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Ignorant.
The word seared into her memory, in Sebastian's sneering voice, as she blasted furiously through another of Ranrok's loyalists in the depths of some shitty mountain mine.
He'd called her fucking ignorant, and then had the audacity to summon her to the other damn side of the highlands like she owed him a favor.
The half-assed apology, if one could even call it that, he'd written and sent to her by way of owl had done little to quell her fury over the situation. Calling her to yet another dangerous corner of their little world amidst everything else she had going on, the tone of his letter spoke like she should be so privileged to assist him.
Like he was doing her a kindness by dragging her out of the warm castle and onto death's doorstep.
The fact that he couldn't even apologize properly - to her face - was as infuriating as the insult he'd hurled at her.
Now, rushing headfirst into danger at Sebastian's behest, she cursed herself.
"I must be out of my damn mind." She muttered under her breath, panting while she slipped through the mineshaft. It was a far cry from safe to travel through a goblin stronghold, but still safer than flying over or around the mountains where scouts could spot her.
Idly, she wondered how Sebastian intended to make his way through. Some small part of her hoped he might be just behind her so that he could slip through the mine without having to even unsheathe his wand. That he might simply step over the corpses of goblins instead of needing to fend them off himself, as she was presently doing.
Another part of her continued cursing him under her breath for making her behave like a fucking dog trailing after its master, the way he knew he could beckon her to the ends of the earth and she'd drop everything to aid him.
Even after he'd scorned her.
"Bastard!" She yelled, hexing another goblin as she envisioned it to be Sebastian instead.
Calling her ignorant.
What the hell did he know about ignorance anyway?
Real ignorance was refusing the help of Lodgok - a goblin ally - purely because of his useless prejudice.
Here she was, facing down hordes of goblins wanting to tear her limb from limb, and yet she wasn't holding a grudge against Lodgok.
No, Sebastian was the ignorant one. For all his books, grades, and talent, he was a stubborn bastard who needed a rude awakening. One she would happily provide the moment she laid eyes on him after she reached Marunweem where the prick would surely be waiting for her with a smug smile and some sarcastic comment about her taking too long.
She'd wring his fucking neck.
The indignant rage she felt toward the boy only compounded when a goblin managed to nail her with a lucky hit, and the pain radiating from her wounded forearm served to quicken the absolute bloodbath she was making within the mine.
That he could dare to call her ignorant and insinuate that she of all people didn't grasp the dangers of Ranrok and his ilk was, frankly, laughable if it weren't so damn insulting.
Unable to grasp how she had ever deigned to love the boy in question, she made it through to the exit of the mines by way of sheer spite and willpower alone, determined to direct her still-thriving rage at the source of her ire.
Fortunately for her, Sebastian was in prime position to receive her wrath. Already perched upon a boulder at the spot he'd asked to meet, he wore a haughty expression and looked positively belligerent. The words he greeted her with did little to garner an iota of forgiveness for his transgressions.
A petty part of her was glad for it.
"You look like hell. What took you so long? I thought we agreed to meet before dusk - the sun is down now, if you hadn't noticed." He asked, squinted at her approaching form in the dim lighting.
When she got closer, however, the scowl fell from his face, and his lips parted in concern as he took in the full extent of his friend's battered appearance.
Arms and legs scraped and bruised and covered in filth, skirt torn and charred, and she was covered in sweat and panting.
The positively scathing expression on her normally pretty face alarmed him to his own state of danger, however.
Before he could even think to remedy the situation, she descended on him with a fury he'd never seen from anyone, and especially not this perpetually demure girl.
"You callous bastard!" She approached swiftly, jabbing a delicate finger harshly into his chest with enough force that he grunted and faltered backward, too stunned to keep steady. "Twenty-seven goblins! Twenty-seven! I had to fight my way through the mines to get here and nearly died - again. At your behest - again, might I add. This is all after you treated me like utter shit. And you dare greet me like - "
She paused when his feet shuffled backward. Pale-faced and utterly horrified by her verbal assault, Sebastian looked ready to flee.
She couldn't have that.
Not yet.
Without even considering what it meant to turn her wand on a comrade, she brandished it, and the spell left her lips in a flash.
"Leviosa!"
With a startled yelp, Sebastian was hoisted up off the ground, dangling helplessly before her while she continued her tirade.
"You'll stay put, and you'll listen to me, damnit! I'm through with you treating me like some obedient mongrel that you'll kick around if I don't listen. It's your turn." She seethed, glaring up at him with frustrated tears pricking at her eyes.
She was so furious, and her vision blurred from the tears. There was no way for her to see the look of pitiful regret on Sebastian's face when he quietly agreed to hear her out.
"Okay, go on then. Let me have it." He said gently, watching with worry as she paced, bleeding and distressed, below him.
"Selfish, arrogant, cruel - there's a thousand words I could use to describe you, Sebastian, and calling you my friend comes very far down on the list at the moment. You've treated me like shit lately. I'm already bearing the weight of the world on my shoulders without you breathing down my neck about how I do it." She glowered up at him, tears streaming down her face now while she spiraled into a full-blown rampage.
"I'm so tired every single day from trying to simply adjust to this school and catching up with where the rest of you are. Extra coursework, always getting lost in the castle, students pulling me left and right for aid." She continued, practically hysterical as the floodgates of her misery finally opened. "The ancient magic on too of it all - Fig's expectations, being constantly hunted by Ranrok and Rookwood. I'm exhausted, Sebastian. I'm terrified."
"I know." He said quietly, watching her with growing guilt.
She'd never once shown the toll it all had taken on her - simply going through the motions with a polite smile and only ever kind words for everyone - himself included. Clearly, he'd read her wrong the entire time, and he felt nauseated.
Her head snapped up at him in a sneer. "You don't know. If you had any idea - or even cared to take notice of anything going on in my life - you would be grateful for the immense help and sympathy I've spared you thus far. I thought you were my friend. I've been loyal to you, and I've allowed you to drag me along on every scheme, nearly getting expelled and facing even more of this hell than I should have to. And you dare call me ignorant? And you can't even apologize to me before demanding that I come aid your suicide mission out here? At least Ranrok has the grace to give me some breathing room before he fucks me over again. Merlin forbid I don't take Sebastian Sallow's word as law!"
Panting heavily after her outburst while she caught her breath, she didn't look at him when she released her spell, and Sebastian tumbled back to the ground, landing on his rear with a grunt.
Sitting silently on the wet grass, he watched her for a long while with wide eyes until he was certain she'd gotten it all out of her system.
Then, he stood carefully and approached her, head bowed and hesitant. There were, of course, no suitable words to say that might mend this quickly.
While he mulled over what he should say, rather than sticking his foot in his mouth and hurting her again, Sebastian settled on wordlessly unsheathing his wand and pointing it at the still-bleeding gash along her forearm and muttering a healing spell.
To her credit, for as rightfully furious as she was, she didn't wrench her arm away while he worked.
Perhaps she could sense his remorse, or perhaps she was too drained from fighting and screaming at him that she didn't have it in her to stop him.
Still, Sebastian was going to ride that momentum and see if it was possible to soothe even a fraction of her hurt.
"I'm so sorry I've treated you poorly. You're right. Everything you said was correct. I've taken your boundless kindness for granted." He said quietly, still averting his gaze from hers, ashamed to meet her eyes. "I've hurt you, and I'm ashamed."
"Good! You should be! At least you can feel some semblance of empathy toward me." She retorted miserably, simply standing in the chill night air, crying like a child while Sebastian solemnly tended to each of her bruises and scrapes.
Sighing heavily, Sebastian nodded. "You're right still. You've been a far better friend than I deserve, and I know it will take more than an apology to remedy this. I do care about you. Still... I'd like you to allow me to try fixing this, at least. Or have I damaged our friendship beyond repair already?"
She stilled for a while, not saying anything while he finished diligently healing her. When he was finished, Sebastian finally met her gaze, and he flinched at the sight.
Seeing her cry up close like this was far worse than he had imagined, and another wave of guilt coursed through him.
"Say you're sorry again." Her voice was thick from crying, and he might have laughed had he not been responsible for her present state.
"I'm sorry. I'll say it as many times as you need to hear it. I regret that it took this for you to get through to me." Keeping a gentle hand clasped around hers, he waited for her judgement.
With her unoccupied hand, she wiped the tears from her face and fixed him with another stern look. "Good. Now, which of us is the ignorant one?"
"M-me?" He asked dumbly, as if uncertain.
She arched a brow, unimpressed.
"Is that a question? Do you think I'm ignorant?"
"No - no! You're not. I swear you're not ignorant. You're clever and brilliant and... well, I'm ignorant and especially so for saying that to you in the first place." He managed to stammer out, unsure where this was going.
"Say it all together - say, 'I'm sorry for being ignorant.'" She instructed, her tone reminding him of the way his mother used to scold him when he'd bicker with Anne.
Slowly, the words tumbled out. "I am sorry. And I am definitely ignorant."
At the sight of her shivering in the cold, the blood and sweat on her clothes making the chill of the air that much more brutal, he took off his robe and placed it over her before adding one more addition to his apology.
"It was foolish of me to drag you out here. Let's get back to the castle. I don't need whatever's up that mountain right now - not at the cost of you." He leaned down, speaking softly next to her ear.
She nodded, subdued after her long battle in the mines and her emotional outburst, and allowed Sebastian to walk her further south.
They carried on in silence, broken by her occasional sniffles and his muttered apologies each time.
She didn't even realize they weren't headed back in the mines until -
"You might hex me for asking, but... why didn't you just use the Floo along the coast?" Sebastian asked, curious.
She paused, finally stirring out of her fatigued state, and gaped at him. "Coastal Floo?"
Sebastian gestured to a hazy green flame in the distance, near a travelers' cabin.
"Well, sure. It's how everyone gets here from school. There's a broom racing course here and everything. Did you think everyone fights through a mine to visit the coast? Do you think the vendors coming from the north do that?" He asked, tone habitually returning to its usual incredulity when someone does something he deems stupid.
And stupid it was.
"Why didn't you tell me there was a fucking Floo?!" She balked, swatting his arm repeatedly while he laughed.
"I thought Weasley gave you a map of the highlands!" Sebastian said, half-heartedly defending himself from her weak onslaught before pecking her cheek. "You know, I much prefer your limp-wristed beatings to the verbal thrashing I was just subjected to.
Oh, how she wanted to slap the smug grin on his face.
If she didn't inexplicably love it so much.
"You're a real bastard, Sallow." She said, grinning back.