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JJ stood clutching her side, the blue lights of the ambulances reflected in her glazed eyes, as she stared off into the distance her expression almost empty. Her navy shirt with buttons mismatched hung limply across her thin frame, her belt buckle still loosened. In the chaos and noise around her everything seemed muffled, she felt as if she was sort of floating above it all.
A warm hand interrupted her silence lightly touching a her damp shoulder causing her to flinch pulling away from the soft touch.
“Hey come with me. Please.”
Dark eyes connected with hers drawing her back down to earth, the coldness of the night air settling in her bones. She let herself be led silently to a black SUV where a woollen blanket was draped across her. Warm hands held her steady by the shoulders as she swayed,
“I know you won’t go to the hospital just let me take you to my hotel? You don’t have to make any decisions tonight, Hotch is sorting it.” A questioning voice asked.
“Please.” was all cracked lips could whisper.
<3
Seldom words were spoken once they arrived in Emily’s hotel room, just enough for the two women to communicate. The older agent was unfortunately well aware of what JJ needed, knowing that the younger woman would need comfort but also time to process away from her family and the team, it was too much to be seen and have to perform after such an event.
The hotel room was clean and simple with a large bed in the centre and a small sofa just to its left. Emily placed her bag on the table turning to JJ,
“What do you need?”
“I want to be clean.” JJ murmured blue eyes cast down towards the patterned carpet,
“Okay.” Emily assured her with a small smile guiding her into the adjacent bathroom.
JJ stood staring into the distance again as Emily cautiously took her fingers in hers looking for her okay in removing her still damp clothes. JJ nodded dumbly as Emily carefully removed her shirt and undid her trousers slowly pulling them down her toned thighs. The small twitch of the younger woman’s stomach as she did so wasn’t lost on her, grasping her hand in hers again. She gently unhooked her bra and helped her step out of her underwear and into the bath. JJ curled into the fetal position clutching her bruised knees.
JJ noticed gratefully as Emily filled the sink that she did not plan on using the shower. The brunette cast her eyes towards the young agent who looked a shell of the bubbly blue-eyed woman she knew and loved. Her hair hung limp and knotted down her back and her usually smooth sun-kissed skin marred by bruises and cuts. Her eyes are what haunted Emily the most, it made her chest ache wanting to do everything in her power to stop JJ’s suffering, internally she berated herself that it had taken her so long to find her friend.
Emily kneeled at the side of the bath waiting for JJ to notice her presence before focusing on methodically cleaning her friend, she started on her back and then down her arms gently washing away the dirt and grime covering the blondes delicate skin trying to be as quick as possible without rushing. Emily hesitated before cleaning across her chest JJ lifting herself slightly to give Emily better access, JJ felt her heart skip a beat as the Emily dragged the warm cloth across her. Eventually the blonde stood and Emily cleaned across her toned stomach careful to avoid the angry wound covering her right side and then down her legs.
JJ could have cried, she could feel tears pricking in the corners of her eyes just from how gentle the brunette was being, she thought being touched would make her flinch away but she trusted Emily, trusted her with her life. They hadn’t seen in each other since Emily had left for London they’d somewhat kept in touch but it had been spotty. She’d brushed it off as busyness and the time difference.
Emily helped JJ out of the bath wrapping her in a fluffy towel she’d left on the radiator to warm. JJ sat on the closed toilet seat as the older woman began to gently brush out the knots in her matted hair, picking the knots apart with her hands as gently as possible, finishing by deftly twisting her hair with nimble fingers into to a simple braid down her back.
After Emily grabbed some pyjamas from her case, she turned towards the bathroom, her breath hitching as she caught sight of the blonde’s lithe form bathed in the warm bathroom light, she shook her head slightly in attempt to focus her mind on her task, helping her *friend*.
She guided a still naked JJ out to the bed, the blondes eyes still kind of glazed over, whilst touching her cheek gently Emily softly broached,
“Will you let me dress it?”
Biting her lip JJ nodded giving permission, as much as she hated the idea of anyone seeing her like this the thought of Emily doing it was decidly nicer than anyone else. She could not deal with the looks of pity and sympathy from other people, the haunted eyes that focused on her were filled with concern and understanding something JJ could just about deal with. She stared at the ceiling light as soft fingertips brushed over her abdomen dressing her wound, as she tried to relax a gentle hand grasped hers pulling her back to earth as she drifted away from the room they were in.
The comfortable silence continued as Emily helped JJ into a soft pair of her flannel pyjama bottoms and a well-worn college sweatshirt, which enveloped the younger woman like a warm hug, the smell of the brunettes expensive perfume clinging to the fabric, distinctly Emily.
The dark-haired woman then produced a few bottles of water and a collection of random snacks placing them on the bed in front of JJ.
“I wasn’t sure what you’d want…we can order something when you feel up to it, whatever you want.” Emily rushed out sheepishly casting her dark eyes towards the ground.
A smile ghosted JJ’s lips for the first time at her friends awkwardness, it took her back to the memories of the younger Emily she met years ago in the office of the BAU.
<3
Emily pulled back the cotton sheets making a space for the young blonde, JJ’s eyes had grown heavy her brain was fighting sleep, something they had both predicted. JJ wiggled down slightly in the sheets curling her body towards the brunette, who sat on the edge of the mattress. Emily cautiously lifted her hand gently smoothing wisps mostly dry of blonde hair from JJ‘s face, carefully avoiding a small cut she’d covered with a Steri-Strip.
As her eyes began to drop JJ watched the older woman in the soft glow of the side table lamp, casting shadows across her porcelain skin. Emily left the small lamp on knowing JJ doesn’t like the dark on any given day. Once she was sure the blonde’s breathing had evened out she quickly changed slipping into similar pyjamas to the ones JJ was in, with them just fitting slightly better than they did on her. She retreated to the small sofa tucking her feet underneath her, and grabbing her book.
Emily was a few chapters into her book with half an eye still aware of her sleeping friend, she noticed her begin to stir. The blondes face looked contorted, she gasped as she jolted in her sleep. At that Emily was next to her on the bed, all too familiar with this type of nightmare she knew not to wake her suddenly.
“Hey JJ, JJ, it’s Emily, you’re safe it’s just me.” she said before touching the younger woman.
Blue eyes snapped open, fear very present in her blown pupils, her bruised fingers tightly gripped the older agents sweatshirt. Once her breathing began to slow she felt a wave of embarrassment wash over herself, she cast her eyes down at the bed.
“What do you need?” Emily whispered dipping her head to make eye contact with the woman in front of her.
“I - I think I need to wash again, I can still feel him.” her voice barely audible.
Emily could see the gleam of unshed tears in the younger agents eyes and before she could stop herself she placed a small kiss on the blondes hairline. She could have sworn she heard JJ’s breath hitch slightly as she did.
<3
Emily turned on the tap testing the water with the back of her hand finding the perfect temperature. She dimmed the lights and set out a towel like she did before. JJ sat on the edge of the bed watching the dark haired woman taking her presence in, it was really setting in how much she’d missed her.
Once she was undressed again, this time it barely bothered her at all, Emily steadied her as she stepped into the warm water. As she slid into the bath she let out a hiss as the water hit her abdomen. JJ tugged Emily’s hand as she went to leave,
“Please.” She paused eyes pleading, “please join me I just want to be held.”
Emily obliged and quietly undressed, feeling JJs eyes on her as she stepped out of her pyjama bottoms. She wasn’t usually shy about her body but under JJ’s gaze she felt her cheeks flush. Trying to ignore the butterflies swirling in her stomach she slipped in behind JJ who’d sat forward in the warm water. The younger woman sank back into her, at this Emily let out a small sigh as JJ’s back made contact with her chest.
Emily tried to quieten her brain, she hadn’t given JJ’s request a second thought, it was almost an autopilot reaction. She worried she was taking advantage, JJ was married for god sake. She rationalised, she hasn’t suggested it had she? That didn’t exactly solve her problem.
Emily held the blonde close as she lent her head back against her chest. The comforting silence continued as JJ floated in the water, for some reason her skin felt cleaner submerged. It could alsobe have been a certain someone’s presence that may have helped.
Once they finally decided to leave the bath as the water started to turn cold an air of awkwardness washed over JJ. She felt exposed standing there dripping in front of Emily Prentiss, the woman who a year ago was a frequent feature of her late night thoughts, something she thought she’d buried.
JJ stood at the mirror dressed in Emily’s pyjamas the steam on glass being the only indicator of where she’d just been. Gripping the side of the sink she inhaled slowly attempting to ground herself.
In the bedroom unbeknownst to the blonde the older agent was doing the same as she set up the bed, pulling back the covers. As the both climbed into the queen sized bed they kept a customary bit of distance. The brunette lay in the soft light of the lamp waiting for signs of sleep from her blonde friend before attempting sleep herself.
Within a few minutes of JJ falling asleep she began to toss and turn, she was clearly agitated and mumbling something incoherent. Emily took JJ gently by the arms stopping her movement and gently drew the sleeping woman into her chest. The blonde now half awake woke with a jolt.
“Shh it’s okay, just for tonight.” Emily whispered into the younger woman’s hair.
JJ relaxed into her arms, a pang went through her chest at the comment but she couldn’t find it in herself to particularly care.
Emily found herself unable to sleep, even under the circumstances, finding herself savouring having the blonde in her arms. She stared at the ceiling tracing random marks as she tried to push away any feelings that attempted to bubble to the surface, ones she’d labelled as ancient, now was really not the time.
But laying there with the younger agent against her chest she genuinely began to consider staying here. She’d many excuses for why she’d left, a promotion, an opportunity of work internationally but really she’d run, run from the reality of her feelings and from what she could not have. But now, here, her exhausted brain settled, yes JJ has Will but she can’t leave, not after this. Eventually the brunettes thoughts slowed and her breathing aligned with the blonde who was curled against her chest, her hand gripping the dark-eyed woman’s shirt.
<3
Hours later JJ awoke as light streamed in through the slightly parted curtains hitting her face. She screwed her eyes shut before slowly opening them, as they came into focus she noticed dark hair covering the pillow, a warm body curled towards her and an arm wrapped around her waist. In the quiet she savoured the moment admiring the calmness she found on her friends face, where she usually looked troubled she looked peaceful. Whilst doing so the realisation washed over JJ that she’d managed to sleep without a nightmare, something she often struggled to do never mind her ordeal only the day before.
JJ had honestly never felt safer with anyone, she’d always felt that ever since she’d met Emily, being the only women out in the field and often sharing rooms they developed a closeness quite quickly. But JJ had always subconsciously held Emily at arms length, they were friends and friends don’t overstep. A calm settled over JJ’s mind as she snuggled back down into the warmth away from the light, Will had always been good to her and she didn’t want to hurt him but my god this woman she was her person. As JJ drifted in and out the brunette stirred at her movement.
Emily woke moments later to the younger woman curled up in her arms with blonde hair tickling her face. The brunettes mind couldn’t help but spin about what this meant for both of them, wrapped around one another.
Emily had always been respectful she’d never overstepped and never would, she cared for JJ deeply and whilst she had to leave she understood the younger woman’s decision. She moved slightly shifting almost involuntarily as she became more aware of the situation she was in, worried she’d made the blonde uncomfortable. As she did so she felt JJ move closer to her burying her face in the crook of the brunettes neck. A flood of emotion rushed through Emily and she inhaled deeply slowly letting it go, revelling in the closeness she never thought she’d feel.
Laying there half awake both women knew they’d have to face the world after tonight making their lives a whole lot more difficult. But for now, in this room, it was not complicated.