Work Text:
Drawn to you
Yoo Joonghyuk smells weird.
Not bad, just weird.
Kim Dokja didn’t notice it at first when they were on the bridge, a soft breeze was blowing his hair lightly and carried traces of the river air from underneath them. Was it the adrenaline of the moment, caused by being strangled by Yoo Joonghyuk and dangling in the air that he hadn’t notice it? Perhaps it was the confusion of his just now obtained skills? Or him still trying to adjust to this new world and trying to not get killed by Yoo Joonghyuk?
Kim Dokja didn’t notice Yoo Joonghyuks scent at first, obviously being too focused on trying to survive. But later on, after spending some time together, he did.
Everyone is different just like their scent, that’s nothing new. It’s something you subconsciously know but don’t really pay attention to. Kim Dokja knew that still- even after having lived for some time and having met so many people throughout his life- Yoo Joonghyuk was different.
It was strong and something entirely new and at times even overwhelming. These strong and objectively, somewhat negative adjectives, could be interpreted in a unfavourable way when actually the opposite is true. Kim Dokja meant them in pleasant way. He likes how Yoo Joonghyuk smells.
Is that weird?
He knows that sometimes people tell someone that they smell nice but that’s usually in association with their perfume or a new shampoo they had just recently bought. Not really in a “I like the way you smell” way, which does make it sound a bit strange.
It was after having reached the underground station and when Yoo Joonghyuk had returned that Kim Dokja noticed it first. It was like an alluring song that drew him in. When Yoo Joonghyuk was standing in front of Kim Dokja he looked at the tall man with his muscular build and intimidating aura.
Just like in the novel, he had an attractive face and sharp words usually left his mouth. Kim Dokja could truly grasp now, that the protagonist of ‘Three ways to Survive in a Ruined World’ and ‘Regressor’ Yoo Joonghyuk, was standing before him. Living and breathing just as he had fantasised so many times before whenever he had felt lonely or wanted to escape reality.
And just a few moments after breaking his trance and returning to reality, this scent, this confusing and hypnotic smell flooded Kim Dokjas nose. As if he had entered a spice marked he was fully submerged in the aroma. It was as if he had looked around a range of seasonings and had found one that was entirely new to him. One he had never expected to find, hell, never even imagined of ever smelling. This sensation perceived by one of his five senses was being dominant at that moment, couldn’t be explained with words. It was so strong and unique and he couldn’t get enough of it.
Was he the only one who felt that way towards Yoo Joonghyuk? Why did it draw him in so much? Should he ask other people what they think of it or would that just get him weirded out looks?
He knew that he had to behave and not act in a way that would make Yoo Joonghyuk even more suspicious of him. But keeping his distance would put him at a disadvantage since it was necessary for Yoo Joonghyuk and him to work together with his companions to survive and reach the final scenario. And that’s what he did, he behaved and acted normal. Well as good as normal could get when being around him.
Still, regardless of how much he tried to at least not act strange around the male protagonist, being near him… it was hard to control himself and not want to go to him.
As time went on and they had survived more and more scenarios together, back on back, trusting the other one with their life, building a bond of sorts even, Yoo Joonghyuks scent only became more enchanting. Kim Dokja wished that he wouldn’t feel that way, that he wouldn’t search for the man in the black coat just so to satisfy his nose. He wished that he didn’t feel like he wasn’t in control of himself and that Yoo Joonghyuk had this kind of power over him, even if that jerk didn’t know.
One day after an especially exhausting training for the stoic protagonist, while he was standing around and sweating he unintentionally caught Kim Dokjas attention. As he walks towards the area the other one was training at just a few moments ago he saw the sweat dripping down his forehead slowly. Somehow, seeing sweat trill down Yoo Joonghyuks face, making his hair slightly wet…
“He looks really attractive and…”, Kim Dokja frowns ever so slightly and shakes his head, trying to forget the thought he just had.
Yoo Joonghyuk wipes his sweat, slightly out of breath, with whatever was available around him and calms down after training for so long and intensely. He was in good shape and never stopped improving his techniques. Kim Dokja looks at him and couldn’t help but think about how he wanted to walk towards him and fully immerse himself in Yoo Joonghyuks fragrance.
In fact Yoo Joonghyuks current state was when his smell would be the most enthralling to Kim Dokja.
“What are you looking at?”
Yoo Joonghyuk was still taking care of the essence that was dripping down his body and asks Kim Dokja with his typical tone without looking at him.
Trying to hide his expression, the shorter one of the two turns to the side and starts stretching. “What do you mean? I’m so busy getting ready to train I don’t have time to look at anything.” He says it as naturally as he could at that moment, trying to act as if he had not just been caught looking at the man which resembled a siren from the way his scent had captivated him instead of a song, for a bit too long.
He could see Yoo Joonghyuks face turn slightly annoyed and doubt was written all over it.
“Training?” He asks not convinced at all by his words which were obviously just a bad excuse.
“Well, you know it’s important to stretch before and after exhausting your body physically to prevent your muscles from becoming sore! So I was just stretching before getting started.”
The man who was caught gawking, blurs out. To prevent the other man of asking even more questions he walks away and starts training. That way he would be away from Yoo Joonghyuk and his captivating smell.
Later that day, long after the sun had set, Kim Dokja makes his way to the camp their companions and the two of them had set up not too long ago. Yoo Joonghyuk had left the training area just as Kim Dokja had stared training, so this was the first time in a few hours he had seen him again. He looks at the man he hated, for making him think about the scent of a person and even worse, making him like it and sees that he was sitting and had started eating.
The man with an interesting taste looks at Yoo Joonghyuk and sees that his hair was slightly wet. “I guess he showered.”, Kim Dokja thinks, somewhat disappointed that he couldn’t get a whiff of Yoo Joonghyuks odour before he had done so.
Despite constant battles and frequent scenarios they had to complete so often it was important for Yoo Joonghyuk to keep basic hygiene and shower regularly, if possible. The first thing he does after completing a scenario with his group is usually take a shower somewhere a bit away from where they would set up their camp.
Kim Dokja wasn’t a weirdo, he didn’t like the stinking smell of someone who hadn’t taken a shower in a while, he also wasn’t someone who had a thing for smells, especially not from a person. That was all true but he couldn’t help but be enticed by the natural body odour Yoo Joonghyuk produced, he could especially not help himself after the other man hadn’t taken a shower for a few days or after an intense training session. What was even weirder was that he liked his smell no matter what state he was in, whether it was a bit sweaty or squeaky clean after showering.
People can smell bad, very often they do, he himself was very confused as to what it was about Yoo Joonghyuk that made him think and feel this way. Thinking about how another person smells, how good they smell. It’s strange.
[K im Dok ja i s awe irdo.]
“Shut up.”, says Kim Dokja after ‘Fourth Wall’s remark. Okey, perhaps he was a bit weird.
The ‘weirdo’ got himself something to eat and decided to sit down nearby where Yoo Joonghyuk was sitting. He tried to sit somewhat close to him to get a sniff of the freshly showered man. But still kept a respectable distance.
He got a bit excited by the thought of smelling the other one and may have walked a bit too close past him when trying to sit down. Yoo Joonghyuk just ignored him and continued eating. Relieved that he didn’t make any snarky comment about him walking too close, Kim Dokja sits down and began eating. He glances a few times towards the stoic man and imagines what it would be like if they had met before the scenarios happened. What kind of perfume he would wear and how he would smell with the different kinds of them.
“Is something the matter? You always act weird but even more so today.”
Yoo Joonghyuk finished eating and decided to confront the man beside him directly.
Kim Dokja was pulled back from his dream and quickly swallows the food inside his mouth before replying “N-No. And I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m behaving normal.” Maybe he should’ve given a better response but he had to act fast and avoid the risk revealing his nervousness or the fact that he wanted to be close to him.
“At the training area and also just now. You don’t think I notice your glances? Who do you think I am? What do you want Kim Dokja.”
Yoo Joonghyuk now asks in an impatient voice, not wanting to hear excuses from the other one again.
The man who was being accused and confronted with having to tell the truth, was not really able to escape this interrogation. He looks down and his mind quickly starts thinking about what he should say.
Seeing as how Kim Dokja stays silent Yoo Joonghyuk continues talking. “I thought that this is just the way you are but I see the way you act around other people. How easy going you are with Yoo Sangha and how you seem to be able to talking about anything with each other. Or Jung Heewon and Lee Hyunsung, even the kids. Yet with me you always act so distant, sometimes borderline strange. You seem to be wanting to be close to me but still keep your distance.” He sighs quietly.
“I don’t care about understanding other people but I can’t think about something else when you behave that way.” Yoo Joonghyuk finishes talking and wears a stern expression on his face, or was that just what he usually looked like?
No. He was definitely being more serious right now.
Kim Dokja lightly moves from one side to the other on his seat, which was actually just a big stone on the ground, still looking down nervously. He quickly composes himself and looks directly at Yoo Joonghyuk. His eyes move from his face away into the distance a few times, thinking about what he should say.
“I just…” He turns quite again.
“I like-“
Should he truly finish this sentence? Kim Dokja hesitates, should he really reveal his feelings, his thoughts to Yoo Joonghyuk? This certain thing he finds enticing about him?
He will surely hate him if he does. But Kim Dokja knows that he can’t lie right now. The man who was still looking at him was waiting patiently for an answer, even though you could clearly see on his face that he wasn’t being patient at all in this moment. Kim Dokja knew that he would know immediately if he lied.
He curses himself internally.
He quickly closes his eyes and opens them just as fast and finally looks at Yoo Joonghyuk.
After cursing at himself for yet another time he finally speaks.
“You smell nice. And you are right. I do act different around you. I just, really like your scent.”
Yoo Joonghyuk looks at him quite perplexed and somewhat astonished by this strange confession. What did he mean by that? He liked his scent? Well he did just take a shower but that can’t be it. It must be something that has been going on for longer.
“So the way I smell is the reason for your different behaviour towards me.” He says after a short moment. It seems like he understood the situation pretty fast and even thought it was somewhat bizarre he could accept that the reason Kim Dokja was different around him wasn’t really his fault, well not really but at least his personality wasn’t at fault.
“You must think I’m a freak and hate me for feeling this way. I even treated you differently in fear of not wanting you to find out and always put a certain distance between us. I’m sorry”
Kim Dokjas eyes shake lightly and his face saddens a bit because of this forced confession. He really shouldn’t have said anything or at least have been a better actor then this wouldn’t have happened at all.
“This is indeed a unusual confession but I don’t hate you Kim Dokja. You’re a fool and often act very suspicious but I don’t hate you because of this.”
Kim Dokja gives him a light smiles and nods. He didn’t hate him.
That’s good right…? But that doesn’t necessarily mean that he likes him either.
“I see. You don’t.” He didn’t really want to be in this place after having explained how he feels and feeling a sense of shame slowly started crawl up. But he was still relieved that Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t hate him at least. It’s something. And as long as he doesn’t abandon him and his companions he could live with that. Hopefully it won’t change things between them.
Silence fills the air. To prevent things from becoming awkward Kim Dokja decides to stand up. He looks at Yoo Joonghyuk for a second before he starts to walk away from this situation. Being in need of some time to calm down and relax after this conversation.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
Kim Dokja halts in his movement and turns his head around. Yoo Joonghyuk suddenly reaches out and grabs him by his wrist, un-tugging the hands from the white coat of the man, which they were hidden inside just a moment ago.
The man commencing this sudden action, stands up and takes a few steps forward. He looks calm and collected but if you were to take a closer look one could see something in his eyes which were slightly hidden by his hair.
He and Kim Dokja were now standing opposite to each other and even though there was still a decent amount of distance between them, this is the closest they have ever been with one other.
Kim Dokja becomes slightly nervous at the realisation that he was standing so close to someone he had believed only being so close to by dreaming.
“You are standing pretty close to me right now. How’s that going for you?”
This wasn’t a question asked because of concern or curiosity about the other party. It’s simply a teasing statement to which he wanted to hear the answer to.
“It’s… it’s really-“
Kim Dokja who was suddenly pulled into this situation tries to calm down and give a proper answer. Better act fast. He decides to confirm what the other one had already expected to hear. Since there was no escaping anyway.
“I’ll be straightforward, I like it. Being like this is really great. You had probably already figured out how I was feeling before asking the question. So tell me, did your intuition proof you right?”
He couldn’t help but get a bit flustered since this has been something he had wanted for so long and finally succeeded in experiencing. He was sure that the other man would’ve wanted to avoid him for now, so he was very surprised by this action that seemed so out of character.
Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t say anything. Instead he leans in. The left side of his neck was close to Kim Dokjas face. Kim Dokja could really appreciate the scent of the other man fully now. He feels his heartbeat fasten and he had to control his breathing so that Yoo Joonghyuk wouldn’t notice how nervous he was feeling right now.
He bites his bottom lip lightly while trying not to get lost in this flood of different sensation. He feels almost overstimulated by the things he is perceiving. Yoo Joonghyuks strong and cold hand wrapped around his wrist, the way he had entered his personal space without a warning or a hint, just like his aroma has entered his nose and filled him with a satisfying feeling.
He had finally gotten what he wanted and should be happy with it, but he couldn’t help but think how he never wanted this to end. That he didn’t want Yoo Joonghyuk to ever leave him which, if he did, would cause emptiness to emerge inside him.
“Kim Dokja”
The name of the man with a small waist left the lips of Yoo Joonghyuk, whose eyes look like he was amused by this situation and whose hand still hasn’t moved away.
Kim Dokja didn’t move but he could’ve sworn that he shuddered by the sudden mention of his name.
Huh? What the hell? What was this…
Also why did he say my name that way? The named man couldn’t shake the thought that he was in a dangerous situation at the moment.
“Are you satisfied with this?”
What a dumb question the protagonist just asked. Of course not. Of course he wasn’t satisfied. He had already thought this before but he wasn’t satisfied with this. Was he really supposed to experience this just once and continue living with only the memory of this?
“I’m not. How can you just tease me and expect that it’s enough? How could I not desire more after getting a taste of this.”
Even though Kim Dokja says this as calm as he could, still feeling nervous since there is still only a small space in-between them, he felt slight anger towards Yoo Joonghyuk.
Seriously, ‘are you satisfied with this?’ He made fun of him inside his head for asking such a stupid thing.
An idea pops up in his head. Well it was less of an idea and more an impulse but it was too late to stop his body from moving now. He would definitely regret doing what he was about to do but he didn’t care. How could he be satisfied with just a taste when he could have a whole bite, or more.
Kim Dokja closes the remaining distance, which had the same tension as the few seconds before picking up money found on the street, a temptation ready to be fallen into. He leans his face into the neck of the other, his lips almost grazing his skin causing the tall man to shiver ever so slightly. But Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t push him away, he didn’t even protest and just let it happen. The shorter one of the two didn’t know what to think about his compliance, but he didn’t waste any more time thinking about it. Instead he just continued falling into temptation.
Kim Dokja is now able to enjoy the smell he had dreamed of immersing himself in and closes his eyes to fully take it in. He takes deep breaths and fully savours this sensation. Yoo Joonghyuk moves his hand to Kim Dokjas back and lets it rest there while loosening his grip on Kim Dokjas wrist and letting go of it. This was a moment of pure bliss, neither of the two said anything and just continue to stay this way for a few moments.
Kim Dokja pulls back and looks at Yoo Joonghyuk with a complicated expression. He’s still in denial about this whole situation and a thousand things are going through his head right now.
Does him always wanting to be close to him have some other meaning? He did want to be close to him to be delighted by his scent but Kim Dokja didn’t expect it to be this intense. He grabs him by the collar and decides to confront him back.
“You’re such a weirdo. Why aren’t you pushing me away?”
“You want to be pushed away by me yet you pull me closer. I know that you don’t want me to leave you and maybe it is also something I don’t want.”
A hint of amusement appears on Yoo Joonghyuks face after stating the obvious. He was aware of their current situation and how things could play out for the two of them.
“Smartass… But yeah maybe you are right. I want you to stay close to me Yoo Joonghyuk and that throughout the future. That way I can always take advantage of you, since you now know how keen I am of your scent.”
“I think this is the first time you have ever been selfish. I would’ve stayed by your side regardless, you fool. If this was all it took for you to finally start thinking about yourself I would’ve done this earlier.”
He chuckles quietly before putting his hand on top of Kim Dokjas and looks at him with a small smile. He carefully takes Kim Dokjas hand into his and lowers them simultaneously.
“There are worse things, so I guess I’ll comply.”