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***
He was glad to finally stretch the legs after the long flight, but his feet weighed a ton as he slowly made his way along an airport corridor.
It has been a while, hasn’t it. One-and-a-half years, to be precise, he started high school in Japan but then moved once again to the States. To get better at basketball, that was the idea, right?
The door separating the corridor and the Narita Arrivals hall was already in sight, and he could make out the cheerful tunes and lights and festive decorations, though Christmas was certainly less noisy or overwhelming here than in LA.
He halted before the door. The moment he steps through it, he’s going to be back in Japan. Soon enough, he will know…
He didn’t know exactly why he was so anxious. It’s not like he’d done anything wrong? He’d spent a bit over a year with his former team, Seirin, but then he’d set his sights higher, he wanted to become better, to become the best, well okay, that sounds bad, as if his old team didn’t measure up, as if he left because they weren’t enough- it wasn’t true, alright, they were good, he knew, they were, but you gotta look realistically, right? He would’ve outgrown them eventually, and wasn’t it better to grow around an everyday challenge..?
He would know soon enough if it had been worth it. If he had anything to show for himself.
Another rushing passenger bumped into him without any apology, and Kagami stumbled over the threshold. He rolled his eyes privately and collected himself and fixed the bag on his shoulder.
And made his way into the hall, towering above the crowd.
The team was one thing, but. Well. He did leave one more thing behind.
‘Long time no see, Kagami-kun,’ there was a small voice behind his back and he shrieked and almost launched through the roof.
He should’ve anticipated this, why didn’t he anticipate this?
‘Kuroko!’ He glared down over his shoulder, and it really was him there, complete with a mysterious smile.
‘It seems you’ve lost your touch,’ he said with a little mischief in his eyes.
True, wasn’t it, Kagami thought, tapping his chest, there used to be a time where Kuroko’s sneak-up magic wouldn’t work on him anymore. But it was a long time ago.
‘And you’re all too happy to exploit it, I see,’ he complained; Kuroko shrugged with a smirk.
He put his bag down and turned around to get a better look at him.
It’s not like they hadn’t seen each other. After they separated during their second year, even on different continents, they kept in touch, no, they talked constantly, video calls or face-times or at least photographs of their day when they didn’t have time to call. Was it clingy? Maybe, but how else were they supposed to make this long-distance thing going? Admittedly, Kagami didn’t have a lot of time for veering off course, too focused on his training, and he sure was lucky to always have someone to turn to when he needed a word of encouragement, Kuroko was always there-
But none of that had been the real thing.
Kuroko didn’t look like he had changed, but Kagami didn’t know for sure. Was he taller, maybe? No, they had talked about their physicals just recently, he’d barely gotten half an inch up… Was it his hair? More tame somehow, though the same unintelligible colour that would melt in the light, and his smile that looked a lot like it was about to disappear too.
He realised he’d been staring without a word.
‘Hey there,’ he mumbled, trying to relax his shoulders and to make a smile. What was he supposed to do? If it had been a movie, you’d see two lovers running all across the airport to crash into a passionate kiss – but that’s neither here nor there. Would it be weird to kiss him? They were still boyfriends, weren’t they? Yeah, it has been a long time, and a long distance, and a long clumsy silence in between, so maybe they both weren’t used to this anymore, but he should at least hug him? Right?
‘Hey. Welcome back,’ Kuroko replied. And then raised his fist up; and Kagami might’ve stared even harder.
He couldn’t help cracking up, and palmed his eyes, unable to meet his, and then fistbumped him. That’s right; that’s how they’d said goodbye too. How lame is that..?
Kuroko returned the smirk. ‘You must be tired after your flight.’
‘Yeah… It’s fine though…’
‘Shall I help you with the luggage?’
‘N- no, it's not heavy. And if it was, much you’d be able to do…’
‘Hey now. I’ve been working out,’ Kuroko flaunted his biceps, none of his effort visible under a loose sleeve of his coat. Kagami scoffed again, and Kuroko smirked again, and started walking first.
His small gentle stature, so easy to lose in a crowd-
‘Kuroko?’ Kagami called after him, a little tightness in his chest.
He glanced back.
‘Th- thanks. For coming out here to see me.’ If there had been any other words, he wasn’t able to find them.
‘Of course. Shall we go?’
Kagami hummed and fell in step.
***
He didn’t think he’d ever come to say this, but thank all the gods for Kise and his ever-yapping mouth. He was the one who met them outside the airport, waving and grinning and running up to hug him; at least someone was enthusiastic about seeing him again.
‘Kise-kun very kindly offered to drive us from the airport,’ Kuroko explained.
‘You can drive?!’
He bowed expressively, motioning them to come.
‘Welcome, my esteemed guests, let me take you on a magical journey!’
‘Are you gonna kill us?!’
Kise cackled. He didn’t seem to have changed either in this whole time, was just as silly as he used to be, and, maybe, even more sparkly somehow.
They got their luggage in the small white Honda and moved. As the grey city views flickered outside the window, gradually turning into familiar sights, Kagami wondered if Tokyo had changed any; or if it was just him. One-and-a-half-years was enough time for things not to be the same at all.
Kuroko was mostly quiet in the shotgun seat, but that, he supposed, was nothing out of the ordinary. He seemingly let Kise carry the conversation and only side-eyed him occasionally for less-tactful commentary, or glanced over his shoulder at Kagami answering questions, but his face seemed muted somehow.
Or was it always like that..?
‘I can’t believe it’s you who’s most adult-like,’ Kagami said when Kise stopped at a light. ‘A car, a job, college plans… you’re gonna start talking real estate next or what?’
Kise laughed. ‘I really won’t!’ He added. ‘The car is my sister’s, she sometimes very grudgingly lets me borrow it. And I’ve had that job since I was like ten, I don’t think it counts as special.’
‘I thought it would be Midorima who’s most mature.’
‘He might be?’ Kise shrugged. ‘It’s just that you can’t drive much if your horoscope tells you not to turn left on Thursdays.’
Kagami laughed, even Kuroko snorted into his palm.
‘He certainly is more prepared when it comes to college stuff,’ Kise added. ‘But we’re all doing what we can, right, Kurokocchi?’
‘But you were talking about going to college in the US.’
‘Yeah, like I said, isn’t that all-’
‘I think Kise-kun has more things to worry about now than college,’ Kuroko interrupted him. Kise glanced at him and his face turned serious.
‘Ain’t that right.’
‘Yeah?’
‘The Winter Cup started yesterday,’ Kuroko explained with a knowing smile.
Oh. Right. It was almost Christmas. Their last Winter Cup; Kagami remembered the first one well, the struggle, the tenacity, the euphoria that solidified all of their bonds.
He remembered Kuroko in that last match too. The strength they found in each other, he was on top of the world then, he thought they would only get better. He’d been playing high-class basketball ever since – but never like that, never like his life depended on it, for some reason, it had never mattered more than it did then.
It was actually his own fault, wasn’t it? If he had stayed-
‘Yup. My team got through the first round yesterday,’ Kise spoke again, cutting off his thoughts. ‘Our next match is tomorrow. Yosen,’ he grimaced in both excitement and, no doubt, anxiety. ‘Will you come cheer for me?’
‘I’ll cheer for both you and Murasakibara-kun.’
‘Ach, Kurokocchi is stingy. Promise you’ll cheer for me when we get to the finals?’
Kuroko only gave him another side-eye.
‘Listen to your big talk! When you get to the finals?’ Kagami laughed.
‘You’ll see it’s not just talk!’
‘Hell yeah. We’re gonna go watch them, right, Kuroko? I wanna see all the idiots play.’
‘You’ll come? Then I’ll definitely have to put on a show! Too bad Seirin has flopped.’
‘Oi. No need to diss us like that.’
‘Not you, I was actually dissing Kurokocchi. How could you not make it to our last tournament, I wanted to play against you!’ Kise played out a dramatic wail.
‘I would appreciate it if you didn’t rub it in, Kise-kun. But you’re right, Kagami-kun wouldn’t be there even if we were.’
Stab. Wasn’t that a veiled reproach..?
‘Ha! Well, whether you’re there or not, no matter. Kaijo will win it all this year!’ Kise cheered again, probably to lighten the strange mood. ‘And after the tournament we’re all gonna get together and test if America has been any good for you, Kagamicchi!’
He was grateful for Kise being here; his chatter was like a damper on the oscillating tension. He might've noticed that too.
‘Do you guys wanna go straight home, or maybe get something to eat first?’ He asked.
‘Can we? I’ve missed Japanese food!’
That wasn’t a lie, but also, he was just a teensy bit anxious of going home.
***
It was getting late by the time they finally made it to his apartment.
‘You must be tired,’ Kuroko stated as he helped him with the luggage, with no objections from Kagami this time. ‘Kise-kun can be a little attention-hogging.’
‘Nah, he’s alright. I’m still on LA time so it’s morning already. And it was like a crash course on any news I might’ve missed. Still can’t believe he can drive.’
‘Yes, he’s actually quite impressive. Wait till you meet everyone, too.’
Kagami harrumphed. Trying to appear collected, he put his hands on Kuroko’s shoulders to help him out of his coat.
‘Will you come over for tea?’
Kuroko shrugged out of his coat and proceeded to take off his shoes. ‘Gladly.’
‘Though,’ Kagami shrugged at the last moment, hanging the coat on a rack, ‘I don’t know if I have tea.’
He straggled to the kitchen and opened the cabinets one after another. His father would stay in the apartment sometimes if he was on business in Japan and so hadn’t sold it, but most of the time it stood empty.
‘Water is fine, too,’ Kuroko said, settling down on the couch.
‘Oh. Right…’
He opened the fridge, feeling a pair of eyes on the back of his neck all the while.
There was no food whatsoever, but there was mineral water and sodas and even beer, so at least they wouldn’t have to stare into empty cups.
He brought two glasses and two bottles of ramune to the coffee table.
‘Wait a moment. I brought snacks from the States as souvenirs, I’ll go get some,’ he then said.
‘That sounds interesting, I’d like to try them,’ Kuroko was smiling, it was the strangest smile ever, it was going to drive him nuts.
He returned with a handful of bags with assorted foreign chips and candy, and put them on the table.
‘Do you want anything else? If it’s cold, I should check the AC-’
‘I’m really fine. You should sit down,’ Kuroko patted on the couch next to himself. ‘You’ll infect me with jitters.’
‘Hu-uh?!’
‘It’s just, you seem nervous.’
‘I’m not!’ He rolled his shoulders and flopped indignantly on the couch; a perfectly non-suspicious reaction; he’d read right through him again, just like he used to; and what the hell was that smile?!
‘Sorry,’ he grumbled.
‘Why?’
‘I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s weird how… I guess…’
‘Do you want me to go first?’
First..? Go..?
Kuroko turned to him and withheld his look, and his smile changed. ‘I am very happy to see you again, Kagami-kun.’
Strange how even an ordinary ceiling lamp in an ordinary living room could paint highlights in his hair, or how a bloated silence suddenly fell apart at the sound of his ordinary voice.
There was now heat on his face, and Kagami palmed his eyes. ‘Blunt as always,’ he grumbled. ‘S’what I’ve been meaning to say, too…’
Kuroko kept silent and, unable to endure, he glanced at him from under his palm.
‘Well. You’ve always been more inclined to action rather than words,’ he met his eyes and chuckled. ‘Action is fine, by the way.’
His hand dropped. Kagami stared at him hard; momentarily, he saw his eyes flicker, slide slowly down his face, stopping momentarily on his mouth, and then back up again-
Action… is fine…
Kuroko withheld his look again, peaceful and beautiful and a little sarcastic, a little witty, a little pleased with himself – and it cracked.
Kagami snorted. Palmed his eyes again, a bout warmth spreading all the way from his fingertips to his chest and then to his face.
It finally cracked, the glass wall and the powder keg and their stupid tension, it all cracked and broke free.
He jumped him across the couch, grabbed him by the shoulders and rolled him back into the corner, and fell on him for a kiss, one-and-a-half-years, he hadn’t kissed him in one-and-a-half-years, how stupid long is that, why the hell did he go away, he had dreamed of kissing him every day for five-hundred-and-forty-seven days-
Kuroko wrapped his arms around his neck to pull himself closer, returning the kiss with quite the same amount of longing.
***
They were sitting face to face between the sheets in his bedroom, blue shadows like a veil on their bare bodies, he couldn’t take his eyes off him.
The winter night outside the window deep and quiet and cold, but they were safe here, they were home, as if they had met here yesterday too, and the day before, and there had been no distance, no time apart-
Only it wasn’t true, was it.
He’d wondered, right? If it had been the right call. The States. They had met and they had become partners, in basketball and in everyday, they had built their strengths and their trust and a team around it, and then he couldn’t imagine his life without Kuroko anymore – and then he up and threw it all away. Yes, they had agreed to it, they had agreed to keep trying, to stay together no matter how far, but what was it worth next to this..? What was his basketball worth next to this..?
He could’ve had it all this time, this blanket of shadows over his small frame, their knees touching, their bodies still warm with the afterglow of closeness they’ve just shared, Kuroko’s eyes still locked on him, big and mellow and beautiful-
He had chosen basketball over Kuroko.
If he’d been wrong, what, was sorry enough, what could he say, how could he put it into words so that he would know that he meant it-
‘I’m sorry. I should have never left,’ Kagami mumbled, his eyes drifting down. If he could change one thing-
‘Boo.’
He jolted when Kuroko bonked him firmly on the head with the side of his hand and made him glare up.
‘Wrong,’ he said, and bonked him again.
Kagami only growled, too shocked to make out any words.
‘You’ve been thinking something unnecessary just now, haven’t you, Kagami-kun.’
‘Unnecessary?!’
‘Something about you not going after your dream.’
Kagami harrumphed; one thing hadn’t changed for sure, Kuroko could still read him for everything that he was.
‘I… wasn’t…’
Kuroko crossed his arms on his chest, his eyes appraising.
‘You aren’t going to say you give up now, are you? Playing basketball, playing in the NBA, that’s still your dream, right?’
‘Well… yes, but… I mean, yes, but I could’ve at least stayed in Japan until now…’
‘I wish you’d have a little faith in me.’
He met his eyes again. ‘I do,’ Kagami grumbled reluctantly. If there was anything in the world he trusted, it was Kuroko’s word.
‘Good then. Because we promised, didn’t we? Back then. I promised. That I will always be your partner. So we promised we’d do our best and hold out for as long as it takes until we can be together again every day.’
‘Yes…’
‘It would be a bit of a bummer if you decided to move back to Japan now for some reason. While I’m still waiting for my confirmation from UCLA.’
‘Hu-u-uh?!’
What did he just say.?!
That same self-satisfied smirk-
‘When you told me you got your scholarship already and knew which college you were going to, I also filed my applications with some places. It should be… the answers should come sometime soon. January, they said.’
It was still loading.
‘College..? Wait, you’ve just said… UCLA? You’ve filed for universities? In LA?!’
‘Well, that’s the idea? You’re staying in the States to go after your dream? And I’ll try to go there after my dream too. I think… We could make it then,’ he gave him the softest smile.
He didn’t know what this sting in his eyes was.
‘Still! UCLA?!’
‘I’m offended you don’t think I have the brain for it,’ Kuroko replied in the most deadpan voice he could muster, though even Kagami could see him cracking up underneath.
‘No! But! I mean! You didn’t tell me anything!’
Now he dabbed his head.
‘I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. But I didn’t want to get false hopes up, it’s still ways away, what if I don’t get accepted? I wanted to wait until I have something real… But maybe I was wrong,’ he tried to smile.
All of his defences, and hesitations, and doubts melting in real time again.
He pounced and rolled him back into the sheets, and kissed him, clearly as a surprise, because Kuroko just started giggling instead of kissing him back.
He was blushing now, and his heart did the thing.
He still managed to surprise him every time, Kagami thought, smirking against his lips.
