Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Hi! I’ve never written anything asking for requests before, but I’ve been using agere content as free therapy recently and I’m already running out of ideas. So I’ll be writing some ideas of mine here, as well as taking requests/suggestions if anyone would be so kind as to give them!

Things I won’t write:
- Age play. Totally, completely separate thing. Take that elsewhere. All age regression here is a completely SFW coping mechanism (there may be NSFW content, but nothing relating to the regression itself and there will be thorough warnings at the beginning of each chapter).
- Anything involving diapers and the like. Absolutely no hate to any regressors who use them, of course! Everybody’s got different needs. I just don’t feel comfortable writing about it because I… frankly, have no interest in thinking about the bodily functions of fictional characters that much.
- Anything involving Adam and Lute. I’ve seen some very sweet agere content with them, and while I love complex villains with genuine, loving relationships outside of their bad-guy stuff (for example, the Vs), something about Adam and Lute just… makes me very uncomfortable.

I’ll update that list as needed as we go along; I’m sure I forgot something.

If you’d like to request something, you can make it as vague or as detailed as you like! Whatever characters you’d like, plot, specific regressed ages, comfort items, anything.

I’ll do my best to write any requests as quickly as possible, but I’ve got schoolwork and ADHD so no promises. And if I am uncomfortable with writing your request for whatever reason, I’ll let you know and I apologize in advance in case that happens (it’s not likely, but just in case).

Thank you so much for reading and thank you in advance to anybody who gives suggestions! I hope everyone has a wonderful day <3

Chapter Text

Light layer of dust on the counter to swipe off? Normal.

Sunlight filtering in through the windows, making for a peaceful, quiet scene before the bloodshed and chaos of the day really got started outside? Normal.

The quiet buzz of a radio upstairs, playing music that Husk’s sharp ears could just barely pick up on? Normal.

Way too many pink eyes, softly glowing as they blinked up at him innocently from beneath the bar?

Decidedly not normal.

“Angel? What the fuck are you doing down there?”

Angel shrugged. His eyes were still wide as he looked up at Husk, watching him with something like detached curiosity.

“Angel, come on, get out. You can’t just— How’d you even get under there, you’re way too tall— Doesn’t matter. Get out. I got work to do.”

Angel only blinked at him again, and Husk could see his neutral expression changing into something more like a confused frown.

“Angel? Are you listening to me?”

Blank stare.

“What the fuck…?” Husk mumbled. He leaned down, snapping his fingers at Angel. “Come on—“

That got a reaction. Angel flinched, moving backward so fast his head hit the underside of the bar. He whined loudly, one pair of hands flying up to cradle his head. “Ow, ow, ow—“

Startled, Husk stepped back. As he did, he really took a look at Angel.

Angel was curled in on himself, hugging his knees. His chest was rising and falling rapidly as he sucked in short, shallow breaths. He dug his nails into his clothes, bunching the fabric up between his fingers.

Sighing, Husk lowered himself to the ground—fuck, that hurt his knees, why whatever higher power there was felt the need to remind him of his age when he was already dead, he didn’t know—to crouch in front of Angel. He held out a hand, waiting for Angel to notice.

After a minute, Angel finally looked up, his eyes big and teary. “I hit my head,” he mumbled.

“I saw that,” Husk said softly. “Are you alright?”

Angel shook his head.

“Does it hurt?”

He nodded miserably, still holding his head in his hands. “S’bad.”

This was reminding Husk of something Charlie had mentioned recently, when she’d been talking about coping mechanisms, but he hadn’t really been paying attention. All he knew was that this behavior sounded familiar.

Hearing Angel take a soft, shuddering breath snapped him out of his thoughts. Right. It didn’t matter what was happening, as long as he could help. He’d just… play this by ear. “Angel? If you’ll come on out of there, I’ll take a look at it for you.”

Angel shook his head.

“I’ll get you some ice, if you want.”

He got the same reaction.

“Doesn’t your head hurt?”

“Mhmm.”

“Well, just come and let me look at it.”

Angel shook his head.

“Angel, come out from under the bar. Now.”

“No!”

“You can’t stay there. I don’t want to ask again.”

Angel squeezed his eyes shut. “No. Don’ wanna.”

“Why won’t you come out?”

“S’bright out there,” Angel whispered. “An’ loud. I don’t… I don’t wanna. Don’ make me.”

Husk’s expression softened. Oh.

Angel’s hands were trembling, digging into his hair hard. Even so, he did his best to sound bigger and stronger than he felt, his accent coming out thicker as he muttered, “You can’t make me.”

“Okay. I won’t make you.”

It caught Angel off guard, and he looked up in surprise. “You’re… not gonna make me?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Promise?”

“I promise. You want something to drink?” Husk asked.

“Uh-uh. Alcohol tastes gross.”

Husk couldn’t help the surprised laugh that slipped out. “Do you… want something different?”

“You can make other stuff?”

“Of course I can.”

Angel thought for nearly three full minutes, trying to decide what he wanted. He then came up with a very eloquent, decisive answer: He looked up at Husk and shrugged wordlessly.

Husk sighed. “Okay. I’ll… just go get something.”

He headed to the kitchen, and after digging through the fridge for a little bit, he found some apple juice. He figured it was a safe bet, and took some back to Angel.

Angel made a face. “That stuff’s yucky.”

“Well, what do you want?”

Angel shrugged again.

“You can’t think of anything?” Husk pressed. “I’m not about to run back and forth all fuckin’ morning just because you think it’s funny or something.”

Angel cringed, scooting farther back into his little hidey-hole. “Sorry.”

Husk backpedaled immediately. “It’s alright. I know you don’t think this is a joke. I’m sorry. I’ll try again.”

The next time, he came back with a glass of milk. Angel whined and batted him away. “No! Gross!”

“You don’t— You seriously don’t like milk?” Husk dragged a hand down his face tiredly. “Could you please just think and tell me what you—“

Angel covered his ears, shutting his eyes tightly again. “Loud, loud, loud, m’sorry—“

“I… didn’t mean to raise my voice. I’m sorry. It’s… It’s okay…” Husk carefully reached out, but didn’t touch Angel. “I’ll just go get you something different. It’s not a big deal.”

Angel nodded, rubbing his eyes.

Husk set the milk on the counter next to the apple juice, figuring Niffty would probably be glad to take them when she got up. If she even ate. He wasn’t entirely sure about her.

Maybe Charlie would like them.

Okay, third time’s the charm… “You like cranberry juice, maybe?” he asked, offering it to Angel.

Angel hadn’t actually tried that before. He reached out two shaky hands, taking the glass, and tilted it to take a sip. Two problems arose instantly: He didn’t like the taste, and he tilted it back too far. Cold juice splashed onto his chest, and, startled, Angel dropped the whole glass, soaking the front of his shirt and letting the glass shatter on the floor. He forced himself to swallow the juice he already had in his mouth, grimacing at the taste. A loud, high-pitched whine was already building in his throat, with tears stinging his eyes.

Husk was about to have a nervous breakdown or something.

Now he was dealing with Angel, but not normal Angel, he was being weird somehow, and Husk didn’t know what was going on, but he was clearly upset, and now he seemed to be panicking while on the verge of tears and surrounded by very sharp broken glass, and Husk didn’t know how to get him away from said glass seeing as Angel refused to move from under the counter.

“Angel, don’t move,” Husk said firmly, eyeing the glass warily. This proved to be a mistake.

Angel froze in place, but he was shaking bad, and his sobs didn’t get any quieter. He looked up at Husk, and Husk’s heart sank as he recognized fear in Angel’s gaze. “It’s okay,” he told him softly. “I just want to get the glass out of the way. I need you to hold still for a minute.”

Angel shifted to press himself as far back against the counter as he could, and Husk’s heart skipped a beat. “M’sorry. I didn’t mean to break it. Just— Got scared, I-I’m sorry—“

“It’s okay,” Husk said hastily. “It’s okay, kid. Just don’t move.”

Slowly, cautiously, he reached forward to gather the glass into a small pile, and sweep it out from under the counter. “Okay… There you go. All gone. You can move now.”

Angel hesitated for a second before starting to scoot a little closer—and immediately putting his hand down on a small piece of glass Husk had missed.

Angel shrieked, instinctively jerking forward and hugging Husk tightly. “Ow— Ow, ow, ow, bad—“

Husk froze for a split second, then hugged him back, holding Angel’s body against his own securely. “I know. I know it hurts. But you’re going to stay real still and let me see it, aren’t you?”

Husk had to repeat the question twice before Angel finally answered with a miserable nod. He moved back and held his hand out for Husk to see, and despite the blood dripping from the wound, Husk was pretty sure it wasn’t deep. “Alright. I’m gonna pull this out for you.”

Angel yanked his hand back, blinking hard and shaking his head. “No. S’gonna hurt.”

“Only a little, Angel. You’ll be fine.”

“No!”

Okay, he needed a distraction. Distraction, distraction… Husk glanced around the room, trying to find something. He caught a glimpse of his own wings out of the corner of his eye and smiled. “Do you want to play a game?”

Angel’s eyes widened a little, and he rubbed one with his fist. “Mhm…”

“Okay. How about you count how many symbols are on my wings, and see how fast you can count them all?”

“Okay,” Angel whispered. The way he spoke, the K sounded more like a T, and Husk couldn’t help smiling a little. It was kinda cute, even if he didn’t know what was going on.

Angel used one of his free hands to point at each symbol he could see in Husk’s wings, frowning and restarting halfway through multiple times.

As he did, Husk sneakily got his claws on the shard of glass, and plucked it out of Angel’s hand without an issue.

Angel yelped in surprise, looking down.

Husk laughed, patting his hand. “See, it didn’t hurt so bad, now, did it, whiny? You’re alright.”

Angel managed a small smile, then poked at the wound and started giggling. “Doesn’ hurt.”

“That’s right. And you got yourself out from under the bar.” Husk patted Angel’s shoulder. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you’re doing good.”

Angel looked at him, concentrating deeply like he was trying to figure something out, then pointed to a nearby table.

Husk slowly stood up, squinting. All that was there was a stack of papers Charlie had left out. “What about them?”

Angel made grabby hands toward them, shooing Husk over to the table.

“You want these? …alright. Here.” Husk shrugged and passed the papers over, watching as Angel clumsily sifted through the stack, multiple sheets of paper slipping to the floor.

He finally found what he was looking for, handing it to Husk. It was some of Charlie’s research on coping mechanisms, and…

Age Regression.

Husk could’ve kicked himself. That’s why this felt familiar. Damn, he should pay more attention to the princess, then…

Angel was watching Husk anxiously, one hand trailing to his mouth so he could bite at his fingers.

Husk didn’t notice, scanning the page and trying to find the important information quickly. Headspace of a child… Safe space… May need a caregiver…

When he was done, he looked up at Angel again, smiling softly. “Alright, kid. Thank you for telling me.”

Angel smiled at him around his index finger, and Husk chuckled at the sight, reaching up to gently tug his hand down. “Okay, no biting your hands, Angel. That’s not good for you.”

Angel pouted, trying to pull his hand back. Husk didn’t let go. “No, Angel.”

Angel’s eyes welled with tears almost instantly, and Husk carefully squeezed his hand. “Breathe. You’re alright. We’re gonna talk and get you something to drink, so there’s no biting.”

“I don’ wanna get up,” Angel said quietly. “Stay here.”

“You don’t want to walk to the kitchen with me?”

Angel shook his head.

“Okay… How about you sit up at the bar, and we can talk?”

Angel nodded reluctantly, reaching up for Husk.

“Kid, I— I can’t carry you.”

“I know. Help.”

Husk moved closer and let Angel grab onto him, practically climbing the cat’s body like a ladder to get to his feet. “T’ank ‘ou.” He’d sounded pretty small before, despite his best efforts, but now that he knew Husk was okay with him being little, he let himself slip further into the childish voice. His words slurred together a little, and he kept skipping over letters. “Walkin’… ‘s hard like this.”

Husk nodded, taking all four of Angel’s hands in his and leading him to one of the stools. “Alright, you sit right here, and I promise you won’t have to walk around any more tonight. I’m just… gonna get you some water, and we’re gonna talk about what’s going on.”

Angel nodded, absently poking at the wound in his hand as Husk went to get him a glass of water. He set it in front of him, and Angel didn’t try to pick it up this time, leaning down to sip through the straw.

He mumbled another “thank you” around it, and Husk patted his head. “No problem, kid.” He walked around to sit next to him, smiling softly. “Do you want to tell me why you were hiding?”

“It… stormed las’ night,” Angel mumbled. “It… Loud, an’ I had to walk in the rain, an’ it was really, really late ‘cause— ‘cause Val was—“ He squeezed his eyes shut. “Really mad. Really really mad, I— I messed up, did everything bad, he—“

“Hey, hey… Breathe.” Husk held a hand out like he wanted to touch Angel, but didn’t get too close without permission. “Deep breaths, baby. You’re back home now. You’re safe.”

Angel nodded shakily, gripping the edge of the counter with his upper hands and holding onto the stool with the lower pair.

“Can you take a drink of water for me? It’ll help you calm down.”

Prying one hand away from the counter, Angel picked up the glass and took another few sips.

“There you go. You’re safe. Believe me, I’m not gonna let anybody hurt you while you’re with me.”

Angel nodded, letting out a quiet whine as he slowly managed a proper breath.

“There you go, keep breathing… Good. You were telling me about the storm, remember? You didn’t get back till morning, you had to walk in the rain, it was loud… and…?”

“Lightning,” Angel whispered. “In the window. Scared me, an’ it… looked like all the lights and the c— the ca— cameras, and I jus’ wanted to hide.”

“That sounds really scary,” Husk said gently. “But there’s no one watching you, here. You can just hide in your room all day, if you want, or sit behind the bar with me.”

“I can?” Angel whispered, looking up at him.

“Yeah, of course. Nothing to be afraid of here.”

“Thanks, kitty,” Angel mumbled, managing a small smile.

“How about this? I’ll sit with you until everybody’s awake and around the hotel, and it’s light outside, so you’re not alone. Then we’ll get you to your room or to a couch out here, and you can sleep.”

Angel nodded emphatically. “Need sleep. Really really bad.”

“We can go now, if you want. The couch is only in the next room, so I could watch you from here and make sure you’re okay.”

“You promise you’ll make sure?” Angel asked. “Pinky promise?”

Husk held out one claw. ”Lo prometto, mio angioletto.”

Angel’s hand froze halfway to Husk’s. “You…”

Husk laughed, having waited a while for the perfect moment to let Angel know he spoke his language. The expression of shock and excitement on his face was beyond worth it.

Instead of linking their fingers, Angel lunged forward and hugged Husk. The angle he was leaning over at let him lie against Husk’s chest, and he nuzzled his head up under his chin, closing his eyes. Angel was perfectly content to stay where he was, and didn’t let go when Husk started to get up.

Not really paying attention, he heard a quiet sigh and vaguely registered that he was being awkwardly gathered into Husk’s arms, their height difference making it hard for Husk to hold him. He did his best, though, and within a few minutes, he’d managed to carry Angel over to the couch.

He tried to set Angel down, but the spider just dragged him down, too, using all six arms to make sure he couldn’t escape. “Kid, c’mon, I can’t— Ow, Angel, my back— Seriously? I— I got a job to— I can’t cuddle all morning, or whatever you want.”

“Please?”

”Angioletto…”

“Please? Please please please?” Angel whined, reluctantly opening his eyes.

Husk hesitated, and Angel let his bottom lip poke out in a pitiful pout, doing his best puppy eyes.

“Oh— Oh, that’s— That ain’t fair, kid, come on. You’re gonna play dirty? Really?”

“Pleeeeaase? Please stay? I don’ wanna be alone…” Angel pleaded softly.

Husk sighed heavily. “Fine. I’ll… I’ll sit with you, okay? Not cuddles, I’ll have to move and you’ll wake up. But I’ll sit with you.”

Angel gasped happily, hugging him tighter. “T’ank you!”

Husk had to dig his fangs into his tongue hard to keep from yelping in pain as everything in his back either cracked, stretched, or possibly just snapped in half. He wasn’t sure. It felt like they did. “O-Okay! Yeah! You’re… welcome, or whatev— oh, shit,” he whispered, doing his best not to be dragged down. “Ow. Okay, kiddo, just… just let me go, please. I didn’t die half as young as you, you know.”

“Oh!” Angel let go, eyes widening. “M’sorry. I hurt you?”

“No, I’m… I’m alright, angioletto. Just not super… bendy.”

“‘Kay. M’sorry,” Angel mumbled.

Husk patted his head, smiling when Angel leaned happily into the touch. “I forgive you, kid. Now get some rest, okay? I’ll be here the whole time.”

“You promise?”

He leaned down to kiss his forehead. “I promise, baby.”

———

Hours later, well into the afternoon, Angel slowly blinked up at Husk. For a moment, he just stared at him, taking in the fact that he really hadn’t moved.

Husk had stayed with him.

He closed his eyes again and hugged Husk as best he could with him sitting up and Angel lying down. He wrapped two arms around Husk’s waist, awkwardly resting his head on his belly. “Hi. Thanks for staying with me, Husky.”

“Don’t call me that. Are you feeling okay now?”

Angel nodded. “Yeah. I’m… Yeah. Thanks.”

“Do you want to… talk about all that?”

“Is there anybody else around?”

“No. Charlie, Vaggie, and Alastor are off talking about hotel bullshit, Niffty’s… somewhere… And Pentious is out with those stupid eggs. So we’re alone.”

“Okay. Good,” Angel whispered. “What… What do you wanna know?”

“Is this a new thing?”

He shook his head. “Nah. I’ve been doing it for years.”

“So you know how to… handle yourself? You just do it on your own?”

Angel nodded.

“Are you… happy with that?”

“I… I have been, yeah. I’m good.”

Husk looked away, his face heating up as he muttered, “Do you want any help?”

Angel looked up at him, his expression unreadable. He sat up slowly, lower arms hugging himself. “What’re you proposin’, exactly?”

“Y’know, you… you seemed pretty small. Kid that little ought to at least have… I don’t know, some kind of babysitter,” Husk mumbled.

“And you’re… offerin’ to take care’a me… Why?”

“Because, I… You shouldn’t be alone. Especially like that.”

Angel leaned back against the couch, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He flexed one hand, curling it into a fist before stretching his fingers as far as he could, wincing at the sting of his cut being stretched. He inhaled slowly, and exhaled through his teeth, a few times, trying to relax a little before answering. “We’re gonna have to talk boundaries. I… I know you’re all about that, but… y’know.”

“Of course, kid. Whatever you need, I’m here,” Husk said softly. He still didn’t look over at him.

“Let’s— Let’s be clear, I ain’t lookin’ for a parent, okay?” Angel said, trying to force a harsh tone so he knew Husk was listening. “That means no treatin’ me like a kid when I’m not in that headspace, no thinkin’ you got the right to punish me if I do somethin’ wrong, no enforcin’ rules, no none of that. I don’t belong to you. I’m still— I gotta be in control.”

Husk nodded. He wanted to say something, but he got the feeling that Angel wasn’t finished.

He was correct. “You don’t get to touch me if I say no, you don’t get to use me bein’ small as an opportunity to get me to do stuff I wouldn’t normally do, you don’t get to try and trigger my regression when I don’t ask for it, none of that shit. I ain’t yours. I don’t belong to you. You’re— If you wanna help me, that’s you doing me a favor. So I make the rules. Not you. I’m not… I’m not yours.”

Husk was quiet for a moment to be sure he was done, then simply said, “I know all of that, Angel.”

Angel hugged himself tighter, now with both pairs of arms. “I-I’m sorry. I know. I know you know. There’s just… There’s… Not everybody realizes all that.”

“All I’m asking you to let me do is what I did last night. Help you feel better when you’re upset, do some stuff for you so you don’t have to worry about taking care of yourself. Outside of that…” Husk shrugged. “We’re friends, or whatever you consider us. The normal routine’s still the default, unless you tell me otherwise. Then we’ll go find somewhere quiet to do whatever you gotta do, or you can hide behind the bar if I have to work.”

“And no telling the others?” Angel asked, squinting at Husk and trying to read his expression.

“Of course not.”

“Promise me.”

“I pr—“

“No.” Angel cut him off immediately, folding his arms. “Look me in the eyes and promise me. For real.”

Husk turned to do so, hesitating a little when he saw how deadly serious Angel’s expression was.

“Promise me that… that I’m safe with you,” Angel said quietly. “You’re really gonna help me. Promise.”

Husk was silent for a moment, gathering his thoughts to figure out how best to say this. Eventually, he decided on making use of some interesting information that Angel had divulged one night while drunk at the bar:

“I promise, Anthony.”

Chapter Text

“I’m sorry.”

Emily closed her eyes as Sera planted a soft kiss on her forehead, then turned to walk away.

Emily looked up, not trying to hide the tears welling in her eyes.

She didn’t recognize her own voice. Before she could realize what she was doing, she was saying things that she wouldn’t have dared to even think, before.

“I hate you.”

Sera froze, slowly turning to look at her. “What did you say?”

“I hate you,” Emily whispered. Her tears overflowed, and as she spoke, her voice grew louder and louder, until she was screaming. “I hate you. I hate everything you’ve done and I hate all the lies you told and I hate that you told them to me and I hate that you think I need your protection and I hate that I was too stupid to see it. You hurt people. You hurt people, you hurt all those people, and you don’t even care!”

A sob tore out of her throat, and Emily had to rub at her eyes hard before continuing. “You don’t care! You don’t care about any of them just because they weren’t good enough for you! What if I wasn’t good enough? What if I did something bad? You wouldn’t even love me anymore! You— You would hurt me!”

Sera stepped back toward her. “Emily, I would never—“

“No!” Emily stepped forward and shoved Sera back as hard as she could. “No, no, no! You did bad! You did more bad than them! And you hurt them! You don’t care about anybody, you— you mean, horrible, selfish—“

She barely hesitated before using words she’d never wanted to say before, but had heard… quite often, from Adam.

“—selfish fucking bitch!”

Sera’s eyes went wide, and she stepped back.

Emily was openly weeping now, her whole body wracked with sobs as she tried to keep the temor out of her voice. “I hate you. You’re bad. I hate you.”

With that, she turned to jump over the balcony ledge, gasping softly as she slipped on the edge, taking a second to force her wings to move in her hysteria.

Emily barely remembered getting back to her room, just being vaguely aware of how fuzzy and uncoordinated she felt. Her knees quivered and gave out when she touched down on the floor, and she sank to the ground, covering her eyes with her hands. She spent a moment there, rocking back and forth and sobbing, before shakily crawling forward to reach under her bed.

She pulled out a little box, clumsily pushing open the lid to get to her things. The first thing she found was her butterfly plushie.

Sera gave that to her.

Sera gave that to her because she loved her.

Oh, no, she’d been so mean to Sera.

But that was because Sera had been mean to all the poor demon people! Sera didn’t love anybody!

Sera loved her.

No, she didn’t! Besides, Emily was so mean and she’d been bad so Sera definitely didn’t love her now. Sera hated her and she was gonna take away her job and maybe her wings and she was gonna send her to Hell and maybe she’d even take her pretty butterfly because she didn’t love her enough anymore.

Emily doubled over, now curled in a fetal position, and wailed.

She wanted Sera. She just wanted Sera so bad, please—

Had Sera known that, she would’ve come in an instant. She never would’ve left Emily so alone.

But she’d assumed that Emily wanted space, so she’d stayed away. She’d rushed around, trying to settle arguments and keep peace and verbally gut Adam like a fish all at once.

By the time she went to find Emily, it had been nearly two hours. As she approached the bedroom door, Sera could hear soft weeping from inside.

She knocked quietly. “Emily? May I come in?”

Emily didn’t answer.

“Emily, dear… Can you hear me?”

Nothing.

“Emily, you’re worrying me. I’ll leave if you like, but please answer.”

No response except for a miserable whine.

“Okay… I’m going to come inside, Emily. Please tell me to stop if you don’t want me here.”

Sera pushed the door open slowly, stepping inside and closing it behind her when Emily didn’t protest. She gasped softly when she saw Emily, her heart sinking.

Emily was curled up on her side, sobbing pitifully, hugging her butterfly plush as tightly as she could. Her wings were wrapped around her like a hug, and one of her thumbs had slipped into her mouth.

“Oh, Em… Oh, Emmy, come here, darling.” Sera knelt next to her, easily gathering the little angel into her arms. She cradled her in her lap, rocking her back and forth. “Shh, shh, shh, I’ve got you. I’m here.”

Emily didn’t acknowledge Sera beyond instinctively turning toward her. She kept crying, tears already soaking into Sera’s dress.

“Emily? Can you talk to me, please?” Sera asked softly. “Just tell me what you need. Anything, and it’s yours. Please just talk to me, dear.”

Emily looked up at her helplessly, her expression contorting as another round of sobs built up.

“You… You can’t talk to me?”

Emily hid her face in Sera’s dress again.

“Oh… Well, okay, that’s okay. You don’t have to talk. What… What were you doing, before I…”

Sera trailed off, having looked over to see the contents of Emily’s box.

Pacifier, baby blanket, gray and blue butterfly onesie. Hair bows, and colorful clips, shaped like flowers and butterflies, that children often put in their hair and wings. A pastel blue journal, cover decorated with stickers. A coloring book and a box of crayons.

Oh.

“Okay, little one. I’m here now. You’re okay,” Sera murmured. “I understand.” She reached over and took Emily’s pacifier from the box, gently nudging her thumb out of the way to place it in her mouth. Still rocking her, she began to sing a song she knew Emily found soothing.

“You say I am loved… when I can’t feel a thing… You say I am strong, when I think I am weak… And You say I am held when I am falling short… And when I don’t belong, oh, You say I am Yours… And I believe… Oh, I believe…”

Emily had always been fascinated with human souls; she loved to talk to everyone she met, share all the things that brought them joy. She’d been enamored with music from the moment she’d heard the humans play it, and even as it progressed through the years, it never, ever failed to cheer her up. She especially liked their worship music, always saying that it reminded her of what a wonderful world they lived in.

And Sera had been the one to introduce pain and suffering and cruelty into Emily’s wonderful little world.

Sera leaned down and kissed Emily’s forehead, murmuring, “It’s okay, darling. I’m going to figure things out. I’m going to fix everything for you. I promise.”

Emily’s cries had been reduced to sniffles and some squeaky whimpering sounds, and Sera kept whispering to her. “You’re so brave, Em. Such a little thing dealing with all this scary stuff, you must be terrified. You’ve been so courageous.”

Emily buried her face a little deeper in the fabric of Sera’s dress, her wings quivering. She made a small whining sound, one hand curling into a fist around one of Sera’s fingers.

“What is it, Em? What do you need?”

Emily just mumbled a few quiet nonsense words, babbling to herself. As the last of her tears fell from her eyes, they began to close without her permission. She blinked up at Sera sleepily.

Sera chuckled, kissing her hair. “Very well, then. It is getting quite late, so I believe now is the time little girls take their naps, yes? Let’s get you to bed.” She reached over to take the onesie she’d seen from Emily’s box. “Do you want to wear this?”

Emily still didn’t answer, still babbling quietly to herself. Sera tried to make some sense of it, quickly realizing that it was just nonsense, and Emily wasn’t really saying anything.

As a seraphim, Sera wasn’t exactly well-acquainted with children or their habits, but from what she knew, this behavior seemed to be that of an infant, or at least a very young toddler. Understanding that Emily wouldn’t be able to communicate with her very well, she just hoped that she’d at least be able to cry or fuss if she was uncomfortable, and said, “Alright, dear. I think we ought to get you into your pajamas. I’m going to take your dress off, okay? You just let me know if that’s not what you want.”

Emily didn’t protest as Sera unzipped the back of her dress and started to ease it over her wings. She did squirm a lot, though, squeaking in alarm when her arm got stuck in her sleeve. She looked up at Sera plaintively, wiggling on the floor like a distressed caterpillar.

Sera laughed, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “Shh, shh. It’s alright, dear, hold still— Emily, stop squirming, I can’t— Emily!”

Emily kept wiggling away, so that Sera missed every time she tried to grab her wrist and free her. She didn’t really mean to, but once they both figured out what she was doing, it wasn’t long before they’d both dissolved into giggles, Emily still wriggling around while Sera doubled over in a fit of laughter above her.

Eventually, Sera managed to stop laughing for long enough to catch Emily’s wrist, gently removing it from the sleeve. “There you go.”

Emily made a happy squealing sound, waving at Sera as if to show her that her hand was free and still perfectly functional.

“Yes, darling, you’re just fine. Now, please hold still so I can get the other one…”

Sera only had Emily’s arm halfway out of the other sleeve when she started squirming again, managing to get herself all the way out of the dress and beaming at Sera proudly.

Sera chuckled, starting to fold the dress up. “Good job, Em. You did it.”

Emily clapped her hands happily, giggling and reaching for her onesie.

“Here, now all your squirming is gonna come in handy. Let me get it over your legs and then you can just wiggle the rest of the way in.” Sera gently grabbed Emily’s shoulders and held her still, pausing for a moment to make sure she’d stay that way.

Emily held still, blinking up at Sera with big, curious eyes.

Sera booped her nose. “Now you stay right there, okay? There you go. Good girl. Now lift up your little feet for me, please…” She nudged Emily’s heel, and Emily took the cue to lift her foot off the ground so that Sera could slide the foot of the onesie on over it. They did the same with the other foot, and Sera managed to pull the pajamas on up to Emily’s thighs. “Wonderful. Alright, now, I’m gonna hold this still…”

Sera gripped the onesie tightly, and grinned at Emily. “Now you just wiggle the rest of the way.”

Emily beamed and started wiggling as if her life depended on it, managing to scoot her way into the pajamas without a problem. Sera helped her get her arms through the sleeves, and nudged her to sit up so that she could zip up the back for her.

When they were finished, Sera held up Emily’s butterfly plush and made it hop through the air like it was flying toward her. “Now you match your friend!”

Emily gasped softly, her eyes widening. She babbled something excitedly, reaching for the plush and hugging it tightly to her chest.

Sera looked in Emily’s box to see if she had anything else she might want. There was a light blue sleep mask, with a silky white ribbon. Sera picked it up and started to say something, but paused.

Emily’s pacifier was light blue, and had a little white bow charm on it.

All of her things matched.

Sera laughed. “Aww, aren’t you just a little fashionista? You made all your stuff matching?” She cupped Emily’s face in her hands, gently squishing her face.

She knew that Emily wasn’t understanding any of this, made evident by the blank, slightly confused (but happy) way she was staring up at her. But she kept talking anyway. Maybe she could exhaust her little brain with trying to keep up and get her to sleep easier.

“You made all of it match,” she repeated, squishing her again. “It’s very pretty. You’re so smart, dear. And just adorable…”

Emily giggled softly, lazily reaching up to bat Sera’s hands away. Sera gathered her into her arms instead, lifting her up and putting her on the bed. “Let’s get you to sleep, darling, yes? I’m gonna put your mask on to block out the light, if that’s okay. I don’t want you to wake up too fast.”

Emily had closed her eyes the moment her head hit the pillow, worn out from all her crying.

Sera smiled, carefully placing the mask over her eyes. “Sleep well, dear. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

A few minute later, after Sera thought Emily was asleep, Emily reached over and grabbed her hand.

“Em? What’s wrong?”

“Do you hate me?” Emily whispered.

Sera jumped a little at the sound of her voice, but didn’t hesitate. “No. No, darling, I don’t hate you. I love you so, so much. I love you. Now get some rest, okay?”

Sera leaned down and kissed Emily’s forehead, murmuring, “I love you. Sweet dreams, my little angel. I love you so much.”

Emily drifted off to sleep with a small smile on her lips, Sera’s hand still clasped in hers.

Chapter Text

Lucifer could still remember the first time it happened.

He’d been sitting in Lilith’s lap, and she’d been playing with his hair. Both hands, gently scratching his scalp, almost the way you’d pet an animal. He’d been positively giddy about it, practically melted into a sleepy puddle of happiness and absolute, complete adoration for his wife. He remembered slumping against her, feeling her quiet laugh in her chest as she kissed the top of his head, still stroking his hair.

You’re so cute, she’d told him, smiling.

He’d just let out a smothered hum of bliss.

He hadn’t even noticed how fuzzy he’d started to feel until he was curled up against her, both hands gripping her dress and his face pressed into her chest. Lilith had started to rock him back and forth, and suddenly, Lucifer had memories of childhood.

Lilith had told him so many times that she didn’t mind taking care of him. Not at all! It was her pleasure, actually. She loved seeing him all tiny. She thought it was precious. She loved to see him heal. She was honored to help.

Then came the teasing.

Oh, wouldn’t the papers go wild if they knew that the king of Hell had a teddy bear. Wouldn’t the news just have a field day with the knowledge that he named every one of his rubber ducks and made sure to keep a schedule of which ones he took in the bath so that none of them were left out more often than others. Imagine how the sinners would laugh at him if they knew about the pacifiers Lilith had so lovingly helped him decorate.

He could remember squirming uncomfortably, quietly whining, making her laugh and pat his head and tell him she was only kidding.

Then it was annoyance.

Darling, can we do this later? I’m busy.

Luci, let’s make this quick, please. I’m really not in the mood to mother you.

Lucifer, what’s your problem, now? Nothing even happened!

That was when the guilt started. When he started losing sleep so he could stay awake late and regress on his own. When he started being more fussy and uncomfortable whenever Lilith did help him, because he never felt as safe as before. When he started checking their schedule almost religiously, making sure he would push those stupid feelings down until a day that they didn’t have anything better to do.

Then—and this was the memory he hated the most—came the anger.

Lucifer, why the fuck do you have to act more like a baby than our actual fucking baby? Lucifer, I don’t care if Charlie’s stuffies make you feel small, you should be able to manage your fucking emotions better than that. Lucifer, how can I trust you to be a father if you can’t even act like an adult? Lucifer, I swear, if you cry over some stupid thing I said one more time, I’m going to the news and telling all of Hell about your stupid little habit.

He’d done his best. He really had. He’d told Charlie stories and held her and rocked her to sleep and sang for her and fed her and loved her more than anything and done all the things dads were supposed to do. And he thought he’d done pretty good.

Then he and Lilith started fighting more. Charlie started getting left behind more and more often, and no matter what he did, Lilith always got to her first. Somehow she was always the hero, sweeping the little girl up and carrying her away from whatever upset her.

More often than not, that meant away from Lucifer.

And then one day, she left, and she didn’t come back. And neither did Charlie.

And Lucifer had been alone.

But it was okay! Because then Charlie had called him and he’d helped with the hotel and he was really crushing the whole “dad” thing if he said so himself!

One thing he wasn’t so sure about was that—ugh—Radio Demon. Honestly, could you be a little more on the nose? Self-centered prick.

Or maybe not?

Because when he’d found Lucifer regressed and frightened, he hadn’t complained when Lucifer hugged him. Maybe it had been stiff and forced, but he’d rubbed his back and hushed him gently, and carried him back to his room.

But maybe.

Because the next day, he’d brushed him off and they’d bickered just as they always did.

But maybe not, because the next time Lucifer had wanted to be small, and he’d nervously tugged at Alastor’s coat, Alastor had agreed to help.

And he consistently checked up on him and asked if he’d been small recently enough and if he needed anything.

But then he’d tell him he looked like shit and deny that he’d tripped him down the stairs even though Lucifer saw his foot and no, he couldn’t prove it, but that was—

Things were complicated.

Lucifer was kind of getting tired of complicated relationships. Really tired, actually, especially when the uncertainty started to remind him of Lilith.

Surely it was only a matter of time before Alastor would tell him to just grow up and do his job.

So Lucifer didn’t give him a chance to. No, sir. He wasn’t doing that again. Not. A. Chance.

He made improvements to the hotel daily, whether they were little things like helping Niffty clean or leaving some food by Angel’s door when he’d had a particularly rough day, or bigger things, like the swimming pool he’d installed.

Whenever Alastor asked, no matter how much he pried, Lucifer insisted that he was fine. He’d regressed on his own the night before (he hadn’t). He hadn’t felt the need to (he had. Oh, he had). He wasn’t that upset, he just needed a break to take a nap or something (he just went to his room to brainstorm more ideas for the hotel).

He had a job. He wasn’t about to waste his time on stupid things like acting like a child, and he definitely wasn’t going to inconvenience a man he spent half his time fighting with anyway by asking for his help.

———

Yeah, that worked out.

“He asked you not to touch his fucking ears!” Angel snapped. “So you don’t touch his fucking ears.”

Alastor’s eyes were practically gleaming. “Angel, dear, I’ll do whatever I please. Husker belongs to me.”

“No, he fucking doesn’t!” Angel shrieked.

The sound made Lucifer flinch.

Husk tried to grab Angel’s arm and pull him back, but Angel shook him off, stalking forward and getting right in Alastor’s face. “If you don’t stop treating him like a pet or some shit, I’ll fucking kill you. I don’t care if you’re some big, bad, scary radio bitch. I’ll rip that stupid smile right out of your fucking face.”

Alastor just grinned at him. “Will you, now?”

Angel’s eyes narrowed, and Husk’s widened. “Angel, don’t—“

Angel lunged at Alastor, knocking him to the ground and screaming profanity at him seemingly without taking any breaths between words. All six of his arms were out and hitting Alastor hard, two hands wrapping around his throat.

Immediately, everyone was on their feet. Husk was trying to pull Angel back, desperately pleading with him to get ahold of himself. Charlie was rambling nervously as she tried to get in between the two men, and Vaggie was snarling curses at both of them, threatening to maim them both if they didn’t quit fighting.

It was so loud. It was too loud. And now Alastor was getting hurt and Angel was crying and he was still screaming through tears and all of it was happening at once and it was too much.

Lucifer’s face screwed up like he was in pain, and he gripped his cane hard, trying to ground himself.

As Vaggie and Husk dragged Angel backward, he hissed, “Disgusting, freaky piece of shit,” and it pushed Lucifer hard over the edge.

Tears welled in his eyes, and the moment they started to fall, he was in too deep to be pulled out.

It took everyone a moment to notice that the little king had huddled in a ball on the couch, hugging his knees to his chest and crying softly into them.

Charlie was looking Alastor over to be sure he was okay, but they both picked up the sound of quiet crying at the same time. Immediately, the two of them rushed over, with Charlie sitting next to her father and pulling him up against her side, and Alastor kneeling in front of them to speak softly to Lucifer. “Lucifer? What happened, dear?”

Lucifer whined loudly, holding onto Charlie’s sleeve tightly.

“Oh, poor thing… It seems like someone’s shouting might’ve frightened him,” Alastor said pointedly, glaring at Angel.

Angel glared right back, but he couldn’t bring himself to stay angry at the sight of Lucifer so upset. As mad as he was with Alastor, he didn’t want Lucifer to be upset. “Luci? Hey, baby… It’s okay… I’m sorry, hon. I didn’t mean to be so loud. I know that was scary. I should’ve thought about everybody else before I did that.”

Lucifer didn’t respond, but Charlie felt him relax just the tiniest bit, and nodded to Angel. “I think he understands. You two can talk about it later, okay? Right now, everybody needs to take a breather, and Al and I will get him up to his room!”

Angel nodded, finally allowing Husk to pull him away. Vaggie and Charlie exchanged a glance, and Vaggie nodded before herding Niffty away as well. And then the three of them were alone.

They sat in silence for a moment, the only sound that of Lucifer’s quiet sobs as onto Charlie tightly.

She kissed the top of his head, murmuring, “It’s okay, kiddo. We’ve got you. We’ll take care of you.”

Charlie’s eyes widened in surprise when all that did was make him cry harder.

Alastor sighed, standing up. “Charlie, why don’t you go on and get his things, and I’ll take him up to my room where we won’t be bothered?”

Charlie nodded, giving Lucifer’s forehead one more kiss before gently nudging him toward Alastor. “Go on, bud… It’s okay.”

Lucifer tried to hold onto her, wanting to keep hiding his face. He hated people seeing his face when he cried. He looked so stupid, and ugly, and he hated it.

But Charlie wouldn’t let him hang on, and Alastor was moving closer to pick him up, so Lucifer wasn’t able to do much more than whine in distress when his grip on Charlie’s sleeve was pulled away. The instant he was lifted into Alastor’s arms, he hid his face in his chest, tears soaking into Alastor’s shirt.

Lucifer felt Alastor shudder slightly, and as fuzzy as his mind was, he could still clearly imagine the way his smile tensed, the way his eyes narrowed, the way his ears pinned back in discomfort at the touch.

But he was holding him anyway.

Stupid. He was so stupid. He’d known he was going to inconvenience him, that’s why he hadn’t asked for help, but here he was doing it anyway, without any warning. Useless, stupid, inconvenient, irritating, embarrassment.

As guilty as he felt for crying all over him, the feeling only made Lucifer cry harder.

He cried all the way up to Alastor’s room. Alastor did his best to soothe him, rocking him a little as they walked, rubbing his back, humming softly, anything he could think of. None of it worked.

Alastor locked the door when they got to his room, not wanting to risk anyone coming in who wasn’t Charlie. He sat in a large armchair, hoping Lucifer would like that the space was soft and comfy and big enough for both of them. Lucifer barely seemed to notice. He stayed in Alastor’s lap, hugging him tightly and still refusing to look up at him.

“Can you talk to me, little one?” Alastor asked quietly, trying to lean back and look Lucifer in the eyes.

He got no response.

“Lucifer, I asked you a question. Answer me.”

After a moment, Lucifer shook his head just a little.

“Thank you. Just nod or shake your head, then. Would you just like some quiet, or shall I play us a song?” He would’ve offered to talk to him, but he’d never been good with children and he suspected he might just make matters worse. And he wasn’t exactly keen on getting more snot and tears on his clothes, so he figured it was favorable for both of them that he stayed quiet.

Lucifer used one shaking hand to point to Alastor.

Alastor waved a hand, and the radios in the room—there were several, so that the sound could surround them—started to play a quiet tune. After a minute, Alastor started humming along, then added the words: ”Des nuits d’amour à plus finir… Un grand bonheur qui prend sa place… Des ennuis, des chagrins s’effacent… Heureux, heureux à en mourir…”

Still in tears, Lucifer tried to hum along. He ended up completely off tune, and Alastor’s ears flicked in irritation when he started babbling along in what he could only assume the child intended to be “French.”

“Hush, dear,” Alastor murmured, stroking Lucifer’s hair. “Just… Why don’t you just focus on calming down? Let me do the singing.”

Alastor hadn’t prayed since he was a child, but when Lucifer stopped trying to sing, he looked to the ceiling and silently thanked God. However, he did ask, “Does this mean you’re up to talking, now?”

Lucifer just looked up with big, watery eyes. He looked so sad and pitiful.

It made Alastor sick.

He sighed, leaning down to kiss Lucifer’s forehead. “That’s alright, love. At least you’ve stopped crying! Mostly! That’s… That’s wonderful.”

Lucifer managed a tiny smile, and Alastor returned it with a tired one. “Yes, darling, you’re doing very good. Very proud of you and all that.”

There was a moment of silence as the little king just stared at him.

Alastor gasped softly when Lucifer’s entire body weight slammed into his chest as he lunged at him in a hug. His voice strained, he whispered, “Yes, love, I’m proud of you. You’re doing well. I know all the yelling must’ve frightened you.”

His eyes narrowed a little, and he gently pried Lucifer off of him, holding him a little farther away. “However… I wonder why you slipped so quickly, and why you were so upset. And why you wouldn’t show anyone your face… And why you’ve hesitated every time I’ve mentioned regression recently… How have you been, recently? Not doing all that well?”

Lucifer cringed, whining quietly. After a moment, he whispered, “M’sorry.”

“Talk to me, dear. Tell me the truth.”

Lucifer shook his head.

“Lucifer… I cannot care for you properly if you insist on keeping secrets. Talk.”

Lucifer blurted “‘S stupid!” before he realized what he was saying. His throat felt tight, and his eyes were welling with tears again. “Gotta… Help th’ hotel. King ‘n stuff. Stupid and dumb and bad an’ I gotta… gotta do better.”

“Have you been small at all recently?”

Lucifer looked away, and Alastor had his answer.

“Dear… It isn’t stupid. And you’ve done plenty for the hotel, and for Charlie, and for all of Hell. You’ve done enough. This is something you need to do, and it’s perfectly fine for you to do so. In fact, I insist. I quite enjoy caring for you, despite how it… may appear. And it would spoil my fun to bicker with someone who isn’t in the mental state to snap back, so I must insist that you do what must be done to take care of yourself, is that understood?”

Alastor looked at him expectantly, but Lucifer just blinked at him.

Right.

He was small.

Alastor sighed, reaching up to stroke Lucifer’s hair. “It’s okay, darling. Be as small as you need to. I’m here.”

Lucifer gave him a tiny smile, cuddling against Alastor’s chest again.

To keep the time passing quickly, Alastor started the song again and continued singing along. ”Il est entré dans mon cœur / Une part de bonheur. / Dont je connais la cause… C’est toi pour moi, moi pour toi dans la vie / Il me l’a dit, m’a juré pour la vie…”

By the time Charlie showed up, Lucifer was back to being nonverbal, babbling quiet nonsense to himself. He kept trying to grab at Alastor’s tie, only to be repeatedly swatted away.

Not seeming to notice how Alastor’s eye was twitching and his ears were pinned back, Charlie started cooing at Lucifer. “Aww, hi, baby! Hi! Oh, you look sleepy, just a sleepy little baby, aren’t you, aww, you’re so sweet…”

Lucifer blinked up at her, one eye at a time, making Charlie giggle. She poked his stomach gently, beaming when it made him laugh. “Hi! Are you feeling better, now? I heard music when I— Aww, did Alastor sing you something? That’s adorable, no wonder you’re so sleepy… How about we say ‘thank you’? That was very nice of him.”

Lucifer looked up at Alastor and obediently babbled something that Alastor presumed was gratitude. “Yes, of… of course, dear.” He patted Lucifer’s head, laughing softly when the little one got his eyes crossed trying to look up at his hand. “Anytime.”

Charlie kissed Lucifer’s forehead, then looked up at Alastor. “Want me to take him, now? I know you’re not super comfortable with touches.”

“That would be lovely, my dear, thank you.”

“No problem!” Charlie easily picked Lucifer up, sitting down on the floor with him cradled in her lap. “Okay, baby, you want your paci? Yeah? Yeah, you do?”

Lucifer nodded. “Mhmm!”

Charlie grabbed the pacifier—white, with small yellow stars and decorated with a pair of little red wings—and placed it in his mouth. He accepted happily, eyes drifting shut as Charlie started to rock him back and forth.

Once he’d settled down a little, curled up in her arms, Charlie looked up at Alastor. “Did you talk to him at all? Figure out what had him so worked up?”

Alastor nodded. “Yes… it seems the little one felt that the hotel and his duties as king came before this, and, well… he’s neglected it for a while. He said it was ‘stupid,’ if I recall correctly. I tried to talk some sense into him, but unfortunately I don’t seem to possess your ability to make infants understand… intelligent speech.”

Charlie laughed, reaching up to pet Lucifer’s hair. “Aww, baby, you’re feeling really little today, then, hm?” To Alastor, she offered, “I could try to teach you? How to say things in a way that’ll click with him, I mean?”

Alastor considered for a moment, then gave her a singular nod.

“Okay, what did you tell him before?”

“That he’s done enough, he needs to do this, I enjoy taking care of him, and I can’t have fun arguing with him if he’s not functioning properly.”

Charlie snorted. “Okay, maybe we’ll leave that last part out until he’s bigger. But the rest is good! I usually repeat things a lot, just a lot of praise, and cute names. That way even if he doesn’t totally get it, he still feels loved and understands the gist of it. So instead of telling him that he’s done enough for us, tell him that he’s done such a good job, and he’s very smart and he’s a good king and you’re very proud of him.”

“…do I have to say all of that, exactly?”

“No, but something close, maybe!” Charlie motioned excitedly for him to come closer. “Come on! I believe in you!”

Alastor reluctantly knelt in front of her, reaching to touch Lucifer’s shoulder before hesitating.

Understanding that he didn’t want any more touches, Charlie got Lucifer’s attention for him, something that Alastor would never admit he was grateful for. When the little king looked up at him, Alastor’s voice caught in his throat for just a moment before he awkwardly told him, “You’ve done a very good job with the hotel, little one.”

A little bit of awareness flickered in Lucifer’s eyes, and Alastor nodded, repeating, “Yes, good job. You’ve done well.”

“Little kids usually don’t use ‘well’,” Charlie whispered helpfully. “They don’t know to associate it with positive things yet. Just say ‘good’ instead.”

Alastor sighed, but gave Lucifer the most genuine smile he could and told him, “You’ve done good, dear. I’m… I’m very proud of you.”

Lucifer giggled quietly. He turned his head toward Charlie, a little shy at the sudden flood of praise, but he was smiling.

“Okay, okay, now the part about liking to take care of him,” Charlie whispered excitedly. “Just let him know that you’re here. You’ve got him, he’s safe, it’s okay. That sort of thing.”

Alastor nodded, leaning a little closer and speaking softly. “I’m here, darling. You’re safe right here with us, hm? You’re safe.”

The king’s eyes were drifting shut again.

He didn’t really hear the rest of what Alastor said, but he knew it gave him a strange fuzzy feeling in his chest. The last of his stray tears soon dried on his cheeks, and he let himself relax completely, lulled into a quiet, calm, safe place by the quiet hum of radio static, two gentle voices, a hand in his hair and the easy back-and-forth motion of Charlie rocking him.

Babbling and whining happily around the pacifier, one hand instinctively curling to grip Charlie’s jacket, Lucifer let himself drift off to sleep as the kind words washed over him. He didn’t know who was saying what, really, but they both felt safe, and for the first time in a while, he felt like he was okay.

Such a good boy, such a little sweetie, so precious…

Oh, what a pretty little smile… it’s good to see you so content, dear…

Taking care of yourself isn’t stupid, you’re being so brave, letting us help, we’re so proud of you…

You’ve done so much, done such a good job, so good, you’ve done enough…

You’re enough.

You’ve been enough.

You are enough, you are, and it’s okay to let go now.

You’re enough.

Chapter Text

Husk didn’t really remember how they’d gotten to bed the previous night. His first thought was that perhaps he’d been drunk, but there was no telltale headache pulsing between his ears or grogginess as he struggled to wake up. Instead, he was relaxed, wings stretched out behind him on the bed, with a silky pink blanket pulled over top of him. His tail was curled over himself and–

Angel! Angel was here. Right. Pink. Angel’s bed. How’d he gotten to Angel’s bed? His head felt really fuzzy, but it wasn’t in a bad way, so Husk decided to ignore it. He didn’t like thinking about problems if he could ignore them.

Besides, Angel was there. Husk scooted a little closer, his tail curling tighter around the two of them. He’d never tell anyone, but he loved their height difference. He loved the way Angel could just envelop him in all his arms and rest his chin on top of Husk’s head, and he loved getting to snuggle into Angel’s chest fluff whenever they hugged, and–

Angel’s chest fluff. Currently right next to Husk, and looking very tempting. Husk pushed himself up a little, until he was half on top of Angel, nuzzling his face into the fluffy white fur. It smelled like strawberries, and a little like smoke. Husk propped his chin up on Angel’s chest, gazing at his boyfriend in adoration.

Angel was snoring quietly, his head hanging off the pillow with one arm over his eyes, the other three splayed out randomly. He was hardly covered by the blanket, having somehow squirmed away during the night to flop haphazardly at the edge of the mattress. His face was squished up by the angle it had fallen at, which was probably the cause of his snoring.

Angel was the kind of person one might expect to be a dainty sleeper, an assumption Husk had quickly tossed out the window the first time he spent the night with Angel. He thought it was hilarious.

And cute. Besides, Angel was still pretty, even if he looked… really silly. He was always pretty.

A lopsided, sleepy grin spread across Husk’s face at the thought, and a purr started to rumble in his chest.

That’s what finally woke Angel up, the purring. With Husk’s head on his fluff, Husk’s chest was lined up with his stomach, and Angel could feel the purring against his belly. It tickled a little, and he was mumbling and laughing softly even as he woke up. When he opened his eyes to see Husk cuddling with him, he reached up to lazily pet his head, murmuring, “Heya, baby… What’s got you so happy, hm? Have a nice dream?” Angel leaned forward a little to kiss his boyfriend’s forehead. “Was it about me?”

“Just watchin’ you,” Husk murmured, closing his eyes and leaning into the touch. “You’re pretty…”

Angel cooed, pressing a few more kisses to Husk’s head, smiling at how cute he looked with his fur all messed up after sleeping. “Aww… You’re pretty too, kitty…”

Husk curled up a little tighter, hiding his face in Angel’s fluff with a small trilling sound.

Angel frowned, confused and still only half awake. Husk wasn’t usually that shy at a little bit of attention… But nothing was wrong, he hadn’t stopped purring or tried to move away. Maybe the pet name was embarrassing? Or–

Husk whined quietly, his tail flicking, and the pieces clicked into place. Angel’s eyes widened in understanding, and his frown turned into a wide smile. “Aww, hi, baby! Are ya feeling small? Oh, why didn’t you tell me, sugar…” He gave Husk a few more kisses, now adding an exaggerated ‘mWAH’ sound with each one. “Do you need anything?”

The fuzziness in Husk’s mind just grew, giving him a floaty sort of feeling that made him hold Angel a little tighter to ground himself. He whined wordlessly again.

“Hey…” Angel’s fingers brushed through his hair, scratching lightly at the base of one of his ears the way Husk never let him do when he was bigger. “Can you use your words for me, baby?”

No, he couldn’t. His tongue was glued down, heavy behind his teeth, and Husk couldn’t find it in himself to pry his mouth open. He couldn’t make himself speak, feel his voice vibrate in his throat, hear how deep and rough and tired it was. Even the thought made him uncomfortable, reminding him of and pulling him dangerously close to his usual headspace.

Luckily, Angel was there to save him. He only waited a second or two before nodding in understanding. “That’s okay, babydoll,” he murmured. “You don’t gotta talk. That’s just fine. How ‘bout you just nod or shake your head for me, hm?”

Husk nodded.

He was so happy at how easily Angel seemed to understand. He just got it, every time. He remembered every little thing Husk told him he liked, every little thing he said upset him. He knew all of Husk’s tells, all the things that gave away when he was sad or scared or small or happy or sleepy, the smallest things that Angel took the time to watch for. Husk loved that Angel just knew, and did his best to get everything perfectly right to make sure Husk could slip into a safe space without any fear.

And that was just what he did then. He hummed sleepily as Angel sat up carefully, one hand still petting his hair while the others held Husk steady so he didn’t slip as Angel moved. Husk barely noticed that he had been maneuvered onto Angel’s lap, cradled against his chest like a toddler. Or maybe like the way someone might hold a teddy bear. That was a silly thought, Angel with a teddy bear. Especially a Husk-sized teddy bear. The idea made Husk want to laugh, but he was still feeling floaty and weird, so he settled for a dazed grin, gazing contently up at Angel.

Angel couldn’t help but coo again at how cute he was. “Aww… Are you happy this morning, kitty? You think it’s a good day?”

Husk nodded, closing his eyes and turning his face toward Angel’s chest again with a soft hum, an affirmative that sounded almost like a small meow.

Angel smiled, two of his lower hands starting to rub Husk’s back, occasionally brushing through his feathers lightly. “That’s good. I’m so happy to hear that,” he whispered. “I love seein’ ya like this, y’know. So content. I love it. You deserve to feel like this all the time. I love knowing you’re relaxed and you feel safe, and seein’ your little smile just makes my whole day. You’re just the sweetest little thing in the world, aren’t ya?”

Mrrrp.

Angel burst into giggles at the noise Husk made. “Aww, cutie, my silly little kitty… Cute, cute, cute…” He emphasized each ‘cute’ with another kiss.

Husk’s wings fluttered a little, and Angel beamed. Mission success. “Aww, is that what you want? You want me to talk about what a precious little sweetheart ya are? You wanna hear about how much I love ya?” He poked Husk lightly on the belly, getting a small squeak in response. “‘Cause it’s a lot. I love ya a lot. So much. So, so much…”

Not looking up, Husk made a small, shy sound, lifting one hand. His index and little fingers stayed up, along with his thumb, while the middle and ring stayed touched to his palm. I love you.

Angel gasped softly, mimicking the sign. “Aww, good job, baby! You remembered! You’re so smart… so, so smart and amazin’ and sweet…” He booped Husk on the nose, whispering, “The smartest little kitty, that’s you… I love you so much…”

Husk tilted his head back to lightly press his nose against Angel’s neck, nuzzling his head under Angel’s chin.

Angel slid the hand in Husk’s hair to the back of his head so that he could snuggle closer more comfortably, still scratching lightly around his ears. “You’re beautiful, y’know that, baby?” he murmured. “You’re beautiful, and smart, and kind, and perfect. I’m real proud of you, sweetheart.”

Husk had never really known how old he felt like he was, in moments like this. He didn’t understand how some people just knew, easily. Honestly, he barely felt like himself. His voice didn’t feel like his, his body didn’t feel like his, and he always needed to hold onto Angel or have Angel holding onto him to make sure he remembered that he was in the real world, still. If he’d ever felt that way in his normal headspace–which he did, sometimes–it would scare him, but like this, he didn’t mind it. Like this, he knew that he didn’t feel that way because he was afraid, or because he’d been drinking, or because his time in Hell and on Earth had both taken more of a toll on his mind than he ever let on. Like this, he didn’t have to feel helpless, because Angel was there. Angel was always there and he always held Husk and kept him safe from everything around them and from himself and from all the awful memories of when he hadn’t had someone like Angel to protect him. Like this, Husk was safe.

He didn’t realize that tears were pooling in his eyes until Angel was wiping them away, hushing him gently and touching his forehead to Husk’s. “Shh… Shh, baby, it’s okay… I got ya… Is somethin’ wrong?”

Husk slowly shook his head. He wasn’t sure what was going on. He didn’t feel sad, exactly, he didn’t feel anything bad, he just felt… a lot. Everything felt like a lot, even if it was good. Even if he was just thinking about how much he loved Angel, even if he was just feeling safe, feeling anything was just a lot, it was too much, and it was clouding his fuzzy mind with something darker, making him feel less like he was floating and more like he was sinking.

Husk closed his eyes, shaking his head a little harder like that would clear it.

“Breathe, honey,” Angel whispered. “It’s okay. It’s okay, I got ya… Feelin’ a little overwhelmed?”

Husk nodded shakily, and Angel clicked his tongue sympathetically, gently smoothing his hair back. “Oh, I’m sorry, baby… It’s okay. You can cry if ya need to, okay? I’m gonna be right here.”

Husk let Angel gently guide his head to rest under Angel’s chin again, doing his best to only think about the way he was lying against Angel’s chest, the way Angel’s arms were all wrapped around him, the way Angel–

Angel was singing. His voice was soft, a little deeper than Husk usually heard it, and a little wobbly with lingering sleepiness.

It sounded heavenly.

“I’m alright, I’m okay, I’m alright, I’m okay / I’m not a monster, I’m a human / And I’ve made a few mistakes / I’m alright, I’m okay, I’m alright, I’m okay / I’m not gruesome, just human / And I’ve made a few…”

Without realizing it, Husk was already starting to breathe deeper, and tears were drying on his face. Angel had resumed petting his head at some point, though he couldn’t remember when.

“It’s alright, it’s okay, it’s alright, it’s okay / You’re not a demon, there’s a reason / You behaved in that way / It’s alright, it’s okay, it’s alright, it’s okay / I believe, yes, I believe, that you will see a better day / It’s alright…”

Even if the feeling of contentment and safety had been what had him overwhelmed in the first place, the reminder that Angel was there and he wouldn’t let anything hurt him, even his own thoughts, lulled Husk back into that fuzzy, helpless place in his mind. The darkness was still there, and he was still sinking.

But once he sank far enough, he broke right through it, and he was back in a safe place, the darkness fading above him. Before he knew what was happening, he was purring again, and he heard Angel chuckle above him.

“You feel better, hon? Just needed a little cry… That’s okay, you can always come and cry all over me, I love helpin’ with that.”

Husk vaguely registered that Angel was trying to be funny, and while his smaller mind didn’t find it very amusing, he was happy Angel was trying to cheer him up. He clumsily grabbed one of Angel’s hands, taking a couple tries to grab it successfully. He gave him a small kiss to the back of his hand, then looked up to see if that had been okay.

Angel was beaming at him, and he leaned down to kiss Husk’s forehead. “Aww. Thank you, baby. That’s real sweet… And you were real brave a minute ago, y’know. I bet whatever was bothering you was scary. My brave little kitty… I’m so proud of you…” He went back to what he’d done at first, planting kisses all over Husk’s ears and the top of his head. “So, so proud…”

The attention was a little disorienting, but not overwhelming. Husk closed his eyes and just let Angel give him all the kisses he wanted, relaxing into his arms. A small whine built up in the back of his throat, and he tried to nuzzle up into Angel’s chin again, clumsily trying to meet him halfway as he leaned down for another kiss.

He ended up just… very gently head-butting Angel in the mouth, then opening his eyes in confusion when Angel squeaked and flinched back. He put a hand to his mouth, giggling when he saw Husk’s expression. “You gotta be careful, baby, you’re stronger than you realize.”

Husk just blinked at him slowly, not sure what he’d done.

Angel laughed harder, carefully leaning forward again to give him a kiss on the tip of his nose. “Aww… You’re silly. Silly baby. It’s okay.”

Husk laughed softly, hiding his face in Angel’s chest again.

“Silly, cute little baby kitty,” Angel murmured, starting to gently rock back and forth. “My little kitty. I love you so much. I love taking care of you, I love helping you feel smaller, I love knowing you feel safe, I love you…”

Husk made an embarrassed little chirping sound, hugging Angel tighter and pressing his face into his fluff. He shook his head.

“Aww, ya shy, baby? Oh… It’s okay, sugar… It’s okay…” Angel kissed the top of his head. “It’s okay. Cutie. I’ve got ya.”

Husk tried to lift his head to look at him, but ended up lolling back down to his chest sleepily with a quiet meow.

“You tired?” Angel whispered. “Aww… It’s okay… It’s not real late. You can go back to sleep, baby. I’ll hold ya. You’re okay.”

Husk nodded a little. He hesitated for a moment, wanting to ask for something but not sure how. He tried to push himself away a little bit to look up at Angel, whining quietly.

“What is it, honey?” Angel murmured, brushing his fingers through Husk’s hair soothingly. “What do you need?”

Husk cautiously raised a hand, hesitating as he struggled to remember the signs he needed. “S-I-N…”

Angel tilted his head. “Si… Sinnnnng? Sing?”

Husk’s eyes lit up a little, and he nodded.

Angel giggled. He showed Husk the sign for G. “Good job, baby. I’m so proud of you remembering all that. I know it’s hard when you’re smaller, but I’m so proud of you for tryin’ so hard… You’re so smart… Of course I’ll sing for ya, baby. Anytime ya want.”

He carefully guided Husk to lie down again, with his head in Angel’s lap. Stroking his hair, he murmured, “What do you want me to sing, baby? You want a lullaby?”

Husk nodded, taking one of Angel’s free hands and hugging it to his chest like a stuffed animal. He nuzzled into his wrist, still purring quietly.

Angel used another hand to scratch behind Husk’s ear, beginning to sing softly. “You are my sunshine… My only sunshine… You make me happy, when skies are gray… You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you… Please don’t take my sunshine away…”

Husk’s eyes drifted shut again, feeling yet another one of Angel’s hands rubbing his back, gently helping him relax. Husk wrapped one of his wings around himself like a blanket.

“The other night, dear… As I lay sleeping… I dreamed I held you in my arms… When I awoke, dear… I was mistaken… So I hung my head and cried…”

Husk was back in that quiet, floaty place again, and now Angel’s voice was floating with him, swirling around him like fog.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…”

No, not fog, that was too heavy. It was more like mist, soft and gentle.

“You make me happy, when skies are gray…”

Husk was slipping deeper into his headspace as he slipped deeper into sleep. Now, he couldn’t have moved or spoken if he tried, helplessly drifting off in Angel’s arms.

“You’ll never know, dear… How much I love you…”

Just before he fell asleep, Husk smiled.

“Please don’t take my sunshine away…”

He was safe.