Work Text:
⋆˚☆˖°
There is this allegory, about people who were once two halves of a whole, but something splits them apart one day, and they spend their whole lives looking for their other half so they can fit back together.
Jay wonders if such a person exists for him, if he is that one half of the whole.
Jay also wonders if a person really has to be someone’s past, present or future. Why can’t they just be a moment? A moment so memorable that it becomes enough for a lifetime.
A moment that shows up in the form of spare change on a chilly night by the gates of Namgang High.
In the form of a boy with a crown of soft, black hair that perfectly frames his face.
⋆˚☆˖°
“See you tomorrow!” Jungwon slings his backpack higher over his shoulder and gives a small wave to Sunoo. A gust of wind sweeps through the air and he shudders involuntarily.
Sunoo smiles and waves back, eyes softening into tired crescents. “See you, Jungwon.”
As the clock strikes midnight, the library is bathed in a dim glow, illuminated solely by the moon that hangs high in the night sky. It’s empty, save for the couple of students packing up the last of their belongings, getting ready to call it a night.
It’s a small comfort to find himself in the company of other students, just as fervorous and exhausted as himself. It’s simply comforting to know that there are people around.
Jungwon hates being alone more than anything else in the world.
But these days, he finds those feelings of loneliness stronger than ever before.
His eyes flit down to the wallet in his hands. It’s a faux leather wallet in gray, and the seams are coming apart but Jungwon still carries it with him anyway. He remembers that one summer afternoon in 2016, when his sister had dropped a brand new wallet into his grubby hands.
“Noona! What’s this?”
She points to the mungujeom (stationery store) right across the street as she lifts the schoolbag off Jungwon’s shoulders and slings it over her own.
“Got you a new wallet for your birthday!” She smooths down Jungwon’s ruffled hair. “You like it?”
“Very much.” A vigorous nod makes Jungwon’s plastic frames slip down the bridge of his nose. He pushes them back up and smiles to himself.
12-year-old Jungwon would never tell her how grateful he felt that day.
On the ride home, she sits right beside him and dozes off, head lolling forward as the bus comes to a stop. Jungwon gently guides her head to rest upon his tiny shoulders as they pull off from the bus stop.
He fishes out a receipt lying at the bottom of the gift bag and stares at the price.
35,000 won.
12-year-old Jungwon would never tell her how he felt like crying on the bus that day.
Now, 17-year-old Jungwon stares back down at the empty wallet. A couple of coins jiggle about in the zipper compartment, but that’s about it, really.
It’s also past midnight, which means all the buses have stopped running.
He’s going to have to find a way to get back home. Jungwon turns around and continues rummaging through his backpack with his chin pressed to his shoulder. As if he’ll magically find a 10,000 won note crumpled up somewhere at the bottom of his bag.
Jungwon is way too fixated on getting to the bottom of his backpack to notice that a boy has walked up to him. He stands there quietly, just watching Jungwon sweat buckets as he mumbles to himself under his breath in annoyance.
“I swear I kept an emergency stash somewhere…”
“Hey.”
“Yeah, hold on a second, I’m trying to find something here…” Jungwon mumbles on as a frown slowly etches itself onto his face.
“No, I mean… Here.” A wad of cash swims into view and Jungwon blinks. He looks up, flustered, and finds a boy standing right in front of him. He’s tall, and he has on a gray hoodie that’s pulled snugly over his head.
“Oh, no, it’s fine, really!” Jungwon flusters and gently pushes the money back to the boy. “Thank you so much, really, it’s fine.”
The boy stuffs the wad of cash into Jungwon’s shirt pocket wordlessly, making sure it’s secure before lightly patting on the pocket.
“You’ll need it.”
Before Jungwon can get another word in, the boy gives him a quick wave goodbye and he’s off, disappearing into the dark of the night. He turns back to look at Jungwon one last time, before he pulls the mask on his face a little higher up on his nose bridge and stuffs his hands into his pockets.
A taxi rumbles by as Jungwon stares off into the distance, and he quickly flags it down with a wave of his arm.
Jungwon clutches onto the wad of cash like it means the world to him. The warm orange lights in the freeway tunnel throw bright stripes into his eyes as he gazes out the window of the taxi.
Something warm swells in the bottom of his heart, and for a moment, Jungwon feels like his 12-year-old self, clutching onto the brand new wallet on the bus ride home that summer evening.
Jungwon wonders how he’d gotten so lucky.
The next morning, he talks about the mysterious Taxi Fee hyung that had saved his ass the night before. Jungwon’s sister listens on in amusement, watching his eyes light up with fascination.
“You know, he could be your guardian angel.”
“That’s just make believe, noona!”
“No, really.” She gives him an affirmative look. “My guardian angel turned out to be my boyfriend, so, see how things work out in the end?” She takes a bite of her sandwich and looks back down to scroll through her phone.
“Who knows, Taxi Fee hyung might come back to save your ass again.” She says nonchalantly as she chews with her mouth full. Jungwon gives her a quizzical look.
“Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be seeing him again anytime soon.” He rolls his eyes and gently flicks his sister on the forehead. “And you need to stop watching all these romantic TV dramas thinking they’re real!”
“It’s a small world, Jungwon-ah. It’s a small, crazy world we live in.” She looks up to give him a sweet smile. Jungwon shrugs and grabs his backpack, heading out of the front door.
“Don’t think about Taxi Fee hyung too much!”
“Ah, you’re so annoying!”
⋆˚☆˖°
Jungwon is pure-hearted. He’s a kaleidoscope of childhood moments, of everything that clings to you like tropical summer humidity. Like broken grass blades and soil that ends up on your ankles and socks.
Picking daisies from the grass out by the soccer field, carefully nestling each one into his sister’s hair. She rolls her eyes and smiles at Jungwon fondly.
Crouching down to shade the cluster of orange wildflowers sprouting from a crack in the sidewalk. Because the sun’s out today, and I don’t want them to get too hot.
Racing through a field as if his cliff has never been written into his story. Like he holds no weight in this world, yet still carries his own life tenderly.
Being starstruck by the snowflake that lands on the tip of his finger. It’s so geometrical and perfect, it’s almost funny to Jungwon, how nature works (and he wonders if there are tiny people hiding up in the clouds, painstakingly carving out each and every snowflake before sending them down to the ground below).
And the air always smells like summer vacation for Jungwon, a promise of something new and fantastical and exciting.
Jungwon is wide-eyed and full of dreams and hopes.
And Jay used to be just like him. He used to watch the wildflowers sprout from the sidewalk too. Used to be fascinated by the first snowfall of winter too.
Jay’s a tall child, forced to grow up in an unforgiving world that takes and takes and takes, and so all Jay can do is to give.
He carries the weight of countless lifetimes on his shoulders. And each one always ends in heartbreak. That’s how it’s always been for him, so now, as he watches Jungwon navigate the world with child-like wonder, he finds a piece of his old self in the boy.
Jay won’t mention how he’d waited for Jungwon by the gates of Namgang High that night.
Jay also won’t mention how he’s been waiting for Jungwon in every single lifetime of his.
⋆˚☆˖°
“Hey, did you hear about the new transfer student?” Sunoo lowers his voice to a whisper as Jungwon makes his way down the aisle of desks and slumps down in his seat.
“Transfer student?” Jungwon mumbles offhandedly as he retrieves his textbooks from underneath his desk. “What about them?”
“Word on the street is that he’s from Japan.”
“Hm… Japan?” Jungwon quirks an eyebrow. "We're like, halfway through the school term. Why is he choosing to transfer at this point?"
Sunoo shrugs and tidies up his notes. “You could ask him when he arrives.”
“Well, it seems pretty irresponsible on his part.”
The question dies in his throat when Jungwon looks back up after a while to find the new student standing at the front of the class, right next to their teacher.
Well, scratch that. Who says you can’t transfer in the middle of a school term? Jungwon thinks and chuckles to himself.
"Class, we have a new student with us!” Mrs Yang beams with pride as she rests a hand on the boy’s left shoulder. “Wanna introduce yourself?”
“Hey, my name’s Jongseong.”
“That’s it?”
“Mhm.” Jongseong shrugs nonchalantly, and Jungwon realizes the boy has been gazing at him this entire time. He doesn’t even turn to look at Mrs Yang when she taps him on the shoulder again.
“Come on, say a little something!”
“Nice to meet you all.” Jongseong resigns and gives a small smile. He’s still looking straight at Jungwon, which makes the younger boy shift uncomfortably in his seat.
He’s tall, with sharp yet soft eyes that seem to dissect every inch of his being. It’s slightly unsettling, but the boy’s so good-looking, Jungwon finds himself staring right at him too.
“You can sit there, by the back, next to Jungwon.” Mrs Yang nods towards where Jungwon is seated, and Jongseong gives a quick nod.
He walks down the aisle with his backpack slung over one shoulder, gaze still not lifting from Jungwon’s face.
“Can I sit here?”
It’s strange how Jongseong’s voice seems to soften almost instantly, but Jungwon simply nods compliantly and pulls his chair out for him. That same warm feeling wells up in his chest again.
The fact that Jongseong asked for permission to sit by him. It’s a small gesture, but it was something Jungwon hadn’t expected from the boy.
“Yeah, sure!”
As Jongseong drops his bag to the floor next to his desk, he whips out a notebook and starts scribbling down something. Jungwon cranes his neck to get a better glimpse, out of curiosity, of course.
He can vaguely make out a couple of Japanese characters, but that’s about it.
“Sunoo-ah, you were right about him, he’s from Japan!” Jungwon turns back to nudge Sunoo’s elbow, whispering behind the cover of their textbooks.
“That’s cool, I hope we get to make friends with him.”
“Yeah, me too, honestly.”
Jungwon turns back around to properly look at the new transfer student. Sunlight streams in through the window blinds, casting soft stripes across his face. Paints soft beams that trace along his jawline and his neck. A little heart-shaped mark sits right below his ear, and Jungwon thinks it’s so cute.
Jungwon thinks everything about him is so cute.
Even as Jongseong turns towards him, hands laced lightly over his torso. Even as Jongseong stares back at him fondly with a tiny pair of parentheses that forms on his face, framing his gentle smile.
Jungwon realizes he’s been staring and looks down at the floor instead, pretending to be fixated on the leg of Jongseong’s desk or anything, really.
“ Boy is very pretty. ” Jungwon breaks out into English all of a sudden, turning back around again to face Sunoo.
“Huh?”
“The boy. Next to me. Pretty face.” Jungwon repeats. “ He look very cool in hoodie. ”
“ He looks very cool in his hoodie, ” Sunoo chuckles and corrects him. “Third person singular in the present tense takes ‘s’, Jungwon-ah.”
“Okay, whatever you say, Professor Kim.”
“Why are you talking in English anyway?”
“So he can’t understand me?” Jungwon whips back around to find Jongseong staring back down at his textbook with his eyebrows furrowed. “So I can talk about him, without him understanding.”
The new transfer student probably only understands Korean and Japanese, Jungwon thinks to himself.
Well, Jungwon’s in luck then, because he can speak in English! And Jongseong would have no idea about whatever he’s saying!
“O…kay?” Sunoo giggles and pats him on the shoulder. “Jungwonnie, you know, you should focus on getting your tenses right first.”
“Ah… you’re right though. I can’t seem to figure out when to use certain tenses.” Jungwon sighs and drops his forehead to his desk. “ English. So hard. ”
“I could help you with it.” A voice pipes up from his right, and Jungwon’s head is up in an instant, cheeks now as red as tomatoes.
Jongseong speaks English.
And perfect English at that.
“Well, this is getting interesting.” Sunoo smiles and nudges Jungwon back. “Pretty boy speaks English.”
If Jungwon could throw himself out the window, he would.
(Their classroom is on the first floor, unfortunately, so that would hardly get him anywhere.)
When Jungwon takes a peek to look at Jongseong again, the older boy is smiling quietly to himself and flipping through his notes. Like nothing ever happened.
“God, I hate myself.” Jungwon drops his head to his desk again, gripping onto the metal legs of his table.
Jongseong rests his head on his desk and turns to face Jungwon, staring at him as the afternoon sun kisses his face and a smile breaks out again.
God, I love you, Jungwon-ah. You’re so cute when you’re flustered, you know?
⋆˚☆˖°
It’s strange, this feeling that settles in Jungwon’s chest.
Jongseong feels like a distant memory to him, like someone he’s known all his life.
Yet, Jungwon learns something new about him everyday and realizes that he still has so much to learn about the boy.
On Monday, he learns that Jongseong peels oranges perfectly. Like a surgeon would operate on a patient, knife sliding deftly across the rind, fingers pulling apart halves and quarters with ease. Secretly popping a wedge into Jungwon’s mouth, much to his annoyance.
They sit amongst a bunch of upturned furniture on the rooftop of the school building, feeling the summer breeze on their faces. Jungwon hates oranges for how sour they are, but they seem to taste a lot sweeter that Monday afternoon.
On Tuesday, Jungwon learns to call him Jay.
“Like a blue jay?”
Jay nods. Jungwon looks up at the sky, like he’s deep in thought.
“Blue jays are annoying. They’re loud, but you’re not like them, Jay-hyung.”
“Hm?”
“You’re quiet. I like that. It’s always nice to have you around, next to me.”
Jungwon doesn’t mention how Jay is as loud as a blue jay’s call in his heart. A call that echoes through the forests and hills in his heart. That builds itself a home, like a safe haven, like a silent refuge.
On Wednesday, Jungwon learns about the freckles on Jay’s face in English class.
“Hi, my name’s Jay.”
“ Hi, my name is Jungwon. Nice to meet you. ” The younger starts, slowly.
“I’ve lost my way, could you help me out?”
Jay gives him a silent thumbs up, encouraging him to keep going. Jungwon sucks in a breath.
“Of course, where do you need to go?”
“I gotta be at this restaurant. ” Jay points at the map printed on their textbook, circling the location with his finger.
Jungwon groans inwardly. It’s the word he’s had the most trouble pronouncing for the past couple weeks.
“Ah, hyung…”
“Come on, you got this.” Jay pats on the back of his hand and looks at him encouragingly.
Jungwon pouts and looks back up at Jay with the most gut-wrenching expression he can muster.
Jay doesn’t budge.
“To go to the res…tau…rant…?” Jungwon enunciates each syllable slowly, and Jay smiles back at him proudly.
“That’s good!”
“Really?”
“Mhm.” Jay gives him an affirmative nod, and Jungwon gives himself a small round of applause. Jay’s always admired Jungwon for his ability to find joy in the smallest things. It’s nice to see him happy. It’s nice to know he can create little pockets of happiness for himself.
“Hyung, can you read out the rest for me? I haven’t read this bit of the assignment.” Jungwon points to the paragraph in the textbook and looks back up at Jay expectantly.
Jungwon has the goddamn Puss-in-Boots eyes again. (He adds in a trembling lower lip for good measure.)
Jay can’t say no to that.
Jay can’t say no to him.
He physically can’t.
“Alright, alright.” Jay gives in. He looks back down at the book. “So, you walk straight on Gyeongin-ro for about three blocks, until you reach the intersection with Gurojungang Street.”
English is so hard, Jungwon thinks.
But finding out Jay has freckles on his face is easy.
“... at the intersection, you’ll see a small park on your right.”
Jay’s freckles are light-colored, and they’re scattered about his eyes and nose like stars. Stars that shine even brighter when the sunlight that streams in through the classroom windows kiss upon them gently.
“When you pass the park, you’ll see a statue at the end of the street.”
“Star.”
“Uh, yeah, a star statue.” Jay looks up at Jungwon to find him staring right at his face. “How’d you know it was a star statue?”
They’re barely inches apart, and Jay swears he can feel Jungwon’s hot breath on his cheeks.
“No, not a statue.” Jungwon breathes out slowly. “Your freckles, they’re like stars.”
Jay averts his gaze and looks back down at his hands, wringing them together underneath his desk.
“You’re pretty, you know that, hyung?” Jungwon reaches out to gently bump his finger against the tip of Jay’s nose. “You’re like a galaxy. And I’m the astronaut doing the exploring.”
Maybe in another life.
But in this life, you’re the galaxy, Jungwonnie, and I’m the astronaut going on one last adventure.
On Thursday, Jungwon learns that he’s a good cook. Jay shows up to class in the morning and places a tupperware container gently down on Jungwon’s desk.
“I had some leftover curry, so I thought I’d just bring some for you.”
(Jay doesn’t mention the part where he’d gotten up at exactly 4.28am this morning, bleary-eyed with a spatula in his hand as he stirred the pot of curry on the stove.)
“Jay-hyung, how’d you know I like curry?”
“Ah, I didn’t know that.” Jay pops the lid off, inviting a cloud of steam that curls around the stuffy classroom air like tendrils. “That’s perfect, then!”
“I feel like you know me so well.” Jungwon scoops himself a mouthful of warm curry. “Like, maybe we were friends in our past lives or something.”
It’s an offhand comment, but Jay thinks about it for the rest of the school day.
Maybe we were, Jungwon-ah.
I wish we had been friends in our past lives.
On Friday, Jungwon learns that Jay is human.
That he’d scalded his wrist by accident while making curry the day before.
That he still struggles with English tenses, just like Jungwon.
That his fingers are calloused and rubbed raw at the same time, when Jungwon catches him playing the guitar on the rooftop that night.
“Hyung, don’t do it if it hurts.”
“It doesn’t.”
Jungwon grabs his hands and looks over them. There are deep, red welts on the pads of his fingers.
He knows it’s a normal occurrence, but he hates seeing Jay in so much pain. It’s not just the welts and calluses that break Jungwon’s heart that night.
It’s the way Jay stuffs the sheet of paper back into his pockets, and his hands are shaking like it hurts to hold onto his guitar.
“Let’s do something else now, hyung.” Jay lets Jungwon take the guitar from his hands and place it back into its case carefully. “Let’s just watch the stars, okay?”
Jay nods.
“You don’t always have to be perfect, you know.” Jay feels the warmth that radiates off of Jungwon when his shoulder bumps against his own. “You’re already enough, at least for me.” Jungwon chuckles to himself.
Jay doesn’t know how to break it to Jungwon.
How he feels like a ticking time bomb, a closing door, a countdown that goes so fast, and yet, so slow.
He needs to perfect this one song. He needs to do it now.
He hopes the universe is kind enough to grant him the time and energy to do so.
“Hyung, there’s this saying I heard from my grandma, that the moon is soft to you, because she’s seen you in ways the sun hasn’t.”
On Saturday, Jungwon learns that he likes Jay.
It’s a love without pretense, a love without calculation, a love without a winner.
I know you were hungry.
Here, I saved you half my sandwich, come have it next to me, Jungwon-ah.
I know you hate silence.
Give me a second to get the music on, will you? Tell me your favorite song, Jungwon-ah.
And Jay realizes that he’s fallen in love with Jungwon all over again.
Jay loves his certainty, his world that’s such an easy place of love and comfort and warmth. It’s not a world he knew, but Jay would live in it for as long as Jungwould would let him.
⋆˚☆˖°
“Hyung, what if we get caught?”
“So what if we get caught?” Jay tears the plastic wrapping of a bunch of fireworks with his teeth, unfurling the packaging to reveal a multi-colored barrel. “Then let’s get caught together.”
“I’m serious, Jay-hyung!” Jungwon pouts and peers down below to find students milling about the walkways.
“It’ll be okay, Jungwon-ah. You have me.” Jay arranges the fireworks in a circle on the ground and steps back, pulling Jungwon along. “Do you want to do the honors of lighting it?”
Jungwon already has his hands over his ears even before the fireworks are lit. He steps backwards and shakes his head. “Nuh-uh.”
“You should try it, really.”
“Can we light it together, then?” Jungwon offers, a pleading expression on his face. Jay simply smiles and grabs onto his hand as they crouch before the fireworks on the ground.
“You ready?”
“Mm.”
“Three,”
“two,”
“one.”
With the flick of a lighter, the box of firecrackers sizzles, and the sky erupts into a cascade of colors. Streaks and bursts of crimson, emerald and sapphire light up the night sky.
Jay turns to look at Jungwon, who’s now dropped his hands from his ears to his sides. Jay watches as the shower of sparkles reflects in Jungwon’s glassy eyes. Watches as Jungwon looks up at the sky with pure, unbridled joy.
Jay almost feels jealous of him for a moment, to be able to feel so much happiness from the simple joy of watching fireworks at night.
As the spectacle continues to unfold and Jungwon wraps his arms around the older boy excitedly, Jay knows that no matter how many times he’s prayed and wished upon fireworks in the past, his fate has always remained the same.
Which is why, now, as he stands beside Jungwon and his heart swells with pride, it crumbles bit by bit at the same time.
Jay wishes things didn’t have to be this way.
“The fireworks kind of look like you, Jay-hyung.” Jungwon turns to look at him. If Jay was on the verge of tears, he didn’t let it show. A couple of blinks and he wills the tears away, just like that.
“How so?”
“I watched the way your eyes lit up when you watched me taste the curry you’d made for me that day. And when you were playing that song on the rooftop that night, I saw sparks radiating off of you!” Jungwon chuckles to himself, eyes twinkling like stars.
“You’re like a firework, hyung. You’re the brightest star in the universe.”
Jay feels a pang of guilt in the pit of his stomach, one that’s threatening to gnaw its way to the surface.
“Did you like it?” Jay ruffles the top of Jungwon’s head and that same smile appears on his lips. The pair of parentheses that frame his gentle smile whenever he’s truly happy.
“Yeah, yeah I did…” Jungwon trails off as he looks back up at the sky, notices how twinkling stars have now taken their places in the night sky.
“Jay-hyung…” Jungwon starts, and he turns to his side to gaze at Jay, eyes open with tears.
Jay knows what he wants to say. Jay’s had this exact same dream play out in his head for over a thousand nights, has relived this exact same turn of events a million times over in his mind.
Jungwon can’t find it in himself to say the words out loud.
It’s a love doomed from the start, Jay thinks. And it’s so unfair.
Jungwon wishes things didn’t have to be this way.
Even after everything that Jay has given, the world still takes and takes and takes from him.
“Jungwonnie, let’s just watch the stars, okay?”
Jay knows it’s a promise he can’t keep, a wish he’ll never be able to fulfill for Jungwon.
So he doesn’t let Jungwon say a word.
Maybe it’s better this way
“Okay, Jongseongie.”
⋆˚☆˖°
Jungwon grows into the habit of denying himself things. He rations himself without meaning to - he doesn’t finish the curry Jay has prepared for him, even though he wants to. He doesn’t brush the tip of his knuckles against Jay’s nose anymore.
He vaguely remembers a conversation he’d overheard in his Gwanak-gu home one summer in 2015. The economy is so bad now. 11-year-old Jungwon would never understand, but when he finds his grandma turning the shower tap back to cold after every visit to the bathroom, he thinks he understands.
It sticks with him till this day. He feels like he can’t live in decadence, because any more would put him over-the-edge.
So, Jungwon doesn’t ask for that gaming console he’s been meaning to get. He can withstand the little sorrows. He’s not spoiled. He also doesn’t ask for extra lunch money.
But it’s just, it’s not always a gaming console. Or lunch money. Sometimes, it’s a person, or a gesture, or a hug. Sometimes it’s asking for Jay to play his guitar again, like he’d done so that night on the roof. Sometimes, it’s asking for Jay to make him another tupperware container of Japanese curry.
Jungwon searches around in his little heart, but he comes up empty. Jungwon’s been denying himself so much that all his desires draw blanks now.
And one day, Jay stops showing up to class. Everyone says Park Jongseong simply transferred to another school again, sure. Some say he went back to Japan.
Jungwon doesn’t know where he went. He doesn’t want to know, either.
Is it terrible that I’m ready to believe that every single obituary in the papers is yours, Jongseongie?
Would that be a bad thing?
종성의 일기 [JONGSEONG'S ENTRIES]
Jungwon got into a fight today, at the park. I was going to help him out, but he looked like a feisty street cat
₍^ >ヮ<^₎ .ᐟ.ᐟ
and I thought it was kind of cute to watch him stand up for himself. Anyway, I called for an adult, so the bullies left him alone.
I wanted to bring him to a clinic to get him checked out, but he looked fine hobbling along back to his place, so I let him be. Maybe one day, I’ll get to do it for him ᵔᵕᵔ
Jungwon was at the gates of Namgang High today. I knew he was gonna carry an empty wallet with him, so I brought a couple extra 10,000 won notes with me. It’s funny, how some things never change. I stuffed the money in his pocket and left.
I transferred to Namgang High today. I wrote Japanese in my notebook on purpose, because I knew he’d peep over to see what I was up to. Jungwon called me a pretty boy. Jungwon was also very flustered.
It was cute ๑•⩊•๑
Jungwon left his clothes hanging out in the balcony today. It started raining on my way to school, so I just brought them in for him. That’ll spare him from another beating by his grandma.
I peeled an orange for Jungwon today. He didn’t really like it, though. Said oranges were really sour. I’ll bring him something else the next time I see him.
He calls me Jay now. I think he likes having me around.
Jungwon said he liked the freckles on my face. He called me pretty, again. Like a galaxy of stars. I don’t agree with him at all. One day, I’ll take him star-gazing ᯓ★
(P.S. I also found out that the Irish word for freckles, bricíní gréine, translates into 'the sun's little stars'. I think Jungwon would be happy to hear that.)
I made curry for Jungwon this morning.
I accideIt went well. He looked like he enjoyed it a lot.
I also wished we were friends in our past lives. I wished I was friends with Jungwonnie.
I found concert tickets underneath Jungwon’s table today. They’re for Jolin Tsai’s concert in May. I also found him humming along to a song a lot these days. I tried to commit it to heart and hummed it back to a friend who’s into pop music. She says it’s a song called
The Stars WiThe Sun Will Never Set. I’ll try to play it on my guitar for him.
Jungwon didn’t let me finish practicing the song today. He found me on the rooftop. I really wanted to finish learning it. Jungwon also said that his grandma used to tell him that the moon is soft to you, because she’s seen you in ways the sun hasn’t. Jungwon took me star-gazing tonight ⋆.˚⭒⋆.˚
I snuck fireworks onto the rooftop today. We lit them, and I watched them through Jungwon’s eyes. He looked like he wanted to cry. I said I just wanted to watch the stars with him. He said okay.
Is it terrible that I’m ready to believe that every single deity out there hates us, Jungwonnie?
Would that be a bad thing?
