Work Text:
Late evening storm clouds over the State Security Office painted the rooms in shades of gray. The gloomy atmosphere alone was enough to make most of the workers head home early. Hoping to beat the storm before they got home made for a good excuse. The building was empty except for one Yuri Briar and his superior, the First Lieutenant, who was tasked with locking up the building before the weekend.
“Yuri! Hurry up and pack your things. I want to get out of here before the storm hits,” the Lieutenant called out to him as he sat at his desk, stubbornly still tap-tapping away at his paperwork.
“Don't worry about me, sir! I've got a lot of work to do, so I don't mind staying over the weekend,” Yuri called back cheerfully.
The man sighed, long used to his subordinate's tendency to overwork himself. “Don't be ridiculous. I can't lock you up in the building. Your work will still be here when you come back, it won't run off.”
“I’ll be okay, I can handle myself!” He always had so much confidence.hat nothing could touch him. Fortunately, he's been correct so far, but the Lieutenant couldn’t help but worry.
“I know you've been coming back to work over the past two weekends and working overnights. At least take this weekend off. You said your sister’s on another business trip, right? If you push yourself too hard you’re going to get sick again. You're going home and resting. That's an order.”
Yuri pouted angrily as he finished up his work with a quiet, “Yes, sir.” He's never met anyone so attached to overworking himself. It was about as admirable as it was maddening.
“I'll wait for you at the entrance.” He gave the heavy storm clouds outside another cursory glance before he slipped out, leaving Yuri alone in the office once again.
~*~*~
Yuri and his superior stood together at the front entrance, watching as the storm raged outside. It started with a light sprinkle as Yuri made his way through the building that quickly became a downpour by the time he reached the Lieutenant.
“I’m sorry, sir.” His shoulders drooped, his angry pout now a guilty frown.
The Lieutenant merely shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. I saw this coming.”
Was that supposed to make him feel better? Yuri looked up at his supervisor and then back out to the rain. Oh well. “Well, nothing for it,” he mumbled as he held his trench coat tight around him and exited the building.
Or at least, he tried to leave the building, but his Lieutenant grabbed his shoulder, stopping him in his tracks. It wasn’t the first time he stopped him like this, but his touch never failed to make his heart skip a beat. “What are you doing?” His Lieutenant’s gruff voice came from behind him.
Yuri looked back up at him quizzically. “Going home?” “Not in this downpour, you’re not.” He said with a concerned frown. “But I thought you said I have to leave.” Yuri frowned back. Now that it was raining, could he stay? He didn’t get it.
“You’re planning on walking home in this rain without an umbrella? If you get sick on the way home, you’ll end up spending the weekend recovering. By the time you get back you wouldn’t have had any proper rest. I told you I saw this coming, didn’t I? I’ll walk you home.” He said, holding up an umbrella Yuri didn’t notice before. Its design was simple and cute: a clear umbrella with purple flowers decorating the border. Yuri expected his superior to have something more plain and practical, so this unexpected side of him was an adorable surprise.
“Wow, Lieutenant, you’re always prepared for anything! The weather forecast said there’d be clear skies today, so I didn’t think to bring one. I clearly still have a lot to learn!” Yuri exclaimed with a bright smile.
“Oh, no. I didn’t bring one either. This is from the lost and found.” He said simply, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Yuri gasped, “But sir, that’s stealing! You can’t do that, what if someone comes looking for it?” He couldn’t believe his Lieutenant would do something so criminal. They were in the SSS! They were supposed to uphold the law, not break it themselves. Never mind the many, many times he's thought about framing Loidy for something so he can throw him in jail. That was for his beloved sister's safety, and thus was justified.
“It’s been there for months, I don’t think they’re coming back for it. C’mon, let’s go.” He unsnapped the umbrella’s strap. Against all odds, it seemed he was determined to use stolen property and rationalize his behavior.
“You don’t know that! I’d rather go without it.” Yuri crossed his arms petulantly.
“I’ll bring it back first thing Monday morning. It’s not like they’ll be able to come check lost and found while the building is closed, right?” Hm. He did have a good point there. Yuri couldn’t really argue with that. Not that he really wanted to, exactly. He rarely spent time with the Lieutenant outside of work, and with how much of his day was taken writing reports, he didn’t see him much today either. Still, Yuri squinted at him, “So you’re just going to borrow it?” It was the principle of the matter!
“Yes, just for the weekend.”
“If you say so… But I’m holding you to it!” He said pointedly. “Yes, yes.” The Lieutenant said as he locked up the building. He was clearly just trying to placate him, but if it got him to do the right thing and bring it back, then it was fine. He opened up the umbrella and held it out invitingly, encouraging Yuri to join him before they left the safety of the awning.
The umbrella wasn’t particularly large. It was just big enough to shield two people from the rain if they stood side by side. Yuri hesitated. He’d been this close to his supervisor before, on long stakeouts in cramped spaces where they had no choice but to huddle up next to each other. But that was for work.
This was different. This felt, somehow, much more intimate. Romantic, even. How many romance novels had he read where the protagonists shared a romantic evening clustered together under an umbrella in the cold rain, their fingers brushing until they finally clasped hands, holding each other close away from the rainfall?
No, his supervisor was only doing him a favor, Yuri reminded himself. He didn’t want to give the other man the wrong idea. That is, he wanted the Lieutenant to know that he knew this was not a romantic gesture. He would have to keep his distance to ensure there would be no misunderstandings. Despite his hesitation, he joined the Lieutenant under his umbrella. He kept in mind their distance, careful to leave enough space between them that there would be no hands brushing and thus no misunderstandings possible. Yuri mentally gave himself a pat on the back for his clever mental gymnastics.
The Lieutenant looked down at him curiously. “I know it’s a small umbrella, but if you stand over there, you’re going to get soaked. Here,” With that as his only warning, he wrapped his arm around Yuri’s shoulders, bringing him in close under the protection of the umbrella.
Yuri’s heart leapt in his throat at the sudden close contact. This was much more intimate than simply brushing hands! Before he could respond or protest in any way, he was already being led out from under the awning and out into the storm. As they did, Yuri couldn’t help but realize how warm his Lieutenant was, especially with the cold wind biting at his exposed side. He shuffled in a little closer despite himself.
The Lieutenant’s hand held his shoulder steady, like it wasn’t a big deal. Which it wasn’t, of course. Why would it be? There was no reason for Yuri to think it was. He was just looking out for him, like he always did. This was normal. A completely platonic favor.
That being said, the scent of smoke and cologne that enveloped him alongside the distant smell of rain made it hard to focus on how much of a big deal this absolutely was not. The rain thud-thud-thudded on their umbrella in time with Yuri’s heartbeat. Yuri only hoped the Lieutenant’s sharp ears couldn’t hear his heart beating amidst the heavy rain.
As he tried to sort through the chaos of his mind and attempted to steady his heart, a question emerged from the depths of his thoughts: How was his supervisor faring under this prolonged close contact? It surely would’ve been fine for Yuri to get a little bit wet. Has his decision finally sunk in and now he’s regretting this?
Did the Lieutenant really wrap his arm around him purely out of concern for his subordinate? How likely was it that he did know how romantic this might seem?
Yuri thought himself into circles and knots until he eventually, finally, chanced a look up at the taller man.
Ah.
Yuri’s breath caught in his throat. He really was quite tall, wasn’t he?
He was so close too. He was so so so close.
No. He had to focus. He couldn't let himself get distracted by their proximity.
The Lieutenant was stone faced as usual, staring straight ahead. It really shouldn't be a surprise that he’d keep his composure. Or rather, that he wouldn’t need to worry about his composure, because this wasn’t a big deal to him. Of course it wasn't. It only made sense. And that was fine.
His supervisor looked back down at him. Their eyes met, and Yuri realized with a start that what was supposed to be a quick glance turned into prolonged staring. Yuri felt his face grow warmer and warmer, and his Lieutenant only looked back at him with a concerned frown and spoke to him softly.
“You're so red, Yuri… You're not sick already, are you? Is it the cold?” His supervisor tightened his hold on his shoulder, pulling him in impossibly closer.
It took a moment before his words fully registered. He was much too focused on the First Lieutenant's ever distant gaze trained on him. The warmth in his eyes filled him up and eased the chill of the stormy winds. His eyes flickered down to the older man's lips of their own accord. Was Yuri’s mind playing tricks on him or was the other man's face really inching closer? And was that a light dusting of pink on his cheeks? It was too dark, he couldn't be sure.
“I'm fine!” Yuri yelled in a panicked outburst as he abruptly turned away and faced forward.
If his exclamation got them any attention from other curious couples, thankfully no one said anything. Perhaps the Lieutenant’s intimidating presence prevented anyone from raising any concerns. Yuri's mind was preoccupied with far more important matters, such as wondering if his supervisor really was blushing or if it was a trick of the light and re-playing what just happened over and over in his mind and ruminating over how close he was to kissing his superior. Out in public. In the rain. Sharing an umbrella together.
If the Lieutenant had kissed him, what would it be like? Would he be firm, with the swift confidence of a man with experience, the same way he held him now? Or would he be surprisingly tender, the same way his hands felt when he caressed his forehead when he fell ill?
Would he kiss him in front of the other passersby? Or would he wait until the street was more secluded, away from prying eyes? Or maybe he would even pull him into a secluded alley, shoving him up against the wall, umbrella forgotten and cold rain be damned as he–
If Yuri didn't think about something else he was going to explode. He shook his head as if to forcibly remove the fantasies from his mind.
Despite Yuri's best efforts, he couldn't think about anything else the whole walk home. His usual tactic, thinking about Yor, somehow still led back to thinking about his supervisor. Try as he may, he couldn't calm his heart nor quell the blush that kept crawling up his face. He couldn’t help but glance up at him every now and then either. He didn’t know what he wanted to see, but he kept being unable to find it.
Soon enough, they found themselves outside Yuri’s apartment building.
“Get some rest, kid.” Now that they were under the safety of the awning once again, the Lieutenant released Yuri and patted his back lightly.
Yuri pouted and mumbled, “I'm not a kid.”
“What was that?”
“Yes, sir.” He replied with a salute. Still, he hesitated for a moment, biting his lip. Feeling a bit more daring, he added with a small frown, “But I'm not a kid, please stop calling me that.”
The Lieutenant looked a bit taken aback at the request. “You are basically a kid, though, to me.” He replied instinctively. Seeing Yuri's unamused expression, however, he continued, “Okay, I'll stop calling you ‘kid’ when you stop calling me ‘sir.’” He offered with one of his rare smiles that made Yuri's heart flutter.
“L-Lieutenant?”
“No, when you call me by my first name.” With all the patience in the world, as if he were explaining a simple concept to a child.
“I- I can't do that! That's too –” intimate – “too unprofessional!” Yuri sputtered, blushing at just the thought of it. Then again, was there anything professional about his supervisor holding him close as he walked him home, sharing an umbrella in a rainstorm? Despite everything, the Lieutenant didn't seem to think anything of it, so Yuri was determined to prevent any sort of false hope from blooming in his chest. His lieutenant looking down at him with those soft fond eyes did not make this an easy task.
“Alright, kid it is then.” He ruffled Yuri's hair as if to hammer home how childish he was being. Yuri stiffened at the sudden unexpected touch and his supervisor must've thought he had gone too far – broken some unspoken rule – because he mumbled a quick apology, and Yuri felt the weight of his hand begin to leave his head.
“N-No, it's fine.” Yuri replied, quickly tilting his head down and relaxing into the other's touch, hoping the moment wouldn't end so soon. Thankfully, it seemed he understood Yuri's unspoken plea – please don't stop – because he stopped retracting his hand and let it rest there a little longer. It was so warm. So gentle. It was embarrassing how much he enjoyed it. How good it felt. His eyes slid shut as he let himself bask in it. He wouldn’t see the other man again until Monday. He’d allow himself this small momentary bliss.
~*~*~
Yuri wasn't a child, but what a childish thing, to demand to be taken seriously and then melt at such treatment.
He was tense the whole walk there, so it was an honest relief to see him suddenly so at ease. The way he relaxed under the Lieutenant’s touch, even his eyes sliding closed, was so reminiscent of a cat that the Lieutenant wouldn't be surprised if Yuri started purring. Seeing this man react like this, one who's always described as an excitable puppy that’s bursting with energy, relaxing into a sleepy contented daze from being pet – it was, dare he say, adorable? He'd never seen him so serene. He seemed perfectly content to stay like this forever.
The sight filled him with the overwhelming desire to embrace him. He was so young and he held so much weight on his shoulders. So much of his being was dedicated to Yor and taking care of her, protecting her from the evil underbelly of this country, but what about him? Who was supposed to care for Yuri, to protect him? Not from criminals but rather, from himself.
The Lieutenant longed to be that person. Yearned to hold him in his arms, to help shoulder some of that burden. To protect him from himself, to bear the crushing weight he held 24/7. He wanted to pull him in close and kiss him breathless. To kiss his neck and make his knees weak. He wanted to hold him without any pretenses. He wanted to see more of him. What else was there to uncover under his bubbly puppy-like exterior? What other expressions, sounds could he pull out of him, given the right circumstances?
He retracted his hand before he could follow that dangerous train of thought. He already pushed too hard just doing this much. And really, what part of this was okay, anyway? He pushed his limits this whole time. Insisting he walk Yuri home at all was overstepping his bounds as his superior. The most he should have done was tell him to get some rest (as he should) and hope he actually listened for once.
He even nearly kissed him when he caught him staring. It was a relatively empty street, but there were still civilians around. What would he have done if they were reported? Of course, they were in the SSS themselves, so they might get a pass. But as coworkers, especially as his direct superior, the higher ups would have more than enough grounds to take disciplinary action against them. The best case scenario was they’d have to be separated into different squads. He didn’t want to think about the worst case.
Not to mention, as someone much older than Yuri – especially as his commanding officer, it would be far too easy for him to feel pressured into doing something he’ll regret. Regardless of Yuri’s real feelings, he'd definitely regret it if the worst came to pass. He was young and deserved to be with someone his own age. He shouldn’t waste his time with an old man, in a relationship he couldn’t be open about on multiple levels. The Lieutenant wasn’t worth the risk. Yuri had his whole life ahead of him, one that the officer didn’t want to risk going to waste for someone like him.
If his suspicions were correct and Yuri did have a crush on him, it was only puppy love. He must have imprinted on him as the only person who took care of him that wasn’t his sister. He would get over him soon enough, and, hopefully, once he’s satisfied his sister is fine, he’ll find a nice girl and settle down and live a normal life. He ignored the way the thought made his chest ache. He’d just have to put more distance between them. Not that he’s done a good job of that lately.
The second he removed his hand, Yuri swayed a bit and fell forward into him. It was like he absorbed the rest of his remaining energy. Alarmed, the older man held him upright, shaking his shoulders lightly. “Yuri?!”
As suddenly as he fell into him, he lifted himself off his chest with a start. “Ah! I'm so sorry, sir! It seems I lost consciousness for a moment. I guess I didn't realize how exhausted I was…” He tried to laugh it off, but the blush that spread across his cheeks betrayed his embarrassment. If Yuri kept doing things like this, the Lieutenant was going to have a hard time keeping him at arm’s length.
The Lieutenant squinted at Yuri, who shrunk a bit under the intensity of his gaze. He wanted to scold him for his carelessness and how he was really about to stay at work in this state, and what was he supposed to do if he passed out by himself at the office? Or worse, by himself on the road?
No, he already talked to him earlier. He didn’t need to get into it again, as much as he wanted to. Besides, it was getting late, and he clearly needed to rest as soon as possible. Instead, he swallowed his words and sighed. “Are you sure you're alright? Can you walk?”
“I, uh,” Yuri looked down at his hands that still rested on the Lieutenant’s chest and his blush deepened. The officer didn’t mind it, far from it, but his subordinate still jumped back like he was caught committing a crime. The act tore his own hands from Yuri’s shoulders and they hovered in the air for a second, mourning the loss of contact before falling uselessly at his side. “Y-Yeah, I'm perfectly fine! The picture of health! No need to worry!” He exclaimed, giving an energetic salute.
“You don’t have to lie to me. Besides, you're terrible at it.” He rolled his eyes but couldn’t stop the fond smile that formed on his lips. “I was going to let you go here, but maybe I should walk you to your apartment. I don't think I can trust you not to pass out on the stairs.”
Yuri looked a bit surprised at the suggestion but ultimately relented, “That's…That should be fine.”
~*~*~
And thus, they made their way up the stairs, one flight after another. His supervisor has been inside his apartment before, but something about this time felt different. The last time Yuri was actually sick and pretty out of it, so he didn't remember too much, but his face still burned with embarrassment at the memory. The Lieutenant was always helping him out and checking in on his well-being. It annoyed him at times, but he was usually right, though he was loath to admit it. Yuri wished he could repay him in some way, but he was always resistant to such things. It felt like the Lieutenant wanted to keep him at a distance despite going out of his way to help Yuri himself.
As he reminisced, he lost his footing and fell backwards with a yelp. Luckily his Lieutenant was behind him and caught him, his firm yet gentle hands clasping around his shoulders once more.
“Are you sure I shouldn't just carry you?” He asked casually, as if his proposal was a completely normal question and Yuri wasn't eye level with him, their faces mere inches apart. It took everything in his power to not jump out of his arms in a panic and inevitably tumble down the stairs. Somehow, against all odds, Yuri steadied his breathing and he managed to find his footing again.
“I'm fine! It's just– this step was off, I'm okay, really!” Honestly, how clumsy could he get? This was painful.
The Lieutenant’s lips pressed together, forming a thin line. “Uh huh.” He clearly wasn’t buying it, Yuri realized in agony.
“I mean, if you're that worried, you can hold my hand up the stairs. To set your mind at ease.” Yuri couldn’t believe the words that came out of his mouth. But he already said it. There was no taking it back. It didn’t even make sense, in this context. But there was no taking it back, no matter how much he wished he had just tumbled down the stairs and blacked out instead, if only to stop him from saying stupid things. He couldn’t look his superior in the eyes but he still held his hand out for the other man to take, the other hand now careful to hold the railing on his other side.
Yuri couldn’t see the Lieutenant blinking quizzically at him or his hesitation, but, luckily, before long, he felt the other man’s larger hand take hold of his with a quiet, “Sure.”
It contrasted sharply with his earlier confidence, his easy teasing. Yuri wondered if he should pretend he was joking, to backpedal and pretend it wasn’t a real suggestion. It was an odd thing to say after all. But the Lieutenant held his hand firmly, just like how he held him on the way there. Maybe it was fine. If he said he was joking, then it would surely embarrass his Lieutenant, who took the suggestion in good faith and went along with it. He’d keep holding the older man’s hand, for the Lieutenant’s sake.
They cleared the stairwell, but the Lieutenant still clasped Yuri's hand in his own, with no sign of letting go. Yuri didn’t want to be the one to break contact first, but he didn't expect it to last this long. He tried to ignore it. He tried to be casual, to pretend it's not happening, just like his supervisor.
Still, he couldn't help the occasional glance down at their hands. There was no more pretense, no potential danger of Yuri falling down the stairs. It was too surreal; he had to look to make sure it was really happening. He thought about giving an experimental squeeze but decided against it. If he brought attention to their hands, then the moment would end all the sooner and he'd rather avoid that if he could.
Just then, the Lieutenant squeezed his hand and his breath caught in his throat. How did he know? No, he surely didn't, but…he truly had impeccable timing. Yuri gave a gentle squeeze back as warmth flooded his chest. Despite the way this small action raised dozens more questions and half-formed conclusions, he couldn't stop the pleased smile that teased at his lips.
He didn't even let go when they reached Yuri's door and he fumbled with his keys, trying to find the right one and unlock it one-handed. Yuri truly didn’t know what to make of it at this point (was it a test? some weird power play? but he wasn't the type to do those sorts of things, it didn't make sense), but he was determined to hold on as long as the Lieutenant would let him.
“Oh, Yuri!” A voice came from down the hall. It was Dominic. Yuri was too focused on the task at hand to notice that he was leaving his own apartment. He was probably going on a date with Camilla, as he often did on Fridays.
“Oh, hi, Dominic!” Yuri replied instinctively with a cheery grin.
Dominic seemed a bit distracted though, where was he– he was looking at the Lieutenant. And then down at their clasped hands.
The realization hit Yuri like a truck. He tore his hand out of the other man's grasp, “Wait, it’s not what it looks like!” Though he wished it was. “This, this is–”
“I'm Yuri’s coworker. Nice to meet you.” The Lieutenant piped up next to him, raising the hand that was just holding Yuri's in a motionless wave.
“Oh, are you his supervisor? Yuri talks a lot about you!” Dominic said with his usual goofy grin.
“Really? I'm surprised he talks about anyone that isn't Yor.” The Lieutenant looked at Yuri curiously, no doubt wondering what Yuri said about him.
“Of course he does! Thanks for always taking care of him. I know he can be a handful, but you should lay off the body slamming, y'know? He's sturdy, but he looked pretty rough the last time I saw him!” Dominic said, his voice laced with concern. Yuri felt his face growing warmer by the second.
The Lieutenant looked a bit confused but ultimately nodded, “Okay, I’ll keep that in mind.”
“I'm right here, you know!” Yuri interjected. He felt so embarrassed he could die. “Anyways!” Thankfully, he finally managed to unlock the door and ushered the Lieutenant inside. “It sure is getting late! Don't you have a date with Camilla? She'll chew your ear off if you’re late again, so you should probably get going.”
“Eh, she's cute when she's mad. But you're right, I oughtta get going. Have a good evening, you two!” Dominic gave a quick wave and jogged off.
Something about the way he said that last part made Yuri feel like he absolutely was not buying that it wasn't what it looked like, he mused as he closed the door to his apartment. He leaned back against it and sighed. It probably didn't help that he brought his supervisor inside with him too. He panicked at the thought of them continuing their conversation outside – alone – and acted without thinking.
Before Yuri could apologize and send him on his way, the Lieutenant asked, “Body slamming…?” with a slight tilt of his head, the slightest hint of a smile peeking through, betraying his amusement.
“Ah.. Yeah, it was– I went to my sister's house after an assignment and I didn't, I couldn't think of any good excuses for why I was so beat up so I said… I said you body slammed me.” Yuri couldn’t look him in the eyes. It was a terrible lie but he had to keep it consistent or put the secrecy of his job in jeopardy.
The lieutenant chuckled. A rare treat. A deep sound that made Yuri's heart flutter. A moment ago, he cursed Dominic for forcing him to embarrass himself like this, but now he grudgingly mentally thanked him. His smile still graced his face as he spoke, “That's fine this time, but let's not make it seem like the foreign ministry uses corporal punishment regularly, okay?” He scolded him gently.
Yuri’s cheeks burned with embarrassment. “Yes, sir. And I'm sorry for dragging you in here, you should go home before the storm gets any worse.” He said sheepishly as he cleared the way to the door.
~*~*~
“Hm, you’re probably right. I’ll take my leave then.” The Lieutenant gave Yuri a small nod as he turned to leave. He briefly considered offering to cook him dinner, but that would definitely be too much, especially on such short notice.
“Oh, wait!” He stopped at Yuri's sudden exclamation. “I was wondering, if you, um.” Yuri blushed, looking past the Lieutenant, at the pictures of Yor on the wall, anywhere but directly at him, fiddling with his tie as he spoke. “Do you have any plans for the weekend?”
“No, maybe just getting some housework done. Why?” The Lieutenant raised a non-existent eyebrow at him. There was no way.
“I was wondering, if you wanted to go out for drinks? Er, just coffee! My sister told me about a cafe she went to the other day and I wanted to try it. Do you want to go out with me– go check it out with me, I mean!” Yuri’s flush deepened as he tripped over his words.
“Didn’t I tell you to take a break from work? I’ll see you on Monday.” The Lieutenant replied dryly, sailing right past Yuri’s slip up like it never happened. He knew exactly what his subordinate wanted, but he wasn’t going to encourage his little puppy crush. He indulged too much on the walk here and now he was paying for it, making Yuri think he was interested. Damn kid was too sharp for his own good. Not that he made it difficult to figure out.
“Geez, I can’t ask if you want to hang out without it being about work?” Yuri frowned at him, his embarrassment slipping into irritation. Good. This was good. His chest tightened at the thought of hurting him, but if they weren’t careful, much worse could happen. Even if it was too late to fully prevent suspicion now, it was best to put as much distance between them as possible and lay low.
“Knowing you? Yes. Besides, why would you want to? You see enough of this ugly mug as it is.” The Lieutenant rested his hand on the doorknob, signaling an end to the conversation.
As SSS agents, their discovery would be inevitable. Hiding in plain sight wasn’t so simple. Least of all for Yuri, who could hardly come up with a half baked lie on the spot. For someone who wears his heart on his sleeve, having to cover it up like a shameful blemish would be torture. He couldn’t do that to him.
“You could just say no if you're not interested.” Yuri huffed, crossing his arms moodily.
“I know.” The older man faced the door, his shoulders sinking with regret. Against his better judgment, he peered back at Yuri.
He bit his lip and looked away from the Lieutenant to the wall covered in pictures of Yor. For someone who ordinarily kicks up a fuss when he doesn’t get what he wants, he gave up so easily. He looked deflated, all his usual enthusiasm was gone.
There was that urge to embrace him again. To wave away all his fears and anxieties. For their safety he needed to create distance, establish barriers. But all he wanted to do was cross that distance, close the gap between them.
The older man sighed. “What’s with the long face? I didn't say no, did I?” It was his own fault for sending mixed messages. He was being selfish and hoped he was wrong. That it wouldn’t lead anywhere. He needed to own up and make it clear their relationship was purely professional. At most they could be friends, but that was it. He'd have to tell him at the cafe the next day.
Yuri’s eyes lit up with hope, “Wait, really? You want to come with me? To the cafe?” There was that puppy dog energy again. His supervisor could practically see his tail wagging. How was he supposed to tell him there would be nothing romantic about it when he looked at him like that?
“Sure. If you don’t change your mind come tomorrow morning, I’ll go out with you.” He replied nonchalantly. Hopefully sleep deprivation simply made Yuri delirious, and after a good night’s rest he’ll come to his senses. He’d call his superior in the early hours of the day and call it off and there’d be nothing to worry about. He opened the door.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll see you tomorrow, sir!” He was positively brimming with excitement. “Oh, and thanks again. For your help today.” The blush returned to his face as he glanced down at the umbrella in the Lieutenant’s hand, likely remembering the various close calls on the way home.
The older man felt his own face warming up as the evening's events filled his own mind. “Anytime.” He said, quickly turning to leave in an effort to hide his face. Hopefully he’d come to his senses? Yeah, right. The Lieutenant knew better than anyone that common sense didn’t come to Yuri easily.
The rain beat relentlessly on the First Lieutenant’s umbrella as he walked home himself. He mentally rehearsed the conversation he needed to have with Yuri at the cafe tomorrow, but the way he beamed at him persisted in his mind. He groaned, clenching the umbrella in his hand.
He had no right to talk about Yuri’s common sense when his own abandoned him just thinking about the kid. Perhaps a better use of time would be thinking of ways to dodge their government’s ever watchful gaze.
The wind picked up, blowing straight through him. The Lieutenant lamented the loss of the warm puppy dog of a man to hold onto on the way home. He carefully lit a cigarette and hoped the storm would pass overnight, giving way to actual sunny blue skies.