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“Hey, darling, will you pass the jam?”
“Of course, my love.”
This was a daily thing they did. Barty would flirt, and Evan would flirt back, vise versa. It was normal. Everyone around them agreed. But nobody ever thought it was real. Of course it wasn’t. Evan and Barty? Pfft. That would never happen. They flirted and that was that, nothing else. Right?
Wrong. And they both knew it. There had always been an underlying tension, only they were aware of. Though neither had acted upon it. So they went on, playing a game that had no finish.
There were many things Barty loved about Evan. The way he spoke some words, with that slight French accent. The little cracks in his voice when he laughs. How he rubs his finger tips together when he’s nervous. The sarcastic comments he makes on just about everything. Barty really loves everything about Evan. Does that mean he loves Evan? Who knows.
Dorcas groaned, snapping Barty out of his thoughts. How rude.
“Guys, it is 7:30 in the morning and I haven’t had my coffee yet. Can you not give me a migraine right now?”
“Sorry, Dorcas. I’ll tell Evan to stop.” Barty responded.
Evan rolled his eyes. “You can go fuck yourself, Barty.”
“Mhm, nope. Don’t do that, remember?”
“Oh my Merlin, please help me.”
“Shut the fuck up, will you?” Regulus pipes up from beside Barty. “I agree with Dorcas. It’s up early for this.”
“You’re all no fun.” Barty sighed.
___
Their day went on as usual, boring ass classes and little paying attention.
At least until around 5:45. Barty burst through their dorm room door with his loud presence, and so kindly announced: “There’s a party in the Gryffindor common room and you lot are coming with me. Plus Pandora and Dorcas.”
Evan grumbled and sank down lower into his bed meanwhile Regulus peeled up at the word “Gryffindor”, that lovesick bastard.
“Well get up, get ready. Hurry!” Barty ushered. With what seemed like a great amount of effort Evan picked himself up from the bed and started rummaging through his clothes, probably looking for something to wear. You see Barty’s smart like that and makes good observations.
Barty made his way over to him, leaning over his shoulder to see the clothes he was choosing from. Completely ignoring the good options, Barty reached down and grabbed a horrid looking pair of dress trousers, and holds them up. “Y’know I think these would be quite lovely.” He comments.
Evan looks up, obviously hoping for some actual help, but his face fell when he saw the actual hate crime in front of him. “Dear gods, help me.” He muttered. “Barty, honey, those look like my grandmas shitty shower curtain was chopped up and badly sewn back together, in a somewhat trouserey way.” Evan reaches out and grabbed the abomination attempting to pull them from his hands, but Barty held tightly.
Evan narrowed his eyes and pulled harder. Whatever was happening might have turned into tug-a-war, had Barty not let go at the exact moment he did. Evan went flying backwards into his bed, but had caught Barty’s arm sleeve by reflex and pulled him down with him.
Barty landed on top of Evan, they’re faces almost touching, and oh, even the most beautiful place in the world couldn’t give him feeling like this. Evan was literally the most beautiful thing ever.
Evans eyes flicked down to Barty’s lips and for a moment Barty believed it might finally be happening. They both inches forward, lips almost brushing when the bathroom door flew open, and they jumped apart. Regulus glances at them suspiciously. “Y’know, not even gonna ask.”
After that they awkwardly got ready in silence.
___
Once they arrived at the party, Regulus immediately went to go find a certain trouble maker and Dorcas was swept up by Marlene. Pandora decided to go mingle with the girls, leaving just Barty and Evan. Goody.
Upon this predicament, Barty decided to get hammered. He turned to Evan, “I’m gonna go grab a drink.”
Evan just nodded and probably did the same.
Around an hour had gone by and just as he intended Barty was hammered. He was sitting on the couch awkwardly staring off into the distance, thinking about important things, like taxes, when he suddenly gained awareness. Well, somewhat. He had the urge to find Evan, so he did.
Evan was standing by the window talking to Remus. Very sneakily Barty crept up behind him, and threw an arm around his shoulder. “Hellooo, Evy.” He said. Jesus, he was drunk. Though Evan didn’t look very far off from Barty at the moment.
“Oh hi” he said simply.
“Y’know, we should probably talk about what happened earlier.” Barty said, without thinking, like the god forsaken idiot he is.
Evan went red and very still. Honestly, what was Barty excepting him to do? “Uhm,”
Remus, who was still standing there, looked between them oddly. “Well I’m just gonna leave you to it.” He said, and walked away.
Barty looked at Evan. “I’m really sorry I brought that up. I’m kinda pissed right now. But back to the thing, we can forget about it if you want, but I don’t think I want to. Unless you do then-“ Evan cut him of by putting a finger under his chin and softly bringing him to a kiss.
Oh. Well. That wasn’t what he was expecting, but hell yeah! The kiss only lasted about five seconds before they broke apart, both smiling. Barty laughed a little.
Barty prayed nobody had seen that, but considering that most people had either left, or were to pissed to pay attention, the odds were likely in his favor.
They both agreed to talk about this in the morning, as they were both drunk as hell at the moment. Somehow they found they’re way to the Slytherin common room and fell into Barty’s bed.
Evan, being the responsible one, started to get up to go to his own bed but Barty grabbed his hand. “Stay.” He muttered. Evan looked at him for a moment before smiling slightly and laying back down.
“Okay.”
___
The next morning Barty woke up hung over as fuck. Typical. Except this time Evan was laying beside him, snoring. That was new. What happened last night?
He remembered being drunk, he was looking for someone... Evan. He found Evan with with Sirius? No, Lupin. Then... oh shit.
By now, Evan was beginning to wake. Great timing, considering they should probably talk about this. Ew, feelings.
Evan finally awoke all the way and sat up, rubbing his eye. He looked at Barty, confusion etched on his face, but only for a moment. Realization seemingly dawned on him, as he made a somewhat groan-like noise and buried his head in his hands. Barty watched, slightly intrigued, as the boy in front of him went through the five stages of grief before his very eyes. Barty cleared his throat and casted a silencing spell around the bed.
“So, uhm. We should probably talk about last night.” He started. Poetic genius, he knows.
Evan looked as if in pain. “Do we have to?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t really... know what... uhm, to say?” Evan, also a poetic genius, replied.
“Well,” Barty started. “To start off, we were drunk at a petty last night, we kissed, we went back to the dorm, went to my bed, I told you to stay, like out of a cheesy rom-com, we fell asleep, and now where here.”
“Well-“ Evan started.
“Ah,” Barty cut in, “I’m not done.”
Evan sighed. The fucker: grow some patience.
“I like you, Evan Rosier. And I’m fairly sure you like me back so how’s your time to correct me if I’m wrong.”
Evan just stared back. He gave a slight turn of his head to indicate that Barty was right, so he continued.
“Wonderful, now I have a very important question: Evan, will you be my boyfriend?” He finished. Good lord, that should not be so scary.
Evan looked at him with a gleam in his eye. “Yes, Bartimeus Crouch Jr., I will be your boyfriend.” He smiled and continued, “Now how the fuck are gonna tell the others, cause I guarantee they won’t believe us.”
___
They did intact, not believe them.
When they finally got to breakfast everyone else was already there. They took their usual seats and began to fill their plates. Pandora looked at them curiously.
“So, where have you two been?” She asked.
“Confessing our undying love.” Evan replied.
“Making it official.” Barty added.
Pandora rolled her eyes and went back to eating. Regulus joined in the conversation.
“Seriously, where were you though? I woke up and Evans bed was empty and Barty’s was silent, which is concerning considering how fucking loud you snore.”
“We told you Reg,” Evan began. “Not our fault you don’t believe us.”
“I’m done with you both.” Regulus quipped.
“Love you too!”
Only a few moments later Remus appeared behind Evan, informing him that they needed to go to the library for their study group thing. Barty honestly forgot that was today.
Evan turned to Barty with a mischievous look about his face. It wasn’t until he leaned over and pecked Barty on the lips, that he realized Evans plan. The absolute fucker, he’s gonna leave Barty to deal with their friends reactions. God, Barty loved him. Just like that Evan got up and left with Lupin.
In front of him Pandora dropped her fork, mouth agape. Dorcas and Regulus wore a similar expression. Barty just continued on like nothing happened. The silence was deafening.
Finally Dorcas broke it. “What the actual fuck?”