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“Claire-sama, just stay in bed for a while, okay? I will come back as soon as possible.”
Rae stood beside my bed with her expression full of worry. It was a few hours before the start of classes, and she had come to wake me up for the morning. Our usual routine was for her to wake me up, and help me get ready for our classes, starting with her big warm smile and calling out my name full of glee. However, when she saw me in bed and touched my forehead, her expression changed to concern.
“Will you be alright by yourself?”
Her gentle but anxious voice echoes through my mind. With half-lidded eyes, I studied her expression which she rarely shows. To think that for all the times I can recall it happened it was because of me…
Stop. If I let my thoughts go there, that would be my fever talking.
Rae also seemed flustered and almost helpless. Maybe it was due to my lack of response to her. While wanting to ease that worry on her face, a part of me wants to keep looking at it, burn the image in my mind, and always embrace it in my heart.
Ugh. Hold it, Claire Francois.
I managed to give her a nod as a response. If I had spoken, that would have made her worry even more. Because I am aware of my sore throat. My voice would just sound weird. But even so, it did not change the fact that she was reluctant to leave me alone despite what she said. She finally did after I waved a hand at her in my attempt to tell her I would be fine.
This girl, seriously.
Since returning from our summer vacation, I have been occupied with reading different political materials about the Bauer kingdom. We even visited the church and met Lily Lilium, daughter of the Chancellor, Salas Lilium. We have been meeting regularly since then, except for today. Rae noticed the symptoms of my headache and coughing. I couldn’t argue when she told Lily that we might not come the next day, which was exactly what happened.
To sleep once again, I tucked myself into the sheets while also trying to relieve the coldness I was feeling. Just when I was getting somewhere with what I wanted to learn about the current state of the Bauer kingdom, I got sick and had to take the day off. But my mood isn’t as bad as it normally would be.
“Claire-sama…” Her endearing voice calling out my name suddenly crossed my mind once again.
Wait a minute!
I’m not saying that the reason was her. But it truly brings wonders to me how Rae was able to crawl into my thoughts more often than before. Ever since the day that I met her, I never had a single day of peace to myself.
“Claire-sama you’re so cute~”
I felt like I was being treated like a child the first time she called me that way. But now, it makes my heart pound harder. What can I even do when she always catches me off guard?
“Please accept me, not as your maid, but as your partner.”
When Rae said those words, she was full of love, devotion, and determination. The determination which I didn’t know until then I was seeking from her. I can never forget how her words made me tremendously happy, even if I went on to embarrass myself a little after that, calling her mine.
But Rae is indeed mine. And I…
As my thoughts continued to reminisce about the unforgettable moments I had with Rae, my mind drifted off to sleep.
***
I awoke to a warm and wet sensation on my forehead and my hand. As I slowly opened my eyes, I realized that I was still in my room, lying on my bed. It appeared to be bright outside, and the room temperature didn't feel as cold as it did in the morning, although that could be due to my fever. Now, it seemed that my condition was improving. I had a pleasant sleep, which might have helped. It must still be around noon.
My gaze then fell upon the hand that was atop mine. It was intertwined with my fingers, gripping it lightly. Then I realized, this was not the first time this happened. This was not the first time this hand had clung to mine during my sleep. When my eyes wandered to the hand's owner, I saw her head resting on my side.
“Claire-sama…” she mumbled with eyes still closed.
The wet towel which has become warm on my forehead tells me that it’s been placed there for some time. She did say that she would come back as soon as possible, but I didn’t think she would skip classes to do that. However, that should not come as a surprise. This is my Rae we’re talking about. If I tell her to skip classes with me just to hang out somewhere, I bet she would agree even before I tell her why. Not like I will do something like skipping classes. That was just to say, Rae would do anything for me.
I previously accused her of being shameless for holding my hand in my sleep. Tracing the back of her hand with my thumb, I felt some heat creep up to my cheeks. How strange, the very same hand that I called shameless, was also the same hand that was giving me comfort now.
Rae…
My thumbs stopped moving when I noticed her starting to move. Her eyes opened and immediately met mine. As if she just realized I was staring back at her, she jolted awake and inched closer to my face.
“Claire-sama! How are you feeling? Would you like to eat something?”
“Water… Please.” My voice came out, hoarse as expected. She seemed caught off guard but recovered in a second. I felt the dryness in my throat, which was no doubt due to not being able to drink water for a few hours.
Rae quickly fetched me a glass of water from what seemed like a bed tray she prepared. The tray contained a pot of water, a glass, a bowl with a spoon beside it, and some pouch which I assume would be medicine. She returned after filling the glass with water.
“Thank…you.” I tried to say, getting up slowly. Rae helped me sit up on my bed before giving me the glass of water.
“I made some rice porridge. But I will need to reheat it first.”
“There is no need. Give…me that.”
I raised my hands waiting for her to hand me the bowl. But instead, she carried the bed tray and sat on the chair beside me.
“Allow me to feed you, Claire-sama!”
I was considering whether to let her feed me. I don't feel so weak that I need to be taken care of, but a part of me wants to be pampered by her even more. This isn't the first time I've fallen ill, and she's had to look after me. Lene was still with us during that time. It wasn't that long ago, but thinking about Lene made me feel nostalgic.
And looks like due to my lack of response again, Rae took my silence as affirmation. She went ahead and took a spoonful of the rice porridge, then held it to my mouth saying Aah~ prompting me to open it.
“I’m not a child, you know.” Came my retort, and yet I took it. Rae squealed in return.
Well, I guess I should let her for now. And blame it on the fever once again.
She continued to feed me as I had let her do so. There was about half of the porridge left when Ralaire, who had been sleeping in her pocket, came out asking for food. Rae gave her the biscuits she was carrying in her other pocket. She told me about it some time ago. Since adopting Ralaire, she started carrying biscuits with her all the time. She is really good at taking care of others. It is just one of the things about her that I find admirable.
“Aaah!” Rae exclaimed, cutting me off from my thoughts. “Claire-sama is smiling at me with such a tender look! I can now die with no regrets!” She clasped both her hands as if thanking the spirit god for something like a blessing. Strangely enough, I could almost imagine tears of happiness flowing from her eyes as she did that, and a bright light from the sky.
How dramatic, as always. But… “No, you can’t die just yet. And please,” I land a light hand chop on her head. “Stop fooling around.”
“Yes, ma’am! Ehe he”
I averted my gaze trying to hide my embarrassment. How could I have not noticed that I was smiling? And what did she say? I was looking at her tenderly? Did I really do that? It seems like, I was not being myself today. More like all my guards are down around her now. Not that I will ever admit that to her.
Soon enough, I finished all the rice porridge she made me. Ralaire also finished eating and settled beside my pillow to sleep there. After making sure that I took the medicines she had prepared for me, Rae left to clean up.
I lay flat on my bed again, now with Ralaire by my side. This adorable slime also made its way into my heart before I realized it. Just looking at her soothes me as well. I fell asleep once again with such feelings in my heart.
***
With her body pressed against the wall, Rae’s red eyes went wide as she stared directly into my own. She was the taller one of us, by a few centimeters, and yet I could see it in her eyes that she was feeling small from my gaze. My arms are on either side of her shoulders, barely keeping my body from pressing against hers.
I racked my brain trying to remember how we got here but I couldn’t. I just continued to stare at her with a growing intensity.
“Claire-sama?” Her voice came out almost inaudible if not for our proximity.
The growing blush on her cheeks was starting to make me feel things. My gaze fell upon her lips, as I let my right hand go up to caress her cheek.
What is going on with me? Why does it feel like I have no control over my actions?
Even my thoughts were beyond my control as my mind wondered how her lips would feel like if I pressed it with mine. My thumb went on to touch her lips, causing her cheeks to burn up even more. I could feel my face heat up as well. However, my body wasn’t stopping there.
I felt myself inching closer, until our foreheads were already touching, and our lips were only a few centimeters away. And just before our lips locked into each other, my vision went black.
***
I was jolted awake, wide-eyed, and flustered, as my consciousness came to. I was back in my room at the academy.
What was that?
Breathing heavily, I refused to move an inch. My mind was still trying to process what had just happened.
It was a dream. Yes, I can tell that much. But… Why did I have such a dream?
Both of my hands went to cover my face. Whether it was out of embarrassment, frustration, or maybe both, I couldn’t tell. It was so shameless that I wish I could dig a hole and hide myself there.
This fever may have gone down, but it made sure to leave a scar.
I used to despise the very idea of a commoner, of Rae. But things have changed. My values have changed and are still changing. There is no clear answer for me yet as to what exactly it is that I feel for her. But I know that, at the very least, I adore her. If it’s more than that, I cannot tell for sure yet.
Now I feel like a hypocrite. I used to be prejudiced against her, thinking she was always lecherous and would do nothing good. But to think that I have a dream of kissing her… Who is the lecherous one now?
Once again, I blame it on the fever.
Ralaire was still sleeping beside my pillow, but Rae was not back yet. Feeling some strange loneliness, I looked around the room and just noticed that it had gone dark. It may be time for dinner now which explains why Rae, and even my roommate, Catherine, were not back yet.
I took the glass of water I found by my table. There was a note left by Rae saying she would be back by dinner. Which means she would be back any minute now.
The water went down my throat easing the dryness once again. It was still a bit sore, but it was much better compared to this morning. However, it was not enough to help me calm down. My heart was still pounding hard from that strange dream. It doesn’t help that it also reminds me of the previous instances when I accidentally pushed her to the floor, and one time to the bed, with both times me landing on top of her. I hit my face with my hand again out of embarrassment.
Claire Francois, hold yourself together!
Just then, I heard a knock on the door.
“Claire-sama, I’m coming in,” Rae called out. She opened the door, then pushed a cart which seemed to have our dinner. She stopped on her track once she noticed me. “Claire-sama? Are you feeling better now?” She said rushing to me and immediately touching my forehead with hers.
Wha—!!
Rae did it before. The first time she had to take care of me when Lene was still with us. She measured my temperature this way. I was caught off guard then, and I still was when she did it again. With all the thoughts for my dream earlier, the gesture made it worse. I could feel the heat all over my face and my mouth remained hanging.
“Your temperature seemed to have gotten better. But why is your face all red, Claire-sama?”
“Whose fault do you think that is?!” I exclaimed which was followed by a series of coughs. My hand covered my mouth on instinct.
“Waah! I’m sorry Claire-sama. Yes, it is my fault.” Rae rushed back to the cart and then returned with a glass of water in her hand. “Here, have some water.” She said, giving me the glass. I took it giving her a glare in the process.
After we both calmed down, Rae set our table for dinner. Ralaire had woken up by, probably, the smell of food. Rae proudly declared that she was the one who cooked our food. This time, it was something she called a cream stew. She chopped the chicken and vegetables into bite-sized pieces making sure that it was easy to eat like the rice porridge. She may have said that it is a usual thing for a commoner to have cooking skills, but I feel like hers may even surpass a chef from Broumet.
“Shall I feed you again, Claire-sama?”
“No. I am much better now, as you can see. So, can we just start eating?”
“Aww~ Okay!”
She sounded disappointed, but I could see that she was pleased I had more retort to her now compared to earlier. I used to not have much appetite for eating when I was sick, but somehow just the smell of the food she made for me, gives me the appetite I need. As I mentioned earlier, she already surpasses Broumet level for me. I enjoyed each spoon I took of the cream stew. I couldn’t have enough of how juicy the chicken was. She must have put a lot of effort into preparing it. While I know nothing about cooking, I can tell at least that it is not easy. Before I knew it, I already finished my plate.
“Thank you, Rae. It was delicious as well.” I said to her as I put down my spoon. She had already finished then so she was probably watching me finish for the last few minutes. She clasped her hands together and squealed.
“I’m glad you like it! Let’s get married, Claire-sama!”
“Just how did you jump there?!”
“Te-he~”
After cleaning up our table, and the plates and utensils we used, we went out to the dorm’s bathroom. I had to tell Rae repeatedly that I was already strong enough to walk around. And besides, taking a bath would help me refresh. Despite what I said, she was still worried. She made sure our bath would be warm, and that we do it quickly, so I wouldn’t have to stay soaked in water for a long time.
By the time we got back to my room, Catherine seemed to have gotten back. But as usual, she kept her presence hidden. She knew all about Rae, but she hadn’t shown herself to her. Anyway, she was probably sleeping then as I didn’t see her maid before we got inside.
“Looks like your fever has gotten down completely,” Rae said with her hand still on my forehead. “How does your throat feel? Is it still sore?”
“I think it is, but not as much anymore. I am comfortable speaking again if I won’t have to yell.” I glared at her which earned me an apologetic look. She knew exactly that I meant the instances earlier during our dinner.
“Yes, I know, I know. I’m sorry about earlier. I just couldn’t help myself you know?” Rae motioned for me to sit in front of the mirror which I did. She started brushing my hair gently. “I was starting to miss your voice. Even if it was hoarse, or your usual one, I still want to hear your voice.”
How are you always this unfair?
It was bad enough that I was looking in the mirror. I could see how flushed my face was, and Rae just smiled widely at that.
“Claire-sama, please rest tomorrow as well. You may be feeling better, but you still need to recover completely.”
Even if I wanted to refute her, she was right. I couldn’t risk feeling sick just when I was about to recover. “I will do as you say. But don’t skip classes anymore.”
“But! But! Claire-sama!”
“No buts. And I won’t take no for an answer. I will be fine. Just bring me food for breakfast and lunch, okay?”
Suddenly, Rae wrapped her arms around me and rested her head on mine. “Yes, okay. If it means you will rest more.”
I know I have let her get this close to me for some time now. But this proximity has reminded me once again of the dream I had earlier. It was long ago when I was still afraid to let myself get close to her. But now, a part of me wants to let go of it all and let Rae completely into my life. There is no need to rush. Surely, we can take our time, right? I have yet to sort out my feelings. Rae has assured me that she will stay by my side. For now, that is enough.
However, maybe I can let myself get carried away with my desire. Even just a bit.
The lights were already off, and we were about ready to go to bed. Rae wanted to wait for me to fall asleep like usual but this time, I didn’t want to let her.
“Rae, just go to sleep now. I can see that you are already tired.”
“I’m not that tired.”
“No, listen to me this once.” I started pushing her to the door.
“Claire-sama doesn’t need me anymore?” She faked a sniffle as she faced my direction.
“I-It’s not like that!”
“So, you do admit that you need me?”
“Wha!! S-Shut up!”
She caught me off guard with her antics once again making me push her harder out of the room. Rae only giggled at this while I was all flustered.
“Then at least I will let Ralaire stay with you.” Ralaire jumped to my head as if on cue.
“Okay, I guess that’s fine.”
“Good night, Claire-sama. I will be going now.”
Rae had already turned to leave when the surge of courage suddenly came to me.
“Rae, wait,” I called out to her. Then my hand grabbed her arm making her turn her way back to me. She looked at me confused, or at least that’s what I saw for the split second I saw her whole face before I got too close for comfort and closed my eyes pressing my lips to her soft cheek. I even made a faint sound with my lips as I pulled away.
“That is my reward to you for taking care of me today. Thank you, Rae.”
“!!!!”
I have never seen Rae so flushed before. It seemed like she was still processing what just happened. I could feel the heat on my face too, and my heart pounding. But seeing how much impact my action had on her gave me a strange courage to say the following.
“You told me before that I never miss. But I will have you know that I could miss my target on purpose too,” and even gave her a wink. “Good night, Rae,” was the last thing I said before going back inside my room and closing the door.
I screamed silently into my hand not knowing what to do with myself.