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Lucy’s sitting on the couch, feet curled up under her, picking at the blanket spread across her lap, minding still going a mile a minute over their current case, the detectives exam and her fight with Tim. She’s running the thumb of her free hand over the screen of her phone as if willing it to ding.
Though she’s pulled out of her thoughts by a slight knock.
Lucy opens her door and is surprised to see Tim - however, he’s not directly in front of her door. Instead, he’s leaning against the opposite wall, as if, while still checking on her, still wants to give her space.
“Tim,” she breathes out, leaning against the door.
He wasn’t the first person she expected to see - sure he’d be roped into a late night with Metro; but here he was. Sure they’ve seen each other in passing throughout the day - but it wasn’t enough to have the conversation they needed to have - or even if they were.
Lucy’s brain had been doing a number on her for the majority of her shift.
He doesn’t care.
Tim’s just like everyone else.
He’s gonna walk away for good.
“Brought a peace offering,” he gestures towards her feet; but doesn’t move. “And I know we need to have an more in depth conversation.”
It’s then that Lucy glances down, and sees a take out bag sitting just outside her door. From the logo on the bag and the smell, she knows it’s from their usual place when they’re too tired to cook after mutual long days.
She glances up and looks at him, really looks at him. He looks about as tired and run down as she feels. As if the aftermath of their argument affected him, just as much as it had her.
“I’m sorry –
“Sorry -”
They both start at the same time, talking over each other; just to stumble into silence.
“You can go first,” Tim tells her.
Lucy shakes her head, letting out a sigh. “You can…” she lets her eyes fall closed for a moment, wondering why this feels so awkward.
“I wasn’t trying to undermine you.”
“I know,” she responds, meeting his gaze and she does - even if a part of her brain tried to tell her that he was. “I do - it’s just -” she waves her hand around in the air. “Sometimes, I get too in my head…”
She knows exactly why she does it - why it happens every single time she goes to make any decision. Her parents and everything they’ve instilled in her growing up.
“I should have been more supportive.”
But Lucy cuts her off. “You were , Tim… Maybe I just overreacted,” she goes to placate but Tim is shaking his head.
“If it was an anxiety attack,” Tim says, slowly pushing away from the way to stand in front of her door. “It’s valid, Luce.”
Lucy sucks in a breath, not expecting him to say that.
Tim shrugs and glances down. “I couldn’t sleep last night, I looked some things up.”
Lucy smirks. “Did you do some studying of your own Bradford?”
“I meant what I’ve said when I told you I want this to work,” Tim says, earnestly, meeting her gaze and she sees the longing in his eyes. “I’m still trying to figure out how all this works –” he takes a breath and runs a hand through his hair.
“I don’t want this to ruin us.”
“It’s not ,” he shakes his head. “Not unless we let it….I just… I want us to be good.”
Lucy bends over, picking up the coffee and the bag. “We’re going to be… I want this to work too. I was actually kind of afraid I’d messed it up when you left last night.”
“It was a long day and emotions were running high,” Tim says after a while, as if he was warring with what to say. “I didn’t want either of us to end up saying something we couldn’t take back.”
Lucy steps aside and wordlessly invites Tim in.
“Maybe I could have worded it differently,” Tim finds his voice while Lucy pulls out a couple of plates and silverware. “I just want you to be happy with your career; in whatever you choose to do; but I want it to be your choice.”
Lucy looks at him, a small smile on her face.
Tim reaches for the take out bag to start pulling out food containers. “I didn’t want to sway you one way or another… to where you might resent me for it.”
“I wouldn’t…”
“You might, ” Tim says, slowly, a grimace on his face. “You started resenting Chris when he started doing things without consulting you.”
Lucy opens her mouth; but closes it again because he’s not exactly wrong. She busies herself with helping Tim dish out the food onto their respectful plates, trying to work out exactly what she’s trying to say.
“I guess,” she hedges slowly. “My parents really messed me up in how I’m second guessing everything… They’ve never supported my decision to join the academy. They hate that I’m a cop and keep telling me I can do anything else.”
“And that’s why you reacted the way you did yesterday.”
Lucy nods, tucking her hair behind her head. “I think those voices are in the back of my head…”
“And what I said probably didn’t help.”
Lucy reaches across the island, placing her hand over his. “You were trying to be supportive - I just…wasn’t hearing it. Not really.”
Tim flips their hands so that he can run his thumb over the back of her hand. “Lucy, I think that you’re going to crush the detectives exam - because as your former T.O. I know exactly what kind of cop that you are and what kind of detective you can be.”
He reaches over with his free hand and tabs his index finger against the side of Lucy’s head. “No matter what this little monster hidden away in there tries to tell you.”
She closes her eyes for a moment and lets his words sink in, really sink in. This is Tim they’re talking about; he’s been one of the few people in her life recently who has ever really supported her; would always be there.
She was just spiraling a little too hard and took it out on him.
“I’m still sorry.”
Tim moves his hand to cup her cheek. “I’m not going anywhere,” he tells her firmly. “Whatever you end up taking out on me… it’s not gonna run me off.”
She leans into his touch.
Lucy knows they still have a lot more to talk about, a deeper conversation to be had - more she wants to tell them; but for now, she can be okay knowing that they’re going to be okay. That this little bump in the road isn’t going to end them. They’re stronger than that.
“I won’t lie and say I won’t ask for space again if we end up in another fight like that,” Tim admits. “But –”
“But we’ll always come back and talk about it?”
Tim nods. “That’s a promise.”