Chapter Text
Hinata ran her fingers into the sand just shy of her beach towel. The bonfire in the middle of the group cracked and gave off almost too much heat. It was too big, but the few who kept feeding it didn’t show any signs of stopping. They were all probably going to be out here until they ran out of wood.
The sky was dark and littered with a blanket of stars around a bright, nearly full moon, unobstructed clouds. It was a seemingly perfect end to their last day here, completing their graduation trip.
It was odd to see everyone so casually in their street clothes after so many years of seeing everyone in uniforms. This really felt like the end of an era. Soon, they would all be going off to university, and some of them would never see each other again.
The cool breeze sweeping by was telling her that she was running out of time. They were going back home tomorrow. This was her last chance. The question was: was she going to let it slip through her fingers like she had so many times before?
She lifted her head to look past the flames to the bright smile she had on her mind. It wasn’t really her last chance. They weren’t going to the same university, but he wasn’t moving far. She just… couldn’t go into the next part of her life the same way she had the last.
Naruto stood up as if to answer her. “I have an announcement.” He held out his drink to Sakura, and Hinata didn’t even feel her stomach drop like she thought it would. Maybe she was numb to it at this point. “I have finally gotten Sakura to agree to date me!” He cheered.
There was a round of chatter and a few woos from those who were more excitable.
Sakura huffed at him, turning red, trying to tug him down. She should know that he was going to be proud of it. He had been loudly chasing after her for years. No matter how many times she turned him down, he would come back louder and more elaborate.
He got suspended for his stunt trying to ask her to the last dance, and he was lucky that was all that happened because there was a teacher who was considering calling the police.
“This is the best day of my life!” Naruto continued to yell.
“Get down!” Sakura jerked him back down beside her. Naruto hugged her to his side and planted a loving kiss on her cheek. Sakura pushed his face away but allowed him to pull her closer by his arm around her shoulder.
That’s how they always were, passionately fighting about everything always. They fit well together. They complement each other. That’s what everyone always said, anyway. She always thought that it was a fire that would burn too hot one day and would end up with one of them pushing a little too hard past the point that either of them could forgive, but maybe they understood each other better than she understood either of them.
Well, her question was answered, and she didn’t even have to ask it. She always knew, but this was more concrete. Closing the door to the option that was never really there in the first place.
Hinata got up. She didn’t want to watch him hang all over her. She was sure her friends saw her go, but they knew better than to follow her. They knew there was nothing they could say to make her feel better, and she didn’t want to hear them try. She watched her feet sink in as she stepped through the sand. It was still warm despite the sun being gone behind the waves. With each step, her heart seemed to be washed clean with the tides.
Maybe this was what she needed. This was what was going to make her let go before university started. Her heart was broken one last time, but maybe this time, she was ready. That was what she was going to tell herself until she believed it. Did she wish that she could have told him first? That was a question she would probably never answer. Maybe she didn’t want the answer. She would have been rejected. It would have felt final, but it could be something that hung over them and their friendship for the rest of their lives, and they would still see each other. They may not be going to the same university, but Naruto’s police academy was nearby.
Hinata looked up over the glittering sand and found a lone form sitting on the beach in her path, illuminated by the moon that was making the whole beach a glassy blue hue. She changed course to go around him, and he eyed her as she passed. Getting a better look at him and his blood-red hair, she realized that he was with a group earlier. The local Naruto found and dragged along with them. She thought his name was Gaara. She found it odd that he was so pale. Most of the locals had a healthy tan. Then again, Naruto just assumed he was local so she did too.
Hinata paused. He looked up at her, taking note that she stopped before burying his face into his arms.
Maybe he wanted to be left alone, or maybe he was lying to himself about wanting to be left alone like she was.
“Not having fun?” Hinata walked back to him.
Gaara’s eyes slid up to her, eyeing her wearily. “No.”
“Me neither.” Hinata positioned herself to his side and came down to his height, curling around her knees, glancing back at the fire that was dancing its glow in the distance. “But at least they are.”
The crashing sound of the waves from the ocean and the distant sound of music and laughing from the group filled the silence between them.
Hinata replayed the simple kiss on the cheek in her mind again. On the one hand, she felt numb. On the other, something so simple stung because she wanted it. Was it pathetic that she waited this long for him? She held all her firsts to her chest, hoping that it would be him, and it felt like she had wasted her time dreaming. That wasn’t really anyone’s fault but her own, but it felt bitter now. “I never even had a first kiss.”
“Me neither.” Gaara voiced plainly.
Hinata flushed as she realized she said that out loud. It was so quiet she forgot she wasn’t alone. “Sorry. I shouldn’t be over here complaining.”
Gaara ignored her apology. “It’s not something I really see me ever doing.”
Hinata lifted her head to tilt it at him. “Why do you say that?”
Gaara shifted his chin up onto his arms, staring out at the ocean like it might have the answers. “People kiss you because they like you, right?”
It felt like he wasn’t sure. “Most of the time, yeah.”
“Then I won’t be kissed,” Gaara concluded as if it were fact.
Hinata pressed her lips in a line. He might have lower self-esteem than she did, but she didn’t know enough about him to convince him otherwise, and trying to do so shallowly wasn’t going to make him feel any better.
She knew it wouldn’t make her feel any better.
Hinata heard too many empty words that just served to make her feel like she wasn’t allowed to feel sad because it made others feel they needed to make her feel better. Maybe those empty words made her hold on longer than it made sense to.
She didn’t want to be encouraged by an empty dream anymore.
Maybe it was fitting she was thinking about this now. They were all celebrating a new chapter of their lives. It was time she had hers.
But Gaara wasn’t celebrating. Was it just because he wasn’t a normal part of the group, or was it because he didn’t feel like there was anything to celebrate? He didn’t really ask to be dragged along all day. Naruto had a funny way of making quick friends with odd people, but if Gaara didn’t want to be part of the fun everyone was having, why didn’t he leave?
The wind blew through her light layers, warning her that now that the sun was down, it was only going to get colder. She didn’t want this night to end with her heartbreak as the period. She wanted to leave it behind her.
She was done saving her first kiss. She wanted today to be the end of her holding on to all her firsts for someone who wasn’t waiting on them.
Hinata turned to Gaara, and his eyes shifted to her. “Close your eyes.”
Gaara's face twitched in curiosity, but he did what he was told.
Warm and soft.
That’s what a kiss felt like.
It made his blood rush unnaturally into his face and twisted a ticklish, almost painful feeling into his chest.
It was brief but felt like forever, but maybe that was because he forgot to breathe, and when he opened his eyes, she was gone, already up the beach heading for the house her group was staying at.
Gaara watched her go before pressing his face back into his arms, looking back out the waves, and trying to ignore the new feeling swirling in his chest. It made him want to go after her, but he knew that after tonight, he would never see her again.