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“Do you think we’re doing it wrong?”
Stiles looked up at Isaac, slowly moving his head off his boyfriend’s (YES!) chest. He’d made a habit of lying partially on top of him to listen to his heartbeat. The wind was rattling the windows with the rain providing a constant tapping noise and they were nestled nicely under Stiles comforter.
“Doing what wrong?”
Stiles looked a bit worried as he said it, endless possibilities flying through his head, from kissing techniques to the ‘we need to talk’ speech. Isaac fidgeted uncomfortably, his eyes quickly flitting about.
“This, I mean. We haven’t had sex yet. We’ve been together 3 months and I don’t know if you want to and you’re just not telling me and don’t you want to? Or is it just me, you don’t want to have sex with me. I don’t know what’s going on and everyone is talking about after the third date but we’ve been on more dates and all we do is cuddle!”
Isaacs voice had started off at a normal volume but got louder and near-hysterical as the sentence went on. Stiles looked at him, a bit baffled. Stiles pushed up on his elbows to get a better look at Isaac.
“Well. No. I mean. What does it matter what other people say? Do you want to have sex? I mean, I would like to have sex, but it should be like, consensual and there should be mutual gain and you never seemed interested beyond cuddling and kissing, I didn’t want to push, y’know?”
Stiles tried to keep his voice as level as possible, and in the position he was in he couldn’t flail about as much, he had actually given it a bit of thought, but he never wanted to push Isaac into anything.
Isaac blinked at Stiles response, lost for words. He listened to rain spattering against the window, it didn’t seem to be letting up anytime soon. He tried not looking at Stiles but Stiles was still looking at him with those big amber eyes of his and Isaac felt trapped. He felt exposed because it was like Stiles knew him better than he did himself and he didn’t care, didn’t judge him or think he was weird or wrong or broken.
“Isaac, we don’t have to have sex, we shouldn’t do something one us doesn’t want, that’s not how it works. I don’t care about other people and their relationships and sexlives and if you want we’ll have sex when we’re ready but if you don’t want to, then we don’t, yeah?”
Stiles had browsed a lot of websites after he realised that he may not be entirely straight, and resented a lot of the websites that said that the only way to have a healthy and/or happy relationship was if you had a lot of sex and that you should always be available for sex if your partner is in the mood. Bullshit. Sure, Stiles wasn’t an expert this was his first and only relationship, but really, sex couldn’t be the only foundation.
Isaac wanted to tell Stiles that he didn’t think he’d really ever be ready to have sex, just another thing that was wrong with him in a long list of things, and while his words sounded great, Isaac had a thought niggling at the back of his head, saying that when Stiles realized there wasn’t going to be any sex he would leave.
But for the moment he smiled and let himself be happy with Stiles snug in his arms and the rain finally quit tapping at the window.