Chapter Text
Lance talks Hunk into going with him to find a secret waterfall deep in the forest, rumored for it’s pure, clear water. As they walk thru the dense foliage, Hunk stammers, “They say it’s… haunted.”
Lance scoffs, “That only means we’ll have the place to ourselves!”
After hours of hiking, just when they're about to give up and admit the waterfall was some kind of wilderness myth, the trees part and before them is something out of a movie.
A gentle waterfall splashes down a mossy, flower-covered cliffside into a pool of water so clear and pure, that if it weren't for the sunlight sparkling off the surface, it wouldn't even be visible.
Lance crows, triumphant, and tossing off his shirt and shoes wastes no time cannon balling into the center of the pool.
"Lance!!" Hunk scolds when Lance resurfaces, "We need to test it first!"
Lance huffs and throws his arms in the air, splashing Hunk. "Dude! My MAN! Look at this, it's pristine! And fucking WARM! Must be some hot spring. GET IN HERE!"
"NOT until I test it. YOU might not mind spending the night barfing up a lung from some weird secret waterfall bug, but I do not." Hunk sighs and removes his pack, crouching down to rifle through it to find his test kit.
Lance huffs again, but resigns himself to letting Hunk be Hunk, and tips to float on his back in the buoyant water. Closing his eyes he thinks this is the perfect reward for all that hiking, it's possibly the most relaxed he's ever been in his life.
That is until, "LANCE!!" Hunk whisper-shouts at him.
Lance cracks open one eye to look over at his friend. "Don't need to shout, right here."
"Lance, who's that??" Hunk visibly blanches as he points to something behind Lance.
"Har har, very funny, stop stalling..." Lance mutters as he spins to find himself nose to nose with... something...
For a second, Lance thinks it’s some weird cosplayer with no sense of personal space. Purple hair, fake elf ears, someone’s played way too much D&D. But then they blink and their pale violet eyes swirl with unearthly fire, and… NOPE. LEAVING NOW. Not today secret waterfall satan.
Lance is turning before he even thinks it and starts sprinting to the edge of the pool. Well, sprinting as fast as one can in neck high water. In retrospect, swimming would have been the logical fastest option but Lance isn’t finding himself in a particularly logical state of mind.
He sees Hunk standing wide-eyed and petrified in place as he nears the rocky edge of the pool. Lance grabs for the ledge to lift himself out, but all the thrashing about has made it slippery and he falls back into the water with a splash. In an instant he’s up again, sputtering and blinking away the water. He risks a glance behind him, surely this setback has given that thing time to catch up, but all that’s behind him is the slowly stilling water.
What the… ? “HUNK!! HUNK! Some help here!” Lance yells, just as the water explodes around him. He spins to see something impossible. Some creature with a head nearly as long as his body rises out of the water, rapidly followed by miles and miles of purple and blue neck. When it stops rising, it pauses to look directly at him, water rippling off its serpentine body, and Lance’s brain begins to shut down.
Of all the ways Lance had considered he might meet his end — in bed surrounded by dozens of great-grandchildren; heroically defending the universe; smothered by adoring fans — this particular demise had never ever had occurred to him. This giant mutant snake ate the cosplayer and was going to make him dessert.
He feels the rocks press into his back as he unconsciously tries to put as much space between him and the monster, his mouth moves mutely, just as well, screaming would probably just encourage it. It cocks its head, and Lance irrationally thinks it looks like a confused puppy before it lowers to look him in the eye. This is where it eats him.
He wants to look away, but fear sticks him in place. Its eyes glow and swirl with purple and red flames as it edges closer and snorts, and, suddenly he’s yelling. Loud. Lance McClain is not going to die in this stupid haunted waterfall. Not today.
He scrabbles fruitlessly against slippery side of the pool when large hands grab onto his arm and heave him bodily from the water. Hunk is about as pale as it’s possible for a human to get and he looks like he’s about two seconds away from throwing up, but he’s still here. He’s winning all the best friend of the millennium awards today.
“RUN!” Is all Lance can get out before they’re doing just that. Fuck his shirt, fuck his shoes, fuck the cosplayer, fuck that mutant snake.
They run until the sounds of the waterfall are a distant memory and they’re deep in the forest again. Lance collapses against a tree and Hunk drops beside him. They sit like that, trying to catch their breath and wrap their heads around what just happened.
“Do you think it followed us?” Hunk asks, still face down on the mossy ground.
“No,” Lance breathes, “something that big, we’d know if it were behind us.”
Hunk looks up at him. “What WAS that thing??”
Good question, Lance thinks.
Hunk eases himself up to a sitting position and leans agains Lance. “Everyone said it was haunted…” he mumbles, “but not with the Loch Ness Monster.”
Lance snorts. “Waterfall Nessie?? Maybe it’s got a vacation lake to get away from Scotland once in a while.”
Hunk guffaws, “Told you to let me test the water before you jumped in.”
☵ ☲
The thing is Lance isn’t stupid, he knows how lucky he and Hunk were to get out of there with their lives. He knows this as he gets home that night and pulls the splinters out of his feet and collapses in bed. He knows this as he resumes his life. As he does his job as a tour guide for incoming students at his college. As he flirts with the cute junior in the library. As he babysits his niece and nephew. He knows he should take the win and forget about the whole stupid thing.
The thing is though, he doesn’t forget about it.
What he actually does could reasonably be described as the polar opposite of “forgetting about it.” He fixates on it with growing intensity as each day passes. “What was that thing?” “Is it some new kind of cryptid?” “Did it even exist?” “Did the water have some kind of hallucinogenic in it?”“Why did it eat the cosplayer and not them?” “Did it eat the cosplayer?” “If it ate the cosplayer and not him is it because there’s something fundamentally unappealing about him?” That last one bothered him more than he was comfortable admitting.
It’s barely a week before he reaches his breaking point and finds himself trekking back into those same woods armed with a pocket knife, a compass, and a fully charged phone. Lance was getting some answers damn it.
He would’ve told Hunk, but, let’s face it, Hunk would’ve done everything he could to talk Lance out of it, and Lance simply wasn’t in the mood to be talked out of it. Then Hunk would’ve insisted on coming, because he wasn’t the type of friend to let another friend do something stupid alone. And Lance knew this was stupid, because, again, he wasn’t stupid, but he also wasn’t going to put Hunk through that, through this.
He quiets his steps as he hears the waterfall. Moving with ninja-like stealth, he nears the pool and positions himself behind a tree lined with shrubs. It’s the perfect hiding spot, where he can keep watch on the pool and the surrounding woods. Now he just has to wait for the thing to show up, get his pictures, get his answers, slap it all on TikTok, and get famous.
Hours pass as the morning slides into afternoon. The birds chirp happily in the trees above him, the wind blows gently through the leaves, and the sparkling water lulls him into a meditative state as he waits. Occasionally a rustling in the ground cover around him rouses him from his trance, but when he looks around there’s nothing to be found.
It’s the crick in his back that finally requires him to stand up, he’s been crouched here for hours. Stupid cryptid, keeping him waiting. He turns to lean his back against the tree, and that’s when he sees it.
It’s sitting about 20 feet behind him, head cocked to the side, body coiled neatly behind it, watching him. Lance yelps in what he tells himself is a manly fashion, and immediately regrets every thought he’s had over the past week. It’s like he wanted to get eaten.
The creature doesn’t move. It doesn’t come closer, or move away. Doesn’t growl, doesn’t roar, it just looks at him and blinks occasionally. How long has it been sitting there? He suddenly feels more embarrassment than fear, here he’s been thinking he’s the hunter when he’s really been the prey all the time.
When the standoff clearly isn’t going to end on it’s own, Lance goes for the most reliable tool in his box — the charm offensive.
“Come here often?” He purrs.
The creature blinks at him.
Lance sighs, “Look, how about you don’t eat me, and I just go.” He gestures away from the pool in what he hopes is a non-threatening manner. “I go and I never come back. I’m not going to hurt you, I promise.”
The thing snorts, and makes a wheezing noise.
“I promise, just let me go. I won’t hurt you.” Lance motions again.
It wheezes again.
Is it angry? Maybe it’s not wheezing, maybe it’s hissing. Crap, maybe he’s making it worse.
“I… “ he begins, “I… wait. Are you laughing at me??”
The creature does what can only be described as an eye roll.
Lance didn’t crouch on the ground for 4 hours to get sass from a cryptid. “Look here Nessie, this might not have been my best idea, but…” Then Lance’s head explodes. “Do you UNDERSTAND ME?!”
It snorts and, yup, yup, that’s the eye roll again. “You understand me! I’m Lance.” He points to himself. “Do you have name? Can you talk?” Ok, this isn’t a Disney movie, he knows that’s going out on a limb, but hey, he is currently having a conversation with a fantasy creature, so nothing’s off the table.
The creature furrows its brow… thinking? And Lance is about say something when the water, is it water? It kinda looks like the stuff in a lava lamp floating around the thing. It starts swirling around it, spinning faster and faster until the creature is completely obscured by a blue glow. And then, like a soap bubble popping, the water is gone. The creature is gone, and in its place is the cosplayer. The very alive, very uneaten, very cute, and very very naked cosplayer.
“I’m Keith.”
On later reflection Lance preferred to believe that his brain malfunctioning, leaving him to stare slack jawed at “Keith” for at least 7 times longer than was reasonably polite, was simply the shock at 1. Meeting a cryptid and 2. Finding out he speaks English. But he knew damn well that it was really 3. CUTE NAKED GUY.
Recovering his senses, he turns away, rips off this hoodie, and holds it out behind him, shaking it in the vague direction of his new acquaintance. “For god’s sake, cover up.”
Nothing.
“You can’t just go around like… like… THAT!” He adds shaking the hoodie more vigorously to emphasize his point.
After what seems like an agonizing 5 hours of silence, Lance feels a tug on the garment and he relinquishes his hold. He’s not sure what “Keith” is doing with the hoodie, but he will definitely NOT be turning around thank you very much. You don’t grow up with a bunch of sisters and not learn how to avoid being a total ass.
“Lance?” A low, gentle voice calls out from behind him. “Is this right?”
Lance takes in a long breath, and risks a glance. “Keith” is wearing his hoodie, zipped up to his neck, and mercifully extending halfway down his thighs. How Lance ended up a bit taller than the cryptid is a question that just piles itself messily on top of the heap of questions already overloading his brain.
“You came back.” Keith smiles, possibly even more stunning wearing Lance’s hoodie, and, fuck, he’s staring again.
“Back, yes, I did, back, yes.” Oh great, Lance laments internally, he’s off to a fantastic start. Probably would’ve been less painful if Keith had eaten him.
Keith is smirking at him, so Lance clears his throat and tries again. “I came back, yes.”
Keith cocks his head slightly. “Why?”
“Wha… Why?! Seriously?!”
Keith furrows his brow and folds his arms over his chest, looking serious, and adorable, shut UP brain. “Nobody ever comes back. Why did you?”
Lance sputters out a disbelieving laugh, “Because…” he gestures aggressively at all of Keith.
Keith’s frown deepens as he looks around himself trying to see what Lance is indicating. Ok, I’ve got myself a beautiful idiot, I’ve worked with less Lance muses.
“YOU!!” Lance yells loud enough that Keith startles and some birds fly out of the trees above them. “Um, ah, I came back because of you… I guess.”
“You… weren’t scared?” Keith asks.
“Of you? Oh you betcha. You were terrifying.” Lance affirms.
At this news Keith stands a bit taller, puffing out his chest. “I protect my water from all intruders.”
“Your water?” Lance jerks his thumb over his shoulder in the direction of the waterfall.
Keith nods. “I protect it and all life that lives near its flow, and in turn it sustains me.”
Lance isn’t 100% sure what that means, but he’s about 78%, so he nods slowly back. “And me and Hunk… I just barged on in. I… I’m sorry.”
Keith squints at Lance as if trying to parse out his meaning, then looks away. “Okay.”
Lance resists the urge to prompt the cryptid on how to graciously accept an apology, the guy clearly doesn’t get out much. “You didn’t hurt me, us, though.”
Keith cocks his head at this.
“You said you protect this waterfall, but you didn’t try to hurt me.” Lance elaborates.
Keith snorts. “You weren’t a threat.” He deadpans.
Lance huffs, offended. “I’ll have you know that I am MORE than capable of being a threat.” Keith snorts again. “I just have manners.” Lance sniffs.
“Which is why you threw yourself into MY waterfall.” Keith retorts.
“Well, that’s… I… I mean, it’s not like there were any “no trespassing” signs or anything! Like who the hell would think that there’s a…” he gestures emphatically at Keith again, “a… a… YOU in there!! What are you anyways?” Okay, that last question was a bit blunt, but he’s flustered and this Keith is growing more annoying than frightening by the second.
“I’m a Water Dragon.” Keith’s response interrupts Lance’s internal monologue.
“You’re a dragon?”
“Yes.”
“But you’re furry.”
“Yes.”
“But dragons aren’t furry! They’re scaly, and have horns and wings and live in caves filled with treasure!” Lance waves in hands in a “clearly I’m a sane person” sort of fashion.
Keith scoffs, “Please, tell me more about dragons.”
Maybe it’s Keith’s disdainful expression, or maybe it’s because his idiot brain finally reminds him that he’s not talking to some dude in the woods, and is actually having a conversation with a cryptid, and doesn’t actually have the authority to tell Keith what he is or is not, but Lance decides arguing with the “dragon” probably isn’t his best move.
“Sorry.” Lance mutters, then sighs. “You’re just not like any dragons I’ve read about.”
“Clearly.”
“Hey! I said I was sorry, okay?” Lance snaps.
Keith glowers at him, mouth fixed in a hard line. Lance winces, no matter how irritating Keith is, and he definitely is, if Lance doesn’t watch it, he WILL get eaten.
They stand facing each other in silence, neither willing to give in, until Lance can’t stand it anymore.
“Well, sorry for intruding.” He grabs his backpack and turns to leave, “I’ll just get out of here now.”
Lance gets about five steps before…
“Are you coming back?”
He turns to see Keith glaring fiercely at the ground and clenching his fists.
“I promise I won’t. And I won’t tell anyone else. You don’t have to worry.” Lance assures with more bitterness than he intended.
Keith’s expression darkens and Lance turns to go.
“I WANT YOU TO COME BACK!”
Lance stops and spins on his heel. “What??”
Keith is making possibly the most frustrated face Lance has ever seen another being make, and slowly, PAINFULLY, repeats himself. “I want you to come back.”
Now it’s Lance’s turn to blink mutely.
“Never mind.” Keith huffs angrily, “I don’t know…”
“I’ll come back.”
Keith’s head snaps up so fast he has to have pulled something.
“I’ll come back.” Lance isn’t sure what he’s doing, but he knows himself well enough to know that he can’t walk away from this. If nothing else, he’ll have some unbeatable bragging rights.
Keith’s back to finding the ground completely fascinating as he mutters a barely audible, “okay.”
“Okay.” Lance agrees only briefly considering the vast multitude of ways he might be crazy.