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You were barely able to leave the tower, let alone find your old abandoned place. You felt lucky to find it still empty, just like how you left it. You didn't want to think what would have happened if there were any sinners crashing in here and how would you be able to deal with them in this weak state. Weak.
You felt it coming, the drowning feeling. It's been awhile since you started feeling it. It was lingering back there, always, as you tried to ignore it. Distract yourself with everything– anything– Vox gave you. But it was the inevitable, just like the old times you weren't able to stop it. Every passing second, your dead heart would beat faster and your breathing would get even more uneven.
Your mind felt dizzy, eyes unfocused. Feeling like shattered glass, wanting to scratch the itch away but knew that the second you would touch it, you would fall apart.
It was ugly. When you found your old apartment, kicking the door close behind you (not even noticing it did not click close properly), you leaned to one of the rotting walls in the small place. Your legs gave up and you slid down, closing in your body to a ball in the corner. You were shaking, itchy, fuck. You did not miss this feeling. Why was it here now? Why now when you were doing nothing but... living this second life Vox gave you.
You tried to close your eyes, trying to push it away.
Disconnect from yourself.
The darker liquid dribbled down from your lips as your eyes burned. You were unable to close your eyes for long, the urge to make them blink overruling. You half noticed your veins had gotten darker, begging to be freed like the blood was too much. You ignored it. You didn't want to relapse, you didn't need to. Maybe you already did but fuck. You hated it.
Vox wasn't happy when he looked for you and you were not there.
It was by chance really! He was working and just wanted to do a little check in through his cameras. Chance. Maybe it wasn't really that much of a chance considering he did those check-ins all the time, at least one of his screens always belonged to your presence. That was not important though, important thing was that you were not there. And when he realized you weren't there? He was livid. He looked through everything, the recordings— seeing you leave the building. UNANNOUNCED.
How dare you? He quickly looked through the cameras in streets following you, until he was unable to track anymore. It was enough. He knew where you went, he knew where you lived last time.
And it seemed like he was going to pay you a visit again. Vox was already planning how he would go with this. He would give you a charming smile, maybe with some underline threat! And then bring you home with extra security. Just to make sure this would never happen again. Clearly he trusted you a bit too much to think you can handle yourself in the tower.
He quickly traveled through his cameras over the ring until he was standing under the one that was closest to your area. He dusted off his suit, just because, not that it had gotten dirty. With confident steps he walked through the street, ignoring the stares, maybe sending one little winning smile.
Vox was an actor by heart and he took pride in that. Like how he held his composure while only thing he wanted was to have your cute little neck under his HAND–
His fingers flexed, claws itching. He let out a short breath as his screen calmed down from glitching and his hands relaxed.
You didn't even take your phone! Where did you think you were going with this? Thinking you can just leave? He would like to think you were smart. You must know that he would find you and drag you back if he had to.
He got into the apartment easily, going up the stairs until he was in front of your old door. He didn't knock, he wanted to see you. It was too easy to open the door, it wasn't even locked! You would get killed in a few hours if this was the security. For a second Vox actually wondered if you were really here but he felt it. He felt your presence.
His eyebrows furrowed, the air was too tight. He felt how upset you were. Upset? Broken. It didn't take long for him to see it too. You were in a corner, laying down with your eyes shut. It looked like you were trying to keep your face relaxed, like you can trick yourself into thinking you were fine, but your chest was going up and down a bit too fast, your hands were twitching and claws digging into your palms. He grimaced as he saw the dark liquid falling down from your hands and making a little pool of blood.
This... wasn't what he was expecting. Was he that bad? No! No, he wasn't. He knew he treated you JUST fine. This would be fixed and he would give you a good hug, petting and you would settle down. He would whisper his obsession love to you until you relaxed in his arms. He walked towards you, not bothering to be sneaky but somehow you didn't notice him anyway. Your hearing was much more stronger and usually you would always hear him, looking at his way immediately.
Uh– He wasn't sure what to do, now that you still didn't know he was there even though he was only a step away. With him being right here, he noticed your tears and soon heard you cursing under your breath, telling yourself to 'calm the fuck down'. Now... Vox was a man of all! But— he didn't know how to approach this. Zap you maybe so you would notice him? Shit, no. That was a horrible idea. Call your name? Would you hear him? Maybe touch? The idea left him unsure, giving comfort felt like a foreign topic.
Zap it is.
Well, not that kind of a zap. Not the kind he would use in tortures. Just a... little electricity that you knew him by. Surely you would notice his presence then. He lifted a finger just slightly, blue trickle in air quickly flying towards you and hitting you on the shoulder. He watches as you freeze, shivering. Your body seemed confused for a second before you finally opened your eyes.
Your eyes find his shoes first, blinking in drowsy confusion. Vox can't help but smile, you looked so... cute. Eyes puffy, face red, lips trembling. And the way you looked like you just woke up. He tried to shook the thoughts away, he had to know why you were like this. Oh, and learn why you were not home. Right.
Realization finally hits you as you process his perfectly clean black shoes, eyes lifting up to meet his and he gives you a closed-lip grin. Eyes widening, your hands (He stares at them as your claws come out of your palms, trying to not think how it must have felt to have them slide out from such deep wounds.) push you off the floor. He does see your little flinch of pain. It looked like you were just coming to your senses, feeling the things you had been doing unconsciously.
"V-Vox..." You say, clearly not knowing what else to do. Your voice comes out small, tired.
"Doll!" He is the opposite. He crouches down in front of you, his eyes glancing at the pool of blood for a second. "Love to see you. Do tell, what are you doing here?"
While he was jumping right into the topic, your mind was still slow to catch up and you try to wipe the tears off in a hurry— once again flinching at the blood and quickly pulling away. "Shit..." you mumble, mostly to yourself. "You were- You weren't supposed to see...- see this." Your breathe hitching, your sentence barely got finished.
"Was I not?" He narrows his eyes in annoyance, making you tense up. He tries to soften his expression. He didn't want you to distance yourself after all. "What's the matter?" He reaches for you and takes your hand, you don't deny him. You looked so weak. "Got yourself a little hurt?" He gives you a light grin. Little, was a statement. He sees the deep stabs of claws, even gashes. It looked... bad. You seem to realize that too, nose twitching to the amount of blood.
"You shouldn't be here. It's... It's ugly." While it was like you were talking to him, at the same time you were not. You were still in your head and he had to fix that. He needed your full attention. While one holds your hand, his other hand comes to your face and pulls you to look at him. His lips twitch upwards when he notices you leaning to his touch. He gives you what you wish, gently holding you as his thumb makes mindless circles on your sweet skin.
"Ugly? Darling, you should be home." Your lower lip trembles and for a moment he actually feels scared that you were going to cry again. Not because he never saw that before obviously but this felt different. Like with how he wasn't the cause of it, he wasn't sure how to react.
"I was feeling bad." Bad, right. "I had to leave."
This didn't explain anything and you knew it, he shoots you a look and you continue after a small inhale.
"I felt like I was drowning, knowing it wouldn't take long before I would fall apart. I didn't want you to see me like this. It's- it's ugly." You repeat again, eyes going down to your hands. Now he realizes the situation, realizing you weren't trying to escape, but you were just... really, really upset. This makes his anger only get worse but this time it wasn't directed to you.
Who made you feel like this? Who dared to? Everyone in his tower knew that you were his, at least that you were someone important to the Vees. And they had to know if anyone did anything to you, they would find themselves not killed but tortured in ways they can not imagine. Where they would bleed but not get the sweet relief, not regenerate in some lucky escape.
"Oh love..." He whispers to you, despite the growing anger inside him. He pulls your face closer by his hold, giving you a small kiss on the blood smeared cheek. "In no state you are ugly." He smiles at you, trying to erase that stupid thought from your head before he would start to ask for names. He had to let you know he was the first place to come to. Always.
"C'mon..." You give a small laugh, "In this ugly state of crying?"
"Dashing~" He teases, making you huff. "Messy but cute. Did I ever tell you blood looks beautiful on you?"
"It's my blood, Vox."
"True." He hums in theatrics. "You should tell me the names so we can replace that." He kept the teasing tone but his eyes sharpened. Eyelids dropping as his grin turned into something more cruel.
"...What?" He doesn't let that stop him. You were so oblivious sometimes. Again, adorable, but he didn't need you to protect some scums.
"Names, baby. Who got you like this and so I can give them a talk." He smiles in a mocking sweet smile. In that small second, he changed his mind on replacing your blood with theirs. He didn't think he wanted to see their disgusting insides on you. For a moment, he watches you just blink before letting out an 'oh!'.
"Vox, sorry to let you know but..." You smile in such a sweet embarrassment that he had to stop himself from getting distracted. "No one caused this."
He frowns, clearly not believing.
"It's just me. It... happens. I struggled a lot when I was alive too, with simply living. And I thought I was getting better but... well, you see how I am now." You shrug with a smile. At least you looked more in your senses. With him distracting you from going through your ugly spiral, it was easier to only focus on him.
"What caused it then?" Vox asks, not understanding. His eye twitches in question. He swears if you were trying to hide—
"Nothing. Just me. Me and my mind." His expression was still puzzled, making you giggle as you wipe your (with closed off wounds now but still hurting) hands to your shirt mindlessly. "Mental stuff, Vox. It's confusing to me, too."
"R-right." He clears his throat and tries to bring his composure back. He gives you a small huff and (half) jokes, "No one to talk then? No one triggering even?"
"Nope, just me." He watches as you grin, tilting your head slyly. "Unless, you give me the talk?"
"I should." Well, not the talk that he originally had in mind obviously but still. He wraps his arms around you, lifting you up. He would normally hate blood staining his suit but he would let go since it was yours. He was okay with everything that was yours. He held you securely, lightly shivering as one of your arms wrap around his shoulder as the other hand rest on his chest. With a sharp grin, he kisses your forehead, lingering there just to be close. "I think I will." He mumbles.
"Huh?"
"The talk." He chuckles as he pulls back, stares at your eyes teasing, watching as you lightly get flustered by his gaze alone. Adorable. "You have to remember a few things once again, sweetheart~"
Like how he loves you, how he deserves to see you in every way, how you can trust him. And, of course, how you should never leave.