Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The house is too empty and too quiet.

It's ridiculous. The Rangers never leave except to fight. Even Antonio is living here now, sleeping on a futon in Jayden's room though there's a perfectly good guest room. And Jayden wasn't exactly the loudest of them anyway. His absence shouldn't make such a difference.

Maybe it's the Rangers themselves. They're like ghosts, drifting from room to room. Training goes on, but even Kevin has little enthusiasm. Emily does not play her flute. Mia does not cook. Mike hasn't touched a video game or pulled a prank since this started. Antonio is much as he always was, but it's a mask, and a brittle one.

He doesn't know how to help them. He's been in touch with Lauren's mentor, but he fears calling her. She isn't yet ready, and worse, bringing her here would tell the Rangers that he has given up on Jayden, on his return.

He knows he should. Whatever may happen tomorrow, today Jayden is firmly in the grip of the Nighlok. His oaths demand he do whatever it takes to protect the world.

"Mentor?"

He doesn't turn. Antonio comes to join him, standing by the bench.

"Penny for them," he says finally.

"I'm afraid I'd be cheating you."

"I'll risk it, if you want."

Ji shakes his head. "I doubt it's anything you haven't thought of."

Antonio's gaze drops to the Lion Zord in Ji's hand. It's been dormant since Jayden's disappearance, but Mentor never lets it go. "He's coming back."

"I truly hope so."

"I know it."

He watches the gate for a moment. "Am I a coward, Antonio?"

"Excuse me?"

"Jayden comes to the city almost every day. I don't face him. I don't try to bring him home. You and the others do, but I cannot do it. I cannot face him as he is now."

"He did try to kill you last time," Antonio points out. Ji nods. Jayden's fury had been truly terrifying; none of them had walked away unscathed, but his true target had been Ji. He's still recovering, slower to move than he once was, stiff and sore.

That was early in this whole terrible ordeal, when Jayden was still only nominally under Master Xandred's control, before Xandred hit on whatever combination he's using now to make him obey.

"He tried to kill you, too," Ji reminds him.

Antonio rubs his knee unconsciously. "Ranger healing. It wasn't as bad for me."

"I am a better teacher than I thought," Ji agrees dryly. "Antonio..."

"Don't tell me anything Jayden will regret when he comes back, Mentor."

Ji laughs softly. "You know his secret."

"I know he has a secret," Antonio corrects him. "It isn't hard to tell, all that lurking around whispering and looking significantly at each other you two have been doing. Let him have his secret. It doesn't matter."

"You're a good friend, Antonio. Don't give up on him."

"Never." It has the weight of an oath and Ji nods solemnly, accepting it.

"Now." Antonio lightens his tone. "Come inside. You haven't eaten today, and I cooked."

"Thank you, Antonio, but I'm not hungry."

"I don't care. Everyone eats. You're our mentor, and we need you to be able to ment."

He laughs softly. "I have to be able to ment?"

"Don't make me get Emily out here."

"All right," he surrenders, rising to his feet. Antonio watches through narrowed eyes but makes no move to help him, and he appreciates the sop to his independence. "Antonio, I'm very pleased you're here. I know I was – unwelcoming – at first, but you have proved yourself in very difficult circumstances, and I am proud to call you a Ranger."

"I'm proud to be one," Antonio tells him. "Now come on. I told Emily to come after me if I was more than ten minutes out here."

Ji smiles and allows himself to be drawn back inside to join the team.

Chapter Text

Kevin's angry again. Or, more likely, still. He manages to hide it around the girls, mostly, but uselessly chasing whatever's left of Jayden around the city always makes him furious. And though he isn't doing anything threatening, seeing him near kids is straining Kevin's self-control to breaking point.

"He's just laughing at us now," he declares, breaking all the rules by striding up to Jayden. Mike and Antonio exchange glances before following, hanging back a step or two. "What do you think you're doing?"

Jayden turns his head – and only his head – to look at Kevin. "Standing. Looking, breathing – which one is bothering you today?"

He's baiting Kevin, and all three know it. "If you're planning on hurting those kids..."

"Hurting them?" He looks honestly baffled. Mike glances at Antonio, who takes a step forward.

"Kevin, he wasn't going to. Take a step back, ok?" Kevin obeys and Antonio steps forward again. "I know you weren't thinking that," he says, directly to Jayden. "But you're really freaking Kevin and Mike out, and I can't stop both of them. Can you – please – go somewhere else?"

Kevin's vibrating by Mike's side. He doesn't approve of the way Antonio keeps trying to save Jayden, but he won't disagree with him in front of Jayden; they can't afford to give him that kind of weapon to use against them. It isn't that he doesn't want Jayden back, Mike knows; but he's trying to live up to what he thinks Jayden would want. Protect the innocent, no matter what. No matter what the danger is.

Maybe it is what Jayden would want. Mike's mostly just been following along. No one expects him to think too deeply about anything.

"Tell you what," Jayden drawls, and Kevin tenses up all over again. "Stop following me around, and I'll stay away from children."

"No way!" Kevin protests. Mike stomps on his toe.

"All right," Antonio agrees.

"Antonio..."

"It's not like Jayden hides –"

"Jarrell," Jayden interrupts him, and Mike flinches.

Jarrell. It should make it easier; it should mean they can all pretend this isn't really Jayden, just someone who looks like him. He doesn't even act like himself most of the time, and he refuses to answer to Jayden or let them use it, even to the point of attacking them over it. He nearly killed Mentor for it.

"What?" Antonio says blankly. He keeps forgetting, or ignoring, or refusing to hear it.

"Jarrell." There's an edge in his voice. "You know that."

He looks away. "It's not like he hides his attacks. Why do you come up here, Jay – Jarrell?"

"Because you made sure I can't stay on the ship," he snaps, turning on his heel and striding away.

"Wait!" Antonio pleads, but he's gone.

A moment later Kevin goes too, heading back towards the Shiba house, quickening into a run as he goes. Mike stays where he is, waiting patiently.

He's still not sure how most of this works. Jayden's forced back here every day because humans can't survive the Netherworld; he thinks it's the Rangers' fault, that much is clear, but Mike doesn't understand why. Everything in that place is poisonous to Jayden. Has he just not noticed the burns where the river water's splashed him?

Antonio turns, finally, not surprised to see Mike waiting. "Let's go."

"Think that was smart, making that deal?"

"He'll keep it."

"Not what I was asking."

Antonio grimaces, scrubbing a hand over his face. "Mike..."

"I'm not –" Mike sighs. "I'm Switzerland, here, Antonio, I don't have a side, ok? He's obvious when he attacks and he never does anything even a little bit wrong otherwise. I see that. But if Master Xandred figures out what we've just agreed to..."

"We'll deal with it then."

Mike nods. "You ok, man?"

"Me? Sure. Come on, let's get back to the House."

Kevin's angry about this new deal. He spends a lot of time staring at the map, tracking Jayden's movements around the city. True to his word, Jayden avoids preschools, playgrounds, anywhere there might be kids. In fact, he stops coming to the city as much, which means Kevin can't track him at all. That just makes him angrier.

Some days after their confrontation, Mentor comes outside while Mike is desultorily practising. "Mike?"

"What's up, Mentor?"

"Jayden is at the Tengen Gate."

"Fighting?"

"No. The monks say he's only looking at it, and he has no moogers with him, but they know what's happened and they're uneasy."

"Where's Antonio?"

Mentor glances at the house. "In Jayden's room."

"Not healthy, the amount of time he spends in there." He slots his shinai back into the rack. "I'll go. He's not making any trouble?"

"Hasn't spoken or approached anyone," Mentor assures him. "Keep your morpher on you."

"No problem. See you later."

The conversation with Jarrell unsettles him, badly. The mannerisms and tone are all pure Jayden; it's only the words that give him away. Worse, he can tell he means every bit of it. The thought of Jayden calling anyone Master, let alone Xandred...

Emily finds him in the living room late that night, staring sightlessly at his zord roaming the tabletop. "Mike?"

"Hey, Em," he says. "Not sleeping?"

"I was." She settles beside him. "What's wrong?"

"Wrong?" he repeats.

"Yeah, wrong." She turns, tucking up her feet and leaning against him. "Where did you go today?"

He considers for a moment before answering honestly. "The Tengen Gate."

"Why?"

"The monks called Ji. Jayden – Jarrell, I guess – turned up there."

She frowns. "But not attacking, obviously."

"No, I think he just wanted to look. I got his promise he wouldn't attack first, Daisuke promised to keep his guys off, everyone was happy. Well, ish."

"Mike?" Emily says it very softly. "Do you think Jayden's coming back?"

"Yeah." He doesn't think about it. "You ever known a Nighlok who cares about history? Or honour, or keeping promises? Jayden doesn't put people in danger, even when he's attacking, and that's all him, not Master X. Even Deker doesn't care the way he does. We have to find a way to get to that part of him, but once we do, he's coming home. Promise, Em."

Chapter Text

Mentor throws Antonio out of the house.

"Go and fish," he orders. "Or walk around aimlessly, or eat some fast food, or something. Sitting in his room is not healthy, Antonio."

"Mentor..." Antonio protests.

"Today you go out. Tomorrow Emily will play her flute. One step at a time."

"So am I the easiest or the hardest?"

"Out," he orders, turning to stalk back in.

Antonio watches until he gets back inside – Mentor is far better than he was, that first awful night, but still not fully healed and might never be – before turning away. Leaving is harder than it should be. He doesn't know why, and that bothers him.

He tries to fish, but he can't concentrate on it; twice someone else has to tell him he has a fish on the line, and the third time he can't face pulling it in and just lets the rod go. He eats – something; it tastes like cardboard, and he forgets what it was as soon as he's finished. Eventually he wanders out into the forest, half-hoping to come across Jayden. They haven't seen him in days except to fight.

Deker steps around a tree into his path. It takes Antonio a moment to focus on him, and even then he just sighs and goes around him.

"Jayden's not here, Deker."

"I know where he is."

Antonio doesn't stop. "We know where he is, too."

"And haven't gone after him?" Deker speeds up, following a precise two steps behind him.

"You lost your memory becoming a Nighlok. What good's it going to do anyone if we pledge to Master Xandred so we can get in there and then forget to rescue him once we make it?"

"Are you all so defeatist?"

Antonio sighs. "Why are you so happy about this? As long as he's following Master Xandred you can't get your duel."

Deker stops. Antonio doesn't, and he's some way down the path before Deker calls, "You can get him back."

Antonio slows, thinking it over. Deker has no particular reason to want to help them. It's stupid to trust him.

But he wants to duel Jayden. It's all he wants, as far as they can tell, literally the only desire he has. And he can't do it while Jayden's under Master Xandred's control; Xandred will never permit it.

He gives in, turning. "How?"

Deker wanders towards him, smirking. Antonio suppresses the desire to punch him in the face. "You've been talking to him, haven't you? Telling him who you are, who he is, asking him to come back?"

"Yes, of course."

"Of course," Deker echoes.

"Look, what's your point here?"

Another smirk. "Master Xandred knew what you would try. You can't appeal to the Red Ranger that way; there are traps in his mind, and you trip them every time you speak to him."

"Traps in his mind?" Antonio repeats.

"You haven't noticed?" Deker smirks again. "Tell me. What happens when you say his name?"

"He..." Antonio blinks. "He gets angry."

"And if you speak about Master Xandred?"

"He gets angry..."

"And when he saw your mentor?"

"The point, Deker!"

"The anger keeps him from thinking about things Master Xandred doesn't want him to think about. You're trying to remind him who he is but he can't do it. He'll attack you first every time. He can't help himself."

"He doesn't want to fight..."

Deker snorts. "He never does. But he is a warrior, born and raised, and Master Xandred can pour enough fury into him to overwhelm any semblance of reason. He attacked your mentor, didn't he? Is that something he'd ever do normally?"

"No," Antonio breathes. "So what do we do?"

"Find something that isn't locked behind anger. And make him listen. You've been playing with him, trying not to hurt him. That's no good. Your blue ranger has the right of it. You have to make him listen to you."

"You want us to hurt him? What'll that do to your duel?" Deker doesn't answer and Antonio says, more quietly, "You've seen him?"

"So have you."

"Only when he's leading attacks, lately."

Deker considers. "Master Xandred isn't giving him enough time up here. My half Nighlok state protects me in the Netherworld. The Red Ranger has no such protection. The longer he stays down there, the weaker he becomes."

Antonio grimaces, turning away. "We have to get through to him."

"Quickly," Deker agrees.

Antonio turns and heads back to town. The Rangers won't be easy to convince, but he can't do this on his own. He has a lot of work to do.

Chapter Text

Emily clings to Mike's words. The boys decided early that wherever possible, she and Mia weren't to face Jayden; he doesn't remember them, but he picked up the team dynamics very quickly, and he uses what he sees against them, taunting, picking, making fun and generally doing anything he can to throw them off. They ignore as much as possible, but it's hard to ignore everything; he never morphs any more, and it's hard to pretend it isn't really him mocking her for being a second choice, second rate samurai.

She agrees to Antonio's plan, though she doesn't think it's necessarily the wisest thing to do. They work it out, refine it so that they all know their parts. It goes off without a hitch, which surprises her.

She's behind Jayden, and he doesn't look at her, or Mia or Mike, just stares straight ahead. He'd probably ignore Kevin and Antonio if they weren't directly in front of him. Emily listens as Antonio tries to get through to him, tries to break through. It isn't working, and the box they've made out of symbol power is failing. Jayden always was stronger than the rest of them; even with no memory, no real knowledge of how to use it, his power overwhelms theirs, and none of them have anything left.

Mike and Antonio are fighting – they've never really agreed on this, Mike's distrust of Deker too strong – and Jayden's just watching as the team falls apart. Emily moves without thinking, touching the wall that separates them. "Jayden?"

He turns, meets her eyes, and she stifles the impulse to step back, look away, anything to get his attention off her. It's someone else looking at her through Jayden's eyes, and it makes her ill to see so much hate and anger in his face. Especially when that face itself is so stretched, so thin; he looks awful, all pale skin and dark circles under his eyes.

Mike and Antonio are silent. She turns a little, enough that they can see her open her morpher and draw the symbol to cancel the box; no one stops her. Jayden backs past Mia into open space, where they can't surround him; he looks confused, and she says quietly, "It's not the way to get you to trust us."

"I will never trust you." It's fierce and angry and honest and she can feel herself pale, though she doesn't back down.

"We are not your enemies. Jayden..."

He lunges for her, face twisted in fury. The others try to intervene, but he flings them off, knocking her down. Her head hits the pavement and for a moment she sees stars; when her vision clears he's crouched over her, blade in hand. She can dimly see Mia over his shoulder, but she isn't moving, afraid of provoking him.

They'll never reach her in time; he's too close.

"My name is Jarrell. Say it."

"No." She's never attached much importance to names, but this feels like giving up on him.

"Say it."

"No." Her refusal seems to confuse him; he shifts, blade a little further from her. "I will never believe that you will hurt me, Jayden."

He shudders, blade withdrawing further. "Don't..." His eyes close and he shifts further away; Emily slips free, surprised when he doesn't seem to notice. Kevin moves towards her but she waves him down, watching as Jayden opens his eyes, standing. Antonio stands at the same time, wary and watchful, standing protectively over Mike.

Mike's not moving.

"Don't say that name," Jayden tells her.

"Don't go back there, please. You don't have to st – not with us, but you can stay here. In the city. Please, don't go to him. He's poisoning you."

"Stop," Jayden whispers, fists clenched. He's fighting something.

"Yeah, Em, stop," Antonio says, quiet and regretful. He knows something, or has guessed something; he's always seen Jayden differently than they have. Looking at Jayden, he adds, "Do you want to fight some more, or are you done for right now?"

A nearby gap glows. Emily sees Jayden's instinctive look at it and grimaces.

"See you around, I guess," Antonio says, turning to Mike. "Kev, give me a hand."

"Antonio..."

"Give me a hand," Antonio repeats, voice very even. "Over here, and not in his way."

Kevin scowls, but he goes, stepping out of Jayden's path. Emily watches as their former leader retreats to the gap; he looks back, catching her eye, before slipping through.

They make it all the way back to the House before Kevin starts on Antonio. They've been picking at each other for days; in Jayden's absence, Kevin should be leading them, but Antonio's never really followed the team anyway and makes little pretence at following Kevin now. In her darker moments Emily wonders; if Jayden had gone over to Master Xandred of his own free will, would Antonio have followed? In the light of day she can dismiss those thoughts as ridiculous, but in the dark it's harder. Antonio's so devoted to Jayden.

Emily steps around the arguing pair, ignoring them. Arguing has become the default background noise here, the way the clatter of shinai once was.

Mentor's in the kitchen. Emily smiles quietly at him, automatically moving to help. He's shucking peas and the familiar movements calm her.

The voices in the living room get louder and she grimaces. Mia's trying to calm them, and she wonders vaguely where Mike is. Gone to rest, she hopes.

"What happened?" Mentor asks quietly.

She summarizes it briefly for him, keeping her attention on the bowl. Her rhythm falters when he reaches out to lay a hand on her arm. "Are you all right, Emily?"

"He didn't hurt me..."

"Are you all right," he repeats.

Kevin yells something she can't make out, and a door slams. Antonio leaving, she hopes; he calms down better outside, Kevin calms down better inside.

She shucks another pod, hands working on automatic. "Jayden looks terrible," she says finally, voice low. Mentor folds his hands slowly into his lap. "He's dying in stages. And us –" Another door slams, probably Kevin's. "We're falling apart without him, Mentor."

"If it was possible," he begins, very slowly, "to have another Red Ranger..."

Emily's hand jerks and she almost knocks the bowl off the table. "Replace Jayden?"

"Not replace him. Never replace him. But another – to help fight –"

"We don't need another Ranger, Mentor. We need Jayden. How could you, anyway? He still has his morpher, he's just not using it."

Mia wanders in, looking vaguely lost. "How's Mike?" Emily asks quickly.

"I think he was just stunned. He's gone to lie down."

"I will check on him." Mentor struggles to his feet; normally it's easier for him, but sitting for any length makes him stiff. And, Emily thinks guiltily, losing Jayden has made him older. "What about Kevin and Antonio?"

"Kevin's in his room. I think Antonio's in the garden; he went out that way, anyway."

Mentor nods, heading for the bedrooms. Emily goes back to shucking, concentrating on each pea, refusing to think about anything else.

Chapter Text

Kevin can sort of understand where Antonio is coming from. It's not like he actually wants to be fighting Jayden. But their responsibilities are clear. They have to protect the whole world, even against one of their own.

He thinks Antonio knows that, too. But he's always been loyal to Jayden first and the team second, if a close second. Privately, Kevin counts them lucky Antonio's still fighting at all.

Jayden's only been showing up to fight, lately, so Kevin doesn't think anything of it when they're called into the city again. Antonio's missing, but Mentor's calling him as they go.

Just before they reach the disturbance Kevin's phone goes off. He skids to a halt, waving the others to wait and answering. "Mentor?"

"Antonio." He sounds awful, but he goes on before Kevin can say anything, "Listen, Jayden's on his way into the city..."

"He's here already. Where are you?"

"I'm on my way. Kevin, he has orders to kill one of us."

A chill runs through Kevin. So far, Master Xandred has seemed content to cause them pain; without Jayden, they can't defeat him permanently, and he's revelled in making sure they know it. But if Jayden's truly out to kill them...

He quietly passes the message on to the others, sees them blanch as they absorb it. It's Emily who nods first, drawing herself up. "Let's go, then."

Jayden isn't taking part in the destruction. That's not always unusual. But he doesn't take part in the fighting, either, and that is strange. He just watches them tear through the moogers.

Antonio arrives as Mike puts down the last mooger. He's pale and shaky, and when Kevin hurries to his side he sees blood dried into his hair. "What happened?" Antonio shakes his head, looking past him, and Kevin turns to see Jayden watching them. "You do this?" Jayden nods slowly and he looks back at Antonio, voice soft and pleading. "We have to stop this."

"Yes." Antonio steps past him, moving towards Jayden. "Let's go, then."

Kevin watches and listens as the Rangers power down and join Antonio. He aches to join them, but someone has to keep watch, has to be aware. Master Xandred knows what Jayden means to them, and this wouldn't even be the first time he's tried to sneak a Nighlok past them while they're occupied with him. Luckily, Nighlok have no sense of subtlety.

Mia steps within range of Jayden's blade and Kevin twitches, desperate to pull her out of there. "You are Jayden Shiba," she tells him, ignoring the flinch that always comes from that name. "Eighteenth leader of the Power Rangers Samurai. You are my leader, and my friend. I am not afraid of you, and I will not defend myself against you."

"Fight back," Jayden says, almost begging.

Kevin understands suddenly. Jayden's training still holds; he's all but incapable of fighting someone who isn't threatening him. He should have realised it standing by that playground weeks ago. As long as they stay unmorphed and don't attack, he can't fight them. This could force his break from Xandred, as long as he can hold on to his control.

Kevin demorphs and joins them, standing as unthreateningly as he knows how. Unlike Mike and Mia, though, he holds on to his morpher. Xandred's hold on Jayden runs deep and he doesn't want to risk disarming. The anger makes him too unpredictable to fully trust.

Octoroo and moogers appear, swarming the group. Xandred is yelling from the gap; Kevin mostly ignores him, ducking two moogers to grab Mike and Mia's morphers. The Rangers have formed up around Jayden and Antonio, protecting them both.

Jayden and Octoroo are arguing, tossing insults back and forth. Kevin listens with half an ear, grinning victoriously when Jayden picks up his blade and joins the fight on the Rangers' side, tearing through moogers. Xandred is still yelling and Jayden falters occasionally, but he recovers and keeps fighting each time.

Octoroo retreats as they overwhelm the last moogers, and the gap fades back to normal. Jayden goes to his knees, looking completely wiped out; his blade vanishes as he stops concentrating on it. Antonio drops to sit beside him, deliberately casual.

"Jayden..."

He tenses and Antonio shakes his head quickly. "Sorry," Kevin mutters. That's going to be a problem. "Jarrell, then. Do you remember us?"

"No."

No, of course not. That would be too easy.

Bringing him back to the Shiba House seems like a bad plan. He doesn't doubt Jayden's intentions, but they don't know how deeply Xandred's control runs, and he's already tried to kill Mentor once. Emily's right, though, they can't ignore his injuries, especially since Kevin's reasonably sure Jayden was injured while fighting on their side.

When Xandred appears again Jayden seems to just give up. Antonio hustles him away while the Rangers block Xandred's view; it's about all they can do. Deprived of a target, Xandred sends more moogers to keep them busy and fades away again.

Moogers dealt with, they find Antonio and Jayden a few streets over. Jayden's sprawled in the street; Antonio's sitting beside him, one hand on his back, murmuring helplessly.

"Antonio?" Kevin crouches beside him; Emily kneels on Jayden's other side, looking him over carefully.

Antonio looks up, bleary eyed. "I can't get him up on my own," he says finally.

"He's bleeding bad," Mike murmurs. "We've got to get him back to the house."

Kevin looks at Antonio, who stares back at him blankly. Apparently this one's going to be all on him. "Right, then," he says, making the decision on the spur of the moment. "Mike, let's go. Careful. Emily, keep an eye on him for us. Mia, can you help Antonio?"

Chapter Text

Mentor tends Jayden's wound and sends Antonio to get some rest. Antonio refuses to go, lurking in the door of the recovery room until Mia bullies him back to Jayden's room, promising to sit with Jayden until one or the other of them wakes up.

"Be careful," Antonio warns her. "Make sure you come get me when he wakes up."

"Antonio, I heard you the first four times. Now get some rest, or I won't be able to wake you up."

He goes, reluctantly, and Mia settles in. Emily brings her tea, Mike promises they're listening, Kevin offers to sit with him instead, and then they leave her alone.

Jayden sleeps for hours. The house has quietened – although she knows Mike's still in the living room, listening in case she needs help – when he opens his eyes, staring straight upwards.

"Hey," Mia murmurs, careful not to startle him. He turns his head to look at her, expressionless. "Do you remember me?"

"Pink," he says after a moment. "Where are we?"

"Mia."

"Mia," he repeats thoughtfully.

"We're in the Sh – the house. How do you feel?" He frowns and she adds "Your side?"

"Oh." He shifts, reaching for his side. "It's fine."

"Jay –"

"Don't," he says over her. "It's safer not to."

"Jarrell," she concedes. "How does it feel really?"

"It aches a little," he allows. "Where are the others?"

"It's late. They're sleeping."

"All of them? Left you alone with me?"

"Is there some reason they shouldn't?" She shrugs. "Well, they're in their rooms, anyway. Antonio's definitely sleeping, or else he'd be here."

"Antonio," Jayden murmurs.

"We had to pretty much throw him out to get some rest. Can you sit up?"

"Why?"

"I thought you might be thirsty." She offers him a glass.

Jayden takes it, studying it. Mia turns away, busying herself with pointless work on the other side of the room, tidying and resorting the medical supplies. There's painkillers and she thinks about offering them, but she's fairly sure he won't take them from her.

She wouldn't take them from him, if their circumstances were reversed.

Jayden murmurs something she doesn't catch and she looks up. "I'm sorry?"

"You didn't hurt me," he repeats, more loudly.

Mia comes back towards him. "I don't understand."

"Before. M – Master Xandred said that you did this to me. Took my memories and left me for dead."

"No," Mia says softly. "We didn't do that."

"I was trying to remind myself." He smiles faintly.

"I'm sorry. This has to be really hard on you. Can – how can I help you?"

He shrugs, drinking the water. "I lived here?"

"Here in the house. This is the recovery room, we just use it when one of us is hurt."

"One of us," he murmurs, adding "Can I look around?" before she can comment.

"Can you stand?"

He considers for a moment. "Maybe?"

She smiles, taking the glass back. "Get some rest. Mentor will be in to check on you in the morning, we'll see about showing you around then." Catching his look, she adds, "Unless it's a bad idea to let Mentor in here."

"I don't know," he says helplessly. "I don't – want – "

"All right," she says quickly when he falters to a stop. "Well, we'll keep an eye, ok? Listen, Antonio wanted to know when you woke up, but if you think you're going back to sleep I can forget to go get him." Jayden stares blankly at her and she nods. "Definitely forget to go get him. Lie down."

He obeys, and he's sleeping, or pretending to, when Mentor comes in just after dawn. "Morning, Mia," he murmurs. "How has he been?"

"He woke up for a while, said it ached a little."

"He woke up?" Mentor repeats.

"For a little while. He doesn't remember anything, but he says he knows we didn't hurt him."

"Good," Mentor says. "That's a start, at least."

"Don't," Mia says when he steps towards Jayden. "Let me wake him first."

Mentor hesitates, looking at her. "His conditioning holds?"

"He wasn't sure. Better safe than sorry. Is Mike outside?"

"Kevin is."

"Ask him in?"

Mentor obeys and the two lurk by the door while Mia crouches by the bed. "Jarrell?" He shifts and she says quietly, "Jarrell, are you awake? Mentor's here."

"I'm awake," he mutters, pushing up on one elbow. "Where..."

He sees Mentor and falls silent, slowly rising to sit upright. Mia pushes to her feet, taking a step away from the bed.

Jayden shudders, snapping his gaze down to his hands. "You didn't set them on me. You didn't tell them to leave me for dead."

"No," Mentor agrees quietly, and maybe Jayden can't see the pain on his face, but Mia can. "I didn't. May I look at your injury?"

"I hurt you."

"That's in the past."

He keeps his gaze on his hands during the examination, which Mentor keeps as brief as possible. "It's healing nicely," he tells them. "You should rest for at least today. Tomorrow, perhaps, you can get up."

"He wants to see the house," Mia says quickly.

"I understand. But if you overexert yourself, you could easily hurt yourself again. Can you wait a day?"

"Do I have a choice?"

The bitterness startles Mia. It's not like Jayden at all. More than anything else he's said, it reminds her that he doesn't know them, or himself.

"Of course you have a choice," Mentor says patiently. "My advice is only advice. The decision is yours, as always."

"Let me get you something to eat, at least," Mia offers.

Jayden hesitates before saying, very slowly, "Are you cooking?"

Kevin smiles, though Mia isn't sure why. "She's been in here with you all night. Antonio's cooking."

"Antonio," he murmurs. "Thank you, Mia."

She nods, waving Mentor and Kevin out ahead of her and heading for the kitchen. Antonio's putting the finishing touches on breakfast – unusually for him, a fry with no sign of fish anywhere.

"Is he awake?" he asks as soon as he sees Mia.

"He's awake," she agrees. "Wait!" she adds as he turns. "He's not Jayden, Antonio."

"What?"

"He doesn't remember."

Antonio slumps onto a seat. "He chose us."

"Yes, but he doesn't remember us. Not yet. He keeps having to remind himself that we didn't hurt him." Antonio buries his head in his arms and she adds, "He let Mentor check his injury, at least."

"Good," Antonio says, voice muffled.

"Do you want to take his breakfast in?"

He sits up, considering her. "Mentor asked me if he was a coward," he says after a minute. "For not facing Jayden. I know exactly how he felt."

"You're not a coward, and neither is he. This is hard on everyone. Think about Jayden; everything he believes has just been swept away and he doesn't have anything to fill the gap yet."

"Yeah," Antonio mumbles, pushing to his feet. "Yeah," he says more loudly when she touches his arm. "I'll go. Thanks, Mia."

"Any time. Do you want me to come?"

"Might be best. Thanks."

Jayden's standing by the outer door, which is open a crack, when she opens the door. Antonio mutters something unflattering in Spanish, raising his voice to add "What are you doing up?"

"I wanted to look out." Jayden's voice is strained and he hasn't moved.

"And now you can't let go of the wall without falling over. Terco. Let me help you."

"What?"

"He said you're stubborn," Mia supplies.

"Not the first time he's said that," Jayden mutters, and freezes.

"Not the first time," Antonio agrees, carefully not drawing attention to what has to be a memory. "Probably not the last time, either. Are you going to let me help you, or do you want to stay there until you fall over?"

Jayden's not listening. Mia deliberately sets the cups down too loudly, clattering them together, and he nods jerkily. "Help me. Please."

Antonio's careful; he lets Jayden lean on him rather than putting an arm around him. He's clearly exhausted by the time he gets back to the bed, a distance of all of six steps.

"I thought Rangers healed faster," he mutters, settling carefully.

"It still takes time," Antonio says placidly. "It's still less than a day since you nearly bled to death, remember?"

"Not to mention whatever Master Xandred was doing to you," Mia adds, putting his plate and cup within his reach.

"Master Xandred." Jayden's gaze goes somewhere far away. "He was so angry. He'll never forgive me."

Antonio taps the bed to catch his attention. "He's always angry about something. We'll deal; that's what we do. Besides, pissing him off is a family tradition for you."

"Is it?"

"How much do you actually know about the Rangers, Jayden?"

"Don't say that," he hisses.

"It's your name."

"Jarrell."

"Jarrell is some stupid name Xandred gave you so you wouldn't remember who you are!"

"It's the only thing I have!"

Mentor's at the door, but he doesn't interfere, so Mia doesn't either.

Antonio's staring at Jayden, and she can't read the expression on his face. "What?" he says finally.

"I have one memory that goes back more than three months, and it's Deker trying to kill me in a cave. Everything else I remember is a lie, according to you. I don't know anything about you. I don't know anything about anything, and the only thing I have is my name, and you're not taking it from me."

"I'm sor –"

"Everyone's sorry," Jayden says over him. "It doesn't mean anything. I don't know you."

Antonio pushes to his feet, backing away. "I am sorry. I won't – I wasn't thinking."

"Antonio," Mia tries, but he pushes past her and a moment later she hears the front door click closed.

Jayden's watching her when she turns. "He cares a lot about Jayden," he offers, hesitating for a second over the name.

"We all do. But Antonio's given his whole life to you."

"To – the other me."

"Still you."

Antonio's back in the doorway and she blinks. What happened there? She was sure he'd gone outside.

He tosses something onto the bed; Jayden catches it instinctively, staring at it. "What is..."

"Antonio!" Mentor protests.

"That's your Lion Zord." Antonio watches as it unfolds, scampering around on the bed. "You might not remember him, but he remembers you. And he's loyal to you, no matter what you ask him to do. He'll protect you."

"Against you?" Jayden says tonelessly.

"If you want him to. If you think you need it." And the Zord is watching them, wary and still on Jayden's lap.

Jayden looks away, and Antonio relaxes. "I know you don't know us. But do you believe we don't want to hurt you?"

Jayden's voice is very far away when he answers. "I believe you haven't hurt me yet."

Chapter Text

Jayden's body heals. His mind remains fractured.

After his outburst they all call him Jarrell without fail. The Lion Zord is always with him, active whenever he's awake, but it never seems particularly wary. They take that as a tentative good sign.

Four days after waking up Jayden comes outside to watch them train. He doesn't join in, but he watches, eyes narrowed. Mentor stands beside him and isn't surprised when Jayden says softly, "She's dropping her shoulder too low."

"Who?"

"Mia."

They've been trying to train Mia out of that for most of a year. Usually she remembers, but they're all a little distracted right now.

"Mia!" Mentor calls across. "Watch your shoulder."

The gap sensor goes off and everyone freezes. Jayden blinks, confused at the sudden tension.

"It's the gap sensor," Mentor explains quietly. "Master Xandred has released a Nighlok onto the city."

"Oh." He hesitates before holding out a hand; the Lion Zord, for the first time, shuts down in his palm. "Do they need this?"

Mentor considers him for a moment. "Are you willing to give it to them?"

Jayden's hand trembles, just a little. "Do they need it or not?"

Mentor glances around; Kevin's gone inside to check the map, but the others are still there. He picks out Emily, takes the Zord from Jayden and tosses it to her.

"Come back safe," he tells her, and she nods, eyes wide. Kevin returns, takes in the situation at a glance, and nods a thanks to Jayden before leading the others away.

Emily returns the Zord as soon as they get back, before even checking in with Mentor. Jayden's in the recovery room, idly twirling a shinai he must have picked up outside. It's nothing like the elaborate patterns she's used to seeing from him, but his grip is sure and steady and there's no hesitation in his movements.

"Oh," Emily says without meaning to. "Sorry."

He shrugs, setting it aside. "Everything go ok?"

"Sure." She holds out the Zord, letting it fly back to him. "Nighlok's gone, we're still here."

"Anyone hurt?" He looks up when she's silent, frowning. "What?"

"You sound like him. You. The you you used to be."

He looks away. "It's just a question. Polite."

"No one was hurt."

"Good."

She glances around the room. "You could go back to your own room, if you wanted."

"If I knew where that was, I'm sure I could," he agrees distantly.

"Jayden..."

"Jarrell!"

She flinches, just a little. "Sorry. I know. I'll be careful."

He sighs, turning towards her. "I didn't mean to yell. I'm sorry. I just – I don't want to hurt anyone here, but that name still –"

She takes a step towards him, frowning. "Are you – Ja – Jarrell, are you afraid?" He doesn't answer, but she smiles, taking another step. "We are not afraid of you," she reminds him.

"I nearly killed your Mentor, I nearly killed Antonio. I fought all of you..."

She laughs softly. "You don't remember, I guess, but you had this conversation with Kevin, just after we were made Rangers. A Nighlok took control of his mind and you had to fight him to break the control. Kevin felt really bad over it; I think he wanted to leave..."

"Did he hurt anyone else?"

"No."

"Then it's not the same, is it."

"He raised his sword against you, you raised yours against him. He wasn't in control, you did what you had to and we didn't blame him. We don't blame you." She touches his hand lightly; when he doesn't flinch, she steps into him and wraps her arms around him in a hug. "I know there's a way to beat this," she says, directly into his ear. "We'll find it. Until then, we trust you. We're not afraid of you. Come home, Jayden."

Anger flares through him, but it's brief, gone almost before he registers it. He wraps his arms slowly around Emily, burying his face in her hair. For just a moment, he allows himself to let go.

Antonio comes to sleep in the recovery room that night; he's been doing that, on and off, but he doesn't usually try to talk so Jayden hasn't objected. He lies, sleepless, for a long time, watching the moon move across the window and listening to Antonio breathe. Emily's words echo inside his head. We are not afraid of you...come home.

He closes his eyes and sleeps.