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Solomon’s lifeless eyes were burned into Sebastian’s memory as he jolted awake in a cold sweat, again, with a startled yelp.
At the frustrated groans of his roommates, he grabbed his pillow and blanket and tore them from the bed, padding quietly out of the room and down the stone steps into the Common Room, setting up a makeshift bed on the sofa near the fireplace.
Every single night he’d endured the same image – the same horrific nightmare. That one regretful decision in the catacombs. He could feel every sensation as if it had happened only moments prior.
The smell of burning flesh as his friend scorched through a veritable horde of Inferi, the sting of his own wounds while he bitterly defended himself against his uncle’s onslaught, the feeling of blind loathing when that fateful curse crossed his lips and the resulting dread the second his magic struck true.
And then Anne.
Her expression when she looked at him – hateful and revolted.
Sebastian’s stomach twisted tighter into a knot, and he curled in on himself, raking a hand down his face as he tried desperately to erase that image from his mind. If only for the briefest of moments, he needed a reprieve. His own mind was a torturous prison, and he almost wished they’d simply sent him to Azkaban where he belonged. At least there he might lose his mind rather than be stuck with these damn memories.
But no, ever the infuriatingly loyal companion, his steadfast witch had tirelessly worked to convince both Anne and Ominis that he ought to be spared – that he was worth mercy.
Even Sebastian was unconvinced, but they’d somehow listened to her, and now here he was, free of punishment. Thus, his own conscience saw fit to punish him for his crimes instead.
The days were mostly fine – mostly. He could typically distract himself with studies and coursework and the mundanity of life inside the castle walls. It was far better than summertime had been, cooped up alone in that cottage in Feldcroft with Solomon’s corpse buried just outside. At least here, it wasn’t so quiet, and his thoughts weren’t left to wander aimlessly back to those catacombs as they so often wanted to do.
Of course, there was one source of comfort that Sebastian had discovered.
One he couldn’t even fathom deserving, but that he shamelessly took advantage of when she was available.
And available she had made herself, as always, when she eventually trudged down the stairs into the Common Room just as the sun came up. Bleary-eyed and yawning, with her hair still carelessly disheveled and her school tie unfastened, MC greeted Sebastian with a warm smile the moment her eyes locked onto his still-awake form on that same sofa he’d camped out on the whole night. It was a routine they’d started since the first of term when she initially stumbled upon him, nestled on the sofa rather than his dorm bed.
She was the only one who still looked at him like that - as if there was no one else she'd rather catch sight of. It stole his breath away each time and made whatever nightmares that were stagnant in his mind vanish.
Perpetually understanding, she never once questioned why he was there in the Common Room. Instead, she’d simply plop down next to him, obnoxiously draping her legs across his own, and begin chattering away about anything and everything she could think of.
It might have seemed annoying to anyone watching – the way she thoughtlessly invaded his personal space while he was clearly having a hard time, just to talk his ear off about the best mallowsweet patches and a peculiar-colored diricawl she’d once spotted.
To Sebastian, however, the girl was a god-send.
The comfort she unknowingly provided by doing nothing more than behaving casually around him gave him the illusion of normalcy, and he’d mindlessly fiddle with her stockings and the hem of her skirt while her legs rested across his lap as he allowed himself to get lost in her rambling stories and rants. While she might be wholly clueless as to how each of these moments were saving both his sanity and his life, Sebastian was becoming intimately aware of her presence as they progressed through their sixth year.
Of course, he was utterly sickened by his own deepening feelings toward his friend, unworthy as he was of harboring them, and so he pushed those down with the rest of the emotions and torment festering away in his gut. He’d sooner gnaw off his own arm than even consider acting on anything that might push his one saving grace away.
Instead, he nodded along and conversed pleasantly, pretending like nothing at all was amiss despite the fact he was sitting in a nest of his own bedding in a common area.
-
Sitting in detention again after falling asleep in class again, Sebastian slumped over the desk in Hecat’s classroom while his stomach growled for a dinner he was missing and his eyelids drooped heavily from continued sleep deprivation. Lines were utter torture, and he wondered briefly if the snarky old woman might finally make good on her threat to light his robes on fire should he fall asleep during his punishment.
By some miracle, however, he managed to make it out of her room an hour later, unscathed and somehow still upright.
With hurried footsteps, Sebastian made his way toward the Great Hall, hoping against all odds that he could still fill a plate with food and inhale the contents of it before the meal vanished back into the table. With less than a minute to spare, he was about to bolt through the imposing double doors in a bid to get something into his stomach when a hand snagged the back of his robes and tugged him roughly away from his destination.
His face fell as he watched the doors slam shut, but not before the devastating sight of all the food disappearing before his eyes drained what little hope he had left. Off to bed with an empty stomach again, it seemed.
Sighing heavily, he turned to glower at the reason for his continued misery but perked up significantly to see his favorite witch still dragging him along through the castle halls with a serious look on her face.
Sebastian spun around and dislodged her hand from his clothing, twining her fingers with his own and swinging their arms playfully while he plastered a grin on his face.
What did dinner matter, anyway?
“To what do I owe the pleasure? I’d have thought you’d be –“
Instantly cutting himself off, Sebastian’s words evaporated on his tongue, and his smile fell away when she stopped in front of him and looked at him with such displeasure he thought he might just crumble.
“Enough with this ridiculous act you’re putting on. I can’t stand watching you pretend to be alright anymore, Sebastian.” She said miserably, looking at him hard.
He withered immediately and simply nodded. Always so damn perceptive.
“You’ve not slept in ages, Sebastian. You’re falling behind in class – and that’s only when you’re conscious through the entire lecture. You’re not even staying in your dorm. You look more like a ghost than the Bloody Baron!” She spoke, a slight bit of panic tinging her voice while she carried on.
Sebastian shook his head, dismissing her. “I’ve always been a bit of an insomniac, you know that. You and I spent last year skulking about the castle at all hours of the night – I just need to adjust my sleeping schedule a bit.”
It was always a bit easier to keep up the act around her, the way merely being near her seemed to lighten his burden.
“You’re not fooling anyone, Sebastian – least of all me.” Her voice was soft, and she reached a hand up to brush her thumb along his face, just under his eye where he knew the dark bags were glaringly obvious.
She groaned, frustrated, when he simply shrugged in response and spun to tug him along again, this time at a quicker pace.
He didn’t bother asking where they were going – didn’t need to. The path to the Room of Requirement was familiar to him after she’d revealed her secret hideaway to him in their fifth year while avoiding an especially pesky pair of Prefects one late night out past curfew. While he’d never been able to make the Room appear himself, much as he tried, he still glanced at the blank wall in awe each and every time he passed it, wondering if she might be on the other side.
Now, however, they were making a beeline for the magnificent place, and Sebastian couldn’t wait to delve into the wonders she kept there. Perhaps he’d spend all night relaxing in her Vivarium rather than running through the endless horrors of the catacombs. Her little sanctuary was filled to the brim with entertainment and mysteries he could occupy his time with.
The sight that greeted him when they crossed the threshold of the once spacious and busy room, however, was lackluster.
“What the hell is this?” He blurted out, staring at the simple, tiny space.
Rather than a palatial wonder of magic and enchantment, with flying books and wild herb gardens and bubbling brews, the Room was now hardly the size of his own dormitory. There sat a single, plush bed, an armchair, an end table, and a fireplace. While cozy, it was not at all what he’d wanted.
Wordlessly, she shoved him inside and pushed him, face-first, onto the bed.
It was surprisingly soft but did not detract from his abject disappointment as he turned to sit on the bed and stare up at her, perplexed and waiting for some sort of explanation.
“You’re going to sleep, damn you.” She said simply.
He gaped up at her, speechless for a moment, before stammering out, "S-sleep? Is that why you've set the room up to look like some frilly old woman's cottage? Not to be ungrateful, but I do have a bed, you know. With significantly less lace and floral arrangements..."
Picking at the frilly bedding and gesturing to the vases and pots of lavender around the little room, Sebastian wrinkled his nose to punctuate the point.
Scoffing and crossing her arms, she offered little more than a glare that could make even Professor Sharp bite his tongue.
"I use this room to sleep, you know. I'm aware you've been suffering nightmares, Sebastian. I've been dealing with the same. When it gets to be too much, the Room becomes this, and I sleep like a baby. You'll do the same. But first..."
Stalking off to the small table in the corner, she picked up a plate piled high with an assortment of food and brought it over to him, dropping it into his lap.
"You'll eat your supper. You've been missing too many meals, what with your record-breaking streak of detentions this year. I pilfered this from the Kitchens earlier." She explained as he stared down in awe - each of his favorites was neatly arranged there.
Before he could argue the point and insist he was not going to sit there and eat in front of her like a child, his stomach growled loudly. Obediently, he tucked in, occasionally glancing up at her, only to quickly avert his gaze to hide the blooming blush on his cheeks. The pleased smile she wore while watching him was overwhelming. The simplicity of her simple act of care was entirely too much.
Plate empty, she seemed satisfied as she took it off his hands and set it back on the table before coming back over to the bed.
Ready to thank her and bid her goodnight, despite knowing very well a bit of lavender and some pretty bedsheets wouldn't fix his head, he was left stuttering and flustered when she slipped onto the bed herself, watching him expectantly.
"W-what are you doing? I thought I was meant to sleep here?" He asked, dumbfounded.
"Of course you are. But not before we get you good and ready. Now, sit with your back to me and try to relax a bit - you're always so tense." She stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
Sebastian didn't move.
Instead, he remained stiff as a board and broke out in a cold sweat, unsure where this was going. Laying next to him on a secluded bed with her legs parted well more than was decent, she couldn't possibly be so bold as to -
"Get your filthy mind out of the gutter and do as you're told, Sebastian." She chided with a light laugh, pulling his back flush against her so that he was nestled between her legs.
There was no way in hell she didn't feel the heat rising off him in waves.
"What the hell are you - oh..."
Panic turned to bliss when her delicate hands, still rested on his shoulders, began to knead at his stiff muscles. The tension slowly released as she worked, and his eyes fluttered closed as he relished in the way her fingers pressed and dragged along his neck and spine and shoulders, occasionally dipping beneath his shirt collar to work out an especially tight knot.
Nearly an hour later of this, Sebastian could safely say he had never been more relaxed in his entire life. The calming aroma of lavender periodically wafted across his nose, settling his nerves even further.
After she'd finished with her more rigorous massage, she set to work gently raking her fingernails across his scalp and combing through his hair with her hands. Sebastian had long since given up on suppressing the contented little whines and sighs she pulled from him and was now a shameless puddle of goo in her hands.
The last thing he remembered as his eyelids grew heavy and his breathing slowed was hearing her whisper a sweet goodnight in his ear.
-
The following morning, expecting to open his eyes to the Slytherin Common Room, Sebastian blinked several times in confusion while taking in his surroundings and attempting to recall just where the fuck he was.
Distinctly feminine bedsheets, the floral scent in the air, and the sound of someone else breathing deeply just beside him.
A rush of panic coursed through him when he saw who that someone else was.
The Room.
They'd fallen asleep there.
Together.
Heart racing, Sebastian's mind went to static. What was the appropriate way to handle this sort of situation? Did this even count as a morning after? Should he even feel so awkward? Would she?
They hadn't even done anything - surely there was nothing to overthink.
Yet, here they were. He'd at some point in the night latched onto her like she was a damn teddy bear.
While he thoughts spiraled into increasingly more worrisome scenarios, she stirred beside him and peeked her eyes open, watching with amusement as if his thoughts were clear as day on his features.
"All that work to calm your nerves, and now I wake to find you in a tizzy." She mused before a flicker of concern passed over her. "Did my methods not work? Did you have another nightmare?"
For the briefest of moments, Sebastian had forgotten what a nightmare even was.
"Uh, no. No nightmares to speak of, just... sorry." He said dully, untangling himself from her and trying not to meet her eyes.
Snickering, she pulled him back down and wrapped her own arms around him, and if his heart hadn't been about to stop before, he was certainly going to die now.
"Come on, it's still early. And it's Saturday. Get a bit more rest. I'll hold you captive here until I'm satisfied you've caught up on your sleep." She told him slyly, and he had no doubt she really would keep him prisoner in the Room.
Half-expecting shackles to appear at her behest, Sebastian sighed in resignation and sank back against the pillow, looking at her sleepy face with curiosity.
"Why?" He asked simply, and they both knew what he meant, but he didn't have the energy to elaborate.
Why was she always looking after him? Why did she deem him worthy of this sort of concern? She was a hero, and he was some failure who'd murdered a man.
The look of mild amusement faded, and she instead pressed a kiss to his forehead.
"Because I love you dearly, and it pains me to see you the way you've been. It'll take time to mend all our wounds from last year, but we'll manage. For now, just promise to take little moments like this with me when you feel overwhelmed."
There were so many parts of that explanation he wanted to analyze - how she loved him dearly, especially. Sleep was quickly winning out over curiosity, however, and the intoxicating scent of lavender mixed with her comforting warmth proved too much.
With a reluctant whine, Sebastian could only nod and slip back into a much-needed slumber.
She was right - it was Saturday, after all. There was plenty of time for that discussion later. Sleep was a far more pressing need, especially when he finally felt safe.
When he woke up again, he'd be the one holding her hostage in bed, demanding to know just what this all meant. He knew what it all meant, of course - she'd said the damn words. But he'd pin her down when he had the strength to do so and make her say them again until he was satisfied.
Perhaps he'd even return the favor and give her a massage, as well.