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He's sick, they told him. His doctors, his parents. And god did their cruel words ever worsen. His date was sealed the day his paperwork was filed.
"Simon Riley [Little: 0-3]"
Just like that his life was over, age 12 and unable to run away with every piece of paper work and documentation making him permanently his father's. Oh how it made his skin crawl.
Years were spent fighting himself back. He'd shrink to that headspace, and so would his body. But his parents didn't wipe his tears or clean him up. Poor Tommy took a lot of it. A caregiver by nature, but an addict because of their father. His mother was practically out of the picture with how little she could help.
His first thought was military. But the more research he did, the less it seemed possible. Any job deemed scary or laborious wasn't allowed for a little. It was even on his fucking ID when he was old enough to save one. By 18, he was making Tommy sign in paperwork claiming that Simon was neutral. And as Tommy was listed a legal carer (his father's doing), it went through. Tommy was too high, hungover or sick to realize what he was doing, which Simon took advantage of.
It took years for him to crash again. Years to curl up in his bed in the cold, cold room he stayed in. Lieutenant, they called him. His team. His Captain, Mactavish, what would he think? His other teammates... Gaz, Roach. God they'd be disgusted.
The size of a baby curled up under a ton of blankets just waiting to feel big again. All he could do was hide anyway. No one should ever be allowed to see him like this-Simon didn't even think they'd hesitate to throw him out. Come morning, it was no easier. He was still too tiny to even get himself out of bed. He'd fall on the floor, that's how tiny he was. He probably couldn't even walk...
How late was he for breakfast? The alarm went off earlier, causing him to screech in terror before he pulled his blankets back over himself. It was a dandelion game to play, getting to far into the military then crashing in bed and physically unable to get help and unable to get himself to feel big again.
It was all scary. Terrifying, even. In any other situation, his captain would be right at his side. Mactavish would've been there. But this? For this he was alone. Always alone.
He's sick. Something in his head made him sick. Different from everyone else and weak. Weak because he of his fear. Because of his regression... Some days he was lucky almost all of his file was blacked out, others not so much. He needed help.
And the longer he stayed in bed, unable to get out, just the size of a wee kiddo, maybe it would come. Mactavish always came to him if he wasn't at meal times on time.
Soon enough that familiar knock rang through his room. Fuck, Simon couldn't help the cry that came from him. His chest heaving with the intensity of it. In no more than a second, Mactavish was in the room and looking for him.
It only took a minute for Simon to be lifted into the captain's arms. Sobs falling from his lips as his tiny hands grabbed at his shirt.
"Are ye my Si, wee one?" Mactavish asked, swaying with him. Of course he was, but it was pretty much instinct to be a little playful and sweet like that.
Obviously Simon couldn't exactly respond. He tugged at his shirt weakly, his little legs kicking at the air as he cried.
"Oh, Si... Simon, love..." Soap murmured. His heart beating insanely fast with the little one clutching onto him. He didn't even know Simon regressed... He has his suspicions, but this? Regressing so small? Small enough to fit perfectly on his chest with just one hand holding him?
The wailing settled enough for Simon to hear Mactavish talking to him. His captain but that didn't matter anymore- He didn't see a captain looking at him, maybe a friend instead. He tugged at his shirt and whimpered.
"yeah, I know... Ye're too small, huh? Didn't ye get taught to ask for help when ye need it, wee one?" Mactavish asked softly, brushing over the very short hair on his head. Dark, not quite black though. Carefully, he sat back on Simon's bed with him in his arms, tears reduced to hiccups.
"I wish ye woulda told me, Simon... Somethin' stressed ye out and ye crashed... Not good for ye." Mactavish told him, rocking Simon in his arms. Slow and gentle. "Do ye even have anything for this?" He worried.
And Simon couldn't tell him, only point or whine. But no, no he didn't have anything because he never wanted this to happen. He thought he could control it enough- but no, he couldn't. He was weak.
"Simon, hey, M'eudail... It's okay. We'll get ye stuff." Soap didn't know how he'd get him off base without being seen, he didn't say that to Simon though. He needed the little one's trust.
"I know ye're scared.. I've got this, okay? I've got you." Mactavish promised him. Using a smaller blanket he found, he gently swaddled Simon up and got him cozy. The little one didn't whine or cry, he actually relaxed quite a bit.
Simon babbled up at Soap, wiggling before settling into the warm blanket.
"Oh yeah, baby? Tell me." Soap cooed softly at him as he picked Simon back up. All swaddled and cute. Albeit a little messy.
Simon giggled and babbled a little more at the encouragement. For the first time, he didn't feel scared when he was small. He wasn't going to be shouted at, hit, or anything else... He should know his captain was safe, this was just surprising...
"Yeah?? That's a lot, Darlin'." Mactavish was so sweet. Fueling his babbling while he made sure Simon was comfortable.
The two went back and forth with babbling for a long while, until they did have to figure out where to get Simon things like pacis and other baby needs. Though he should have, Soap didn't really hide Simon, just covering his face since he knew that he wouldn't want people seeing. So he held Simon just right and let him nuzzle into his neck. The few people that saw were definitely confused, but no on questioned it. Not with Mactavish glaring at anyone who tried.
Of course he didn't drive, he carefully walked with Simon in his arms to a near by town to grab the things they needed. The basics, pacis, dips, bottles, formula, and some baby bath stuff. And Simon squealed at the bubble bath stuff that Soap grabbed, making him chuckle and poke Si's side.
Getting back into base was the same thing, glaring at anyone who asked anything about the little one on his chest. He wasn't up for questions and he didn't want Si being pestered later when he was big. It was easier to avoid. The first thing he did when inside his own room, he got Simon padded up and a cleaned paci (washed in his sink just in case).
Simon didn't whine or kick his legs. He was well behaved, actually... He babbled a little, muffled by his paci but Soap still responded.
Oh how he loved it... It was so easy to relax like this. Being put gently back over Mactavish's chest while swaddled up all comfortable. How could he not relax?
Being talked to helped a lot too, Mactavish's voice working to ease him further. Si liked the gentle rumble of his chest and hearing his silly accent.
A nap was in order the second Simon's eyes began to close. Soap swayed with him side to side while humming an unfamiliar tune to him, but it all felt safe nonetheless. There was no pushing for a nap, no leaving him in a room and waiting for him to pass out. No, this was gentle coaxing until he fell asleep naturally.
Maybe this would all go away in the morning, but maybe it would be okay to happen again- Mactavish wasn't cruel. He showed no signs of mistrust or betrayal about Simon's many lies regarding his classification. He was just as warm as he usually was to him, if not more.
Simon was safe like this. Happy and warm. Never had he fallen asleep so easily before. Protected by his Captain's arms and comforted by his voice. There was no better person to be helped by.