Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Ben!” Forzen huffed in annoyance as he chased after his little brother, vaguely digitigrade legs speedily rushing along the linoleum floors as he ran down the halls.

Ugh! It felt like that kid never listened to him! How was he supposed to keep an eye on him when he wasn’t being listened to!?

Forzen rounded a corner, skidding to a halt as he saw his younger brother talking with a very tall and lanky scientist with slicked back ginger hair. Dammit . He rushed over, “Benry!” his pace slowing as he got close enough, giving a light, but still scolding, glare to his brother. “Ya can’t just run off like that, ya know what, uhm, Mic said!”

Benry, of course, only responded with some childishly mocking Sweet Voice, which Forzen in turn replied with his own scolding non-visual Sweet Voice.

He huffed in annoyance before looking up at the scientist, ears pressing against his head as he fully realized who exactly his brother was bothering. “O-Oh, uhm, Dr. Bubby, I’m really sorry my brother was b-botherin’ ya, sir.” He’d only met Dr. Bubby a few times, yet he’d heard of the scientist’s temperament many times from the other scientists that worked with Mic and Reese. The idea of being subjected to anyone’s rage was anxiety inducing, and he really didn’t want Benry to get in trouble.

Dr. Bubby raised a brow, staring at the both of them with what seemed to be vaguely amused curiosity. “It’s alright, bygones and all that.” He motioned vaguely with a hand. “Surprising to see you two running around, though.”

Forzen nudged his brother behind him, lightly swatting the younger xenian’s shoulder as he was mocked with more Sweet Voice. “We’re, uhm, they don’t have any tests for us so we’re allowed to walk ‘round for, uh, ‘enrichment’, sir.”

The scientist nodded sagely, “Ah yes, I see.” he glanced around the area a bit before slightly hunching down to their level, lowering his voice a bit. “I’m surprised you kids don’t cause more trouble, I’d say the bastards here deserve it, personally.” His tone was mischievous and somewhat joking.

Forzen felt Benry practically buzzing at the comment, he quickly held on to the younger boy’s forearm before he could run off again. “I’m not lookin’ to get us into trouble, sir.” He mildly grimaced at the ‘kid’ comment, frustrating, he was thirteen for god’s sake! He wasn’t a kid!

There was a small huff, of what seemed like laughter, from Dr. Bubby. “You don’t need to call me sir, kid.”

The boy froze up a bit as he sputtered, unsure of how to even respond. “I- I don’t-”

“It’s just Dr. Bubby or Bubby, kid. I’m not one of the power-tripping losers here.” His tone still sounded vaguely amused.

He warbled some anxious non-visual Sweet Voice, slowly nodding as he averted his gaze self-consciously. “Uhm, o-okay…”

“Good. Anyway, your brother seems to be running off again. You may want to hurry along.” Dr. Bubby spoke very matter-of-factly, standing back up straight.

The boy’s gaze snapped over just as he saw Benry, once again, round the corner away from him. “Ugh- BENRY!” He shouted, before beginning his sprint once again. “Thank you, Dr. Bubby!” He shouted behind him, unable to pause to hear whatever Dr. Bubby responded with.

As much as Forzen loved his little brother, he could really go without having to chase after him so much.

—

“You know….I’m somewhat surprised that was the first memory you chose. Such an incidental interaction and yet…”

“...”

“Now c’mon, don’t give me that. I’m trying to help you and in order to help I’m gonna need open communication, Forzen.”

“‘M just…confused, I guess. All of this is a lot ‘n as far as I know, I don’t have any people in my head usually.”

“Everyone has a conscience, Forzen!”

“....”

“...Yeah, okay, dumb lie, I get it.”

“Who are you.”

“W- I am just someone who’s here to help with your fucked up memories. Think of me as…your humble narrator.”

“A…narrator…okay then I guess. But… why , why me, and why this?”

“Your…predicament isn’t as simple as Gordon’s was. Your memory triggers wouldn’t be as simple to find, so, we’re speeding that up, getting things back on track, so to say.”

“.....Okay…I’ll, um, trust you for now at least.”

“Wonderful! Working together will speed things along quite nicely!”

—

Chapter Text

 —

“Let’s…how about we start from the beginning for simplicity’s sake, the very beginning.”

“When I was created? I, uh, I don’t think anyone can remember bein’ born, human or not.”

“Nothing to worry about, I’ll fill in the gaps.”

“I- how???”

“Time is inconsequential, you of all people should know that after what happened, Forzen.”

“ ...You aren’t who I think you are, right??? ”

“No! No, My apologies, Forzen, I am not Him , I promise. Goodness, mayhaps I should’ve worded that better, I’m sorry. But, I can promise you that w- I am not Him , nor am I affiliated with Him . You and your family won’t be hearing from Him for a very long time.”

“I…okay…’lright, I, uhm, I trust you. I guess let’s jus’, um, look at my first memory?”

“Onwards and upwards, Forzen.”

—

This memory was…strange to say the least, it wasn’t from his perspective this time, more like he was actually standing in the room watching from afar. The only real comparison that came to mind would be something out of a TV show, where he was a camera that would occasionally switch perspectives around the room. He…wasn’t going to question it, it was all too weird already.

The small lab was somewhat quiet, save for the pacing and soft murmuring of the man he clearly recognized as a much younger Dr. Joseph Reese. The scientist looked vaguely distressed about something, a look he’d clearly recognized in himself many times, pacing back and forth in front of a large tube that would probably go up to a person’s hip if on the ground. It was hard to tell what was actually inside due to the glass being somewhat foggy, but he knew he didn’t have to guess what was in there.

His pacing came to a stop as the door to the lab slid open, the much taller figure of Dr. Micah Woods walked in and paused, holding a clipboard as they raised a brow at him.

Reese squinted up at them, cracking his knuckles in a particular pattern Forzen had long since memorized. “Ya took your time.” His tone held a vague annoyance.

“You didn’t say it was urgent.” They responded with a small shrug, walking the rest of the way in before setting their clipboard on a desk, straightening their lab coat as they looked back over at Reese.

“Ya got me there.” He crossed his arms, huffing a bit as he averted his gaze. “Sorry, ‘m just… stressed .”

“About…?”

Reese stepped aside to let the tube be in full view, only briefly approaching to wipe the fog off with his sleeve. Inside, suspended in the liquid was a small, vantablack, cat-like creature, it was probably about the size of an adult’s hand. “It’s so… small . I’m…What if it doesn’t survive.”

He watched Mic walk over, tilting their head very slightly to the side as they studied the much younger him. “Well…if it survives it survives, if it doesn’t then we try again.”

Reese sighed in response but nodded, fixing the loose bun his hair was in. “Well, at least this one has so far survived to decantin’ day, we have to be doin’ somethin’ right at least.”

“I’m sure it will be fine, if you’re so worried, I can handle the controls while you check on it.” They spoke with a nonchalant attitude that was odd to see considering how he knew Mic now, though it also wasn’t too surprising to see.

Reese huffed a bit in response, but once again nodded before taking off his own lab coat and discarding it on a chair. “I’ll get a towel then.” He replied as he walked over to a cabinet, rolling up his sleeves before digging through it.

Mic walked over to a small console near the tube, standing around idly for a moment before Reese came back over with a towel, nodding at them. They input some command in response, Forzen watched as the liquid slowly drained out, eventually leaving the baby version of him shivering on the ground of the tube.

Reese somewhat hurriedly opened the tube, gently picking up the small vantablack ball of fur with the towel and drying it off as it protested with very high-pitched chirps. “Micah, we- holy shit , I think we did it.” He looked up at them with wide, excited, eyes.

He watched as Mic moved over, curiously observing the small creature wrapped in the towel that was still chirping. A soft look, very familiar to Forzen, crossed their face before their gaze moved back to Reese, the taller scientist nodding as they pat him on the shoulder. “See? What did I tell you?”

Reese rolled his eyes, a grin plastered on his face as he shook his head a bit. “Yeah, yeah, ya got me there.” He looked back down at the baby Forzen, using his thumb to gently smooth out the fur on his head, “Welcome to the world, Four. You're our lil miracle of science.” he murmured.

—

“...”

“You alright, kid?”

“Ye-Yeah…yeah, it was, uhm, ‘bout what I expected with how things were back then.”

“Ah, yes, well…I…I can’t say that all of these memories will be good. You know all too well how much of a shithole Black Mesa is, I won’t coddle you when it comes to that.”

“Yeah, you can, uh, say that again…Wait, I know how shitty Black Mesa is, but you said you’re tryin’ ta help me with my memory.”

“Yes, sorry, H- I should’ve specified. It’s important memories. You still have a general overview of your life, of course, a vague timeline of growing up, but due to everything you don’t have those critical memories anymore, the ones you rely on, the ones that shape you. Getting them back organically wouldn’t be impossible, of course, but it would be difficult to achieve. So, I-I’m speeding things up for you. Does that make sense?”

“...I…okay, that, uhm, makes sense now that you explain it.”

“Mhm. I can, well, I’m very sure that this’ll be stressful, but- mn…you, you won’t be alone for all of it at least. Similar in a way to that therapy shitshow your family did, but hopefully less of a shitshow.”

“Bro, I swear to god -”

“Shut the fuck- calm yourself. I said, hopefully less of a shitshow. If need be, we can pause at any time, just in case things become too much. It’ll be okay.”

“I…He won’t show up?”

“No, we won’t be going over anything recent. Everything we will be going through is before the Resonance Cascade happened, there will be no chances of Him popping up in your memories. You’re safe, kid.”

“O-Okay…okay, I jus’....let’s jus’, uhm, move on then.”

“Alright.”

—