Work Text:
Jason knew that Dick was really busy, but it kinda stung that his big brother didn’t even tell him that he got married. That was supposed to be a big deal for adults, right? They were supposed to have a big wedding and spend months looking sappily into each others’ eyes and wear wedding rings and stuff. Dick and Wally didn’t do any of that, and it was seriously weird. They were meant to be husbands, but they acted more like friends instead. Best friends, sure, but still friends. Did they not like each other anymore? It would be really sad if they got divorced when they’d only been married for like six months.
Jason might not have known much about love, but he had read a lot of romance novels, which was basically the same thing. He could totally make Dick and Wally fall in love again! Plus, if he helped save his marriage, Dick would have to like him more. It would be a win-win situation!
It wouldn’t be easy, but Jason wasn’t Robin for nothing. He could deal with tricky situations, especially if it was in the name of love.
Jane Austen once wrote, “Perhaps it is our imperfections that make us so perfect for one another.”
Dick was pretty damn imperfect, so that meant him and Wally had to be soulmates! He just had to help them see that.
Considering how Jason had been avoiding him like the plague for months, it was pretty damn suspicious that he was suddenly acting like Dick’s best friend. It was even more suspicious that he was suddenly very interested in Dick’s best friend and sorta-kinda-husband Wally.
Jason was pretty obsessed with the old-timey romance novels he borrowed from Bruce’s library, and he was getting to the age where people started taking an interest in romance, so Dick supposed it wasn’t too surprising.
After the fifteenth time Jason tried to ask about Wally, Dick caved. He had to tell Jason the truth. He couldn’t live with the boy’s prodding and poking any longer.
“So… why did you and Wally get married?” Jason asked.
Dick took an agonising breath. “Jason, do you know what a next of kin is?”
Jason hesitated, his eyebrow furrowing. “Next of kin? Like… your family and stuff?”
“Sort of. A next of kin has legal responsibility for you, if something was to go terribly wrong. So, if you were badly hurt, Bruce would be able to make decisions about what the doctors would do to help you. Make sense?”
“Yeah? I don’t get what that’s gotta do with this, though…”
God, this was such a difficult thing to explain to a kid.
“Long story very short, Wally’s biological father is a piece of shit,” Dick explained. “We were on a mission together last year, and Wally was badly hurt. Like… hospitalised hurt. The League couldn’t do anything to treat him without his father’s permission, and Rudy just kept refusing. Barry had to threaten him to make him sign the permission papers.”
Dick winced at the memory. “It was such a fucking mess. Barry was inconsolable, and when Wally finally woke up, he had a breakdown. No one had realised how bad things were with the Wests until then.”
“So you… married him?” Jason mumbled.
“Platonically, yes. We were already best friends, and it gave Wally a new next of kin. Rudy doesn’t get to make any of those decisions for Wally anymore.”
Jason looked gutted. “So you don’t love him? At all? Not even a little bit?”
Dick desperately tried to hide his blush. “The way I feel doesn’t matter. We married for Wally’s sake; I don’t want to… complicate things.”
“But if you don’t ask, how are you ever gonna know if he likes you back or if you’re just friends?!” Jason exclaimed. This hadn’t been in any of his romance novels!
“I’m alright with just friends,” Dick said, “and I don’t want to ruin things if that’s all he wants.”
“God, you’re seriously pining for this guy! In books, this would be the part where you realise that you love him and you make a grand love confession and then you guys fall in love forever and get married and have two kids and a dog.”
“What kinds of romance novels have you been reading?” Dick asked.
“Not important! Now go make the grand love confession! Go on, do it! You’re already married, so you’re like a fifth of the way there.”
Jason looked at Dick expectantly, until Dick groaned and begrudgingly pulled out his phone. Showing the screen so that Jason could see he was tapping Wally’s contact, Dick dialed Wally’s number.
“Hey… can we talk…?” Dick asked.
He could hear Wally moving around on the other end of the line. “Yeah, what’s up? Want me to zip over?”
… this would be easier in person.
“If you can,” Dick said.
“Alrighty! See you in a few!”
“If he rejects me, I’m blaming you,” Dick grumbled, desperately trying to figure out what to say. God, how do you even have this sort of conversation?
Jason stuck his tongue out. “You guys needed to talk. Now you’re talking.”
Wally zipped into the manor in a blur, screeching to a halt in front of Dick. “Hey, what’s up?”
Dick was about to say some expertly crafted response, that would perfectly capture exactly how he was feeling, when Jason leaned in and said, “Dick has a crush on you!”
Well, there went the carefully crafted reply that he totally had up his sleeve.
“Jason!”
“What?! I’m just being honest!”
Wally went quiet. Dick wanted the ground to swallow him whole. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same. I don’t expect you to-”
“Dude… we’re married. You having a crush on me is about what I expected,” Wally admitted.
“…really?”
“I don’t think people just… go around offering to marry people they’re just friends with,” Wally retorted.
“So… husbands?”
Wally zipped forward to give Dick a kiss on the cheek, and beside them, Jason was grinning from ear to ear. His plan had been a resounding success.