Chapter Text
Mo walked down the hallways to the outside court with the rest of his classmates. It was only the second period but his body was screaming at him to sleep through all of his classes. They had PE, the coach led them through the familiar hallways, and out the rusty double doors that lead to the asphalt playground with peeling white lines around the basketball court.
Usually, Mo loved playing, being able to let out steam and getting away from teachers babbling away during lectures was always awesome. But today, his stomach felt like it was digesting itself and his body felt frail and weak, he hated it.
He knew why he felt like this, but he couldn’t exactly “fix it”.
Bills had been piling up lately, his mom was getting only half of her paycheck because her boss was apparently going through financial issues himself. She told Mo that she’d handle this situation on her own, and that he should focus on passing the upcoming final exams.
This whole ordeal has been going on for months, and it was visible on her body. Mo could see her eyebags becoming more pronounced with each double shift, her figure getting smaller and her clothes hanging more loosely on her.
All because now that money is tight again, it’s making her fall back into a bad habit of saving any available food for Mo, thus sacrificing her own health in the process. All their meals together in the past couple months have turned into her getting a couple bites, asking Mo about his day before quickly leaving to take a nap and leaving the food for Mo to finish.
Last week before he headed to school, he saw his mom sprawled out on the sofa in the living room, still in her work uniform. A sad look flashed across his face before guilt hung on every corner of his features.
He came back from her room with a big fluffy blanket while still deep in thought, feeling like shit for not being able to find a job to lift some of the load she was carrying. With the reputation he’d grown over the past couple years due to hanging around She Li’s gang, and the rumors that spread like wildfire after he almost got framed for sexual assault, no shop in the whole town accepted his resume. Even after his innocence was proved, the rumors lingered in every stare the neighbors shot him.
He peeled her shoes off and brought the blanket to wrap her in it, but noticed the way her shirt dipped in place of her stomach. He rubbed his eyes and looked again, his mom’s lower ribs were outlined in her uniform shirt.
It felt like a ton of bricks crashed onto him, head on, his shoulders tightened and his heart dropped.
He teared up on the way to school that morning, after tucking his mom in her bed instead of the sofa. The walk took way more time than it usually did.
And the cherry on top being, he had too much time on his hands. He Tian left town last week, giving some dogshit excuse before disappearing entirely.
Mo psyched himself up all afternoon last Tuesday, wanting to hear something other than his own thoughts, and called the bastard.
“The number you’re currently trying to reach is not in use, please try again later.”
Of course he wouldn’t be able to reach him.
Mo ended up groaning in frustration, then took a nap to try and forget he made the phone call in the first place.
Beside that disappearing bastard, Mo thought of hanging out with the other two idiots, Jian Yi and Zhang Zheng Xi. And he did. But later after a whole night of embarrassing himself in the mall and third wheeling the entire time, he swore to never again hang out with just the two of them.
But then the more thought he’d put into it, he’d have to spend money in some way every time he hung out with somebody, whether it be for food or transportation or entry fees to a place etc etc, and Mo absolutely hated the idea of borrowing money, even more so during the difficult financial situation his mom and him were in right now, because he knew he wouldn’t be able to pay back anytime soon. And because of this, Mo found himself hanging out with friends and classmates less and less, in turn only feeling more lonely.
He groaned in frustration, if only he could find a job, he’d work any position he really didn’t care anymore. He’d shovel shit from behind cattle if it meant it would make his mom stop sacrificing her own health for him.
The high pitched sound of the coach’s whistle brought him back to the present moment, the sound ringing in his ears as he sat on a bench and held his water bottle with two hands. The space beside him on the bench felt empty, though he’d never have it in himself to admit it aloud.
His limbs felt like jello, like they could slip and he’d lose control of them at any given moment. He stared at the floor, the ringing not stopping and his stomach kept tearing at itself and he really just wanted to sleep right now.
Through his hazy gaze he noticed a pair of worn out sports shoes walking in his direction, before stopping right in front of him.
“Mo Guan Shan, you know I don't allow anyone to sit down and relax before they play in the game for a minimum of 10 minutes, correct?”
Mo looked up and tried to maintain eye contact with the coach, but the scorching heat did nothing but make him feel weaker, as if the slightest breeze of air would knock him to the floor. A sheen of sweat trickling under his clothes, beads dotting his collar.
“Coach I feel really nauseous, can I sit this one out?” His words came out a little slurred despite his best efforts.
The middle aged man just raised an eyebrow; used to the excuse. He fixed his glasses and took a closer look at Mo, seeing how pale he looked.
He soon sighed, and patted the teenager on the back before muttering “ Go to the nurse” while walking back to where he sat on the bleachers and continued watching the other students play.
Mo couldn't believe it, usually the coach would call bullshit on whatever excuse anyone gave him. Without dwelling on the thought, he picked himself up and walked back inside the building he came out of, trying to hide the subtle wobble in his legs.
The nurse’s office is on the other side of the school, he sighed and continued walking in silence. Wondering if he should just go to an empty classroom and wait out the period, because he knew why he was nauseous, didn’t feel proud of doing it but he knew why.
Guess you could say that he’d been starving himself, every dinner with his mom he’d give some dumb excuse about eating with classmates and that she should eat instead. He just wanted to stop seeing her sacrifice her own health for him. The only times he was eating were lunch at school, having stopped buying any snacks to avoid wasting what little allowance money his mom gave him, until he could find a job at least.
The school lunches never felt filling, with small portions and a distasteful look to them. Eating them felt like a chore, so he always tried to get it over as fast as he could.
He hated this, he hated that it had come to this. Being hungry all the time just brought up memories of when his dad first got sent to prison. Getting kicked out of where they lived, everyone they’d asked for help had shut the door in their faces, living in tiny bug infested apartments that reeked just to have a roof over their heads, and an almost always empty fridge.
He truly wished that their circumstances were different, but he was never the brightest kid and for now this seemed like the only option.
He looked up, finding himself at the door to the nurse’s. He sighed and opened the door.