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Chase didn't know how to say this.
He didn't know how Buddy would react.
But he knew that if he didn't take this chance, he could lose a lot more than just Buddy. And he needed a life outside of the books he'd trapped himself in more than he needed almost anything else.
“What is it?” He looked at Buddy's eyes, like an ocean. An ocean he would drown in if he didn't leave and swim to shore now. “Chase, what's wrong?” He tried again.
“I… I can't go into books anymore. I can't be involved in, well, any of this. Ever.”
Buddy barely reacted. His eyes widened slightly, but Chase could tell he was locking up, putting a wall up between reality and his own emotions. His entire self.
“Please don't-”
“No, Chase! You don't get to… You don't get to tell me not to lock up, or to show you my real self, or whatever Bull you wanna say to convince yourself you're the perfect popstar person you are in your head! I've had enough of you comforting me, going back on it, and then just winning me over again!”
“I… Yeah- Yeah, okay. I'm sorry, Buddy.”
“No, you're not.”
“I am… I'm sorry for making you feel like this.”
Buddy's breath caught, audibly. “Why, Chase?” He murmured. “Why are you leaving?”
“Silver isn't doing well. Remember how sometimes, if keys don't work, it's because they've just been used, over, and over again so that they just… Burn out? That's how the Ex Libris fell, isn't it?”
“So? Get another key! I- I can get you one! I could even help Silver, I-”
“I also have a job lined up. Touring.”
“No- No I just- Silver, I can fix! I can heal her! We figured out how to do that, remember? Please just… Just say you don't want to leave me. And… And I'll find a way where you don't have to.”
“Buddy… I'm not leaving you. I'm leaving everything around you so I don't lose everything else around me too.”
Buddy bit his lip.
“I know.” He said smally. “I- I know.”
A single tear streamed down his face.
“Can I hug you, one more time?” He asks, and Chase nodded. “Yeah. Of course you can.”
Buddy embraced him with the passion of a thousand moons forever yearning for their suns in the sky. Suns they would never touch again once the last eclipse ended for good.
“I think I need you Chase.”
“No… You need someone. I was just the first of the many people who'll love you.”
“None of them will ever be like you though…”
“That's okay. They'll all be yours.”
“How long can we stay like this?”
“‘Till everything stops being still for us.”