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Ianto and Tosh alternated checking the CCTV. They had an automated system in place, of course, but having human eyes look over things every once in a while made sure they wouldn’t miss anything; it was a necessary precaution. They even caught something once or twice.
It was Ianto’s turn to look over the footage this week. He scrolled through the night they did twice and a clip of Gwen and Jack in the lower levels caught his eye. He wasn’t technically meant to actually watch it; he knew they had gone down there and talked, and whatever they talked about must have been private, and Ianto really, really shouldn’t go snooping around and listening in on conversations he wasn’t a part of.
“He’s a compulsive liar, why is he in the building?” Gwen’s voice filled the small space behind the tourist office which Ianto considered solely his own.
“There’s the tiniest, one percent chance he’s breaking the habit of a lifetime and telling the truth, which means this city is in danger,” Jack replied. The camera followed their movements, and Ianto turned away from the screen to pour himself a fresh cup of drip coffee from the small machine in the corner.
“What did he mean by a ‘time agent’?” Ianto set the cup down on the table and sat in front of the computer again. “You never mentioned it.”
“That was in the past.” Ianto’s lip quirked up. Jack didn’t tell him the full truth, either.
“Oh, okay. Here we go again.” His twitch turned into a smile. Gwen wouldn’t take it like that, either. “You know everything about me, Jack, why’d you keep shutting me out?”
“Here and now, that’s what’s important. The work we do, the person I am now, that’s what I’m proud of.”
“Then why did you desert us?” Gwen shouted, and Ianto reflexively turned the volume down. He took a sip of his coffee, still a bit too hot, while watching them stare each other down. “Where did you go?” Ianto turned the volume up again. “No, no, come on, where did you go? Tell me. Talk to me.”
Jack sighed. “I have died so many times.” At least that Jack had told him, though Ianto still struggled to believe Jack’s immortality was more than just a fluke. “And dragged back into life. Like being hauled over broken glass. I saw the end of the world.”
“How?”
“Doesn’t matter now.” Deflecting again. Ianto didn’t know the full story, either. Something inside Ianto was almost viciously glad that Jack hadn’t told Gwen, either. “But after it was all over,” Jack smiled, and the gladness in Ianto turned cold, “I knew I belonged here. What kept me fighting was the thought of coming home to you.”
Jack’s hand slid down Gwen’s arm, and Ianto turned away, sipping at his coffee again, now the perfect temperature.
It wasn’t that he didn’t know, exactly. The tension between the two of them was palpable. Even after Jack and Ianto started their thing, Ianto didn’t expect it to go away. He knew what Jack was like, didn’t begrudge him his flirting and attraction.
It was more that only a few short hours later, Jack had asked him out on a date.
“What’s this?” Jack’s voice forced Ianto’s eyes back to the screen, where Jack was holding Gwen’s hand up to his face.
“That’s, um, that’s an engagement ring, that is.” Gwen faked surprise, and Ianto wanted to laugh. Good old Gwen, keeping her distance, teasing Jack for it.
“You’re getting married?” Ianto’s glee turned sour again. Jack sounded far too surprised.
“Yes. Rhys asked.” Gwen took her hand back. “When you were away.”
Jack took a step back, and Ianto almost believed it was over. “Wow. Gwen Cooper getting married.” But the laugh he let out sounded much too fake. “Down on one knee?”
“Well, he tried to. Then he had a twinge in his back and had to lie down on the settee. That’s when he popped the question.”
“And you said yes.”
“Well, no one else will have me.”
The lighting was too poor and the camera too low quality to catch the microexpressions Ianto usually used to properly read Jack, but he could see the longing on Gwen’s face as Jack grabbed her and kissed her cheek. He couldn’t begrudge her that. He was sure he showed the same longing while he was fully sharing Jack’s bed. Jack said it himself – once seen, always yearned for. Completely untouchable.
“We should get back to work.” Jack’s voice was rough. Ianto debated following him with the camera, but ultimately decided against it. Gwen had stood in the corridor for an awfully long minute before returning to the main Hub.
That was the truth of loving Jack. He was a man who loved so much but always kept himself distant, just out of reach. Whether the person reaching was sharing his bed or not.
In fact, this hadn’t been the first time Ianto caught one of Jack and Gwen’s private conversations over CCTV, and he doubted it would be the last. He could never help himself from listening in. And it always turned out the same: Gwen alone, Jack distant, Ianto depressed.
It was silly. It was just so damn silly. Why couldn’t they just discuss the tension like mature adults, figure out some way for them all to be happy?
Because Jack would never stop. He would always distance himself when others get too close. He would always choose to hurt rather than be hurt.
And that, too, Ianto couldn’t begrudge.
He flicked to the next list of feeds and started going through those. Always more work to be done.