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Wake.
Shaky breath.
Heavy heartbeat.
Utena tried her best to calm herself, a bad dream was all it was, but really, but this didn't seem to be working, suddenly being reminded of reality, current problems, mistakes, wasn't very pleasant.
Her room was only illuminated by the soft blue of the night sky and the little red numbers of her alarm clock, the device itself barely visible in the darkness. It was almost midnight, she should be asleep.
She did her best to calm herself, she willed her eyes shut and shuffled back under the sheets, grabbing a few random plushies near her that she couldn't really identify in the dark, but her heart rate wouldn't slow, her breath didn't smooth out, she still felt really cold…
Worry took over, she felt compelled to go and check on someone.
Utena got up out of her bed, put on some slippers, and went through her room's door, she descended the steps down to the first floor, moving carefully such that the little creaks it gave would not wake her mother, and went to the front door, and opened it, being met with the chilly autumn air of the outside, a slight wind blowing across the grass.
'Let's go visit Kiwi…'
"I love them…"
"I wish I could be just like them…"
"Would you like to try? Transforming yourself, that is."
A childish voice came from behind Utena, not immediately realizing what was said, she turned to face the source.
'Ah, did I say that out loud? How embara..'
"Eh?"
Utena saw, not a person, but a thing, floating in the air, a white and pink catlike thing, with long floppy limbs but pointy ears, a heart shape on its chest and ears, and another heart for its tail.
"WHAT?!"
'A mascot-like character with the ability to grant magic to a boring girl like myself just appeared in front of me!?'
"Wha-Wha-Wait a minute!! Why spring this on me so suddenly?!"
"My name is Vatz, it's a pleasure to meet you!
Hiiragi Utena! A chosen power…
… resides within YOU!"
Walking through the empty, slightly chilly streets, Utena made her way towards Kiwi's house, the cold seeping into her lungs, she definitely should have changed into something warmer before going out like this… Kiwi's house was a bit further than she thought.
Utena got lost in thought, she had lost control of herself as Baiser in that last battle, she did some pretty awful things to Tres Magia… how was she supposed to apologize for that? Magenta's scream from the recording still rang in her ears…
… and some new people showed up didn't they? Were they also there to Eliminate her? Eliminate evil… that would mean Killing her right? Tres Magia was also supposed to do that, but I don't want that! People don't die in Magical Girl stories right? Sometimes the Heroes win, sometimes the Villains win, but in the end, there will always be more, right? If someone died… then -
*WHAM!!*
Utena fell to the ground with a bruise on her forehead, her thoughts very rudely interrupted by… a light pole. She must have run into it while thinking… she looked around, and located herself. She had forgotten to make a turn some distance back…
She got back up and started moving again, she couldn't be wasting time like this, her walking quickened in pace as she made it back to where she was supposed to turn, she just needed to check on Kiwi.
She just needed to check on Kiwi…
"LET ME GO YOU BITCH!!"
The loud little villain struggled and screamed obscenities at the newly christened Magia Amethyst, formerly Utena Hiiragi, the new member of the now Cuatro Magia made her debut. Leopard was helpless, tied up in Utena's new weapon, a Lasso powered by a Purple lightning.
Amethyst walked forward to the criminal, with the many eyes of the bystanders watching the victorious new hero and…
'OhcrapwhatdoIsayIgottasaysomethingcoolthatamagicalgirlwouldsayIgottasaysomethingIgottasaysometh-'
Utena had a full-speed panic in her mind as she tried to walk through what she would now do, her first appearance having restrained an important villain, she failed to notice Magia Azur walking toward the captured prisoner with her sword in hand.
*SCHLUNK*
"Eh?"
Azur had gone ahead and simply… executed Leopard, her head fell to the ground, her expression turning from fear to vacancy, and moments later, a yellow shine slipped across her body as the magic faded away, revealing…
"K- Kiwi-chan…?"
"Thank you new girl! You made a real good first impression today, Leopard's been causing lots of trouble for some time and - "
Utena screamed.
Fast walking soon turned into a brisk jog. The cool wind blew through Utena, chilling her, the soft pajamas doing little against the weather, her breath quickened, inviting more of the icy air into her, with the effort she was exerting, she sweated too. Somehow, she now felt too hot and too cold at the same time.
It mattered little right now, she needed to check on Kiwi.
A brisk jog soon turned into a run. Soon, fatigue settled in, the feeling in her legs fading away, Utena's lungs stung with the freezing air yet she was sweating enough to begin to stain her pajamas. Her slippers flopped off but she decided to just leave them behind, not wanting to waste the time putting them back on, they would probably just fall off again anyway.
Winding throught twists and turns, stepping over puddles, getting her socks wet, hyperfocused, reading the street signs and turning where she was supposed to, making decisions in extremely quick times, her legs became numb but she was powered with exceptional amounts of worry and stress to keep going, a need to check on her.
Then, it finally came, Kiwi's house came into view.
Utena slumped against a fence, falling to the ground, and tried to catch her breath. Several minutes spent there, just waiting to get the energy to stand again, and cover the last distance to the front door.
She pulled out her phone from her pocket, the only thing she took with her, it was now just past midnight. She should've been asleep long ago, maybe she should have just tried harder to go back to sleep instead of trying to come here… but no, it was too late to just casually turn back now.
She had exerted herself so heavily, running this much would have been much easier if she had just transformed to do it… or just used a portal…
Though it was too late for any of that too, should have thought of that much earlier. She felt her heartbeat slow, her breath became smoother, the cold gradually left her lungs, her calves became tingly as feeling returned to them, and she braced herself to get back up on her feet in just a moment.
As sensations returned to her legs, and Utena noticed something wrong, a pang of pain on the sole of her foot. She looked down, a little dark stain on the bottom of her sock, it was too dark to discern its color in the darkness of the night, but as she peeled it back, it became obvious. She had cut her foot on something a while back, and simply didn't notice due to the numbness of her legs while running.
With just enough energy regained, Utena got up again, shifting her weight onto her uninjured foot, and started to close the final distance to the front door.
Wake.
Shaky breath.
Heavy heartbeat.
Utena sat up in her bed, it was early in the morning, a soft wind blew outside, birds were chirping, everything seemed well.
"... a dream?"
"Thank god…"
"What's wrong with me, dreaming something like that?"
"Didn't I wanna be a hero?"
"Aren't heroes supposed to save people?"
"..."
Utena was hardly sure what to think anymore after that, a realization, the enemies were middle schoolers, like herself… Kiwi… how would her parents react? Heck, if Utena herself died as a Magical Girl, how would her own parents receive the news? If ever? There was so much to think about now, and it was made worse when -
"Mornin' Utena!"
The girl snapped her head in the direction she heard her name from, and the white-and-pink creature from her dream appeared, blending in admirably well with all her other plushies.
"Good hustle yesterday! You're a natural with that lasso of yours, I doubt Enormita will be recovering from that loss anytime soon! Shame you ran off after our victory, did you get stage fright? There were a lot of people watching, I get that you're not the social type but…"
Vatz' voice faded out, Utena wanted to scream at the revelation that the dream was in fact reality, that her classmate died to her Hero, but she couldn't, she couldn't find the will to do anything but zone out, to wallow in her situation, struggling to find the voice to say anything.
It felt like the world Utena grew up with was crumpled like the hood of a car, crashing into reality, Magical Girls were meant to kill Witches, this was always true, but now behind hit so abruptly that they were indeed humans, people her age, people she knew personally, it suddenly felt like this admiration… was cursed.
Vatz seemed to notice Utena zoning out, she floated up to her face and waved a few times, though Utena didn't notice it immediately, up until the voice of her mom came through the door.
"Utena-chan! Are you awake? Today's a school day y'know!"
… Looks like Utena still has to go through with today, instead of moping on her bed. Vatz said her goodbye, leaving Utena by herself to get ready for the day, she willed up the strength to get out of bed, not-at-all acknowledging whatever Vatz probably said, and started getting ready for the day.
She sauntered up to the front door of Kiwi's house, walking with a slight limp, weight pressed on her uninjured foot, trying not to elicit any pain from the medium gash in the other, she came underneath the awning, escaping the mild wind behind her, she approached the door, and almost rang the doorbell, though remembering the time of night, she instead elected to take out her phone again and try texting instead of waking the other people that were probably in that place.
'hey kiwi'
'are you awake?'
'i can't sleep'
'can i stay at your place?'
'i'm outside right now'
The texts were sent, and now all Utena could do was wait around awkwardly outside. Take in the sounds, rustling grass and tree leaves, low howling of the breeze, wind chimes from some other house a short distance down, it seemed so peaceful, nothing worrying going on, the tranquility a far cry from the chaos of yesterday.
Utena paced around slightly, scratched at her arm, looked around, observed some pinwheels rotating slowly with the wind at the house across the street, hoping she could somehow wait a little faster. She was this far, at least, Kiwi should open the door any second now, everything will be okay…
… then it happened, Utena heard a little shuffling behind her, she turned back to the door, and in just a few moments, two metallic clunks were heard, and the door creaked open.
"Uweeh… Utena-chuwaaan… whatcha doin' up this late?"
There she was, Kiwi was here, all fine and dandy, happy and healthy, safe and sound, head firmly on shoulders. Donned only in panties and T-Shirt, Utena probably would've been flustered with Kiwi's lack of clothing in another time, but not now, it hardly mattered, it was confirmed that all was well in the world.
With that, it felt like all energy drained from Utena instantly, but somehow, in a good way, immediately feeling at peace, she felt she could rest well now, now that she had gone all this way just to check on her friend over a nightmare, she could be made fun of for this, her, an evil villain, having a bad dream about being a hero, but for now, she was just happy Kiwi was okay.
Utena came forward a short distance, trying to come into the house, but drowsiness coming in, she ended up leaning against the doorway, her eyelids feeling heavy, wanting to close to go to sleep, and soon slumped back onto the ground, Kiwi quickly took notice of her friend's status, and swiftly kneeled on the ground on front of her.
"Oi, Utena! Are you Okay?!"
Kiwi got real close to her on the ground, and started saying things to her, Utena couldn't hear most of it, her head felt heavy with the sleepiness doing it's best to put her to rest, but she could tell Kiwi noticed her slightly bloody foot, and she approached Utena to pick her up off the ground and carry her off, closing the front door behind her.
Kiwi brought her to the bathroom, briefly leaned Utena on the sink counter, quickly brought the top toilet seat down, and swiveled around to plant her down, merely using it as a chair for the moment. Utena did her best to simply go along with it, Kiwi seemed to be putting aside her lovey-dovey overly attached nature to simply take care of her.
The medicine cabinet popped open, softly clanged into the mirror, before being swiftly elbowed shut again after Kiwi retrieved what she needed.
She knelt down in front of Utena and pulled off the stained and torn sock, and pulled out a big band-aide, which Utena noticed, had a Magical Girl image printed onto it… it wasn't Tres Magia, but it was certainly another popular trio, she wanted to ask Kiwi why she had something like that, but failed to exert enough breath to manage more than a little groan.
Kiwi seemed to notice the little bruise on her forehead as well, and went ahead and… put another band-aide on it too… probably not-at-all useful, but Utena mused at Kiwi trying her best to play doctor, she even gave her a little peck on the band-aide, and said something about how love will make it heal faster.
Utena huffed at the remark, not having enough breath to manage a giggle, but still managing to grin at her. Kiwi came close again, gave her a hug, then quickly moved to her side to lift her again, now on the move again to somewhere else, Kiwi went a short ways down a hallway, then turned to open a door with her free hand, and what came into view was the bedroom.
Kiwi brought her over, and laid Utena down to rest, the moment the blankets covered her, she felt herself instantly drift into unconsciousness, she felt someone, probably Kiwi, shuffle around under the covers up close to her, but by then, Utena was already asleep, drifting into warm comfort.
School seemed impossibly mundane after yesterday, she already had thoughts of just chucking her transformation heart into a river and forgetting about being a Magical Girl entirely.
She glanced over at the patch of flowers she takes care of each day, the multi-coloured arrangement of Pink, Blue, and Yellow, representing the three members of Tres Magia, of course she wouldn't admit this to anyone, she would burst into flames from the embarrassment of revealing how much of an Otaku she really was, it was just a happy little accident.
… but right now, the flowers only made her uncomfortable, so she decided to leave them, just for today… they'll be fine, probably. Thoughts of being a hero with the other three made her heart sink into her stomach, she felt so shameful, maybe she should have just faked being sick so she could hide under her blankets all day.
Class felt like a bit of a prison, though her sentence was really only for the handful of hours it lasted in the day. Utena only froze in place each class, instantly zoning out to allow the events to replay in her mind, the first class of the day, Utena noticed Kiwi's desk was empty, the teacher and some students commented something about it, but she paid them no mind, she already knew the reason for it.
Utena felt trapped, was she going to continue fighting alongside the other three like this? Were there going to be more empty desks in her class? It suddenly felt more like she was a soldier drafted for a war, rather than being a part of the stories she grew up on, she could never bring herself to actually kill someone... and she too was at risk of being killed too, right? But what is she supposed to do about this? She felt powerless despite awakening her magic power the previous day.
'What am I supposed to do…?'
'Where do I go from here…?'
'Why am I…'
'...'
Wake.
Steady breath.
Slow heartbeat.
Utena forced her eyes open, she still felt quite groggy, the air was somewhat cold in the room, the window cracked open, the light coming in a pale blue, the sky was lit up with the light of a sun that was still some distance below the horizon, it'll be morning soon.
She could not will herself up into a sitting position, so she craned her head around as best she could from her lying position. The warmth of doubled-up fluffy blankets and Kiwi hugging her close was too precious to leave for even a moment, she spotted Kiwi's alarm clock, it was almost 5 AM, she should probably sleep a little longer.
… but she didn't want to, Utena wanted to stay conscious, to enjoy all the time immersed in this infinite comfort, secretly hoping this would never end, though to her disappointment, the alarm clock continued to tick the minutes by, as it should have been doing, though it still annoyed her, each number that passed by was another minute closer to having to get up and do something.
There was a calendar somewhere in the room, but she couldn't read it due to the darkness. Having forgotten the specific day, she hoped it was the weekend, but quite likely, it was not.
The sky only became more luminous, soon the clouds turned purple, the orange warmth of the sun slowly climbed over, casting it's shine unto the undersides of the clouds and the roofs of the other buildings that Kiwi's house overlooked, the wind picked up, rustling the grass and leaves, the wind chimes could be heard again, their location still not known, it's the most peaceful scene Utena could have imagined. All the previous events faded away, the Ugliest Flower and the pain she caused with it, the dream she had sending her into a panic, now everything was still, all was well, relief in warmth, complete solace.
The calendar became readable with the added light, today was Friday, a school day. Utena sighed, any moment, the alarm clock was gonna go off, she didn't know exactly when it was gonna go off, but it was probably soon. She tried to stretch her arm out over Kiwi to reach the device, but as the blanket moved off her and Kiwi was stirred slightly, she quickly abandoned that plan.
It hit 5:30, and the alarm clock started its song, Kiwi groaned, and shuffled under the sheets, stretching her torso in the general direction of the noise, and flopped her arm around on the nightstand several times before successfully striking the button that ceases the sound, then she sat up and rubbed her eyes, and opened them.
"Mmmpphggghhh... Uweeehhh... Uteenaa-chaaaahnn... how're yeh doin' raaiight naaow?"
Ahhh well… that's it then. Kiwi is awake now. Guess we have to prepare to go to school...
…
At least everything's okay at the moment…
Tomorrow, for sure, we'll figure out what to do next, there are still things that need to happen soon.
But for now, though…
Just a normal day is perfectly fine for Utena.