Work Text:
I down another glass of tequila. Anything to numb this feeling. Then I see Steven walk in.
He’s beautiful, as always. His red hair is the shade of marigolds, his smile lights up the room and his eyes have a glimmer of mischief in them. I don’t deserve him. I won't tell him how I feel. Not tonight.
Most nights are bad but today is so much worse. He sits down next to me at the bar. “Hey, Char.” “Hi, Steven.” I reply, hiding the slur of my voice.
He orders a coke. “Don’t you drink?” I ask him, sarcastically. “No, I'm a lightweight, I can't have more than 1 drink.” I know that already, obviously, but it’s always a question I ask. He could never love an alcoholic like me.
“How's studying going?” I ask him “I'm keeping up. Always an A range student.” He laughs like he said something hilarious. I wish i could record it so i could play it when i was alone. It’s one of the most beautiful sounds I’ve ever heard. I need to change the subject “I miss our Welton days a little bit sometimes. You’d always tutor me, teaching me trigonometry. I must’ve been an idiot. ‘Course i could never focus-” I cut myself off.
Not confessing tonight, Charlie. Steven grabs my hand. “You weren’t an idiot.” He states. I feel myself blush. I don’t know if I’m imagining it but I almost feel Steven slipping, slipping, slipping away from me. “Uh, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I’ll be back in a minute.” I say. I walk as fast as I can away from the table. I get to the bathroom.
“Shit, Charlie! He’ll be coming after you any second.” I scold myself out loud in the empty bathroom. Why would he? He doesn’t care about me. I breathe a couple times, thinking I feel better.
Then the bile rises to my throat. It stings. I run for the toilet. I feel the contents of my stomach coming up. It’s not much, just a piece of toast and two shots of tequila. But I know Steven’s behind me as I kneel on the floor. He holds the sides of my hair and rubs my back. I don’t deserve him.
He hands me a small bottle. I push it away. Is this his idea of a sick joke? “It’s water, drink some.” He pleads. How could I ever think he’d hand me alcohol? I take the bottle without a word. I feel a little better as I sip.
“Are you done throwing up?” He asks. “I think so.” I reply, uncertain. We wait a couple more minutes before Steven practically drags me off the floor with one hand. He flushes after me and I walk to wash my hands. He stands behind me as watch. “Alright, lets get you home, Char.” We leave the bar and he drives me away. At first I think he’s going to leave me at my parents house, alone.
But he passes by it and drives to his apartment. I don't have much choice of my movement so he mostly moves me for me. “We’re going get you in the shower.” He says, like he’s talking to a baby. I’m too tired to protest so I get in the shower, somehow managing for myself as he takes my clothes and gets some of his that might fit me. When I get out of the shower, there's a pair of sweatpants and a baggy sweatshirt. I smile when I see them. I find his room and he stands there.
For a second he stares. Then he says, “sorry I couldn’t find you anything better. I know these used to be yours so I just prayed they’d fit and-” i cut him off “They’re great, Stevie.” Not like I can complain anyways. “Since when did you call me Stevie?” He asks. I stumble to explain myself. “I like it.” He laughs again, a joke I finally understand.
He tucks my hair behind my ears. “Kiss me, Stevie.” I say. He does. The taste must be horrible but we’ve both wanted this for so long. “Holy shit!” I exclaim as I let go of him. He laughs. “Where’d you learn to kiss like that!” I half ask, half yell. He just smiles and we both break out laughing. The way he looks at me is unmistakable now. “Now c’mon, brush your teeth.” He pushes me away playfully. “What do i really smell that bad?” I joke. I brush my teeth, then Steven get ready for bed.
“Where should I sleep?” I ask. “My bed.” He states. I try to protest. “Charlie Dalton, it’s been a long day. Come here.” I lay next to him. I feel him rest his head on my chest and drift off. I stay up a little longer, worrying i’ll forget all of this in the morning. No way. Steven Meeks kissed me. This day will go down in history. And now,as I finally fall in asleep in the arms of the boy i’ve always loved, I think one thing. Sometimes things do work out.