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It wasn't hard to see the toll this fight was taking on everyone. The long desperate fight to save the galaxy was tiring. The horrors they witnessed along the way were things no one would ever forget.
As the battle finally drew near its end, it made most have a bit more energy. Knowing they had almost done it was bringing relief. Soon they could finally have peace.
However, for one person, the end of the battle made them seem even more tired. Tsurugi was struggling. While everyone else was celebrating (to a degree) their soon-to-be victory, he just felt numb. The world was crashing down on him and he was barely holding it up.
Who once was his best friend was now their sworn enemy. His life was drawing dangerously close to an end as well. Everything was weighing him down more than what anyone should ever feel. He just wanted it to end. To be free from all of this. To finally have peace in his life after how long he had lived for.
Sleep never came easy to him anymore. His dreams were plagued by nightmares. The bags under his eyes just grew every day. He was barely functioning anymore. He was just so tired of all of this.
It was another restless night. Tsurugi stared at the ceiling. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't fall asleep. His mind refused to let him.
He was startled when there was a sudden knock on his door. "Tsurugi... are you still awake?"
Tsurugi got up and went to the door. He opened it to see Spada on the other side.
"Why are you up so late?" Tsurugi questioned.
"I can't sleep. Thought maybe some company might help." Spada replied.
"Sure." Tsurugi let him in the room.
It wasn't that uncommon for them to end up sharing a bed for the night. Especially in the recent days. Being near the one you loved had a calming effect most of the time.
The two laid down on Tsurugi's bed. Tsurugi was on his back, opting to return to staring at the ceiling. Spada was on his side, slowly shifting around to get comfortable.
"Did I wake you up or were you too awake?" Spada questioned.
"Also awake." Tsurugi replied quietly, slowly rolling onto his side to face Spada.
That answer made Spada's expression turn to concern. "You shouldn't still be up, mi amore. You need the rest."
"Can't sleep." Tsurugi mumbled as an excuse.
"You look exhausted. How can't you sleep? You were practically falling asleep during the meeting earlier."
The answer to that question was something Tsurugi really didn't want to give right now. He didn't want anyone to see him this way. They already had a tough enough time dealing with his resignation to dying soon. If they learned the other hell he was dealing with, would that just make everyone more upset with him?
Tsurugi ended up just shrugging as his reply. He didn't even know what words he would say to explain anything he was feeling right now. Perhaps it was best to keep all of this to himself?
"Come on. You need to sleep." Spada stated.
That was easier said than done. Tsurugi didn't want to sleep. Not now that someone was here to witness him having a nightmare. The last thing he wanted was to make Spada even more concerned about him than he probably already was.
"Tsurugi. Come on." Spada didn't like his silence. "You seriously do need to try and sleep."
"I'm fine..." Tsurugi mumbled.
"You are not fine." Spada argued, "Everyone can tell something isn't right with you. Please. Just tell me what's going on..."
Tsurugi was silent for a long time. That definitely wasn't usual for him. He always was one to speak his mind. But in these growing days, he'd stopped sharing a lot of things that he used to.
"Mi amore, please... I don't like not being able to help you when I see you so deeply troubled like this." Spada tried to get him to talk.
Tsurugi buried his head into a pillow and then finally mumbled out a reply. "I'm just so tired of everything..."
"Tsurugi..." Arms wrapped around him and he was pulled into a firm hug against his will.
"The world is crashing down around me... I can't deal with this anymore... I'm sorry."
He was sorry. Tsurugi hated that he felt this way. He so desperately wanted to keep the positivity that everyone else had. He wanted to be able to celebrate how close they were to victory like everyone else. But yet his darkest thoughts were finally rising to the surface and nothing he tried could make them stop.
"You don't need to deal with these things alone." Spada stated, "I'm here. Let me help take some of the burden off of you."
"How?" Tsurugi questioned doubtfully, "You can't fix this, Spada."
"Maybe not. But I can make it more bearable to deal with." Spada replied.
Tsurugi wasn't sure what to make of that statement. How could anyone make this more bearable? There was nothing anyone could do. They couldn't get inside his head and make it stop.
"I still don't understand."
"Let me take your mind off of things for a while. Distract you from everything."
Tsurugi didn't reply, but he wrapped his arms around Spada. An invitation to try.
Spada tightened his grip on Tsurugi. He began to press some gentle kisses to his head.
Tsurugi closed his eyes and tried to focus just on the moment. It was a hard task to accomplish. Even now, his mind wouldn't shut up in the slightest.
He opened his eyes again as a hand found its way to his cheek. Spada's face was right in front of his. Tsurugi met his gaze.
Then suddenly Spada leaned in closer and connected their lips. It started off simply as a gentle kiss. But after Spada pulled back, Tsurugi grabbed him and pulled him right back in.
Spada didn't complain. In fact, he seemed pleased at the outcome. Had this all been part of his plan? It certainly was starting to distract him from everything else. Perhaps Spada had succeeded.
"It's been a while since we've had time to ourselves like this..." Spada said.
"It has." Tsurugi agreed.
Ever since things started to intensify, they rarely had much personal time. Even at night, it was hard to have the energy to do much. The most was just cuddling. Even now, it was rough to stay awake enough to do any of this.
Spada seemed ready to fall back to sleep. He yawned slightly as he wrapped his arms around Tsurugi and pulled him into a loose hug. Tsurugi didn't fight the movement and buried his face into Spada's neck.
"Try and get some rest now, okay?" Spada said.
Tsurugi nodded. He would try. It wasn't like he enjoyed forcibly keeping himself awake. He wanted to sleep but his mind just refused to let him.
It only felt like seconds before Tsurugi noticed Spada's grip relax. He had already fallen asleep. Tsurugi closed his eyes and tried to focus on what had just happened. Try to direct his thoughts away from the normal stuff.
Maybe... there was a reason to keep going on. Maybe he shouldn't be so accepting of his demise. He had people who cared deeply about him and were desperate to find any sort of way they could to keep him alive.
For once, maybe he would let some of this burden be taken off of his shoulders.