Work Text:
Blood littered the ground. Screams echoed all around but yet he couldn't see anyone. The world was distorted.
Tsurugi jolted awake. He shot up and took in labored breaths. His heart felt like it was going to pound right out of his chest. Sweat was coating his entire body.
A nightmare. He tried to even out his breathing. It had just been a nightmare. He was fine...
He glanced over at the clock. It said it was just passed 2am. He had only fallen asleep two hours ago and now he was awake again. This night was going great already...
He had already struggled just to fall asleep. Now he was never going to get back to bed. He really didn't want to stay up all night again. He was still not recovered from the last time something like this had happened. Had it even been a week?
Tsurugi didn't know what to do. He laid back down and stared at the ceiling. He closed his eyes and took in some deep breaths. Unfortunately, the nightmare kept flashing in his mind when he closed his eyes. Sleep really wasn't looking likely at this point.
He got up. There was one last thing he could do. He hadn't wanted to but he was at his breaking point. He couldn't keep doing this. He needed to try something else.
Tsurugi left his room and cautiously made his way down the hall. The ship was quiet save for the humming of the engine. He was terrified every small noise was someone. He didn't need to be seen doing this. He didn't need anyone to know about this.
He stopped in front of another door. After debating if he really wanted to do this, he softly knocked. It took a minute, but the door did open.
"Tsurugi?" Spada stood on the other side of the door and stared at him in confusion.
Tsurugi went to speak, but couldn't find his voice. How did he explain why he was here? He hated admitting he was struggling. He wanted to be seen as strong. Not someone who couldn't even handle a nightmare on his own.
"Come in." Spada tugged him into the room. "Are you okay?"
"I... think so." Tsurugi managed to respond.
"You look like you've seen a ghost." Spada drug him to sit on the bed. "What happened?"
"Nightmare..."
"Oh. Do you want to talk about it?" Spada frowned and brushed some hair from his face.
"Not really..."
Spada sat down on the bed as well, leaning back against the headboard. Tsurugi shifted to copy him. They sat in silence for a while. Tsurugi didn't know what to say. He wasn't used to asking for help.
"Do you want anything? Some water?" Spada offered, holding out an unopened water bottle.
Tsurugi accepted the water and took a few sips. His heart finally seemed to be beating at a normal speed again. Unfortunately, that was only one part of the problem solved. He still had no idea if he was going to be able to sleep after all of this. The nightmare was still haunting his thoughts.
"Do you have nightmares often?" Spada asked.
"Define often."
"More than once or twice a month, probably."
"Then yes."
"How often? If you want to tell me."
"Almost every night."
Spada's eyes went wide with concern. "Tsurugi, that's not good. Why haven't you said anything till now?"
"Didn't wanna bother anyone..." Tsurugi mumbled. He felt like this was about to turn into a lecture.
"I could've helped you."
"Sorry..."
"Well, nothing we can do now. Just... don't keep suffering by yourself, please. My door is always open if you need me." Spada grabbed one of his hands and squeezed it.
"I'll try..." Tsurugi promised.
He would try if this actually helped him. If nothing better came of him seeking help, he'd just continue as he had been. There would be no reason to bother Spada if he wasn't going to be able to do anything about it.
"Do you want to try and go to sleep?" Spada asked.
Tsurugi shook his head. "No..."
"Amore mio, you need the rest." Spada frowned.
"Can't sleep..." Tsurugi mumbled in reply. "Scared to..."
He didn't like admitting it but he was scared to go back to sleep after having a nightmare more times than not. Most times if he did fall back to sleep he was dropped right back in to the horrors. It made it hard to even get the motivation to try and sleep when that was what waited for him if he did.
"I'm here. I'll chase away all the bad dreams." Spada kissed him on the cheek.
"How?"
"Uh... just by being here."
Tsurugi still wasn't convinced to try and sleep. The two of them sat in silence again. Spada had yet to let go of his hand. Tsurugi didn't really want him to.
"I'll try to stay up with you for a bit but I'm tired." Spada said.
"You don't have to..." Tsurugi replied. He felt bad making Spada stay up too.
"I want to." Spada shush him. "I'm here to help you."
...
After a while, it was getting hard to stay awake. Tsurugi was trying to not fall asleep, but his eyes were slowly falling shut against his will. He was exhausted.
The two of them had laid down after a while. Spada was fast asleep, rolled onto his side to face Tsurugi. Tsurugi was lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. The clock read 4am now.
Tsurugi knew he was going to fall asleep whether he wanted to or not at this point. He let out a small sigh and rolled onto his side, facing Spada now. After a moment of debate, he moved in closer and buried himself against Spada as best he could. Spada pulled him into a hug instinctively.
Tsurugi closed his eyes and hoped he wouldn't have another nightmare. He didn't want Spada to see him like that anymore than he already had. He didn't want to be seen so vulnerable.
He shifted in closer to the embrace. Hopefully Spada was right that being with someone was going to chase the nightmares away. All he wanted was to be able to sleep peacefully for once. He was barely getting any sleep tonight either way but it would be nice if the last few hours of sleep could be peaceful. Who knew what they were going to have to do today? He'd like some energy to actually help.
It didn't take long for him to fall asleep. He was far too tired to stay awake and this position was quite comfortable. Tsurugi drifted off to sleep, trying to focus on anything other than the nightmare from earlier. Please just let him sleep for once...