Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Test Tube is sitting at the Pick-Nix table, idly considering ideas for new inventions to try once she gets back to her lab materials at the hotel, when she’s interrupted by a massive stack of books plonking down in front of her and two very familiar faces.

Test Tube laughs. “So I take it you enjoyed the library.”

“Are you kidding? I love it!” The grin on Bot’s face is so enthusiastic, Test Tube can’t help smiling too. “There were just so many choices! I got a bunch of, like, really cool horror stories. I’m super excited to read them!” They bounce excitedly in place, their legs extending and shrinking as they do.

“You should definitely go when you get the chance,” Fan adds.

“I will, I will,” Test Tube replies. “I’m just…not sure how things are between us still. I apologized to Cabby, but I just–I don’t feel like that was enough, y’know? I mean, I really messed up, and then instead of owning up that I messed up, I just…doubled down and made everything worse.” Looking up and clocking Fan and Bot’s concerned faces, she adds, “Sorry! You two were having such a good time, and here I come being a Debbie Downer.”

“No no no, not a problem!” Bot assures her. “Hey, for the record, I did ask Cabby if you’d apologized to her, and she said she really appreciated it.” They sigh. “And I really appreciate it too.”

Test Tube smiles, but feels a little sick to her stomach. She hasn’t even thought about how it must have been for Bot, to hear her badmouthing their friend right to their face. She reaches out and puts a hand on Bot’s arm, and they smile back at her.

“And I mean, take this with a grain of salt, since it’s not like I’m the expert in social interaction,” says Fan, “but I think she’d appreciate it even more if you put aside some time to hang out with her. Even after everything you two have been through, I think she really likes you.”

Bot giggles a little at that, and then clamps a hand over their mouth.

“What’s so funny?” asks Test Tube. 

“Oh, nothing, nothing.” Their voice is still shaking a little, like they’re trying to suppress a laugh. Huh, weird. Maybe it’s a glitch with their voice chip. She should look at that later.

“Is the library even still open?” Test Tube looks out over the ocean, where the sun has long since dipped below the horizon.

“Uh, I think it’s closing soon, but like, she lives there now, so…”

Test Tube didn’t even consider that, and the idea of going to what is technically her home to talk to her feels…weird. But if she has the chance to make things better… “I guess I should probably go, then. Thanks, both of you. I love you guys.”

“We love you too,” replies Bot.

“Hey, speak for yourself,” Fan jokes. Bot elbows him in the side. “Ow! Okay, okay, I love you.”

With that, Test Tube steels her nerves and starts heading in the direction of the library.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When she gets there, there’s no one else in sight. She’s not sure whether that makes her feel better or worse, but to distract herself from whatever it is she’s feeling, she starts looking around. She notices that some of the books seem to be separated into sections by stickers on the spines, and upon closer inspection, they have images of her friends on them. Most likely, she realizes, the stickers show who contributed or suggested the books—cookbooks from Tea Kettle, safety guides from Lifering, graphic novels from Paintbrush. She notices another section that also has significant contribution from Paintbrush, that being a display labeled “Trans Books,” and to her delight, many of the other books on that display have stickers of Bot.

She’s just perusing a collection Balloon contributed, displaying poetry from all over the world and all across history, when she hears quiet singing.

“You’re so nice, and you’re so smart…you’re such a good friend, I have to break your heart…I’ll tell you that I love you then I’ll tear your world apart…just pretend I didn’t tear your world apart…”

The lyrics remind Test Tube so much of the confusing feelings she’s been turning over in her head that she’s practically frozen in place even before she realizes who’s singing.

Cabby is seemingly lost in her own thoughts, continuing to hum to herself as she shelves books. Test Tube could totally not say a word and leave right now and Cabby would never know she was there. And yet, for some reason…

“Golly, I’ve never heard you sing before.”

Cabby starts, smiling nervously and fidgeting as she turns around. “Oh, heh, that was nothing special. I was just humming to keep myself occupied while I worked, a-and anyways, the acoustics in here aren’t very good, and I haven’t warmed up at all, and I’m not sure my voice is in the best condition in the first place, I’ve been feeling like I’m coming down with something, and–”

“No, no, you sound beautiful,” Test Tube assures her. “If I tried to sing, someone would probably call 911.”

“Ha! Thank you.” A smile spreads across Cabby’s face, and she seems to be…no, no, that can’t be right. It’s probably just the lighting. Why would she be blushing? “Anyways, what brings you here so late?”

“Oh, I’m just picking up…” Test Tube grabs the book nearest her, from Balloon’s poetry shelf, “...uh, this.”

Cabby takes it from her and glances at the cover, then smirks just a bit. The expression on her is a bit reminiscent of the confidence she’d displayed early in the season, back before the blowup between the two of them. “Hmm, I didn’t realize you were interested in Sappho’s poetry.”

The phrase seems loaded in a way that Test Tube can’t begin to unravel, but it certainly makes her feel very fidgety all of a sudden. “Uh, I’m just…trying to, ah, expand my horizons a bit. Obviously science is always gonna be my thing, but why not try a new thing, y’know?” 

“Absolutely!” Cabby grins. “And if you’d like to contribute any science-related books, they’d be more than welcome. For now, though, do you want to check this out?”

“Um. Sure,” Test Tube replies, because, well, she can’t back out of this now. She goes to scan it, but… “I don’t have a library card, though.”

“No worries.” Cabby opens her drawer and pulls out Test Tube’s file, rifles around for a second and pulls out a card. “I made cards ahead of time for all of you.”

“Ah. Thanks.” She goes through the process of checking out the book in uncomfortable silence. When it’s gotten too much to bear, she blurts out, “Are you hungry at all? I was thinking of going back to the Pick-Nix table and grabbing dinner…”

“Hmm, I could eat.” Cabby holds out a hand to Test Tube. “Shall we?”

“We shall!” Test Tube takes Cabby’s hand, and almost instantly, she starts to feel, well…strange is the only word that could possibly describe it. As though a wave of pins and needles had suddenly passed over her. And if it were a scientific possibility for her stomach to start doing backflips of its own accord, she would’ve sworn that’s what it was doing.

“You alright there, Test Tube?” Cabby asks. She’s really close, Test Tube notices. She drops Cabby’s hand and backs away a bit, and the feeling lessens a bit. Weird!

“Oh, no, no, I’m doing good.” She laughs nervously. “Just felt a little off for a second. Maybe I’m coming down with something too.”

“Well, I certainly hope not.” Cabby’s eyebrows tilt upward in concern, and something about her expression makes the stomach backflips come back.

“Anyways,” Test Tube cuts off her own line of thought before it can progress, “Weren’t we going to, uh, food?”

“Oh, right, food.” Cabby rolls ahead of Test Tube, beating her to the door, and swings it open. “After you.” 

At this point, Test Tube’s stomach is doing such a complicated gymnastics routine, it could probably do well for itself in the Olympics.

“So,” Test Tube starts as they walk, desperate to make conversation, “I had no idea you liked to sing!”

“I mean, not really in any formal capacity,” Cabby replies. “Just a hobby. Something to keep me occupied while I do other things.”

“Still! It’s really neato.” After a minute of thinking, Test Tube realizes, “You know, I don’t feel like I know a lot of things about you. Like, you know so much about the rest of us, but I couldn’t even say what your favorite food or color are.”

“Mmm, if I’m being honest, I wouldn’t say I have a lot of set-in-stone favorites,” Cabby muses. “Those kinds of things just change depending on my mood, I suppose. Like, recently, I’ve been partial to a nice lime green.”

Which is a perfectly innocuous statement. She’s just talking about a color she likes. Nothing to read into, and certainly no reason for Test Tube’s heart to join in her stomach’s routine. Did something spill into her vial and she didn’t notice? What is going on?

“And as for food…perfect timing!” They’ve arrived at the Pick-Nix table, and Cabby rolls up next to it as Test Tube slides into a seat. “I could really go for some udon right now.”

A bowl appears on the table, and it really does smell good, so Test Tube says, “Sure, I’ll have the same,” and another of its kind appears right next to it.

“Let’s see. More things about myself.” An apprehensive frown flashes over Cabby’s face, and her hand hesitates over her drawer for a second, before taking a deep breath, opening it and pulling out a file. It’s the one she pulled out before the voting–blue, with her own rectangular outline on the front. Test Tube was lying if she said that didn’t raise so many questions for her, but…this was a terrible time to ask those questions. Instead, she just slurped up a noodle and nodded for Cabby to go on.

“Well, I like to listen to podcasts in my spare time,” she begins, scanning down her file with one finger. “I prefer cold weather to warm weather…I’m mildly allergic to mango, but not enough that it’s worth not eating it…I can’t for the life of me stay up late, I don’t know how it is I managed the photography challenge, because I’m almost always out before midnight at the latest.” She shuffles the paper in the file around for a moment, chewing her lip. “And I’m, ah, very much a lesbian.”

Test Tube doesn’t know what it is that possesses her to blurt out, “HA, YOU AND ME BOTH,” but the second she hears herself say it, she wishes she could disintegrate. She settles, instead, for shoving a spoonful of broth in her mouth to keep it from saying anything else without consulting her brain.

She comes to regret having her mouth full, though, when Cabby’s eyebrows shoot up and she says, “Wait, really? But I thought you and Fan were a couple?”

The subsequent laughing-and-choking fit that comes over Test Tube lasts at least a full minute, and while she’s sure Cabby’s trying to be helpful by rolling over to her side and putting a hand on Test Tube’s back to steady her, really all it’s doing it making her insides feel jittery and bubbly, like someone’s poured a can of Dr. Fizz into her vial. ( Could someone have done that? Does Dr. Fizz, the person, feel like this all the time? Surely he doesn’t. It’s very distracting. Nobody could practice medicine while feeling like this.)

“Wow, if I’d known you’d react like that, I wouldn’t have said anything,” Cabby remarks.

“I mean,” Test Tube manages once she’s caught her breath, “Fan is my best friend, I love him so much and I’m probably biased but I’d say he’s totally a catch, he’s just, y’know.”

“Not what you’re fishing for,” Cabby finishes. Test Tube nods. “My mistake. I shouldn’t have assumed, I just kind of thought, with Bot and everything…”

Test Tube squirms a little. Bot’s creation is still kind of a sensitive subject for all three of them, and she knows they should talk about it at some point, but that’s a problem for a Test Tube of some time later. “Yeah, I guess it makes sense how you’d think that, but we didn’t really go into creating Bot with the idea of, like, having a kid, if that makes sense. We went into it with the idea of bringing back Bow, and we didn’t really expect for them to become their own person. Not that I’m not glad they are!” she rushes to add. “Bot is my family, and I love them unconditionally, but I absolutely wouldn’t say I think of myself as their mom, even if I did create them. And I know I said I had parental instincts towards them in my EXIT interview, but that was kinda hyperbole. I can’t really define my relationship to them beyond family.”

When Test Tube looks up, Cabby has set her own file to the side and is writing in Test Tube’s. “You know, I haven’t actually had the chance to watch any of the EXIT interviews. I suppose I should get on that.”

“Don’t!” Test Tube blurts, startling Cabby so badly she drops her pencil on the table. “I mean, uh, sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. I just…I gave that interview when I was still freshly feeling everything about my elimination, and I said some things that knowing what I know now are…really misinformed. About you. Things you really don’t need to hear.”

“Understood,” Cabby mumbles, her expression unreadable as she picks up her pencil. Test Tube feels like she’s going to throw up. 

Cabby brightens a bit as she continues, “Anyways, nothing between you and Fan, and in fact you swing the other way. Very, very good information.” That last comment makes Test Tube’s guilt-induced nausea shift back towards the weird stomach feelings that have been plaguing her all evening, because why did she say it like that? “And now…where was I?” Cabby places Test Tube’s file back inside her drawer and picks up her own again. “More fun Cabby facts, let’s see. I’m pretty good with kids…I think licorice is good and everyone who says otherwise is just plain wrong…I like to sing, but I already told you that.”

“What was the song you were singing earlier?” Test Tube asks.

“Oh, that was just a song I like. Kimya Dawson, if you’ve heard of her,” Cabby replies. Test Tube shakes her head. “I’d highly recommend her music. It’s my go-to when I’m going through something painful. Makes those things not hurt quite so much.”

Test Tube frowns. “When you were humming it earlier, were you feeling bad?”

“Oh, no, no, no,” Cabby assures her. “It was just running through my head, that’s all. I’m doing a lot better now than, well, how I was during the game.”

“Yeah. And that was…mostly my fault. I’m still really sorry.” Test Tube sighs.

“I…” Cabby falters, as though she doesn’t know how to put her thoughts into words. “I can’t sugarcoat the fact that your actions toward me during the competition really hurt me. And I forgive you, but that doesn’t make it entirely go away.” The guilt nausea is back with a vengeance, and Test Tube has to push her bowl away. “But also, I had a lot of…underlying issues that probably would have surfaced one way or another, even without things going the way they did. True, I was never ashamed of my files before, but I think I was ashamed of why I used them. I can’t blame you for thinking they were just a game strategy, because that’s the facade I was trying to put up. I was afraid if you, my teammates knew about…the way I am, you’d think of me as nothing but a liability, but, hey, I won, so I suppose that’s a moot point now.”

“You really don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to,” says Test Tube, even though it physically pains her to pass up a chance to be curious. Cabby is shaking so badly the papers in her file are audibly fluttering, though, so it’s probably not a great moment to be nosy.

“No, I know. I’m not doing this because I think I owe you anything, I promise, I’m–it’s really for me, more than anything. I haven’t told many people about it, and when I have, it’s…really helped me. The Floor and Bot both showed me nothing but kindness, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of, I know that now.” She pokes anxiously at her bowl. “It’s just, when you spend so much time not talking about something, and–and internalizing that shame that something is wrong with you, that isn’t something you can just shake off so easily.” She pulls out a piece of paper from her file. “So…what I said on finale day, about how I can’t be me without my files.”

“Uh-huh?” Test Tube would admit to having not understood what Cabby meant by that, but the fact that she had been visibly crying was enough to make it pretty clear to Test Tube that she had messed up big time.

Cabby takes a deep breath, clearly steeling her nerves. “Well, the truth is, I’ve been dealing for a very long time with…with pretty severe memory loss. I don’t know whether it’s something I was born with, or if I had some kind of brain injury, or if there’s some psychological cause, or–or what. I’ve talked to plenty of doctors about it, and they haven’t been able to ascertain a cause. Using my files has made it so much more manageable, but it took me time to develop a system, so everything from before I was using them, my–my childhood, my parents…” 

Her voice breaks, and she buries her face in her hands. Test Tube silently gets up from where she’s been frozen in place and puts a hand on her back. She has no idea what to say to any of this, if she’s being honest, but what she does know is that she wants to comfort her friend. If Cabby even wants to be her friend, that is. All of the things Test Tube had done that she would already admit were sucky were suddenly thrown into a new, even worse light.

“Thanks,” Cabby sniffs, pulling her hands away from her tear-streaked face. “Ugh. Hopefully the more I practice talking about this stuff, the more I’ll be able to do it without breaking down about it.”

“No, I mean, completely understandable,” Test Tube tells her. “That sounds…really scary to deal with just on its own. And then when you’ve got people like me taking the one thing that makes it easier and using it against you, I mean–you trusted me with your files and I used them to eliminate you!”

“You don’t need to tell me that, I was there.” Cabby seems to have calmed significantly, her tone almost dry. “I mean, I know what I just told you, but I promise, I’ve got that all written down in excruciating detail.”

That last part hits Test Tube right in the gut. “Yeah, but what kind of person takes something that someone else needs to function day-to-day with a disability and then uses it to hurt them?”

Cabby opens her drawer and takes out Test Tube’s file again, then pulls out a slip of paper. “Well, the word ‘snollygoster’ comes to mind.”

Test Tube’s mouth twitches against her will. “Wh-don’t try to make me laugh! I don’t deserve that right now!”

Cabby sighs. “Test Tube, you had no way of knowing why I need the files. That certainly doesn’t make the way you acted right, but if you had known, would you have acted differently?”

“Yeah, absolutely,” Test Tube responds without hesitating, and she really does mean it.

“Exactly. There are so many people out there that wouldn’t care, I know that too well. But clearly you do, and I trust that you won’t do it again.”

“Well…thanks. If I were you I definitely wouldn’t have forgiven me, so…”

Cabby snorts. “Oh, I know you wouldn’t. You’re very stubborn, you know that?”

Test Tube, without meaning to, finds herself smiling too. “Yeah, I’ve been told. It’s a blessing and a curse.” 

The two sit in silence as they finish their now-cold udon, but surprisingly, the silence isn’t awkward. In fact, there’s something of a newfound comfort in it.

But Test Tube breaks it as she notices that whatever it was Cabby read “snollygoster” off of is still lying on the table, and when she picks it up to give it back…

“Wait, you keep track of every minced oath you’ve ever heard me use?”

Cabby shrugs, grinning. “What can I say? I find it to be an endearing quirk.”

The weird feelings Test Tube’s been having, which had faded to the background in favor of the rush of emotions of everything that had just happened, suddenly come back in such a rush she’s sure she’s making a face. “Wow, well, geez Louise, you really think so?”

Cabby chuckles as she takes the paper from Test Tube, writes briefly on it, and then puts it back in the file. “Geez Louise? That’s a new one.”

“Yeah, that’s a solid one. I could get a lot of use out of it. For example, geez Louise, I just realized how long we’ve been talking! Fan and Bot probably think I got axe-murdered.” Not that Test Tube doesn’t want to spend more time with Cabby, obviously, but she needs some time to process several things. “Can we hang out again tomorrow? I, uh, I want to keep getting to know you better.”

“Yeah, I’d really like that.” Cabby sticks out a hand. “I mean, we’re still the Smart Alliance.”

“Yep!” This time, Test Tube is prepared for the tingly warmth that seems to come from any physical contact with Cabby, but what she doesn’t expect is how suddenly she’s noticing Cabby’s smile, which is, now that she’s thinking about it, a very nice smile, and she doesn’t know how she hasn’t noticed how nice of a smile Cabby has before, and now that she’s noticed it she can’t stop noticing it, and– “OKAY, UH, I’M GOING TO GO NOW.” She realizes as she says it how loud that was, and clears her throat awkwardly. “Ahem, I’ll drop in at the library tomorrow morning?”

“Sounds wonderful. I’ll see you, Test Tube.”

Test Tube arrives back at her cabin in a daze. Since the game finished, there’s been some shuffling around of housing situations, and now she’s staying with Fan and Bot, who are both thankfully down for the count when she gets back. Bot is all tucked in for their nighttime shutdown, curled up on themself like a sleepy cat. Fan, meanwhile, is conked out unceremoniously facedown on top of his blankets, snoring like a lawnmower.

Test Tube smiles to herself. Gosh, she loves these goobers.

Luckily, the library’s WiFi is also accessible from the cabins, so she can listen to music to wind down before bed. She finds herself typing the musician Cabby mentioned earlier into her music app. A song titled “Chemistry” catches her eye, so she puts on headphones and presses play.

And you said, "All that I mean is that you and me

Didn't meet because of fate, but rather, probability"

And you said, "The truth's like corn, and lies are like weeds"

You said, "The Schrodinger Equation collapsed perfectly"

And I said, "Mercy me, be patient please!"

'Cause I don't know a goddamn thing

About the birds and the bees

I just know what I'm like, and I'm like what I see

Even though it's hard to see because you just blinded me

And if there's one thing I learned in chemistry

It's that the gain of electrons is reduction, obviously

But you can't see electrons without machines

And you can't tell from my inflection if I'm being mean

And I don't know if I can take you seriously

Sometimes elections depend on the absentees

Despite the calm, acoustic nature of the music, and the use of scientific language–the title did not disappoint–it decidedly isn’t helping Test Tube to wind down. In fact, it just makes her think of Cabby, and the more she thinks of Cabby, the more jittery it makes her feel. Suddenly, completely unwarranted, an exchange she had with her EXIT interviewer pops into her head, from when she had been explaining how she would have voted Silver out had Cabby had the immunity cookie.

“I was thinking that could have changed the ending that day, but…I guess not if Paintbrush felt at home with their original Thinker team,” she’d explained, then added as an afterthought, “plus Cabby, so, I don’t think it would have really made a difference.”

“It always comes back to her, huh? If you hadn’t met Cabby during the competition, do you think you would’ve been friends?”

At the time, that first comment had made her kind of miffed, and maybe because of that her answer came out a bit snippier than she’d intended. But now that she thought about it, that really wasn’t…wrong. Whether positive or negative, there wasn’t a day that she hadn’t had Cabby on her mind since they met. It really did always come back to her.

The realization hits Test Tube like a cement truck, the feeling so tangible she thinks she might just shatter. As is is, all she does is blurt out, “oh, nonononono, holly golly gadzooks gee willikers, I can’t possibly–”

“Whahappened?” Fan mumbles from his bed, peeling his face off the duvet drowsily.

Test Tube jumps, remembering she’s not alone. “Oh, sorry Fan, I didn’t mean to wake you, go back to sleep. Nothing you need to worry about.”

“Really?” Fan squints at her sleepily. “I mean, I’m awake now, so if there’s something you wanna talk about…”

“Fine,” Test Tube sighs. “I guess I might as well come out and say it. I kinda just…realized something I really don’t know what to do with.”

Fan comes over to sit next to her. “Did something happen when you were with Cabby?”

“Blegh, yes.” She grimaces, worrying her blanket in her hands. “This is so out of left field, but I think I might be developing…” golly it feels so weird to say, “...a cruuush?”

That has Fan wide awake all of a sudden. “Hold that thought!” he yells as he leaps up and rushes over to Bot’s side. They’re still out like a light–they can’t be woken by loud noise like other objects. The only way to stop their nightly shutdown is to press a specific spot on the top of their head, which Fan is…doing right now.

“Fan, no, don’t wake them up, they need to shut down the whole night–”

“Nnnngh,” Bot croaks, rubbing their eyes. “What’s going on?”

“What’s going on,” Fan replies with a massive grin, “is that now you have to let me show you Spoiled Lemon’s entire discography.”

“...huh?”

“Remember? Our bet?”

“Oh, yeah, the bet,” Bot mumbles. “Okay, sure, maybe tomorrow. I’m going back to sleep. G’night.” They get situated under the covers, seemingly about to shut themself back down, when suddenly their eyes pop wide open. “Wait, the BET?”

“Uh-huh.” Fan’s smiling so widely now it must be painful.

“Wait, what bet?” Test Tube asks, very lost as to the turn this conversation has taken.

“Weeeell, okay, don’t be mad,” Fan begins, which is not a great start. “But you know what I said about how I hoped you two would’ve worked it out while I was gone?”

“...yes…?”

“Well, when I was back at the hotel, I got to thinking about it, and with some careful analysis of your character arc, and also because you’re my best friend and I know you better than anybody, I realized that Cabby is…kind of exactly your type.”

“What do you mean by that?” Test Tube demands. “When have I ever said anything about having a type ?” 

Fan shrugs. “Eh, call it a hunch. And I wasn’t wrong. Anyways, I saw the two of you together, and I think I made an offhand joke to Bot about ‘now that Test Tube and Cabby have made up, it’s basically a countdown until Test Tube starts crushing on her.’”

“And then I was like, ‘nah, she won’t figure it out until we’ve gone back to the hotel,’” Bot jumps in. “And he goes, ‘yeah, wanna bet?’ For the record, my win condition was that he proofread my monster stories.”

“Which I would have done anyway!” Fan insists.

“Okay, okay,” Test Tube cuts him off. “Can we go back to the fact that you two were betting on my love life? What the fork, you guys?”

Bot, to their credit, looks a little ashamed. “Yeah, I know, that was kinda weird. Sorry.” Fan echoes them.

“Okay, well if you both know so much, can you at least give me a little advice on what to do here?”

There’s a moment of silence before Fan mumbles, “I dunno, maybe…talk to her about it?”

“You cannot be serious. I just figured out how I feel myself! I can’t go springing this on her when I don’t even have it all worked out!”

“No, I think he’s kinda right,” says Bot. “I mean, my life experience is basically zero right now, but this stuff can’t be rocket science, can it?”

“You’re absolutely right, it ISN’T rocket science!” Test Tube throws her hands up in the air. “I can do rocket science! I’m great at rocket science! This is as far from rocket science as it’s possible to be!” She flops back onto her bed and buries her face in her pillow.

“Okay, okay, sorry, poor choice of words.” Bot puts a hand on Test Tube’s shoulder. “But remember, I’ve been friends with her longer than you have, and, okay, I have to preface this with saying that she didn’t tell me anything, I promise, and again, I’ve never even talked to anyone outside of the show, so my intuition about this sorta thing might be a little off. Don’t get your hopes too high, is what I’m saying.”

Too late for that. Test Tube is already bolt upright. “Wait, didn’t tell you anything about what?”

Bot shares a look with Fan, before they turn back to Test Tube. “I was getting a pretty strong vibe that she has feelings for you too. Like maybe she has for a while.”

Test Tube blinks, completely thrown. “Wh–I’m–you don’t have to say that. You don’t have to try to make me feel better. I know it’s not true.”

“I’m not just saying it! Back me up here, Fan.”

“Huh what?” Fan blinks. “Oh, yeah, no, for sure.”

“You barely even know her, Fan!” Test Tube exclaims.

“Yeah, but I know you. Can you prove for sure she doesn’t feel the same way?”

“Well, no, but…”

“So it’s just a hypothesis, then.” Fan grins smugly. “Surely a woman of science like yourself wouldn’t leave it there without conducting an experiment and analyzing the results. Completely out of character for you.”

Test Tube put a hand to her chest, affronted. “Don’t you use the scientific method against me, Faniel !”

“Hey, I do listen to you when you talk!” Fan laughs, elbowing her. “Also, why do people keep calling me Faniel? That’s not my name! That’s never been my name!”

Test Tube rolled her eyes good-naturedly, lying back down and staring at the ceiling. “What kind of experiment am I even supposed to do for something like this, anyway?”

“Just spend time with her!” Bot exclaims. “See if you’re picking up any of those vibes!”

“I mean, I was planning on hanging out with her again tomorrow…” Test Tube says. 

“There you go!” Bot hops off the bed. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, since SOMEone decided to wake me up in the middle of my nighttime shutdown instead of waiting to talk to me until the morning like a normal person, I gotta get my eight hours.” They tuck themself back into their own bed and are immediately out.

“Yeah, well, someone decided to wake ME up by having a crisis right in my ear, and I,” Fan yawns dramatically, “am exceedingly eepy.”

Test Tube snorts. “Okay, fine. I should probably get some sleep too, if I want to be at the library early tomorrow.” She turns to notice he has his arms open, and leans into the hug, feeling instantly more grounded when she does. “Thanks for all your help, Fan. You don’t have to.”

“Of course I do! What kind of best friend would I be if I didn’t help you out in a sticky situation?” He pulls back to smile at her. “Now get some rest, okay? You’re going to need it.”

Chapter Text

Despite her attempts, Test Tube’s brain won’t let her get to sleep for hours. And when she wakes up, she rolls over, checks the time on her phone, and…

“OH MY GOLLY THE LIBRARY OPENED TWO HOURS AGO!” She looks around, finding that Fan and Bot are already up and about, sharing Fan’s headphones and giggling as he watches them draw something. “Why didn’t you two wake me?”

“Have you met you when someone wakes you up before you’re ready? That’s like asking, ‘why didn’t you punch that angry bear?’” Bot jokes, and Fan snorts. “Also, you really gotta listen to this podcast with us! It’s about the crew of this space station that’s orbiting around a dwarf star, and the communications officer is recording–”

“Sorry, no time!” yells Test Tube, rushing into the bathroom. Although, didn’t Cabby say she liked listening to podcasts? Maybe Test Tube should ask if she knew that one. After all, what else would they talk about? How is Test Tube even supposed to start a conversation with her? The only thing she can think of right now is, “so, funny story, you’ll never guess what I found out Fan and Bot were betting on!” And obviously, that subject is off the table.

“Test Tube,” Fan calls to her, “did you ever actually say you were going to meet Cabby first thing after she opened the library?”

“No, buh i’on wah kee her wayhing!” Test Tube replied around her toothbrush.

“...what?”

Test Tube spit out her mouthful of toothpaste and got to work polishing the outside of her glass. “I said, I don’t want to keep her waiting!” She looks herself up and down in the mirror, and then goes back into the main room. “How do I look? Do I have toothpaste on my face or anything?”

“No, Test Tube, you look great,” Fan promises her. He pulls her in for a hug, and Bot joins as well. “You’re gonna be fine. Even if she doesn’t like you the way you like her, I’m sure she still likes you. You’re pretty awesome.”

“And I’m telling you, she does like you like that,” Bot adds. As the three separate, they add, “Good luck with her today!”

“Gee, guys, it’s not like I’m confessing to her or anything, okay?” Test Tube sighs. “I’m just…in the experimenting phase for a while. Once I have more conclusive evidence, then I’ll decide what to do with that.”

“Sounds like it’s gonna take forever, but okay.”

“Even better! I never have to do the awkward part! Alright, I love you two, see ya!” She waves cheerily as she heads out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Test Tube could swear that the walk between the cabins and the library was not usually this long. Maybe it’s the fact that she’s practically in a daze, but she’s almost considering the idea that for some reason The Floor swallowed it in the middle of the night and then spit it back up again on the other side of the island, by the time the filing-cabinet shaped building comes into her line of vision. (Now that she thinks about it, the fact that Cabby’s library is shaped like herself is…really cute.) Test Tube is so focused on getting to the desk to see Cabby that when she comes face to face with the two decidedly non-Cabby objects at the desk, she blurts out, “What are YOU guys doing here?”

“Goodness, Test Tube, don’t be impolite. At least start out with a proper greeting. Isn’t that right, Painty?”

Paintbrush takes a slow breath in, counts to five on their fingers and then lets it out. They turn to Test Tube, plastering on a painfully forced customer service smile. “Hi, Test Tube. I am working the front desk. No idea why this one’s here, unless the library’s hiring a professional annoyance.” They jab their thumb at Silver Spoon, who’s smiling smugly with his chin propped in his hand.

Despite her current state of stress, Test Tube can’t help but be a little amused. She’s heard both Silver and Paintbrush refer to one another as friends, and she doesn’t doubt either of them means it. They just seem to have a weird kind of fun bickering with one another. She doesn’t really understand why, but if it works for them, it works for them, she supposes.

“I’m doing just the same as you, dear. Taking over Cabby’s role until she’s able to come back to work.”

Test Tube opens her mouth to ask why Cabby isn’t able to be here, but Paintbrush is so focused on their squabble with Silver that they don’t notice and talk over her. “Well, yeah, but she asked me to do it, not you. And come on, when have you ever taken on work that you don’t absolutely have to? You’re clearly just here to get on my nerves.”

Silver scoffs. “So, what, I can’t possibly have decided to do this without Cabby asking? You don’t think I’d just choose to do something for a friend when she’s feeling poorly?”

“I mean, I think there’s probably several reasons she didn’t ask you. Would you like me to list them?”

“Wait, hang on!” Test Tube interrupts in an admittedly non-library appropriate voice, but if she doesn’t get Paintbrush’s attention they probably really are going to start listing the reasons, and she needs to get a word in here. “Did you say Cabby was sick?” She’d mentioned feeling under the weather yesterday, but she’d seemed fine.

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Paintbrush replies, looking at Test Tube as if they’ve forgotten she’s there. “She called in this morning with a fever.”

“Oh, gadzooks, I should go check on her!” Test Tube exclaims–mostly out of concern for Cabby’s well-being, of course but also, more selfishly…she did wake up this morning expecting to spend time with Cabby, and she’ll be sorely disappointed if she doesn’t get to.

“My, my, quite eager to see her, aren’t we?” Silver teases. “I see why you were so disappointed to see Painty and I here today in Cabby’s stead. It seems you’ve gotten quite, ahem, attached to her all of a sudden.”

“That’s a pretty big stone to throw for a guy living in a glass house,” Paintbrush mutters.

“And, pray tell, what is it exactly you mean by that, hmm?”

Paintbrush raises their voice a little again. “Hey, Test Tube, when you see Cabby, maybe you should ask her for Silver’s file. I’m sure there’s some stuff in there Candle would find absolutely scintillating.”

Silver’s practiced composure drops instantly, a blush spreading across his face. “What–I–that was a low blow and you know it!”

Test Tube takes the fresh round of bickering that little comment spurs on as an opportunity to slip out.

It takes a minute for Test Tube to figure out where the library part of the building ends and the part where Cabby lives begins. Don’t get her wrong, the design is still as cute as she found it a few minutes ago. Especially the fact that part of it is shaped like one of Cabby’s files–knowing what she knows about those files now, she’s glad Cabby feels comfortable to show them so clearly and unashamedly as part of herself, even if she’ll also always feel guilty that she was ashamed in the first place. It’s just a beautiful building overall, in her opinion.

Even so, it is kind of a maze to navigate anywhere beyond the main library area. She has to try a couple doors before she finds one that’s unlocked, and steps inside.

Once she does, of course, she realizes that regardless of whether the door is locked or unlocked, it’s still pretty weird of her to just walk into someone’s house without even bothering to knock. Ah, well. She’s already here now, she might as well still try to find Cabby.

The entry room isn’t too big, and clearly it’s an afterthought compared to the library part, but it’s a nice space. The glass walls let in a lot of natural light, and the plants scattered around in brightly colored pots seem to be really flourishing in it. There’s a couch and a table, both with stacks of books on them. Also on the table is a card with “Congratulations on your engagement” on the front, but “engagement” is crossed out and “LIBRARY” scribbled on in MePhone’s handwriting. Out of curiosity, Test Tube picks up and begins to read some of the signatures.

Really cool place you’ve built here, mate! I couldn’t be more honored to be the home of this library. –The Floor :D

What a lovely choice for your prize, Cabby. After such a chaotic season, I appreciate your making a place for peace and quiet. –Candle

YES!!! IF ANYONE DARES DISTURB THE QUIET HERE, I WILL YELL IN THEIR FACE!!! –YANG
No, Yang, that just makes it louder!
Oh yeah…
Anyways, good for you, Cabby! Nobody deserves this more than you! -Yin

This library is like a metaphorical big filing cabinet full of love! Except it’s shaped like you, and you’re a filing cabinet, so I guess it kind of is a literal big filing cabinet. Hmmm… –Goo

Wow, using your prize for a building shaped like you? Way to rip me off! (Just kidding. A library is the perfect choice for you!) –OJ

Test Tube’s eye is drawn to a little doodle of Cabby with Bot sitting in “the Cab.” There’s an arrow pointing to Cabby with a note that says, “WORLD’S COOLEST LIBRARIAN!”

She can’t help but smile to herself. This must have been passed around at the opening of the library, which is why she hasn’t seen it. Maybe that’s for the better. She has no idea what she would’ve written.

A sound makes her jump and almost drop the card–a cough, and then a slight groan. Carefully, Test Tube puts the card back on the table, trying to make it look like she hasn’t touched it, and then turns to the short hallway leading off the room she’s in. There’s a few doors in it, one of which has a low light coming from under it. Test Tube means to knock, really she does, but the door is slightly ajar and as soon as she so much as touches it, it swings open.

Like the front room, Cabby’s bedroom is small but certainly doesn’t feel cramped or claustrophobic. Instead, it feels cozy, a feeling contributed to by the fact that the only light is the warm, soft glow of a little reading lamp that sits on a small bookshelf that seems to be serving as a nightstand. It’s surrounded by various things someone might want when they’re not feeling well–a bottle of Tylenol, a half-empty bag of cough drops, and a mug with the string of a tea bag sticking out of it. The mug has a small line-art drawing of a cat looking up at a starry sky, with the words, “grounded. humbled. One with EVERYTHING.” There’s also a plastic cup with as many different writing utensils as could possibly fit inside.

“Test Tube? Are you just going to stand there looking around, or…?”

Test Tube finally lets her eyes follow the familiar, yet unusually croaky, voice to the bed in the center of the room. Cabby is sitting up, or more accurately, propped up at a diagonal, with a colorful quilt over her and a book in front of her. Paintbrush and Silver weren’t kidding, she really doesn’t look good–well, she could never not look good in Test Tube’s eyes, but she looks absolutely exhausted. Her face is flushed, she’s visibly shivering, and she has visible bags under her eyes.

Eyes that are focused right on Test Tube.

“Oh, uh, sorry, hi.” Test Tube fidgets under her gaze. “I came to the desk this morning and Silver Spoon and Paintbrush both said you called in, so I figured I’d come check on you.”

“You didn’t–” Cabby cuts herself off, blinking in confusion. “Wait, why was Silver there? I specifically told just Paintbrush to take over my job at the front desk.”

“He said he was there to help out, but I think he was mostly just there to drive Paintbrush up the wall.”

“Ugh, typical.” Cabby sighs and clears her throat. “You didn’t have to come check on me, though, Test Tube. I wouldn’t want you to catch anything from me.”

“Oh, no, no worries! I pretty rarely get sick, this stuff–” Test Tube taps on her glass, indicating the green liquid inside, “--has some antimicrobial properties, which is pretty nice.”

“That is nice,” remarks Cabby. “By-the-by, I’ve always been curious, what exactly is that stuff? If it’s not too forward of me to ask.”

“Full disclosure, I don’t actually…know?” Test Tube admits. “I’ve run all sorts of tests and can’t find any definitive proof that it matches any existing chemical we know of today. It’s kind of my life goal to figure it out.”

“Hmm. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it certainly was not that.”

Test Tube laughs a little, sitting down on the foot of the bed. “But even on the off chance that I do get sick, anything is worth it if I get to spend time with you.”

Test Tube had promised herself she would never try time travel again unless it were an absolute emergency, but the second that sentence left her mouth, she wondered for a split second if it would be possible to go back in time to tell herself to not say it without, well, destroying the entire space-time continuum. “I’m sorry, that was a weird thing to say.”

“No, no, it’s very sweet,” Cabby replies absently. Her eyes are glazed over, as if she’s not all the way there. “You know, Test Tube, I’ve been meaning to tell you so–” Before she can finish her sentence, she breaks off into a fit of coughing into her arm. Test Tube rushes to her side, putting a hand on her shoulder and handing her the tea next to her. Now that she’s closer, she can see it’s the licorice throat-coat kind. She did say she liked licorice, yesterday, Test Tube recalls.

Once the fit calms enough for Cabby to take a few sips of her tea and take some breaths, she shoots Test Tube a smile that has Test Tube’s stomach acrobatics from yesterday evening making a comeback. “Ahem, thanks.”

“Yeah, of course.” Test Tube awkwardly removes her hand from Cabby’s shoulder, suddenly aware it’s still there. “Golly, Cabby, that sounds terrible. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Mm-hmm, I’m fine. Just a little bout of flu, it’ll clear up in a few days.”

“Well, is there anything I can do?” Test Tube asks. “I wanna help you out. I really owe you one–well, a lot more than one, actually. Besides, that’s what…friends do.”

Cabby thinks for a moment. “Well, I’m–I’m sure you have important things to do.”

“Nah, nothing that can’t wait.”

“Would you mind staying here with me for a bit? Just to keep me company?” Her voice drops to nearly a whisper as she says, “I really don’t like being alone.”

“Yeah, of course!” Test Tube moves to sit next to her on the bed. “Sorry, am I in your space too much?”

“No, that’s alright,” Cabby replies. “I don’t mind at all.”

After a moment of silence, Test Tube asks, “Also, what were you going to say a minute ago? You said you’ve been meaning to tell me something?”

Cabby looks fidgety and anxious all of a sudden. “Ah, yes, that…that wasn’t anything, really. It was the fever talking, pay it no mind.”

Test Tube is physically incapable of paying things no mind, but she lets it slide. There’s another moment of silence, this one significantly more awkward. Test Tube picks up the book Cabby had been reading, glancing at the cover. “Hey, the Princess Bride! I loved this book as a kid!”

“Did you really?” Cabby raises an eyebrow. “I certainly never would have taken you as the type for fairytales.”

“Hey, I still read and enjoy every single fanfiction Fan sends me, too! I contain multitudes!”

Cabby chuckles, coughing a little again as she does. She shifts her blanket so she’s able to pull out her drawer, taking out Test Tube’s file and writing in it. Funny, given how much drama Test Tube had made about what Cabby had written about her in her file before…now she finds the fact that Cabby cares enough to write down so many silly little details about her charming.

“You wanna know what’s funny?” Test Tube asked, not waiting for a response to continue. “When I read this I got it from my teacher, because obviously I was that kid who was friends with all the teachers.” Another little giggle from Cabby. She has such a nice laugh, Test Tube thinks. “And after I finished it, I went and asked if they had the unabridged version, because I liked it so much I wanted to read the whole thing. So of course, they laughed a little bit and explained that the whole joke was that there was no unabridged version.” Test Tube snorts, smiling a little. “Looking back on it, I’m like, uh, yeah, obviously, but I was so embarrassed at the time. I got the best grades of everyone in my class, y’know? I never messed up like that.”

“And so began your whole thing about being wrong,” Cabby mumbles. Then she freezes, eyes wide. “Agh, I didn’t mean to say that, I just–my brain feels like mush right now and I didn’t think. I’m so sorry.”

Test Tube nudges her gently. “Hey, what happened to no more saying sorry?”

“I meant that about using my files, not about anything ever! And that was completely out of line of me to say, so I think it’s warranted.”

“No, the thing is, you’re right.” Test Tube sighs. “I know I hate being wrong more than I probably should. I mean, a scientist should always be prepared to have their hypothesis disproved, and willing to change their methods based on the results they get, and I…am not good at that. At all.”

“Well, at least you admit it,” Cabby teases. “In all seriousness, though, we all have things we’re working on, don’t we? And for the record, I can tell you really are working on it. You realized you were wrong about me, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, and it took me way too long!” Test Tube interjects.

“Well…that may be so…but for the record? Bot was so worried about how you would feel about them not being the way you expected them to be, and you took that completely in stride. I’ve never heard you even once slip up on their name or pronouns.”

“That canNOT be where the bar is. That’s just basic decency.”

“It is, but it’s not just that. It’s how you recognized you were in the wrong for assuming they would be just like Bow, and you didn’t hesitate in changing your behavior. And beating yourself up over struggling with this isn’t helping, either. It’s more productive to focus on a future you can change rather than a past you can’t.”

“Gee. That’s pretty astute.”

“Is it?” Cabby rubs her eyes. “I don’t really know what I’m saying. I think I’m practically delirious.”

“Heh, yeah.” Test Tube stares up at the ceiling. “You know, on the one hand, I wish I hadn’t been eliminated just when Bot was going through so many big changes so I could’ve been there with them the whole way along, but on the other hand…if I hadn’t been, they probably never would have connected with you like they did.” She turns to face Cabby, willing her brain to not stop working as it seems wont to do when she meets Cabby’s eyes, because she really wants to get this across. “You really helped them with this whole transition, you know that, right? I’m really glad the two of you are friends.”

Cabby’s smile is so warm it could melt Test Tube’s glass. “Thank you, I…that means a lot to hear.”

“Anytime,” Test Tube replies softly. She picks the book back up. “So, why the Princess Bride? I mean, you can’t go wrong with it, but I’m just curious.”

A little of Cabby’s energy seems to come back as she says, “Oh, have I not told you? During the opening of the library, I met an elementary teacher from a nearby island–one quite a bit more populated than this one–and he said he was thinking of bringing his after-school program over to the library every so often, if that was alright with me. I’ve been looking for some books they might like.”

“Wowie, Cabby, that’s so cool!” Test Tube exclaims. “I don’t really have any suggestions right now, but I’ll definitely keep my mind open.”

“I appreciate that. I’ve been fielding suggestions from as many people as I can–I actually got this at Nickel’s request, believe it or not. Hidden depths, I guess. I’m getting a pretty interesting range.” She stretches an arm to pull a stack of books off the shelf, plopping it down in front of herself and Test Tube. “This one is from Blueberry,” she indicates one of the Series of Unfortunate Events books, “this is Paintbrush’s,” she pulls out a Lumberjanes book, “this one’s from Clover,” she takes out Anne of Green Gables.

“That is a pretty interesting range,” Test Tube agrees. “How about you, did you ever read any of these as a kid?”

Cabby’s smile falters, and Test Tube realizes her mistake. “Oh golly, I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think, I didn’t mean–”

“No, Test Tube, Test Tube, calm down,” Cabby cuts her off. “You don’t have to worry about me, I promise.”

“Really?” Test Tube asks. “I mean, I just—things must be hard enough for you anyways, without being constantly reminded of how you’re not like everyone else, and I don’t want to add to that.”

“I mean, yes, of course, the little reminders everywhere that other people can do things easily that are so much harder for me, and how that’s always going to be out of my control because it’s just how I am…yeah, I’d say that hurts a little.” She smiles sadly, seemingly more to herself than Test Tube. “But that’s just what life is like for me, all the time. Sometimes it really does get under my skin, but most of the time, it’s just kind of background noise. I can’t get upset every time I think about it, or I’d never stop being upset, and I can’t live like that, can I?”

“I guess not. Wow. You’re…really tough.”

“Heh, not by choice.”

Test Tube definitely isn’t sure what to say to that. “I’m still really sorry, though. I should’ve thought before I spoke. I think both of us have been having kinda a foot in mouth kinda day, huh? Or, uh, wheel in mouth kinda day, I guess.”

Cabby nudges Test Tube gently, her smile returning. “Hey, I’m allowed to be a little out of it, I’m not feeling well! You don’t even have an excuse.”

Maybe it isn’t quite as much of a foot in mouth day as Test Tube thought, because at least she manages to stop herself from saying actually, intense romantic feelings can cause decrease in activity in the frontal cortex, which is responsible for many important brain functions such as reasoning, impulse control, and social interaction, so basically the massive crush I have on you is literally making my brain work less well whenever I’m around you, like, on a neurobiological level. Instead she opts for, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Test Tube spends a few minutes flipping through Cabby’s copy of The Princess Bride--it’s illustrated, which the copy she read as a kid wasn’t, so she’s enjoying seeing the art. Suddenly she feels something land against her shoulder–something metal, but warmer than metal should be in a room of this temperature. She jolts involuntarily, and Cabby frantically shoves herself away.

“Ah, Test Tube, I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you there!”

“No, no worries! I was just surprised by how hot you were.” Well, that didn’t come out how she meant it. Foot in mouth, indeed. “I mean–temperature hot! I didn’t mean–I mean, not that you’re not–but also not like that, I mean, you’re very feverish.”

Her moment of awkward floundering makes Cabby laugh again. Test Tube knows MePhone rescinded the no-laughter law a long time ago, but seriously, such a cute laugh could not be legal. “Test Tube, I know what you meant.” Her (perfect, beautiful) laugh subsides into coughs, and she takes another sip of her tea. “Ack, don’t make me laugh right now.”

“Sorry.” Talk about temperature-hot, Test Tube’s face feels pretty warm right now herself.

Cabby sighs, sliding down from her propped-up position until she’s flat against the bed. “I know I’m kind of no fun right now, but I’m just…really tired.”

“I mean, you’re sick, it’s allowed!” Test Tube pats her on the shoulder awkwardly. “You should get some sleep. I can leave, if I’m keeping you up.”

“No, no, no!” Cabby hastens to say. “I like having you here! You aren’t keeping me up. Heh, if anything I’ve just proven I very much can fall asleep with you here.” She pauses for a minute, and then– “I mean, if you have something you’d rather be doing, I don’t mind if you leave, but–”

“No, I can stay,” Test Tube interrupts her. “You said it yourself. You don’t like being alone.” Cabby reaches up to squeeze Test Tube’s hand, which makes Test Tube feel like she’s about to shatter right then and there. “But you do have to sleep, okay? Sleep allows for the release of cytokines, which help your immune system fight illness.”

“Mm-hmm, I did know that.” Cabby’s voice is starting to slur, as if she’s almost talking in her sleep. “You’re cute when you infodump, though.” She turns over, facing Test Tube, eyes fluttering shut. Test Tube’s heart rate spikes.

Just before she falls asleep, Cabby says something that Test Tube can’t quite hear, but she could swear it’s “as you wish.”

(“You’re reading into it!” Test Tube insists later, once she’s back in her cabin getting ready for bed. “She didn’t mean anything.”

“Well, yeah, but you said she was reading the Princess Bride when you were there, right? Isn’t the whole thing that ‘as you wish’ really means ‘I love you?’”

“Wh–Fan!” Test Tube sits bolt upright, flustered. “That’s definitely not what she meant. She was running a fever and falling asleep, she probably had no idea what she was saying.”

“Sure, whatever, if you say so.”)

Chapter Text

Test Tube could listen to Cabby read out loud forever.

She’s been dropping by the library every day to see if Cabby is back–Dr. Fizz had come in to check on her while Test Tube was still there, and had insisted Test Tube leave to let Cabby rest, so she hadn’t seen her since. With anyone else she would’ve argued that Cabby could clearly rest just fine with her there, but Dr. Fizz has a look he’ll give you if you disobey him that has you reminding yourself under your breath that he’s deeply committed to his Hippocratic Oath and you don’t need to fear for your life.

A few days of bedrest seem to be just what the doctor both figuratively and literally ordered, though, because Cabby seems to be feeling a lot better. She still audibly has a bit of a frog in her throat, but her energy is certainly back. She’s reading animatedly, gesturing wildly with her free hand and doing different voices for all the characters. Test Tube showed up about 20 minutes ago, when there was a whole circle of kids there, but by now all but one have been picked up. The last little girl, a roll of bright pink tape, is sitting watching Cabby in rapt amazement. Test Tube is equally absorbed in watching her.

Just as Cabby finishes a chapter, Test Tube senses someone beside her and sees two other objects have appeared to stand behind the kid–a pair of headphones connected to a battery pack, and a lamp that gives off pale blue light. The lamp kneels down and playfully picks up the tape roll, causing her to squeak and giggle. “Ahh, mom! You scared me!” She gives her mother puppy dog eyes that Test Tube would frankly not be able to say no to. “Can I stay for one more chapter, please?”

Before her mom can answer, Cabby interjects. “Ah, I’m sorry, Spike Tape, but I’ve been a little bit under the weather, and I really need to rest my voice.” She coughs a little and clears her throat. “I hope you’re back next time, though! You’ve been a wonderful audience.”

“Really?” Spike Tape’s eyes light up, and she turns to her mothers. “Did you hear that? She said I was a wonderful audience!”

“Yep, we heard!” replies the headphones. “Did you notice Test Tube is here too?”

Clearly Spike Tape did not, and her eyes light up. She looks a little shy, but with prompting from her moms, she stands up and walks over to Test Tube. “Hi, um, I really like your show, and you’re my second favorite contestant.”

Test Tube breaks out into a grin. “Wowie golly gee whiz, what an honor! Now I gotta know who your favorite is, though.”

Spike Tape smiles timidly (adorable!) and points her thumb at Cabby, who lights up in an ecstatic smile of her own (an entirely different kind of adorable!) 

“Oh, that’s so kind of you!” she says, practically glowing. “It was lovely to have you today.”

Spike Tape stands there for a moment, then looks between Cabby and Test Tube. “Are you guys friends now? ‘Cause I didn’t like it when you argued on the show.”

Cabby and Test Tube both glance at each other, a little startled. The headphones go to put a hand on Spike Tape’s shoulder, mouthing “sorry.” Out loud she says, “Spike Tape, what have we talked about with asking strangers personal questions?”

“Sorry!” cries Spike Tape, hiding her face in her mom’s side.

“Oh, sweetheart, don’t worry!” Cabby reassures her. “Test Tube and I have certainly had our ups and downs,” understatement of the century, but Test Tube can’t blame Cabby for not fleshing out her personal issues to a six-year-old, “but I think we’ve got everything worked out, and Test Tube has been nothing but kind to me since the competition.”

“Yeah!” Test Tube awkwardly scoots a little closer to Cabby. “I know we didn’t start out on the best foot, but I couldn’t be happier to call Cabby my, uh, friend.” She desperately hopes her hesitation wasn’t glaringly obvious.

Spike Tape peeks out from her mom’s arms, smiling a little.

“Hey, buddy, how about we go pick out a book to read at home?” prompts the lamp.

Spike Tape’s shyness seems to disintegrate. “Yeah!” She starts to make a break for the kids’ section, before she’s interrupted–

“What do you say to Miss Cabby for reading with you?”

“THANK YOU!”

“Spike Tape, in the library you have to be quiet–” the lamp breaks off, sighing, and shakes her head with a smile at Cabby and Test Tube, before both parents follow their daughter to the kids’ section.

“What a spirited little girl,” Cabby remarks.

“Mm, yeah.” Test Tube chuckles. “We’ve gotta introduce her to Fan at some point.”

“Oh, absolutely. The two of them would get along like a house on fire.” Cabby pulls out a file and writes in it, then replaces it in her drawer and looks up at Test Tube. “Also, hi! I didn’t expect to see you here today.”

Test Tube elects to not tell her how frequently she’s been visiting the library to see if Cabby is back. “Yeah, I’m just glad you’re feeling better! For the record, ‘a little bit under the weather’ is a massive understatement.”

“Pff, it was just a fever of 103 and a cough like a damsel in a period drama who’s dying of consumption. Nothing much.” Cabby laughs, and Test Tube remembers how much she missed that laugh over the past few days. “It’s nice to be worried about, though.”

Cabby makes a gesture that Test Tube at first thinks is for a hug, and by the time she realizes it’s actually just a Smart Alliance handshake, it’s too late. Cabby lets out a small gasp as Test Tube’s arms wrap around her, and before Test Tube can pull away and apologize, Cabby is returning the hug. You wouldn’t expect a hug from a metal object who’s all sharp corners to be nice, but it surprisingly is. Test Tube doesn’t want to break the embrace.

Unfortunately, after a few seconds, Cabby does, rolling back a little bit. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t see you!” she says to someone behind Test Tube.

“No, no, we didn’t mean to interrupt you!” When Test Tube turns, she sees it’s the parents from before. Spike Tape is still browsing books in the kids’ section. “We just wanted to introduce ourselves quickly. I’m Headset, and my wife is Run Light.”

“Oh, nice to meet you!” Cabby replies. “I’m Cabby and this is Test Tube, but you know that already, of course.”

“Of course!” Run Light laughs. “You two were both our favorites too! Actually, Cabby, we have a quick proposition for you, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all!”

“Well, we’re both stage managers at the local theater on our island, and we know you’re very busy with the library, but…have you ever had an interest in dramaturgy?”

“Oh!” Cabby’s eyebrows shoot up. “I actually haven’t ever considered it, but now that I think about it, that sounds right up my alley. I’m still getting settled here, but once things are a bit more concrete, I’d love to try it.”

“Yeah, that sounds perfect for you!” Test Tube added, having absolutely no idea what dramaturgy was.

“You don’t actually know what dramaturgy is, do you?” Cabby asks.

“...nnno.”

Cabby chuckles, pulling out a file with a pair of those laughing and crying theatre masks on it. “A dramaturg is a literary advisor who researches the background of a theatrical work to allow the cast, crew, and director to better understand the show they’re a part of.”

“Oh, so I was right, that does sound perfect for you!” Test Tube turns to Run Light and Headset. “Y’know, I’ve got basically everything scientific there is to know under my belt, but I’ve never been able to understand how all you artsy people do what you do! It’s impressive, honestly.”

“Hey, I white-knuckled my way through getting a passing grade in high school chem and then did the bare minimum of STEM classes in college to be able to graduate, so I could definitely never do all the cool stuff you do!” replies Run Light. “We all have our strengths and weaknesses.” 

“‘Passing grade?’ C’mon, you’ve told me you got at least one D.” Headset elbows her wife playfully.

“Yeah, yeah.” Run Light pulls out a flier and hands it to Cabby. “We’ve actually got shows all next week! If you’re interested in coming and seeing what we’re about, we’d be more than happy to give the two of you a friends and family discount.”

“Oh wow, thank you!” Cabby takes the flier with a grin. “Really lovely to meet the two of you.”

“Yeah, thank you so much for doing this.” Headset glances back towards where her daughter is still grabbing books. “Spike Tape has never had an easy time reading, y’know, she’s dyslexic, but she loves stories, so she loves being read out loud to. Having her favorite contestant read out loud to her is basically her dream come true. She hasn’t talked about anything else since she found out.”

Cabby lights up with pleasant surprise. “Oh! How wonderful to hear.” She fidgets a little as she adds, “You know, it…it’s really important to me that nobody who comes to my library ever feel like their access needs are unimportant, or something to be ashamed of.”

“Yeah, absolutely,” Run Light glances at her wife, then adds, “You know, we’ve had to jump through so many hoops to get Spike Tape her accommodations at school, and it’s been really rough on her. I think for a while she was embarrassed at how it made her different from the other kids, y’know? She has to work with a teacher during reading time, and she was worried about standing out. But actually, she’s been feeling a whole lot better about it since she saw the finale of Inanimate Insanity Invitational. We asked her about it, and she said, ‘I know it’s okay that I need help, because Cabby needs help from her files and she still won the game!’ So…you’ve made a big difference for her.”

Cabby lets out a little “oh,” and Test Tube turns to see she has her hands clamped over her mouth, eyes visibly watering.

“I’m sorry, was that too much?” asks Run Light. “I didn’t mean to–”

“No, it–it means a lot to hear,” Cabby manages to choke out. “Ah–would you excuse me? I just–I need to go, but…thank you so much for coming. Really.” And with that, she rolls off. Test Tube thinks she sees her rubbing at her eyes.

“Geez, I had no idea that would upset her so much,” mumbles Run Light. “Could you let her know I’m really sorry?”

“No, no, I don’t think she’s upset,” Test Tube reassured her. “I mean, I can’t read her mind, but I’m pretty sure it’s a good thing. She’s just a little overwhelmed.”

“Good.” Run Light let out a breath. “She’s a good role model for Spike Tape, I think. Both of you are.”

Suddenly, there’s a little hand tugging on Headset’s cord. “Speak of the devil and she will appear,” she laughs, picking her daughter up and spinning her around before setting her down. “Whaddaya got?”

Spike Tape holds up the book– A Wrinkle in Time.

“Ooh, that’s a pretty good one!” Test Tube remarks. “I think I read it when I was a few years older than you. It’s kinda complicated for your age, but you seem like a smart kid. I’m sure you’ll be able to follow the story, no problem.”

Spike Tape smiles so wide it looks like it hurts.

“Wow! I’m super excited to read it together!” Run Light kisses her daughter on the forehead. “But for right now, we have to do your favorite, run errands!”

Spike Tape groans. “Ughhh, Mom!”

“Buuut, don’t worry, as soon as we get home we can start on your book!” 

“Okay, fine,” Spike Tape concedes. “Bye, Miss Test Tube!”

“Bye, guys!” Test Tube waves at the family as they leave. “Hope to see you around!”

Once the three of them are out the door, Test Tube lets out a breath and starts looking around for Cabby. After 10 fruitless minutes, she’s about to just give up the ghost and just call her when she hears quiet sobs from behind one of the bookshelves. She rushes around the corner to find the aisle completely empty except for Cabby, who’s turned away from her, crying so hard she’s shaking.

“Cabby?” whispers Test Tube, and Cabby jumps. 

She looks up at Test Tube, scrubbing at her eyes and sniffling. Without hesitating, Test Tube goes over and puts her arms around her, and she breaks into tears again. It takes several minutes of her softly sobbing for her to be able to talk.

“Ugh, I shouldn’t have run off. I don’t know what came over me, I just—”

“Yeah, I know,” Test Tube mumbles, running a hand over Cabby’s back. In any other situation she’d wonder if that was an awkward thing to do, but right now she’s too worried about Cabby to care. “Just breathe, okay? You’re safe.”

“You don’t have to comfort me,” Cabby chokes out, still shaking.

“I want to,” Test Tube replies. “You’re my…I care about you. Besides, Fan gets panic attacks, and usually I’m the nearest person when that happens, so I’m pretty used to calming people down when they’re freaking out.”

“I don’t even know why I’m crying like this. It’s such a silly little thing.”

“No, not at all. It totally makes sense.”

Cabby sighs shakily. “It’s just…when I was planning for the library, I did so while trying to account for as many disabilities and access needs as I could. I meant what I said about nobody feeling less-than for any of those things.” Then, a little quieter. “The way I sometimes have.”

Test Tube shifts a little closer to Cabby. “I know. And you’ve done a great job. I think it’s really cool that you’re paying so much attention to those things.”

Cabby smiles sadly. “Even if that’s what I’m doing now, I often feel that I was…less than a good role model of taking the help one needs when I was on the show. For much of it, I wasn’t in particularly a good place myself, and coping with a lot of my own internalized ableism in ways that I worry could have done more hindrance than help to viewers like Spike Tape and her family.”

“That’s not really fair,” Test Tube tells her. “You’re not a character, you’re a person. I’m glad you’re doing better now, obviously, but it’s not your fault that you felt otherwise before. Just because you were on a show, doesn’t mean that it was ever your job to try to present a good role model, rather than just being honest.”

“Mm, I suppose you’re right.” Cabby wipes her eyes. “Still, though, I had no idea that my time on the show would make such a positive impact. Especially on a little kid like Spike Tape–a kid who was ashamed of the fact that her brain worked differently than those around her, and of what she needed to do to accommodate that. The way I used to be. And now she’s more confident that she’s not wrong just for existing. And clearly her mothers support her so much, and–” Her voice breaks a little, and she clears her throat. “I’ve never really had anyone in my corner like that.”

“Well,” Test Tube says, “you have a lot of people in your corner now.”

The two of them sit there for a minute, clinging to one another, Cabby still sniffling and hiccuping a little. When Test Tube is pretty sure Cabby is mostly calm, she adds, “speaking of your corner, your literal corner has been kinda jamming into my side for a while now. I didn’t want to say anything, since you were so clearly having a moment, but–”

“Oh! My mistake.” Cabby scoots back a little, out of Test Tube’s arms, and Test Tube suddenly finds herself wishing she hadn’t said anything. Holding Cabby like that would be worth a little discomfort any day. Although Cabby does laugh her perfect laugh as she moves, so maybe that evens the scales a little. “By the way, would you be interested in coming to this with me?” She hands the flier to Test Tube–it has a picture of a ship on a stormy sea, and says “Twelfth Night” in fancy, swirly font. “I’m free the evening of the 14th, if you are.”

“Uh, yeah, sure thing!” Test Tube replies. “You might have to talk me through the plot first, though. Early Modern English always kinda sounds like gibberish to me.” She nudges Cabby gently as she adds, “‘Niche example of intelligence,’ and all that.”

Cabby giggles. “I’d be more than happy to.” She pulls the theatre mask file from earlier out again. “Twelfth Night is, in my personal opinion, the best Shakespeare play,” she smirks a little, “and without a doubt, the gayest.”

Test Tube almost chokes on her own spit at that. “I, ahem, I didn’t know there was, like a definitive ranking of the gayest Shakespeare plays.”

“Oh, you don’t even know the half of it,” Cabby tells her. “But going into all that will take all day, so should I just explain Twelfth Night?”

Test Tube plops down on the ground. “Sure, go ahead.”

“Alright, so before the start of the play, a pair of twins, Viola and Sebastian, are caught in a shipwreck and separated from each other. Viola washes up on the shores of an unfamiliar country, Illyria. Now, Illyria is ruled over by the Duke Orsino–or the Count Orsino, Shakespeare really can’t seem to make up his mind–who…”

Test Tube sits there and listens to Cabby until her butt is practically numb, but she really couldn’t care less. She’s sure Cabby saying she’s cute when she infodumps had just been a product of her fever, and that had she been fully lucid she wouldn’t have necessarily used the word cute, but privately, Test Tube absolutely would say the same for Cabby. She’s so excited that Test Tube finds herself getting excited along with her, even though she never would have cared much about Shakespeare before.

In fact, despite it having been morning when Test Tube had arrived at the library, it’s late afternoon by the time she steps out the door. It’s still warm and sunny, though, Test Tube notices. She’s used to living on the other side of the equator, so it’s still kind of strange to her that February is a summer month, not a winter one.

Wait–it’s February .

And if she’s going to the play with Cabby on the 14th, then that’s…

“Oh, gadzooks.”

Chapter Text

“Look, just because I’m going alone with the person I have a huge crush on to what she calls the ‘gayest Shakespeare play’ on Valentines’ Day, doesn’t necessarily make it a date.”

Bot and Fan share a look, and then say in mutually exasperated unison, “Test Tube.”

“Okay, okay, I get how that sounds,” Test Tube sighs, fidgeting with the bowtie Fan gave her. “But it’s not like that! There’s no way it’s like that.”

“See, you say that,” Fan teases, “but I think this might be one step closer to CabTube becoming canon for real.”

Bot makes a face. “CabTube? I thought we were going with VialFile?”

“Okay, but that’s not even either of their names.”

“Well, yeah, but it rhymes !”

“You guys are so weird.” Test Tube rolls her eyes lovingly. “But are you sure the bowtie isn’t overkill? And/or, does it make me look too much like Doctor Who?”

“First of all, it’s The Doctor,” Fan corrects. “Second, no! You look great, Cabby will think you look great too, and when you two get married, make sure to thank your number one wingmen.” He glances at Bot. “Or one wingman and one, uh, nonbinary wingperson?”

Bot shrugs. “Nah, I think ‘wingman’ is gender neutral, like how people who are in their first year of high school or college are ‘freshmen.’ Not ‘freshpeople.’”

“Yeah, because ‘freshpeople’ is weird. It sounds like a booth at a farmers’ market for cannibals. ‘Mm, yum, get your fresh people here!’”

Their goofing around silences immediately when there’s a knock on the door. Bot extends their legs so they can see through the window without being seen by whoever’s on the other side. They shrink back down practically vibrating with excitement, and stage whisper, “IT’S CABBY.”

Test Tube’s heart leaps into her throat, and whether it’s from excitement or panic she can’t tell.

“You didn’t tell me she was coming to pick you up, how romantic!” Fan hisses, and then adds, “don’t you dare!” as he grabs Test Tube’s hands to stop her desperate attempt to take off the bowtie.

“I didn’t know she was coming to pick me up! Get off!” She tries her best to wrestle her hands out of Fan’s, but he’s holding on surprisingly tightly.

It is at that exact moment Bot decides to open the door.

“...hi.” Cabby’s mouth is quirked at the corner. “Do I want to know…?”

“Oh, hiiii, Cabby,” says Fan cheerfully. “I’m just helping Test Tube with her bowtie. Incidentally, doesn’t she look incredibly dashing in this bow tie?”

“I’d certainly say so,” Bot jumps in, rushing over to stand next to Test Tube. “We need a third opinion though. Cabby, what do you think?”

“I would say the bowtie is a nice touch, yes.” Cabby smiles, almost to herself more than anything. “But in my opinion, Test Tube always looks dashing.”

Test Tube could just about die. The only thing keeping her from shattering right on the spot is that she still has to shoot Fan and Bot a glare for the way they immediately grin at each other, because, c’mon, Cabby might see them!

“Oh, thanks,” Test Tube finally manages. “I really like that scarf you have.” And it certainly was a nice scarf–kelly green and a little glittery. It looked good on her, but then, what didn’t look good on her?

“Ah, thank you!” Cabby fidgets with it a little shyly. “I know it isn’t really scarf weather, but I wanted to dress up a little, you know?”

“You look really nice!” Bot says cheerily. “Especially since you’re wearing a green scarf, and Test Tube’s bowtie is blue, sooooo…it’s almost like you’re matching?”

“Oh yeah, you’re so right!” Fan nods emphatically. Test Tube is going to have words with both of them later.

“I’m sorry to cut this lovely conversation short,” Test Tube says, desperate to cut the disastrous conversation short, “but Cabby and I have a da–uhhh, an appointment to get to.” Gosh darn Fan for getting in her head about the whole date thing. “So we gotta hit the road.”

“Oh, yes, capital idea!” Cabby exclaims. Capital idea. Ugh, she’s so cute. “Fan, Bot, it’s been lovely to talk to you. Hope to see you around!”

“Yeah, I’m sure we will see you around!” Fan grins, and Bot giggles a little.

Test Tube loves them both so much, and she also wants to kill them so much.

“Well, that was a bit odd,” Cabby muses as soon as they get outside. She noticed.

“Yeah, I dunno what’s up with them.” Test Tube grits her teeth. “So how exactly are we getting to the theater?”

“You’ll see,” is all Cabby replies. Cryptic, but once they get to the shore…

“We’re–we’re taking Boaty ?” Test Tube exclaims. “The same Boaty that was on the Unvitational Committee?”

“To be fair, Boaty did vote to not melt MePhone.” A ramp descends, and Cabby gestures for Test Tube to ascend. “After you.”

“Okay, I know you don’t think someone being anti-murder is in and of itself a reason to trust someone.” Still, Test Tube tentatively walks up the ramp.

“Well, out of the members of the Unvitational Committee, Boaty is by far one of the most innocent,” Cabby says as she follows Test Tube, “and we all seem to be forgiving people who did far worse things, so…”

“I take it you disagree with MePhone’s decision to let Springy off the hook.”

“I don’t…disagree, necessarily,” Cabby says hesitantly. “It’s just…not what I would have done. Maybe that says something about me more than anything, but…”

“He’s a little too into murder for your tastes?” Test Tube suggests.

Cabby shrugs. “I mean, yes, obviously that, but is it bad if I say that wasn’t what made me say so?” She drums her fingers nervously on the railing. “It was…the replica of Bot he made. After all they’ve been through to find themself, and just, seeing their face when they saw that, I just saw red.” With a dry little chuckle, she adds, “I’m very much against violence on principle, but if Balloon hadn’t held me back…”

“I mean, I can’t say I don’t get it,” Test Tube agrees. “If anyone laid a hand on Bot, inhibitions be darned…” 

“Darned indeed,” Cabby replies. “Obviously, I certainly wouldn’t have wanted Springy to stay dead, after all that would make me no better than him, would it?” She sighs. “But, I don’t know, I wanted something.” After a brief silence, she adds, “Speaking of Bot, have they been talking to you and Fan about…?”

Test Tube nods. She’s right, there have been a lot of big conversations among their little makeshift family as of late. Bot has been much more honest about how the conditions of their existence make them feel, and while they’ve made it very clear how much they love Fan and Test Tube… “I’m so glad they’re feeling more comfortable being so open about this stuff, but that doesn’t make it any less brutal to hear, y’know? Which is kinda the point, and probably what I need, but I just, I had no idea how much they were hurting. Fan and I were so focused on recreating Bow that we never considered the idea that we were making a whole new life. Someone who just sprung into existence with the expectation to be just like a dead person they’ve never met, who had to construct their own identity from the ground, who didn’t even get to have a childhood .” She glances over at Cabby, her voice suddenly shaky as she says, “So they told you they wanted to talk to us before?”

“It wasn’t because they were afraid to talk to you,” Cabby reassures, but then she adds, “Well, they kind of were, but it was more like…they wanted to spare your feelings as much as they could, while still not sugarcoating their own. They love you so much, and I don’t think that could ever change. Trust me, you can feel hurt by someone’s actions and love them like nothing else, and neither of those cancel each other out.”

Test Tube sniffles a little, rubbing her eyes.. “I know I’ve said it before, but thank you for being there for them. It’s good they have someone to talk to about this stuff aside from me and Fan.”

“Well, it seems like things are going well between the three of you, so I’m glad it’s helping,” Cabby replies. “By the by, how is Fan doing with all this?”

“You know, okay, actually! I mean, it’s Fan, he always is kinda…reactive, I guess you’d call it, so I won’t say there haven’t been bumps in the road. But he loves Bot, and that’s what matters, so he’s really making an effort to be as receptive to them as he can be.” She chuckles a little as she adds, “and, I mean, Fan and Bot have recently found common ground in making fun of me to no end, so…”

Test Tube realizes she’s messed up as Cabby’s brow furrows. “Make fun of you about what?” When she sees Test Tube’s sudden nervous expression, she says, “no, never mind. It’s personal, I get it.” She looks pensive for a moment. “You know, I haven’t spent much time with Fan, and I think I’d like to rectify that. I’ve always thought the two of us had quite a bit in common.”

“Huh, I’ve never thought about it that way, but you’re kinda right,” Test Tube realizes. Both have a love of gathering knowledge, but tend to prefer being a bit more distanced from the people they’re studying at first–but regardless, both clearly care about their friends fiercely and without bounds. The more she thinks, the more similar they seem, which, now that she’s looking in the face of the fact that she demonized Cabby for things she loved Fan for…makes her seem like a real jeebweezer. “The two of you really–AGH!”

Test Tube is cut off by the sudden bump of Boaty hitting the shore. She stumbles, but thankfully manages to get her bearings quite quickly, clinging to the railing. Cabby is not quite so lucky, and she would have rolled all the way down the deck had Test Tube not thought fast and pulled Cabby into her arms to keep her from slipping.

Her quick thinking did not extend, however, to what on earth she’s supposed to do once she has a hold of Cabby, whose face is suddenly very close to her own, eyes wide and startled, breathing heavily, maybe even a little bit flushed? No, no, Test Tube is seeing things. She clears her throat and lets Cabby go, stepping back, hoping Cabby can’t see that she’s blushing herself. “Ah, sorry, I was just trying to–I mean, you were slipping, I didn’t want you to get hurt…”

“It’s no problem, I appreciate it,” Cabby replies, smiling…maybe a little shyly? no, Test Tube is definitely seeing things. “Well, at any rate, we’re here.”

The two of them disembark and set off in comfortable silence through the little island town. It’s a nice place, sunny but with enough of a breeze to be uncomfortably hot. There are trees and flowerpots dotted along the sidewalk, and colorful storefronts hosting all sorts of businesses–restaurants, bookstores, clothing stores, cafes. The thing that most of them have in common is the decor–shades of red, pink, and white, and a lot of hearts. Test Tube almost points this out, but is luckily interrupted by Cabby, who points ahead and says, “that looks like the place.”

Indeed, ahead of them is a quaint, old fashioned theater with a poster exactly the same as the flier Run Light and Headset gave Cabby. When they go up to the box office, the object working there, a paper ticket, flashes them a smile. “Friends and family discount, right?”

“Mm-hmm,” Cabby replies, pulling out her wallet to pay. “I met your stage managers at the library I run, and that’s what they told me at any rate.”

“Well that’s good,” the ticket says. “I was told to look out for a filing cabinet and a green vial, but whenever I’m told to look out for a specific object, I always worry another of the same object is going to show up, you know?” They laugh to themself. “I’d hate to have a mix up and give the discount to the wrong people, and a lovely couple such as yourself misses out, huh? Especially on Valentines’ Day, to boot!”

“Oh, uh, we aren’t–” Test Tube begins to stammer, but Cabby cuts her off.

“Nope, you’ve got the right people!” Her laugh sounds a little forced, but no less adorable than usual. “Thank you so much!” She takes Test Tube by the hand and leads her to their seats, picking up a program for each of them on their way in.

Test Tube picks up her program and flips idly through it, trying to find the best way to put what’s on her mind into words. “So, um, why’d you just go along and let the box office person think…I mean, not that I have a problem with the assumption that…that is to say, it just seemed like…”

“Test Tube, calm down, I know what you mean.” Cabby smiled a little. “I don’t know, I just didn’t want to waste time arguing.”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Test Tube agrees. “Also, I can’t blame you, everything is always weird on Valentines’ Day anyway. Ridiculous holiday in my opinion, honestly.”

“I absolutely concur,” Cabby sighs. “Especially given some…” she opens her drawer and begins shuffling around for a file, “...past experiences.” Test Tube is, of course, painfully curious, but unfortunately, it’s just that moment when the lights start to go down, and Cabby whispers, “never mind, I’ll explain later.”

Test Tube was not expecting to have as much fun as she ends up having. She’d read a little Shakespeare in high school, sure, but it was always the tragedies, and always something she would just skim to get out of the way so she could do the science homework she found much more interesting. Maybe it’s something about being right next to someone who’s laughing heartily and cheerily, and it’s hard for Test Tube not to find herself laughing along with her.

“So, what’d you think?” Cabby asks as soon as the lights come up for intermission.

“I really like it!” Test Tube replies. “It’s really funny, obviously, but there’s also this underlying feeling of, I dunno, loneliness, I guess I would call it? I can’t really put my finger on it.”

“Hm, you’re very right,” Cabby muses. “There’s a theme of grief, I suppose, with both Olivia grieving her dead brother, and then both of the twins believing their sibling is dead as well. Rather an odd choice of theme for a comedy, I would say. Some would even classify it a ‘problem play’, that is, a play that’s neither a tragedy or comedy.” Test Tube can’t help but smile–good golly is it cute when she gets going like this. “And then there’s also the fact that almost every character is trapped in some kind of absurd romantic web and deeply in love with someone who does not or cannot love them back.” She winks as she adds, “Including, of course, Antonio, because anyone who tries to interpret his love for Sebastian as at all heterosexual is a coward. I mean, I’m all for dedicated platonic love, but c’mon. ‘If you will not murder me for my love, let me be your servant?’ How else is one supposed to interpret that?”

“I dunno how else you could interpret that,” Test Tube agreed. “By the way, uh, what you were saying before the show started about Valentines’ Day…what was that? I don’t mean to pry, but you said you were going to tell me later, and now I’m really curious.”

“Ah, that.” Cabby’s drawer opens, and with a minute of shuffling, she pulls out the file she must have been searching for earlier. It has what appears to be a pair of lab safety goggles on the front. “It was nothing too serious. I was a freshman in college,” fresh people , Test Tube can’t help but recall, “I had zero experience with dating, I had a close friend with whom I thought I might have a connection other than friendship, I thought it would be romantic to confess my feelings on Valentines’ Day, and I got rejected. Hard.” 

Test Tube grimaces, partly from sympathy and partly from the fact that talking about anything related to romance with Cabby felt like a whole orchestra of alarm bells were ringing in her brain. “Gee, I’m sorry. That really sucks.”

Cabby giggles. “Oh, no, no, I’m very much over it. It just kind of puts a sour taste on the whole holiday, you know?”

“Makes sense,” Test Tube agreed. “If you don’t mind my asking, this person was…lab safety goggles?”

“Mm-hmm,” Cabby replies. “Chemistry and physics double major. As smart as they make them and twice as stubborn.” She chuckles a bit. “Exactly my type, y’know? In retrospect, I didn’t stand a chance not to fall for her.”

The lights must be specifically trying to screw with Test Tube today, because just as she’s about to ask what exactly Cabby means by that little comment, they start to go down.

Maybe it’s not entirely a bad thing, though, because Test Tube has her hand on the armrest, and part way through Cabby’s hand lands on top of it. Tentatively, Test Tube takes it in her own, monitoring Cabby out of the corner of her eye. Cabby happens to be looking at her as well, and when they catch eyes, Cabby shoots Test Tube a smile, which Test Tube returns. The two keep their hands clasped together throughout the rest of the play. They only let go to applaud at the end, and although Test Tube knows it would be extremely disrespectful not to, she finds herself wishing the play could go on just a little longer, for just a few more minutes of Cabby’s hand being in hers.

Test Tube isn’t quite sure what to say once they exit the house, so she settles for, “That was really fun, Cabby. Thanks for bringing me with you.”

“Of course,” Cabby replies. “Thank you for coming with me.” She looks around. “Now, when I called ahead to confirm our discount, Run Light suggested we wait around after the show to talk to her and Headset. Do you mind waiting with me?”

“Of course,” Test Tube replies. “I mean, I don’t mind. Not, like, ‘of course I mind, I came with you to this but I don’t want to spend time with you’, heh. Obviously I do want to spend time with you. So I don’t mind waiting.” To keep herself from blabbering endlessly, she cuts herself off with a gesture to the concessions table. “Do you want anything to eat?”

“Oh, Test Tube, you don’t have to buy me anything.”

“No, no, it’s my treat! You got the tickets, after all.”

“Hmm, that is true.” Cabby surveys the table. “In that case, those cupcakes look nice.”

“Done and done.” Test Tube pays for the cupcake and hands it to Cabby. There’s a chocolate kiss on the top, which Cabby plucks off and hands to Test Tube. “Oh, do you not like those?”

“No, I like them,” Cabby says. “I just thought I’d share.” It takes every bit of Test Tube’s strength to not make a joke about Cabby giving her a kiss, because she absolutely cannot make this any weirder than it already is. Cabby takes a bite of the cupcake. “Mm, this really is a good cupcake. Thank you.”

“No problem,” Test Tube replies. Then, thankfully, as it means she doesn’t have to think of more things to say, “Oh, hey, Headset and Run Light! How are you!”

“Pretty good,” says Run Light. “Good to see you both came!” 

“Good to see you too!” Cabby speaks up cheerily.

“What’d you think of the show?” Headset asks.

“Oh, it was wonderful!” And Cabby is off, talking animatedly with the two about every aspect of the play they had just seen. Test Tube doesn’t really have anything to add, so she just sits back and watches as Cabby pulls out her theatre file and goes on excitedly about the text, the lighting, the costumes, the acting, the historical context of the play itself. She’s so enthusiastic, and clearly Headset and Run Light are impressed.

“Wow, clearly you have a lot of expertise here,” Run Light remarks.

“She has a lot of expertise in everything,” Test Tube jumps in. Cabby shoots her a smile, and her heart jumps in her chest a little as Cabby takes her hand again.

“We’ll definitely be reaching out again about the dramaturg thing,” Headset adds. “You seem like a great choice. If that’s something you think you can handle, of course.”

“Oh, I’ll absolutely be able to handle it!” Cabby promises.

“If you say so.” Headset then turns to Test Tube. “Don’t let her overwork herself, yeah?” She points her thumb at Run Light. “When this one and I were first dating, it was a struggle to get her to sleep every so often.” Run Light puts a hand to her chest and gasps in mock offense.

“Yeah, I mean, my friends sometimes have to drag me out of my lab, so–” It takes a moment for it to register that Headset had just implied that Test Tube and Cabby were dating. This is the second time today! What is it they’re doing that makes it seem like that? “I’ll do my best, though.”

“I know my limits, I promise.” Cabby rolls her eyes playfully, bumping her shoulder gently against Test Tube’s.

“Ah, it’s been great to talk to you two,” Run Light says, “but we still have to do our nightly fight with the prop cabinet to get the piece of crap to lock.” She freezes and then adds, “I mean, uh, nothing against cabinets in general. It’s not alive. Headset built it.”

Cabby laughs. “Oh, no, I don't take offense.”

Headset nudges her wife. “Well, I take offense! It doesn’t suck that much!”

“Babe, you know you’re a better carpenter than me, but it truly does suck that much. It doesn’t have hinges, you have to hold the lock upside down to get it to go in and kick the doors to get it to close all the way. It’s, like, a 10 minute process for each door.”

Test Tube smiles. “Welp, I guess we’d best leave you to it, then. Hope to see ya around!”

And, if Test Tube thought she had gotten out of the awkwardness, no such luck, because as they’re leaving, Run Light calls out, “Have a nice rest of your date, you two!”

Once they’re outside, Test Tube works up the courage to say, “Any idea why people keep thinking the two of us are, um, together?”

“Well, this is just a shot in the dark,” Cabby replies dryly, “but you have been holding my hand this entire time.”

“You’re the one that started it!” Test Tube argues, but she doesn’t let go until the two of them are on the boat.

The trip across they chat idly about nothing in particular. Truth be told, all Test Tube can do is try to get the words off the tip of her tongue. Do you think maybe… is it possible you… I’ve been wanting to tell you… is there any chance you feel the same?

No such luck. They make it back to shore, Cabby hugs Test Tube goodbye, and the words she wants to say are stubbornly stuck in her throat.. She isn’t a crier, but right now she’s this close to bursting into tears.

Instead, she flops face down onto her bed and doesn’t move. Bot is already shut off for the night–they have to get up tomorrow morning for a cooking lesson from Tea Kettle, so they have to get their eight hours in early–and Test Tube can hear the shower running, which must be Fan, so she has a solid 10 minutes to wallow before she’s interrupted.

“I thought I heard you come in!” Fan’s voice is too cheery for Test Tube right now. “Soooo, how much time do I have to write my best man speech befoooooh you do not look like a happy camper right now. You okay?” Test Tube feels a little bit of weight on the bed next to her, and rolls over to find Fan’s expression twisted in concern. “She didn’t reject you, right? Because if she does, I don’t want to distract MePhone from whatever he has to do to prepare for Season 2, but I will call him and tell him to have his Life icon for her ready.” He laughs. “Just kidding. Mostly.”

Test Tube groans. “No, it was my fault. I didn’t say anything. Again. I was trying, but I can’t. Guess I’m just a coward.”

“Aw, Test Tube.” Fan puts a hand on her shoulder. “You’re one of the bravest people I know. But also, I get it, talking to people is scary. I mean, if we didn’t have that in common, we probably never would have become friends, but…Bot’s right. Cabby definitely has a thing for you. It’s worth the risk.”

“But what if it isn’t?” Test Tube complains. “If she doesn’t feel the same way, it’ll just mess up our friendship, and I’ve already messed things up enough with Cabby. I can’t afford to risk hurting her anymore.”

“But if she does feel the same way, won’t it just hurt even more if you don’t say something?” Fan cringes when Test Tube groans and pulls her pillow over her face again, and quickly adds, “I mean, ugh, I’m sure she won’t be hurt if she isn’t interested in you romantically. Your friendship would definitely be able to handle it. I mean, if you did the same with me, I definitely wouldn’t stop being friends with you over it.”

Test Tube peeks out from behind her pillow. “Well, firstly, our friendship is way different from mine and Cabby’s. You’ve been my best friend for a much longer time, and yeah, we’ve been through a few ups and downs, but nothing like me and Cabby. And two, you’re a guy, so that’s not even a possibility.”

“Okay, okay, chill out,” Fan says. “Listen, okay, how about I give you an ultimatum?”

Test Tube is dubious, but she says, “...okay.”

“You have until we leave for the hotel to tell her, or I’m telling her myself.” 

“Fan! You can’t do that!”

Fan puffs out his chest. “Too late. I’m sticking to it.” He smiles at her a little more sympathetically. “Plus, that way, if you just tell her pretty soon before we leave, and she doesn’t feel the same way, then you won’t have to see her all the time and feel weird about it. And if she does feel the same, then you two can still write to each other, call each other, and I’ve heard MePhone’s going to set up a permanent portal between the hotel and Paradise, so you’ll be able to visit whenever you want!”

“Okay, that does sound fine,” Test Tube admits. Then she pulls Fan into a hug. “I love you so much, you know that?”

“As you should,” Fan replies, rubbing her back. “I love you too.”

Chapter Text

“And, done!” Test Tube tightens the last screw to fasten the panel back onto Bot’s head. “Alright, go ahead, try it out!”

Bot takes a deep breath and snaps their fingers, and immediately the mint hue of their body fades, leaving a clear view of the late afternoon sun on the sea. “Whoa!” their disembodied voice exclaims. “This is so cool! I can’t see my hands!” They snap again, and reappear with a huge grin on their face. “Thanks so much, by the way.”

“Yeah, of course!” Test Tube replies. “What with everything, the least I owe ya is some neato robot superpowers, huh?”

Bot laughs as they spin, snapping to fade in and out of visibility. They pause and become fully visible again to say, “Maybe soon you could do that rice cooker.”

Test Tube snorts. “I was kinda joking about that, but hey, Tea Kettle is teaching you to cook, right? Could be useful.”

Bot comes over to put their arms around her. “Seriously, though. I know we’ve been having a lot of big conversations recently, and I still don’t really know how I feel about,” they gesture vaguely, “everything, but I want you and Fan to know how I feel because I love you guys, and it feels wrong to hide my feelings from you when they have to do with you. I’m not trying to imply that you owe me anything.”

“No, Bot, when I said the least I owed you, I didn’t mean it like that.” Test Tube returns the hug. “I like making fun upgrades for you. Engineering makes me happy, and seeing you happy makes me even more happy, so it’s a win-win situation.”

Bot smiles a bit as they pull away. “I know. I just really don’t want to drive a wedge in between the three of us, y’know?” 

Test Tube puts an arm around them, trying to comfort them. “Bot, if anything happens to drive a wedge between us, it’s Fan’s and my fault before it’d ever be yours. You didn’t ask to be in the situation you’re in, and I really can’t blame you for feeling conflicted. But also, I’d never let anything come between us, and I know Fan wouldn’t either, so don’t worry about that.”

“Yeah. I wouldn’t either. I just thought it was worth saying.” Bot breathes a sigh of relief.

“Of course.” Test Tube puts a hand on their head, where she had just put the panel back in. “By the way, Cabby says you’ve been talking about this stuff with her before you brought it to us.” When Bot cringes, she adds, “No, no, I’m not mad. I’m really glad you have someone else to talk to when you’re dealing with stuff that’s not me and Fan.”

“Yeah, I know,” Bot replies. “I just, uh…speak of the devil and she will appear, I guess?” They gesture down the beach, where Cabby is approaching. She sees them looking at her, grins, and waves.

“Oh, don’t give me that,” Test Tube grumbles, her gentle and serious demeanor dropping in favor of annoyance. “You clearly arranged for her to be here, because you and Fan are in cahoots to meddle with my love life.”

“Nooooo…” Bot smiles guiltily, “...yyyyyes? Maybe?” They try and fail to school their face into a more normal-looking smile as they call out, “Hi Cabby!”

“Why hello there, you two!” Cabby’s smile makes Test Tube feel like all her organs are tying themselves into knots. She’s running out of time to tell Cabby how she feels, but every time she tries, she feels like she’s choking. Maybe it would be easier if she let Fan do it, but…that feels like the coward’s way out, and besides, it just seems incredibly disrespectful to Cabby to tell her through someone else rather than just saying it to her face.

“Good to see you, but oh my god, look at the time!” Bot makes the exaggerated motion of checking a wristwatch. They are not wearing a wristwatch. “I have a super important thing to do with, um, The Floor. At eight. So I really gotta hurry.” They wink at Test Tube, who silently hopes Cabby wasn’t looking at them just at that moment.

“It’s seven-thirty,” Cabby tells them.

“Well yeah,” Bot explains, “but the thing is on the other side of the island, so I have to go all the way there.”

“I mean, The Floor is kinda everywhere, so surely it’d be easier for him to come to–aaaand they’re gone.” Test Tube sighs.

“They’re acting strange again,” Cabby remarks. “Just like before the play. Wonder what that is.” She shrugs. “Anyways, how are you doing?”

“Oh, y’know,” Test Tube replies noncommittally. “We’re all kinda busy getting everything prepped to go back to the hotel, so that’s been taking up a lot of my brain space right now.” That wasn’t the only thing that had been taking up a lot of her brain space, but it definitely wasn’t the time yet.

“Ah, yes. That’s coming up pretty soon, huh?” Cabby is clearly making an attempt at being nonchalant, but her smile looks more sad than anything as she says, “I’m really going to miss having you around.”

Test Tube has to remind herself that Cabby probably meant “you” in the plural. Not Test Tube specifically, obviously. “I mean, I’d say you’re welcome to join us, but…I know you have to stay here and run the library.”

“That I do,” Cabby says quietly. “But I’d love to visit, if at all possible. And you’re more than welcome to visit me, of course.”

“Yeah, absolutely!” Test Tube agrees enthusiastically. “I’d love to introduce you to people around the hotel.”

“That sounds wonderful!” Cabby is grinning now. “There are so many people I’d love to meet.”

“Yeah? Like who?”

“Hmm, well, let’s see.” Cabby opens her drawer and starts pulling out and skimming file after file, all with the silhouettes of various residents of Hotel OJ. “I think I’d get along with Cheesy, I have always had a soft spot for puns…I’m sure Soap would appreciate my organizational skills in helping her clean things up…Yin-Yang tells me Tissues is a much better companion than many make him out to be, despite our wildly differing opinions on the color green…I’ve heard Apple and Marshmallow are working on a book together, so obviously assisting them with that would be right up my alley…maybe Microphone would–” She cuts herself off upon seeing Test Tube involuntarily grimace. “Ah. My mistake. I know things between the two of you aren’t especially the best.”

“Eh, you’re fine.” Test Tube shrugs in what she hopes is a casual manner. “Golly, I haven’t really thought about Mic in months now.” She sighs. “But now that I am, obviously I’m gonna start getting in my head about it, y’know?”

“No, I understand. My apologies, I should have thought first,” Cabby says. “If you don’t mind, what do you mean by getting in your head?”

“I dunno, I’ve been wrong about so much lately, it makes me think, what if I was wrong about her too?” she asks, more rhetorically than anything. “I mean, she definitely did work with Taco…and steal from me…I’m definitely not wrong about that part, but, I guess, I’ve been giving her the cold shoulder since we got to the hotel, and that feels like not the best way to go about things, now that I’m thinking about it. Like, maybe I should just talk to her head-on, and either it’ll go well and things will be better, or…it won’t and they won’t. But either way, it’s better to do something than nothing, right?”

“I would say so,” Cabby agrees. “No harm, no foul, right? Besides, I think you’re probably much more equipped to have that conversation than you would have been before, given how much progress you’ve made on your whole thing about being wrong.” She chuckles. “Character development, as Fan might call it.”

Test Tube laughs a bit as well, but still feels uneasy. “You keep saying I’ve changed so much for the better, but I don’t know if I see it. I still feel like I’m pretty much the same.”

“I mean, isn’t the fact that we’re friends now living proof that you’ve changed and learned to admit you’re wrong?” Cabby nudges her gently. “I mean, unless you’re only pretending to like me and have secretly still been harboring a grudge against me all this time.”

“Ha ha, no, definitely no false pretenses regarding how I feel about you here,” Test Tube blurts, then grimaces. Did that sound weird? Did she notice?

Cabby narrows her eyes, taking her hand off Test Tube’s back and moving away a bit. “Well, see, when you say it like that, it makes it seem like you definitely are hiding something from me.” Great.

“No, I–ugh.” Test Tube’s stomach twisting is getting so bad she almost thinks she might throw up here and now, but also, she has an opportunity now. She has to take it. Besides, the sun is sinking below the horizon, reflecting fiery oranges and pinks on the water, and what could be a more romantic setting than sunset on a beach in literal paradise? Before she can take too much time to overthink it, she forces herself to say, “Okay, truth be told, I have been holding back something having to do with how I feel about you.”

“Oh? So you are holding a grudge?” Cabby smirks just a bit, which is really cute on her and not making this any easier.

“What? No! Not at all! I’m just…oh golly, I don’t know how to say this without making things really weird.”

Cabby’s hand comes back to rest on Test Tube’s shoulder, which surely she thinks is comforting, but really makes Test Tube’s brain that much foggier. “It’s alright, Test Tube. Take your time, and you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t feel comfortable with.”

“No, it’s important, and it has to do with you.” Now or never, Test Tube . She takes a deep breath in, so anxious it’s making her dizzy. “So, I know you know my feelings about you have changed a lot since the competition. But the truth is, I’ve been realizing that those feelings aren’t just friendly feelings as much as they are…romantic ones.”

Well, now she’s said it. No going back. She chances a brief glance at Cabby, whose eyes are wide with shock, but Test Tube can’t tell if it’s a good shock or a bad shock. Feeling as though she’s on the verge of passing out, she keeps talking. “And I wasn’t going to say anything, because I didn’t want to do anything to harm our friendship, but Fan and Bot keep pushing me to say something, and they’re both convinced you feel the same way, but please don’t worry if you don’t, I still want to be friends–”

And at that, Cabby bursts out into laughter.

Test Tube really, really doesn’t want to start crying, but she can feel hot tears sting her eyes, and she barely manages to choke out, “Yeah, okay. Message received.” She turns to walk away. “Sorry for bothering you, I guess.”

“No, Test Tube, wait!” Cabby’s wheels squeak in that way that has become so familiar and comforting to Test Tube as she moves to stop her from leaving. It’s weirdly reminiscent, Test Tube finds herself thinking, of how Cabby had stopped her to talk after Cabby’s rejoin and Test Tube’s subsequent elimination. ‘You too’ and the good sportsmanship? You just lost the game! This is important to you! Well, Test Tube certainly feels like she’s lost something. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh, I just–I couldn’t help it.”

That’s the last straw for Test Tube. “Really?” she snaps. “It’s that funny to you?”

“It’s–agh, it’s not your feelings that were funny to me.” Cabby pinches the bridge of her nose for a second, and then takes a deep breath and looks back at Test Tube. “It’s just, I can’t believe it’s been who knows how long, and you haven’t even realized how in love with you I am.”

“...what?” Test Tube cannot possibly have heard Cabby right, and yet, what else could she have said? “I’m sorry, no, you don’t mean that, do you?”

Cabby laughed dryly. “Trust me, I find myself thinking much the same thing. You’re not the one who went through an entire season of pining after someone who does not and cannot feel the same, who doesn’t even like you. And maybe I was getting some kind of feeling, recently, that you might in some capacity return my feelings, but…” She sighs. “Surely you can understand why I didn’t want to get my hopes up that it could be true.”

Test Tube has about a million thoughts flying around in her head, but all she can think to say is, “The whole season? Even when we were on…not the best terms?”

“That’s rather a gentle way to put it,” Cabby remarks. “But, most of the season, yes. Since the photography challenge at least. It certainly wasn’t a fun experience the whole time, to say the least.”

“Wait, all the way since the photography challenge? Gosh, that’s…I’m really sorry,” Test Tube mumbles. Then the rest of what Cabby said catches up with her. “Wait, did you say love? Like, L-O-V-E, love?”

“That is how you spell love, yes.”

“Wowie, that’s, uh, that’s…that’s a pretty strong word,” Test Tube stammers. Crushes are one thing, but love is a whole other deal, one she couldn’t possibly have expected.

“It’s a strong feeling.” Cabby’s voice is practically a whisper, and she’s not meeting Test Tube’s eyes. 

Test Tube hesitates for a moment, and puts her hand on Cabby’s arm, which makes Cabby look up. Test Tube flashes her a smile, which she returns tentatively. “Listen, I know I’ve messed up with you, a lot, and that really did a number on your self confidence, and I wish I could take it all back.” Thankfully, Cabby doesn’t try to comfort Test Tube or tell her it’s okay, she just listens attentively. “But…if you’d be down for it, I’d really like to try pursuing a relationship with you. If it doesn’t work out, I still want to be friends, but we can’t know if it doesn’t work if we don’t try it, right?”

Cabby pulls out a file, and replies, “That does line up with what I have in my file on the scientific method.” Test Tube trembles a little, unable to think of anything more attractive than the fact that Cabby has a file on the scientific method. “I would be absolutely honored to be able to call you my girlfriend, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Yeah, I guess that is what I’m asking. Girlfriend. Golly.” Test Tube is practically tingling from head to toe now. She shakes it off with a joke. “Maybe the real prize for winning Inanimate Insanity Invitational is the love we found along the way, huh?” She takes Cabby’s hand as she said, “That’s worth more than any cash prize than MePhone could come up with.” She almost cringes as she says it, because it’s so ridiculously corny, but Cabby only smiles.

“I agree wholeheartedly. By the way, the love we found along the way?” Her eyebrows raise as she parrots Test Tube’s words from a few minutes ago. “That’s a pretty strong word.”

“Yeah, it is,” Test Tube agrees. “But it’s, um, I’m realizing just now that it’s maybe not the wrong one.” Her words are spilling out of control, but she’s struck with a realization that she probably should have had a long time ago. “I do love you, I think.” She laughs nervously. “Gee willikers. That felt weird, but it’s true.”

“Gee willikers, indeed.” Cabby laughs as well.

Before she can stop herself, Test Tube finds herself blabbering, “Did you know you have a really nice laugh? Sorry if that’s a weird thing to say, I just–I’ve thought it for a while, and I wanted to tell you.”

Cabby looks surprised, but pleased. “Wow, thank you. I could say the same to you.”

“Really?” Test Tube shrugs. “I’ve always thought mine sounded really dorky.”

“Test Tube,” Cabby sighs lovingly, taking Test Tube’s hand, “if I didn’t find dorky endearing, we wouldn’t be here, now would we?”

“I guess we wouldn’t.” Test Tube breathes out slowly, still unable to process everything. “Wowie, I can’t believe this is actually happening. What a strange evening. But…good strange, though. The type of strange you’d never forget.”

Cabby breaks eye contact for a second. “Ha, I wish I could say the same.”

Test Tube claps a hand over her mouth. “Oh golly–I’m so sorry, I’m doing the whole foot in mouth thing again. I didn’t mean to…”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Cabby says. “Trust me, I’m going to write down every second of this day in excruciating detail. Although–if you don’t mind, I’d like to go back home in order to do so.” She smiles as she adds, “Your presence is just a little distracting, you know.”

Test Tube fights the urge to giggle like a little kid. “Distracting, huh? In that case, go ahead.”

Cabby pauses for a moment, then rolls closer to Test Tube. Before Test Tube has a chance to get too stomach-backflippy about how close the two of them are, Cabby kisses her on the cheek. “Have a good night, Test Tube.”

“Yeah. Night. Good. Have one.” Test Tube manages to choke out. “Uh, I mean…agh, you know what I mean. Are you going to write that down word for word?”

“Oh, absolutely.” Cabby giggles a little, and then she’s rolling away.

Test Tube sits down on a rock and watches the last of the sunset, still feeling pins and needles all over. The fact that she confessed her feelings to Cabby, and that Cabby likes her–no, loves her back is too big to fit in her head, and she feels like she can barely move.

She does, however, eventually work up the guts to start heading back in the direction of the cabin. She only makes it a little way, however, before she trips over what she at first assumes must just be thin air.

Except the so-called thin air lets out a very familiar, “ow!” And then follows up with “I mean, uh, you didn’t hear anything! It’s just the wiiiiind…whoooosh….”

“Knock it off, Bot,” Test Tube sighs. “I know it’s you.”

The sound of fingers snapping, and suddenly there’s a little green robot smiling sheepishly up at Test Tube. “Hi, Test Tube.”

“Were you here this whole time?”

“Maybe?” Bot giggles. “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help it! I was going to leave after a few minutes, I promise, but you two just kept being so cute, and I had to see how things turned out!” They put a hand on Test Tube’s arm as they add, “I’m really proud of you, by the way. I know it took a lot to say that, and I’m really glad it turned out well.”

“Yeah, me too.” Test Tube allows herself to smile for a second, then turns serious again as she tells them, “But I didn’t give you the invisibility upgrade for you to snoop on people.? Don’t eavesdrop on me again, okay?”

“Yeah, you’re so right, Test Tube. Eavesdropping is really not cool,” a voice jumps in that can’t possibly be Bot. That is, unless whatever Test Tube did to give them invisibility had somehow also given them the ability to switch to a voice that was much deeper than their usual, not to mention much more Australian.

Test Tube scans the ground around her, and sure enough, there’s a face in the sand just to her left. “Floory?” she grumbles. “Have you been here the whole time too?”

“Nah, not the whole time.” The Floor makes a face that might accompany a shrug for someone with shoulders. “I’ve been in and out to get snacks. But I was definitely there for the sappy parts. Once I figured out what was happening, I needed to make sure Cabby was okay. You two make a nice couple, by the way. Can’t say I’m surprised.”

“What do you mean, you can’t say you’re surprised?” Test Tube snaps. “Seriously, was everyone else aware of how Cabby felt about me, and how I felt about her, aside from us?”

The Floor shares a glance with Bot, before he says, “Yup, pretty much.”

Test Tube groans, rubbing her temple with one hand. “Great. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.”

“Hey, it worked out for you, didn’t it?” The Floor raises an eyebrow. “You know, when Cabby caught that flu a while back, I had to really fight her to get her to stay home. She was so feverish she could barely stand up without getting dizzy, and I was all, ‘mate, you can’t work like this, you gotta go home,’ but she was all, ‘no, I promised Test Tube I’d see her, I don’t want to let her down.’ That’s dedication right there.”

“Gosh, really?” That’s really sweet, although it does make Test Tube worry about Cabby’s disregard for her own well-being. Then again, one time back at the hotel Test Tube sustained a minor head injury during a controlled explosion that went a little out of control, and Fan had to tell OJ to change the lock on the spare room that she’d turned into her makeshift lab because she wouldn’t stop trying to go back to work while actively concussed. Maybe she isn’t one to talk.

“Yep. She really cares about you. I’d say I’m surprised she didn’t figure out you felt the same way, given how closely she keeps track of everyone, but,” his smile falls, “poor girl has a lot of trouble realizing she’s worthy of being cared about, I suppose.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Test Tube mutters.

The Floor brightens again as he says, “Hey, you know who’s going to be really excited about you two finally getting together?”

Bot and Test Tube share a look, and then say in unison, “Fan.”

“Ugh, he is going to be so smug,” Test Tube grumbles. “But he’s my best friend, and I guess I’d better just get telling him over with.”

“Alright, I’ll see you two around,” and before Bot or Test Tube can say goodbye, The Floor disappears.

“Okay, here goes nothing,” Test Tube mutters, as she and Bot turn back towards the cabins. 

Fan is playing (and from his expression, clearly failing at) a game on his laptop when Test Tube and Bot arrive. Test Tube must be making a face, because immediately, Fan asks, “Whoa, what’s going on? Did something happen?”

Test Tube is about to try and explain all the weird and wonderful happenings of that evening, but it’s unfortunately at that moment her tear ducts decide to give up the ghost, and suddenly she’s breaking down in a fit of uncontrollable crying. Bot gasps softly and puts a hand on her back, gently guiding her to Fan’s bed, where Fan pulls her into a tight hug.

“Was it something bad?” he asks, rubbing circles on her back. “Did you tell her how you feel and she didn’t feel the same way?”

Test Tube can’t manage to choke a word out around her shuddery sobs into Fan’s shoulder, so Bot asks, “Do you mind if I tell him?” When Test Tube gives them the thumbs up, they explain with barely contained giddiness, “I was kinda eavesdropping the whole time–oh, by the way, I can turn invisible now!” They snap in and out of visibility a few times to demonstrate. Fan reaches around Test Tube to applaud a little. “But anyways, it did not go badly. It in fact went very well.” They cackle a little as they add, “There may or not have been L-words exchanged.”

“Lesbians?” Fan teases, and then admits, “Okay, that joke doesn’t work when you’re actually lesbians.” He pauses for a moment. “It also doesn’t work when you’re sobbing all over me. You okay, Test Tube? I’ve never seen you cry like this before. Actually, I’m not sure I’ve seen you cry before, period, and I know you better than anyone, so…”

It takes Test Tube a few sniffles and gasping breaths before she can say, “Ugh, yeah, I’m okay. I’ve just been having a whole bunch of emotions for a while now, and they all started coming out at once.” She sniffles again, wiping her eyes. “Golly, my tears are practically soaking right through you. Sorry about that.”

“It’s no big,” Fan replied. “So, out of curiosity, who said it first?”

“Well, it depends on which ‘it’ you’re talking about,” Bot says, but Test Tube cuts them off.

“Bot, I think I can explain myself now.” She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

“Sorry,” Bot says. “Go ahead.”

“I told her I had feelings for her first, but she’s the one who said she loves me. Has for a pretty long time, apparently. Then I realized I love her too, so I told her so.”

“Wow,” Fan remarks. “Love’s a pretty strong word, huh?”

“Yeah, that’s what I said!” She smiles. “It’s definitely true, though.”

“I’m really proud of you, Test!” Fan shakes her shoulder a little. “You were scared, but you told her how you felt, and what’d you get out of it?”

“A girlfriend,” say both Bot and Test Tube, at the same time Fan says, “Canon CabTube!”

“Oh, yeah, I guess that too,” Fan amends, and the three of them all laugh. “Feeling a little calmer now?”

“Yeah, much,” Test Tube agrees. “Thank you.”

“No problem!” says Fan cheerily. “I’m glad, because I need to ask Bot if they’ll help me finish the last level of this goddamn video game.”

Test Tube gasps in mock offense. “So you don’t care about my well-being? I see how it is.” She laughs as Fan opens his mouth to defend himself. “No, Fan, I’m kidding. You’ve proven like a million times how much you care about me, and I really appreciate it. Mind if I watch you play?” Though she’s much calmer, she really needs something to wind her down.

“Yeah, sure, although this part is kinda boring.” He tilts his screen towards her and Bot. “See, the first part of the level, you have to try not to get ax murdered by a butcher, and then there’s an escort mission thing where you have to get a little kid and a bunny to the top of this circus made of meat while protecting them from creepy emaciated bunnies, and then at this part the room starts flooding and the player character has a curse on him where if he touches the water he drowns instantly, so you have to get up and away from the water while an evil version of your dad throws burning stuff at you.”

“Fan, clearly we have very different definitions of boring,” Test Tube deadpans.

“Okay, well, you do anything for hours and hours on end, you get sick of it.” He turns to Bot. “Would you mind taking a look at it?”

“Sure thing!” Bot scoots to sit next to him. “So what kind of controls are we looking at?”

Test Tube smiles, watching the two of them laugh and chatter as they pass the laptop back and forth to try and finish the level. Bot has recently found that they not only enjoy playing video games, but they’re really good at them too. Fan, however, cannot play well for the life of him, but likes playing them for the story, so he’s taken to asking Bot to help him where he struggles. Test Tube pointed out that if he wants the story he can always find a playthrough on YouTube, but “the immersion, Test Tube!” and besides, he and Bot seem to have fun playing together. The familiar sight makes Test Tube feel warm inside, and she realizes she’s happier than she’s been in a long time.

“WOO! We finally finished the scary dad part!” Bot cheers, over an hour into their time playing. “So what am I doing next?”

“You press the right trigger to put in the detergent, left button to put the laundry in the washing machine, and then A to start the machine,” Fan mumbles, barely coherent. Test Tube doesn’t know anything about the game, but she’s pretty sure that’s not right.

“Fan, nothing you just said makes sense,” Bot tells him gently. “You’re not playing with a controller, and also there’s no washing machine in the game? I think you’re sleep-talking.”

“No ‘m not,” Fan replies sleepily. “That made perfect sense. ‘m super awake. Yer the one that doesn’ make sense. Just gotta rest my eyes for a sec.” He lays his head down on the pillow and immediately starts snoring.

Bot giggles, patting him gently and then turning to look over at Test Tube. “I guess I should shut down for the night too. Promise me you’ll actually go to sleep as well?”

“Yeah, of course,” Test Tube promises. “Goodnight, Bot. Love you.”

And she really does mean to go to sleep—she brushes her teeth and tucks herself under the blanket and everything. But after an hour of staring up at the ceiling, she decides it’s a lost cause. She gets out her phone and headphones to listen to some music. When she opens her music app, she can’t help but smile—it’s open to a playlist Cabby sent her of her favorite songs. She presses play and settles back against her pillow.

I was always strong as long as we were a team

I crawled into somebody’s heart who meant the world to me

Love made me strong enough to be alone, it set me free

And with my friends, friends till the end, is where I want to be

I don’t need to, but I want to sing with you, ‘cause I miss you

Test Tube finds herself wondering if it’s possible that back at the library, Cabby is listening to the same song. She knows the odds are low–there’s no guarantee she’d even be listening to music right now, and even if she is, she has a lot more songs she likes than this one, as evidenced by, obviously, the fact that there’s more than one song on this playlist.

The mental image is comforting, though, and finally, Test Tube finds herself drifting into sleep.

Chapter Text

“Alright, that looks like everything!” Fan calls as he comes into the cabin. “Thanks for doing all the packing, Test Tube.”

“Oh, no, I was just doing it because I knew if you tried to pack, everything would be all over the place and you’d freak out when we came back because you wouldn’t be able to find something and then you’d realize it was in a pocket you forgot the duffle bag even had,” Test Tube teases.

“Hey, that happened one time!” Fan pauses, considering, and then adds, “Okay, twice. Okay, every time I’ve ever been on a trip. But maybe this time would’ve been the exception!”

“Yeah, sure, if you say so.” Test Tube grins. “I guess I’m also glad to have something to do with my hands, to get my mind off the fact that we’re leaving, and I’m not going to be able to see…everyone.”

“Uh huh, everyone ,” Fan says with a smirk, but then goes to lay a hand on Test Tube’s shoulder. “You know we’re going to be able to visit pretty much whenever, right? It’s not gonna be a big deal.”

“Yeah, I know, it’s just weird.” Test Tube sighs, then takes a deep breath and shoots Fan a smile. “You got a book or something for the ride? It’s going to be a long, boring trip, and I know we’re both going to lose it if we have to people for too long.”

“Uh-huh.” Fan nods to a little day bag he has over his shoulder, which is full of as many books as it can carry. “Plus, I’ve got a podcast downloaded onto my phone, so I should be good.” He turns to Bot. “How about you? Got something to keep you busy?”

“Yep!” They tap their head. “Test Tube downloaded all of Bee and Puppycat for me, so I think I’m set!”

“Huh, I thought you had a thing against adult cartoons because that’s all Bow ever watched,” Fan remarks.

“Ehh, that’s just the kind that act like you have to be offensive to be funny.” Bot makes a face. “The ‘unemployed loser and her magical cat-type creature go on adventures’ genre is a masterpiece. Plus, Goo recommended it, so I trust it’s good.”

Fan sighs good-naturedly. “See, when you say stuff like that I worry we’re spending too much time together and you’re starting to take after me a bit too much.”

“Nah, you’re pretty great, so I think that’d be a good thing!” Test Tube jumps in. “As long as their packing style doesn’t take after you too.” She turns to survey the pile of bags, which she swears is much more than what any of them brought. “Do either of you know how much weight you’re able to lift on an average day? If you figure that out, and I figure out the weight of each of these respective bags, I should be able to formulate a way for the three of us to carry this truly monstrous amount of baggage to Boaty.” 

“The four of us, actually,” Bot corrects. 

“Who’s the fourth?” Test Tube asks, but she’s pretty sure she can guess. Sure enough, there’s a knock on the door, and when she opens it…

“Did somebody call a cab?”

“Cabby!” Test Tube practically flings herself into her girlfriend’s arms. Golly, she’s been seeing Cabby every day since the night they both confessed their feelings, and it’s still weird to her that they’re each other’s girlfriends.

“Well, hey, you!” Cabby holds on to Test Tube for another minute, before moving back. “I guess I should probably let you breathe, huh?”

Test Tube shrugs. “Eh, breathing is overrated. I’d rather just hug you forever.” If that’s a little bit overkill, she doesn’t care anymore. After all the bumps in the road, she thinks she reserves the right to be the sappiest girlfriend ever.

Cabby giggles. “Well, unfortunately, you can’t, because I need to help you with your bags.” She waves to the other two. “Fan, Bot, how are you both doing?”

“Pretty good!” Bot replies. “I can’t really believe I’m leaving the island. I haven’t really been anywhere else, y’know? Like, look out world, here comes Bot!” They strike a pose, laughing.

“The world is nowhere near prepared,” Cabby teases. “And you, Fan? Have you started that podcast I recommended to you?”

“The one about the nurse at the weird spooky summer camp?” Fan asks. When Cabby nods, he answers, “No, not yet, but I have it downloaded, so I’ll be listening on the boat.”

“Oh good! I don’t know anyone else who’s listened to it, so I’m excited to talk to you about it.”

“An invitation to dissect media at length with another person?” Fan is practically ecstatic. “That’s basically, like, my dream interaction with other people. I could spend hours analyzing my various blorbos from my various shows, that’s basically my whole thing! Count me in!”

“Alright, now let’s see to those bags.” Cabby sees the bag and does a double-take. “Okay, this cannot all be for three people.”

Test Tube smiles sheepishly. “Okay, that’s probably my fault. I had a bunch of lab equipment I just could not leave behind!”

Cabby smiles, rolling her eyes a little. “Of course you couldn’t, my love.”

“My love?” Test Tube repeats, trying not to let her giddiness show too much. 

“I’m sorry, is that too mushy for you, Miss Breathing-Is-Overrated?”

Test Tube laughs. “No, it’s really nice. I like it.”

“Alright, alright.” Cabby goes to start picking up bags, putting some in her drawer and taking some in her hands. The other three join her, and soon everything is out of the cabin and they’re all carrying the bags towards where Boaty is docked.

They seem to be the last people to arrive, because every other contestant (sans OJ, who left weeks ago to start preparing the hotel) is there, laughing, crying, chatting, hugging one another, saying goodbyes. As she hands the bags she’s carrying to Lifering for him to load them into Boaty’s storage section, she suddenly finds her eyes stinging as she realizes this is probably the last time in a while she’ll be with this specific group of people. 

There’s a hand on her shoulder, and she turns to see Cabby. “I’m going to say my goodbyes to everyone else first, if you don’t mind.”

Test Tube sniffs and rubs her eyes. “No, yeah, I should do that too. Meet back here when we’re both done?”

Cabby nods and turns away to talk to Yin-Yang. Test Tube takes a deep breath, then starts seeking out the new contestants to bid them farewell.

Somehow, she manages to get through it without choking up too much. Candle hugs her and wishes her a peaceful journey, Silver gives her a formal handshake, Tea Kettle, who has clearly been crying this whole time, insists she take food with her, Lifering gives her a fist bump and tells her to stay safe, The Floor appears out of nowhere and nearly gives her a heart attack to wish her well, and Blueberry even smiles. Clover and Goo are both coming to the hotel as well, so she doesn’t need to say goodbye to them. 

It’s all become so familiar, the idea of leaving it behind aches. The feeling becomes only more potent when Cabby rolls back into her field of vision. “So, you ready?”

Test Tube chuckles. “No, not really.”

“Me neither.” Cabby takes Test Tube’s hand. “Test Tube, I know we’ve been through a lot over this season, and yes, much of it has been less than positive.”  She blinks hard and swallows. “But I’m really happy with how things have turned out, and ultimately, I couldn’t be more glad I met you.”

“Yeah,” Test Tube agrees. “I’m really glad I met you too. The time I’ve spent with you since the competition, I wouldn’t give back for the world. If I could go back and talk to myself before the competition, I would absolutely tell myself to never hold that stupid grudge against you and get to know you more.”

“I mean, I know you have built a time machine,” Cabby points out.

“Well, yeah, but last time I time traveled, I kinda broke the space-time continuum and created a new timeline.”

“Ah, who needs the space-time continuum anyway?” Cabby laughs. Test Tube is going to miss that laugh.

They both jump as Boaty’s horn sounds, and everyone else starts saying final farewells and filing up the ramp and onto the deck.

“Well, looks like we’re running out of time.” Test Tube takes a shaky breath. “I’ll visit as soon as I can, okay? And you’d better visit too. I’ll drag you with me if I have to.”

“I will, I will. Before you go, though…” Cabby smiles, a bit shyly. “I don’t seem to have anything in my files indicating that we’ve kissed.”

“Oh.” Test Tube is certain it isn’t scientifically possible for her heart to stop in her chest just from that statement alone, but if there had been any margin for that, she would have assumed that’s what happened. “Well, I mean, you kissed me on the cheek at least once…”

“Pff, you know what I mean.” Cabby rolls closer to Test Tube, who is suddenly very nervous. She knows it won’t change how Cabby feels about her, but she is far from experienced in this field, and she’s worried she’ll somehow discover new ways of being bad at kissing. 

Boaty honks again, his tone clearly saying “get on or I will leave you,” and Test Tube decides to just go for it.

It’s a brief kiss–certainly not anything dramatic or record-breaking a la Princess Bride–but for the second her mouth presses against Cabby’s, Test Tube feels warm and content all over, but also a bit like she’s about to overflow. She loves Cabby so much the magnitude of it can’t fit inside her.

Less romantically, once she breaks away, all she can think to say is, “Golly gee willikers!” And then, “Oh no! Now the thing I said right after we kissed will always be ‘golly gee willikers.’”

“I could think of nothing more Test Tube to say.” Cabby squeezes Test Tube’s hand. “Alright, you need to get going.” She pulls Test Tube into a hug. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” She pulls away, and starts for the ramp. Before she can get inside, a thought strikes her, and she turns over her shoulder to call, “Smart alliance?”

“Smart alliance!” Cabby calls back, and then pulls out a file and begins to write, smiling her beautiful smile. Test Tube still can’t believe this is real, but it is, and the person she loves is right there, and loves her back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As long as Boaty is in view of the island, the passengers all stand looking over the railing, yelling and waving at their friends on shore. Once they’re all out of sight, everyone starts to spread out and go below deck. Only Test Tube remains, staring out into space over the ocean. Someone appears next to her, and she jumps a little. “Oh, hi, Fan.”

“Hey. How ya doing?”

“Ehh.” She gestures vaguely. “Weird.”

“Yeah, that tracks.” He puts an arm around her for a second, and the gesture is comforting, making her feel a little more at ease. Then his brow furrows and he pulls his arm away. “Hey, you’ve got something stuck on your back.”

“Huh?” Test Tube takes the piece of paper Fan holds out to her–it’s a sticky note. She immediately recognizes the achingly familiar handwriting–so precise and neat it could be typed, just like she remembers noticing the first time she saw it, all that time ago when Fan showed her the file he found on himself. She’s smiling before she even begins to read it.

I don’t see what anyone can see in anyone else but you.