to rest his head against yours, a simple gesture that always seems to calm both of you down. “...We need whatever hope we can cling onto. And you’re that hope, bright one. I’ve known, from the moment I found you all those years ago, that you’d grow up to be someone much bigger than you realize…and I can tell that, one day, you’ll bring us home.” He leans back, and you can just barely see his smile behind his hair. “I’m sure the Universe is just as excited for that day to come. And that's why these precautions are necessary. Do you understand?”

. . .
        (Stay silent.)
    > “...Will you ever think I’m ready?”

“Ready for what, bright one?”

     > “...To be with them.”

“...Oh, you mean…the town.” His head turns towards the nearby window. “...Soon. You’ll be ready soon, I promise. You’re closer than you realize.” He turns back to you, and you catch a glance of that sweet smile as his hair moves with him. “Don’t stress so much about it. When you’re ready, you’ll know before I even tell you. We’ll make it a big day to celebrate.”

You tilt your head. You watch him do the same, and you can’t help but snort.
    > “Like…a birthday?”

“...Yes, like a birthday,” he laughs. “If you’d like to think about it that way.”

You feel your smile return, and you nod. You never picked a good day for your birthday, since you…can’t remember it, and you’ve been going based on a general idea of time when it comes to your exact age. He’s always told you to pick a day that feels right, but nothing has ever really sparked for you over the last few years…

…Maybe that ‘big day’ would be a good day, whenever that may be.
    > “Okay. I’ll keep working hard then. I won’t let you down.”

You look down, feeling a bit embarrassed.
    > “And, uh, I’ll…do a better job at following the rules. I’m sorry.”

He hums for a laugh, reaching up and–you lean back and dodge the hair ruffle! You’ve learned! You show off a grin as he freezes up for a second, and then…he laughs again, steps forward, and wiggles his fingers around… menacingly…!! “Just because you’re in better shape than me…doesn’t mean you can outrun me messing up your hair.”

You step back and smirk.
    > “Wanna bet?”

He doesn’t answer. You take that as a yes. With a laugh, you turn on your heels and make a run for it out the front door, and he calls “Get back here!” as you run out into the fields. You even run backwards to wave at him as he tries to catch up, doing everything in his power to make it up to you…but you know there’s no way he’ll make it. He’ll probably trip on his own hair if he tries any harder– ha!! That’d be a sight to see!

Your hair stays safe today!
    > “Sorry, I only speak Vaugardian!!”

As you run and run around outside…you can’t help but recall what he said…

‘When you’re ready, you’ll know before I even tell you.’

You think you’re ready…but maybe you really are missing something.

That nightmare you had…there was a question you didn’t understand. It sounds silly when you think about it, but maybe that’s what you’re missing. A simple question…

Will you be ready when…you understand the question? Or will it be when…you can give the answer? Could that be it? Will that be when the Universe says you’re ready? Will that be enough for the Universe to deem you worthy enough to live in Vaugarde?

…Was that the Universe that grabbed you? Was that the Universe that…

You let out a cough as you suddenly find yourself short of breath, and you take a moment to stop running. You glance over your shoulder. No sign of him…maybe he gave up. That’s okay. You need a second to relax after remembering that last part of the nightmare.

Your chest feels tight. You breathe in, and out…in for five seconds, out for five seconds…

Pheeeeew~...

After you sneak a glance towards the distant town at the end of the dirt path…you kneel down and pick a few flowers, gathering them in your arms as you walk back home.

You have a feeling giving someone flowers as a gift is special…for some reason.

Maybe he’ll like them…

Only one way to find out.

Chapter Text

“...Is something the matter, bright one?”

You try your best to smile, but you know your rising nerves are more than obvious. You idly shift your weight between your feet.
    > “What, uh, makes you say that?”

His head shifts slightly as he looks at your hands. “...You brought me flowers. You only ever do that when…you’re nervous about something.”

You stick your tongue out.
    > “Whaaaat, noooooo… I bring flowers all the time! Like, uh…um…”

“Like the last time, when you were worried about showing me your little wood projects that you had apparently been working on for over a year? Or the time before that, when you referred to me as your father, and you got so embarrassed you locked yourself in your room for a week and didn’t speak to me the entire time?” You can feel your cheeks burning. You sink into your cloak slightly. Why does he have to bring that up?? “Or the time before that, when you wanted me to make more malanga fritters even though we just had them?”

You let out a playful whine, pulling down your hat to hide your face.
    > “They were really good, okay!! Reeeeeally really good!”

He chuckles at your banter, and you feel your worries settle ever so slightly. It seems like he’s in a good mood…maybe this could really work. “So, enlighten me… What’s on your mind? Talk to me, Siffrin. It’s okay.”

. . .

You take a deep breath…and set down the bundle of flowers on the table he sat at.
    > “...I think I’m ready.”

…He takes a moment to respond, slowly turning his head to look towards the nearby window. You tug at the end of your gloves as you watch him, waiting, hoping… You can feel the Universe holding Its breath. Or maybe that’s just you.

Finally, he turns back to you. “...You think you’re ready?”

You swallow.

You speak again…but in your practiced language.
    > “...No. I am ready.”

…You can feel him…smiling. Huh?

“Then it’s settled.”

… Huh?? Oh, he’s standing up, he’s putting his stuff away, he’s– he’s fine with this??? He’s just gonna accept it like that??? Who is this and what have they done with your dad!!!

…Oh Stars you did the thing again– AUGH!!

“What are you waiting for, bright one?” he asks, watching you flinch as he turns to you again. “Gather whatever belongings you want to bring with you. Today’s your big day.”

This is…this is really happening? This is really happening?? You reach for your arm under your cloak and pinch yourself. Nope, you’re awake, this is real, this is real!! A big smile grows on your face, and you free your hands from under your cloak to wave them around. This is real!!! You’re going to town!!! It’s been years… You can only wonder how everyone you saw that day has grown! Will they remember you? Has anything changed about the town? You can’t wait to find out!!!

With a happy burst of laughter, you run down the hall to your room, gathering your wooden carvings. You put everything away safely into your super-duper secret pockets…including your dagger, which you had hidden under your dresser, in case of an emergency…and look at yourself in the mirror before you leave.

It’s you!

Cool and mysterious…just like a wizard! You remember the word now!

You spin, strike a few poses, adjust your hat…and wink.  Lookin’ good, Siffrin!

“Don’t take too long, bright one. There’s only so much time in the day.”

With an excited laugh, you return to him, and take his hand. He seems…puzzled about the gesture at first, and you tilt your head with a little smile.

Does that rule still apply here?
    > “I promised I wouldn’t let go.”

He…laughs, and your smile turns a bit nervous. “Even now, after so many years…your heart remains pure. If you wish to hold my hand, I will not stop you. But…you are not a child anymore, I trust you to walk on your own if you would like to explore. You did say you are ready, after all.”

…Oh!
    > “Oh.”

He laughs again, and gives your hand a very, very gentle squeeze. “Let’s be off, then.”

You nod furiously, and…you walk outside with him.

You’re bigger now. You’re older. Smarter, wiser…what have you. But Stars, this walk is longer than you remember. Maybe it was quick last time because you were excited? But you’re excited now! Or maybe it’s because…he’s slower. He’s older too, even if he hasn’t changed much as far as his appearance goes. Just…longer hair. You can only imagine how often he has to wash it, considering it’s dragging behind you in the dirt…no wonder you run out of soap so often!

“You picked an excellent day to travel to town with me, bright one.” You look up at him as he speaks. “There’s a festival in town today. A celebration of Change…there’s going to be lots of food, music, people… It’s a wonderful event to experience. Truly unforgettable.”

Celebration of change…? Like growing up?
Heh, you really do have good timing.
    > “I’m guessing you’ve…been to the festival before?”

“Of course. This festival happens every year.” He sounds happy as he continues. You smile. “Everyone gathers together to talk about how they’ve grown, how they’ve changed, who they’ve met, where they’ve gone… No matter how small, everything one has accomplished through the year is brought to light, and they get to celebrate it with their friends, family, everyone… And no one ever hesitates to share that excitement, even if they’re surrounded by nothing but strangers, or even those from outside of Vaugarde.” He lets out a slow sigh, which seems to trail off into a quiet laugh. His hold on your hand is…tight. “It’s…a perfect community. It’s…”

His hold is tighter. You wince slightly, and he turns to check on you. “...My apologies. Sometimes I don’t remember my own strength,” he chuckles, loosening his grip.

You smile and nod nervously. That was…weird.

But before you can think on it any longer, the sound of music reaches your ears, and you turn to look at the end of the dirt path. You’re here… You’re here!!

There’s a street band playing right by that big statue, with lots of people cheering and dancing around it. The statue of that figurine is decorated with flowers, gemstones, what looks like…paint, and pieces of cloth with all sorts of patterns on them. None of them are consistent or match with another…are they all handmade?

The rest of town is littered with dozens of tables, stands, and other displays of food, clothes and jewelry, decorations and everyday household items… One stand has a small line with parents and their children, with the young ones getting their ears pierced and those waiting for their turn holding their future earrings of their choice…they seem so excited! The different smells of all the food hits you like a wave, and you instantly feel your mouth water. Did you skip breakfast? Don’t have to worry about that now!

There’s so much! You don’t know where to start!

A taller stranger dances around nearby, tossing flowers into the air from a basket on their arm. They spin and spin around and approach you slowly, making you wave sheepishly once their eyes lock with yours. “Welcome, welcome!” she says with a big smile. You mirror the expression. It’s so nice to be able to understand them now… “Welcome, traveler! We’re so happy to have you here!”

Traveler? Oh, right, they…wouldn’t know you’ve been here the whole time.

You smile shyly at her.
    > “I like your dress. It’s really pretty.”

She gasps, and her smile gets bigger. “Oooh how sweet of you! Please, traveler, help yourself to whatever you’d like! Today’s a day of celebration, and you’re more than welcomed to join us!” She gets closer, and…sets a crown of flowers over the point of your hat, making sure it doesn’t fall apart on its way down to your head. Did it…get bigger on its own? So that it would fit? You blink, your cheeks warming up slightly. She giggles with a wink, and dances off back into town, tossing more and more flowers and giving away what seemed like endless crowns from her basket.

He chuckles under his breath as he looks down at you, and you respond by blowing a raspberry at him. “Fitting right in… Would you like to go on your own for a little while?”

You blink again. Is he serious…?
    > “...Can I?”

“Of course.” As your excitement grows, he takes out a bag of change, and slips it into your other hand. Oh, right, you might end up needing money here. “If I am not around, please just return home by sundown. Can you do that?”

You nod, your smile getting bigger and bigger by the second as you tuck away the money.
    > “Yes, yes! I’ll be home before dark, I promise!”

“Excellent.” He leans down, and you stand on your toes to meet him halfway, resting your heads together. “Have fun, bright one. You’ve earned this.”

With one more squeeze to his hand, you let go, and…you’re off! You wave to him as you look over your shoulder, before you start to spin around a few times to really look around. So many people…! So many things! You really, really don’t know where to start!

Maybe that big statue? That seems like a popular spot!

You make your way over to the small crowd of people, watching everyone dance around the statue and sing to the music. Your smile turns soft as you watch some kids play around nearby, having what looks to be some sort of dance battle. How cute! Your attention finally falls on the band, the instruments unfamiliar to you, but…so interesting. You dig around in your pocket and take out a random coin from the bag, flicking it up in the air with your thumb and watching it spin. It lands in an upside-down hat on the ground filled with change, and you smile at one of the performers as they nod to you in silent thanks. The song sounds so nice…they’re so talented!

“You’re not from around here, are you?” You startle as you turn to the new voice, a slightly shorter stranger looking at you as he laughs. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s just…your clothes. They look weird. Where are you from, stranger?”

You…swallow, showing off your best smile. You wish you knew.
    > “Overseas.”

“Oh, so you’ve been traveling for a long time then, huh.” You nod. Sure, let’s…go with that. “How long have you been in Vaugarde? Do you need me to speak slower? You can understand me, right?”

Uh… Okay. You try not to cringe. This is…clearly a kid. Don’t be mean.
    > “You’re…fine. I can understand you fine, thanks.”

“Oh, good! Just making sure,” he laughs.

…There’s a long, awkward pause, and you cough…

Before you can dismiss yourself, he suddenly continues. “Did you pray to the Change God yet?”

The what.
    > “The what?”

“The Change God.” He points up towards the big statue, and you follow his direction as you look up at it. That round thing is a god…? “They’re kinda the whole point of this? How have you been in Vaugarde and not know about Them?”

Wha– What’s with this sassy lost child?
    > “Sorry…? I’ve been, uh…moving around a lot. Don’t have time to learn much.”

“You should learn. The Change God is reeeeally powerful…even if They don’t do much.” You open your mouth to respond, but he keeps going. “Y’see those little ones all around Them? They have different faces! They’re always changing, so nobody really knows what They’re supposed to look like! Kinda scary. My mom says it’s important, though, so it’s probably good for you to know if you’re gonna live here.”

You nod, very…slowly…stepping back.
    > “Right. Uh…thanks, kid.”

Before he can speak again, a much taller woman walks up and places her hands on his shoulders, gently pulling him back. “Don’t bother them, sweetheart, what have we talked about?”

“Ah- sorry, mom…”

She giggles, offering you a smile. “Sorry about my son, traveler. I hope you enjoy yourself while you visit.”

You wave to dismiss the apology, letting out a quiet laugh.
    > “It’s, uh, it’s alright. Kids will be kids, ahah…”

As she waves goodbye to you and pulls her son along, you let out a slow breath. Okay, so learning Vaugarde’s language was one thing, but…you didn’t even think about learning the culture. That little figurine in your room has been a tiny version of this country’s god this entire time?? Why didn’t he tell you that?? You swear you remember asking about it, but maybe…you didn’t? It’s all blurry now…come on, brain, work!

You hold your head, and someone else approaches you, a look of concern all over their face. “Are you alright, stranger?” they ask, and you turn to them with a weak smile. “Is the music too loud? We can walk away for a moment if you need some quiet, I can show you a nice area nearby.”

You try to wave, but…you let out a quiet sigh instead, nodding.
    > “Um…yeah. If you wouldn’t mind.”

“Of course I don’t mind!” They suddenly take your hand, and you flinch, quickly tugging it back. Their expression falls as they look at you, probably noticing how your breathing picked up. “O-oh, I’m so sorry! I should’ve asked. Can I hold your hand? I don’t want you falling.”

You…slowly nod, and they take your hand, carefully leading you back into town. You pass by a few other small crowds of people, who all turn to you with smiles and waves, and you do your best to return the kind greetings.

Left, right, left again…and you enter a building. It smells…a little weird in here, but it’s quiet…it’s nice. The stranger smiles at you and brings you to a chair, looking quite satisfied as you sighed and relaxed in your new seat. “There we go! Sorry, I know this event can get a bit overwhelming, especially if you’re not familiar with it.”

You hold your head again with a small nod.
    > “...What’s… What’s that smell?”

“Oh, that’s hair dye!” They step closer to a few small barrels lined up at the end of the room, starting to close them one by one with their lids. The bottom of the lids are all stained with different shades, seemingly matching whatever is inside the barrels they’re covering. “I was going to have a stand and help people change their hair, but I…woke up late,” they giggle nervously. “So I never got my stand set up in time. It’s okay, though, I’m gonna be doing everything in here afterwards anyway. I love styling hair, and with the Craft knowledge I learned at the House a few towns over, my hair dye lasts a loooong long time…so the shade stays longer, even when your natural hair grows back!”

Craft…? The house? What house?
    > “What’s…craft?”

They tilt their head, their smile turning nervous. Uh-oh, did you say something wrong? “...Craft? It’s like…the basics of how our world works?” They look concerned again. “Is it…not referred to as Craft where you’re from? I don’t recognize your accent.”

You swallow, trying to smile.
    > “Uh, n-no, it wasn’t. Isn’t. Sorry, haha.”

…They smile. Phew. “Oh no, it’s okay! No need to be sorry, traveler,” they giggle. “In that case, that’s just what it’s called here in Vaugarde! What kind of Craft do you know?”

Oh Stars. Um???
    > “I can, uh, um…um.”

Quick, think of something!
    > “I can…whittle? A whittle bit?”

…They suddenly burst into laughter, covering their mouth with their hand. What the– oh, you didn’t even realize you made a joke there. Hah! Maybe that’s your Craft…making jokes without even thinking about it. “Whittle Craft… I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that! Sounds cool!” They clap their hands with a bright smile. You try not to make your relieved sigh obvious. Glad to know you can make up anything and not sound crazy! “Say, traveler…are you planning on staying in Vaugarde?”

You hum.
    > “...Mmmmaybe?”

“Oh! In that case, can I um…” They tap their pointer fingers together, looking shy. “Would you maybe be interested in…dyeing your hair? Your darkless hair, uh, stands out quite a bit. I-I, uh, I don’t mean that in a bad way!! I think you look very pretty!” You blink, your cheeks getting warm. They think you’re…pretty? “But if you, um…don’t want the constant attention from standing out as a traveler, I could help! I think you’d look really nice with lightless hair. Plus, if you’re going to live here, I’m sure your decision to change so soon will please the Change God too! Especially today during the festival. It’d be perfect timing!”

Lightless hair…

You think about the night sky.
    > “How much would I owe you?”

They laugh again, shaking their head. “Nothing, traveler! If you want to live here and change, who am I to prevent you from doing so with a price tag?” They tap their fingers together again. “And. Um. It would be…good practice for me. I’ve never actually… tried the Craft on anyone yet, so…”

You smile a little, nodding.
    > “Sure. You can dye my hair.”

They looked surprised as you reach up and grab your hat, setting it in your lap and waiting. “O-oh, oh! Okay! I didn’t think you’d?? Say yes?? For some reason??” They laugh shyly and hurry to one of the barrels, putting on some gloves. “Okay! We’re doing this, traveler! If, uh, you don’t like it, I can change it back too! That’s the power of Craft!”

You can’t help but laugh.
    > “I’m sure I’ll love it.”

If you’re going to participate in a celebration of Change…you might as well change something about yourself too, right? You’ve been…the exact same for all these years. Same clothes, same face, same…hair. Even he has changed by letting it grow out. You’ve always kept it like this. Always been…the same.

It’s your turn to learn about Change.

With one more confirmation of your decision, you let the styling one get to work, and you relax as their hands move through your hair.

Something about this feeling is…almost familiar, but you don’t bother trying to think about it too much. This will help you…blend in, as he’s said before.

You hope he’ll like it when you return home.

But that’ll have to wait for now. You still have a long day ahead of you.

Chapter Text

You let out a laugh as you’re pulled into the circle, dancing around the statue of the Change God with the crowd. Everyone laughs with you, matching your movements as the band plays louder and louder. People are singing, people are chanting, and everyone is having a wonderful time.

Your cloak is a mess, stained with spots of different shaded paint, and your hat is covered in flower petals…but you don’t care about the mess. You feel so free, you feel so alive! Some petals even managed to get in your hair somehow, the now lightless appearance of it really making the multiple shades of the flowers pop…you saw your reflection in a window at one point on your way through town, and they almost reminded you of Stars. It’s cute!

Your stomach is full of delicious food, your head is full of different words from different songs you’ve heard and danced to, and your heart is full of love. He was right- this is a perfect community! Everyone has been so nice, so caring, so comforting…even to someone like you, a complete stranger. Someone like you who, not long ago, was clearly a foreigner, completely oblivious to the beliefs of the country and all who inhabit it.

Someone like you who…has no story to tell. Someone like you who has never changed before.

You were instantly accepted with loving, open arms… Is this how he felt? When he woke up here? All those years ago, when he found you, he had already learned the language, adapted to Vaugarde, learned how everything works… No wonder he’d fall in love with this place. It’s just so…easy to be happy here. The smiles you see are just too contagious! You could look at those smiles forever and never get tired of them!

Talking with the styling one really helped you get out of your shell… You should’ve expected to get nervous during your first moment alone with other people. You’re not a child anymore, sure, but…you’ve never been alone with anyone other than him before. Was this another one of his not-so-great ways of teaching you a lesson? By learning the hard way? Just like…the first time you went to this town?

…Was he…expecting you to just come crawling back to him or something?

You accidentally bump into someone as you think, but they laugh it off before you can even try to apologize. Instead, they take your hand, and spin you around underneath them. Woah woah woah okay! This is happening! You fall into a fit of laughter as you land in a stupid pose, but luckily it wasn’t a terrible performance in the end–the song is over! And you nailed the ending note!

You take a moment to catch your breath as some others follow your lead, striking ending poses with you while others clap and cheer. Your smile grows as you look around, and you raise your arm above you to lean forward and bow. You watched someone do this at the end of that show you saw in the town’s theater, so this must be the right thing to do!

You hear a familiar kid whisper to his mother about you, asking her if you’re a wizard. Your hair changed shades since he saw you last, so you’ve gotta be a wizard! You snicker under your breath and lock eyes with the kid, sticking out your tongue at him and winking.

He hides behind his mother and peeks around her leg. He sticks his tongue back out at you as his mother laughs, waving at you with a sweet smile as you wave back.

That’s when you notice the sun setting on the horizon behind her. Uh-oh, you need to get home!

You wave your goodbyes to everyone you met today, and they bid you a good night.

“Bye, Siffrin!”
“We’ll see you soon, Siffrin!”
“Be careful on your way home, Siffrin!”

“See you later, Siffrin!” the styling one calls, and you smile at them with a bit more of an eager wave. “Don’t be a stranger now, y’hear?? Be safe! Oh, and happy birthday!!”

As you make your way through town towards the dirt path, you look around to see if he’s still around. You haven’t seen him since you let go of his hand, but he seemed excited about this weird celebration on your way here, so certainly he would’ve stayed for at least a little bit, right?

Well, he’s probably home by now anyway, even if he did stay for some time. With a bit of a faster pace in your steps, you hurry down the dirt path, and make your way towards the little house by the ocean.

You can’t help but start to skip on your way down, a childish giddiness hitting you just like the first time you were heading to town. But, unlike last time, there’s no looming dread over you on your way back! You’re…happy. You’re happy! You’re so happy, today was great!! How could you not be happy? You learned so much today, met so many amazing people, and even…changed yourself. You’ve never done that before! Your darkless cloak now has different shades all over it, and sure it’ll wash out later, but it’s still different. It’s…nice to be different.

You want to teach the world about your origins, yes, that hasn’t changed, but…when you have nothing to work off of, what are you supposed to do?

Until you remember more, you…you think you’re really going to like it here.

Vaugarde is weird, but…it’s nice.

The floorboards of the front porch creak under your steps. You’ve heard it plenty of times whenever he would return home, but now the roles are reversed! You laugh quietly under your breath as you reach for the door, stepping inside.

You hear movement in the kitchen.
    > “I’m hooooome~!”

“Welcome back, bright one,” he starts, his back turned to you as he works over the kitchen counter. Oooh Stars, it smells heavenly in here… There’s no way, is he making–?! “I hope you’re not too full. I’m making your favorite.”

Malanga fritters???
    > “I’m not full!! Not even close!!!”

That’s a lie. But you’ll always have room for those fritters. Always.

He chuckles at your excitement, shaking his head. “You certainly sound energetic. I’m surprised you’re not completely exhausted after your big day today.”

Despite him looking away from you, you shake your head, waving your hands around happily.
    > “No way. I had so much fun!! Thank you for letting me go today!”

He chuckles again. You smile.
    > “Oh, and uh…I’d like today to be my birthday. I hope I’m not picking yours, eheh.”

“Don’t worry about that, bright one. I’ve been holding off on my own until you picked yours first,” he hums, placing some fritters on a napkin. “I had a feeling you’d pick today. You’ll have to tell me all about it soon enough.”

You can barely focus on the conversation, the smell of the freshly fried fritters making you bounce in place. You know you have to wait for them to cool down, but you don’t wanna!!!
You bounce more.
    > “Did you add hot peppers this time?”

“I did, yes,” he starts, turning over his shoulder. “You seemed very adamant on–...”

He suddenly…goes quiet as he looks at you, the sound of the spoon he was using to pick up the hot food clattering to the ground and breaking the silence.

The sound was enough to make you flinch, your hands hovering over your ears before you slowly lower them back down.

…He’s staring at you.
    > “W-what? What’s wrong?”

“...What…did you do?”

     > “Huh? N-nothing, I didn’t do anythin—”

“Siffrin,” he suddenly hisses out, stepping closer to you. You flinch again, stepping back. “Your hair, Siffrin, that doesn’t look like nothing to me. What did you do??”

What’s happening? Why is he yelling??
    > “It’s- it’s just dye! It’s not—”

“And your cloak…! Your perfect, darkless cloak. It’s ruined-” Without hesitation, he grabs the collar of your cloak. You involuntarily make a weak, startled sound as he holds you. “What is this?? Is this…paint? Whatever is in your hair better be similar. It needs to be washed out, now.”

You can hardly understand him. You’re shaking up a storm, like you’re in a blizzard. “What were you thinking, Siffrin?” it’s cold…it’s really, really cold. “How could you- how could you do this? How could you be so selfish, Siffrin?” your head is full of fuzz. “Do you hate me that much? Do you hate your country that much to ruin something so special from it?” you have no idea where to look. you have no idea what to say. “How could you let me down like this?”

you can hardly b reathe,

you feel like your heart is about to bur st out of your c hest. he can probably f eel it be ating from how tightly hes gra bbing your cloak

you feel like youre goingto pass ou t

 a nd   th en,

you f eel

   a

  t
    u
      g,

◁◁

—“And your cloak…! Your perfect, darkless cloak. It’s ruined-” Without hesitation, he–...lowers his hands, taking in a very slow breath, and lets it out.

…Wh-...what?

Your…head hurts. What happened? You feel so dizzy…

“...My apologies, I did not mean to have such an…outburst. Your new appearance was just…very shocking to me, that’s all.”

…You’re getting a really weird sense of déjà vu.

You let a whine slip out as you hold your head.

He…doesn’t seem surprised about your current state. You open your mouth, but he speaks first. “Your hair, it’s just…I didn’t expect you to change it. Darkless hair was a common trait for our people, from what I understand, something about being closer to the Universe…being closer to the Stars.” You sink into your cloak as he continues, feeling…guilty, suddenly. Did you…let him down? But that’s…that’s not what you wanted at all… “I’ll admit that I am…quite relieved to know it is simply just dye. If this was permanent, I…”

You look down. You’d take off your hat as a sign of respect, but…you have a feeling showing off the rest of your hair would make him more upset.

You…really messed up. Maybe you should fix it tomorrow. The styling one said they could reverse it using Craft if you didn’t like it. You can make him happy…! You can fix it!

But for now, you…only look down in guilt. You feel like crying.
    > “I… I’m sorry, I…I-I shouldn’t have been so selfish…”

He tilts his head, hovering his hand over your shoulder. You step forward so he can set it down. “Selfish? Oh no, bright one, I don’t think you’re selfish. I would never think you’re selfish for wanting to have fun, for wanting to explore and learn… That’d make me quite the hypocrite, don’t you think?” he laughs. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’ll wash out, I’m sure, so everything will be okay.”

…Yeah, it’ll…it’ll be okay.
    > (Nod.)

“Maybe you should bathe with your cloak on,” he joked, brushing his hand along the patches of paint. “Wash everything out at once…make it more efficient.” You do your best to laugh, but it…kinda hurts. This sudden headache is really distracting. “But for now…why don’t you get ready to lay down? I’ll bring you some fritters after they’ve cooled down, and you can have them as a nice snack before bed. We’ll call it a birthday dessert, heh. How’s that sound?”

You smile weakly and nod again.
    > “Okay… Thank you.”

You can feel him smile as he nods, leaning down to rest your heads together. Woah, tired…really tired. Your exhaustion from today must be finally catching up with you… “Of course, bright one… Happy birthday.”

As you carefully make your way to your room, you stop to stare at yourself in the mirror, looking your reflection up and down.

…It’s you.

It’s you, and your…absolute mess of an appearance.

What were you thinking? How could you ruin something so special to your country? You should’ve known better. You should’ve known…

Your stomach hurts.

By the time he arrives with the cooled down fritters, you’re already laying in bed, pretending to be asleep. He quietly steps over and places a plate down on your nightstand, very, very gently running a hand through your hair. Almost silently, he hums, and you have a feeling it was a sign of disappointment. Why wouldn’t it be? You let him down…or at least you think you let him down.

…After a moment, he leans down and places what feels like a kiss on the top of your head, then quietly exits your room, closing the door behind him.

You curl up, holding onto your rolled up starry blanket from when you were a kid. Having it near you always made you feel better, feel safe…you hope you can still feel that now.

It’s fine. It’s going to be fine. You’re going to fix it tomorrow.

You’ll fix it. He’ll be happy. You haven’t let him down yet. You haven’t. It’s fine. It’s fine.

It’s…fine.

…You hope the Universe will forgive you.

Chapter Text

you hear a voice.

it whispers something.

it’s a question.

you stare up at t

                          h 

                            e universe

                         the source of the voice

                                      to answer.

you breathe in

a hand reaches down from the void of the sky,

and you place your hand

  on one of its fingertips.

                       , and out, ready to answer,

but

it twi sts

   an d    grabs,

 y ouve
f e   lt
        thi s

                                               before

 yo u,

–!!!

You wake up.

You don’t even give yourself a moment to breathe before you push yourself out of bed, grabbing your paint covered cloak and hurrying out of your room. You rush by the kitchen, ignoring him as you pass him before you head outside, not bothering to answer him as he calls for you.

It asked that same question again. No matter what you do, it always ends in the same result.

You’re crushed. You’re crushed. You’re crushed.

Clearly, you haven’t been forgiven yet. But you should expect that. It hasn’t even been a day since you ruined yourself. Since you let him down. Since you decided to be selfish.

…You’re not sure where you’re getting these assumptions from. He didn’t say anything like that, and he denied ever even thinking that, and you believe him…but something in the back of your head is telling you otherwise. He’s disappointed in you. You let him down. He thinks you’re selfish. He thinks you’re selfish.

And he’s probably right.

You’re already halfway to town by the time you realize you forgot your hat. Way to make things worse, Siffrin, showing off how you cut away one of the biggest roots you had to your country.

You cut it, and let it shrivel up and rot for all of the Universe to see. How disgusting.

At least this way it’ll be easier to show him that you fixed it when you return home. You’ll have nothing to hide soon enough. You just need to…

Your boots hit stone. You’re here.

You ignore the curious eyes on you as you move through the town. Left, right, left again, and you push open the door to that familiar building.

There’s a startled squeak from the styling one at the other side of the room, their eyes wide as they turn towards you. “WAH!! Who’s there!! We’re not open ye— Siffrin?” You watch them step around some boxes to get closer to you. You’re still in the doorway, trying to catch your breath. You feel dizzy. “Woah woah woah, what’s wrong? You look like you just got done running halfway around the world…!”

You feel like it too.
    > “Fi–...fix… Please.”

“Huh? W-wait a second, Siffrin, come over here at least?” they start, their voice littered with nothing but concern as they gently take your hands. You drop your cloak. “Come on, sit down, please. You’re so pale, did- did you not eat anything before you ran?” You don’t respond. They carefully lead you to that same chair as before, making sure you’re comfortable before they let go of your hands. They’re so nice…it’s so weird.

Before you can try to speak, they bring you a handful of cut fruit. Apple slices, peach slices, pineapple slices… You hold out a hand to deny the offering, but they just…put the peach slices in a napkin and plop it on your lap, taking back the other snacks for now.

You try to smile, holding your napkin of fruit.
    > “Peaches? Do I really look that pit- iful to you right now?”

…They don’t laugh, they just look…upset. Your smile falls. That worked yesterday…oh well.

They lean over slightly to try and meet your gaze. You don’t let them, looking away. “Did something happen, Siffrin? You look so sad…”

You don’t know how to respond. You just take a bite of your snack and shake your head.

“I may have only met you yesterday, but…I have a hard time believing that,” they try to laugh. “You can talk to me, it’s okay. What’s got you so upset?”

. . .

You don’t…want to hurt their feelings. You don’t want them to think they did a horrible job. No, they did a perfect job, and you loved the results just like you said you would, but…

You point to your hair.
    > “Can you…fix this?”

“Fix-... OH!” They buzz their lips and wave a hand, looking embarrassed. “Siffriiiin, why didn’t you just say so?? If you don’t like the lightless look, we can change it! I don’t mind!” They smile softly at you. You feel…warm. Huh? “What made you change your mind?” As they continue, they walk over towards those barrels and grab some gloves again, this time bringing over what seems to be…soap? “You seemed to like it yesterday… You weren’t lying just to make me feel better about it, were you?” They sniffle.

You sputter for a second.
    > “N-no no, I didn’t! Please don’t be—”

“I’m messing with you, Siffrin,” they giggle. “I’m not upset, I promise. Just trying to make you smile.”

…Oh.

You sit back in your seat, slowly munching away at your peach slices as they step behind you. “...I am curious about the real answer, though.” They quietly count down from three before placing their hands on your head, making sure not to startle you. They were doing that yesterday, too…what a weird thing to notice. “What made you change your mind?”

You take a second to answer, finding yourself getting distracted from their fingers moving through your hair. Feels nice…
    > “It’s my–...”

…Stars, you might as well say that. You don’t feel like explaining otherwise.
    > “...It’s my…dad. He doesn’t like it.”

They blow a raspberry. “Whaaat? Lame… Sounds like a big grumpy loser who doesn’t like fun.”

You want to laugh, but…

You hum nervously.
    > “No, it’s…it’s for a good reason.”

“What makes you say that?”

. . .

Your head hurts.
    > “Darkless hair is…common for our people. He takes our origins very seriously, and I…ruined that. So I-I, uh…wanted to fix it.”

“...Oh. I see.”

They continue to spread the soap through your hair in silence for a few seconds, seemingly unsure of what to say.

Finally, they move slightly so you can look up at them, and they move your bangs out of your face. “Where exactly…are you from, Siffrin?”

You flinch.

They immediately step back and hold up their hands. “S-sorry, sorry! Did I pull your hair? I didn’t mean to!”

…You…slowly shake your head.
    > “No, I– You didn’t, I’m okay. Sorry.”

Some of the soap lather falls from your bangs…and lands on your nose. They let out a snort, and you can’t help but smile. “Okay, okay…just making sure.” They pull back their glove just enough to free their thumb, and they brush the soap off of your nose with a giggle. “Nevermind the details. I know strict parents can be hard to deal with, so…if this keeps you safe, I’ll do what needs to be done.”

You raise a brow as they fix their glove, moving behind you once again.
    > “Keeps me…safe?”

They count down from three, and move their fingers through your hair once again. “Well, I don’t want to make assumptions, but…you looked scared when you got here. And if you’re this worried about how he feels over something as silly as hair dye…” Their movements stop. You blink, tilting your head back slightly to try and look at them. They look…worried. “Siffrin, are you…safe at home? Please be honest.”

Huh??
    > “Huh?? Yeah, I’m fine!”

“Your dad just sounds kinda…”

     > “He’s fine.”

You watch them blink at your quick response, and you sputter, doing your best to smile.
    > “I’m okay, really, I promise! It was just- I…”

Why do you feel the need to explain? Is that normal? It probably is, right??

You don’t have a good way of explaining how you changed something important to your country that you have absolutely no memory of and he was upset when it looked like you didn’t care about it–even if you didn’t know! It was reasonable, he had every right to be mad! You were selfish and wanted to change when you shouldn’t have! You should’ve known better!

…But that’s too complicated to explain. So…think of something else!!

Say not stupid words that make sense!!!
    > “I-I… I got grounded!!!! I got grounded. Cause I. Didn’t ask. About the hair. That’s it!”

They…stare for a few seconds, and it feels so agonizingly long to you that you feel like a couple years went by, but then…they snort, raising a brow. “Wait, so…is this your key to getting ungrounded? Just…getting rid of the dye?”

You smile shyly, nodding.
    > “You’ll still help me right? I don’t wanna be grounded…I’ll be soooo sad…”

They fall into a fit of giggles, rolling their eyes. “Okaaaay okay, I’ll help you escape the terrible grasp of classic parenting.” You let out a dramatic, relieved sigh, and they giggle some more. “Now get ready to hold still, I’m gonna start washing this out soon.”

You smile, tossing the last peach slice in your mouth as they step away to get some water. You tilt your head side to side to stretch, taking the opportunity to move around while you’re alone.

…But now that you’re alone, you…can’t help but think…

What a weird thing for them to ask.

Of course you’re safe at home! He’s nice! He cooks for you every day, he helps you study when you’re having trouble with some words, he enjoys listening to you when you talk about things you like or show him your hobbies that you’ve picked up at home…he’s a nice person! Stars, you’d be willing to call him dad if it wasn’t so…embarrassing. But you’ll never admit that part.

Of course you’re safe. He raised you. He gave you a place to stay for all these years, without even knowing your name…

It’s not really any different than how it works in Vaugarde, right? Being accepted and cared for and…loved, without a moment of hesitation? That’s…normal here. And that’s how it was- how it is with him. It’s the same kind of thing.

Of course you’re safe.

So…what makes them so worried?

You startle slightly as you hear the sound of water sloshing around, and you turn over your shoulder to check on the styling one, watching them carry over a big bucket of water. They’re…struggling a little. “I’m good! I got it, I got it-” they reassured, exhaling sharply as they set down the water bucket. “Okay, Siffrin. This is your last chance to back out. I can still keep your hair lightless if you reeeeally really want it. I can, uh…change it back again if you change your mind again, but…I can only save you from getting grounded so many times, okay?” They laugh. “So…what’s the plan? Are we washin’, or keepin’?”

You smile, leaning your head back.
    > “Washin’.”

“You got it!” With a deep breath, they pick up the bucket again, their voice a bit strained as they lift it up higher and higher in front of their chest. “N-now hold still. On the count of three, c-close your eyes and hold your breath for a second, o-okay?”

You blink, leaning your head back more to watch them upside-down.
    > “Hold my breath? What do you mea—”

“Three-”

Are they lifting the bucket higher?

…Oh no.
     > “H-hey, wait, are you gonna pour all of that on me—??”

“ T-two–”

OH STARS—
    > (Hold your breath!!!!!!!)

“One!!”

S P L A S H ! !

Chapter Text

“Sorry sorry sorry I’m sorryyyy… I should’ve warned you…!”

You stare at the styling one with a little grin, your hair covered by a towel while the rest of you drips off the rest of the water. The sound of the water dripping off of you and landing in some small buckets under you is enough to fill the silence. You snicker under your breath.

“W-what? What are you laughing about?”

You smirk.
    > “Don’t be sorry about this. I thought it was a water -ful experience.”

They pause, and…groan, but they have a veeeery tiny smile on their face. Nailed it. “That was bad, Siffrin, you can do better than that!” they giggle, shaking their head. “I’m already working on cleaning your cloak as an apology, you don’t have to torment me with terrible jokes!”

You stick out your tongue with a smile.

…But you eventually clear your throat.
    > “Jokes aside… I want to thank you.”

“Hm?” They look up from their barrel of water, the sight of your cloak barely peeking out from the surface as they hold it in their hands. Looks clean already! “For what?”

     > “For…helping me? For the hair change, for helping me clean my cloak…”

“Aww, Siffrin! You don’t have to thank me!” they laugh, smiling sweetly at you. “And before you ask, no, you don’t owe me anything. I’m just helping a friend out!”

…Helping a…

You tilt your head, feeling…warm.
    > “A…friend?”

“Uh, yeah? Duh? At least I think we’re friends.” Their smile turns a bit nervous as they look at you again. You blink. “...Do you…not agree?”

Your cheeks burn in embarrassment.
    > “...I-I…I’ve never had a friend before.”

Besides him, of course, but…it’s a little awkward to say that now that you called him your dad.

Their expression falls slightly, but then they smile again, something so warm and welcoming in their light eyes. “Well then. I’d be happy to be your friend, Siffrin. If you’d like.”

…Oh.

You smile shyly, nodding your head.
    > “Um… Yeah, I’d like that.”

They beam, splashing their hands in the water with a laugh. “Great! I can help introduce you to some of the others in town too, and you can meet my other friends! Oh, and the others I met at the House too, I’m sure they’d love to get to know you! I think you’re really gonna like them, everyone is so nice and so sweet and so…”

Your eyes fall as you listen to them go on and on, their eyes full of love as they describe their other friends. Other friends… You’re a part of that now. You’re…their friend. You’re their friend, and they’re your friend! You didn’t think it would be this easy, but with everything he told you about Vaugarde, it’s…not surprising, either. This place is so weird. This place is so…nice.

…You realize that you never got their name. Oops! You’ll ask later.

“...but everything was crazy busy, so we ended up not going and just stayed home, and that turned out to be great too! She had this–oh Change how long have I been talking?” they giggle, looking embarrassed. “Your hair is probably dry by now if you want to take the towel off. You can, uh…use it for the rest of you now, eheh. Sorry I only had one towel…”

You snort, waving a hand to dismiss the apology. You reach up and ruffle your hair wildly with the towel, making sure to dry off any last drop of water that could be hiding on your head.

With a huff, you pull the towel off and hold it to the side, striking a dramatic pose.
     > “Ta-daaaa!”

Your hair is back to darkless perfection! And it’s all thanks to them! It’s fixed!

…So why are they…looking at you like that?

Their smile is gone. Their eyes are wide. They look…shocked.

You try to keep up your smile.
    > “...Ta-da?”

“Oh, Siffrin…”

You tilt your head, and…some of your bangs fall in your face. You look up, and…

…Your hair is…still dark.

Your hair is still lightless.

Your hair is still   stained,

They drape your cloak over the side of the water barrel to let it dry, stepping closer to you. “Siffrin, try to control your breathing, you’re panicking.” You’re panicking? Oh, you are, hahaha!! You didn’t know!! Nooo way!!! “Can I touch you? Nod your head if that’s okay, you don’t have to talk. Just breathe, please.” You nod. You nod. you nod.

they step closer. their hands…are on your cheeks. they’re holding your  face. your friend     is     holding your face. their thumbs   brush  against  your cheekbones,

you don’t know where to look. you don’t know what to say. “Siffrin, try to follow me, okay? In, and out… Breathe. Breathe.” you try. you try to breathe.

it’s not fixed. it’s not fixed it’s not fixed its not fixed its not fixed its not fixed its not fixed

your head hurts

“Siffrin, look at me. Please? Can you do that?” your gaze finally   reaches their eyes. their glossy  light eyes take your focus. you       breathe in,  “There you go… Just like that, Siffrin, you’re okay.” and   out.  youre      breathing. youre breathing. “You’re doing great, Siffrin, keep that up.” you’re…breathing.

In, and out…just like them.

Finally, you…manage to calm down. Your hands are being held. When did that happen…?

“...Siffrin, I…I’m sorry, I don’t know why it didn’t fully work.” …Fully? “B-but, but! Your roots are already coming back darkless!” They very, very slowly lead you over to a mirror. Oh, you didn’t even…realize there was one in here. “Here, look.”

You turn to look at your reflection, taking a step closer to see yourself better. You tilt your head forward to better see the top of your head, and you take back one of your hands to brush along your hair. It’s still mostly lightless, but…there is a patch of darkless riiiight at the top…

Didn’t they mention something about…the Craft in the dye making this impossible? Or…or something? Thinking about yesterday is…kind of blurry. That means this is a good thing, right?

You pull slightly at your roots, almost hoping that you’d spread the natural shade faster.

Your eyes move to look at your friend in the mirror as they reach around for your hand, gently taking it again and stopping you from pulling. It wasn’t going to work anyways. They seem to read your mind, already talking and answering your question. “I think I…messed it up somehow. I don’t know if it was the dye or…the soap I used to wash it out, but something went wrong when I used Craft. I…I’m really sorry.”

You shake your head. It’s not their fault. It’s not.
    > “It’s okay. You…still helped a lot.”

“But your dad, he—”

     > “I’ll be fine.”

You try to smile.
    > “I’ll…be fine. It’s okay. It’s better than nothing.”

“Siffrin…”

You gently squeeze their hands before you let go, stepping away from them to retrieve your cloak. They’re still looking at you. “At least put the blame on me if he gets more upset.” You shake your head, flicking your cloak a couple times to try and dry it. “Siffrin, I don’t want you getting hurt.”

You shake your head again.
    > “I told you already. I’m safe, I promise.”

“I really, really want to believe that. I wish I could…but there are a lot of things that are adding up that only make me more worried.” They take a step closer. You flick your cloak again. “You’re jumpy and get scared from touch, you didn’t know about Craft until yesterday, you had a panic attack over your hair not turning back to darkless right, because of how he saw your decision to change…” You look away from them. They whine in rising worry. “A-and- and he’s refusing to let you change, even though you live here. You both live here, and he’s getting upset over something that’s so important to Vaugarde. He’s getting upset over the concept of Change, over you being happy!”

They take another step to reenter your field of vision. You don’t bother turning away anymore. “Is there something I’m missing, Siffrin? Is there some big detail that makes this…normal for you? Because it’s not. It’s not normal, Siffrin, and it’s worrying.”

You don’t know what to say. You just stare down at your cloak in silence.

“...Sorry. I- I’m sorry,” they mumble, staring towards the ground. “I don’t mean to make assumptions and everything, it’s just…I’ve only ever met someone like you once before, and she ran away to live at the House, desperate for any sort of way to get away from her parents.” They look at you again, and you finally return the gaze. Their expression falls into pure sorrow, and you blink.

…Oh. You’re…you’re crying.

“Oh Change, Siffrin…” They step closer again, hovering their hands in front of you. You…don’t move, and they take their hands back. “...I won’t talk about this anymore, I’m sorry, but just know that…you always have a place here, okay? You can stay with me and my siblings, or I can bring you to the House to stay there. They’ve always got extra rooms there in case of emergencies.”

. . .
        (Take the offer.)
    > “...Thank you.”

You smile. Your head hurts.
        (Take the offer.)
    > “I know you’re worried, but…”

You reach up and wipe your cheeks.
        (Take the offer.)
    > “...I’ll be okay. I’ll keep that in mind though, I promise.”

…They look like they’re about to cry.

You smile more.
        (Take it. Take it. Take it.)
    > “...I should head home. Thank you for helping me today.”

“Siffrin…”

With a wave, you…make your way outside, holding your still-soaked cloak against your chest.

You just have to get home. Focus, and retrace your steps. This time, you’ll just head right, then left, and right again…easy. You can do that. You just have to get home.

But as you turn the corner to walk away from your friend’s shop, you bump into someone, and…you look up at him.

Your breath gets caught in your throat, and you barely manage to keep yourself from coughing. You hear your friend call your name from inside. Oh, they can probably see you both through the window. You silently beg the Universe to make sure they stay inside.

His head tilts slowly as he looks down at you, and his hair moves along with him. He’s not smiling. “...That was quite the conversation, wasn’t it, bright one.” You don’t respond, finding it hard to speak, let alone breathe. He…heard all of that? “Do you not trust me? After all these years…if I wanted to hurt you, don’t you think I would have by this point?” You can’t breathe. It’s so cold. “I just want you to live to your full potential, bright one, that’s all…” His hand very slowly reaches forward and- you flinch harshly- brushes your hair behind your ear. Cold. Cold. Cold. “...and cutting away ties to our country is–” He suddenly grips your hair, making you shutter with a pained wince. “–unacceptable. You understand that, don’t you?” You’re freezing. You can’t move.

You hear your name behind you. Your friend, they’re calling for you, you hear footsteps,

they “Stop it!! Leave Siffrin alone!” step in front of you

he

“Don’t TOUCH HIM—!!!”

     raises a fist

you feel a t

◁◁

—You don’t even give yourself a moment to breathe before you push yourself out of bed, grabbing your paint covered cloak and hurrying out of your room. You rush by the kitchen, ignoring him as you–...run right into him as he steps into the hall. Stars, how did he know you were…

Woah, you’re…dizzy. Really dizzy. You probably…moved too fast. Your head hurts…

He mumbles a quiet warning before he places his hands on your shoulders, carefully bringing you into the kitchen to let you sit down. You feel like your head is splitting in two. “Easy, bright one… Please, relax, you don’t need to rush into anything.”

Your hands shake a little as you grip your stained cloak.
    > “B-but my hair, I can—”

“You don’t need to worry about fixing it right now.” But you need to. You need to… “You haven't eaten anything since the celebration yesterday, and you fell asleep before I could bring you some fritters.” He turns towards you. You…feel cold, for some reason. Maybe you’re just that dizzy. “You look like you’re about to pass out, bright one. Please, eat…we can go into town together, and we’ll work on this together. It’s only fair after my outburst…I should not have reacted that way, and I’m sorry.”

He reaches forward to brush your hair out of your face. You flinch. He hums, taking back his hand. “...You understand why I was upset, don’t you?”

. . .

You nod, trying not to move too much.
    > “...Because…cutting away our ties to home is…unacceptable?”

He tilts his head, letting out a sigh. “Oh Stars, I wouldn’t phrase it like that. That’s a bit harsh, don’t you think?” You…nod again, slowly. You swear you’ve heard him say that before, but…maybe you’re just misremembering something. “It was just…a big change that I wasn’t expecting. But you’ve learned! You know now why it’s not a good thing, so it won’t be hard to change back. And we can look into other things to change instead, if you want to keep playing around with their little beliefs and such.” …Yeah. Play… Play around. “I think it’s a bit silly, but…whatever makes you happy, bright one. That’s what’s important to me.”

. . .
    > “...Okay.”

You’re having a hard time focusing on everything with this headache. Hopefully it’ll settle soon once you finish your breakfast…you don’t want to sleep again this early into the day.

Maybe you can introduce him to the styling one. They had a good idea on what they were doing, so you can show him that it’s easy to fix, and he doesn’t have to worry if you make another mistake like this. You can always just…change it back. You can always fix it.

You think a day out with him would be nice anyway. You haven’t actually spent a day out in town with him since you learned Vaugardian, considering he seemed to just…head right home during the festival. Maybe you can learn what he’s been up to in town whenever he’s gone for the day.

…Though, admittedly, you can’t help but wonder…if you’ll ever make a friend at this rate. If he’s going to breathe down your neck about every little thing…will you ever get the chance to spend time with someone your own age in town?

Oh well…you’ll get there when you get there.

And after taking a few minutes to stretch and grab your belongings, you take his hand, and the two of you start to walk down the dirt path to town.

You hope everything turns out okay.

Chapter Text

You’re both silent for most of the walk. Every so often, he’d point something out in the fields for you to look at, and you would, but…you would stay silent. You don’t know what to say. The headache from earlier never really went away, even after you ate.

You wonder if it has something to do with that dream you had again. No matter what you do, it always ends in the same result.

You’re crushed. You’re crushed. You’re crushed.

Clearly, you haven’t been forgiven yet. But you should expect that. It hasn’t even been a day since you ruined yourself. Since you let him down. Since you decided to be selfish.

Since you decided to cut away one of the biggest ties you had to your country, something he would only view as completely unacceptable. How disgusting.

…You’re not sure where you’re getting these assumptions from. He didn’t say anything like that, and he denied ever even thinking that, even saying you were being too harsh on yourself, and you believe him…but something in the back of your head is telling you otherwise. He’s disappointed in you. You let him down. He thinks you’re selfish. He thinks you’re selfish.

And he’s probably right.

…You’re getting that weird sense of déjà vu again. It’s making your headache worse.

You slow your steps slightly, and he slows down with you, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. “Are you alright, bright one?”

You nod.
    > “Head still hurts…”

“I see… Why don’t we stop somewhere to sit down and relax before we work on your hair?” he offers, looking down at you as you continue to walk. You can just barely see his usual welcoming smile behind his hair. “Did you stop by the theater at all yesterday? They put on all sorts of wonderful plays there. I’m sure they’d let you sit in the dark for a little while before their next show. It might help with your headache.”

You shake your head.
    > “But my—”

“Your hair can wait a little longer, bright one, it’s alright.” He turns to face forward again. “I’d rather make sure you’re feeling okay first.”

You hum, looking down at the dirt below you. Why do you feel like you keep getting tugged back and forth on how he’s feeling? You can’t figure it out. Every time you try to think about it, your head feels like it’s gonna split open, and you feel like you’re going to throw up.

That seems like an exaggeration. But it’s a valid exaggeration to make!

…Or maybe it’s because your stomach kinda hurts. Maybe you ate too fast earlier. That’s always been a bad habit of yours since you were a kid. And your head still hurts. Can’t forget that part. The combination of those two things really sucks.

Wow, you’re just. Livin’ the dream today, huh!

Finally, your boots hit stone. You’re here.

Before you can head to the styling one, he starts to lead you towards the town’s theater instead, waving to anyone who passes by as they smile at you both. You do your best to return the greetings, waving at anyone familiar.

“Good morning, sir, how are you so far today?”
“Siffriiin, hiiii!! Nice to see you again!”
“Who’s the young one you’re with, sir?”
“Oh, Siffrin, you met him too? Hehe, what a small world!”

…No one seems to know who you are in relation to him. Guess he…never talked about you before.

You try not to think about that.

Making your way into the theater, you let out a relieved sigh as the sunlight shuts out behind you. The dark does help a little… You let your hand slip out of his hold as he starts to walk away from you, looking around the large theater full of empty seats. “Hm…it seems that we are very early. None of their props are even set up yet.” He turns to look at you, chuckling under his breath. “I realized that I never quite gave you a chance to answer earlier. Did you watch any of their shows while you were visiting yesterday?”

You slowly nod, following him to get closer to the empty stage.
    > “Just one. It was about a knight and…a princess? I think that’s the word.”

You jump up to the stage, sitting on the edge and letting your legs dangle off the side.
    > “It was fun at first, but then it got kinda gross… I didn’t stay for the whole thing.”

“It got…gross?” He tilts his head, laughing again. “What do you mean?”

You shrug, looking down.
    > “I’m not really a romance fan.”

“Ohh, I see…I understand.”

You two remain quiet for a few moments, only the sound of your heels hitting the side of the stage every few beats as you idly kick your feet.

Finally, he continues, slipping back into your native tongue. “If there was a princess, you must’ve learned about monarchies and royal families then. Vaugarde doesn’t have a monarchy, so…I can only assume that wasn’t a topic in your studies before yesterday.” You shake your head. There were a few words in the show that you didn’t know, so that also played a part in you leaving early. He hums. “Is there anything you would like help with understanding?”

You don’t think a language lesson is gonna help your headache at all, but…

It could be a nice distraction from everything else.
    > “What’s a king?”

He seemed a bit startled when you continued in Vaugardian, but…that’s the only way you know that word. Heh, how weird. “A king is…a very powerful and mighty ruler of a kingdom, or country, or some sort of independent territory. It’s usually a hereditary title, and is inherited through several generations of a single family, sometimes referred to as a royal family. It is very rare that such a position can be granted to someone if those customs are not already pre-established.”

You nod along as he explains, fiddling with your cloak in your lap.
     > “When would that happen?”

“What, someone becoming a king without a royal family?” You nod, and he hums again. “...That’s a difficult question to give only one answer to.” You…nod. You thought he was finished, but then he continues. “A king’s role is to ensure that everyone is safe and happy. He does what is necessary to make sure his land, his kingdom, his people, his loved ones…are perfect.”

You smile a little.
    > “So…kind of like you?”

He…slowly looks at you. “What…?”

     > “That sounds like you. You make sure that I’m safe by taking care of me and giving me a home, you make sure I’m happy by indulging in the things I like and making my favorite foods all the time, and…”

Your hand trails up to brush through your hair.
    > “...you do what’s necessary to make sure I’m perfect. In, uh…the name of our country, and all that.”

“...I…I see.” He’s…quiet for a long while, and you swallow nervously. Did you say something wrong? “Bright one, I—”

“Hey, kid, can you get off the stage, please?” a new voice calls, and you quickly slide off the edge and rush back to his side, holding onto his hand. You peek around him as you watch a stranger walk out from the back of the stage, a few others starting to move set pieces and props behind her. “Sorry, gentlemen.” You blink. That feels weird when you’re being referred to that way. “We’re about to start pre-show rehearsal. We’ll need the room. You two can come back later when we’re performing for real.”

“My apologies, madame,” he says with a small laugh. “We wish you the best of luck for your shows today. Hopefully we’ll catch one before sundown.”

“Yeah yeah, lookin’ forward to it. Now, uh…please leave. Thank you.”

With an awkward wave goodbye, you follow him outside, and he takes a moment to…stop and stare at the Change God statue. You smile a little as you hear him laugh.
You tug at him a little to try and get closer.
    > “I learned that you can ask the Change God for favors if you, uh…believe strongly, or something.”

“...Is that so?”

You nod.
    > “Do you want to try?”

He…laughs again, shaking his head. Before you can say anything else, he gently leads you away from the statue, heading back through town. “We have the Universe on our side already, bright one, asking for favors isn’t necessary. The thought of that thing being helpful is…quite adorable though, I suppose I can see the appeal.”

You blink, but…nod, following behind him quietly. You’d feel weird talking bad about a god, even if it’s…not yours.

…Oh Stars, you got off track! You gotta stop stalling!
    > “W-wait, my hair! We should–”

“Oh, of course, your hair…! Hah, look at us, getting distracted by silly statues and language lessons. Whatever shall we do about your hair…”

You hum, squeezing his hand.
    > “I- I know where to go. Can… Can I take the lead? Please?”

He doesn’t say anything at first, but…eventually, he nods, and you step in front of him to pull him along. Wait, where’s the… Oh, there’s the dirt path back home over there. So from there, you go left, right, left again…

There it is. You almost feel…excited, seeing the styling one’s shop, like they’ve been your friend for years and you haven’t seen them in forever. Whatever the case, you look up at him with a smile before pushing the door open.

You watch the styling one turn in your direction, their hands in a stranger’s hair while a couple others wait around the room. Oh, they look really busy… But they still smile at you, happily waving to greet you. “Siffrin! What a pleasant surprise!”

You smile shyly, waving back to them as you step inside with him.
    > “Hi, uh…do you have time to help me with something?”

“Oh, um, I will soon! Just gotta get through everyone else in my waiting room, yeah?” they giggle. Oh, right, they’re working. Way to be rude! “You can sit wherever you’d like while you wait.” You nod and make your way over to a set of empty seats, bringing him along with you. They smile warmly, looking between you and him. “And who might you be, sir? Any friend of Siffrin is a friend of mine!”

Friend…? No, he’s more like…

…Stars, you might as well say that. You don’t feel like explaining otherwise.

You let out an awkward laugh.
    > “Uh, th-this is my—”

“King.”

You…blink a couple times, turning to look at him.

You see him smile under his hair as he waves to them.

“Call me King. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Chapter Text

…So he…finally picked a…

“What a cool name! Sounds like something out of a storybook,” the styling one giggles, grabbing a towel and starting to dry off the little stranger’s hair. “It’s so nice to meet another friend of Siffrin.”

…Another? Who else is there?

“My name is—”

“I am already aware of who you are,” he chuckles. You turn to look at him with a raised brow. Huh? How does he know–…

…You realize that you never got their name. Oops! You’ll ask later.

“I’ve heard quite a few things about you from your time at the House. The House in Dormont, correct? A few towns over?”

They stare for a second, suddenly looking…embarrassed, letting out a nervous laugh. “O-oh, you have? How many horror stories has Euphrasie told you?”

“You worry too much.” He tilts his head slightly, revealing that usual smile behind his long hair. “That lovely Housemaiden had nothing but praise behind her tales of you.”

…Euphrasie?

Hearing that name…makes your head hurt again.

Augh …just when you thought the ache was gone.

“R-really? Aw, Euphrasie…” They laugh a little bit more, ruffling the hair of the stranger with the towel. “I wasn’t that great there, I just—”

“You managed to put Craft into your hair dye for it to last as long as possible. As long as the one who uses it still wants the shade, it can withstand any washing or unpredicted rainstorm.” They’re…staring at him, not looking very embarrassed anymore, just…in awe of some sort. “I think that’s incredible. I’m sure a few of your classmates still have their favorite shades in their hair to this day, thanks to you.”

“...Right, yeah.” They smile a little, looking between him and…you. “How long have you known each other for? You seem close, at least to me. Almost like you’re family.”

You feel…nervous answering that, but you open your mouth to answer.
    > “We—”

“A few years now,” he answers for you, and you just…go back to being quiet. It’s like you’re not even here. You’re just…waiting your turn. “Why ask?”

“Oh, hehe, well…” They turn back to focus on the little stranger in front of them, finishing up their freshly cut hair. “It’s just…you know a lot about Dormont’s House, don’t you? Funny, since…Siffrin didn’t know anything about Craft or the Houses until I talked to him about them yesterday.” They smile as they look back at him for a moment. “I just thought that was interesting.”

…Huh?

He’s…quiet at that, his grip on your hand…suddenly very tight.

“...But what do I know! I’m just a silly little hair stylist,” they giggle, turning slightly to look at you instead. Their smile is so…gentle, sweet…comforting. “It’s Nadine, by the way. My name is Nadine.”

Oh.

…Your head doesn’t hurt anymore.

You smile a little. They look pleased, refocusing on their work once again.

. . .

King doesn’t speak again.

Finally, after working with a few others and waving them goodbye, it’s finally your turn. You step up to the spinning seat with a nervous smile, and the styling one- Nadine waits until you’re comfortable before moving behind you. They quietly count down from three before placing their hands on your head, making sure not to startle you. They were doing that yesterday, too…what a weird thing to notice. “So!” They peek over your shoulder with a grin, ruffling your hair wildly as you laugh. “What are we doing today? Are we cutting your bangs?? Are we doing an undercut??? Are we shaving your head????”

You try to hold back your laughter, shaking your head and flailing your hands around to make them stop.
    > “Noooo, noooo!! Don’t shave my heeaad!!”

They laugh, blowing a raspberry as they take their hands back. “Well then, better answer the question, Siffrin! What’s the next big change we’re gonna do to your hair so soon?”

…That’s…when your smile falls a little.

You don’t…want to hurt their feelings. You don’t want them to think they did a horrible job. No, they did a perfect job, and you loved the results just like you said you would, but…

You point to your hair.
    > “Can you…fix this?”

“Fix-... OH!” They buzz their lips and wave a hand, looking embarrassed. “Siffriiiin, why didn’t you just say so?? If you don’t like the lightless look, we can change it! I don’t mind!” They smile softly at you again. You feel…warm. Huh? “What made you change your mind?” As they continue, they walk over towards those barrels and grab some gloves again, this time bringing over what seems to be…soap? “You seemed to like it yesterday… You weren’t lying just to make me feel better about it, were you?” They sniffle.

You sputter for a second.
    > “N-no no, I didn’t! Please don’t be—”

“I’m messing with you, Siffrin,” they giggle. “I’m not upset, I promise. Just trying to make you smile.”

…Oh.

…That feeling of déjà vu again…

You sit back in your seat. “...I am curious about the real answer, though.” They quietly count down again, and start making a lather of the soap in your hair. “What made you change your mind?”

. . .

You can feel him looking at you.

You try to smile.

“Uh, I- um…
        ...It’s…King. He doesn’t like it.”
    > ...I’m going for a world record of changing, haha!”

…Nadine is quiet. Your smile turns nervous. But then…they snort. “Siffrin. You are in a very large competition for such a title.” HUH?? “I wish you luck, but if your method of changing is going to be picking a new shade of hair dye every day, you will have to start paying me eventually… I can only offer friend favors so many times, okay?”

…What did they call it?

You tilt your head, feeling…warm.
    > “A…friend favor?”

“Uh, yeah? Duh? A free favor for friends. At least I think we’re friends.” Oh, is that…what they meant earlier when they said ‘another’ friend? Their smile turns a bit nervous as they peek over your shoulder again. You blink. “...Do you…not agree?”

Your cheeks burn in embarrassment.
    > “...I-I…I’ve never had a friend before.”

Besides him, of course, but…

Their expression falls slightly, and they…stare at him for a second. But then they smile again, something so warm and welcoming in their light eyes as they look at you. “Well then. I’d be happy to be your friend, Siffrin. If you’d like.”

…Oh.

You smile shyly, trying not to nod too much and mess them up.
    > “Um… Yeah, I’d like that.”

They beam, moving their hands a bit faster in your hair. “Great! I can help introduce you to some of the others in town too, and you can meet my other friends! Oh, and the others I met at the House too, I’m sure they’d love to get to know you! I think you’re really gonna like them, everyone is so nice and so sweet and so…”

Your eyes fall as you listen to them go on and on, finding yourself feeling more and more relaxed as the minutes go by. Other friends… You’re a part of that now. You’re…Nadine’s friend. You’re their friend, and they’re your friend! You didn’t think it would be this easy, but with everything he told you about Vaugarde, it’s…not surprising, either. This place is so weird. This place is so…nice.

“...but everything was crazy busy, so we ended up not going and just stayed home, and that turned out to be great too! She had this–oh Change how long have I been talking?” they giggle, looking embarrassed as you lean back to look at them.

Admittedly, you were struggling to stay awake from the head massage, but you managed to push through. “Aw, you look so sleepy,” they giggle. “Hehehe… Sleeprin…”

You snort.
    > “That’s gonna be my next change. My name is now Sleepin.”

“Sleep- rin, not—”

     > “I said what I said.”

They shake their head with a laugh. You smirk.
    > “Can’t stop me now. You snooze, you lose.”

They fall into a fit of giggles, and you can’t help but join them. You glance over towards King as you start to quiet down your laughter, and…he doesn’t move, he doesn’t speak. You’ve felt his eyes on you this whole time, like he wants to say something, like he wants to do something, but…he doesn’t. It’s like…he’s frozen, just…waiting.

You stare at him.

…He…tilts his head.

“Alright, Sleeprin,” Nadine starts, sliding into your view between you and King. “Get ready to hold still, I’m gonna start washing this out soon. Get out whatever little shakes and flaps and jitters you gotta do now while you can.”

…They’re…between you and King.

Your…headache is back.

You

“...Siffrin?”

       feel a

“Siffrin.” You flinch, and they take a step back. You blink a couple times, doing your best to smile as your eyes focus on them. They…slowly smile back. “You, uh, weren’t kidding. You really are Sleepin.”

You nod a little, trying to laugh.
    > “Yeah, that’s…that’s me.”

They look over their shoulder towards King, and…when he doesn’t say anything, they turn back to you with a gentle smile. “Come on. Let’s go wash out the soap. I have a water station in the back that I set up this morning. That way I don’t have to, like…pour a bunch of water all over you or something, eheh. That’d be dumb and not fun.”

…You laugh.
    > “Sounds like a water -ful experience to me.”

They pause, and…groan, but they have a veeeery tiny smile on their face. Nailed it. “That was bad, Siffrin, you can do better than that!” they giggle, shaking their head. “Bad Siffrin. Bad. Do you want to sit there with soap hair for the rest of time?” You cutely bat your eyes, quivering your bottom lip with your best possible puppy-eyes you can pull. “...Okaaaay, fine, I guess I can do my job. Finish the friend favor…get you closer to that ultimate world record goal…” They smile at you again. You like seeing them smile. “Are you ready to sit still for a bit while I wash it out? We’ll just have to move to the other room.”

“Oh, we’re moving?” …Oh, he…finally spoke. “Where are we—”

“Nah, you can wait here, King,” they start with a little grin. “I don’t have any extra chairs back there. You’ll wait out here. It’ll only be a couple minutes.”

“I don’t mind standing.”

“No. You’ll wait out here,” they say again with a bit of a higher, forcibly sweeter tone. “Thank you.” Before he can even have a chance to respond, they turn and hold their hand out to you, and you gently place yours in theirs. They smile again, that same warm, welcoming smile.

…You could look at that smile forever and never get bored of it.

They pull you up to your feet, and

“I’m sorry, bright one.”

                                                        you flinch.

You take in a sudden breath

                                             and

         “Siffrin?

     What’s wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooooonnnnnnnn

                                                     you feel a

◁◁

—“Aw, you look so sleepy,” they giggle. “Hehehe… Sleeprin…”

You snort.
    > “That’s gonna be my next change. My name is now Sleepin.”

“Sleep- rin, not–”

     > “I said what I said.”

They shake their head with a laugh. You smirk.
    > “Can’t stop me now. You snooze, you lose.”

They fall into a fit of giggles, and you can’t help but join them. You glance over towards King as you start to quiet down your laughter, and…he laughs as well. You beam. He’s been quiet for a long while, so you’re happy to hear him enjoying himself!

“Alright, Sleeprin,” the styling one starts, stepping to the side to stretch their arms. “Get ready to hold still, I’m gonna start washing this out soon. Get out whatever little shakes and flaps and jitters you gotta do now while you can.” You tilt your head side to side to stretch as well, taking the opportunity to move around. “I have a water station in the back that I set up this morning. That way I don’t have to, like…pour a bunch of water all over you or something, eheh. That’d be dumb and not fun.”

You start to nod, but…

Ah. Your…headache is back. Again.

You look down, feeling embarrassed. You hope this doesn't sound weird.
    > “Can you…wash it out by hand here? It…felt nice before.”

They stand still at first, seeming to process your request, but then they eventually giggle. “Sure, Siffrin, I can do that. Why, does your head hurt or something? I have some fruit slices in the back if you want something to eat. It might help.”

You wave a hand to dismiss the offer.
    > “I already ate this morning, thank you though.”

WIth a nod, they toss their gloves to the side, and bring over a bucket of water. Washin’ time!

Soon, your hair will be back to darkless perfection!

…And maybe, with him here, watching you fix your mistake, watching you tie the roots you had unknowingly cut back together, watching you make yourself perfect in…the name of your country…

He, and the Universe…might forgive you.

He’s like a king after all. And you don’t want to let the king down.

Chapter Text

They ruffle your hair under the towel, and…let out a small gasp once they pull it away. You let out a confused hum as you tilt your head back to check on them, causing some of your bangs to fall in your face. You look up, and…

…Your hair is…still dark.

Your hair is still lightless.

Your hair is still   stained,

“...Oh.” You try not to shake. You know he’s looking at you. “...Siffrin, I…I’m sorry, I don’t know why it didn’t fully work.” …Fully? Gently, they take your hands, and help you stand up from your seat. “B-but, but! Your roots are already coming back darkless!” They very, very slowly lead you over to a mirror. Oh, you didn’t even…realize there was one in here. “Here, look.”

You turn to look at your reflection, taking a step closer to see yourself better. You tilt your head forward to better see the top of your head, and you take back one of your hands to brush along your hair. It’s still mostly lightless, but…there is a patch of darkless riiiight at the top…

Didn’t King mention something about…the Craft in the dye making this impossible? Or…or something? Thinking about the conversation early is…kind of blurry.

You pull slightly at your roots, almost hoping that you’d spread the natural shade faster.

Your eyes move to look at your friend in the mirror as they reach around for your hand, gently taking it again and stopping you from pulling. It wasn’t going to work anyways. They seem to read your mind, already talking and answering your question. “I think I…messed it up somehow. I don’t know if it was the dye or…the soap I used to wash it out, but something went wrong when I used Craft. I…I’m really sorry.”

You shake your head. It’s not their fault. It’s not.
    > “It’s okay. You—”

“No, the Craft worked just as it should,” he interrupts, standing up from his seat. You watch him step closer in the mirror’s reflection, his hand hovering behind your head. You…nod, and he very gently brushes his hand through your hair. You shiver. Cold… “As long as the one who uses it still wants the shade, the hair dye can withstand any washing or unpredicted rainstorm.” He turns to look at Nadine, letting out a quiet chuckle. “Have you forgotten your own Craft? You must be tired from working all day.”

They look between you and King, their expression suddenly…nervous. “O-oh, right, we…just talked about that earlier, didn’t we.” He nods, and they let out a sigh. “Siffrin, if you…didn’t want to change your hair again, then why did…”

You sputter, shaking your head.
    > “N-no, I—”

“This is exactly what we wanted,” he interrupts again, placing his other hand on your shoulder. “Exactly what he wanted. His roots…are still intact. His roots are still perfect.” He leans down slightly, his hair falling over your shoulders. The mix of your shorter lightless hair with his long, long, long darkless hair surrounding you…it’s like an eclipse. How…cold. “Out of all things, I think restoring their roots to their natural state…is quite fitting. Wouldn’t you agree, bright one?”

…He…has a point.

You like the lightless dye, you really, really do, but…

If you don’t show your origins, your ties to your country…who really are you?

But when you open your mouth to answer, to agree, to say anything… nothing comes out.

All you can do is breathe. In, and out.

Nadine mumbles your name, a hint of concern behind their tone, but he continues instead. “Thank you, Nadine. We really appreciate the work you put in,” he starts, standing back up straight. You shiver as his long hair slides off of you. “With this, he can be one step closer…to that world record title. Their hair will change every day until it’s all darkless once again. No need to overwork with finding something new to change again and again.”

“...I-...I guess so, yeah.” Your stare is still locked with your reflection, but you can see them looking at you. “Is he…right, Siffrin? Is this what you wanted?”

. . .
        (Shake your head.)
    > (...Nod.)

This isn’t exactly what you wanted, but…after he made some points…

He’s…not wrong.
    > “...Yes. This is…exactly what I wanted.”

You can see Nadine’s smile in the corner of your vision, even if it looks a little…off. “O-okay, okay. If…if you’re sure, Siffrin. I just want you to be happy, that’s all.”

“As do I,” the King joins in, and you see his smile in the reflection behind you. “Now then… It’s been a long day. Isn’t that right, bright one?” You slowly nod. He hums. “Let us be off then.” He steps back. You…follow. “Thank you again, Nadine, we’ll be sure to happily return the favor whenever that day reaches us.”

They don’t get a chance to respond before you’re led outside, and before you know it, you’re…already on the dirt path, heading towards the ocean. Heading towards…home.

You’re quiet for most of the walk. Again. Your stare never leaves the ground as you hold his hand, letting him guide you.

…You feel like he’s angry. You don’t know why.
    > “...I-...I’m sorry…”

“For what, bright one?”

     > “...I didn’t fix it… I-I said I would fix it, and—”

“Relax. Your hand is shaking.”

Your grip instinctively tightens at first, but…you slowly relax. Breathe.
    > “S-sorry, sorry…I’m sorry.”

Finally, you look up at him as he continues to stare forward.
    > “Are… Are you mad?”

. . .

He doesn't speak.

You try to focus on your breathing.
    > “I-I’m sorry, I tried to fix it, I promise I’m not trying to waste your time o-or- or toss our country aside or anything like that, I swear, King…!”

. . .

He doesn’t speak.

You can tell you're shaking again. But he doesn’t mention it this time.
    > “I was just trying to- to blend in, like you said I should…! I didn’t know Change was a bad thing, I just th-thought I was…following what you said…!”

. . .

He doesn’t speak.

Stars…

     > “...I-I-... I…I’m sorry, dad…”

. . .

He…still doesn’t speak.

…So you don’t either.

The rest of your walk is completely silent.

You just head right to bed when you get home.

…Well, sort of. You’re awake. You’re stuck in an endless staring contest with yourself in your mirror.

You’ve grown enough to where you couldn’t see your face in it with it sitting on the floor anymore, so you had moved it to be on top of your dresser. Your dresser that, recently, you had moved to be across the room near the foot of your bed. It made more room for you to set up a small station for when you whittle.

But now you’re here, laying in bed, your arms wrapped around your bundled up starry blanket…staring at your own face at the other end of the room. You haven’t been able to move…or look away…for a long time now.

You regret moving it.

You tilt your head down slightly to look at your roots. You can barely see them from here, but the clashing difference in shades is just enough to make it obvious. You reach up with one hand, placing your fingertips just at the ends of your darkless roots.

And you…pull. You pull, and pull, and pull, never looking away from your reflection, as if you were waiting for it to jump out and stop you.

But it doesn’t. So you pull some more. You grip your hair. You pull some more. You drop the rolled-up blanket and bring your other hand up. You pull some more. You pull. You pull. You pull-

You wince, and…let some of your pulled out hair fall from your hand. Ah. Ow.

…The sudden sting on your head was enough to bring back your focus.

You breathe in, and out…slowly…

. . .

For just a moment, you thought about the styling one as you control your breathing.

You…don’t know why.

Your head hurts.

. . .

You toss your cloak over towards the dresser, watching it land right over the mirror. Can’t see yourself now…that’s good. You don’t have to feel that overwhelming sense of guilt every time you catch sight of your hair.

But as you start to lay down for real this time, there’s a very quiet, very gentle knock on your door. You hum in affirmation, and he quietly enters, looking around your room for a moment before stepping closer to you.

You don’t look at him. “...You still have that,” he tries to chuckle, pointing towards your blanket. “I thought you were too cool for little kid stuff.” …You don’t respond. “And here I thought the poor thing was going to be locked away in your closet forever, never to see the light of day again.” …You don’t respond. He takes a step back. “...Bright one, I know you’re about to sleep, but…will you come with me for something? It will only be for a few minutes, and then you can rest.”

…You…nod, and take his hand as he offers it.

He brings you outside, and…woah, when did it get dark? You swear the sun wasn’t even setting yet when you arrived home. Were you really out of it for that long?

Carefully, he…starts to step up some storage crates, which were all conveniently stacked like a staircase next to the house. “...Well, come on now,” he starts, looking back at you. You blink. “Climb up.”

…What.
    > “What.”

He lets out a soft laugh. “Climb the roof with me, Siffrin. I want to show you something.” He laughs again as you sputter, but before you can question him, he continues his own climb.

He’s…fine with this? He’s telling you to climb the roof?? After all those times he’s gotten on your case about it, he’s fine with it suddenly???

What did the Universe put in the water today…
    > (Climb up.)

Ignoring the stack of crates, you jump up and just barely reach the end of the roof, pulling yourself up and climbing after him. By the time you reach him, he’s laying on his back, similarly to how you would rest up here whenever he wasn’t home. He turns his head towards you, so you…join him, laying down next to him and…relaxing. “Look above you, bright one.”

…You…look up, and your vision is instantly filled with stars, stars, stars…

Your stare trails along a few that seem to be connected to each other. Those have a name, they’re called…

“Do you remember any constellations, Siffrin?”

Ah, constellations, that’s the word! …But you shake your head.

“...Neither do I. I hope one day we’ll recall at least one or two.”

. . .

You’re both quiet for a while.

Eventually, he speaks again. “...I am not angry with you. I apologize for my silence earlier.” You turn to look at him as he continues. “A part of me is…afraid. I’m afraid that, the more you learn about Vaugarde, the more you learn about Change…you’ll stray further and further from remembering our real home.”

…Oh.

“I’ve learned all I can about Vaugarde, hoping for my knowledge to be enough to keep you safe…but every day that goes by, I forget more and more about our roots.” His voice sounds…shaky, like he’s about to cry. “Haven’t you noticed I’ve been speaking in our language less and less?”

…Oh Stars. You didn’t even realize that, you’re so used to speaking Vaugardian all the time, you didn’t notice the difference. Now that he mentioned it, he…hasn’t dropped it since you left the theater earlier. “I’m forgetting more and more of it every day, bright one. I’m forgetting our language. I’m forgetting our language.”

You watch him turn, his hair falling to the side slightly. He’s…crying. You can feel yourself doing the same as you stare at him. “If I forget everything, and you fall so far into their customs and beliefs that you never get the opportunity to remember in the first place…th-then…then what hope will we have of returning home?”

…It’s cold out here.

With shaking hands, you attempt to snake them through his hair, and you gently hold his face.
    > “Please don’t cry, dad…”

His tears are so cold against your skin, but you don’t take your hands away, using your thumbs to wipe them away. “Bright one… I… I do not want you to be locked away from the world. I never wanted that. All I ever wanted…all I ever wished for was…was for us to return home together. That’s why staying as close to our roots as possible is so, so important.” His head turns to look back up towards the night sky. You…slowly take your hands back, wiping at your own face instead. “The Stars…the Universe…they’re counting on you to bring light to our country, and maybe…maybe someone else can remember, if not us. They’re all counting on you.” He turns to you again. For just a split second, you saw his eyes, and…you saw a strange shade you’ve never seen before. “I’m counting on you, Siffrin. Please…you’re all I have left of our home. You’re young, you’re smart…you still have a chance that I don’t. You can still bring us home one day. That’s all I wished for…”

. . .

You…nod, wiping your cheeks again.
    > “...And… A-and if…I fail? What happens?”

“...Then we protect Vaugarde,” he states, and you follow his stare to look back up at the stars. “If we cannot remember our home…then we protect Vaugarde from facing the same fate.”

Despite him not looking at you, you nod again.

In a perfect world, you’d do both. You’d protect Vaugarde from being forgotten too, while bringing all those who lost their way home back to your country, but…if you end up forgetting at the same rate as him, you’ll fail the latter, and may have to stick with the former.

…How would you do that anyway? You don’t know what caused your country to vanish from people’s minds in the first place, so…how would you keep Vaugarde safe?

You hear him take a deep breath, and you follow, both of you letting out your sighs at the same time. No more tears…you’re okay.

You stare up at the stars in silence. Each and every one of those are watching over you, cheering you on…counting on you…

You hear him breathe slowly, and realize…he fell asleep. You manage to keep yourself from laughing. Out of all places to fall asleep…

Eh, you’re one to talk. You can barely keep your eyes open.

You silently ask the Universe to guide you. You’re not sure where to go from here, so…any sign would be nice. Any sign would be a miracle. Any sign of home…to make his wish come true.

You’ll return home together…just like he wants.

Just like…you were always meant to do.

With a silent thanks, you close your eyes and…breathe out… and…

    you start… to drift off…

Chapter Text

you hear a voice.

it whispers something.

it’s a question.

Do you remember?

you stare up

                                      to answer.

you breathe in,

a hand reaches down from the void of the sky,

and you   reach up

       with both hands

   as if you were about to embrace   an old friend.

                          and you finally
                                            finally
                                                finally
                                                  finally
                                                      finally
                                                    speak.

    Am I allowed to?

       there’s                           silence.

the hand

t witches

   and   turns

 it points with one finger

         and places it

                                in your two hands.

it’s

cold.

                      …I…
                I am not the one to answer that, little prince.

it raises its finger

      leaving behind a small   writhing   burning   star in your hands.

you’re not sure why but   you want to cry.

it’s supposed to be burning,

  but you feel so  cold
like you’re being               frozen

you raise up the star towards you
                                  and,

–!!!

You wake up.

Unlike previous times with that same dream, you…didn’t startle awake this time. You feel…calm, rested, refreshed. Maybe a little chilly, but you’re not struggling to breathe or ending up in a minutes-long coughing fit like you normally would be. You feel…fine.

You feel fine. A little…confused, sure, but fine! Maybe that means it’s finally the end of those weird nightmares? You hope so. You were getting sick of being squished all the time…

You wonder if that was the Universe. Its voice was made up of millions, you can’t picture anyone’s face. But then, if there were no consistencies, doesn’t that mean it could’ve been the Change God? Why would a god that’s not yours speak to you? Or…why would a god that’s not yours give you something so close to home? Why would it give you a Star?

…And why did it call you…

You realize you’re still laying down. It’s not very comfortable now that you’re awake and aware. With a quiet groan, you slowly sit up from the table, brushing your thumb along the page of the book you fell asleep on. No drool! Not gross! That’s good!

You stretch your back, pop your elbows, roll your wrists…and stand up, gathering the pile of books you had already read through. Looking back, it was probably a little silly to try and ask the librarian if there were any books on a forgotten country, considering you got an appropriate ‘I don’t remember’ for an answer, but it was worth a shot to check here.

Despite your exhaustion, you had managed to read through a few diaries, which you thought was…weird. Really weird. Why they’re here for all the world to see, you have no idea. It’s weird. Vaugarde is weird. But over the last couple months, you’ve been doing everything possible to try and find anything that could tie into your lost home, and reading diaries felt like a last-ditch effort. He’s losing hope, after all, you need to try whatever is necessary.

…But you still found nothing. So now you just feel weird for reading a bunch of private stuff.

Carrying the large stack of books, you fail to realize just how much of a blind spot you have, and you bump into the corner of another table. You make…an embarrassing sound, but you just barely manage to save the stack of books from falling as you catch yourself on a bookshelf–save for one poor book that fell off the very top…how can you ever forgive yourself…

One by one, you put the books back in their proper spots, dismissing the other attendants and librarians that passed by offering to help. You know they’re supposed to take care of it, but you got this! It’s not a big deal! Three, two…wuh-oh, where’d that one go that fell?

You spin in place for a second and–oh, there it is. You pick up the now open diary, and…stop, your gaze skimming through the presented entry. Wait…

You rub your eyes, and focus on reading.

my best friend moved away last week. it’s only been a week but…I can’t remember his name. we’ve known each other for years, but every time I try to think about him, there’s nothing. every time I look at the note he gave me in class the day before he left, I get this awful headache.

his note said he was moving to…????? somewhere. I can’t read the name of it anymore without feeling like I’m gonna pass out. but he said it’s an island north of vaugarde. I don’t even remember there being an island there, but I checked in my class textbooks and…it’s there. it’s on the map. but I still can’t read the name. I don’t know what to do. I miss him so much and yet I don’t even know who or what I’m missing. I wonder if any of my classmates remember him, or the name of the island he moved to.

I don’t believe any of that favor tree garbage, but…I wish he never moved away.

…An island…North of Vaugarde?

You let out a sudden groan, nearly dropping the diary as you hold your head. Ow ow ow ow, that’s sharp…

…This…this has to be it, right? This is it. This is your sign. After years of looking, you finally have something! You finally have something!! The Universe finally gave you a sign to help guide you!! It only took them way too blinding long!!! But it’s here!!!

You almost forget to put the diary back as you run, skidding to a stop and placing it on a random shelf–sorry librarians!!–before you’re immediately off again towards that usual dirt path.

You don’t return home this time, however, no…you head towards the beach.

The sun is already setting, and you can see the Stars peeking through the clouds ever so slightly. If you get ready now, you’ll know where to go. You don’t know how you know that, but…you just know. You have to try. You have to. He’s counting on you.

Rushing to the far end of the beach, you pull on a rope tied to a large post, and start to drag your boat through the sand towards the water. Walking through sand with heeled boots really sucks but you manage to make it work.

You feel a chill against your ankles, and you hop into the small boat before your cloak can touch the water. By some miracle, the oar is still in here, having been tucked away under the seat to keep it from flying out in heavy storms.

You haven’t been in this boat for many, many years, not since you…

You breathe in, and out…and push yourself off the sand, floating off into the water.

And before you know it…the sun is gone, and the Stars come out to greet you.

You look up, almost feeling…lightheaded, but you push through, turning your boat towards the brightest Star you can see. North… North… You’re heading North. You just have to follow the North Star. She has a name, doesn't She? You hope you’ll remember it to thank Her when you find your home.

You turn to look behind you as you paddle and paddle, and…oh, you’re really far out here, aren’t you? You can’t see the beach anymore. You can’t even see…any land anymore. It can’t be that far away, right? There’s…no way.

You turn in all directions. Nothing. There’s nothing.

Just…water. You’re alone, with no signs of how far you’ve gone.

Your breathing starts to pick up. This is suddenly too familiar for your liking. But you have to keep pushing. You have to keep moving. You have to. You can’t be scared. He’s counting on you. You just have to keep pushing. Keep pushing.

You look back up at the Stars, and– Huh? Where did She go? You turn your head rapidly, trying to ignore how dizzy, dizzy, dizzy you’re getting, how nauseous you’re feeling, how exhausted you’re getting…and you spot Her. North. North. North. You need to turn North.

You quickly change directions to follow the bright Star, but then you blink, and…She’s gone again– She’s gone again. She’s gone again and you don’t know where you are you don’t know what time it is you don’t know how much longer you have out here you’re lost you’re lost youre lost youre never going to survive out here alone with no food with no clean water with no

land. LAND!! You can see land!! You can see a

You wake up.

You sit up so fast you nearly fall out of the boat from rocking it. You look around furiously, and–...

…You…see your house.

No no no no you’re back here?? How are you back here???

You have to try again. It’s still dark, the Stars are still out, watching, waiting. You grab the oar, and push yourself back out into the water, paddling even faster than before.

The North Star. The North Star. The North Star. She’s out. She’s bright, She’s big, She’s beautiful…you follow Her.

There’s an island North of Vaugarde. There’s an island   North   of Vaugarde. And you’re going to find it. You’re going to find your home. Just like you wished for. Just like you both wished for…you’ll find your home together. You’ll just be the one to lead him here, just as he led you for all these years, just like the…

You feel silly, clinging onto something as nonsensical as a wish, but it gave you hope when you were starting to lose it too. You want to bring that hope to him too, and this is how you’ll do it. You just have to find it. You just have to find the island. The island North of Vaugarde. It’s real. You know it’s real.

So you paddle, and paddle, and paddle, and–...She’s gone again. Clouds are rolling in, covering your map. No no no no no please no, you’re so close…!!

The wind is picking up. The waves are getting bigger. You can barely stay balanced in your boat. You feel your eyes start to burn with tears as your head pulses in pain, but you push forward. You have to. You have to.

You can barely breathe. You don’t know which way to go. You pray for safety, pray for the Universe to help you, to save you, to bring you home, to bring you to–

Land. You see land again! You squeeze your eyes shut and start to paddle, hoping your fast movements will be enough to keep you going in the same direction. You’re almost there. You’re almost there. Your ears are ringing so, so loudly, you feel like they’re bleeding. You’re almost there. Your head feels like it’s splitting in two. You’re almost there. Your empty stomach is caving in on itself, and yet you feel like you’re going to throw up. You’re almost there. You’re almos

You wake up.

Slower this time, you sit up, and…you’re laying on a beach, your boat flipped upside down nearby, and…the oar is broken in half. You turn, and–...

…You…see your house…again.

You press your palms against your eyes…and scream. Why are you back here again?! Why isn’t the Universe helping you??? Why are you still not home?!?!

You hear that familiar creak of your front porch in the distance, but you don’t care. You push yourself up to your feet, and move to flip over your boat. “Bright one? Siffrin!” You don’t listen. You flip the boat, and start pushing, grabbing the lower half of the broken oar. You have to try again. You have to. “Siffrin! Stop, now!!” you have to push forward. you have to try again you have to try again you

“SIFFRIN.”

you flinch as you feel a freezing cold hand on your shoulder, and you whip around so fast you almost hit him with the oar. before you can even breathe, he…wraps his arms around you, holding you so, so tightly, like he was afraid you’d disappear the moment he’d let go.

the warmer temperature of your tears rolling down your cheeks are enough to keep you grounded, though just barely, his touch finishing the job in keeping you locked in reality. you…slowly drop the oar, and…you cling to him, burying your face in his chest, and you scream again, the sound barely muffled in his hair. your ears are ringing so much, your head hurts, you’re so, so hungry, you don’t know how you’re standing, how you’re even awake, how you’re…

he lets out a shaky exhale, and he carefully picks you up, just as easily as he could when you were little. you curl up, sink into your soaked, sand-covered cloak, and sob. you’re failing him. you’re failing him, you’re failing the universe, you’re failing failing failing failing,

he doesn’t speak as he pulls your boat back to the post, wrapping it up carefully with one hand while he holds you in his other arm. he doesn’t speak as he tucks the broken pieces of the oar under the seat. he doesn’t speak as he carries you back to the house, or when he walks down the hall, or when he sets you down in your bed, covering you in your favorite, soft, starry blanket.

you can’t stop crying, yet he stays, taking your hands as you try to pull at your hair.

it’s silent, and yet everything is so loud. you feel like you’re falling apart. you feel like you’re dying. you don’t know what to do. you don’t know what to say.

he brings his arm around you oh so gently, like he were touching something so fragile and delicate, and brings you closer to him as he sits at the side of your bed. you try to settle your cries. you try. you try.

“...Breathe, bright one. That’s all I need you to do right now. You’re okay…”

his voice is so quiet, so comforting…

you sob again.
    > “I-I need to—”

“Breathe.”

     > “no no no no NO! NO!! I need to GO I need to—”

he does his best to shush you, bringing one hand up to your hair as he brushes his fingers through it. he’s cold. it’s comforting. it’s grounding. you…slowly start to control your breathing. you breathe…you breathe. you breathe.

“...Please, Siffrin, don’t ever do that again. Please. At least not alone. At least not without telling me. The ocean is not a forgiving place…you remember that, don’t you?” you barely manage to nod. he sighs quietly. “You don’t need to risk killing yourself for this, Siffrin. If you think you found something, if you think you saw a sign…talk to me first. Please. Do you understand?” you…nod slowly again. you breathe. You breathe. “Good. Now…you rest. It is nearly morning now, you were out all night.” …Oh. You sink into your blanket slightly. “Do not get up. I will prepare you some food, but then you will catch up on sleep. We will focus on what you found- on what you saw when you’re well enough to stand up without collapsing.”

You nod one last time, and…he slowly lets go of you, and you lay back down as he leaves your room to make some food. Your head still hurts. Your ears are still ringing, but not as badly. Your stomach is begging for anything to fill it. It’s…nice to know he’s at least going to help you take care of one of those problems.

You look down at your hands, seeing them covered in forming calluses from how much you were pushing with the oar. You look down at your arms, seeing your skin marked with weird patterns from laying in the sand for who knows how long. You look down at your blanket, brushing your thumbs along the little darkless dots all over it.

…No wonder you knew the map of the Stars so well out there.

It’s been here the whole time.

Chapter Text

“...So…it’s an island North of here.”

You slowly nod, holding your warm mug with both hands. He reaches behind you to adjust your blanket, making sure you’re comfortable in your seat as you sip at your drink. “And…instead of telling me, you decided to try and find it yourself first, so that you could…surprise me?”

…You…nod. Let’s go with that.
    > “...Ta-daaa…?”

He laughs under his breath, shaking his head as you smile in rising embarrassment. “Well, as much as I appreciate it…never do that again.”

You try to laugh. It…kinda hurts, but you get a small chuckle out.
    > “You already said that, dad…”

“And I’ll say it again and again,” he says as he joins your laughter. “I’ll say it until you stop looking outside at your boat. Don’t think I don’t see you doing that, bright one.” You stick out your tongue. “I do wonder, though… How far did you manage to go?”

You take a longer sip of your drink, and then hold the mug closer. Warm…

You take a deep breath…
    > “...I saw it.”

He…goes quiet, looking at you. You can feel his stare locked on you, even if you can’t see his face.

You swallow.
    > “I-I…I can’t remember anything about it, though. I just know…it’s there.”

“...You just know…it’s real.” You nod, and he hums, crossing his arms over his chest. “Where did you learn to look?”

     > “A diary in the library.”

“In the…library? As in…a published book, that anyone in the world can read, and it’s just…someone’s diary?” You nod. “What in the-... Vaugarde is so strange sometimes.” You snort with another nod, taking one more big sip of your drink. Vaugarde is so weird. “Well, odd traditions aside, that means…there’s hope. There really is hope.” You watch him sit up a bit taller as he speaks, and you can’t help but smile. “We just have to…think of the best way to get there.”

That’s when your smile falls, and you sink into your blanket, looking down.
You carefully set your empty mug down.
    > “...I don’t know if it’s possible.”

“It must be.”

     > “But I tried. Twice. And I…woke up here. I don’t think the Universe wants us there.”

He’s quick to shake his head. “That’s absurd. The Universe leads, and–...” He…trails off into silence.

And…you nod.
    > “...we can only follow. And every time I follow…I end up back here.”

“But that…doesn’t make any sense. The Universe wouldn’t…prevent us from doing such a thing. It can’t deny us our home.”

     > “Maybe It’s protecting us from something?”

“No, It’s not. There must be something missing.” You watch him stand up and start to pace back and forth, his long hair dragging behind him. “Maybe there’s a specific way we need to approach the island.”

     > “Dad…”

“Or- or do we need to fly? And come down from the sky? We’d need a lot of energy and skills with Craft for that, maybe we can recruit some Housemaidens from Dormont’s House.”

     > “Dad.”

“Maybe we just can’t go at night? But…oh, trying to go North without the help of the Stars would prove to be quite difficult—”

     > “Dad.”

Finally, he stops and looks at you.

You let out a huff.
    > “You’re thinking too much about this. You and I both wished to find our homes, and the Universe is preventing that. That must mean something is wrong, and It’s trying to keep us safe.”

You don’t like that answer either, but you can’t think of it any other way.
    > “I know it’s been years, but…maybe we need to wait a little longer.”

“We don’t have ANY MORE TIME to wait, SIFFRIN.” You flinch from the louder voice and cover your ears, and…he lets out a long, slow exhale, taking a step back from you. “...My… My apologies.” He waits, and you lower your slightly shaking hands. “...I’m just…afraid. You know I’m afraid. I can’t remember our language anymore, Siffrin. And if we don’t find a way to get there soon, then…then you’ll forget too. You’ll forget everything you just tried to accomplish over the last day. It’s inevitable. Or… Or…”

You feel…heavy.
    > “...Or…Vaugarde might face the same fate.”

“Exactly, bright one. It’s not just the history of our country that’s at stake.”

You pull at your blanket slightly.

What…can you do? Is there anything you can do? If only you had more time. If you had more time, you could figure out why this happened to your country in the first place. If you had more time, you could find everyone that settled in Vaugarde after you couldn’t return home. If you had more time, you could make sure Vaugarde is protected from whatever or whoever did this to the island.

If you had more time, you could…make sure everything is perfect for everyone…

If only…
    > “We just need…more time.”

…He’s quiet. But then he…turns to you again. “...Time…”

You blink.
    > “What about itttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

◁◁

—If only…
    > “We just need…more time.”

◁◁

     > “We just need…more time.”

◁◁

     > “We just need—”

“More time.”

You look up as he speaks, and– ow ow ow… oh Stars, your headache is back and it’s so much worse… You can’t help but groan as you hold your head, curling forward slightly in your seat.

“That’s it, bright one! If we have more time, we can do whatever is necessary to reach our goals without having to worry.” Yeah, you…you could’ve told him that. Thanks King of obviousness. “I think…I think I know what I can do to help keep Vaugarde safe.”

You slowly look up again, drawing circles into your temples with your thumbs.
    > “H-huh? How are you—”

“We give ourselves more time…by stopping time.” You can see him smile just behind his hair. “Until we can figure out how our country was lost from our minds, we have no idea how to protect the rest of the world from meeting the same terrible fate. So…what if we stop it all, give ourselves as much time as possible to figure it out, and once we do…”

…He tilts his head, as if he’s waiting for you to finish his thought.

But you…can’t. You don’t know what to say. He wants to…stop time? How would he…

He lets out a soft breath. “Once we figure it out, we find a way to prevent it from happening again, and…we can return home, and know that the rest of the world can stay safe in their homes without fear of…of going through what we had to go through. Maybe that’s what the Universe wants. It wants to make sure this never happens to anyone ever again.”

. . .

You…stay silent, struggling to comprehend everything he’s telling you.

He…starts to laugh, looking towards the window. “It’s the perfect plan, bright one… I just need…more power.”

You swallow again, curling up slightly in your seat.
    > “...Um…dad? How…how exactly would you do that in the first place?”

He looks at you. You try to smile.
    > “I-I mean- we’re talking about controlling time here, not like- like a long walk on the beach or s-something, right? That can’t be possible.”

“Oh, but that’s where you’re wrong, bright one,” he chuckles, standing up straight and looking…even taller. “It’s possible…with Time Craft.”

You blink, your mouth suddenly very dry.
    > “Time…Craft?”

The term doesn’t sound familiar right away, but the more you think about it…yes, there have been a couple books that mentioned Time Craft, but they also talked about how it would be impossible for someone to survive using it. Even if it were to manipulate a single second, the user of the Craft…would immediately perish.

So…what makes him so confident?
    > “B-but that’s—”

“Impossible? Deadly? No…not for me, it isn’t.” His smile grows behind his hair. “The Universe granted me this power…in order to make my wish come true. I’ve already tested it a handful of times…just to see if it really works.”

He…has?

…He’d really risk it all just for a simple test.

You try not to wonder how young you were for his first try.

“I have the power to protect Vaugarde, bright one, and you…” He steps closer and hovers his hands in front of you. You…slowly lean forward, and he very, very gently holds your cheeks as you look up at him. Still cold as always. “You, Siffrin…you have the wisdom and strength to help me protect it.” He tilts his head. “I admit that…even with more power, it would not be enough for me to freeze an entire country at once. I would need your help to tell those in Vaugarde…that we’re helping them. We’re protecting them, making sure that…their welcoming, unconditionally loving community…never has to face what we went through. No one else…will suffer like we did. No one.”

. . .

…Your…head hurts…

“You’ll help me, won’t you?” he asks quietly, leaning down to rest your foreheads together. Cold, but…it’s nice. “Please, bright one, we can make this work if we work together. After everything we’ve been through, after all these years…aren’t you ready to find your home? That’s what you wished for, right?” You…slowly nod, barely able to move from his hands on your cheeks. “Then we can find our homes together, bright one…if you’ll just help me. Help me protect this wonderful place until we know how to stop it from happening all over again.”

…You nod.

After all, you…owe him, don’t you?
    > “...I will. I’ll help.”

He leans back just enough for his hair to fall over the sides of your head, and…you see his face. You see his eyes, that weird shade you’ve never seen before in his eyes, just like you saw all those months ago. Your mouth opens slightly in awe.

You can’t look away from him. “No matter what it takes?”

. . .

You breathe in, and out…
        (Stay silent.)
     > “...No matter what it takes.”

…Slowly, so agonizingly slowly, he…smiles, tears streaming down his cheeks one by one. “Ohh… Oh, bright one, thank you…!” he barely gets out, his voice quiet but…so happy, so relieved. “I promise, no matter what happens…this will be worth it.” His hair falls back over his face as he stands back up, slowly letting his hands fall from your cheeks. “I cannot wait for the day where you find your real home, and I- and the Universe, of course- get to see you be truly happy…”

You can only nod.

You reach up and brush some of your lightless hair out of your face.

…Truly happy, huh…

It sounds tough, but…it sounds worth it in the end. Everything…would work out for everyone. Everyone would be happy. No one would have to fear becoming lost and alone, wandering on their own for any source of direction on who they are, or who they should be…

It sounds like paradise.

It sounds like…exactly the kind of thing the Universe would want.

And who are you to say no to the Universe?

With a quiet instruction to meet him outside when you’re dressed and ready, you nod and finish up your breakfast, heading back to your room.

You retrieve your cloak off of the mirror, digging around in your dresser for…ah, there they are.

You grab the needle and thread and sit on your bed, tucking your cloak inside out and grabbing…your star chart blanket.

Carefully, making sure not to prick yourself with the needle, you start to sew the blanket to the inside of your cloak. The thread you bought was Crafted to blend in with any material it slides through, making the stitching completely invisible from the outside. Nadine always had the best sources when it came to Craft, and…you’ve learned a bit from them too.

You’re…Piercing Craft, from what they’ve said, the apparent hand signs you’d toss up when you flinch making it more than obvious to them. You had never noticed, but…with that in mind, it’s not surprising how quickly you were able to pick up sewing.

You draw your dagger, and use it to cut the thread once you’re finished. Tucking it back to show off the darkless material for all the world to see, you slip it on and fix the pins, standing back up with a small exhale.

…Feels right. Feels…safe, comforting…

You turn to look at your reflection in the mirror, raising your arms and turning side to side, catching glimpses of the star chart hiding underneath your cloak.

Yup, it’s you.

You smile a little, grabbing your hat, and winking at your reflection. Lookin’ good, little prince.

As you head for the hall, you…stop, and take a second to look around your room. You have a feeling you won’t ever be back here again, so…you might as well make sure you won’t be leaving anything behind.

You grab the thread and needle–for emergencies–and tuck them in your pockets. You grab your small bag of change and tuck it in your pocket. You…pick up the little figurine of the Change God, and set it on your pillow.

That’s when you look over towards your carving station. You look at all the little objects on your desk, leaning down to check their details once again. There’s a tiny King, your boat, a mini version of the house…and…a long, skinny tube aimed up towards the sky. You remember struggling with that one for some reason, but as you look at it, you…can’t remember what it’s called.

…Not worth taking with you.

Despite being alone, you wave goodbye to your room, sheath your dagger under your cloak…and exit the house.

Get ready for anything, Siffrin.

You have a country to save.

Chapter Text

“Alright, be prepared to throw. In three, two…”

When he says ‘one,’ you toss the bowl full of water into the air.

He quickly brings up his fingers and snaps, and…the bowl hovers in the air, the sloshing angle of the water spilling everywhere suddenly still along with it.

The bowl and the water…are frozen in time, their shades drained and now appearing almost completely lightless.

The bowl will never fall, and the water will never spill.

You stare with wide eyes as he starts to laugh, shouting in victory over his success. You very, very slowly bring up your hand towards the frozen water, but immediately take it back and bring it towards your chest. Your finger barely brushed the surface of it, but…even with gloves on, it felt so, so, so cold, like you’d get frostbite if you had let it linger there for even a second longer.

You wrap your other hand around your pointer finger, squeezing it in your palm to try and warm it up.

“Be careful, bright one,” he starts, finally noticing how you’re shivering. “It is in a frozen state. I cannot imagine it being exactly…warm.”

You stick out your tongue and blow a raspberry, shaking your hand around.
     > “I didn’t think you meant frozen in a literal sense.”

He chuckles under his breath. “Well…you’re right. I didn’t. But I suppose any sort of powerful Craft like this would have its…side effects.” His head turns down the dirt path, and you follow his stare, looking towards town…and you swallow. “This is it, bright one… This will determine our plan.” You keep staring at the town, but you can tell he turned to look at you instead. You don’t face him. “Are you ready?”

…Are you?
        “Won’t they get scared?”
        “Won’t they get angry?”
        “Won’t they fight back?”
    > (...Stay silent, and nod.)

You hear him laugh, and you turn to face him. His hair is out of the way just enough for you to see his smile. “Then step back…”

You do as you're told, and step off of the dirt path, waiting by the front porch.

He brings his hands together and…whispers a prayer. You can’t understand it from where you’re standing, but you know he’s asking something from the Universe. He’s never that quiet. Slowly, he raises his joined hands and slowly opens them apart, almost like a blooming flower, then holds them out flat. He’s staring at the end of the path in the distance, and you can only assume from the angle he’s looking…it’s almost like he’s holding the town, and all of its people, in the palms of his hands.

…He’s holding his kingdom, wanting to protect it. Just as a monarch would.

As he stands still, you watch a trail of pure darkness slither down the dirt path, ever so slightly- and ever so slowly- stretching at all sides like vines. The original stem of energy moves so fast down the path that it’s out of your sight before you can even blink. You turn to look at him again, waiting for whatever would happen next with bated breath.

Slowly, he exhales, and…suddenly closes his fists.

You feel a chill blow over you, and you turn back to the town.

…The…lightless town, now looking eerily similar to that dropped bowl of water.

It’s completely frozen in time.

He…laughs, and you stare at him again from your spot near the porch. He laughs some more, and more, and you watch his hair move slightly with the cold breeze, revealing his face…his sad, tear-stained face.

…Oh.
    > “Dad…? Are you—”

“Okay…?” he finishes for you, turning to look at you. He’s…smiling, despite the tears streaming down his cheeks. You feel so heavy, so cold, just looking at him…it makes you want to cry too. “I’m more than okay, bright one… This- this power, it…it’s the power of hope. It’s hope, Siffrin, that’s what this all is. It’s hope for us, for our country, for Vaugarde…for anyone out there that feels lost and scared, completely unaware of what lies out in the North… It’s hope that…everything is going to turn out okay. Everything…is going to turn out perfect.” His smile grows, even as his eyes swell with more tears.

You can feel yours doing the same.

“Aren’t you excited, bright one? Aren’t you just as happy…as I am?”

. . .

Your mouth feels so dry.

Your throat hurts.

You look…at his hands.

They’re still closed into fists, hovering just in front of his chest. You look at the dirt path, now completely devoid of its shades, and watch the darkness of his Craft spread into the grass and fields around you. Every blade of grass it touches…freezes in place in an instant, even as the breeze moves your hair and cloak with ease. You turn around and look towards the ocean, seeing that the Craft stopped right at the beach - right at the sand, right at the border of Vaugarde. You watch the water move in the breeze as the long grass at the edge of the sand stops dancing with the waves.

And finally…you look back at his hands again.

…Protecting Craft…

You recognize it from your studies with Nadine. They’re also Protector Craft, from what they’ve told you…and from what you’ve observed every time something falls in their shop and they turn around with their fists raised, ‘ready to fight some ghosts’ as they’ve said.

This time spell he’s spreading…it’s Protecting Craft. It’s like a blanket, in a strange sort of way. It’s…protecting Vaugarde. It’s keeping this wonderful place safe, and all who live here. It’s protecting the land…and the people…that he loves most.

…He really is like a king.

You slowly reach up, and wipe the tears from your face.
    > “...Of course I’m happy.”

“As you should be,” he laughs quietly. Before you can speak again, he lowers one of his hands and offers it to you. As he moves, you blink, noticing the lightless Craft around you slow its spread…but you only take that as a mental note for now. You carefully set your hand in his, and he leads you down the path, the heels of your boots clicking on the frozen ground with every step.

The walk is even more agonizingly long this time around.

As you approach the frozen town, you grip at the inside of your cloak with your free hand, brushing your thumb against the blanket sewn to it on the inside. Stars, you’re dizzy…

Your stare moves along what’s supposed to be the start of the stone ground, something that was always your indicator that you’ve made it when you’d catch yourself daydreaming, the sound of your boots hitting solid ground bringing you back to reality.

But…not this time. The sound of your steps hasn’t changed at all since you started walking. Click, click, click, click…

Left, right, left again…and you stop, tugging the King to be still with you.

He’s silent for a long time, just…watching you stare forward, looking at your reflection in the now dark window. He takes in a deep breath, and sighs. “Go on, bright one. Look around as much as you want.”

You slowly slip your hand out of his, and enter their shop.

Nadine said the other day that they were going to close the shop for a few days, something about celebrating the birthday of their younger twin siblings, and today…was when they were supposed to reopen. But as you look around, there’s no one in sight. Your hand slowly moves over the barrels of hair dye. You can’t tell what shade is what anymore from the power of his Craft, seeing as how the whole shop is completely lightless, and it’s…funny to you. Here you thought their Craft would be enough for the dye to truly withstand anything, and yet you finally found something that begs to differ. It’s so funny. It’s so funny, you forgot to laugh.

…You wonder where they are right now.

You peek around to the back room, and…you blink, walking towards their desk. There’s a vase filled with…very, very familiar flowers, but you can’t recall where you’ve– Oh, right, you gave those to them when you were feeling nervous, having not spoken to them in a few weeks after the whole…hair thing. They…kept them? How are the flowers still alive after this long?

Your finger brushes over a frozen petal, and you quickly take your hand away again, attempting to warm your nearly frostbitten finger in your cloak.

As you look away from the flowers, you spot…an open book on their desk, and you can’t help yourself, stepping closer to read it.

It’s…their diary.

Euphrasie says something bad is about to happen. I asked the other Housemaidens what they think, and no one is sure on what to do. Euphrasie sometimes says the most random things, and it can be hard to tell whether she’s being serious or not, but whenever she mentions feeling weird, or feeling cold…that’s never a good thing.

She said the same thing right before mom and dad went on that “business trip” overseas. And look where that got me and the twins. Never hearing from them again. Such cool parents.

   (There’s a little drawing of a thumbs-up between the sentences.)

I’m hoping that bringing the twins out to Dormont for their birthday will be a good distraction for me. Stress sucks!!!! And Euphrasie isn’t helping!!!! I just need everything to stop for a few days or something so I can catch up on this adulting bullcrab. Or go into a coma for several years with the promise that the twins would be taken care of. Whatever comes first. Surprise me.

A business trip…overseas?

…Even if you found their parents, would they even remember they’re parents?

Holding your breath, you quickly shut their diary, and tuck your hand into your cloak before you can even register how cold it was. You feel…a little weird now, having read something private like that, but…

You…can’t help but laugh, finally. You had something in common all this time…and you never knew. You never knew! Would you have ever known to begin with? You wonder if you should ask Nadine about it when you see them. But no, that’d be weird, right? Asking someone about their parents when they were never brought up before? Or saying you might know where they went for that business trip, and that you might know why they never came back? That’d be weird. That’d be very weird. You can’t do that. Why would you even think about doing that?

You stare at the now closed diary for a bit longer than you meant to, and…step out. You’re getting distracted.

As you exit the empty shop, you try to look for the King, and…he’s gone already. He must be looking around as well, checking to see how the rest of the town looks while it’s frozen. You start to wander too, suddenly feeling…uneasy as you start to spot familiar faces in the square. Seeing so many people, and yet it’s completely silent aside from your clicking heels…it’s spooky.

Some are stuck half-way taking a step forward down the street, some are stuck in a now silent conversation with a partner or group of friends, and some are stuck reading the same word of the same sentence of the same page in their book. Most of them are so…relaxed, happy, content…the Craft having worked on them in the blink of an eye, freezing them so fast they would never have been able to predict it happening beforehand.

You see a gathering of kids around a flower stand, the petals they were picking and tossing into the air hovering above them. They’re all smiling. And…you can feel yourself mirroring the expression. You always loved seeing the people in town be happy. You loved looking at their smiles. And now…

C R A S H

You turn so fast you suddenly remember how dizzy you were earlier, but you push the feeling aside as you rush to the source of the sound.

You reach the center of town, and…skid to a stop, staring with wide eyes at the mess of broken stone in front of you.

The Change God statue…it’s destroyed.

It looks like the aftermath of an explosion, with several pieces of the statue’s head littered all over the ground around it. Even the tiny versions and once dancing figurines of the god weren’t spared, either crushed under the heavy rubble or simply fell to shattered pieces from seemingly nothing. What happened????

You flinch as a hand touches your shoulder, and you turn again, your dagger drawn and held in front of you. You stare up at the King, and…slowly lower your weapon, swallowing in rising embarrassment. “My apologies if you didn’t hear me. I was calling for you.” He was? Oh… He slowly looks towards the destroyed statue, and lets out a very, very slow sigh. “...I take it the Change God doesn’t take kindly to this sudden lack of change.”

You stare at the statue, and…nod. That…makes sense.
    > “It’s like…pressure built up in it, or something.”

In fact… You point towards the edge of the crater in its head.
    > “Look, it’s still cracking.”

“Seems so… That’s a shame.”

Without another word, he suddenly turns away and starts walking.

You can’t help but sputter for a second, looking back and forth between him and the mess.

Where’s he going??
    > “Sh-shouldn’t we fix it?”

“No point. It’d be a waste of effort, especially if it’s just going to continue its tantrum over us trying to help.” Every word sounded…bitter, cold… You shiver, and follow. “Not to mention you clearly can’t touch anything here without risk. It’s better to be left as it is, and then get fixed later.”

You…nod, staying quiet as you return to his side.

You both patrol the frozen town for a while, and you eventually stand at the start of that dirt path, looking towards the house in the distance. Everything you can see…has been frozen in time. Everything except the ocean, which, eerily enough, you can hear all the way up here. Everything else is completely silent, so on one hand it’s not surprising, but on the other hand…

It’s almost like you’re staring at a room with no lights, or a land covered in shadows, never to see the sun…it’s like an everlasting night.

It’s almost…pretty.

You hear him step up beside you, and you nod before he places his hand on your shoulder.

You might as well ask.
    > “Have you noticed at all?”

“Noticed what, bright one?”

     > “The way it spreads.”

You point down towards the vine-like Craft at your feet.
    > “When your hands are closed to support the Craft with your Protecting Craft, and you’re completely still…it spreads much faster.”

You reach up and pick up his hand that’s on your shoulder, moving it up and down. You watch as the spreading Craft slows down again.
    > “But when you relax your hand, or you move around…it’s slower.”

“...I see now.” He lets you move his fingers around, closing each one until his hand is back in a fast. “Excellent observation…I would have never put that together.” You smile a little. “If that’s the case…we need to find somewhere for me to stay, so I can focus all of my energy on spreading this as fast as possible.” He looks down at you, and you turn up to him. Has he…gotten taller? “Do you have any ideas, bright one?”

You hum, and look behind you, staring at the other end of town. If not North, then…

You had never been that way before, but that’s the direction Nadine went when you waved them goodbye for their little vacation. And now you know they were going to Dormont, where they said everyone is welcome to stay. Maybe…they could even help you.

If this Euphrasie person said she felt like something bad was about to happen, and if you’re guessing right in thinking she was talking about whatever happened to your country…you don’t see why she wouldn’t want to help you protect Vaugarde from facing the same fate. It makes sense, right?

Only one way to find out, and only one direction to go.

     > “...I think I might have one.”

Chapter Text

Scrape, scrape, scrape… Yes, finally…!

You let out a relieved breath as you toss the ignited sticks into the pile, the dead leaves you set on top of everything instantly lighting into a steady fire. You use a longer branch to move the burning sticks to make the flames bigger, looking over towards the King as he stands at the edge of the treeline. He moves slowly as he turns to you, his hands still closed in fists as always. You haven’t seen him relax a single time ever since you left town. “You’re getting better and better at that every night. I’m very impressed.”

You smile, letting out a snort.
    > “Call it a spark of talent.”

“Workshop that one.” You stick out your tongue, and he laughs, carefully joining you on the ground next to you. You both remain silent for a while, before you eventually break the silence with a yawn, leaning over and bumping your shoulder into his arm. He turns to look down at you, leaning forward slightly to try and see your face. “...You look tired, bright one.”

You nod a little as you watch the fire.
    > “Kind of. Just lots of walking.”

“You didn’t expect Dormont to be as far as it is, did you.”

You stick out your tongue again.
    > “With how often you and Nadine talked about the House there, I figured it was closer.”

“Oh, I certainly wish it was,” he laughs. “Unfortunately, that is not the case. But it seems you’ve learned that now.”

Yeah…you definitely have. You’ve been walking for days, following the King no matter which direction he’d go. You have no one else to follow, but you’re glad it’s him.

Every so often, you look behind you, and you can see the darkness of his Craft ever so slowly following you, creeping up behind you… You’d be worried too if you saw that without knowing what was going on, which is probably why he asked you to reassure anyone that might be frightened by it. It’s to protect them! That’s what he did for you all this time, making sure you were safe and protected within his walls… It’s the same thing! They’ll understand.

“We just have a couple towns to cross through, and then we’ll be in Dormont.”

You perk up with a smile.
    > “And that’s when we’ll talk to everyone, right?”

“...Yes, ah…about that, Siffrin.” You tilt your head as you look up…and up…and up at him. Stars, you feel like he’s getting taller and taller every night. “If and when we stumble upon a town…I will need you to stay behind, or go ahead on your own. I will let you decide which way you’ll go when we get to that point.”

You blink. Huh?
    > “What? Why?”

“I’d like to believe that you’re aware that…not everyone is going to be pleased with what we’re doing,” he starts, his head turning to look towards the fire. “If anything were to happen, I need the people of Vaugarde to trust you. With this power, and my appearance…I wouldn’t say I’m exactly approachable. But you…” Finally, after days, he relaxes a hand, and brushes some of your hair out of your face after you nod. “You know them best. You can…blend in more, I suppose is what I’m trying to say.”

Blend in more…
    > “Well now I wish I kept the lightless hair.”

…He…doesn’t say anything.

You let out a nervous breath.
    > “J-just kidding, I’m kidding! Haha.”

Even after years, Nadine’s hair dye managed to keep your hair lightless, aside from your roots. But recently, it’s been starting to grow back in with your natural darkless look. Maybe…that’s your own version of your hope? Just like the King’s Craft? Hope that you’ll find your home, hope that you’ll…find a place where you feel like you belong…

“...Jokes aside,” he finally continues, and you relax against his arm to stare at the fire again. “I would not want to put you at risk over our…association.” Is that how it works? “Which is why I would want us traveling through towns separately. Word can spread surprisingly fast here. You understand, don’t you?”

You…don’t, really.
    > “Why is that a bad thing?”

“Bright one…”

??? Are you missing something??
    > “What we’re doing is good, right?”

“Not everyone will think so.”

     > “But we’re just trying to help.”

“And not everyone will know that at face value.” You frown, reaching over for that branch and poking at the fire again. “As much as it pains me to put this on you…you may have to be prepared to fight for this.”

You flinch.
    > “Huh? But I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“You’ll have to at some point, bright one.”

     > “But—”

“You want to protect me, don’t you?” he asks, turning slowly to look at you again. You…swallow, suddenly feeling cold despite being near the fire. “Not everyone…will like what I’m doing, Siffrin. And with how slow and careful I need to be in order to focus on this Craft…I’m quite vulnerable.”

You sink into your cloak slightly.
    > “B-but didn’t you just say you…didn’t want me at risk?”

“I don’t want to risk you ending up in the big picture.” You’re…confused. “If you work in the shadows, if you…how to say, stop any threats, without ever being detected…the only person anyone will be after is me. You can protect me…and I can protect you. Just like I have since I found you on shore.” His head tilts. You feel even more cold. “Doesn’t that sound fair?”

You…shake your head. You can hear him sigh.
    > “I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“You’ll have to.”

     > “I don’t want to, I won’t—”

“You will.”

     > “What makes you think I can?? I’ve never hurt anyone, and I—”

“You have to, Siffrin, YOU DON’T GET A CHOICE.”

His booming voice is enough to make the ground shake, birds that were resting in the trees around you immediately retreating from the area and taking flight. You dropped the branch to cover your ears, shaking slightly in your spot. You feel like you’re freezing. “Or…is it that…deep down, you don’t want to protect me?” You flinch again, turning quickly to look up at him. You open your mouth to protest, but– “Do you not trust me? After all these years…after everything we’ve been through together, after everything we’ve lost together…”

     > “Dad please—”

“Ooohh… I cannot believe this,” he…sobs, bringing his closed hands to his hair-covered face. “After everything I’ve done for you…you’ll just give up on me like that…? You’ll give up our hope just because you’re scared?”

Cold cold cold,
    > “I-I’m not, I’m not giving up, I promise!! And I’m not scared, I just—”

“I know you’ve been practicing fighting…” You flinch, feeling the need to look away. “That hair stylist… They’ve been helping you with combat, showing you how to use Craft…teaching you…self defense…” He peeks from his hands, and you catch a glance of one of his eyes in the corner of your vision. You feel so…small. “I can’t imagine why.”

…They never told you why. They just said…you might need the skills.

He takes in a very slow breath…and calms his sobs. A large tear rolls off his knuckles, and lands on the fire…and in an instant, the flames freeze in time. You shiver, gripping your blanket under your cloak. “...This…would be the same kind of concept, bright one. Self defense…that’s all it would be.” Slowly, he reaches over and sets his hand on your back. You…didn’t get a chance to nod, but it’s okay. “If someone is a threat to me…they’re a threat to us. They’re a threat to our plan, they’re a threat to our country, our hope. And, in a way…they’d be a threat to themselves. What if Vaugarde is forgotten next? Would you want that, bright one?”

You shake your head, staring at the frozen fire.
    > “Of course not.”

“Then you’ll do what is necessary for our plan.”

You nod.

“You’ll follow my instructions.”

You nod again.

“You’ll protect me, in order to protect and thank this beautiful country for giving us a place to rest, to eat, to grow…just as I have protected you in the same ways since you were young.”

…You…nod.

“You told me that you were happy with this plan. You told me you would help me save this place, save Vaugarde, no matter what it takes.” You can feel him closing his hand against your back, pulling at your cloak slightly. You shiver again. “Is that still the truth, bright one?”

…Is it?
        “What if I hurt the wrong person?”
        “What if we’re wrong?
        “What if the Universe is wrong?”
    > (...Stay silent, and nod.)

“Good. Keep it that way. It’s all for the best, after all.”

…You don’t speak for the rest of the night.

He eventually stands up, and apologizes for ruining the fire, saying he’ll be back to make a new one.

So you’re…left alone, your stare still stuck on the frozen flames.

You’re so cold.

…What you’re doing is good, right? It has to be good. You just want to help. You can’t stand the idea of this country facing the same tragic fate as yours did. You don’t want to forget Vaugarde. You want…to protect it. You want to save it from being lost. You want to save everyone in it, so they don’t ever feel like you did all those years ago. You don’t ever want anyone to feel that scared, that hurt, that confused and…

You take a deep breath, and slip out your dagger, looking at the reflection in the metal of the Stars looking down at you. You bring up your free hand to your mouth, and bite the end of one of your fingers, pulling off your glove. Slowly, you brush your thumb against the side of the blade, watching the Stars disappear and reappear from under your finger…before your thumb reaches the edge.

Very, very slowly…you move it down the sharpened edge of the dagger, and you finally let out that exhale as your thumb splits open. Blood seeps from the small cut, building up and rolling down your thumb before dripping off the side of your hand. Once more, you brush your bloodied thumb against the side of the blade, leaving a streak of that copper-scented shade along the metal.

And the reflection of the Stars…disappear…under the dark shade of your blood.

…Self defense, huh…

Now that you’re thinking about it…you suppose he has a point.

If someone tries to stop you from keeping Vaugarde safe…then they’re a threat.

You’re only doing what’s right. It’s all for the best, as he said. It’s all for the best.

Besides, if you were in that person’s shoes, and you didn’t want to keep this country safe…
you’d prefer to die in blood and Stars too, rather than be stuck here forever, frozen in tears and time.

It’s all for the best.

It’s all for…

“You’re still awake, bright one? What are– oh Stars, what happened to your finger?”

. . .

“...Nevermind that. Come now, let’s get some rest.
We have a long walk ahead of us tomorrow.”

Chapter Text

you hear a voice.

it whispers something.

it’s a question.

Do you remember?

you breathe in, and out.

a hand reaches down from the void of the sky,

and you   reach up

       with both hands

                          and you




                                                    speak.

    Do you?

       there’s                           silence.

the hand

t witches

   and   turns

 it points with one finger

         and places it

                                in your two hands.

it’s

freezing.

                      …No…
                That is not how this works, little prince.

it raises its finger
      leaving behind a small            dying             star in your hands.
                                        you want to cry.

you raise up the star towards you
you open your mouth
                                  and,

–!!!

You wake up.

Oh no- oh no oh Stars you fell asleep??

You quickly sit up and look around, trying to recall where you– right, you’re just outside of the next town, you’re in the woods, alone, then where’s– right, the King went ahead, you told him you were going to stay behind this time and wait for his signal.

But what if he already did his signal?? You’ve been asleep for who knows how long!!! What if he’s—...

You peek out from the trees towards the buildings and homes in the distance.

…the…lightless buildings and homes…

The town is already frozen in time.

…You breathe in, and slowly let it out as you start walking.

Your attempts at reassuring anyone in the previous towns never went well. You’d always have to retreat and watch from afar as the King’s Craft would spread and freeze the town, so you figured…why bother trying this time? You can admit it’s hard to be convincing when you have to put on an act, just like all those plays you watched back in your town - that you…can’t remember the name of now… (Did you ever know it to begin with?) You’d be scared too if you were in their place, and trying to act like it’s not scary when no one knows the full story…it’s easy to break character.

You try to remember the smiling faces you saw before you left, the children playing, the blissful silence of knowing they’re safe… That’s what matters. They’re safe. They’ll be safe.

…and for anyone that disapproves that…will be taken care of.

The heels of your boots click, click, click as you step onto the town’s frozen ground. With the King setting more points for the Craft to spread like this, you don’t doubt it’ll take too much longer for the entire country to be secured. A part of you was hoping you’d be able to meet him here and send another letter out to Dormont before he froze it over, but…that’s okay. Nadine probably already got your other letters, assuming they’re still in Dormont.

…You hope they are. You hope your letters have been enough for them to start talking with that Euphrasie person. If Euphrasie trusts Nadine like you trust them, then you know this’ll be easy. Euphrasie will already know of the King’s plan to protect Vaugarde, and maybe even help you figure out what happened to your country to prevent it from happening again! It’s a win-win!

The King had been…looming over you when you wrote those, though, so you couldn’t give every detail…like how you’re with him, or how you’re helping him…or how their home, their shop, their friends are all frozen in time…but that’s probably fine, right? Yeah, it’s…fine. Nadine will understand. Nadine will understand that this is a good thing. What you’re doing is good.

What you’re doing is…for the best.

It’s all for the best.

…Say, this town is…really barren, now that you’re paying attention to your surroundings. You can’t find a single person. Was this place already empty before you arrived? No, there are signs everywhere - open books left on benches, messy plates full of half-eaten food, shops with open signs and displays of fresh, albeit frozen foods in their windows…

So…where is everyone?

You choke on your own breath as something suddenly slams into the ground next to you, and you barely manage to jump out of the way as it slams again.

You draw your dagger and face the…thing in front of you. Your eyes grow wide, and the creature reels back its closed fists again, and as you jump back, it slams the ground right where you stood. The force behind it would’ve probably been enough to crack the concrete were it not for its frozen state. The creature lets out a sob as it looks at you, its form unstable and almost water-like, with its tears moving in an unnatural way just like what you can only assume to be its hair, dripping upwards towards the sky off of its body.

You glance at its hands - Rock. You’re Scissors. Wuh-oh!

You turn on your heel and start to run, but you can hear it skittering after you and catching up, the silence of the frozen land only making it more obvious to you. What is that thing?? You’ve never seen anything like it!! You shout for the King, but you receive no response, so you keep running. Fast. You’re fast. You can take advantage of that, and–

You skid to a stop as you reach the edge of town, spotting him standing just outside of the frozen grounds. He’s- no no no no he’s surrounded by those things!! You need to do something!!!

Do something!!!!
    > “DAD!!”

He turns to you a bit too calmly as you start to run, and one of those things comes up behind him, its palm outstretched and ready to attack –!!!

But you won’t let it!! With a snap of your fingers, you can feel your feet get lighter, and you move even faster to reach him. You slash at the crying creature with your dagger, watching it split apart into pieces as it falls back. It was so simple to cut through…it hardly felt solid, almost like cutting through jam. It’s like these things are made of water…or made of its own tears.

You glance around as the others jump at him, but you’re faster, cutting down each and every one that attempts to attack him. You won’t let them! You’ll protect him! You’re protecting him!!

With all of them gone, you turn back to him and–

You’re struck. You’re tossed aside as your body rolls across the grass, your arm wrapped around your stomach as you tremble. That first one- it caught up with you, you had forgotten about it, how can you be so careless, Siffrin…!!

You’re hurt, but you…you can still do this! But as you start to stand again, you drop your dagger and cover your ears, the King letting out a loud, loud, loud cry. You squeeze your eyes shut as the waves of his booming voice hit you, bringing you back down to your knees. What the…?

Slowly, you open your eyes and lower your hands, turning around and up to look at him. He’s breathing heavily, his hands in shaking fists as he stares down towards the ground. The thing that attacked you is in even smaller pieces than what you managed to cut down with the others, all…twitching violently, as if the pieces were trying to form back together.

He only watches as the creature reforms, now appearing much smaller than before, and it…retreats, the pieces of the others spreading in all directions to escape.

He just…stands there, and breathes.

So…you follow. You breathe in, and out…and finally stand up.

…You feel a little stronger.

Finally, he turns to look towards you. “Are you alright?”

    > “Yeah. Just a little winded.”

“...I apologize for that. If I could go back and make sure you were not hurt, I would.”

You slowly walk towards him, tilting your head as you hold your stomach.
    > “I thought you could? N-not that I’m asking you to, I’m fine, it’s just—”

“No, I can’t.” You blink as he looks towards the frozen town. “Not anymore. I’ve tried a couple times now.”

A…couple times?

You wonder when he’s felt the need to go back, but…something tells you it’s not a good idea to ask that.
    > “Is it because of your other Craft?”

“I can only assume so,” he says with a nod. “Time Craft requires nearly all of my focus and energy…but even setting some aside to try and go back proves to be meaningless.”

…Then you need to be more careful than ever.
    > “What were those things, anyway?”

. . .

He…doesn’t answer right away. You look down at your dagger, noticing the way the metal shines in the sunlight above you. It’s like it had just been cleaned off in some water. “I’m…not sure.” His voice doesn’t sound confident, but…you stay silent. “But clearly, they’re a threat. They’re going to be a problem…especially considering they seem to have the ability to reform even after being torn apart. Who knows what they could change into.”

As if on cue, you hear that familiar C R A S H you always hear with each passing town. The Change God statue is destroyed…again. You don’t even have to look to know that’s what the sound was. You both sigh, and…get moving again.

Every time you leave a town, you swear he’s gotten bigger, but now you know for sure. The way he towers over you, the way you can so easily hide in his long darkless hair…the way he had to lean down, down, down to help calm you after a bad dream during your travels…

You almost wonder if he really needs that armor he Crafted a few towns ago. He’s powerful enough as he is…but you know why he wears it. The Stars on his armor and gauntlets are his own signs of hope, showing the world that, in the name of the Stars, he’ll do what is necessary to keep Vaugarde safe…keep Vaugarde perfect. At least until you know what happened to your country, and put an end to that ever happening again. He just wants Vaugarde to be protected…

Just like…a king would.

Hah, no wonder he gave himself a crown instead of a proper helmet. It suits him more.

Before you know it, he reaches down and holds his hand out in front of you, stopping you in your tracks. You blink, and…see another town in the distance. You glance behind you, only to see that the one you just left is nowhere in sight. Stars, how long have you been zoned out while walking? You got so far in what felt like a few blinks!

“Do you see it, bright one?” he starts, pointing toward the enormous house just outside of the town. You follow his direction and stare in awe. “That’s Dormont. And that…is Dormont’s House.” It’s huge… It looks like it could easily hold hundreds of people inside. Nadine said it’s like a school, right? But…also a dorm system? No wonder it needs that much space. “It’s the largest House in all of Vaugarde, home to Euphrasie, Dormont’s beloved and beyond empathetic Head Housemaiden.”

You nod along, your gaze slowly drifting from the House towards the town.
    > “Dormont looks…so small.”

“It is, yes. Smaller than the town by the ocean.” He laughs under his breath. “Funny, isn’t it? The country’s biggest House…is from the country’s smallest village.” Ever so carefully, his hand moves around you, and gently pulls you closer. You let him move you however he needs, and you end up hidden in his hair. You look up, trying to see his face. “But even something so small…can be very, very powerful. Strength doesn’t necessarily come from numbers. And when you have the largest school in the country at your disposal…I would not be surprised if those residents were masters of Craft we’ve never seen before.”

…He always…talks like that. It’s weird.
    > “Why are you saying that as if they’re a threat?”

. . .

He slowly, slowly looks down at you. He…doesn’t answer your question, but with the way he’s staring at you…you can’t help but swallow. Cold… He looks forward once more, and you let out a long breath that you didn’t realize you were holding. “The House is our goal. Forget about the town… If we make it to the House, if we make it to the Head Housemaiden, we ensure the success of our plan.” Despite him not looking at you, you nod. “I apologize, but unlike before, I am not allowing you to choose where and when you’ll go this time. You will remain outside of the House while I go in first. Do not allow yourself to be spotted.”

You blink, trying to see his face again.
    > “Can I go in eventually?”

“Yes.”

     > “What’ll be my signal?”

“...You won’t need one,” he answers, looking down at you once again. “You’ll just know.”

…Will you?
        “Are you going to talk to them like you said you would?”
        “Are you going to hurt people?”
        “Are you sure this is what the Universe wants?”
    > (...Stay silent, and nod.)

Nothing else you can do.

It’s…too late to argue over anything now. You’re already here.

Hidden within his hair, you both approach the House on the hill, your dagger drawn and hidden within your cloak. Everything is a bit too quiet for your liking, but maybe that means they’re ready for you? They’re ready to help you, to talk things out, so everyone can work together to keep Vaugarde safe and protect it from…whatever targeted your country. That’s why you’re doing this. What you’re doing…is good. It’s all for the best.

You breathe in, and out…and watch him push open the large front gates and step inside.

You can only hide away and watch from the nearby trees…and wait.

You’ll know, he said. You’ll just know…

But all you know right now is that…this is it.

This is it.

And there’s no going back.

Chapter Text

You wait, and wait, and wait.

You carved a few Stars into the tree you’re hiding under, you kicked a few rocks and counted how many times each of them bounced, you reached up and tugged off a few dying leaves, watching them crumble in your hold and blow away with the wind…

You just keep waiting.

That’s when you felt the ground shake, a loud, echoing roar of the King being heard from within the House’s walls. He sounds…sad, pained, that has to be your sign. He’s in danger, and you need to help him!

Gripping your dagger, you snap your fingers, and quickly run inside the House without a second thought.

You hear…yelling, and screaming, nothing like what you’d expect to hear from what was supposed to be a simple conversation. You pass by a few strangers as you run, all frozen in time, all looking…scared, confused, hurt- no no no no this isn’t right! This isn’t what was supposed to happen, this wasn’t the plan–!!

You run up and up every set of stairs you see, finding it very easy to get lost. Every time you reach a hallway, you swear it goes on forever, even when you look behind you and see you barely got anywhere at all. Every time you reach a room, you swear it just looks…wrong, even if you’ve never seen it before. Classrooms filled with way too many desks, dorms filled with uneven decorations, barrels and boxes appearing as if they’re stuck in each other, even if that should be physically impossible…

And so many frozen strangers…all stuck in hallways that keep changing…and changing…and changing…

The ground shakes again, and you trip from the quake, grabbing onto a nearby doorframe to catch your balance. You can barely breathe. Your head feels like it’s splitting in two. But you…you have to reach him…he needs your help, you need to protect him…! You need to explain what’s going on so they’ll stop trying to hurt him! What you’re doing is good!! It has to be!!!

You’re so cold. It’s hard to catch your breath in the House’s freezing temperature, but you push yourself forward and start running again. You have to. You have to—

“Siffrin?”

You…freeze.

You hear a step, and you turn towards the familiar face so fast you’re surprised you don’t collapse. You hold your dagger out in front of you, breathing slowly, your hand…shaking from how tight your grip is.

Nadine…stares back at you, their light eyes wide and tired, like they haven’t slept in days. Your head is spinning. You watch their stare move to your dagger, and you can feel your grip get impossibly tighter. They don’t move. You don’t move either. You can’t, you can’t approach them. You almost feel…ashamed, knowing they’re afraid, afraid that you would hurt them, afraid that you would flip that dagger in your hand and…

For a while, nothing is said. What is there to say?

You let out a hitched breath as you see the darkness of his Time Craft start to sneak up on them, but you can only watch. That’s when…they finally break the silence, the icy chill of his Craft crawling up their legs and making them speak with a voice as shaky as your own body. “...You’re…alive,” they barely whisper, their eyes suddenly swelling with tears. “Thank Change you’re alive.”

You…can’t move, you can’t speak, you don’t know what to do. You feel like you’re frozen, even though…they’re the one freezing in time right in front of you.

And then they giggle, a bitter laugh imbued with the tears streaming down their cheeks. They’re smiling…they’re smiling at a time like this?? “Siffrin…”

You take a step closer, and they look so painfully happy as you start to lower your weapon.

Your head is spinning,
    > “Na—”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be stronger for you, Siffrin, I should’ve gotten you the crab out of there when I had the chance,” they say with another weak laugh, the Craft creeping up their neck. “I-I have so much to say to you but- but I can’t, and I’m sorry, b-but– I know you’ll do the right thing, Siffrin, I know you will-” Their tears freeze in place on their cheeks. “Please just promise me you’ll be careful. Please, please Siffrin th-that’s all I ask–”

But as you open your mouth to answer, to promise, their mouth…stops moving, their body covered in lightless Craft.

They’re…frozen in time, their smile cemented on their face like a sculpture, with their arm stretched out towards you and offering their cold, frozen hand.

…You place yours on top of theirs, not even caring about the way their touch bites you with a sharp, freezing pain.

You look at the styling one’s smile.

Their smile…which you could never possibly get bored of looking at…
and you nod.
    > “...I promise, Nadine.”

You know you’re making a promise to someone who can’t hurt you. You know they can’t hear, they can't speak, they can’t move, they can’t get the reassurance that you’re making that promise to them…

But you speak anyway.
    > “I promise I’ll be careful.”

…And as you stand here, your now numb hand still resting in theirs…you feel warm.

Feeling returns to your hand as you take it back, the sharp tingle of pins and needles running up your arm from your wrist, making your entire body shiver as you shake your hand out.

Warm…that’s hope. That’s their hope. You know it is. Hope that you’ll…do the right thing. Hope that you’ll keep your promise, and be careful.

…But…what is the right thing, if not this?

The ground shakes again, and you manage to keep yourself from stumbling as you turn on your heels, instinct taking over as you run up and up the stairs. Right, you…need to move. You have to get to him. You have to go go go-

You don’t run for long before you hear the sound of what seems to be dinging further ahead. You skid to a stop and hide behind a pillar as they approach, watching another stranger run by and head in the direction you just left.

The bow in her hair is messy, with a long, thin sword loosely attached to her hip, making it seem like she just ran from a fight. Her hands are holding her long skirt to keep herself from tripping over it, her jewelry jumping around and making those dinging chimes with every step. You hold your breath, watching as she runs towards the approaching Time Craft…

But she steps through like it’s nothing. She’s…not affected…just like you.

You slowly step out from behind the pillar and watch her go, disappearing down the hall.

That…might be a problem. But then the ground shakes again, and you force your body to balance as you run towards where that stranger came from. The further you go, the colder you get, the long hallway suddenly littered with…hair?

And finally…you spot him.

He’s hunched over on his knees, his closed hands covering his face as he sobs, and sobs, and sobs, making the room colder and colder as you get closer.

You feel like you’re about to cry too just from being in here.
    > “Dad!!! I’m here, I’m here!!”

He turns just as quickly as you did when you heard Nadine, an invisible force hitting you and making you stumble back. He gasps, lowering his hands- lowering his defenses. He looks so scared. “Bright one…”

You let out a wince, pushing yourself back up to your feet and hurrying over to him. You push through his hair and, despite his bigger form, he brings his hands around you and holds you close in an attempt of a hug. You can feel yourself shaking, desperately trying to catch your breath from all your running, and he seems to be trying to do the same. You join him in a quiet sob, your emotions suddenly boiling over and making your stomach hurt. “Ooooohh… Ooohh, bright one, it’s all gone wrong…” he cries, holding you closer. “They all want to hurt me… Ooooh… They want to kill me, bright one, they’re all trying to kill me…”

You shake your head furiously against him.
    > “N-no no, dad, they’re just scared, they don’t know what’s—”

“They don’t understand, they– they’re refusing to listen, they will never understand–!” You’re freezing, every second feels colder, it’s starting to hurt- “Oooooh… Oooh…”

You wish you could feel numb, but your body refuses to let it end.

The icy chill of his sobs hurt so bad, it hurts, it hurts,
     > “D-dad…”

“Please, bright one, I’m begging you…!” Finally, he loosens his hold on you, and you step back just enough to look up at his face. If he were any bigger, you feel like you’d drown from a single one of his tears. “We need to finish what we started… We need to, for our country, for our hope, for my wish-” You flinch. He towers over you as he tries to bring himself closer, his hair falling over you from all sides. Heavy…like vines…like roots… “I need you to fight for me, Siffrin, please. I know you don’t want to, but–...oooohh, after all of these years…after working so, so hard…we can’t just give up now…!! I can’t die like this, Siffrin, I can’t!!” His eyes stare down at you, and you meet his glossy, weirdly-shaded gaze, tears rolling down your cheeks as you remain silent. “You wouldn’t let anyone hurt me…right?”

. . .

You shakily reach up to wipe off your cheeks. You feel so heavy…so cold. You can’t stand the idea of that. The possible burden you’d drag with you of knowing you let the King die, knowing you let the man you consider a father perish to the hands of who you thought were kind, empathetic, and understanding people…it’s too much. You could never handle that. Not after everything he’s gone through for you to keep you safe, happy, alive…

What kind of prince would that make you? You’d be disgusting. You’d be disgraceful. You’d be nothing without him. It’d be betrayal. You’d be betraying him, your country, yourself…

You can never let that happen.

So…you shake your head.
    > “...No. Never.”

He lets out…a laugh, a low, relieved laugh as he leans down more, and gently rests his forehead against yours. You breathe in and out slowly together, your hands resting on the Stars of his gauntlets. “As always…your heart remains true, pure…loving…” You sniffle, trying not to cry again. “I’m so proud of you… I wouldn’t trust my life with anyone else…” You nod, and he laughs again.

“To call you my own child, even if we do not share the same blood…it’s an honor. Once this is over, once we find whoever damned our country to the void of forgotten memories, once we’re sure it is safe to restore Vaugarde to a moving state…let us choose a last name to share, as father and child. As King…and his little prince.” You feel your mouth curl up into a smile, and you nod again, blinking back a few more tears.

Finally, he leans back, and you let out a slow exhale, rubbing your eyes and wiping your cheeks. “...But now…this is where we part ways, bright one.” You slowly nod, and…see him smile, despite the tears dripping off his chin. “I’m counting on you to protect me… I’m counting on you to…take care of those who want to hurt me, want to hurt you, hurt our goal… Can you do that?”

…Can you?
        (Nod your head.)
        (Nod your head.)
        (Nod your head.)
    > (Nod your head.)

You don’t have another choice, just like he said, but…it’s not like you’d take one anyway.

This is…the right thing to do.

His smile grows, and he turns slightly as you step back again. “Then…I shall remain here, waiting for you to return…when the country of Vaugarde is frozen in perfection.” He slowly starts to raise his hands again, preparing himself to remain still, just like you planned. “One Housemaiden…managed to escape my Craft, and plans to kill me. You cannot allow her to do that, even if she gains allies, and you become outnumbered.” You remember the stranger with the bow that ran by earlier. Was that… “Her name…is Mirabelle. She’s powerful, and blessed by the Change God, so she’s immune to Time Craft…but you’re stronger, you’re faster…you can…take care of her.
...Do not let me down. Do you understand?”

You nod with no hesitation.

You grip your dagger under your cloak, and start to turn.

But then he hiccups from a cry, and you glance over your shoulder at him.

“...A-and…Siffrin, please remember…if anything, please remember this…”

He lowers his hands slightly, and you see his eyes once more, and…his smile.

“Never forget…that I love you. And I always will.”

You…smile, and nod. He’s never…said that before.

You feel cold still, but…that’s normal for you.

That's just...how your weird little family works.
    > “I love you too, dad.”

Without another word, you watch him take a deep breath, and bury his face in his closed fists…his body completely still aside from his breathing…

As you turn away, you…suddenly feel sick, your head pulsing in pain, but as you wince and hold your head, squeezing your eyes shut—

—you…find yourself outside of the House.

You feel dizzy, looking back and forth. Did…he do that? At least you don’t have to walk all the way down…

You look behind you as the front gates close on their own, five small orbs of light appearing in a few holes of the massive door’s etched design. And…they pop out of the door, suddenly flying in five different directions faster than you can register their appearance. Those…must be keys of some sort, making it impossible to get inside the House and interrupt him.

…So he’ll be safe…as long as that door doesn’t open.

You breathe in, and out…and look up towards the night sky.

Your stare darts around, and then…you spot a cluster of Stars, shining brighter in comparison to the rest. That must be where that little miss Mirabelle is heading…

With a snap of your fingers, you look up towards where the Universe is leading you…and you follow.

It’s the right thing to do.

It has to be.

It has to be…

Chapter Text

She's cautious. Maybe overly cautious.

For being blessed by the Change God, this Housemaiden is…certainly on the timid side.

You've been watching her from afar for a couple days now, watching her sleep, watching her fight, watching her cook, watching, observing, learning… You've picked up on her quirks and skills, even at your distance, and you know…she's a bit too careful for her own good.

You've tried to lure some of those weird creatures her way, disappearing into the trees above and leaving them with her before she ever even had a chance to see you. But every time, she'd either run and they'd lose sight of her, or…she'd fight, and by some miracle, she'd win.

It didn't take long for you to realize you were making her stronger by mistake, so you…quickly put an end to that luring method. But her strength doesn't matter. He said so. You're still faster. You're still stronger. She wouldn’t have a chance against you.

It wouldn't take much, you know that, just a simple slash or two of your dagger, and she'd be…taken care of. Just like he wants. But even with your speed and strength…the Housemaiden is never alone whenever you feel you're ready to strike. Someone or something always comes up, or gets in the way, or interrupts. It's annoying, having to constantly change your approach.

But…with her moving so slow, with her being so careful…it gives you another idea.

You put on your best smile, and ask someone in a nearby town where the lovely Housemaiden was heading. You tell them you saw her pass through, and that you were wanting to give her some information on the King, but…oh no, you're toooooo slow, you could neeever catch up with her! But maybe…you could beat her to where she's heading, and meet her there!

That's when you learned of her destination.

All you had to do was put on a little act…

Mirabelle is heading to Jouvente, home of the biggest line of Defenders in Vaugarde.

You're not entirely sure what Defenders are, but you can only assume she's going to them for help on defeating the King- defeating your father. You can't allow them to do that. You can't let him down. You can’t.

So…you run, heading towards the brightest Star in the South-West, skipping meals and skipping sleep along the way in order to save time. And with her careful, slow route…she falls behind, and you manage to beat her there.

This should be easy.

For your own reassurance, in case- Stars forbid- something else happens and you still can’t stop her…then you can at least stop her from getting any help.

You grab today’s newspaper, flip it open to look at the expected article about the King…and start to walk.

Your hands tremble as you grip the newspaper, and you let out a few short, shaky breaths as you read the same lines over and over again. Eventually, your distraught demeanor is noticed, and you’re approached by some strangers. They ask you what’s wrong, and…you force yourself to sob, burying your face in the newspaper.

Your body shakes.
    > “He’s too strong… Nothing can stop him…!”

You take note of the outfits of the strangers surrounding you, all attempting to calm you down and comfort you. They’re all wearing the same designed sash, or using it as a belt, or both…how interesting.

You twist and turn every time they try to reach for you.
    > “H-he hurt them…they’re gone, my family is gone…!!”

You let your fake tears fall, finally letting a stranger set their hand on your back. You can feel their hand shaking on you. They’re scared.
They’re scared… Your act is working.
    > “Nobody gets it…!!! Nobody s-seems to understand how scary this all is… Why would he d-do this…? Why, why!!!”

That's when you learned about the Defenders.

All you had to do was swap the roles…put the King in the place of those from the House, and act out the modified script.

They were trying to hurt him. They were trying to take your family away. You can't allow them to do that. You can't let him down. You can’t.

You overheard one of the Defenders whisper to another, something about how they ‘need to discuss this with the others’ from what you understood. Based on their worried expressions, you could only assume they’re planning on staying out of the situation.

Not like they do much anyway, from what you’ve learned.

A day goes by, and you stay out of sight as Mirabelle finally, finally makes it to Jouvente.

You watch from the shadows as she goes to the Defenders, begging, offering, trying her absolute hardest to get them to help her. She’s stressed, shaking, on the verge of breaking down, desperate for someone, anyone to step up and help her fight!

…But no one steps up. They’re too afraid. They’d rather stay behind and wait for the blanket of his Craft to fall over them to keep them safe…how smart.

She doesn’t know what to do. She doesn’t know where else to go.

All you had to do…was put on a little act.

…At least this way…you won’t have to hurt anyone, after all.

You smile, and step back further into the alleyway…

But then you hear someone yell for the Housemaiden, and you turn back around.

“It’s Mirabelle, right?” the very tall, very…strong looking Defender starts, catching their breath from running to her. She nods nervously, and they smile confidently, bringing their hands together to crack their knuckles. Those gloves… “I’ll go with you. I won’t let you do this alone, miss Mirabelle! You can count on me!”

…And that’s when the Housemaiden met Isabeau.

A Fighter…a Defender…and a natural in Protective Craft…

Rock.

Stars.

Days pass. Weeks pass. You don’t even know where they’re going at this point.

Your grip on your dagger is so tight, you’re almost worried you’ll break the handle. You watch the smoke of their campfire rise up towards the Stars, and despite how clashing your cloak is in the darkness around you…they never see you. They have yet to notice the way you’re following them, the way you’re watching them, the way you’re observing them…learning every little thing about them that you can process from your distance…

“Hey, Mira?”

Your stare leaves the fire, and you watch the Housemaiden turn to the Fighter.

“Yes?”

“...I’m sorry.”

“Huh? For what?”

“For the, uh…for the other Defenders. The fact that no one else would help you.”

“O-oh, um, it’s okay! It’s…it’s okay.”

They’re both silent for a long, long time, staring down at the flames.

…You’re cold. You wish you could be near a fire too, but…

“Isabeau?”

You look up at them again.

“What’s up, Mira?”

“...Thank you for being here.”

“Oh!! Uh, yeah Mira, I…I’ll be here for as long as you need.”

They’re…silent again. Then you watch the Housemaiden scoot closer to the Fighter, and she leans against him. Carefully, he wraps an arm around her and pulls her into a side hug.

…You can hear her crying.

Minutes pass. You lose track of counting the seconds.

Finally, they fall asleep, the fire having settled down and only leaving burning embers behind. The only movement in the area is the smoke of the dying fire.

Silently, you approach, your dagger…shaking in your hand.

You slowly, slowly slide your boots against the grass, making sure not to risk them hearing your steps. Every little breath you take is sickeningly loud in the silence of the night. And with every step you take, every breath you try to hold…it only makes you want to throw up more.

You raise your dagger, and stare down at the pair, watching them sleep…watching them breathe…

…And…you can’t…

You can’t… b rea  the,

You raise your free hand to your mouth as you try to quiet your gag, dashing back into the trees as the pair startle awake. You force yourself to swallow the bile that crawled up your throat as they question each other if they had heard something. You’re out of sight…they don’t know you’re there, they don’t know you were moments away from…

You quickly stumble further into the trees, making sure you’re far enough to not be heard, and you finally empty your stomach onto the grass. You barely have any food in you to begin with, but your body rejects it anyway, your arms wrapped around yourself as you shake and shake and shake. Your throat burns as you throw up again, but you force yourself onto your feet again, running and running as you hear footsteps. They weren’t close enough to see you. They didn’t see you. They didn’t. They don’t know you’re here. They don’t know you exist. They don’t. They don’t.

They can’t.

…You need to breathe. You need to…rest. You have no energy now. You…can’t try anything tonight. You can’t. You can’t…

You push yourself to climb up into a tree, making sure you’re hidden in the leaves…and you let out a slow breath. Your stomach hurts. Your throat hurts. You feel like you’re going to throw up again, but you have nothing to get out. You just…need to rest…

. . .

You look up towards the Stars.

You’re surrounded by so many lights…so many eyes…

What was stopping you? They were asleep. They were defenseless. It could’ve been so, so easy. You could’ve won. You could’ve taken care of them in an instant, and return to the King to sit by his side as the country freezes in time- freezes in Protective Craft… It should’ve been easy. This should already be over.

…But standing over them, holding your dagger…you felt just like you did when you tried to cross the ocean to your home…

. . .

You feel like

You feel like    you’re falling apart,

With a shaking hand, you draw your dagger, and bite off one of your gloves.

The Stars are hardly reflecting in the metal of the blade this time. Must be because of the trees.

You stare at the still-healing cut on your thumb for a few moments before you press it against the metal…and move it to the edge, reopening the wound and letting it bleed.

It’s warm. Your blood is warm…it’s helping you…focus. You’re not out at sea. You’re not in your boat. You’re farther from home than you’ve ever been. You’re…on land. You’re on land. You’re on solid ground.

…Well, sort of. You’re in…a tree. Not on solid ground. But it still counts.

You watch your blood drip onto the tree branch you’re sitting on. You watch it just barely miss your cloak. That wouldn’t mix well on its darkless material…you should be more careful.

The smell of copper…keeps you here. It keeps you grounded.

…Ah, you…moved your dagger more. You cut your palm. You didn’t mean to do that, but…it’s okay. The warmth is nice.

The warmth…rolls down your wrist…and down your arm…

You turn your body to lay down on the large branch, letting your arm dangle off the side of the tree. You’re too far to be seen. You’re too far to be noticed. You’re not losing enough…for this to be bad…

You stare up at the Stars again. You try to connect them, find shapes, find something familiar…

But the eyes on you only stare, unmoving, unresponsive…just watching you bleed from your hand as exhaustion catches up with you.

…Maybe this is your sign from the Universe…to finally catch up on sleep…

It’s been… days…
          and…

You startle as you hear footsteps, and you bring your clean hand up to your mouth to silence your gasp. They’re on the move? Already?

“North, you said?”

“Yes. I felt something similar when we met, s-so…”

“I’ll go wherever you think is best, Mira, I told you that. You don’t have to explain yourself. I trust you.”

“O-okay, okay… Sorry we’re moving when it’s so late.”

“It’s okay. I feel like that wasn’t the best place to set camp anyway…aaaand I didn’t really think about it when I picked the spot, so that’s my bad! Don’t beat yourself up so much.”

She giggles. “It’s our bad, Isabeau, it’s okay! It’s a team effort. It’s a…very tiny team effort.”

“Well it’s the best very tiny team around!!” he laughs, and she joins him. “...We’ll be alright, you know.”

“...Yeah, we’ll be alright.”

. . .

…And just like that, they’re gone.

You slowly sit up…put your glove back on…and climb down the tree.

North… They’re heading North. You wonder if it’s near…

. . .

Back on your feet, Siffrin.

You have no time to rest.

You have no time to waste.

Chapter Text

you hear a voice.

it whispers something.

it’s a question.

Do you remember?

you breathe in, and out.

a hand reaches down from the void of the sky,

and

                                 you speak.

    What if I don’t want to?

       there’s
                                            silence.

               there’s nothing

                   but silence. not even y
                                      our own br
                                      eathing.

your stomach   hurts

the hand

t witches

   and—  

–!!!

SLAM

You cough harshly as your back hits the tree, turning your head to spit out some blood as you glare up. The Sadness rushes at you with what sounds like a laugh, ready to strike again. You passed out. Of course you passed out–

You roll out of the way as the Sadness crashes into the tree, making itself stunned from the impact. Despite being barely awake, you manage to draw your dagger, and you slash it down into the creature. It cries out what you can only assume to be a call for help, but it’s just you two here. There’s only you. And you’re not letting it get away. Did it think it was funny? Watching you struggle to get up? Well you’re about to be blinding hilarious.

You try to steady your breathing as you thrust your blade into its water-like, disheveled body again, watching it wriggle around under you as you stab it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over— THERE.

. . .

You breathe in, and out.

You feel…stronger.

…It was so easy to kill it. It was so easy to kill the Sadness. It was easy.

So why couldn’t you do the same to them before.

. . .

Calling them Sadnesses is something you picked up from the Housemaiden and the Fighter over the last couple weeks. Not even the King had a name to call them before, but even you can admit that ‘Sadness’ is quite fitting, given their appearances and…constant sobbing. You’d prefer to call them annoying, but…you’ve always been bad with names.

Slowly, you push yourself onto your feet, doing your best to keep your balance. Waking up from being thrown into a tree isn’t exactly the best way to start your day, and…augh, that hit to your back is really gonna bother you, but…it’s okay. It’s fine. It’s…fine. You just have to-...

…Wait. Oh. Oh no. Oh Stars how long were you asleep???

You quickly turn away from the remains of the Sadness and– woah, okay…dizzy… You’re still waking up, don’t move that fast… But you…you have to, you just have to push through it. You don’t have time. You don’t have time.

You hide your weapon under your cloak, and start to run. You don’t know where, but you just know you need to move, move, move.

A town. A House. Anything would be helpful for some sort of direction on where they could’ve gone. How could you be so stupid letting them go like that. How could you be so careless. You don’t need rest. You don’t. And yet you let yourself rest. What are you, selfish?

…No. Don't say that. He would never think of you like that.

He said so. He said so. He said so. He said

Luckily, it doesn’t take you long to find a town. You brush the dirt off of your cloak, wipe your mouth with your lightless glove…and head in.

Eyes are on you almost immediately.

Traveler? Traveler? Are you alright, traveler? Have you eaten, traveler? Traveler, are you hurt?

The wave of kindness is almost overbearing. You put on a natural smile as you’re attended to, offered food and water and supplies. Right, there’s…probably more than just dirt on your cloak, and you’ve been struggling to move in a straight line since you were so rudely woken up.

Even with all of them looking to be in the midst of packing and preparing to flee the town…they still focus on you, some stranger, someone they know nothing about, not even your name…

…Being called ‘traveler’ almost stings in a way, but you can’t blame them.
    > “Th-thank you, thank you, I…I’m okay, though. I…”

You step  forward, and
    > “...I’m…”

  you feel your body

fall

       and,

–!!!

You wake up.

You sit up so fast you hardly give yourself the chance to breathe, but hands are on you before you can even turn, and you let out a startled shout as you shake them off. You look around furiously, and…you’re in a bed, your hat and cloak hanging off some hooks on the other end of the room, with a stranger standing off to the side. Their hands are in front of them, and judging by the short distance, you can only assume they were the one trying to keep you in place. “I- I’m so sorry, you’re probably terrified right now.” Probably??? “Please, um, p-please stay in bed!! I’m sorry, I’m sorry this is probably so weird, oh Change, um-”

As the stranger stutters words you can’t understand, you take note of…their jewelry. Their large necklace is almost identical in design to what you’ve seen on the Housemaiden. Is this…another one? “You got here and, um, you just- you just passed out! No hellos, no just passing throughs, no ifs ands or buts about it! Just passed out. On the ground. In the middle of the square. It was scary! S-so, um, now you’re here, and—”

    > “How long?”

“You just– Huh?”

You try not to huff.
    > “How long? How long have I been asleep??”

They let out a squeak from your higher volume, holding their hands out in mock defense. “Uh-um, um, a day?? I think?? You—”

Stars.
    > (GET UP.)

You ignore their nervous sputters as you push yourself out of the bed, stumbling over to retrieve your cloak and hat. “W-wait, wait traveler please you still haven’t eaten anything!!” You ignore them as you head towards the closest door you can see, but you force yourself to stop as another pair of…somewhat familiar faces step into the doorway.

You look down at the kids–are they kids? They look more like…recent teenagers–as they walk inside, blocking your path. They share the same face, same height, same eyes…their only differences being their hair and their clothes.

…Why do their faces look familiar…

The one with longer hair speaks up first. “You’re far from home.”

The one with shorter hair speaks next. “What are you doing out here, Siffrin?”

HUH???

Your breath immediately gets caught in your throat, and you turn your head to cough a couple times. The two continue to stare at you, and you can hear the housemaiden attempting to gather some things behind you.
Finally, your coughs settle, and you turn back to the pair.
    > “D-do… Do I know you?”

They turn to look at each other for a second, as if they were silently communicating in each other's heads…and then they look back at you.

The one with longer hair speaks up first. “No. You don't know us.”

The one with shorter hair speaks next. “But you know our older sibling.”

Older…sibling? You squint, trying to notice every detail in their faces. They’re…twins, yes, you’ve gathered that, but you don’t remember any…

Oh, wait! The styling one! You remember them mentioning something about their younger twin siblings! So you know of them, but you just don’t actually know them. You got it now!

…Now that…they were mentioned…

The one who dyed your hair, the one you learned Craft from, your first and…only friend…

…What was…

What was…their name, again?

. . .

Their name. You should…you should know it. You should know their name.

Their name. Their name, their name their name their name what was their name?

Your

Your   breathing picks up,   and–

The housemaiden behind you walks up and steps into your view. You can’t help but flinch from the sudden movement, and they squeak again. “S-sorry! Here, um, please at least take this with you. You need something, please…!” They hold out…a freshly baked croissant, and you do your best to smile, the smell finally hitting you as you pick up the offered bread. You’re really not getting out of this one.

…The croissant is…warm. It’s warm in your hands, it…feels nice…

…warm…

You perk up, turning back to the twins.
    > “It’s…Nadine, right?”

They are still, and silent, for a long time. You smile nervously.

And then they finally nod. You try not to make your relieved sigh obvious.

The one with longer hair speaks up first. “This is my sister Nanetta.”

The one with shorter hair speaks next. “And this is my brother Noreis.”

Ah, you’re…sensing a theme here.

You finish your bite of bread.
    > “That…doesn’t get confusing at all, does it.”

…They’re glaring at you. Wuh-oh!

Noreis speaks up first. “Why are you out here, Siffrin?”

Nanetta speaks next. “Are you trying to run from the curse too?”

You blink.
    > “Curse? What curse?”

“The King’s curse,” they say at the exact same time. Woah, weird.

Noreis starts… “The thing that’s making people freeze in place?”

…and Nanetta ends. “The thing Nadine wanted us to run from?”

…That’s what they’re calling it?
    > “It’s not a—”

“Nadine said they’d come get us when he’s gone,” Noreis leads.

“Nadine said they’d look for you too afterwards,” Nanetta follows.

Oh. They…wanted to look for you?

Noreis chuckles. “But we beat them to it!”

Nanetta giggles. “We already found you, Siffrin!”

“Now we just need to find Nadine!”

…Oh.

No, that’s…
    > “...Not yet. We can’t find Nadine yet.”

“Why not?”

You…try not to look at them. Their synchronized words almost make them sound accusatory.

Why not? “Because…
        …it’s too late for them.”
        …they’re already frozen.”
        …they’re still in Dormont’s House.”
    > …the King needs to be defeated first!”

They tilt their heads in the same direction–is this creepy to anyone else??–and you smile.
    > “You two are skipping the first step, remember? The King…needs to be gone first.”

They look at each other again, doing whatever weird silent twin communication thing they seem to have… Is this normal for twins??

He turns to you first. “Are you going to help Nadine fight?”

She turns to you after. “So we can see them again and go home?”

…Help them fight…to go home…

You’re doing that yourself, aren’t you? That’s the whole point of this.

You smile and nod.
    > “Of course. Which is why…I really need to go.”

You let out a snicker as they turn to each other again, realizing they’re still in the doorway. Still…blocking your exit.
You tilt your head too.
    > “So…can you two let me go by? I’m well rested, I ate…I’m ready to go and fight with Nadine. I’m…ready to go home too.”

They try to copy your movements, tilting their heads again, but this time they bump into each other, and you struggle not to snort. So much for being perfectly synchronized! They mutter some things to each other, sounding annoyed that their creepy bit was ruined, but…

Eventually, they nod and separate, stepping to each side of the door.

“Be careful, Siffrin.”

…You nod. You made them a promise, after all.

You wave goodbye to the housemaiden behind you, taking one more croissant that she just had to offer you…and you leave the small infirmary.

You really, really don’t have any more time to waste. You already wasted so much of it with your body giving up on you like that. You make a mental note to only scavenge little things as you do, just to make sure this doesn’t happen again. You can live off of small rations. You have before. Sometimes that’s all he would give you.

…No. Don't say it like that. He wouldn’t do that on purpose.

He gave you what he could, even if it wasn’t enough sometimes.

You were still fed. You were still fed. You were still fed. You were

You finish the rest of your croissant as you approach some of the town’s Defenders, waving them over with a nervous smile. You ask the same questions, say the same things, and recite the same lines as you do in every town. It’s become your own little script.

The same questions.
    > “Do you know where Mirabelle is going? The Housemaiden from Dormont?”

The same things.
     > “I have some information about the King that I think she should know.”

The same lines.
    > “I’m trying to catch up with her. Can you point me in the right direction?”

The same script.
    > “Thank you! I’ll head that way, then!”

Their answers are always different. But they’re the answers you need.

All you ever have to do…is put on an act. Follow the script, and you get what you need.

As you run in the direction you were provided, you watch the sun rise and fall a few times, before eventually, finally, you catch up with her.

You watch from a distance as her and the Fighter struggle against a very large, very strong Sadness. Its big, flattened hands are pressed up to its face, and it keeps screaming as it cries and cries. Maybe that thing will do your job for you. Hopefully.

But then as you move along the treeline, you notice…there’s somebody else with them. A taller, older looking person with their hair up, one hand carrying a book while the other keeps their glasses in place from their movements. They’re slower than the others, and based on their hands, you can tell they’re a natural in Creative Craft.

Paper. Just like the Sadness.

No wonder the Fighter is struggling.

As you watch the trio, you can’t help but think about what the twins said a few days ago.

Help them fight…to return home.

You know they were talking the styli– Nadine in that scenario, and that’s all you would really care about, but…maybe they had a point.

Maybe you should change your approach. Clearly, you can’t get close without risking being seen, being known…

So what better way to take care of the enemy…if they never think you’re an enemy to begin with?

…And if you still fail somehow…then you’ll return home to him in the end, and you can take care of them…together.

Working for a better future alongside a King…
just like the little prince you are.

You hear the Fighter shout as he tumbles to the ground, the Housemaiden letting out a fearful cry as she runs to his side. The stranger with them tries to stand their ground, with the Fighter yelling – “Move, m’dame!!” – as he struggles to get off the ground to return to her, to protect her, like a good Defender should.

You grip your dagger, smile, and run.

The three gasp as they see you appear from behind the Sadness, and you raise your blade, piercing it right through it with ease. It falls into two pieces, letting out weak whines and sobs as the halves retreat in opposite directions, leaving you standing in its place.

They’re all…staring at you, wide-eyed, the Housemaiden in particular looking more in awe than anything else. None of them say a word, and your smile turns…a little nervous. Are they really not gonna say anythi—

“WHAT WAS THAT???” the Housemaiden suddenly shouts. Ah, there we go. You snort. “How did you do that?? You took it out in one hit???”

You raise a brow before tilting your head with a smirk, spinning your dagger in your hand. Might as well show off a little.
    > “I don’t know. I guess I’m just a cut above the rest.”

They…stare again, before the Fighter breaks the silence with a snort, snickering under his breath. The older woman narrows her eyes at you. “Oh you can not be serious.”

Your smirk grows.
    > “What? I thought that was quite sharp of me.”

The Fighter laughs again. The Housemaiden joins him, covering her mouth with her hand. Looks like they trust you already! The oldest, finally closing her book, brings up her free hand to pinch the bridge of her nose. “Thank you for…defeating that Sadness, but an introduction of some sort would be appreciated. Otherwise, we’ll be on our way.”

“Aww don’t be so quick for us to leave, m’dame Odile!” …Odile. Interesting. “They just saved our lives here! And they’ve got puns…who could say no to puns?”

“I could. Gladly, actually.” She lets out a sigh, and shakes her head as she lowers her hand. “Your attire is…unfamiliar to me. Are you a traveler, by chance? Were you also wrapped up in this Curse business when you were just trying to visit Vaugarde?”

Your smile…struggles a little, and you just barely catch your dagger after almost dropping it. Whoops!
    > “I-I uh—”

“W-we can worry about those details later, madame!” Mir– the Housemaiden interrupts. Phew. Her smile turns to you, and you can’t help but mirror it. “Thank you for helping us, traveler!”

You nod, letting out a little laugh.
    > “Yeah! Yeah, whatever it takes to…stop the Curse, haha.”

“Oh?? So you’re after the King too??” You…nod. “Oh, well…nobody can get to him without the keys to the House’s gates. We’re, um, actually working on finding those and getting them back! Here, look.” She digs around in her pockets and…takes out a small, lightless orb. You can tell your eyes went wide. You saw those fly off from the House all those days…weeks…ago.

…How long have you been out here again?

“I got one too!” the Fighter exclaims, holding out another similar looking orb. Oh… “If, uh, you’d want to help us out, traveler, that would…that would mean a lot!” He seems…embarrassed, like he doesn’t want to admit they need help. “We’ll never turn down an extra set of hands!”

“Especially another set of hands that’s skilled with Piercing Craft,” Odile adds, staring at your dagger. “...Very…strong Piercing Craft, if I may add.”

Your smile grows, and you nod.
    > “I’d be more than happy to help!”

The Housemaiden beams, and her and the Fighter put away their orbs- their keys to him- before she helps him stand. Her hand hovers over one of his shoulders, glowing slightly…must be some sort of healing Craft. “That would mean soooo so so so much to us, traveler!! Thank you!!” She pauses for a moment before she blinks, looking worried. “Oh Change I forgot to introduce us too– the jokes distracted me!!!” The Fighter laughs before she sticks her tongue out at him. “Shush, Isabeau…!! You weren’t helping…!!!”

“Kids, please.”

“S-sorry, madame! Um…” Using her free hand, the Housemaiden points to everyone in turn. “I’m Mirabelle, um, from Dormont. This is Isabeau, h-he, um, came out here with me all the way from Jouvente. And this is madame Odile from Ka Bue! She’s really smart, and um…pretty much knows every Craft out there! It’s incredible!”

“You flatter me, Mirabelle,” Odile starts with a little smile.

“I’ve been trying to figure out what the crab she’s researching,” the Fighter adds, receiving a glare from…the Researcher. “She won’t tell me!”

“You don’t flatter me, Isabeau.”

“Ough… My heart… So rude, m’dame!”

With a nervous giggle from their banter, Mirabelle finally steps up to you with that same sweet smile from before. That smile is…almost familiar to you for some reason.

…warm…

“And…your name?”

Oh, it’s your turn.

With a glance to each of them, your stare falls on the Fighter for a bit longer than the others…and you smirk again, raising your dagger once more.
    > “I’m Siffrin.”

You show off another spin of your blade, toss it up in the air…and catch it flawlessly.

     > “It’s knife to meet you!”

Chapter Text

Staying in one place for too long is not exactly a common occurrence for the party. But every few days or so, someone mentions staying in a random town for an extra day or two, whether it’s to gather more supplies, catch up on sleep, or try to find distractions from the King’s encroaching Craft and…enjoy life normally. You always encourage it no matter the reason, usually receiving some form of protest from the Housemaiden, but the Fighter (expectedly) and the Researcher (surprisingly) would take turns agreeing with you, both knowing everyone needs a break every now and then.

This is a traveling show. You don’t always have to be in character. And…it’s nice. It’s nice to let go sometimes.

Even if it’s only to gain more and more of their trust. Even if it’s only to lure them into a false sense of security and peace. Even if it’s only to strike them when they’re relaxed, defenseless…blissful in pure ignorance…

…But even you can admit that…it’s nice not having to think about your duty, or his…expectations…from time to time.

Spending time with people, even if they hardly know you…is nice.

Even if it’s all in vain.

Even if you’re just going to kill them anyway.

…Something in the back of your mind says… you almost sound like him…

. . .

You should stop thinking about it for now. Your stomach hurts.

The Housemaiden offers you another serving, and you decline, showing off your best smile as always.
    > “I’m saving it for later.”

“Isabeau is already making more,” the Researcher adds, and your smile struggles. “You hardly ate. You don’t need to worry about saving every little bite for the road.”

“Did you not eat much while traveling, Siffrin?” You turn back to the Housemaiden, and she doesn’t give you any time to answer. “That must’ve been awful… Especially since you- you said you’ve been traveling alone since the Curse started, right?? That’s so long now…!!”

Huh? It hasn’t been that long.
    > “I guess I’ve always been like this.”

“Well that’s not very comforting,” the Fighter laughs nervously, getting the prepared food off of the fire. “I think I’d rather hear about you not eating much for a couple months rather than your whole life.”

. . .

Did he say…
        “Has it really been months?”
    > (Stay silent.)

“I- I MEAN-” Something in his expression becomes very nervous very quickly, and he raises his hands in front of him. “N-not that you hardly eating lately isn’t still a bad thing!! That’s not what I meant!!! You d-don’t have to look at me like that, Siffrin!!” …You’re…looking at him weird? “I’m just!! Concerned, you know!! I-I, uh, I think we all are! I am…not the only one here! Yeah!”

…Oh.

Why are they concerned? You’re fine. It’s not like they need to care anyway.

Besides…out of everyone here, you’d think that the Researcher is the one looking at him weird, not you!

“Gems alive, Isabeau…”

“What!!! They looked distraught! I didn’t wanna sound mean!! I meant—”

“We know what you meant,” she interrupts, letting out a sigh before turning back to you. You smile. It’s instinct at this point. “Pardon our poor Defender, Siffrin, you know how he is.”

You do your best to laugh.
    > “Sure do, haha.”

…Okay, you were trying to ignore it, but,
    > “...Has it really been months?”

“Huh?” the Housemaiden perks up, suddenly looking even more concerned than normal. “Are you talking about the Curse?” You nod. “Um…yes. The first report of a town being frozen in time was a couple months ago.”

“From what we know, it started up North of Vaugarde, not too far East of Poteria. Right by the border.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, Isabeau, but Jouvente is almost directly South of the starting point, is it not?”

“Yup, that’s right, m’dame!” the Fighter smiles. “I think the only reason the Curse is moving so slowly is—”

     > (Because he’s focusing on Vaugarde’s border first.)

They all turn to look at you. You blink.

Did you say that out loud???
    > “R-right? That- that makes sense, right?”

“That…does, yes,” the Researcher hums, not breaking her eye contact with you. “How long have you been in Vaugarde, Siffrin?”

UM,
    > “Not that long? Probably, like…a week? Or two?”

“...Interesting.” Finally, she breaks contact, and takes out her book, writing…something. Your smile struggles. Oh cool! Writing about you! All good things! Probably!! Most definitely!!! “I can’t imagine you came to Vaugarde without at least some sort of prior knowledge of what’s been taking place.”

“Madame…?”

“Give me a minute, Mirabelle.” She turns to look at you again, and you feel yourself flinch. “I never got a proper answer from you before, Siffrin. Did you just so happen to travel here in the midst of the King’s wrath, or…” She squints slightly. You hold in a cough. “...did you come here because of the King?”

You hold up your hands in mock defense as you laugh.
    > “I-I uh—”

“I only ask because…what you said about the Curse spreading around the border first, rather than moving over the stretch of the land from its starting point…that doesn’t seem to be something any of us noticed, and we’ve all been here since the start.” You open your mouth to speak, but she holds up a finger and continues. “And I can only wonder… How did you get into Vaugarde in the first place if that’s the case? And if your time here is accurate…if it’s honest…” You are trying so hard to smile, it’s starting to make your cheeks hurt. “...then I don’t know how a ‘week or two’ worth of time is enough for you to justify some sort of revenge against the King, rather than just…turning right back around and returning home, where it’d be safe.”

“Um, m’dame, I think you should—”

“Let me finish, Isabeau,” she huffs in slight frustration, turning back to you after a quick glare at him. “So, if you’d please enlighten me, Siffrin. I’d love to hear about why you’re here, why you’re joining us on such a dangerous mission, why you’re—”

Stars.
    > “I want to save my family.”

She…stops. She’s staring at you as if she was surprised you’d actually speak.

You let your smile fall, and you look down.
    > “I was traveling with my dad. We got separated just outside of Vaugarde, and…”

You grip your blanket under your cloak.
    > “...I’ve been trying to find him ever since. I know he’s here. I know he’s probably…dead, b-but…I need to help him. I have to save him. I have to.”

Your head tilts down more. You let a couple tears fall, and you hear the Fighter move closer to you. He’s a physical kind of comforter. You don’t let him touch you.
    > “I-I have to…”

“Oh, Siffrin…I’m so sorry,” the Housemaiden starts, moving closer to you as well. “I can only imagine how scary that is… How did you get separated?”

You sniffle, not letting her touch you either.
    > “We were…on our way here by boat, but there was this storm, and…”

You can hear her hum in affirmation.
    > “I woke up on shore, and…now I’m here with all of you.”

“...My, ah… My apologies for…coming off so accusatory, Siffrin,” the Researcher mumbles, looking away from you. “I am not one to jump to immediate trust, and lack of details and answers over the last few days…”

“It only leads to interrogations, right?” the Fighter finishes, and she nods slowly. “I understand, m’dame. I’m sure Siffrin does too.”

You…nod, doing your best to smile. She frowns. You must look tired.
    > “I do, yeah. You don’t need to be sorry, I get it.”

“Siffrin—”

     > “As for how I’m here…I don’t really have an answer for that.”

You look down again.
    > “I just crossed the border, and…nothing happened to me. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t here when…the Curse first started spreading?”

She perks up slightly, and the Housemaiden even turns to her in questionable awe. Guess you said something new. “Wait, where did… Where did you wake up, Siffrin?”

…Stars. What other side borders the ocean?

Think, think, think, you studied this place for blinding years!!
        “The…North border?”
        “The…South border?”
    > “The…East border?”
        “The…West border?”

“So towards Mwudu’s waters?” You…nod. Sure! You have no idea what that is, but sure! All you know is that it was right! Phew. “You’re not from Mwudu, are you?” You shake your head, and the Researcher nods, looking back in her book again. Ah. “Hmm. I don’t believe any of us have gone that direction yet, have we?” She watches the others shake their heads, and she hums to herself again, writing something down. “If I recall correctly, we haven’t seen or heard of any reports of the Curse reaching any towns towards the East yet. So then…I suppose that’s how you know about the border spread.”

You rub your eyes with a nod.
    > “Yeah, that…that’s how. There wasn’t anything wrong besides crossing the border here.”

“...My apologies again for my assumptions, Siffrin.”

You smile a little, waving a hand.
        “Don’t worry about it.”
    > “...Does your research have something to do with interrogations?”

The Fighter gasps, and you can’t help but snort as he turns to the Researcher. “Interrology??”

“Wow. You finally got it. Congrats.”

“Really???”

“No.”

“Aww… You got me excited for a second there, m’dame, how could you trick me like that?”

“Tricking people is part of my research.”

“Really???”

“No.”

You and the Housemaiden fall into a fit of laughter, watching Isabeau’s fa– the Fighter’s face change back and forth between pure excitement and disappointed betrayal again and again.

…You can really make up anything and they’ll believe you just like that.

How strange, to be…trusted so easily. Vaugarde is still so weird.

After a few minutes of casual conversation, night falls over you and the party, and the Housemaiden clears her throat and takes center stage. “Does everyone have food packed away and ready?” Everyone nods one by one, and she lets out a sigh. “Okay, good. As soon as the sun rises…we need to get moving.” She holds one of the Orbs close to her chest. You find yourself staring at it rather than her. “From what we know of madame Odile’s travels, if we step into a town that’s already been frozen for a while, and isn’t a source of the spread…we will not be affected by the Curse. It’s like how the House will work when…when we eventually return there.” She slowly looks at everyone as she continues. You make sure you look up at her as she passes over you. “As long as we avoid any active spreading walls, we…we should be fine.”

Hm. Even if they were to be successful in collecting all the keys and making it back to Dormont in one piece, you were hoping entering the House would make them freeze immediately. It made the most sense to you. But…looks like the Universe has other plans.

That’s fine. You can work with that.

“We just have to make sure we never cross any already frozen paths until we can safely leave the town,” the Fighter adds, watching the others nod again. “Otherwise…”

You tilt your head.
    > “It’s game over?”

“Precisely.” You turn to the Researcher, hiding your smile as you sink into your cloak. Just the answer you were looking for. “I doubt I was wrong in any of my observations here, but if it turns out that this theory is wrong, then…” She looks at the Housemaiden. “Are you sure you feel something up North?”

She nods, holding the Orb a little tighter. “Y-yes. I do. With, uh, with all due respect, madame, um…” She slumps. “If w-we can’t get through one frozen town, then…how do we expect to make it to the King?”

Sounds like your turn.

You look up with a smirk.
    > “You got me too, you know.”

They all turn to you. You wink.
    > “The King’s Curse is nothing. If we need to, you and I can go alone, Mirabelle. We can handle anything.”

She sputters at first. The Fighter beams. “So confident, Siffrin! And you’re right, you and Mira can take down whatever would stand in your way with ease! Right, Mira?”

The Housemaiden seems…embarrassed, holding the small Orb in front of her face as if she was trying to hide. “Th-that–!! Right, that works too!! I guess???”

“I’d rather not separate if it can be helped,” the Researcher comments, looking back in her book again. “But if things take a turn for the worse…I suppose having a back-up plan is never a bad idea.”

Your smile grows.
    > “Whatever it takes.”

Whatever it takes to get this stupid job done.

You watch the Housemaiden tuck away her Orb, and everyone settles in their tents to sleep.

As always, you stay up, silently crawling out of your camp to stand by the now-dead fire. You stare at the Housemaiden’s tent, then the Fighter’s, then the Researcher’s…and you slowly breathe, in and out…

Something goes wrong every single night. Every single attempt. You’re interrupted by Sadnesses, one of them stays awake longer than normal, you step on a leaf or a twig or a stupid blinding patch of grass that always wakes them up, and you have to jump out of sight before they know it’s you… Something always goes wrong. You’re getting sick of it.

But…not this time.

You had grabbed some berries from the last town’s market, learning that, despite their slightly sour taste, they can help improve sleep…and you managed to convince the Fighter to add them to everyone’s dinner. Your portion wasn’t enough to make you tired, but for the others? You made sure they helped themselves to seconds and thirds.

You manage to keep yourself from laughing. It was almost too easy.

With your dagger in hand, you slowly approach the Housemaiden’s tent, silently pulling aside the front tarp to stare at her inside. You can see her moving under her blanket as she breathes in and out, and you end up matching her rhythm, making sure you’re perfectly in sync to remain silent. One step in, and…

You hear something crunch under your boot, and you freeze immediately, holding your breath. You stepped on some sort of jewelry, you think, but you don’t look away from her for even a second to check.

You watch her…and watch her…as she breathes in and out. Still asleep. A smile creeps up on your face, and your shaking hand grips your dagger tighter. Another step, another…and you loom over her, staring her down as you match her breathing.

…This is it. This has to be it.

It’s just like fighting a Sadness. It’s the same thing. It’s…the same thing.

All you have to do…is plunge your dagger into her heart. Make sure it never beats again. That’s it. That’s all you have to do. And then it’ll be over. And then you can go home.

So just…do it. Raise your blade, and end her life. Do it. You don’t have a choice. You have to.

You have to. You have to. It’s all for the best, he said, you have to. You have to. You have to.

So why aren't you moving?

You blink a couple times, realizing that your vision had gotten blurry from incoming tears. You’re not…putting on an act right now, why are you crying? No one is watching you. No one is looking at you. Why are you–

You nearly drop your dagger, barely catching it before it could land on Mirabelle. Land on the Housemaiden. Land on the enemy. Land on the target. Land on

Your hands are shaking. Your head is killing you. You feel like you’re going to fall apart any second.

You’re    dizzy,

you’re so so dizzy you cant focus at all

youre not breathing

you cant breathe she could hear you and wake up and then

you swallow the bile that threatens to leave your throat

and you silently exit the tent

you run into the middle of some nearby woods, and slash at the biggest tree you can find. you cut and cut and cut until your vision is clear of tears. you curse under your breath over and over with every slash, showing no mercy to the bark in front of you.

this should be mirabelle. this should be isabeau. this should be odile.

this should be OVER WITH and DONE. why are you being so PATHETIC.

WHY DO YOU KEEP HESITATING.

. . .

Finally, you breathe in, and out…and stop hitting the poor tree.

You turn and lean your back against the shredded bark, and slide down until you reach the grass. Slowly, you remove your glove, and look at your still-healing hand. You haven’t let the little wounds fully heal since you’ve made them. In those moments, they were simply acts of desperation to stay grounded, stay aware of where you are and what you’re doing…to stay warm, sometimes.

…But lately, it’s been…reminders for yourself.

You bring the edge of your dagger to your palm, and reopen the skin right down the middle, as well as the smaller cut across from it. A nice, big Star… Always there to remind you of him. Always there to remind you of what the Universe wants.

You let out a shaky laugh as blood pools in your palm, and you squeeze your hand shut, letting it drip onto the grass in front of you. Your nails dig into the open wound as you squeeze your grip tighter and tighter. It stings. It hurts. But this is what happens, right? When you hesitate? When you don’t listen? It hurts to hold your dagger now. It hurts when you grip anything nowadays. But the sooner you get the job done, the less it’ll hurt to hold your dagger, and you can finally relax…and let it heal…

You learn the hard way. That’s always how it’s been.

That’s always how he taught you your lessons.

It always hurt. It was never fun. But it made you learn.

How is this any different?

You could even call it a family technique, if it was easy to laugh about.

…Oh, you are laughing, even with more tears making your eyes swell. That’s fine!

You press your gloved hand to your face and laugh, and laugh some more, it’s so funny! You’re so hilariously pathetic, Siffrin, no wonder your act feels like a blinding comedy show!!! You’re the funniest cast member around, Siffrin!! How long will you make yourself keep this up, Siffrin??

How long will you keep lying to yourself???

…Wow, haha, you’re so pathetic, you…almost wish one of them found you out here. Maybe with bandages, or water, or…something to heal your wound and keep you company.

Would any of them even bother…looking for you in the first place?

Stop it. Stop thinking like that. You have a job to do. You have a purpose now.

Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic.

. . .

…you’re so cold…

You…slowly stand up, head towards the closest sound of rushing water, wash your hand at said river…and then return to camp.

None of them are awake. You even checked inside the Housemaiden’s tent again, finding her in the exact same position, breathing in the same exact slow rhythm as before.

You match her breathing, and return to your own tent.

You lay down and enjoy the dark while it lasts, idly pressing your thumb into your palm over and over. You don’t dare sleep. You don’t want to imagine what you could dream about next.

You don’t want to answer that thing’s stupid question again.

…You got a long day ahead of you tomorrow, Siffrin.

Don’t mess this up again.

You can’t let him down.

Chapter Text

You’re the first up. You almost always are. It’s easy to be the first one awake when you don’t sleep, but even on nights that you do, you’re usually the first out of your tent. Usually you’d try to make food for everyone, or at least make sure some leftovers are ready, but…everyone had already prepared food for the walk today.

So, instead, you quietly pack up your part of camp, letting the others catch a few more minutes of sleep as the sun rises. You pick up your belongings, letting the weight linger in your palm for a little longer than you intended, before throwing it over your shoulder to get ready.

…Ah, some of the embers are still burning in the firepit. You should make sure the fire is completely dead before you leave.

You carefully bring yourself to the ground by the lingering smoke, picking up some stones from around the firepit and stacking them around the embers. You hear movement behind you, but you don’t bother to turn, the sound of the Fighter’s footsteps being something you can recognize from a mile away.

He comes into view, and you look up at him, being greeted by that big smile as always.

And then…he speaks.

“Morning, Sif!”

…your…mouth goes dry.

You stare up at him, blinking a couple times.

And…you feel a big, natural smile grow on your face.

He stares back at you, and you notice his cheeks become a slightly darker shade as you laugh. You’re giggling over this! What’s wrong with you?? But you just- your chest feels so bubbly, you feel so light, so…warm, even over something stupid like a nickname.

His smile turns shy, and he joins in your laughter, one hand reaching over and holding onto his sleeve. “W-what, like the nickname? Siffrin just felt like a mouthful sometimes, y-you know? Thought, uh, Sif would work!”

You’re still giggling. You can’t help it at this point.
    > “Good morning to you too, Isa.”

He freezes up almost immediately, his eyes wide and his smile so, so small. You snort under your breath, covering your mouth with your hand as you turn away to giggle. “Isa!! Yup!! That’s me!!! N-now we’re nickname buddies!!” You turn back to him and look at his nervous smile. His face is dark…you smile, doing your best to replicate that same sweetness he always shows you. He stutters for a second before clearing his throat. “W-woah–” He clears his throat again, even louder this time. You can see the Researcher peek out of her tent and stare at him. Guess somebody woke her up. “Okay!!! I’m!!! I’m gonna go put my tent away now!! Good morning! Morning morning morning morning morning–”

He’s actively walking away as he repeats himself over and over again. What a funny guy!

…Are you still smiling? Huh.

You reach up and rub at your cheeks to relax yourself, turning again as you hear the Researcher approach. “Besides Isabeau’s volume waking me up…I’d say that’s the best sleep I’ve gotten in quite a long time now.”

You smile with a nod.
    > “Same for me!”

She…looks at you for a long time, and you try not to swallow. “Glad to hear it, Siffrin.” She looks over her shoulder, and you follow her stare towards the Housemaiden’s tent. “Now…seeing as you’re the first person finished up with packing, would you mind waking Mirabelle?” She turns back to you, and you nod. “I’m surprised she’s not the first person up this morning.”

You shrug.
    > “I guess everyone slept well last night.”

“Seems so.” With a yawn and a slow stretch, she turns towards her own part of camp. “Thank you, Siffrin. Now if you’ll excuse me.”

You don’t get an opportunity to do any excusing before she walks away, joining Isa’s– the Fighter’s frantic packing.

…Stars, you really need to stop thinking about their names. These aren’t your friends. They’ll never be your friends. And yet here you are, throwing a nickname around for the biggest rock in your path…quite literally, in a way. ‘Isa’? Really?

You let out a slow sigh, and drag your hands down your face. Whatever… Time to wake up the Housemaiden. Making sure all of the embers are covered, you push yourself to your feet, and walk to the Housemaiden’s tent.

…And then you stare for a while. Your mind races to last night, and you force your hand to hold the strap of your bag of belongings rather than your dagger. You can feel your hold pulling at the wound on your hand from under your glove. Stings… But it’s enough of a distraction for you to step forward, and pull back the front tarp.

The Housemaiden is…still passed out asleep, one leg sticking out from her blanket, her mouth wide open in a quiet snore, looking like…a complete mess. Her body is twisted in such a way that you cannot even begin to imagine how she could possibly be comfortable.

. . .

Suddenly, all of your nerves from last night…when you were looming over her with a shaking dagger, moments away from striking…vanish in an instant.

And you…snort, a little too loudly, and you turn your head to laugh. The Fighter notices you again, and stares for a little bit before the Researcher nudges him in your direction. You smile and wave him over, and he joins your side to peek in the tent. He joins in with your laughter, and slowly, the Housemaiden starts to stir. She wipes her mouth of drool, blinking slowly as she sits up and…notices you two staring at her. “WAH!!” With a swift kick, she hits the stick in the center of her tent keeping it up, and it falls on all three of you. You and the Fighter stumble forward, more thrown off by the movement rather than the tent’s weight, and the Housemaiden scrambles up to stand and kicks the loose tarp over you and the Fighter.

You hear him laugh more, and you can’t help but keep up your own, the both of you throwing your hands around wildly to attempt to escape the tent. Being the fastest, you manage to see the light, and you narrowly escape and bring yourself back up to your feet. “Siiiif!” Isa calls, and you make sure to laugh louder. “Help meee!!”

“That’s what you get!!!”

The Researcher raises her hand in silence, and without even looking, the Housemaiden reaches behind her and smacks their hands together in a high-five. The Researcher smirks. “You tell them, Mirabelle. They should know better than to interrupt your beauty sleep.”

“Exactly!! They should!!!”

“May you be cursed with falling tents for the rest of your lives.”

“WHAT SHE— oh Change, wait, maybe wait until after we beat the King?” The Researcher’s smirk falls as she slowly turns to the Housemaiden. “We need all the rest we can get! I-I wouldn’t want to— wait how long has the SUN BEEN UP???”

Finally, the Fighter pops out of the tent, taking in a big breath like he had been underwater the whole time. You laugh again, and he smiles nervously, looking towards the Housemaiden. “Uh, not that long? M’dame Odile and I just—”

“We needed to leave A WHILE AGO!!!” She quickly turns to start packing her stuff. “Siffrin!! Did you let me sleep in again, you crab!!!”

You snort, raising your hands up.
    > “Guilty as charged, Mira.”

“Aww, stealing my nickname now?” the Fighter playfully whines. “What else are you going to steal next?” You grin with a wink, getting a joke ready. But before you can answer, he suddenly coughs very, very loudly, his smile wider than ever. “NEVERMIND! ACTUALLY! L-let’s get ready to go, Sif!!”

You smile and nod, watching him and the Housemaiden finish up their packing.

…You pinch yourself under your cloak. Enough of the nicknames. You didn’t even mean to say that, why did you say that?? Stop acting like these are your friends. You can’t be friends. You can’t. It’ll only make your job harder. And it’s already more difficult than you were expecting it to be.

As far as they need to know, you are just an ally. You are just a traveler. You are just a nobody looking for his father.

Nothing more.

. . .

The Researcher had joined your side at some point. She nudges you, making you flinch and turn to her. She stares for a second, but is quick to relax her arm. “My apologies. I didn’t mean to startle you. You just seemed…a little lost in thought. Are you feeling alright?”

You smile.
    > “Never felt better!”

“Are you sure? If you did not get enough rest, I’m sure Isabeau wouldn’t mind carrying you,” she laughs quietly.

You don’t laugh.
    > “I’m fine, Odile. Thank you.”

“...If you say so, Siffrin.”

She doesn't speak again.

She doesn’t speak to you as you all start to walk, either.

None of them do. You just listen to the side as their conversations remain between the three of them. You've always been fine with just listening, considering Nadine liked to talk a lot, so this is no different. The less you have to talk, the better.

Even if this time you're not really listening. They could be going over battle strategies, future plans and paths to take- they could be talking about you and you would have no idea, nor would you care.

It’s all meaningless to you.

Your mind goes numb as you zone out, but you manage to stop yourself from walking right into the Fighter as he stops. You slowly regain your focus, and…ah, you’re here.

You’re…closer to home than ever.

“Okay, this is it,” the Housemaiden huffs, staring up at the frozen town. The lightless appearance of his Craft is just at the edge of the stone grounds, almost like the town was sealed in a bubble. A perfect, protected…frozen bubble. “I can feel it just a bit further North…I think it’s right by Vaugarde’s border.”

“So we’ll be taking a beach trip?” the Fighter laughs. “Count me in!”

“Don’t get your hopes up,” the Researcher sighs. “Even if we had time for a vacation, I don’t think a frozen beach is going to be fun for any of us.”

They all keep talking. You just keep staring.

You can see their shop from here.

Slowly, you step forward towards the edge of the frozen town…

“And then we’ll– S-Siffrin?”

…and cross the threshold.

Your heel clicks against the frozen stone, and you click, click, click with each step as you turn around…and face the party. They all stare at you with wide eyes, and…you smile.

…it’s cold…

You wave at them.
    > “Come on in! The water’s fine!”

“Siffrin!! Don’t just—!!!”

You start to slowly walk backwards.
    > “I’m going into deeper waters, Mira.”

“SIFFRIN!!!”

You snicker.
    > “I’m going into the ocean, Mira…I’m going to drown…who will follow me and save me…”

“I-I will! I’ll save you, Sif!”

You stop, a shout for him to wait almost leaving your throat as he runs onto the frozen ground–

     > “Isa!!”

–You hold your breath.

…and…nothing happens.

He stumbles forward, catching his balance at the last second and standing up straight again, holding his arms out to the side to keep himself steady. “Woah!! Uh, I’m okay! I’m…okay.” He looks back and forth a couple times, reaching up and patting his cheeks before spinning in a circle, checking himself up and down. Still…moving.

…Why did you feel so scared when you yelled for him?

You breathe out.

He’s still moving. The Researcher’s theory was– “You were right, m’dame Odile!” the Fighter cheers, letting out a hearty laugh. “I’m okay! I'm still on the move!”

“...Fascinating.” Slowly, she moves forward as well, stepping onto the frozen stone of the town. Again, nothing happens, and she smiles a little. “...So very fascinating.”

“Oh thank Change,” the Housemaiden mumbles, her hands together and close to her face, like she was just a moment away from praying. “I don’t know how we would’ve gotten inside the House if this didn’t work!”

You try to laugh, but it comes out more like a forced exhale.
    > “Ready to go?”

After a deep breath, despite being the one who knows nothing will happen to her, the Housemaiden steps into the town, and leads the way once again.

Your steps become slower and slower as you look around, seeing the same faces, the same shops, the same frozen scenes that you saw the day you left. The same half-way steps of those just enjoying their morning walk, the same silent conversations that have yet to go on, the same words of the same open pages of the same books being read by the same people…the same children playing by the same flower stand, with the same petals that will never fall all around them…

You end up in the back of the party, and…you stop, staring at your reflection in the window of their shop. The sounds of their footsteps get quieter and quieter as they keep walking, creating more and more distance between you…until you’re left behind in the haunting silence.

Your hand slowly reaches forward, and you brush your fingertips along the glass as you walk, stopping once more in front of the door. The ‘closed’ sign is still up, with that same note from Nadine taped to the door just below it.

I will be out of town for a few days! If you need me for anything, send a letter to Dormont!

…So much for a few days.

You feel so cold. But you don’t move, finding it impossible to look away.

You still can’t believe it’s been months. It hasn’t felt that long to you. You swear only yesterday you were kicking down this door in a panic, desperately pleading for Nadine to fix your hair. You swear only yesterday you were being offered slices of apple, peach, and pineapple, and you made a terrible joke about fruit pits that they didn’t laugh at. You swear only yesterday you were making up a story about being grounded, not wanting them to be upset over having to redo the beautiful work they did to your hair. You swear only yesterday you were offered…a place to stay, and…

…you had…quite the conversation…or something…?

. . .

Your…head hurts,

Did any of that ever happen? It’s so clear to you, but…no, that never happened, you remember the King was with you. He chose a name. He helped you…remember your roots…

Because you changed when you weren’t supposed to. Because you were selfish. Because you ruined something so special to your country. Because you let him down. He said so.

No, no he didn’t, he never said that. He would never think that. He told you himself. He just wanted you to live to your full potential, that’s all. Because cutting away your ties to home is unacceptable. He said so.

No, stop it, he would never say that. You’re being too harsh on yourself. He always got on you about that. And clearly it was for good reason.

. . .

…Did he…actually say those things?

“Siffrin?”

You flinch harshly as a hand touches your shoulder, and you turn so quickly you almost trip over yourself. Your breathing picked up in an instant. Your hand shakes as it grips your dagger… When did you take that out?

The Researcher slowly lowers her raised hands, speaking quietly. “...My apologies. Hands to myself. Relax, Siffrin.” You…try to relax, taking in a slow, silent breath as you lower your dagger. Your grip is still tight enough to make your hand shake, and you can feel a sharp, stinging pain in your palm from the pressure…but you don’t relax.

She’s still staring at you. Say something, anything.
    > Sorry, um,

No, don’t apologize. Something else.

You try to smile.
    > “You scared meeee! Ahaha…”

She hums, finally lowering her hands to her sides again. “Yes, I’ve…gathered that.” She looks towards Nadine’s shop, then back to you. “Is there…something special about this place, Siffrin?”

You force yourself to smile a little more.
    > “Just checking on my roots, haha!”

She raises a brow, but then takes another look at the shop. “Oh, it’s– oh, this is about your hair.” She lets out a sigh and pinches the bridge of her nose. “And here I thought you were worried about something important. But all you were worried about was how your hair looks growing back darkless.”

You let out a small laugh.
    > “Hey, my hair is important. It’s an important part of my… hair -itage.”

“Yeah sure, shut up,” she mutters, letting out an even bigger sigh as you laugh again. “Save your puns for Isabeau. Those don’t work on me.”

You smirk.
    > “You mean I should… shave them for later?”

“Siffrin.”

     > “Alright alright, I’ll cut it out, just for you–”

“Siffrin.”

You fall into a fit of laughter as she turns with an irritated groan, and you follow behind her to catch up with the rest of the party. Before either of them can speak, the Researcher just keeps walking. “If I have to hear any more of their puns right now, I will start to refer to it as some sort of personal torture method.”

“M-madame??”

“Let’s just get moving, Mirabelle. Please.”

“AH um!!! Yes madame!!”

Finally, after wandering aimlessly for a while, the Housemaiden finally leads everyone to the other end of town…and you stare at the frozen dirt path before you.

You breathe in, and out.

“It’s down this way…it has to be.”

No one protests. No one else speaks. You all just follow behind Mirabelle, and you do your best to put one foot in front of the other as you feel more and more dizzy. You can hear the ocean so clearly with everything else being so still and silent. It’s making your stomach hurt. You want to turn back around and leave, but at the same time your legs are begging you to move faster towards the water, take your boat with the broken oar, and try to find home again.

But you don’t let them move off of the path. You just follow the others in silence, zoning out through their random conversations.

And then…you see it.

“It's… It’s inside that cabin. I can feel it.”

“This must be where it all started,” the Fighter wonders aloud, looking your old home up and down. “Gotta say, it seems like a nice little place! Pretty cozy.”

“If you're a fan of being in the middle of nowhere, then sure,” the Researcher comments, looking at your old home's surroundings instead. “Right by the ocean… The constant sound of the waves would keep me up all night. No thank you.”

You always thought it sounded nice…
    > “A-are, uh, are we sure it’s in there? Seems pretty normal to me, haha.”

“Yes, I’m sure.” Mi– The Housemaiden sighs and suddenly looks…sad. “Whoever lived here…oh Change, they were probably terrified! The Curse started right here! Why here, I- I don’t know, but– maybe they’re still inside…just frozen like the rest of that town.”

“I almost feel bad for intruding, but…” The Fighter is the first to step forward. You feel your body tense up in an instant. You wait for that familiar creak of the front porch steps…but they don’t make a sound, their frozen state only adding more to the silence. You shiver. “I’m sure they won’t mind considering it’ll help us save Vaugarde.”

“Ah yes, the perfect justification for breaking into someone’s house.”

“Am I wrong, m’dame?” he laughs nervously, holding his hand out for the Housemaiden to take. “Right this way, Mira.” He smiles at her as she giggles, setting her hand in his and letting him pull her up the front steps. The Researcher follows, and…you watch, unable to move. Your ankles feel like they’re wrapped in weights, and you’re chained down to your exact spot in the dirt path. You’re home again…you’re home, you should be happy, you should be letting the lighter feeling of nostalgia bring you forward into your childhood home, you should be excited to be back here.

…but you only feel…more and more cold…the longer you stare forward…

“Sif? Are you coming in?”

You perk up, and smile.
    > “Right behind you!”

You breathe in, and out…drag your invisible weights up the porch steps…
and place your hand on the freezing cold doorknob.

Chapter Text

You place your hand on the freezing cold doorknob, and push open the door.

You hold your breath as you walk inside, immediately starting to walk towards the hallway. Would it be obvious that it’s your room at the end of the hall? You have to make sure there’s nothing inside that would give it away. They can’t know. They can’t.

But before you can walk too far, the rest of the party starts to wander around, and you do your best to hold in your sigh as you stop moving. Can’t separate from them again…that’d only make matters worse for you. You have a feeling the Researcher already has her eyes on you. You can’t risk anything.

“Aww, look! I told you it was cozy!” the Fighter starts, gesturing towards the living room. You stand by the entrance to the kitchen as you watch them walk around. “Such a big couch. I think I’d fall right back asleep if I had my breakfast here every morning!”

“And what a lovely view of the beach!” The Housemaiden moves around the couch and over towards the window across from it. “This is actually my first time seeing the ocean…”

“Is it everything you could ever dream of?” the Researcher asks, looking over your old study desk in the corner.

“It’s, uh…okay, I guess? If it were under different circumstances, I’d be more excited,” she giggles nervously.

“Hm. Noted.” You stare at the Researcher as she starts to look over your old books. She picks up one still filled with notes being used as bookmarks, and she starts to flip through it. “Lots of information about Vaugardian customs and history… Whoever lived here must’ve not been from around here.” Her thumb catches one of the papers sticking out, and she opens to the marked page, and…she squints. “What the…”

“What’s up, m’dame?”

“These notes, I–” She lets out a quiet sigh as she closes the book, holding her head. “Gems alive.”

“M-madame?? Are you okay?”

She waves a hand as the two approach her. You stay put. “Yes, I’m fine, just…got a sudden headache.”

“M’dame Odile getting a headache from books? That’s a new one.”

“Not the book itself, Isabeau, it’s– Here, why don’t you take a look?”

She turns the book and hands it to the Fighter, and you watch him look through a few pages. “Seems fine to me? I don’t know what you’re–” His head turns as he looks at your page of notes, and he trails off. “Oooow ow ow owie… Okay, I see what you mean now. Trying to read that is giving me a headache too.”

“Can I try?”

“No,” they both respond at once, making the Housemaiden squeak.

You can’t help but snort.
    > “Maybe that’s our sign to leave the books alone.”

“But doesn’t that make you curious?” the Fighter asks, turning to you as he closes the book. You instinctively smile as he looks at you. “Handwritten notes that instantly give you a headache… Maybe it’s some kind of Craft!”

“Doubtful.”

“Maybe it’s the language of…headaches, if they could talk.”

“More doubtful.”

“Or maybe…it’s a CLUE!”

“Even more doubtful,” the Researcher sighs, taking the book away from him and bringing it back to your desk. “Regardless, we don’t have time to figure it out. If we tried to learn a language we clearly don’t know, we’d be here for years.” Yeah, you’d know a thing or two about that. “All we can gather so far is that whoever lived here must’ve been from outside of Vaugarde.”

“Maybe… There is a boat over at the beach,” the Housemaiden points. “I could see it from the window.”

“Or maybe they were just homeschooled, and it’s just that bad of handwriting,” the Fighter laughs. You can’t help but glare at him. You have very nice handwriting! “But m’dame Odile is right. We shouldn’t waste any more time trying to solve this. Let’s get that Orb!”

“Now that we’re inside, I…can’t really tell where the feeling is coming from. We’ll have to look around.”

“Leading us here was already more than enough, Mirabelle, don’t stress over it. We wouldn’t have known where to go without you.”

“Kitchen tiiiime!”

You stay put as the Fighter and Researcher pass you, wandering into the kitchen behind you. The Housemaiden stays in the living room to look around some more, and eventually stops in front of your desk as well. You step closer to her.

You smile.
    > “Are you trying to peek at the headache papers?”

“Huh? N-no! I was just…admiring this desk. It’s a very nice desk. With very nice books.” You raise a brow at her, and she huffs. “Okay, fine. Yes. I want to see the headache papers. Maybe I can read it.”

She can’t.
    > “Worth a try!”

She…turns her back on you…and starts to flip through one of the books. She opens to a few different pages of your notes, seemingly trying to see if she could recognize anything in your scribbles. With a glance over your shoulder…you confirm that you’re alone, and you silently grab your dagger.

They wouldn’t know where to go without her. The Researcher said so herself. Even with this third Orb, they wouldn’t know where to find the next one…if Mirabelle wasn’t around.

You stare at the Housemaiden’s back as she flip, flip, flips through more and more of your studies. She’s so focused. She’s so…vulnerable. This should be easy.

Slowly, so agonizingly slowly, you start to raise your arm, squeezing the handle of your dagger.

You breathe in, and-

strike–

THUD.

“OW??”

–an awkward pose to hide your dagger behind your back as she turns towards the kitchen. “Isabeau?? Are you okay??”

“Yyyyup! All good!” he calls back from the kitchen. “Ow…………”

The Researcher peeks around the corner. You quickly shift in your spot to face her, keeping your weapon behind you. “He decided to search under the dining table, and he hit his head from trying to stand up too early. We may have to leave him behind, Mirabelle.”

The Housemaiden giggles, shaking her head. “Noooo, not like this! Our great Defender Isabeau, defeated by a table…what a tragic ending!”

“H-hey! Stop acting like I’m dead!”

“Sometimes I can still hear his voice…”

“M’dame, please!”

You force out a laugh as you watch the Housemaiden walk away towards the others, and you slowly…so agonizingly slowly…hide your dagger back under your cloak. You press your thumb into your palm, letting it sting, sting, sting… Another failure. If this is what the Universe wants, you’d really like for It to make things at least a little easier for you!

…you breathe out.

Finally, you take your turn to look at your papers as well, reaching down to close the book.

But…as you stare at your notes, your studies, your writing…your native tongue…
…your…head starts to hurt.

Your body turns to fully face the desk without a second thought, and you start flipping through the different marked pages like your life depends on it. You can read the Vaugardian text just fine. Every word- well, almost every word- is clear as day to you. You’ve read these books dozens of times from front to back. Of course it’s clear to you.

But your own notes…every word you wrote, every word you crossed out and redid, every sentence, every paragraph…every time you try to read your work, you can’t.

You just…get a headache. A horrible, nauseating headache.

You can’t read…your native language.

You don’t know your language.

…How long…have your own thoughts been in nothing but Vaugardian?

With a shaky exhale, you slam the book shut, and push it into the corner of the desk with a few of the other books. Some fall to the ground and open, but you just kick them away before you even have a chance to look at the words.

You’ve forgotten. You’ve forgotten. You were his only hope in bringing you both home, and now you can’t even speak the words of your country?? You already felt like a failure with how long it’s been taking you to get one simple job done, but even if you succeed, what will you celebrate? What will you return to?

Disappointment. That’s all he’ll see you as. You’ll be nothing but a disappointment.

You’re ruining his wish.
…your wish. You’re ruining your…shared wish.

. . .

You feel like you’re freezing.

You slowly regain control of your breathing…and you grab a few random pages of your studies, slipping them out of the books and stuffing them in one of your pockets. You need to study again. You can try to read these while everyone else sleeps. You can try to…remember.

Hopefully it won’t take you another several years to learn your own blinding language.

With a smile on your face, you turn away from the desk and finally return to the party, watching them search in each and every cabinet of your old kitchen. “Isabeau insisted on checking everywhere,” the Researcher states, not looking up from her own book as you walk in. “And he meant everywhere.”

“I don’t…I don’t think the Orb would be small enough to fit in a silverware drawer.”

“We don’t know for sure, Mira! I just wanna make sure!”

…Well at least they seem distracted.

“I’m just going to check more of the cabin. You have fun, Isabeau.”

Wuh-oh! Not distracted enough!

You lean your hand (ow) against the wall as the Housemaiden turns to leave, and you let out a laugh.
    > “H-hold on, hold on, uh… Maybe you should stay here. And…I can go look.”

She blinks a couple times, tilting her head. “And…why is that, Siffrin?”

You try to smile. You can see the Researcher looking at you.

“Because…uh…
        …I don’t want you to go back there.”
        …I know you won’t find anything.”
    > …you’d be going in more than one room!!”

She…blinks again. Your smile grows.
    > “It would go against Vaugardian customs!! Going farther than the first room in someone else’s house is very rude!”

. . .

Everyone is silent. Did you misremember that??

“You can’t be serious—”

The Housemaiden suddenly giggles, interrupting the Researcher’s thoughts. “I’m surprised you know that, Siffrin!” Phew. “Did you try to peek at those papers too and ended up reading the book instead?”

You force yourself to laugh, nodding your head.
    > “Couldn’t resist! The page that you left open was all about visiting other people’s homes. Figured I’d skim through it if I’m gonna be here for a while!”

“Aww, hehehe! How sweet of you, Siffrin!” Her eyes are bright and full of excitement. You feel your smile relax into something a little more natural. “If you want to learn anything about the Change belief while you’re here, feel free to ask me anything!! I’d be delighted to teach you all about it!”

…You would’ve liked that a few years ago.

But not now. Not anymore.
    > “I’ll let you know, haha.”

“Isn’t that custom a little too late to worry about now?” the Researcher asks. “We’ve already been in two rooms. The living area, and the kitchen.”

But the Housemaiden confidently shakes her head. “Oh no, madame, this is still one room. There’s no door, see?” She smiles and gestures towards the entryway you’re standing in, and you show off your best grin. “It’s a living kitchen!”

The Researcher only stares, looking more unamused by the second. “Please refrain from implying that this kitchen is alive.”

You clear your throat.
    > “A-anyway, uh…I’ll head further in. Wouldn’t want you to break such an important custom when, uh…I don’t have to really worry about that yet. Since I. Just got here. To Vaugarde.”

You’re nailing this.

The Housemaiden giggles. “Well alright, if you insist… I’ll stay here with Isabeau.” She looks over her shoulder again. “Do you want to go with them, madame?”

“No.”

“......Well okay!” She smiles nervously as she looks at you one more time, and you can’t help but chuckle. “Good luck, Siffrin! Bring us an Orb!”

You give her a thumbs-up, and way faster than you intended, you turn on your heel and head down the hallway.

…One look behind you, and you exhale.

You’re out of sight.

You slow your steps as you look along the walls. This is why you wanted to go back here alone. The King had received a gift several years ago from what he called ‘an old friend’ from Dormont’s House. It was a very small, pocket-sized mirror, and it had been Crafted with the ability to take pictures of its reflection. You’re in many of these pictures. Too many for your liking.

So, silently, you start flipping over any photos hanging on the wall. Photos of you, photos of him, even photos of the ocean or the fields or the town…anything and everything that’s a sign of life.

You stop in front of one near the end of the hall. Your second official birthday, where he deemed you as an adult. Your lightless hair is so clashing compared to the previous photos you flipped. His arm is around you. You’re smiling. You’re…smiling.

…It looks so forced.

You turn the photo and slam it into the wall, letting the glass of the frame shatter and fall to the ground. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. You just need to get the stupid blinding Orb and get this job done and over with.

You open the bathroom door. Nothing. You open the two storage closets. Nothing. You reach for the King’s bedroom door, and…it’s locked. Locked? Since when could it lock? You huff in frustration and move on, finally heading into your own bedroom.

You carefully push open the door, and…take a deep breath.

It’s just how you left it. Your wooden carvings are still set nicely at your whittling station, your mirror is still propped up against the wall on top of your dresser, and the little Change God figurine…is still on your pillow, and is still…perfectly intact. Huh…?

And right in front of Them…is a small, lightless sphere, just ever so slightly bigger compared to Them.

Slowly, you approach your old bed, and…you pick up the Change God figurine. How is it not broken? Every Change God statue, big or small, falls apart once the area it’s in freezes in time. How is this one different? You brush your thumb against Their blank face. You’re suddenly finding it hard to recall if it ever had an expression when you were growing up.

Your gaze slowly moves to the Orb on your bed instead, and you slowly exhale through your nose. Why would he send it here? Or…did he pick their locations in the first place? Was it random? No, it couldn’t have been random, cause…why here?

Carefully, like you were touching something fragile, you pick up the Orb in your free hand. It’s freezing cold to the touch, but you’re used to it at this point. You could hide it. You could try to break it. You could try all sorts of different things to make sure they never get their hands on this… But you know that won’t work. The Housemaiden can feel these things, or something. It can’t ever be that easy for you. You’ll just have to delay them finding the others, or…

With a sigh, you set the Change God figurine back on your pillow, and start to turn around. You hear a small crack behind you, and you quickly turn back, looking at…the destroyed figurine. Ah. Was it…the Orb? Was this last connection to the House enough to keep it intact?

You take a closer look at Their broken face.

They were…smiling.

. . .

You’re shivering.

You don’t want to think about this anymore.

You brush the broken pieces onto the floor, and push your wood carvings into a random drawer of your dresser. You ended up breaking the thinner one in the process, but…it’s fine.

You can’t remember what that thing is called anyway. It’s not important.

Being so close to your dresser, you catch sight of your reflection in the mirror sitting on top, and you can’t stop yourself from staring for a while.

It’s…you.

You brush your free hand through your mixed-shaded hair, readjusting your hat and doing your best to smile. You look tired. Even you can admit that. But soon enough, this’ll be over, one way or another. And that’s all you can hope for.

…As long as you do what’s right, you’re fine. As long as you do what he wants- what the Universe wants, you’re fine. You’re…fine.

It’s all for the best, little prince. You’re fine.

You’re fine.

. . .

You breathe in, and out.

And you make your way out of your room, returning to the party.

     > “I found it!”

You call with a bright smile, turning around the corner of the hallway and making it back to the kitchen.
    > “It was aaaaall the way in the back, but I got the Orb! Where do we—”

They all turn to you at the same time, and you freeze up, holding the Orb a bit tighter in your hands. Their eyes are all wide, their expressions surprised and shocked.

The Housemaiden…is holding a torn photo of you, your smile young and bright, just like your hair…

…and you are…holding the King’s hand.

    > “...go…next?”

Chapter Text

The Housemaiden…is holding a torn photo of you, your smile young and bright, just like your hair…

…and you are…holding the King’s hand.

The King who– thank the Stars– is not shown in the photo. It’s…it’s just…his hand.

Still, you can’t help but hold your breath. You’re not in the clear yet.
    > “...go…next?”

“Sif!! We found this on the floor by the pantry!” the Fighter exclaims loudly, taking the photo from the Housemaiden and looking at it again. He’s got this big smile on his face. “This is you, isn’t it?? You look so little!”

“Somehow even more little than you are now,” the Researcher mutters with a small grin, and you squint, blowing a raspberry at her.

“And look at your smile!!” the Housemaiden giggles, taking the photo again to look at it. The Fighter had turned to her so, so sadly. What’s up with him? “You were such a cute kid, Siffrin! I just wanna pinch your cheeks!!!”

You feel your cheeks get really warm. You carefully hold the Orb in one hand and use the other to pull down your hat, hiding your face underneath it. You hear Mira g– the Housemaiden giggle louder, the Fighter joining her albeit a little bashfully.

Finally, the giggles stop, and you can only assume the Researcher took the photo. “Aside from how young and happy you look in this, and ignoring my own curiosity on where the years went for you–” You peek from your hat to playfully glare at her. You just barely catch that teasing look in her eyes before it fades. “–I have to wonder…where did this come from, Siffrin?” You let go of your hat and try to relax, your mind already racing with ideas. Just have to…pick one. “You don’t seem the type to carry around a photo of yourself. You’re not that much of a narcissist behind all that big talk and cockiness.”

You smile and let out a quick exhale, doing your best to make it some sort of…half-laugh.

You almost want to try and joke about that. Yes, actually, that photo fell out of my heart-shaped locket that I carry with me everywhere I go, in hopes that one day I’ll find my clone…

HA! Nah, if you saw a clone of yourself, you’d blinding despise them. You know that for sure.

…Actually, that’s kind of weird to think about. Nevermind.

You let your smile fall after a moment, your playful expression now…sad, nervous.
    > “...No, that…that’s not mine.”

Suddenly, the giddiness of the Fighter and Housemaiden vanishes, and they look concerned.

You look down, holding the Orb tightly.
    > “My…my dad carries that with him everywhere…”

You watch the Fighter and Housemaiden look at your photo again, then at each other, then the photo, then each other… You manage to hold in your laughter from the back and forth, keeping up your distraught act. “Oh Change…”

“W-wait, Sif, that means…!!”

“That means your dad might have been here??”

You nod, your body shaking slightly.
    > “But why would that be here then? O-on…on the floor, of all places…”

You squeeze your eyes shut.
    > “What if… What if that means he’s…”

“I doubt it,” the…Researcher starts, to your surprise, and you look up at her with big eyes. She tilts her head with a little smile. “If your father is anything like you…I’m sure he’s just fine. He raised a tough kid, I can’t imagine him being any different.”

You blink a few times, ridding your eyes of fake tears before you can even attempt to have them fall. She thinks…you’re tough?

Stop that. Don’t think about it. Stay in character.

You swallow and shake your head.
    > “B-but what if—”

“Stop iiiiit,” the Housemaiden steps in with a giggle, her smile just as sweet and gentle as always. “Don’t lose hope so easily, Siffrin. I’m sure he just needed a spot to rest, and then was rushing off again to go find you.”

“Mira’s right!” the Fighter adds, stepping closer to you with a confident grin. Oh, you feel…warm. Huh? “If it were me just washing up on shore, I would’ve tried to grab the first food I saw too! It’s, uh, all frozen now, and there’s not much in there to begin with, but…that’s probably what led to a quick turn around and this picture getting dropped! Anything is easy to lose when you’re in a hurry.”

. . .

They’re all…so nice.

Why are they all so nice?

Your head hurts.
    > ...You're wasting your kindness on me.

No. You can’t ruin this any more than you already have.

You’re already going to let him down. Don’t make it even worse for yourself by telling them the truth.

Try again.
    > “...If you’re all so sure…”

“Would you like to hold onto this, Siffrin?” the Researcher asks, offering you the photo. You blink again. “You seem to have many, many pockets at your disposal, and this technically belongs to you already, so…” You nod, taking the picture and tucking it under your cloak. “Hopefully, either on our way to or after the King…we’ll be able to return that photo to your father.”

“And return you to him! As a bonus!” the Fighter laughs.

…You…smile, and nod your head.

Back to him…where you belong. Yeah, that sounds good.

Sounds…cold,

“But enough about baby Siffrin!!” the Housemaiden starts, her eyes practically sparkling as she looks at the Orb in your hands. Ah, right. The whole point of being here. “You found the Orb!!! Ohh thank you thank you thank you, Siffrin!!”

“Good job, Sif! Way to go, Sif!”

“We couldn’t have done it without you, Siffrin!”

Okay, now you just feel patronized. You start to pull down your hat again.

“Woohoo. You went down a hallway and into another room. What a difficult task.”

You snort, letting go of your hat as you look at the Researcher.
    > “Hey, I didn’t see you trying, Odile.”

You smirk.
    > “You have no room to talk.”

As expected, the Fighter bursts into laughter, and the Housemaiden covers her mouth and tries to hide her smile. The Researcher groans, turning away from all of you. “That wasn’t even clever.”

You snicker.
    > “Wow, Odile, that’s one hall of a face you’re making.”

“Stop. Stop that right now,” she mutters, only growing more annoyed as the Fighter laughs again. “Mirabelle, must we bring him with us? This is torture.”

“Don’t be mean, madame…!”

You let out a quiet chuckle, tucking your Orb under your cloak.
    > “Okay, let’s not waste any more time.”

You watch the Housemaiden nod, and you smile at her.
    > “Do you have any idea where we need to go next, Mira?”

Her smile falls a little. “Um…maybe. I think getting out of the frozen area will help me with directions.”

“Let’s head out then!”

You both nod at the Fighter as you follow the Researcher outside.

As soon as you step outside, you…stop, looking over towards your boat on the beach. The others step off the front porch one by one, before the Fighter turns to check on you. “You okay, Sif?”

You…nod, not looking away from the water.
    > “Yeah, I’m just…I’m worried about my dad.”

You grip your blanket under your cloak.
     > “...I’m worried we’ll…never make it back home together.”

He makes an unsure sound, walking back to the porch and taking one step up, stopping to look up at you. You blink a couple times, finally turning to him. “Hey, he’ll be alright. We’ll make sure you two have the best reunion ever. Even if it’s after we defeat the King.” Slowly, he holds his hand out to you, his smile so…soft. You feel warm again. “The sooner we go, the sooner we’ll find him.”

You…smile. How sweet…

It makes your stomach hurt.
    > “You’re right!”

You walk by him, and step onto the frozen dirt path. He seems surprised you didn’t take his hand, looking at you with a bit of sadness in his eyes.

You smile more.
    > “Thanks, Isa! Let’s get going!”

You don’t give him a chance to respond, turning your back on him and following behind the other two. You can hear him sigh behind you.

He sounds upset. But it’s fine. It doesn’t matter.

You just don’t want him to waste his kindness on you.

“We need to head…East, I think,” the Housemaiden says, stepping to the edge of the town’s frozen grounds. “We’ll have to move quickly. The Curse has probably reached around the entirety of Vaugarde at this point…it’s only going to creep closer to its center faster and faster now.”

You smile, and snap your fingers. Everyone turns to look at you, feeling a sudden lightness in their feet from your Craft.

And you smirk.

     > “Let’s make up the time, then.”

Chapter Text

you hear a voice.

it whispers something.

it’s a question.

Do you remember?

you breathe in, and out.

a hand reaches down from the void of the sky,

and

                                 you speak.

           try again.

    What if I don’t want to?

       there’s
                                            silence.

               there’s nothing

                   but silence. not even y
                                      our own

   because you're not

                                                    br
                                      eathing.

your head         is splitting in two

the hand

t witches

   and—

–!!!

SLAM

“SIF!!”

“SIFFRIN!?!”

You cough harshly as you slide across the ground, watching the Housemaiden run to your aid. She’s still in her sleeping clothes, her rapier drawn and ready as she stops in front of you. The Fighter hits the Sadness that tore apart your tent, sending it flying a few feet away. The Researcher is quick to help him fight the Sadness, even if her movements are a bit wobbly from not grabbing her glasses.

You try to catch your breath from the impact, holding your stomach. It hurts, it hurts…you feel like you’re going to be sick. But the Housemaiden drops her weapon as soon as the others are out of sight, turning and kneeling down to put all of her focus on you. “Stay still, Siffrin.” You almost turn away, your eyes suddenly locked on her discarded blade, but…you shakily breathe out, her glowing hands hovering over you. She’s…healing you.

It’s suddenly…a lot easier to breathe. You match her rhythm out of instinct. You don’t feel sick anymore.

Your stare slowly moves away from her weapon, and…you look at her smile. It’s the same gentle smile she always offers you. It’s something you should be sick of at this point, seeing it so often. But…

…it’s warm…

It’s been a couple weeks, since traveling with the Housemaiden has proven time and time again to be a slow and overly cautious endeavor, but your journey from your home by the ocean to here has been…memorable. You don’t like that word, especially when it’s used to describe them, but even you can admit that it’s the only fitting word to use.

You’ve learned a lot about Vaugarde, you’ve visited a few other towns that have yet to face his Craft, and you’ve been able to just…explore. You were never able to do that for years- you were never allowed to explore before. You’ve even seen a few other Houses, but you…didn’t go inside, even if your curiosity was begging you to ask the party if you could take a little detour. You’ve been learning so, so much about the country you’re so desperate to protect, desperate to save…

You’ve been…enjoying yourself, in a way.

…You’ve been…distracted.

But every so often, you’d catch a glance of something sharp, and you’d remember.

You’d catch a glance of her Orb, or his Orb, or even just feel the bone chilling touch of your own, and you’d remember.

You’d listen to them talk about him, talk about what they call a curse of all things, and you’d remember.

You’d pick up your dagger - something that was once used to carve wood, now sharpened daily with the purpose to eliminate, to eradicate, to eviscerate and kill - and you’d remember.

You have a job to do. He’s counting on you. And every time you’re letting yourself get distracted, you’re letting him down.

You can’t let him down.

You just have to do it. You have to. You have to.

“There we go… How are you feeling, Siffrin?”

…But as you sit here, the Housemaiden’s healing Craft washing over you…it’s so easy to forget what you have to do. “Change, you’re still half asleep even after that? Hehe!” What you have to do to her, to the Fighter, to the Researcher… “Come on, let’s—”

You flinch as she touches your hand, and she quickly takes hers back. “S-sorry!! I’m sorry, it’s just me.” Her smile turns nervous, and you can’t help but stare. “I keep forgetting that you– ah, nevermind, just relax for a second, okay Siffrin? Isabeau and madame Odile will return any minute once they take care of that Sadness.”

…take care of…

You nod slowly.
    > “...Okay. Thank you, Mira.”

She almost looks surprised from your thanks, but she soon responds with that same smile…and you feel your mouth curl up to do the same.

It’s not too long before the other two return. The Fighter immediately rushes to check on you, and you only smile and wave him off, reassuring him that you’re fine. It’s not the first time you’ve been rudely woken up like this! At least this time you weren’t sent flying into a tree. You’ll take rolling in the grass over feeling that strike to your back any day of the week.

Still, even without injury, your morning was a slow start.

The Researcher had misplaced her glasses from moving so quickly, and it turned into a full group effort to find them. Your tent was torn to shreds, and it took the Fighter some time to try and patch up what remained - he’s good at sewing, you’ve learned, which is…not something you expected. The Housemaiden left the rest of the leftovers out by accident, leaving everyone without breakfast until you were able to hunt down something to easily butcher. And you…took your time with that, attempting to study your notes from home while you were away from the party. You’re still surprised they weren’t shredded just like your tent, but maybe that’s just some blessing from the Universe. Hours passed before any of you were finally on the road again.

But even after all of that time went by, all while knowing you’re running out of it, you never felt…pressured. None of it felt wasted to you. Problems came up, and everyone worked together to fix them. Everyone…worked together.

…It should’ve been that way from the start.

Why did no one try to understand him? You just want to help. That’s all you ever wanted to do.

What you’re doing…is good. This is the right thing to do.

It has to be.

So why… Why is this so hard for you to do?

“Well then,” the Researcher suddenly says, bringing you back to reality as you stop walking. “That’s…going to be a bit of a problem.”

“You’re sure it’s in there, Mira?”

“Yes, but…”

You raise a brow and follow their stares, looking over towards yet another town. But unlike the ones you’ve been in recently, this one is frozen…but it’s not sealed in a protected bubble like your home.

The Craft around this town is new, fresh…and spreading.

If the Fighter and Researcher get too close…

“We’ll freeze if we go near that,” the Researcher finishes for you. “It’s slow, but we can’t rely on the Curse moving around the border first anymore. It’s on the move, and it’s closing in.”

“I really, really hate saying this,” the Fighter starts, letting out a heavy breath. “But you might have to go in alone for this one, Mira.”

You don’t give her a chance to start freaking out before you step forward.

They all look at your smile.
    > “I’ll go with her!”

“No offense, but I’d rather you stay here with us, Siffrin.”

“Madame, um…if I may, I would really, really want some company.”

“Yeah, m’dame, Sif is tough!” The Fighter smiles brightly, and…hovers his hand near you for a second before he quickly takes it back. Huh? “What, are you worried about them after the Sadness attacked this morning?”

She looks between the pair and lets out a quiet sigh. “No, that’s not the reason, but…I suppose it’s not my choice to make in the end.”

Your smile grows.
    > “We’ll be fine, Odile. You don’t have to act like you worry about me.”

She quickly turns her head to you as you laugh, and she sighs again. Twice in a row! Maybe you’ll set a new record. “Enough. Just go. Isabeau and I will wait around here. Don’t take too long.”

You wink, and wait for the Housemaiden to calm herself down before you’re both off.

She fiddles with her rapier as her steps slow, and you miraculously find the strength to not roll your eyes as you look at her. Her head is still down, but her eyes move to meet yours, and your smile turns a bit more…gentle. Like hers.
You laugh.
    > “I know you’re tougher than this, Mira.”

She turns her head, looking a little shy. “Don’t try to flatter me, Siffrin.”

     > “Flattery? Nah, I’m just telling the truth.”

She looks back, and you laugh again.
    > “You’re the one leading the charge in all of this. I’d say that’s pretty brave.”

“Says you,” she huffs, pausing for just a moment as you both step onto the freezing ground. Back to the cold. “You’re so confident, Siffrin. Even with your father missing, and being stuck in such a new place, you always act like this whole situation is- is so easy!! It’s like trying to stop the King from freezing Vaugarde in time is as challenging as doing laundry to you!”

You shrug, flipping your dagger in your hand as you walk.
    > “It’s just another weekend chore.”

She glares at you as you snort. “See!! This is exactly what I’m talking about!” You smirk with a wink, and she huffs again. Wow, just like the Researcher! Who is this! “You brush off getting hurt in fights like it’s nothing, you learn so fast and so easily, you’ll sleep through our battle strategy talks and you’ll still know how to work with our techniques, like it’s all so…” She trails off for a second before she suddenly stops walking, looking down. You raise a brow and stop as well, turning to properly face her. “...like it’s all so natural to you. S-sometimes I feel like…I’m fighting alongside you rather than it being the other way around.”

You blink. Where is all of this coming from?
    > “Mira—”

“This might sound stupid but- I don’t know, sometimes I feel like you’re straight out of a fantasy novel.” She smiles. It’s…not as gentle as usual. “Always knowing what to say and what to do, always getting back up no matter how hard you’re hit, always offering us the rest of your food or supplies if one of us is running low… Like you’re some perfect protagonist. I still think about how you took out that Sadness in one strike when we met.” Despite her smile, she sounds…upset. You watch her grip tighten around her rapier. “And…what can I do? Heal a little? Get nervous with every Sadness we face? I’m not brave like you, Siffrin. I don’t know why sh– why the Change God thought…”

…She doesn’t finish her sentence.

Your mouth moves faster than you can think.
    > “You really think I’m some big hero?”

The Housemaiden looks up again. Much like her, you feel your hold on your dagger tighten.

Stings… You force yourself to laugh.
    > “I thought I was the funny jokes person here. Hah…no, Mira, I’m not a hero. Far from one.”

“But—”

     > “You act like the three of you hadn’t already weakened that Sadness by the time I showed up.”

She…closes her mouth. You tilt your head.
    > “You act like you haven’t been the one healing our wounds and keeping us all alive. You act like you haven’t made us food, set up our camps, come up with all of our plans… Did you forget about this morning? I would not be walking around like this and feeling fine if it wasn’t for you.”

You don’t know why you’re still talking. You don’t know why you’re so…passionate about this point you’re making.

But no matter what, your mouth keeps moving.
    > “You act like you’ve done nothing in all of this, when you’ve been the very reason we’ve gotten this far in the first place. Why are you not giving yourself any credit?”

…She doesn’t respond.

Without much thought, you put your dagger away.
    > “If anyone is the hero around here, it’s you, Mira.”

. . .

Finally…Mirabelle sighs.

“...Give yourself some credit too, Siffrin,” she starts with a giggle. Oh, there’s that gentle smile you’re so used to. You feel your cheeks warm up as you mirror the smile. “You’re here to find your father, sure, but…you’re also here to save Vaugarde, even if you’ve never been here before.”

You blow a raspberry.
    > “You could say the same thing about Odile.”

“True, but…there’s something different when it comes to you.” She tilts her head. You copy her movements, and she falls into some giggles. You can’t help but laugh too. “Madame Odile is here to learn and study, or at least it seems that way, but…but you, Siffrin…” She brings one hand to her chest as she speaks, looking at you so…softly. “I can tell that you really, really love Vaugarde, and that makes me so happy… When we defeat the King, and you find your father, I hope you’ll both stay for a while and enjoy yourself. I think you’d really like it here.”

The more Mirabelle spoke…the more you had to force yourself to keep up your smile.

Right, when we…defeat the King.

…You got distracted again.

Stars, what are you doing? This whole time, you’ve been alone with Mirabelle. You’ve been alone with your target, with the others having no way of getting to you. It’s been the perfect scenario this whole time, and you’ve been wasting it on this? You can’t care about Mir– Stars, stop it– you can’t care about the Housemaiden like this. You can’t forget your job. You can’t forget your role. You can’t let him down. You can’t. You can’t.

This can all be over so easily.

You just have to do it.

You just…have to…

Slowly, under your cloak, you hover your hand over your dagger.
    > “...I’ll think about it.”

Her smile grows. She starts talking again, but you…don’t listen, only smiling and nodding along. Your fingers slowly curl around the handle of your dagger, and you squeeze, ready to strike…as soon as she turns around…

But as she speaks, you see movement behind her, and–

you–
    > “MIRA!!”
–lunge!!

She barely gets out a gasp before you tackle her, the both of you rolling out of the way as something SLAMS into the ground where she once stood - hah, where have you seen this before? With a quick turn, you slash at the Sadness’s arm, cutting it in half effortlessly. Its enormous fist is left behind on the frozen ground, the Sadness crying out loudly as its skinny appendage flails around wildly.

You quickly bring yourself back up to your feet, your dagger held out in front of you as you stand in front of Mirabelle. The rest of the Sadness slowly emerges from behind a building, its massive, multi-armed form towering over both of you, with its many large fists dragging across the ground as it moves. You can see the fist you cut off of it slowly start to shake in the corner of your eye, but before you can strike again, its form suddenly melts, and it quickly moves to the Sadness to merge with it…and it gets just a little bit taller. Ah. That’s cool! That’s fine!

Despite its frightening appearance, and the clear disadvantage you have, you stand your ground, rolling your wrist before stretching out two fingers.

You hear Mirabelle stand up behind you, her breathing a bit faster than normal, but…you can feel the warmth of her Craft. She’s…confident. She’s ready.

You grin.
    > “Talk about a rock in a hard place.”

She huffs, ignoring your joke. That’s three now!!! “This has got to be it! The energy is really, really strong here. It’s probably guarding the Orb, so…we’ll have to take it out.”

You glance over your shoulder at her.
    > “Lead the charge, uh…miss hero.”

“Hehe! It’s heroine, Siffrin.”

Oh yeah! That’s the word!
    > “Right! Heroine!”

Turning back to the Sadness, you watch it approach and loom over you both, reeling back a few of its fists with a deafening sob.

You flip your dagger…and smirk.
    > “Lead the charge, miss heroine!”

Chapter Text

SLAM and SLAM and S L A M !!!

Try as it might, the Sadness could never hit you, especially with your speed and the directions being shouted to you by Mirabelle. But even after several minutes of fighting, and figuring out the best strategies to stay alive…neither of you could hit the Sadness either. No one was winning.

Well, that’s not entirely true. You both managed to cut off a few of its arms, but much like the first time, the enormous fists left behind would melt and return to the main body, allowing it to get bigger and bigger. And of course, because this can never be easy, the fists started growing back on the cut arms. Why not!! What else could go wrong!!!

You’re getting tired. You can tell Mira is getting tired too. Your main attacks and weapons are Piercing - you’re both weak to the Sadness, so even if you could attack it in a way that matters, you wouldn’t be doing much damage to begin with. No wonder it feels like you’ve been at this for hours. She can Craft a spell, but—

“F-forget this!” she suddenly shouts, and you look her way as you dodge another fist. “Let’s just get the Orb and go!!”

With a nod, you snap your fingers, and you both run around the Sadness to get behind it. It lets out a loud cry as it starts to move after you, using its multiple hands to quickly crawl and drag itself across the ground. Even you can admit that looking over your shoulder and seeing it chase after you like a wild animal is a bit terrifying. You reach behind you and grab Mirabelle’s hand, pulling her along so she doesn’t fall behind as you run. You’re not sure where to go, but as long as it’s away from that thing, you’ll gladly go anywhere but here!

She does her best to navigate you, but even with your quick turns and cut corners, the Sadness never loses sight of you. Even in its frozen state, you can feel the ground shake every time it brings fist after fist after slamming fist into the ground right behind you, just barely missing you every time.

And…you’re starting to get tired- dizzy-
    > “Mira it’s not here–!!”

“But it has to be! I can feel it! It’s– wait, left!”

You follow her direction, and pull her over a sharp left turn, running down a very thin alleyway. Finally, finally, the Sadness stops running after you, its enormous size preventing it from getting between the two buildings. It doesn’t let you forget it's there, though, its fists hitting the buildings over and over again as reminders.

Still…you’re safe. For now.

You breathe in, and out…slowly…leaning against the cold, frozen wall of one of the buildings. Mirabelle joins you, slowly sliding down the wall and sitting on the ground next to you. You’re quick to kneel down too before you fall back onto the ground completely, the both of you doing whatever you can to catch your breath.

You're dizzy. Your hands are shaking. You keep flinching every time the building you're sitting against is hit. Stars, this sucks. This sucks!

Mirabelle is no better. She looks like she's on the verge of a breakdown. “I-I… I don't know what to do.”

You frown, leaning forward enough to see her face.
    > “Don’t worry, we’ll find it.”

“No, that's the problem, Siffrin!” she says a little bit louder. “We won't find it because I don't know where it is!!” …Oh. Your eyes fall as she hugs her legs, gripping her skirt as she hides her face in her knees. “I thought that if we moved through the town, I'd be able to tell where to go, but…b-but I still don't! I can't focus at all!! I don't know where the Orb is, we're being hunted by the biggest Sadness I've ever seen, and we're exhausting ourselves running around in crabbing circles!!! Everyone is counting on me, but- but the very thing we need to save Vaugarde is nowhere to be seen!”

You watch her hands shake. Everyone is…counting on her…

You feel cold.
    > “Mira—”

“It just- it feels like- like it's taunting me!! It was right in front of us, but then it wasn’t, and then it felt like it was everywhere! Like it's going around in circles just like us, or that it's always right behind us! Always…just…”