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Getting random calls from Gojo was nothing new to Nanami anymore, but each time was just as worrying as the last. Hearing the never wavered Satoru Gojo crying on the phone, asking, begging, Nanami to come to his place, to save him.
And each time, Nanami obliged. No matter the time, no matter how far away he was, he'd always come.
He knew it was foolish to hope that Gojo felt the same, especially with how almost every one of those calls asking him to come over end up with him crying over Geto, clinging to Nanami as if he was the only thing keeping him alive, but… Nanami was a fool when it came to Gojo, he couldn't deny that.
Each time, he hoped Gojo finding comfort in Nanami was genuine, something more than a desperate attempt to keep himself grounded. Maybe there could even be love for Nanami, somewhere deep within, somewhere where Geto hasn't tainted like he seemed to have tainted Gojo's heart, mind and soul.
He had to stop his mind from wandering any further, had to put his feelings aside. This wasn't about him, it never was. Gojo was his priority, just as he always has been, just like he always will be.
Walking to Gojo's bedroom as soon as he entered his apartment was instinct by now, knowing exactly where to find him, the loud sobbing also guiding him. Gojo always hid his emotions well, but at the privacy of his home, he could let himself go.
And Nanami hoped Gojo letting him see him this way meant something, anything at all. He really just wanted to mean something to Gojo, even knowing he could never mean the same to Gojo as Gojo does to him.
Even in his broken state, Gojo was still alert. As soon as Nanami opened the door, Gojo threw the blankets he's been hiding in to expose his vulnerable self to Nanami, still openly sobbing.
And again as if on instinct, Nanami walked to Gojo in quick long strides, immediately holding Gojo as soon as he settled on the bed. And maybe Gojo also had an instinct when it came to Nanami, judging on how quickly he clinged to the other, sobs getting louder and more broken.
It was the same as every time. Nanami held Gojo, rubbing his back, whispering reassuring words, until Gojo calmed down enough to breathe. This was when Nanami would ask if he had drank water, eaten, if he needed anything– except this time, he was interrupted by Gojo before he could even open his mouth. It wasn't by words though, no, it was by actions. Sure, they were affectionate during these moments, but… not like this, it's never been Gojo straddling Nanami's lap and holding his face gently, far too gently considering the way he usually clings.
Nanami stared, completely dumbstruck, not really being able to string together a coherent thought, let alone a sentence. But it didn't seem to bother Gojo, as he spoke first, “Geto used to look at me like that too, as if in awe that I was his… He always said I'm meant to be treasured and worshipped… Nanami, do you think the same?” The question sat heavy in the air as Nanami tried to quickly get his mind back together, not wanting to upset or distress Gojo in any way.
And as soon as Nanami pieced his mind back together to properly process the question, his immediate answer was “Yes.”
It wasn't a hard question, really. Nanami has always seen Gojo as a treasure far out of his reach, as a God to be worshipped and Nanami a mere devoted follower. Nanami was Gojo's, but Gojo was still owned by a memory of a person.
“Then…” as Gojo spoke, he leaned in closer, lips almost touching. “Show me?” And this time, Nanami didn't even try to think. His body reacted on its own, closing the small gap between them and sighing into the kiss.
Gojo kissed like his life depended on it, like he needed Nanami's lips more than air, yet somehow still gentle. Nanami wanted this for so, so long, and now he finally got it.
So why did it feel so wrong?
Nanami was always attentive, and in this moment, he wished he wasn't. He wished he didn't notice Gojo reaching for a bun that didn't exist, wished he didn't notice how Gojo hesitated before entangling his hand in Nanami's short hair, wished he didn't notice how it took him a second to get back into the kiss, wish he didn't notice how much less passion the kiss had.
But Nanami let himself indulge anyway, despite the heavy feeling in his heart, despite knowing Nanami wasn't the one Gojo wanted to kiss.