Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Mike doesn’t know what to think, or do really. The people may think that he’s smart, and a leader but that’s not true. Every “Brave” thing he’s ever done was a product of adrenaline and impulsiveness. Truth is, he’s a coward. Micheal Wheeler is a coward, always has been. People may point to those actions he explained earlier but there are much more things he’s been scared about. 

He wrote about a thousand letters he will never send. ( It’s actually 57 but who’s counting?) There is a shoe box and a half in his closet packed full of them, each filled to the brim with feelings that he will never let pass his lips. Spill out on a page however? Mike’s motto is think it freely, write it down, lips sealed. He called Will so many times but never got an answer, so he never tried again. He ignored Will’s birthday because he was scared of his traitorous feelings. He didn’t even hug him at the airport! For what dumb reason! Because he was scared that touching Will would make it real.

That holding Will in his arms for the first time since he moved, since he didn’t feel anything but disappointment when El kissed him, when Will’s touch sent shocks through his body, that his fingers gracing Will’s back would make it real that he loved him. Before that, he could hide behind El, like a coward-. Every time he checked Will’s out could be chalked up to just thinking he looked handsome like you do an actor on TV, just a simple observation. Every lingering touch or stare could be blown off as just wanting to make sure Will knew he was paying attention even when Mike still didn’t hear half of what Will said because he was distracted, by Will’s lips but whatever- . Every buzz of excitement, every blush of the cheeks, every inch of yearning to be held.

 It all could have been ignored until he wrote it down and shoved it into a box to gain dust. Then Cali happened.

Mike wanted to hide behind El again, force himself to feel those feelings he read in books but he just couldn’t. He only felt those things with Will. For fucks sake! He argued with Will just so that way he could be mad instead of guilty! He checked a guy out right in front of his girlfriend! When Will forced his attention back to him with the finger brushing against his neck? He almost started panting like a damn dog . You might as well just write “TWIG” in magic marker and glitter glue across his forehead because he stopped being subtle when he stared at Will’s lips when he was saying Mike’s girlfriend still needed him. 

When he felt that pang of disappointment that the painting was commissioned by El and not Will? Mike knew he was done for. Course it was all forgotten in the whirlwind of defeating Vecna and destroying the Upside down but now? When everything is over and done with, things are just being repaired. It’s starting to feel really pressing, like a tie that's progressively getting tighter around his neck. Now that tie is strangling him because El broke up with him so he has nothing to hide behind. Mike is glad for El, for her finally getting away from the clusterfuck that is him and finding herself but this has to be the most inopportune time for him personally to do that.

Now people are asking about it, they are worried. I mean they always were because all his interactions with his father end with him shaking his head and saying “that boy ain’t right.”  But It’s even worse now than before because people are actually paying attention to Mike! Not just observing and commenting. It’s the worst! Mike stayed steely during the take over, only crying alone or with the party, and even with the party it was a few tears at most. Now those people are going up to him and patting him on the back, saying “You can let down your guard with us. “ Or. “You don’t have to be strong.”

Hell, Fucking Max, Number 1 hater and president of the Mike Wheeler sucks club. The person who almost died to Vecna and got disabled from it, said to him. “You can talk to me, loser. I’ll try not to make too much fun of you.” Max said that! If she didn’t elbow him in the gut right after he would have thought it was an imposter or something. Mike doesn't know what his friends have been smoking but he clearly needs it. 

After Eddie died, Nancy was all big sister to Dustin, which she never was to Mike so that made him a bit sad. But you know what Mike does when things get taken away from him? He writes it down and lets it gain dust while it rots in his head. So it came as a surprise that, when Dustin dropped that he was close with Eddie too. Which he thought should have been obvious but whatever.  Nancy immediately started fussing over him.  May he repeat that she’s never been all big sister to him? Because that was fucking weird and when he mentioned it she teared up and said she was sorry. What does she have to apologize for! Not all of us can be Jonathan Byers, Mike accepted that a long time ago so he feels really awkward now that Nancy is acting like an older sister and not treating him like a constant inconvenience.

Also Steve keeps checking in on him for inane reasons! Like sure, a demodog got him and almost bit his arm off so there's this huge ugly scar there. Another reason to hate himself-. But he’s fine!  It’s in the past and he lived! He doesn’t need to be watched like a child! He knows Steve thinks of the party has his children but Mike hasn’t gone through all that much. He doesn’t need the extra attention like Will or El, he didn’t see Eddie die, he didn’t have to double cross and lose his girlfriend like Lucas. He mens, he did, but it’s not the same. Mike’s fine, and he told Steve has much. Which garnered a similar reaction as Nancy, this time a hug and a head pressed to his hair while he said “It’s okay.” 

It doesn’t even stop at the adults! Lucas kept eyes on him since he tried to sacrifice himself for the party and got his eye scratched making him even more useless in the field. The entire party got mad after that and started yelling at him so he told them the truth! He is less valuable than them. Anybody can be the leader and say a few words here and there and get the part motivated, anybody can make the “hard” decisions he’s been making, anybody can come up with strategies and put together groups that are the most optimal for each task, anybody can figure out that the Demobat’s seemed to run on a schedule that he figured out matched with the guard schedule of Brenner’s lab and the Demodog’s ran on the scientist schedule so there was overlap where they would be and where they wouldn’t be. Anyone could do that, They could do it better than him!

Which made Lucas stare at him in disbelief with a quiet “... Mike .” Then Dustin just had to drop that he jumped off the quarry for him which got them more worried! Now they won’t leave him alone! When they pass by the quarry they start to watch him like a hawk and someone always gets in between the quarry and him. It makes him kinda sad because he likes the blue of the quarry and wishes he could get a closer look. That made the party’s face screw up so he most likely shouldn’t have mentioned that. 

The fucking snitches also spread that around so now Steve in constantly on him and watching him, saying that maybe one day he could take the party to the beach so they could watch the water in a safer space. Then he side eyed him so that sucked. Mike’s also pretty sure that Nancy opens his door sometimes to check if he’s there. So he knows they told Nancy! Now he knows how Will feels. Oh! Speaking of Will, he’s the worst of them all, which is bad for his heart because now he has a pretty boy checking in on him 24/7 365. 

Will never leaves him alone even for a minute. Breakfast? He’s there. School? He’s there. Grocery run? He’s there. A nap? He’s there. Fucking family dinner? Will Byers is there! Mike’s pretty sure someone let something slip to mom because she doesn’t kick him out and sometimes looks at him sadly and also likes to check up on him, so that's great , thanks for that, to whoever told her.

Also Will slept on his floor. Mike cannot deal with this. Now with everyone and their moms looking after him like the moment they take their eyes off him he’s gonna be jumping off ledges. It sucks, though he has to give this babying a small, begrudging, thanks because it helped fix his relationship with Will. Before it was strained and like it was barely hanging on by a thread. Mike would put it like his friendship with Will is a Braid. Sturdy, tough, and strong as long as the strings stay intertwined as they are better together. Then Mike had to panic and date El after the upside down happened, then he had to be so fucking scared, then he started to distant himself and Will followed suit, So his string got frayed.

With this who “let’s all pay as much attention to Mike as much as possible.” thing. Will didn’t let Mike fall away, he forced himself into Mike’s space as much as possible. Which did wonders for their relationship after they got past the awkwardness. He loves giggling like a schoolgirl with Will over stupid shit. He loves leaning over Will’s shoulder and watching him draw. He loves when Will will force Mike’s eyes to him and ask him things. (So what if he likes Will being dominant a bit too much.) He loves being close with Will again even if it makes his heart beat like a squirrel on cocaine.

So it’s not all bad but it still sucks . Like today for example. Mike woke up with Will’s hand wrapped around his wrist, which wasn’t bad at all even if it was so Mike couldn’t sneak off and out, which admittedly, he is known to do. Still, a pretty boy’s hand on his wrist! So it started off pretty great. Then he came down stairs with Will and his mom made them breakfast which was a new thing since she hasn’t done that since he was in 8th grade. Nancy then kept looking at him and took them to school, which is another new thing since they would usually ride their bikes but apparently they don’t want that anymore! God, it’s like they think Mike will run off, which they are currently being proven right but we aren’t there yet.

Once he and Will got to school, also side note, by god is he happy he has no classes with the party except chemistry because the perks of taking all AP classes means he gets a moment alone for once. Anyways, they met up with the party and they all gave him those sad cow eyes again. Sure the conversation was normal, just talking about ghostbusters, but then would keep side eyeing him and making comments about the ghostbusters being there for eachother. Finally  Will  walked him to class despite his class being on the other side of the campus.

Then he got his blessed moments of peace. Nobody looking at Mike like he is a kicked dog. He never thought he would say this, but he honestly prefers parabolas over the party, not so subtly,  nudging him into a breakdown. Though his peace was shortly coming to an end with one class before lunch when the cycle would repeat again, he couldn’t take it. 

He couldn’t take El whispering soft “friends don’t lie” whenever he says he’s fine. He couldn’t take Dustin looking at him like he was constantly biting back something to say. He couldn’t take Lucas saying that he’s “strong”  and he can protect. “All of the party.” then looking at Mike before darting his eyes away. He couldn’t take Max toning down her insults again. He couldn’t take Will’s sympathy rubs and glances. He couldn’t take another 30 minutes saying. “I’m fine, I know it’s hard to believe me but I'm alright.” Then them looking at him like that, that stupid pitying look. He couldn’t take hushed whispers behind his back.

So he ran, he proved them right that they couldn’t leave him alone. Mike raised his hand, with a forced look of calmness, then he left. Not just class, the whole school. He walked right through the doors, leaving his bag behind and he kept walking until the highschool was nothing but a speck in the distance. He almost went to Hawkins middle school but he decided against it, it felt too obvious, so he kept walking. Mike almost went home but he remembered Nancy was there, and he thinks Jonathan also, and because he just left school to not deal with the pary’s pitying he’s not gonna get more from home,  so he walked right past his house. He kept walking and walking, almost on autopilot. 

Stumbling over rocks but having to shift around people with a blank stare, it felt like he had tunnel vision. Mike heard people murmuring behind him but he couldn’t be bothered. He had one thought on his mind. “Away, alone, Away, alone.” On repeat. He kept walking until the town was a couple feet behind him, his legs ached but he didn’t care. Mike kept moving past trees and walking into branches, seeing them but can’t bring himself to move them.

Which brings him here, the quarry, completely and totally alone. It’s funny, he almost walked right off the edge accidentally because he didn’t see it. Now he is just sitting, feet dangling over the sides. Absently tossing pebbles while thinking. He’s pretty sure he has 5 minutes until class ends, but who knows? He doesn’t have a watch. He does know that when lunch starts, then the party will wait 15 minutes max until they run out and start to search for him. Clingy bunch. 

Mike takes a deep breath, feeling his chest rise with heavy air, and exhales what feels like ash and lead. Every breath he takes feels like weight and poison, he feels like poison. He feels heavy and sickly. He looks at himself, and his ugly scarred hands and feels wrong. He looks at the mirror and sees how thin he is and forces himself to look away because it’s strange. He catches himself looking at Will and wants to blind his other eye. He hears his father talking about “Them gays.” during dinner and he can’t help but sink into his seat because he is one.

Whenever the party touches him he wants to throw himself backwards and away because they don’t know what they are touching. They don’t know how disgusting he is. Will wouldn’t be so casual with his touches if he did. They think they can help him, but Mike’s too far gone. Mike is the fucking worst. They are spending all their time on him, probably looking for him now, and he is making them cry, making them worry, making them hurt . Mike just wants to help them, he just wants to comfort them, but because of how -how queer he is. He is making things harder for them. He is practically leaving them out to bleed! 

Mike is leaving them to bleed, because he isn’t telling them what he is. He knows that if they knew they would leave him, he’s sure of it. He’s wasting their time and energy. That precious resource that they are wasting on him when ,if he just told them, they would be so much happier. They wouldn’t care about him, as they should, but he just can’t bring himself to do so. He doesn’t want to have them leave him. He doesn’t want to lose them. He doesn’t want to be alone. Because Mike is a coward and selfish, he won’t tell them how wrong he is, and he’s letting them worry themselves over someone so sick.

Mike constantly feels like he’s grinding his teeth together so he doesn’t let this filth spill from his mouth. He is terrified, by himself and what he feels but at the same time. He should be checking out girls but Will looks so good in yellow. Mike should be blushing at girls but when he sees Will grin at him he goes tomato red. He should want to be all powerful and dominant, but when Will grabs him by the chin and makes him answer if he feels okay, it makes him feel so nice and cared for. 

Which makes him think If he feels that spark of warmth that is in all the movies with Will then it can't be that bad. But it has to be because that’s all he has ever heard. If it wasn’t dirty then he’d see more gay couples. If it wasn’t wrong then his father wouldn’t always be talking about it. If it- if Mike wasn’t bad then he shouldn’t feel like this, feel so ashamed of loving boys. It has to be bad. So Mike never stops feeling guilty, and Mike never lets the words come out his throat. He lets them clog his vocal cords, and tangle in his air ways every time he sees Will in those high waisted shorts. Finally, he lets them flow past his fingertips onto paper that will be left to decay in a shoe box.

Even if he is so dirty, he still hopes Will is happy, he still tries to make Will happy even if Mike knows what he is and should probably leave Will alone. He can’t help it, he just wants to hear Will laugh. He wants to be the one to make him laugh. He wants to see him grin. He wants to be Will’s favorite boy even if it’s wrong. Mike knows they can’t fit together the way he want to, because Will isn’t dirty. Hell, Mike thinks if Will did like boys he wouldn’t even be dirty then because Will is such a good person. Will is light, he’s Mike’s light. It’s always so easy to be with Will, not like it was with Eleven. He always felt like he had to be the model boyfriend because despite her knowing more about the world she still didn’t know everything. She was always looking at him for answers so he had to. 

Will never expected that of him. Also, it helps that there is no one more beautiful than Will in this world. Mike would be content in just being Will’s best friend forever because even just standing next to him makes his heart melt. He hopes he makes Will feel that same contentment. Though Mike still longs to be Will’s number one, he wants to be Will's biggest fan. Most of all, Mike wants Will to be happy, that’s all he wants. God, he’s dreadful.

Mike falls back, letting his back hit hard rocks while keeping his feet over the edge. What? He likes the slight weightless feeling, sue him! He listens to distinct sounds of angry waves crashing on rocks  and can’t help but think that if he fell. W-would it be instant? Or would he drown? Would he be alive for just a few seconds with all his bones broken and lungs punctured, forced to watch the sky blacken? Forced to feel the water warm with his own blood, will it turn red or will it be diluted by the water around him? How long would it take to fall? It felt pretty quick when he did it the first time but slow at the same time.

Mike’s always been analytical so he can’t help but do the math in his head.  He knows that the quarry’s fall is steeper than the tower bridge in London, which is 213 off the ground if he remembers right. He might not be considering it was 6th grade science and he was more concerned with dodging spit balls and slurs from Troy and not how tall the fucking quarry is. Mike wishes he paid a bit more attention.  

He knows, technically, any fall from any height can kill you. Hell, he threw it back at Lucas when he said that he would never survive a fall from the quarry because of how steep it was and what the hell was he thinking! When Dustin first told them about him taking a swan dive off the quarry. Mike spat back, sick of being lectured over something that happened four years ago and he was helping Dustin! What don’t you understand? He said. “And I can die from tripping and hitting my head! It’s not that special! Watch, if I fall back right now I’ll probably crack my head open and die.” Then he stumbled on accident and Will’s hand darted out and pulled him into his lap. The fall made the party yell at him more but he was too distracted by Will to really listen.

Admitally, he probably shouldn’t have said that since Lucas still dives to catch him when he trips and the party tenses up. So that is so… fun. Anyways, Mike remembers falling and thinking that he would kill for one more summer smile from Will before getting the air knocked out of him by El catching him. Mike also remembers thinking that he’ll definitely see Will in heaven. Mike thought that he’d get on his hands and knees and beg and plead for Will to forgive him from not saving him.  Now Mike thinks he’ll go to super hell and he’d never see any of his friends again if he fell. 

Geez, Mike almost wants to get up and apologize to Will right now for every horrible thing he’s ever done, and for what he is. But it’s so comfortable here, and he’s so tired. Mike is ripped at every edge, torn and spread far far to thin. Mike can’t help but think of something he’s seen in a book once. Some guy wrote everything he wanted to do before he died, like a bucket list almost, and he had like leukemia or something. 

It was all normal things, “Before I die I want to skydive, I want to see a giraffe, I want to live in London, play the piano, speak french.” Then one that hit for Mike was. “I want to be a better dad than mine. “God that hit hard, he doesn’t think he could ever be a dad. Number one is he is a fucking queer. Mike actually raised a limp arm up and pointed at himself while thinking that, he is so embarrassing. Seriously though, number two is if he ever had a kid, he’s scared he will be just like Ted. He’s scared that he will just sit on the couch and read the newspaper, not saying anything and being so absent in their lives he might as well be a lamp in the corner.

Mike sniffs, feeling his eyes wet. No, no. He will not cry right now, let’s get back to before. Mike hums, thinking. Before he dies, he wants to what? It doesn’t have to be dead serious, Ha! Get it? Dead. Anyways, before he dies he wants to… play guitar like Queen or Billy Joel. Yeah, he wants to get better at playing guitar. Then he starts to get deeper, because thinking of guitar always does that. It makes him think of the person who taught him how to play guitar. It makes him think of Eddie Munson, it makes him think of how he never got to finish highschool, it makes him think of how ill fitting Mike is, of how much of a bad replacement he is.

Because that’s what he is, a replacement. He is the new DM for Hellfire and despite the fact he always gets compliments for his campaigns and his showmanship of them, he always feels like he will never live up to the curly haired teen who came before him. Mike frowns, adding another thing. Before he dies he wants to be a person Eddie Munson could be proud of. He wants to count for something, and Eddie always counted for him. He was always in his corner, always had an ear out for him. He misses him. So yes, he wants to be a person Eddie could be proud of.

That leads to this, what would Eddie be proud of? Certainly not him now, Mike scoffs, he is a fucking right sad sack. Would Eddie be proud of someone happier? Eddie always seemed vibrant, full of life, every color of the rainbow. Meanwhile, Mike is just blue. Blue like his jeans, his blankets, the sky, and the quarry. He can be earnest, sure, but vibrant? Reassuring? No, he can’t. His saturation is leaving him as he sits here. He’ll have to work on that, but he’s so tired and so cold.

So, if Mike can’t be warm and colorful like Eddie, he can be bright. Mike can never be the greens, yellows, purples and reds Munson portrayed so wonderfully but he can surely be the brightest fucking blue to ever grace this spinning rock we call earth. He can’t be ultraviolet like Eddie, but he can be blue and his party can fill in the rest. Max can be his red, and El his purple, with Lucas and Dustin being Green and orange respectively. Finally Will, his yellow. He can have the rainbow, all he needs to be is the brightest, most eye burning, blue they have ever seen in their entire lives. Mike will force Hellfire to be the brightest place in that damn school if he has to. Before Mike dies, he wants to be the brightest blue in the rainbow. Even if ,currently, he’s the weakest shade of blue.

Yes, that is a lovely goal, more fitting for someone better than him. Mike hums, thinking. Lovely is a good word, an amazing word that should be used more often. The way his tongue fits to make the word, the way his mouth rolls smoothly to let it out. The difference in sounds and vowels makes it sound so nice. 

Will’s lovely, Mike decides, he’s the lovely-est person he’s ever seen in his entire life. The brightest Yellow in the pack.  Mike frowns, he always fucking does this. Thinking of something, then it comes back to Will. Like a cycle.  It’s always words with him too, since he is a writer, or at least he was before the upside down. Now when he writes, he can’t bring himself to show anything unless it’s for campaigns. So maybe the writing part of him is over, but he doesn't want to think he’s reached that expiration date. 

He sits up, gripping his pant legs, looking over the quarry and into the woods at the end of it. After all, isn’t he to decide when he puts the pen down? Doesn’t he have the time to think if he wants to? He has lived far too long with people deciding for him. People and things shoving him into situations that he has to fight to survive and protect in. He won’t, he will not, let the universe take this from him. He decides when he finishes writing for good, and so what when he writes and he thinks, and he sees so many lovely words, he thinks of Will? Who decided that being queer was wrong? Who decided that he was dirty for it? Who decided that when he wrote the word “symphony” he thought of Will walking in the sun? 

Mike bets they never saw Will holding up the universe like he did for 5 years. They don’t deserve to think that, Mike doesn’t even deserve to think about Will and he’s been his best friend for years! So what if Mike is a dirty, disgusting, queer? Maybe Will deserves to be loved and adored even by the likes of him. He digs his nails into his pants, feeling them press into flesh under the dense fabric and lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Mike was always sensitive, it’s another thing Ted hates about him. He felt things too much, he worried too much, he wanted to protect and he loved too hard. He was always “Too” something, he always asked too many questions. He vividly remembers Ted telling him .”You always have something to say, but nothing to be proud of when speaking.” Mike got quiet around his father after that. Worst part about this, was his dad told him this after visiting a family member who died in the hospital. He asked about death and that’s all he got. Now look at him, Death aficionado over here. 

The family member died in their sleep, “A human way to go.” He heard. Mike wonders if you could even die humanly, as dying seems cruel in itself but he bets it feels peaceful. That moment you close your eyes for the last time, the moment the black coats your vision, the moment you realize you don’t have to worry because you’ll be dead, the moment you hit the water- Mike bet’s death is blue.

Warm, nice, blue, fulfilling and like coming home. His eyes can’t help but dart down, and the water is…. bright . It’s violent for sure, but it’s so bright, like it’s welcoming him. Mike thinks his blood will be soaked up by it, just leaving him to look like he’s sleeping. Mike shakes his head, letting his hair hit his cheeks. He can’t be thinking of that right now, with his feet hanging off the edge.

Still, he can’t help but wonder. He’s always wondering, always curious, but he’s such a damn coward he never follows through. Mike is always too scared of hurting someone, of breaking something, of finding something he doesn't want to know. Now however, he hears a wave slap against the wall, he bites his lip. He could be brave, he could show that trait mark impulsiveness that he is known for. 

Unknowingly, his back arches forward and he leans towards the sky a bit. He wonders if he somehow did fall, would it be beautiful? Like something out of a movie. When the main character dives and their body arches with their head down towards the ground and feet up like a “C”. What would happen? Would anything change? People would worry obviously, and they would be sad. But they would get over it, wouldn’t they? It wouldn’t matter in the long scheme of things, everything has a shelf life. Maybe this is his way of keeping his writing in his control, of keeping himself in his control. Mike is so tired, and so faded. He’s done so much, and he’s so wrong, doesn’t he deserve this? His eyes darted down once more, this time they stayed down for a few seconds. 

Maybe-

“Mike?”

Chapter Text

Mike’s head snapped up, neck swinging towards the voice automatically despite already knowing who it was. After all, he’s heard that voice every day of his life since he was 5. He knows that warm inflection like he knows the back of his hand. Low and behold, to no one's surprise, it’s William “Will” Byers. Dressed in his trademark yellow Polo and bowl cut. Though, the face Will has makes his heart clench. He looks pale and clammy, his hands are shaking, his eyes are terrified and kinda wet. It reminds Mike of when he was possessed by The Mind Flayer.

He hated that, he hated when Will was possessed.  Like, obviously he did. Why wouldn’t Mike hate that his best friend was possessed by a creepy flesh thing from another dimension, but at the same time he can’t help but have a bit of fondness for it. Sure, he was scared and worried out of his wits for Will. Constantly with him and sleeping by his side, he still has the lyrics to “should I stay or should I go” memorized because of how often he sang it. Mike legitimately thought he was going to lose Will to himself, at first, then later The Mind Flayer. So yeah, he was absolutely scared and loathed it.

But then again, that was the most time he got to spend with Will in ages. When he was allowed to spend time with Will without being called gay. Well, gayer than what Troy called them all the time because Mike is pretty sure it’s the only insult Troy could think of that wasn’t a slur. He remembers holding and soothing Will, he remembers blushing and not being called a queer. He remembers comfort, comforting. He remembers being able to have an attachment problem with Will and be a clingy fuck while not being disgusting. So yes, he had the slightest, most minuscule, affection for 1984 but that’s beside the point.

He goes to open his mouth and ask if Will is okay, in the Party’s dubbed ‘Will voice’, when he is interrupted.

 “Mike…” Will starts, he holds his hands up and takes a small step forward like you would do to a startled animal. It almost offends him, because honestly, he doesn’t see the issue that would call for that. He’s just sitting here, debating what he wants to do with his life, and Will’s acting like it’s the end of the world again . “Mike, what are you doing there?” Will says, voice creaking, but soft in a way only Will’s could be.He has a forced smile on his face as he inches ever closer.

Mike raises an eyebrow. “Sitting?” He says, confused and slightly exasperated with the Party’s hovering. Will’s lips quirk up but he’s still shaky for some reason. “Obviously, what are you..” He trails off, face screwing up in thought.

 God, does Mike love that face. It makes Mike feel more sinful than he already does. Mike could write ten billion sonnets and songs about Will Byers face and it never gets old for him. It makes him relate to Shakespeare even though he loathed having to study those stupid things. Though he doesn’t think anybody could get tired of reading about Will. He would personally never get tired of it, he still has words to say about Will and he’s known him for years. He still has moments and memories he looks back on fondly, things he would describe so sweetly it would be like honey dripping from his mouth.

He remembers when Will used to chew on his pens in thought until one blew up in his mouth. It made him burst into laughter but Mike so badly wanted to reach up and wipe the ink off his face like you would a partner. Of course he didn’t, Vecna’s “I know what you are.” Still rings in his ears at times like that. Even if he did, he thinks Will would have pulled away. He has imagined Will’s voice calling him a “filthy queer”. Again, thanks Vecna . But he doesn’t think Will would ever say that. Probably pull a him and distance himself. It would be horrible for him. God, he would curl up in a ball and cry in the back of his closet. Probably clutching that box of letters to his chest like a talisman. Though that would be perfect for a book or movie, a picture perfect heartbreak. Readers eat that kinda thing up.

Will started again, snapping Mike out of his thoughts. “What are you thinking about?” He tries, eyes darting around nervously. Mike couldn’t help but snort, really? That’s what gots Will all panicked? What’s he thinking about? Will worries too much. He shrugs, looking back over the quarry and towards the sky. 

“How bright the water is.”He says truthfully, because he wasn’t really thinking of anything special and he doubts Will wants to hear about Vecna calling him slurs and he doesn’t want to tell Will that Vecna has some truth to him. “It seems very…welcoming.” He decides.

Will makes a loud sputtering noise, and starts to cough. Mike whips his head around. “Are you okay?” He says panicked, hands hovering in the air in front of him, almost wanting to scramble up towards Will but he holds a hand out. “I’m fine, Just.”He coughs again, shaking.”What do you mean by that?” He asks quietly but there is still an edge of franticness to it. 

Mike, like he always seems to be around WIll, is at a loss for what to say. His fingers itch for some paper so he doesn’t have to open his mouth. When writing on paper you get to edit your words, your body doesn’t give away your lying, your tone doesn’t make it obvious. You can only portray what you want and none of the nervousness. Mike wishes for his beloved pencils right now so he can jot down the right words to make the party leave him alone, write the correct sentence to make them think he’s okay, make the right story to keep him decent. 

“Mike.” Will’s voice barks sternly, like it did when they were defeating Vecna. “What did you mean by that.” 

Well, that’s not fair. Mike thinks as heat floods his cheeks. How is he supposed to say no to that when Will is being commanding? “Uhh.”He says, brain stuttering for a moment before saying. “I was wondering how it would feel to fall?”He says, before flinching. Will’s face fell and he started to wring his hands. ‘great going Mike.’ He rolls his eyes, ‘ You made Will even more nervous.’

Will sniffs, saying softly. “Hey Mike?”Mike’s eyes locked onto Will when he said his name like that. All smooth and warm, no roughness, like Mike was something precious.  Will shifts on his feet nervously before saying. “What did Vecna show you? You never did tell us.” He says, looking at Mike like he’s the most fragile thing in the world. Honestly? Mike felt like it too. He freezes, and it feels like everything collapses around him.

The world goes fuzzy and all he can see is Will looking at him. The words “What did Vecna show you?” Repeating over and over in his mind. What does he say? What does he do? Will sits there patiently, like he didn’t just break Mike’s whole world. What to do? His breath hitches as he stares at Will, eyes glassy. How can he explain the pain and embarrassment Vecna put him through? How can he remove the filth from it? How can he do that without making a mockery of himself? How can he side step around his queerness with Will catching on? How can he explain without watching this friendship crumble around him. Does he just make something up? 

Thoughts fly by him, a mile a minute. If he fucks this up, what will happen? Will he get kicked out of the party? Will they tell? Will it spread if Will somehow catches on? Does he already know? What will they say? He doesn’t want them to look at him with disgust like he sees his dad look at queers on the TV. He doesn’t want to hear the vile that spills from Troy’s lips come from his friends mouths. He doesn’t want the familiar smile on Will’s face to be replaced by a sneer. What if it spreads to the HellFire club? Will he get kicked out of a place where freaks thrive? Will was always a better DM than him. At least he isn’t a mimic of someone much greater than him, a shadow. Will would actually fill the shoes left for him.

He hears gravel shift from next to him. 

“ Don’t-”

  It comes out much sharper, more aggressive, than he meant it to. Will freezes, as if someone pointed a gun to his forehead. Mike felt like he was holding the gun, but instead of it being pointed at Will. He was pointing it at himself. Mike took a deep ,shaky, breath. It came thick down his throat, like when you drink too much of something and you choke on it going down.  Mike forces himself to be much more composed then he felt, much more like the leader the party and himself portray him to be.

He starts on a ramble, but that’s how most of his speeches go. It started on one when he convinced Lucas and Dustin to go search for Will in the rain. ( Will could have casted protection, but he chose fireball.) It’s fitting that possible the last speech would start as all the others. 

“You know? I’ve read that when you’re held at the mercy of someone, either by knife or gun or something else.” He and Will both know that something else is the upside down. It doesn’t need to be spoken.

“ You start to talk about yourself, anything about yourself. If you have pets, siblings, kids, parents, if they rely on you, their names, your name. Your favorite color, food, game, anything. If you’re important to your community, if you’ve been bullied, if you’ve been abused, any hardships you’ve had. It, supposedly, humanizes you. It gives the person something to empathize with. Maybe the person holding the knife was bullied too, maybe their favorite color is also yellow, maybe they also have a little sister, maybe they also have a best friend, maybe they enjoy the same food as you. It makes them think that you are the same as them, and you can be them too.”

Mike hears Will sit down next to him, still keeping his distance, and Mike gulps because he knows what he’s building up too. He starts to play with his fingers. “ Because before that, you were just prey to them. Something to take out their anger on. Maybe you looked just enough like the person they hate, or someone that wronged them, and they decided that you couldn’t possibly be that different. Or maybe you were nothing at all to them, prey, a punching bag to beat at. But by telling them everything about yourself, you gave them something you didn’t have before. A history that would be too hard to wipe off, too painfully. You aren’t just a bag of stuffing anymore, or their shitty dad, you’re someone's brother, son, friend, and you matter now.”Mike takes a breath.” Now they look at you and go, you’re just like me .”

Mike looks at his hand, gripping his knees. “ Just like me .” It rings in his head like a taunt. You’re just like me, a sinner. You’re just like me, wrong. You’re just like me, angry at the wrong people. You’re just like me and I know it. In this metaphorical scenario he’s painting, he and the attacker aren’t that different. For they’re both sinners in their own right, one for being a queer and the other for the blood on their hands. Mike feels tears welling up in his eyes, but he can’t stop talking. The words building up in his throat and ready to spill. 

“But what do you do with someone who knows everything about you?”He said, and the silence that left hurt his ears. He saw Will still beside him. “What can you say, do, to make them stop? What action do you take? How can you humanize yourself when someone saw everything and decided it didn’t matter?”Mike’s eyesight blurs, has his words pick up speed..”Or worse, you deserved it? Because with someone who doesn’t know you, you can cut out all the bad but with someone who knows everything, they know what a horrid person you are.”

Mike takes a stilted breath, waiting for Will to say anything. He didn’t so Mike rambled on. “ That’s how I felt with Vecna, I froze. Unable to choose an action. And it wasn’t like El said, he didn’t even bother with trying to continue on with the previous scene that was happening. No.”Mike gritted his teeth, eyebrows pinching together at the thought..”I heard his laughter spill out of El’s mouth, he didn’t even bother trying. “ 

He sighs, unclenching and clenching his hands. “Immediately, the world shifted around me and- ”Mike swallowed thickly. “And I was back at The Quarry.” Will gasped beside him. “Mike…”He drawled but Mike continued pushing on, for if he stopped Mike doesn’t think he could start again.

 “Wh-when you were missing. We, or the cops, pulled your fake corpse out of the Quarry. I can’t remember if we told you or not but, we saw it happen.”Mike’s eyes blur.” I saw it happen.” He shakes his head, running a hand through his already messed up hair.

“So.”Mike cleared his throat.”I was back there, but I was older with Lucas and Dustin. I stood there stunned, same as before, but now. Lucas grabbed my shoulder, and he told me it was my fault. “Will shifted, trying to get closer before Mike spitted out. “Stop, n-not now.”He murmurs, the words almost lost the sound of the waves slapping against the Quarry walls. 

Mike closes his eyes, lost in the memory. “He told me that I could have stopped this, all of this, if I just went with you that night, if I just responded to you saying see you tomorrow, if I talked a bit more. If I did anything, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Mike can see it, clear as day. Lucas, looking at Will’s fake body being covered with a sheet. His face is almost stony, the only sign of expression being his furrowed eyebrows. Dustin is silent, painfully so, beside him. “It should have been you. Lucas said and his voice was monotone. In the way it is when he says something he thinks we should already know? That unimpressed thing?.”Mike spitted out, almost gasping.

 “And then Dustin opened his mouth and the scene shifted again. I was back at the top of the Quarry, when I jumped to save his teeth. This time, though, Troy and his cronies weren’t there. Just me and Dustin. And Dustin did that thing he does.”  

Mike kept his eyes closed, listening to Will’s breath hitch and break with every word and the water breaking against the wall. He starts to talk with his hands, making vague gestures in a pitiful attempt to keep himself calm. To get rid of the urges to run. 

“Th-that thing where he looks at you down the bridge of his nose? Like you’re distasteful or he’s disappointed by you. “Mike stutters over himself in an attempt to get to the end. “And he told me just one thing. “He paused, gathering himself. “Jump.” Mike runs a hand down his face, Will silent beside him. “ And I did .” Mike hangs his head, tears falling down his cheek as he remembers it. Dustin's voice, clear as day, just telling him to end it. Mike stared at him, stunned for a moment, but Dustin just kept staring at him with that look of distaste. So he jumped. Mike takes a pained breath.

“ Because, despite knowing it was Vecna, and knowing that he was just toying with me,” He spits out venomously.” I jumped anyway, because if anyone in the party told me to jump. Real or not.  I would. “He says, feeling the air escape his chest but he still feels just as heavy. Like nothing changed.

“Then?” Will says quietly beside him, his voice is weak and worried. Mike is scared to look at him. So he doesn’t. Because he’s a coward. “ Then I fell, obviously, and the world blurred around me. There was no El to save me, I hit the water hard, but instead of dying on impact I fell through. Almost like the water was an incredibly rough portal. Straight into Hawkins elementary playground. One moment I’m in the cold shock of water, then next I feel wood chips stuck to my elbows and the creaking of a swing set.”Mike laughs bitterly, remembering the feeling.

Remembering the panic but the sweet relief of it being over. At least he would die making his friends proud because if Lucas said all that and Dustin told him, then they must have wanted this. Forgetting all about Vecna at the moment because of the fight or flight. The adrenaline pumping through his veins making him forget that it’s not real. He felt the terror of falling, of seeing the water get closer, but the ease of realizing that the moment he hit the water it wouldn’t matter. Then he fell through the water like air and saw the blue sky of that playground. The shock but expectation of seeing him. It was inevitable after all, that he would show up.

“I looked up and saw you, not young you, you now. You were swinging like you did all those years ago, that same bored expression on your face. I was still a bit shaken up.”A huff of laughter from beside him. His lips quirk up a bit, he can’t help it. Will always makes him smile. “Understatement.”Will mutters next to him but Mike ignores it.

”All the same, I got up and walked over to you. You didn’t move or acknowledge my existence. I half expected you to start spitting vitriol at me the moment I stood up but no.”Mike shakes his head, still in disbelief that Vecna-Will didn’t just verbally beat him down the moment he saw him.  

“You just sat there, kicking your feet a little with that same bored expression. My body ached and my mind was racing but I suppose I still have that instinct instilled in me to get to you whenever I can.”This time, Mike laughed. He remembers that instinct fondly, the feeling of needing to get to Will. Of having some type of connection, physical or not, with him. The months in California was torture for Mike, he almost folded so many times and just sent a letter to Will. He couldn’t though, because Mike could never lie to Will the way he could lie to Eleven. He could never write a “From Mike, “Or a “Sincerely Mike.” It made him feel heavy and wrong. It always has to be “Love Mike. “And everything in every letter he wrote was similar in that vein. So he could never send a single letter. 

So he called about fifty billion times and never got a response. He kept calling, day to night and nothing. Eventually, he couldn’t take the rejection anymore, and what was he supposed to do? Write in a letter to El. “Hey, tell Will to answer the damn phone. I’m literally wasting away over here because your brother, who I got a crush on while I’m dating you, won’t pick up the phone? Btw I’m queer. Hope that’s okay with you!” No! Who does that?!? So he just decided that if Will wants to talk to him, he’ll call, and if he didn’t then he didn’t. Mike would just have to accept that, and it would be deserved.

Mike sighed, continuing.“I clawed myself from my place in wood chip hell to beside you, on the swing next to you. I, uh, sat down, obviously.”Mike could kick himself with how anxious he’s being but, the words Will told him haunts him because to this day he can’t figure out where they came from. How much it shakes him when it shouldn’t. 

“Again, I expected you to start hurling insults at me, maybe insult my campaigns, scream at me for how I never wrote to you. “ That you know of , goes unsaid by him. “I dunno, but you did nothing. Just kept swinging a bit with that same expression on your face.”Mike closes his eyes, thinking of how the sun hit his face with Will in his stupid flannel and that dumb pout.

Personally, Mike thinks Vecna made Will look like that at first because Mike almost kissed him when he saw that flannel on Will’s broad shoulders. Also, Mike has always loved Will’s bored look. He loves all of Will’s looks of course, but that bored look was his favorite because of what usually happened because of it. Will would drape himself across Mike, to get his attention and to be a little shit. He would lay in his lap or bat at his cheek and Mike would have to pretend like he wasn’t about to explode from it. Then Will would give that stupidly cute pout and whine. “ Mike~ I’m bored.” Then if anybody was with them, they would give him a knowing look because they knew that Mike would crumble like a wet paper towel to the next thing that came out of Will’s mouth.

But that didn’t happen in the dream. “It was silent for a bit. “Mike starts. “We just sat there with nothing but the creaking of chains and shoes hitting wood chips. It was so awkward but oddly comforting. I kept anticipating for something to happen, for you to start cursing me out, for the sky to change, for anything bad to happen but nothing!” Mike says, hesitation coloring his words. 

“ I was about to say something when you spoke.”Mike saw Will tense up beside him, this time when Will scooted a bit closer Mike didn’t say anything.  He sighs, looking at the sky as it starts to shift slightly darker but lighter at the same time. That always interested Mike, for he could never put into words how the sky looked right before it chained into that pink orangey of the sunset but you could tell it wasn’t that bright blue of the afternoon anymore. 

Mike took another deep breath. “You said, ‘Here again Mikey?’ Which was weird because you never call me Mikey anymore. You haven’t called me that since you were like 8 and Troy kept bullying you for calling me that.” Mike feels a shiver of guilt wrack his spine. He always liked Will calling him ‘Mikey’ it was a guilty pleasure of his. He still imagines Will tugging his hair and whining. “ Mikey ” To get his attention like he did when they were kids. He wishes he still did but at least Troy stopped getting on Will’s case about that specific thing. 

Mike squeezes his eyes shut. “Uh, I have to give you a bit of context for that. I guess.”He laughs to himself even though it wasn’t funny. 

“When you were in California, I used to hop the fence to Hawkins Elementary and sit on the swing set. Waiting, I guess, in the stupidest way, I thought if I sat there long enough you would appear. Like you always seemed to when we were younger and I couldn’t find you or reach you.”Mike sighs, this is so stupid. He should have just lied. Gave some generic shitty story about Vecna but. He can never lie to Will right. Even if Mike tried to tell Will a fake Vecna story he would have fumbled the moment the first sentence left his mouth and ratted out everything to Will anyways. So might as well tell the truth.

 “Then, it was quiet for a bit before you spoke again. It startled me, I almost  fell off the swing set. “Will’s lips quirk up in a tight faced smile. Mike shakes his head. “You said. ‘You know, you have me worried sometimes.’ and you had that small smile on your face.” Will’s face immediately fell, getting rid of his smile as soon as it came. Mike closes his eyes, unable to bear the thought of Will now thinking of this moment every time he smiles around him. Like Mike thinks of it.

Mike hears the gravel crunch has Will scoots even closer, and Mike has to fight himself from shoving Will away or pulling him closer. He peaks his eyes open and sees Will sitting right next to him, so close their shoulders could touch. He feels his heart pick up, and heat rush to his cheeks. It’s so simple and weird but it’s euphoric . He’s never felt such a natural high, it’s always when he gets chased by upside down creatures that he feels like this. Mike digs his nails into his knees through his pants, he shouldn’t be enjoying this. Will wouldn’t want to be next to him when he figures it out. God, Mike wishes he could love Will normally. Mike starts to talk again, feeling somehow worse now.

 “I said, ‘you have nothing to worry about.’ then you smiled again, eyes crinkled at the edge.” He hears Will laugh beside him.

“You notice that?”He says, disbelief tinging his voice, and Mike chuckles. “Yeah, I notice most things about you Will, if you haven’t noticed.”Will snorts, splaying his hand out and rubbing the tiny rocks in between his fingers as he remarks. “Oh yeah? Like what?” It’s clearly a tease but Mike can’t help but say.

 “You like the sound felt tips make on paper, animals, especially dogs, you don’t like loud noises, whenever you see that fleshy color of red you cringe, you don’t like the ghostbusters anymore anymore unless your with me because of The Mind Flayer and-” Will cuts him off. “Wait, Wait, Wait.”He shakes his head. “How’d you figure all that out?” He says with that small smile, head tilted to the left, the same way he saw with Vecna.

Mike feels a shutter go down his spine, like a messed up version of Deja Vu, maybe Vertigo? “I pay attention.”He murmurs before waving it off. “Anyways, during the Vecna thing.”Will freezes beside him, smile frozen on his face with him.

“You said with a laugh, almost like you couldn’t believe that I said that.  ‘I always worry about you,’ and I laughed too and said. ‘Likewise.’ then you looked away again. I’m ashamed to admit but it felt comfortable. It felt like you and me, like us before the upside down. I let my guard down. I’m sorry.”Mike starts to roll the pebble next to him, using his thumb to move it into little circles and leave a pattern in the dirt.  Will shakes his head, and he’s sitting so close to Mike that he can feel the air that shifts from the movement. “You don’t have to apologize. “Will smiles sheepishly. “Honestly? I would probably relax too. It sounds really nice.” Wills says sweetly, it almost makes Mike melt but Will doesn’t let that happen. 

“So, what happened next?” He said nervously and Mike steeled himself. “You rolled your eyes before you- uh- pouted. Like you usually do when I do something you don’t like, or don’t go along with your demands. “Mike shoves Will playfully. “Jerk.” and Will barks out a laugh but doesn’t say anything. Clearly waiting for Mike to continue.  

“You- uh- said.”Mike bit his lip before saying the rest. “‘Sometimes you take this ‘friendship’ too seriously’ and you looked at me. Smiling with worry on your face clear has day and-and.”Stuttering over his words, Mike pressed the rock down hard enough to leave an indent in his thumb.

Will leaned over, putting his hand over Mike’s and he almost tore it away like it burned. He didn’t, he forced his hand to lie still. Mike took another deep breath, he seemed to be taking way to many of those today. “Then.”He braced himself.

 “You asked ‘are you okay?’ in possibly the softest way I’ve ever heard. Then you kept going before I could respond. ‘You know I won’t hurt you right? You can tell me,’ And I froze.”Mike closed his eyes as he felt Will squeeze his hands. His chest felt heavy and hard, he felt like his throat was rotting as he spoke. “I said nothing, and you shook your head, tutting. ‘ But you won't. ’ you said.” Mike coughs, squeezing Will’s hand back tightly.

 “ You frowned at me, like you do when I say something you don’t like, before smiling at me. Like I did something great for you.  You told me, very knowingly. You had this look, and god.”Mike squeezes his eyes shut before saying the rest quickly. “ You told me. “You and I both know you’re still trapped in your own walls, aren’t you?” Mike gasped a breath, feeling like he was holding it before.

Will gripped his hand again. “W-what does that mean?” He asks, voice shaky and scared in a way that only Mike knows. He’s scared for Mike, because Mike has never let himself be like this in front of Will. God, those words shouldn’t break him as much as they did. It’s only because it was Will that said them that it hurt. Because the prospect of Will even knowing is terrifying, of him having the slightest inkling of how much of a waste Mike is scares him.

Mike sighed, letting his hand hang limply in Will’s grasp. “I’m getting there. “He murmurs softly before he keeps describing what happened.

 “The floor fell away, and Vecna was there in front of me.” Will’s hold on his hand tightened impossibly so. “ He stared at me, and it wasn’t like every other time we’ve seen him. He looked, not aggressive yet, almost curious. I was sitting down before him, and there was thunder crackling in the background. He didn’t bother trying to change form, he didn’t bother trying to go has El or you or Max no. "A bitter look crosses Mike's face. "He just watched me. “ Mike whimpers, curling up and finally pulling his legs up from the edge of the Quarry to bring into himself. 

“ He just watched me. ” Mike’s voice was thick, his eyes were wet, and he betted he looked pathetic as he felt. 

“And I think that was scarier than anything he could have said, “Mike admits weakly, “because despite all the shit leaking into Hawkins from the upside down, despite all the demodogs and bats, and the fucking possession shit, despite all that!”Mike growls out, his tears a mix of angry and scared.

 “Vecna was always human to me, he was always just evil but he was human. Mortal. But right then? Me sitting beneath him as he looked at me like I was to be studied? Has his eyes peeled back parts of me I never wanted anyone to see?” Mike shutters and Will squeezes his hand comfortingly. “I never felt less human, and neither did he feel more inhuman. It was that moment that it clicked that Vecna was closer to a god than any man should be.”

Mike pants and Will frowns. “God?”Will murmurs, and if Mike was thinking of literally anything else, Mike might have swooned at Will’s voice. 

“Vecna looks nothing like El, it’s easy with El. You look at her and think, super girl. Even looking at El, nose bleeding and things levitating. You still see a human, you still see a child, a teen girl but with Vecna? He’s a mutant, an experiment in ways El wasn’t. Something that needed to be put down. Abomination” Mike laughs bitterly.” I was trying to classify Vecna as human, but he-it’s not.”Mike frowns, resting his head on his knees. “It goes back to that thing I said at the start. About humanizing yourself to someone who has a weapon? What do you do to someone who’s no longer human? To someone who disregarded their humanity? How do you make them have mercy? “ 

Will tucked himself up like Mike had, legs curled up as he mumbles. “You can’t…” He whispered, eyes wide, staring at him with dawning terror. Mike smiled humorlessly. “You can’t. “ Mike shakes his head, a bitter look on his face. “Then Vecna did the typical thing. ‘ it’s time for you to join me Michael Wheeler’ Yada Yada.”He makes a rolling motion with his wrist. 

“You know the shtick.”He sighs. “But instead of grabbing me with vines immediately, he said something to me. He told me. ‘Friends don’t lie, so why have you? I know why you lie to yourself. You don’t consider yourself a friend. But what about the party? El? Will? ”

Mike barks out a laugh, throwing his head back.”God, if I didn’t know it was Vecna, I would say It actually sounded concerned!” He snorts, “Insane, but I was still frozen. Vecna finally had their vines grab me but it wasn’t aggressive, it was slow as It brought me to a pillar. Almost gentle.  It kept speaking. ‘Poor little Mike Wheeler, all alone and afraid, filthy and scared. ‘ a vine caressing my chin has it wrapped around my neck. ‘Always biting the hand that feeds you, lashing out at everyone around you in an attempt to steer them away from what you are.’ “Mike shivers, letting out a small whimper. 

Will pulled him closer and Mike wanted to scramble away. He wanted to run, jump, tuck, hide away but he let himself be dragged into a hug. He pressed his face into Will’s chest as he heard him say. “Oh Mike…”as his body shook. He feels Will’s other hand settle on his shivering back and he never felt more low. 

 Mike sniffs, face wet. “An-and Vecna smiled, it looked so cruel and like it knew something I didn’t. It told me in stupid fake caring voice ‘ I know what you are’ “ Mike shook more, the frustration building in his voice,  pressing his face closer and getting Will’s sweater wet. Will brought a hand to his hair had he tugged it through the mess of tangled, frazzled, curls. 

“ I Know What You Are.” Those five little words haunt Mike’s very being, it eats away at his soul as he collapses around himself. It shouldn’t, or at least Mike thinks it shouldn’t. Someone knowing something you have been hiding, shouldn’t it bring relief? Or maybe the relief only comes from the fact you told them, the fact that you chose to let a part of yourself be carried in someone’s hands. Maybe the reason Mike is scared is because he never told Vecna, he never chose for it to know, Vecna just took it like it was it’s right to. 

The secrets in Mike’s heart, the burdens, and Vecna just took them and threw them back in his face. Taunting him with the fact it knew how repulsive he is. Mike gasped, tears soaking his face as he sputtered out the last bit. “ That’s when I heard the music, and your guy’s screams. B-because.”Mike tucks his face in, remembering how it felt. The warm, almost humid, air of the upside down. The gross, damp, feeling of the flesh pillar and vines sticking to his skin, soaking into the back of his shirt. The places it touched on his skin made it feel dry but slimy at the same time, almost gritty.

Vecna, the abomination it is, looking at him with that false pitting look. It’s eyes so cold. Vecna is nauseating to look at. The rough tumor-like growths covering its shoulders and private area, spreading along its skin. The human parts look too thin, like it’s ill fitting. It looks like it took what skin it had and stretched it across its head and stomach, you can see its bone under the skin, the tumor vines holding it in place like staples. The skin is thin like paper and pale like it to, sickly, dead. It makes the growths on him look more like hardened bloating. His gut churns at the thought that comes to mind when he thinks of this, it makes Vecna look like its piloting its own corpse. And its legs. God, its legs. 

It’s like that’s where the rest of its flesh went, sagging around its legs and thighs, tight on its feet so you can see its bones so clearly. It’s revolting, the skin this rustic brownish red that his mind likes to replace with dried flaky blood. It’s what it reminds Mike of, like it’s soaked in blood. Its legs, dilapidated, rotting, flesh are covered with blood but couldn’t rinse it off or else it risks tearing its flesh so it stains its legs. Mike gags at the thought of it, of staring at Vecna’s cloudy white eyes and seeing its pulsing imitation of skin and flesh. The sunken in the spot of where its nose should be makes him flinch. He can see the places where Vecna’s skull should be, and the places where its false flesh filled in. It’s foul.

Mike Wheeler will never forget a detail about Vecna, his memories will fade with time but he can never forget that mimicry of what once was. Mike coughs, murmuring the last part of his tale. “Because of how loose the vines were, I was able to pull away pretty easily. I hit the ground running. Y- you know the rest.”Mike closes his eyes, taking a couple deep shaky breaths. Remembering Vecna’s parting words. 

‘ He will never love you, the way you love him .’ Mike tucks his head into Will’s shoulder as Will holds him tightly. Mike shakes in Will’s hold, trying his best to memorize the way it feels because Will will never love him. He will be disgusted with Mike and he wouldn’t blame him. Mike deserves to be casted away for what he is. Vecna might look like a monster, but Mike is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Will tightens his grip on Mike as he tenses. “What-” Will takes a steadying breath, from his spot on Will's chest. Mike can feel Will’s chest raise, and hear his heart beat rapidly. 

“What did Vecna know?” Will’s hand tenses on his back. “What are you? What does that mean?”He asks shakily, voice warm and sad,  looking down at Mike with wet eyes. Mike’s heart stops beating. He stares at Will, eyes wide and terrified. His chest starts to ache as his mind whirls at lightning speeds to figure out what to say. His brain starts to pump his body full of adrenaline, and he throws himself back, scrambling and clawing at the loose ground to get away from Will. 

Unfortunately, practically being in Will’s lap has it’s down sides so when he tries to run he gets tugged back into Will’s side. Mike starts to squirm, heavy hands flinging around desperately for any type of purchase as Will grapples with him. Mike gasps, breathlessly pleading. “Let me go!” He shouts with tears building in his eyes.

 “No!” Will grunts, trying to hold Mike down. “Please- just Tell me!” He finishes, pinning Mike down. He bows his head, looking over Mike with a distraught look. “Please Mike.”He whimpers. “Don’t run from me.” 

Mike swallowed thickly, because how can Mike deny that? How can he look Will in the eyes when he looks like that, and tell him no? He can’t. Mike stares at Will, mouth feeling like it’s stuffed with cotton, unable to find the correct words to say. It’s like earlier, except Mike is no longer pointing the gun at himself, he’s handing it to Will and trusting him not to shoot him even if he’s expecting it. It’s Russian roulette but a hundred times worse. 

Will’s looking at him expectantly and his brain is fumbling for an answer. What can he say?’Yeah, Vecna knows I’m a filthy queer?’ How would that blow over? What’s a believable lie? Can he even lie to Will? He’s known Mike since he was in kindergarten, he would know if he just magically pulled something. Mike bites his lip as he keeps looking at Will. Does he even want to lie to Will? Wouldn’t it be better to get it over with?

Mike is tired of always panicking every time he thinks about Will, he’s sick of losing it whenever Will gets within 2 feet of him. He’s sick of Vecna’s voice never leaving his mind. He’s sick of whispers of doubt every time he opens his mouth. Even if he did lie, how much longer until it came out? How much longer until his luck runs out and Will notices him flushing like a middle schooler and staring at his lips? How much longer until the show goes south and it’s worse because he let Will get worried over him. 

Mike’s so tired, and he’s already a freak. He’s already faced so much, he already can’t fill the role he was left with. He can barely be the leader they expect him to be. Sure, Mike is terrified that the Party will turn on him, but won’t they do that eventually? He can’t keep this a secret forever, he’s already breaking at the seams. Eventually, he’s just gonna say fuck it and do something drastic. If they turn on him for admitting it, they will definitely be pissed at him for hiding it.

So maybe, he should just let it out? Mike has written 57 letters he’s never sent, he has called Will about a million times with no reply, he thinks about Will all the time, he is a mess every time he sees him. Maybe it’s time to speak it freely? Maybe it’s time to say what he’s always let wither away on carefully tucked away notebook pages? Hell! If it all goes belly up, it’s not like he’s planning to stay in Hawkins his whole life. He can always head down to Chicago, or go to California! San Francisco seems pretty open, at least more open then Hawkins. 

Mike looks at Will, shaking, he’s about to open his mouth when Will interrupts him. “Mike,”He bites his lip. “ I promise I won’t freak out for whatever you say.”He murmurs. “I won’t mind.” He finishes with a soft smile, the setting sun, it’s finally that pinky-orange it gets. It shines on his face, making him look more lovely than he already does. His plush pink lips pulled up in a sweetest smile, eyes crinkled at the edge, tanned skin aglow in the sunlight. Mike is breathless.

“ Radiant...” Mike murmurs to himself. “What?” Will inputs and it makes Mike panic, he sputters quickly. “Nothing- or…”Mike’s eyes darted down to Will’s lips before saying. “What you said before? You…swear it? Friends don’t lie Will!”He says frantically, eyes wide and desperate. Will looks at Mike concerned, saying. “I swear.”

Mike looks at Will hesitantly, disbelief clear on his face. Will rolls his eyes, a soft laugh playing past his lips. “I swear it.”He said, amused but worried. Mike takes a deep breath, saying with a wavering voice. “Radiant, I called you Radiant Will.” The smile slipped off of Will’s face.

“What?”

--‐-----

This is the best way I can do to input the image, :( I couldn't do it right. Just open the image in another tab if you want to see it. Anyway, it's Mike bursting a blood vessel because he's trying to tell the truth while tiptoeing around the fact he's a gay cringe fail loser for Will but Will keeps asking all the right questions. At least that's the contexts I drew it in.

Chapter Text

Mike felt the world crumble around him the moment those words left Will’s lips, he felt his stomach sink. He’s so stupid. What is he to do with this? Does he run? Because Will might as well screamed he was not interested at this point. Mike has the passing thought to roll left to fall into the Quarry. To give him some reprieve to this embarrassment. God, how could he ever think this was okay? His breath hitches. How could he ever be so stupid? He’s an AP student! He’s no Dustin but he should have suspected this. Mike’s face falls along with Will’s as the air around the two stills. 

Mike’s chest hurts as he waits for Will to say anything, it's like there's a tight band around his upper body. He tries to breathe but the air is heavy and hot and he can feel his chest expand awkwardly with every breath.

Mike feels uncomfortable seen, like for the first time in years he’s stepped out of the shadows he has so lovingly swaddled himself in. Cold rocks painfully digging into his back through his thin shirt. The wind was biting at him and stinging his face. The places where Will’s arms are pinning him unbearably warm. It doesn't help that Will’s eyes are boring into him, like he’s truly seeing Mike for the first time, or rather noticing things he overlooked. Will opens his mouth, repeating that wretched word that Mike will most likely think about every time he goes to sleep. 

“W-What?”Will stammers before saying. “Why? What? No,” He shakes his head, waving everything away. “What is that supposed to mean? I don’t understand.” Will spews out, contradicting himself with every word, making Mike’s hope crumble along with it.

Mike is unable to breathe, feeling the air get strained in his throat as he processes what Will is saying. While currently regretting every decision he’s ever made up to this moment. Seriously, how could he be so naive to think this could ever be normal? That Will would ever be okay with someone like him? Something as dirty and diseased has what he longs for? How could Mike even insinuate that Will could even slightly be like him?  How could Mike ever feel anything but shame for his thoughts and feelings? How dare Mike hope? Mike sighs, for if his parents taught him anything it’s that he has to take responsibility for his actions. So he has to face the music, sadly.

“It means exactly what it sounds like,”Mike murmurs softly, although his voice is always soft around Will. It’s out of shame this time, not adoration. “You’re radiant Will.” 

Mike pauses, biting his lip as thoughts rush past him. Should he say it? Should he confess? He already fucked everything up so what good would lying do other then prove Will even more correct, show that he’s the messed up little devil his parents always thought he would be? That Hopper was right? Mike should be candid with Will, to make up for every single lie he’s ever told. If this friendship ever meant anything, if the rule ‘friends don’t lie’ was ever true, then Mike should be honest to Will this last time.

“You’re beautiful Will.”Mike said after a beat of silence. That silence probably hurt Mike more than any hit he’s ever taken, including Billy bashing his head in. 

Will sat stunned, staring at Mike with his jaw dropped. He couldn’t help but think that even when Will was possibly debating throwing Mike off the cliff himself, he was still absolutely angelic. Every single part of Will was amazing to Mike, every flaw and perfection, down from his stupid bowl cut to his broad shoulders, and lovely legs, Mike loves every part of Will. He loves the way his eyes are this shade of honey brown, and they way they look like amber in the sun. He loves Will’s stupidly perfect smiles. He loves Will’s gentle hands and the way they steady Mike. 

Mike loves Will’s snarky, shy-ish, attitude. He is such a little shit, Mike adores him. Sure, Will is timid, and he’s extremely polite. He is so kind and sweet, Mike would do anything for him. He has table manners, he puts a napkin in his lap! Mike hasn’t seen anyone but his parents do that. Will is amazing, he also has way too much attitude. Somebody who is timid and rabbit-like as people say Will is, wouldn’t tell him when Eleven dumped him for the first time. “She said she dumped your ass, that doesn’t sound like a break.” amongst other things, also “What friends?” 

He is throwing shade, as his bitch ass tends to do. Mike loves that too. Mike loves his snarkiness, he loves Will’s little comments, loves his shoves, loves Will tugging on his hair to get his attention, loves Will doing things he knows that would make Mike mad. He loves Will whining at him because he knows that Mike is going to listen to every word, loves him making demands and asks of him because he knows that Mike will do anything for him. He loves Will laughing at him when Mike’s hair whips him in his own face because of the wind. He loves when Will gives a snarky remark when Mike runs into walls because of his net zero depth perception. Mike loves all of Will, timid, shy, snarky, witty. Mike adores all of it. 

Mike loves Will more than life itself, because a life without Will isn’t life at all. He wasn’t joking when he said Hawkins wasn’t Hawkins without Will. Will made Hawkins heaven, he made Mike adequate, he made life have some zest to it. When Will left, he took color with it and left everything in grayscale. He left Mike blue, and he left Mike to make everything else blue too. And make it blue Mike did. Mike let everyone around him sink along with him, he ridiculed Lucas, made Dustin think he can’t rely on him, worst of all, he let Max drift away. 

Mike truly thinks that if Will was here, he could have helped Max. Will’s kinda like a prettier Jesus. That made Mike have to bite back a laugh, because that’s so stupid but true. Will spreads joy and life wherever he goes. Will knows what it’s like, he could have helped Max. Helped her see the “Light” in a way. She wouldn’t have needed to fight Vecna, Will would have stopped Max from distancing herself in the first place. Although, Mike is glad Will wasn’t here because Vecna would have suplexed Will quicker then Mike could even blink.

That’s not saying Mike wouldn’t help if Vecna got Will, Mike would help Will even if he got Vecna’d a million times. Mike always follows suit with Will. 

“Mikey?” Will says, and that had Mike biting back a sob. “Will.”Mike utters, voice shaky and broken. “Will don’t.” He pleads, body shaking. His eyes are wet and he’s having to force himself to not let tears roll down his cheeks. Boy’s don’t cry, and he has already let Will see that he is a queer. He doesn’t want Will to know he’s a sissy too. 

“I’m sorry.”He says, and the sob breaks out of him despite his best efforts. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! ” He’s practically yelling, chest heaving with every word. “Mike! Mike!” Will says, panicked. Standing over him, his knees braces on both sides of his waist while his hands filter around in front of him like he doesn’t know what to do with them. Mike brings his hands up and wipes at his eyes with dusty palms. Leaving his face uncomfortably dirty and slightly sticky.

Will always makes Mike taste honey. It sounds weird but when he speaks to Will and he sees Will’s eyes soften like molten chocolate when he sees something he likes. When he hears Will laugh at a dumb joke he made while absently staring at Will’s face. When he feels Will’s hand on his shoulder and he can feel his body heat soak through his HellFire shirt directly onto his skin. When Will sits so close to him he can smell Will’s sandalwood cologne so clearly it’s like it was splashed on his face directly. When all that happens, he tastes honey, he tastes that natural sweetness Will gives and melts.

It’s his favorite flavoring now, he uses Honey shampoo now because of Will. He eats peanut butter and honey sandwiches because of Will. He adores bee’s because of Will. He loves the smell of honey and the stickiness it leaves on his fingers because of Will.

Now, with Will straddling him, looking at him so panicked that Mike can’t make out what Will is thinking but he’s pretty sure it’s revulsion. The honey taste was normally softly sweet and understated, like the person that makes Mike taste it. This time it was so sweet it could be tasted right down to the back of his throat, thick and cloying. 

“I didn’t mean-”He sniffs, feeling like a child, feeling like he’s 12 and Will’s missing again. Unable to control himself, he just had to open his mouth. “I’m sorry for being wrong…”He finally gets out, closing his eyes tightly. Waiting for Will to hit him, or most likely leave him. But that didn’t happen.

“What do you mean wrong?” Will says softly, so soft that it hurts more than anything Will could have done. It makes Mike laugh in disbelief. “How can you not get it?” He shakes his head, hearing the gravel move with it, eyes wide in shock. “I’m gay Will.” He states, staring Will directly in the eyes.

The world goes silent, all Mike can hear is the slapping of waves on the quarry cliffs, the smell of dirt not enough to drown out the sickly sweet taste of honey still stuck on his tongue as Will stares stupefied at him. Then Will dives down on him which has Mike slamming his eyes closed, thinking he’s about to get pummeled. Instead, Will’s soft lips press against Mike’s dry ones. Nose nuzzling against his.

Mike feels like he’s free falling as Will’s hand comes under his head, knuckles brushing against the gravel as he buries his fingers in Mike’s hair.  Pressing down on Mike in desperation. Mike lets his face relax and Will takes control, tugging on Mike’s shirt to try and pull him up. Mike braces his hands on the ground and starts to shove himself up slowly, dedicated to not removing his lips from Will’s because this feels like a high he never wants to come down from. It’s so different from kissing Eleven.

Kissing Eleven just felt like something to do, something they had to do, and they were awkward. No matter how many times they kissed and how used to it they got, it was still awkward, Like neither of them wanted to do it but they were supposed to. Meant to.  And that was it. Mike didn’t want to kiss El, even if El is amazing and a wonderful friend but Mike never wanted more. It was just the thing expected of them. Boy and girl meet, their friends say they would look good together, and they save the boy's friend so they must date right? 

With Will however? Kissing him feels like love itself. Kissing Will makes Mike feel bright. Being held by Will, one hand in his hair the other bracing his back, he feels like pure sunshine. He feels like the brightest rays of the sun hitting your cheeks when you reach the peak of your arch on a swing. It feels like finally finishing a D&D campaign with all your friends cheering around you. It feels like sharing a secret with your person. It feels like what he imagines the color yellow to be.

Will pulls back, cheeks dusted in a pink that makes Will more pretty than he already was. God, Will is so beautiful it makes his chest ache with need and yearning. Mike unconsciously chases Will’s lips before stopping himself. His eyes are wide and darting around, looking at Mike like he’s waiting for something. 

“ Wow .” Comes out of Mike’s mouth because he is a moron. Lucky for him, it makes Will laugh. “Wow? Is that good?” Will remarks, an eyebrow raised. Mike feels his heart beat out of his chest while he’s staring at Will. “Y-Yeah!”He stutters, nodding rapidly, eyes wide and cheeks warm. He sits up as much as he can without bumping into Will.  The feeling of the soft part of his palms pressing into the rough rocks below him is the only thing keeping him from thinking it’s a dream.

“That was amazing Will.”He says, breathless and voice full of adoration. Will turn red, a light smile coming onto his face. “Yeah? Does this mean..?” He trails off, suddenly nervous, fingers tapping on Mike’s spine. Even though Mike halfway expects Will to jump back and shout “ Surprise!” Then start calling him slurs. He still tells Will the truth.

“Yes, this does mean I love you Will.” He says, amused and drunk off of Will’s attention. Mike’s sure if he could live in this moment forever, he would have. Because Will is the daylight, he is adrenaline. He is ecstasy. He is everything Mike would want and more. 

“Cool.”Will mutters out, lost in Mike’s eyes. “Cool.”Mike repeats, also staring into Will’s eyes. Those warm brown eyes, soft in the light from the golden hour, making Mike grin lopsided and stupidly. Will laughs, all boyish and charming, it makes his face light up and his insides feel gooey and soft. They way they always do around Will. He feels that honey taste soften in his mouth the longer he stares at Will. The more he believes it's not a prank and Will actually loves him. Mike feels that adoration well up inside him, the love he has for Will overwhelm him. He can’t help it, the thought of Will loving him too makes Mike so happy.

Mike can’t help but love Will, love everything about him, even if it’s wrong, even if it’s abnormal, he can’t help but adore William Byers. It’s practically a law of the universe, all Wheelers must be absolutely infatuated with the Byers, no exceptions. Will makes Mike feral for him, Mike wants to spend every living moment of his time in Will’s light. He wants to drink every last drop of attention Will can give him. He wants to lay by Will every morning, he wants to hold Will every night, He wants Will to call out to him to help him every menial task. He wants to be domestic with Will.

He wants to live his life by Will’s side. Mike only wants Will to stay beside him, He only wants his hand to hold, to love, to kiss, to sweetly hold. He wants to dance horribly with Will in their own kitchen ,in their own house, with Will commenting on it through laughter but letting Mike dip him down anyways. He wants Will, every part of him. The thought of Will wanting the same thing? Absolute dopamine, better than any drugs.

Mike stares at Will in a giddy haze, high on life and love, before bursting out into giggles.  Eyes crinkling at the edges with how wide he's grinning. Will looks at him blankly for a moment before a smile curls on his face, small chuckles spilling out before full on belly laughs. Will topples onto Mike, making Mike lose his grip and hit the ground but he pays it no mind. Still laughing to his heart's content. 

Mike wraps his arms around Will’s back while he giggles into Mike’s chest. “W-why do we always do this?” Mike shouts, breathless and happy. Will snorts, shaking his head. “You’re gonna have to specify what is this ‘this?’ because I think I’d remember if we kissed before.” He remarks, amused.

Mike grins dopely at Will when he reminds him that they kissed! He almost squeals like a little girl before settling himself the best he can.“No, no. Not that.”He says, cheeks pink and bursting at the seams with delight. “I mean, why do we always fight before we have an emotional revelation?” Mike explains, enjoying the feeling of Will resting on him. He feels as if his mother made Mike just for Will to lay and hold. Will rolls his eyes, squeezing Mike. 

“Is it because you can’t talk about your emotions?” He remarks dryly, which has him flushing in embarrassment. “Yeah, Yeah, ”He sighs, thinking. “It’s just.”Mike fumbles to find the words, which sucks because he always has this problem when talking. He kinda wishes he had the time to write out what he wants to say.  Mike groans as the words continue to slip through his grasp.

Will chuckles. “It’s just what?” he says softly, staring up at him with such love that hurts. Mike could sit all day, staring at Will and never get over it. He’s so beautiful that Mike could never in a million years get sick of looking. He’s timeless, like classic literature, a Greek statue. Something that Mike always returns to no matter how horrible it makes him feel. Mike’s eyes light up, running his hand down Will’s back.

“It’s just you.”Mike shakes his head, a sappy smile on his face. “It’s just you, and me. “Will snorts, looking at Mike in the way he adores. Like Mike is a dog who tripped over his own feet but he can’t help but love it. Like he’s fond of Mike. “Yeah, It is us.”He says with an affectionate look on his face. “Care to expand on that? I'm not exactly a mind reader.” He rolls his eyes.

Mike snorts. “Sorry, it’s just even when we fight and I’m being stupid and wrong and you're being your divine self. Even when I make you feel horrible, we always come back to well,”Mike shrugs, tugging Will’s hand out of his hair to clasp their hands together. “You and me, we’re like a circular design? You know?” He says hopefully.

Will laughs, it's like music to Mike's ears. He was certain the sound of Will's laughter would have broken him out of Vecna’s curse instantly. He's shaking his head. “You're such a dork.” Mike scoffs. “Hey! I-” Will cuts him off, squeezing his hand. “But yes, I understand. It’s what makes us good though.”Will hums thoughtfully, looking Mike up and down. “We break everything down, then build it back up again without any misunderstandings.“ Will shakes his head, a playful smile on his face. “So I guess you are right, for once.”

Mike groans, throwing his head back. “I can’t win!” He says, fake exasperated but he can’t bring himself to be annoyed by Will. Mike uses his other hand to play with Will’s hair, using the other to hold Will’s hand hostage. He remarks. “You know? I don’t think you realize how much I missed you when you were in California.”  Will snorts. “Didn’t send any letters.”He can tell it was supposed to be a light hearted tease, but Mike can hear that tinge of bitterness. It makes his heart sink, so before he can stop himself, he said.

“I wrote, I just…didn’t send them.”Mike closes his eyes, letting himself soak in his idiocy. “You wrote? You didn’t send them!” The first words were hopeful, the second were incredulous. “Why!” He says, using his arms to push himself up and look Mike in the eyes. He coughs. “Uh..They were embarrassing and sappy and disgusting.”Mike flinches, swallowing thickly, the familiar taste of honey slipping down his throat painfully slow.

“Disgusting? How?” Will murmurs softly, looking at Mike, concerned.

 “It- I-”Mike sputters before sighs, finally being candid. 

“I couldn’t write anything but ‘love Mike’ in them. “He laughs bitterly. “I wrote Love Mike in everyone, all 57, but only From Mike in the 9 I sent El.”He shakes his head, in disbelief of his own self. “I couldn’t help it, I missed you too much, and I regretted everything I ever did to you that summer before you moved. I just kept losing you-” 

Mike trips over his own words in frustration, unable to explain his feelings. The desperation he felt, the longing, how fucking horrible he felt. “I just felt like fortune's fool I guess.” Mike sighs, before hearing light laughter above him. He furrows his brows in confusion.

“Mike…”He draws which makes him open his eyes. He sees a fond smile on Will’s face, the light from the blue hour shining over him. Mike feels like he's seen an angel in person when he opens his eyes. Blessed. “I can see how that would have been horrible to send since you were still dating El.”He shakes his head, still laughing slightly. “But those would have made my day.”Will finishes, looking at Mike with such adoration that it made him melt. 

“Really?” Mike whispers, so soft and quiet it’s almost lost under the sound of the water. “Really.”Will repeats, a smile on his face. Mike braces himself, taking a deep breath before saying. “Well, you can read them.” He feels that weight on his chest lift when he sees Will’s eyes sparkle. “I would love to.”Will mutters, before standing up and brushing himself off.

Mike stares at him in confusion until Will extends his hands to them. “Well, c’mon paladin. I wanna read them.”He says, a blush on his face with an awkward smile. “Oh, oh!” He grabs Will’s hand, his heart skipping a beat when Will pulls him up with ease. God, Mike loves how strong Will is. He's such a mess. Mike half-expects Will to let go of his hand but he doesn’t. Will rather laces their fingers together tighter. “ You are never the subtle type so I’m excited to see your love sick ramblings.”Will elbows Mike’s side, teasing him. 

Mike squeaks. “Hey! I’m regretting letting you read them now. I might not.”He huffs, putting his free hand over his heart like the dramatic guy he is. Will shrugs. “They are my letters. So I’m reading them.” He smiles, wiggling his eyebrows before bringing Mike’s hand up to kiss his knuckles. That made Mike fall even deeper in love with Will. Mike thinks he's so deep in love not even the Mariana trench could compare.

“You know I love reading your works anyways.” Mike flushes pink down to his neck. Something about his stories getting complimented makes Mike feel all mushy. He can’t help but sigh, letting Will lead him. Finally letting someone else bare the weight of his burdens. Mike has decided he's finished saving the world.

Will grins, feeling Mike squeeze his hand. Happy to help Mike with his burdens. Will is glad that Mike is letting Will in. The relief he felt when Mike said he loved him back was immeasurable but the feeling of Mike Wheeler relying on him? Euphoric. Will has been waiting for the other shoe to drop, even after defeating Vecna he is still waiting. But now? With Mike beside him? This feels like a happy ending, this feels like winning. Plus he gets to read Mike being a romantic fool? Sprinkles.