Work Text:
It was a cool summer morning, bleeding into noon. Benichidori was alone in the dorm, sitting kneeling on her neatly done futon. Fresh air and light filtered through the open shoji, the sunny day giving enough light for her to see herself in the reflection of her hand mirror.
It was uncommon for her to be putting makeup on at this hour, but while training a part of her left eye paint had smudged and she had had to excuse herself. She hurried back to her room and makeup tools, and from there she had to clean her eye and start it over.
It was a long process. She successfully smoothened the new spot of foundation into the old layer. She powdered the darker eyeshadow on with perfectionism yet practiced ease.
She was lining her eye and painting her upper eyelashes when she felt something staring holes into her back, like a sixth sense, one that she’d learned to ignore.
False alarm after false alarm of feeling people staring and laughing her that never stopped no matter how many times she turned around to empty air taught her that the only thing she could do was make sure no one had any reason to. She would blame yokais for playing tricks on her, but what Benichidori worried about had never been inhuman.
No place, no safe zone, was truly safe however, and she was a ninja trained to be on alert at all times. The eyes prickled at her neck and for a moment she caught sight of someone in her mirror. Benichidori turned around today again.
She suppressed the adrenaline when she spotted the lanky figure standing in the doorway, framed by the brighter light of outside. The cat ears and tail were unmistakeable, though, and Benichidori quickly untensed.
There was no reason to hide her beastkin nature inside the Nakamoto house’s walls so she wore the same light garbs as every other ninja, instead of her full mission get-up with her mask and hood. Benichidori didn’t remember seeing her at the training grounds earlier, who knows what task Maizuru had given her. If she were to guess, the young teen didn’t even intend on doing it at all, coming back to the dorm to nap instead.
"How long have you been standing there?" She asked, faster and colder than she’d have liked.
She seemed thrown off balance now that she’d been caught staring. She snickered mean-spiritedly, swishing her tail as she crossed her arms and cocked her hip confidently, but it came across as insecure more than mocking.
So transparent that it was a bit pitiful, but subtlety had always been out of the question for her really. Benichidori was annoyed, but none of it showed on her face.
Benichidori was polite, so she greeted her first. "Asebi."
The silence stretched on for longer than was appropriate, both of them staying still as light tension filled the air.
She huffed, walking to her own futon in a corner of the room. "Yeah, yeah."
She curled up in her futon, her back to her, and Benichidori saw fit to get back to her makeup.
It was a lot of maintenance, but some things were worth putting in the effort. Asebi probably couldn’t understand, she never committed to anything. Not even in escaping, not really.
Out of everyone in the household, besides Hien, Benichidori cared about Asebi seeing her unadorned the least. She knew Hien didn’t judge, but what did it matter if a beastkin did judge her?
She finished her upper eyelashes and this time, when she felt a stare on her again she didn’t interrupt herself. She finished painting her eyelashes thicker and lining her eyelid before looking back at Asebi, who was now laying on her side facing her.
It wasn’t the first time Asebi had sent glances her way, and she probably thought she’d been stealthy with it, but it was the first time she stared so unabashedly, the first time they were alone while she did.
Benichidori thought she understood, though. Her interest wasn’t in her face, but what she was doing to it.
Benichidori maintained eye contact hesitantly and called out, setting down her makeup but still holding her brush. "Are you interested?"
Even on the other side of the room she visibly recoiled at her words, scowling. "Don’t say such stupid things."
She nodded. "Good. Maizuru only gives me a limited supply every few weeks, it’s mine."
And it was true. She didn’t have any to go around, and it was her main form of payment that she earned by her hard and efficient work. She should have remembered that Asebi was motivated by contrarianism.
The cat girl prowled forward towards her while she closed her eyeshadow container and opened her powder tray.
When Asebi caught up to her, she rudely grabbed the wrist of the hand that held the brush. "Let me try."
Benichidori frowned, looking at her wrist then up at her face. "No."
Her grip tightened and she tugged. "Give it to me!"
She pursed her lips, spoke firmly. "I’m your superior and your elder, you don’t make demands of me."
She snarled openly, spoke louder. "Who cares about that crap? I can demand whatever I want!"
Benichidori sighed. Anger bubbled in her. Ugly, useless and bad-mannered, it was a miracle the Nakamotos still kept her around at all. "And I refuse."
Asebi did something brash, lunging to grab her brush with her other hand. But Benichidori was measured down to the eyelash, collected, experienced since before Asebi had even arrived here. With quick precise movements she’d grabbed her wrist and thrown her off of her. Asebi lost her grip on her and fell onto her back.
Most ninjas, unlike Asebi, had a bigger bite than bark. Most hid their teeth, didn’t have to be loud to make their point. But this wasn’t a ninja, it was a child.
If she even was that. Benichidori looked at her sprawled on the ground, looking up at her with a scowl, her ears flattened against her head. It only made her look even more like an animal.
She suddenly didn’t look smug at all, no snickers left in her it seemed. What she saw then made her pause. Those same ears twitching, clinging onto her scalp, her tail curling around her protectively, her snarl clumsily highlighting the fear on her face. Her fangs were bare but her lips twitched downward as if greatly upset.
Something in her sang in worry for her rather than frustration for once. No, no, acting disaffected always worked better than threatening by swinging claws around wildly. Screaming in pain only allowed people to know where it hurt.
It hit her that she had nothing to properly cover her vulnerability. Her hood and mask on missions conserved her dignity in anonimity, but she was otherwise painfully naked wasn’t she.
Had no one taught her how the world worked? She remembered with a start that they had tried but Asebi resisted, and Maizuru wasn’t a lenient teacher. And yet now she was trying, here, in her own way. She saw some of herself, and though the thought mortified her it tugged at her heart more.
She was curious, if something could be done. To see Asebi, looking like a pretty girl.
She softened, tired of conflict once more, and she spoke before she thought better of it. "If I let you try makeup on, I’m the one putting it on you."
Her frown turned confused. "Huh?"
"I hate wasting and you would do a poor job. But you’ll have to stay still and listen to me." If she wanted it, she would have to at least act sensible during it. Have some reverence. No appearance could truly clean up a shoddy act, and the first skill a ninja and a lady learned was to listen.
She eyed her warily. "You’re not gonna ask why?"
"No." Why would she? It was obvious, with a face like that.
"Good."
She said it like the conversation was over, like she had the authority to close the topic. If anything, it was Benichidori’s benevolence that allowed her to.
Asebi had said her implying that she was interested in makeup was a stupid thing, and she had been right. It was stupid of Asebi, but Benichidori understood.
Asebi sat up with her hackles still raised, but she sat properly. Her face was hesitant, but still she knelt, her hands clutching her thighs.
Benichidori hummed, signifying her approval.
"The first step is to apply foundation." She dipped her clean brush in the powder. Her skin color was a bit different than Asebi’s, but it was close enough that it wouldn’t be noticeable at a glance. "Sit with your back straight."
She was pleased when Asebi obeyed, tensing up but fixing her posture. "Tilt your face up."
Now Benichidori had perfect access to her face. She put the brush on her skin confidently and started applying the foundation evenly. Asebi shivered but stayed still.
Even with an expert hand, Benichidori wasn’t used to painting on fur. It couldn’t be comfortable for her, but everyone had to do some sacrifices for beauty, except if you were like Hien.
She paused when she applied the powder to her nose. For a second she envied her. Sometimes her own dot tattoos bothered her. They were allowed to choose where to have their tattoo at least, Benichidori had chosen the bridge of her nose, at least making it symmetrical on her face. She’d admit she even often used them as reference points when doing her makeup, but the case was that no amount of makeup could make them disappear. Asebi didn’t even have one .
She persevered. The foundation was mindless enough to do, but when she got to the eyeshadow and highlights, Benichidori studied her features, wondering how to best frame them. She found her angle, and dipped her brush in the darker powder.
"Close your eyes."
Asebi’s hairs visibly puffed up. Benichidori saw the struggle on her face, she opened her mouth as if to yell but then clenched her teeth. Benichidori understood, it took a lot to trust, to be naked yet to avert your gaze from others’ eyes. She remained patient and silent, and eventually Asebi closed her eyes shut.
"Don’t clench them so much, relax your eyelids or it’ll make my job harder." She said neutrally, not wanting it to sound like a jab.
She did, but her nose crinkled in frustration instead. She grumbled and Benichidori stilled for a moment in warning. She was growing too comfortable getting rebellious again, hopefully she’d hold off on talking back until she was done.
The rest was done in silence. She worked efficiently, going through the same motions as when she painted her own face, shooting for the same style. She asked her to open her eyes briefly, to judge how the results were shaping up.
She had pretty eyes despite it all, an inhuman golden. When she put dark eyeshadow around them, the warm tone complimented the yellow blaze in them, and when she lined her eyes with black it only made her gaze more intense.
Her eyelashes were short, maybe because her furry eyelids stuck out more than her eyes. Her eyebrows were hard to emphasize right, the line between what was hair and what was fur blurred. Her lips were thin yet the pronounced curve of them felt unnatural, but she tried her best to contour and fill them with rouge flatteringly. Benichidori had never seen a feline up close, she wondered how much of this all was from it and what was just Asebi.
She leaned back from her work after blending the blush in all the right places with special attention to her cheeks and nose, satisfied with the technique of her work. What she saw when she looked at the full picture sapped the pride out of her however.
She didn’t remember the foundation sticking out with an uneven texture like this— Had Asebi’s fur risen on its ends and pushed the makeup around? You could see the little hairs in a lot of places, even identify the direction in which they went. Some hairs especially near the edges of her cheeks clumped together and made lumps.
Despite her best efforts, the color on her lips and cheeks felt too strong still, like the hair below clung onto the pigments. The foundation contrasted with the white and black of her hair— fur?— unflatteringly, feeling both too pale and too dark.
Amongst the rest the eyeshadow didn’t seem purposefully intense now, but like a kid who’d put on makeup for the first time and gone for excess. Her ears stood alert and enhanced the look as if it was a costume.
She looked like one of the entertainers you’d see at a sideshow. She realized her mistake of using unfit products now, but makeup made for fur was only used in carnivals. Makeup was sometimes meant to be laughed at, too.
Asebi’s eyes were clenched shut, still.
Her heart sank, she had stayed obedient and trusting until the end.
Benichidori was sorry for having given her hope.
Asebi noticed her touch was gone, heard the way she wasn’t moving. "Is it done?"
Before Benichidori could find the words, Asebi moved. She couldn’t help herself, she touched her cheek. Benichidori froze, only stared as she smudged the makeup across, some powder stuck to her fingertips even as she removed her hand.
It worsened the mess. She’d noticed it when blending in colors, but makeup smudged very easily on her. It didn’t stick right on her texture, clung too much yet slid easily.
Asebi opened her eyes and looked at her fingers, startled. Benichidori made no move and before she knew it Asebi caught a sliver of her reflection in the mirror she held.
She stared for a second, different emotions flickering in them. She burned with shame, visible even through the fur and the foundation.
Benichidori would, too, if it was her. Her eyebrows furrowed. Poor girl, if she could even be called one.
With a rageful cry Asebi batted away the mirror as if it burned her and it fell to the ground. Benichidori cried out in worry, lunging for it. She bent down over it, taking it into her careful hands and turning it over to inspect for any cracks.
Please don’t be broken, please-
She traced its frame and looked at every bit of it, focusing on the glass and not the reflection of her wide scared eyes staring back at her. She sighed in relief, her whole body untensing when she confirmed it sustained no damage.
Anger flared in her and with an uncontrolled scowl she swirled towards Asebi to scream-
Benichidori turned to empty air. She didn’t even need to yell at Asebi to get out, she was gone.
Probably running towards the nearest pond to wash her face. Benichidori hoped, at least, for her sake.
She let out a shaky breath, then heaved a sigh, calming down. Looking down at the intact mirror in her hands, she remembered that she hadn’t re-applied her blush yet.
She was glad for the task, but was starting to worry about how much time it had been since she excused herself. She recomposed herself as she let the fluffy brush dance on her cheek, let her eyes pick apart if anything was out of place. She just hoped this was the last time she’d have to fix her face again that day.
Benichidori enclosed herself in more makeup and Asebi roamed back out into her open-air enclosure.