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Apparently, Alhaitham punched someone in the face.
It wasn’t that surprising. At least, not to Kaveh.
Kaveh sighed, leaning against his and Alhaitham’s front doorway with his arms crossed. “You can’t exactly expect him to change his temperament just because he got a promotion.”
Alhaitham’s secretary threw up her hands in disbelief. “It’s not just a promotion! He’s the Acting Grand Sage! He absolutely cannot punch people in the face!”
“So you’ve come to talk some sense into him?” Kaveh shrugged. “I don’t know where he’s run off to, so looks like you’re out of luck.”
The woman deflated with a groan. Kaveh almost felt bad for her, having to attempt to wrangle Alhaitham into the mold the Akademiya wanted him in. “I see,” she said. “I apologize for raising my voice, Mr. Kaveh.”
He waved a hand nonchalantly. “Don’t worry about it. I know how it is.”
She nodded. “Thank you. If you happen to see the Acting Grand Sage please let him know Effendi wants to speak to him immediately regarding this matter.” She somehow deflated even more. “The man he punched was a Mahamata’s brother.”
Kaveh cringed. “Right. I’ll let him know.”
She nodded again. “Thank you. Have a good rest of your evening.”
He waited for her to disappear from view down the street before closing the door.
Heaving a sigh, he turned with his hands on his hips to face the sprout of silver hair peeking out from behind the divan. “Care to explain what the hell that was, Mr. Acting Grand Sage?”
Alhaitham didn’t answer, and Kaveh heard the flip of a page turning.
Kaveh shook his head. “Honestly, what am I going to do with you?” He said, walking around the divan to glare down at Alhaitham.
Alhaitham was sprawled out there without a care in the world, reading a book in a language Kaveh didn’t recognize. The only tell of any acknowledgment that his secretary was attempting to hunt him down was his slumped posture to hide from view of the door.
“Alhaitham,” Kaveh warned. Alhaitham glanced at him from the corner of his eye. Kaveh raised a brow expectantly. “I could have easily let her in and given you away. You’re not even going to thank me?”
“Thank you,” Alhaitham grumbled, turning back to his book without another word.
Kaveh frowned. Usually he’d snap something about Alhaitham giving him attitude, but something about the exhaustion in Alhaitham’s posture was making him actually feel bad for him.
In the weeks following his promotion, Alhaitham’s mood had steadily deteriorated. Initially he’d been in high spirits, satisfied with Lord Kusanali’s newfound freedom and the exiling of Azar. Kaveh secretly hoped his own return from the desert had contributed to Alhaitham’s good mood.
Then they made him Grand Sage and everything started going downhill. Well, not on paper. On paper everything was going incredibly well, because it was Alhaitham, and obviously he wasn’t going to do a bad job. But shadows had bloomed under his sharp eyes. Every day he came home later than he’d ever willingly do so, Kaveh asked how his day went, and he grumbled about not having time to read because everyone around him was completely incompetent.
So when Alhaitham came home before the sun set for once just for his secretary to knock on the door thirty minutes later, Kaveh had gone along with Alhaitham’s insistence of “I’m not here,” complying out of pity more than anything else. Also, he didn’t appreciate the woman intruding upon work-home boundaries, but that was an issue for another day.
“I thought she was just coming to pester you about going home early today,” Kaveh said. “You know, just because you don’t like being Grand Sage doesn’t mean you can go around punching people.”
“Acting Grand Sage,” Alhaitham corrected. “And I don’t go around punching people. I punched one person.”
Kaveh rolled his eyes as he sat on the chair opposite the divan. The only reason Alhaitham didn’t resort to violence more often was because he usually didn’t care enough about anything to go that far. But he got into fights as a kid, something only Kaveh knew because only Kaveh cared to ask. Because Kaveh was immensely curious about everything having to do with this man.
He’d have to be strategic if he wanted to find out what the hell got Alhaitham worked up enough to punch someone. Alhaitham was already clearly not in the mood to talk, and especially not about something that Kaveh would classify as a big deal. Kaveh would have to be careful not to overreact, not to push too hard, and not to give his curiosity away lest Alhaitham turn this into a game for his own entertainment.
“And when did this happen?” Kaveh asked.
“Last night,” Alhaitham mumbled, flipping another page.
Kaveh hummed. “Last night? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t think it was important,” Alhaitham said. He slumped somehow further down the divan. “I don’t want to talk right now.”
“I know,” Kaveh said. “But you punched someone. We kind of have to talk.”
“We don’t have to do anything,” Alhaitham answered. “It doesn’t concern you, so don’t worry about it.”
Kaveh groaned. “Must you be so stubborn? I just want to know what happened.”
Alhaitham finally glanced over at him. He squinted at Kaveh for a moment. “Why are you sitting over there?” He finally said.
“Don’t change the subject,” Kaveh chided.
Alhaitham turned back to his book. “Come back over here and I’ll answer your questions.”
Kaveh rolled his eyes. He’d had Alhaitham’s head in his lap before the secretary had knocked. Alhaitham was prone to migraines, and Kaveh was good at acupressure. “You are so spoiled.”
“I’m not spoiled. My head hurts,” Alhaitham complained.
Kaveh stood with a little huff. “You are spoiled.” Kaveh brought him his lunch when he forgot it, made him all his favorite fruits and brought him oranges from the market, massaged his head and tidied up his books when he left them everywhere around the house. He sat on the divan by Alhaitham’s head and patted his lap for Alhaitham to lie down. “Spoiled rotten and we both know it.” He wasn’t complaining about it, as much as he was trying to sound like he was. He’d spoil Alhaitham up and down just to make his day the slightest bit easier. Like it was some kind of apology for everything.
After their horrible break up, Kaveh had moved to Fontaine just to make sure he never saw Alhaitham again. Because he was so fucking in love it was unbearable, and he absolutely could not let Alhaitham walk away from him. So he beat him to it, like the genius he was. Screamed at him and cursed him out to make sure he hated Kaveh, to make sure this wouldn’t hurt him as bad as it hurt Kaveh.
“Why?” Alhaitham cried. It was the first time Kaveh ever saw him cry. “Why don’t you want me anymore?”
“I never fucking wanted you!” Kaveh snapped, tears streaming down his own cheeks. “I never want to speak to you again!”
But Alhaitham never did what Kaveh wanted him to. Because when Kaveh returned to Sumeru, he forgave him as easily as breathing. Even let him into his home like a fool.
“Spoiled rotten,” Alhaitham echoed with an amused little smirk. “And who’s fault is that?”
Kaveh scoffed as he pulled Alhaitham to lay down with his head in his lap. “Shut up.” Alhaitham didn’t seem offended in the slightest, completely placated by Kaveh’s fingers in his hair. He even let his book fall limp to his chest, letting his eyes slip close with a content hum.
This way, Kaveh could openly stare without constraint. He brushed Alhaitham’s hair away from his face, strands like pure silver slipping through his fingers, and let his touch slide down to cup his cheek. His skin was warm, and Kaveh’s fingers moved to trace the cut of his jaw, a little smile tugging at his lips at the stubble. Alhaitham could be an outright asshole when he wanted to be, arrogant, snarky commentary always on the tip of his tongue, but God if he wasn’t the prettiest thing Kaveh had ever seen.
Alhaitham made an impatient little noise, and Kaveh hummed quietly. He ran a thumb feather-light under Alhaitham’s dark circles, tracing a path to his temple to begin massaging his pressure points. Alhaitham’s relief was palpable as his whole body relaxed against Kaveh's.
“Hey,” Kaveh murmured. “Don’t fall asleep. You still have some explaining to do.” Alhaitham grumbled something unintelligible, shifting to curl closer into Kaveh. “You should tell me before I find out from someone else,” Kaveh commented idly.
“It was Abhay,” Alhaitham mumbled.
Kaveh’s fingers froze.
If there was anyone in Sumeru he actively avoided more than Dori, it was Abhay.
A fellow Ksharewar architect, the man was a few years older than Kaveh, but graduated later than Alhaitham. He was the entitled type that always hated Kaveh for being the pride and joy of Ksharewar, and constantly talked trash about him, behind his back or not. A sixteen-year-old Alhaitham’s first introduction with the man had been disastrous.
Abhay squinted down at Alhaitham. “How old are you, kid?”
Alhaitham glared up at the man, and Kaveh felt a sudden sense of foreboding. “Who’s asking?” Alhaitham said flatly.
Kaveh swore a vein appeared on Abhay’s forehead. “Hey, do you know who the hell you’re talking to?”
”No, and I don’t particularly care to, either. See ya,” Alhaitham turned away from where the man had approached him and Kaveh outside the House of Daena. He took Kaveh’s wrist and started walking.
”Hey!” The man reached forward and grabbed Alhaitham’s shoulder, yanking him back. “I asked you a question, brat.”
Alhaitham smacked the man’s hand away and Kaveh could just tell there was an insult on the tip of his tongue—
“Ah, sorry about him, Senior Abhay,” Kaveh quickly cut in, missing the way Alhaitham’s eyes lit up in recognition. In retrospect, maybe he shouldn’t have used the man’s name when he complained about him to Alhaitham. “He’s only been here a few months.” He laughed awkwardly.
The man glared at the two of them. “I didn’t realize your incompetence extended to your choice of company, Kaveh.” He spat Kaveh’s name out with such force that Kaveh cringed.
Alhaitham released Kaveh’s wrist. Faster than Kaveh could stop him, Alhaitham reared his fist back and punched Abhay square in the face.
He’d gotten a detention for that. He always said it was worth it, especially because the man gave the two of them a wide berth after that.
“I happened to run into him at Lambad’s,” Alhaitham grumbled. “He was polluting my ears with his nonsense, and I was short on patience.”
“Alhaitham,” Kaveh said sternly.
Alhaitham cracked an eye open to look up at Kaveh. “What?”
“You didn't just happen to run into him, did you?”
Alhaitham hummed. “Perceptive as always.”
“I thought you'd forgotten about that. I told you it wasn’t a big deal,” Kaveh hissed, his touch gentle as he ran his thumb back and forth across Alhaitham’s cheek.
Two weeks ago, they’d had a long conversation over dinner, and Kaveh ended up venting about Abhay.
“You know that commission I’ve been slaving over?” Kaveh started. Alhaitham nodded. “Guess who this client decided to add to the project.”
Alhaitham chewed a bite of steak thoughtfully for a moment. “Kabir?”
“Nope.” Kaveh leaned forward dramatically. “Fucking Abhay.”
Alhaitham’s expression immediately soured. “Oh.”
“Yeah, and he—ugh!” Kaveh tangled a hand in his hair as he recalled the horrifying sequence of events that day. “He kept shitting on all my plans I’ve been working on for weeks, and to top it off, he started gossiping about you to my client! Can you believe he thinks you’ve been slacking off? The audacity!”
Alhaitham stabbed a vegetable with his fork. “He can gossip about me all he wants. What did he say about your plans?”
Kaveh ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “He called them poorly thought out and an accurate reflection of my architectural prowess, or lack thereof.” Kaveh grit his teeth. “God, I usually wouldn’t be so pissed, but he’s been talking down to me for years, and—“ he cut himself off, forcing his hands away from his head to take a swig of wine from his goblet. It was the expensive kind that Alhaitham brought home when he was trying to apologize. They’d had a minor argument that morning before Alhaitham left for work, one that Kaveh hardly thought warranted an apology, but it seemed they were both wrung dry from working and being extra careful around each other. It wasn’t fun being tired and in a fight with the person you lived with, they’d learned from experience.
“And you’re sick of it,” Alhaitham filled in. “I can pull some strings to get him off that project, if you like.”
Kaveh waved the idea off. “No, no. If he really thinks my plans have flaws then there must be a way to improve them.”
Alhaitham shrugged. “I thought they looked pretty good.”
“Yes, but your eye for aesthetics is abysmal at best.” He sighed. “As much as it pains me to admit it, Abhay is a good architect.” He downed his wine and slid the goblet away. A comfortable buzz had settled at the front of his mind, and it was making his tongue loose. “After my client left, we had a pretty bad argument.” He bit the inside of his cheek. “It was horrible. He’s horrible.”
Alhaitham’s eyes narrowed and he put his fork down. “What did he say to you?”
Kaveh shook his head. It was definitely a bad idea to tell Alhaitham any of this, but he desperately needed to tell someone, and as much as he denied it in his sobriety, he’d rather talk with Alhaitham about personal matters than anyone else. “Well, he’d already brought you up to my client, and I’d defended you, and yeah, maybe I was a little harsh with my wording, but he—after my client left, I told him he had a stick up his ass and he started yelling, and he brought up—“ he sucked in a sharp inhale mid-ramble, “he brought up our—our thing we had,” God, he couldn’t believe he’d just acknowledged their past, that was certainly the first time since he’d moved in, “and how I was just defending you because of that.” Kaveh shook his head. “And he kept being so aggressive I just snapped and said you were a better man than he could ever hope to be, because you know he actually kind of had feelings for me back then, and he—“ tears sprung to his eyes and he clenched his fists. “He said it didn’t matter because I don’t deserve a good man anyways, and that I’m just like my mother.” The tears he’d held back since that argument spilled over. “He said I’m just like her, and—“ his voice wobbled uncontrollably, “and that I’ll die alone because I’m utterly unlovable.”
The sound of glass crunching pulled a startled gasp out of him, and he snapped his head up where he’d dropped it to hide his tears.
Alhaitham’s fist was bleeding around his crushed glass, wine spilling past his white knuckled grip to mix with his blood dripping to the table.
He stared blankly at his trembling fist, inexplicably squeezing it tighter around the shards of glass. Kaveh’s mouth hung agape in shock. “Alhaitham—!”
Alhaitham abruptly stood, his chair sliding back with a screech as he relaxed his hand without so much a a flinch, broken glass clinking to the floor. “Apologies,” he growled low in his throat, swiftly stalking past Kaveh frozen stock-still to disappear into the kitchen.
The shock had stopped his tears, and as he heard the sink turn on, he scrambled to his feet. “Alhaitham, what—“
“I’ll clean it up,” Alhaitham hissed, and his tone sent a shiver down Kaveh’s spine. Quiet rage always scared him more than screaming. Alhaitham must have taken notice of Kaveh’s silence, because he glanced up from where he’d been pulling glass from his palm, and oh God that was a lot of blood— “Go rest. I’ll clean everything up.” His eyes didn’t allow room for discussion, and somehow Kaveh felt he wasn’t just talking about the dishes, so he quickly nodded, wiping the tear-tracks from his face with the back of his hand.
He turned to give Alhaitham the space he needed, but before he could leave, Alhaitham called his name. “Kaveh.”
Kaveh froze.
“Don’t meet that client tomorrow.”
Kaveh spun around with a frown. “Alhaitham—“
“Don’t meet that client tomorrow,” Alhaitham repeated, and his fist had clenched again, spilling blood into the sink.
“I’ve been working on this project for weeks, I’m not abandoning it now!”
“I’m not asking you to abandon it,” Alhaitham said, voice ice-cold. “I’m asking you to give me a day.”
Kaveh swallowed past the lump in his throat. “Haitham. Don’t do anything stupid. Please.”
Alhaitham turned back to his hand without another word.
“I’m serious,” Kaveh tried. “It’s—it’s not a big deal. I’m just tired and I haven’t slept much. It’s fine.”
“Go rest,” Alhaitham repeated. “I’ll take care of everything.”
And he certainly had. A man of his word, as always.
“I can’t believe you went looking for him,” Kaveh murmured, petting Alhaitham’s hair gently. “Well, actually, I can, but still. I thought you’d become slightly more mature." Kaveh pressed down carefully on the pressure point at Alhaitham’s temple, and Alhaitham made a pleased little noise. He turned to press his face against Kaveh’s stomach, and Kaveh huffed. “Hey, are you even listening to me?”
“Yes,” Alhaitham mumbled. “You think I’m immature.”
“Because you are,” Kaveh scolded softly. “You hunted down Abhay like a psycho.”
“He made you cry,” Alhaitham said, like that was the only reason he needed.
Alhaitham suddenly sat up so quickly that Kaveh jumped, having been lulled into some kind of trance by Alhaitham’s proximity. But Alhaitham’s eyes were razor sharp, expression no longer relaxed.
Kaveh blinked. “What? Did that spot hurt?”
Alhaitham shook his head. “Nobody is allowed to talk to you like that,” he said. Kaveh’s eyes widened. “I will not allow it.” He leaned closer and Kaveh’s breath caught. “If this ever happens again, you tell me immediately. Don’t wait even a day.” His hand reached for Kaveh’s and squeezed. “It doesn’t matter if I’m busy. You come to me right away.”
Kaveh searched Alhaitham’s face for any traces of dishonesty, and found none. “Alhaitham…”
“Promise you will do that for me,” Alhaitham said.
The terrible sting of tears sprung to life behind his eyes. “Okay,” he whispered.
Alhaitham waited a moment to make sure Kaveh wouldn’t change his mind, then nodded. “Good.” He blinked, and they were so close he couldn’t miss the way Kaveh’s eyes were glazing over. He smiled softly. “Thank you.”
Kaveh’s lip wobbled. “I told you it wasn’t a big deal,” Kaveh repeated, “and I told you not to do anything stupid. Why don’t you ever listen to me?”
“It is a big deal,” Alhaitham answered quietly.
Kaveh laughed wetly, and the tears spilled over. “When—when your secretary told me you punched someone, I never would have guessed it was Abhay. I thought it might have been a follower of Azar.”
Alhaitham lifted the hand not holding Kaveh’s to cup his face, and Kaveh’s breath caught. This was dangerous. “It only took this long because he left the city. I told you I’d take care of everything."
Kaveh sniffled. “Yes, but I didn’t think that meant punching him.”
Alhaitham’s thumb moved to swipe away a tear. “I’d have done a lot worse if it weren’t for Lambad holding me back.” A little sob wrenched its way past Kaveh’s throat, and his hand flew up to cover his mouth with a choked gasp. Alhaitham’s expression fell. “Kaveh—“
“Don’t do this to me,” Kaveh’s voice shook. “You can’t.” Kaveh didn’t miss the way Alhaitham’s eyes flitted down to his mouth. “You can’t.”
“Why not?” Alhaitham murmured. They were already so close, and Alhaitham tilted his head instinctively like they might actually kiss. He smelled like incense and jasmine and home, and another little hiccup escaped Kaveh.
“You can’t care like this. Not anymore,” Kaveh whispered.
“Why not?” Alhaitham asked again. “You know I can’t help it.”
Kaveh caved and closed the gap between them.
His hands scrabbled to clutch at the back of Alhaitham’s shirt, pulling him in closer yet as Alhaitham cupped his face, steadying Kaveh in his desperation. The warmth of his palms send tingles up Kaveh’s spine, and Kaveh slid his hands up to tangle in Alhaitham’s hair.
Kissing Alhaitham never got old. He kissed Kaveh the way he needed, the way no fling before or after him had ever managed to. He did all the right things, moved in all the right ways. Or maybe it was always right because it was him. Made his stomach flip and his heart twist into knots just with the brush of his fingers against Kaveh’s neck.
Kaveh couldn’t help from crying into the kiss, and Alhaitham’s eyes fluttered open.
”No,” he rasped against Kaveh’s lips. “Don’t cry anymore.”
Kaveh cupped Alhaitham’s face with shaking hands, memorizing the details of his face in case they were never this close again. “You’re beautiful,” Kaveh whispered.
When he’d been living with his mother in Fontaine after graduating, he’d been extremely depressed. His mother asked him why, and he’d been honest, like a fool.
“For God’s sake, Kaveh,” his mother scoffed. “He’s just a man.”
“No, he’s not,” Kaveh said.
“Oh so what are you telling me? That your career is over and this was all a waste of time because he was the love of your life and this was the man for you?”
Kaveh cringed, fists clenching in his lap. “I don’t know, mom. He might’ve been.”
Alhaitham leaned forward infinitesimally and Kaveh hastily pulled him back in. Alhaitham knew him, and he knew him well, because he didn’t break the kiss again when Kaveh’s breath stuttered and hiccuped, and it only made Kaveh press closer yet for more. So Alhaitham bit Kaveh’s bottom lip the way Kaveh liked, licked into Kaveh’s mouth the way Kaveh needed. His head spun when Alhaitham groaned low in his throat and broke away from his lips to trail kisses down his neck. He bit his lip to keep from sobbing when Alhaitham nipped at a particular spot on his neck, because of course Alhaitham hadn’t forgotten where Kaveh liked him leaving hickeys.
Alhaitham pulled away and looked into Kaveh’s teary eyes. “Don’t cry,” he murmured.
“I’m sorry,” Kaveh sniffled. “I’m so sorry for everything.”
Alhaitham’s eyes fluttered open, and there was so much adoration there Kaveh couldn’t help a quiet whimper. “‘S fine. Don’t worry about it.”
Kaveh’s expression crumpled. “How can you say that? How—how can you forgive me after everything?”
Alhaitham hummed, his thumb moving back and forth across Kaveh’s cheek. “Kiss me once and I’d forgive anything at all.”
Kaveh hiccuped. “I was terrible to you. After everything you did for me, I broke your heart.”
“And I said it’s alright. Do it again if you like. I’ll be here.”
“Alhaitham, stop,” Kaveh whimpered.
“Mm, sorry, love,” he murmured. “I know you don’t like it.”
“No,” Kaveh said. “I don’t want to make you wait anymore. I’m in love with you,” he sobbed. “I’ve been in love with you since the beginning.”
Alhaitham pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I love you too, Kaveh,” he whispered, a crooked little smile on his face.
Kaveh broke down. He buried his face in the crook of Alhaitham’s neck and sobbed, because why the fuck was this happening tonight? Why did it only take Alhaitham punching someone in the face for their relationship dynamic to be irrevocably changed?
Though it wasn’t really changing all that much, was it? Alhaitham was still here, and Alhaitham would always be here, because that’s just the way he was. Alhaitham still loved Kaveh, and Kaveh still loved Alhaitham, and the love never really went away in the first place, did it?
“I love you,” Kaveh hiccuped. “I love you so much.”
Alhaitham’s hands stuttered where they’d been rubbing Kaveh’s back. “Me too,” he whispered under his breath.
“I don’t want to hurt you anymore,” Kaveh said, “but I know I will. I always do. I—I don’t think I’ll be able to take it again.”
Alhaitham turned his head to press a kiss to Kaveh’s temple. “That’s quite alright,” he murmured. “I don’t mind.”
Kaveh pulled away to hurriedly press his lips to Alhaitham’s. He’d missed him so much. He’d missed his recklessness, his blunt honesty, the curve of his stupid, crooked little grin against Kaveh’s lips. “I want to make you happy,” Kaveh sniffled.
“You do,” Alhaitham answered. “You spoil me rotten, don’t you?”
Kaveh blinked. Alhaitham’s eyes had always been beautiful, teal and amethyst and sharp as a hawk’s. He always felt a wave of familiarity when he looked into them, like they’d looked at each other countless times in a past life. But for the first time, he saw in them a relief so palpable it was sure to be reflected in Kaveh’s own. The relief of coming home, of finally, of a new beginning.
Kaveh nodded with a wet little laugh. “I suppose I do.”