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Suguru Geto was a jujutsu sorcerer.
Suguru Geto was 17 years old.
His curse technique was valued; it was seen in high regard. Cursed Spirit Manipulation, any curse spirit within a certain grade that he consumed he could control. Some were more useful than others, some were more prized. Every curse spirit tasted awful. It took Suguru years to learn how to consume the curses without gagging and vomiting and he still couldn't always do that.
Since the incident with Riko Amanai last year, Suguru had started to work on his own. He felt isolated from everyone- but most of all- from Satoru Gojo. It was a weird feeling. Suguru longed to be with his friend, but sometimes he felt “friend” wasn't the right word.
Once he and Satoru together were the strongest, but now Satoru was the strongest on his own. Suguru was sure he wasn't strong on his own.
It wasn't that long ago that Yu Haibara died, shortly after calling Suguru a good person. It was cruel, not of Haibara, but of fate itself.
When he met Yuki Tsukumo she told him something. A way to get rid of all cursed spirits. A way to free everyone from suffering. If they could just kill every non-sorcerer, not just him, but everyone in the Jujutsu world could be free from it.
Suguru hated how the idea made him feel. He hated that it made sense how it brought him a sense of peace.
He hated how it was his first thought when he saw two girls locked in a wooden cell like beasts.
He was sent to this village to deal with some run of the mill curse spirits, curse spirits he had easily dealt with, but the village was blaming these two girls who were no older than 6.
The truly sickening feeling only grew stronger in Suguru as the village elders behind him spoke. He could only hear their voices, their words couldn’t be made out under a layer of dissociation.
He could easily wipe out the village. It would be so simple to just kill everyone here. If he did that he could never go back to jujutsu high. He would be a wanted criminal and have an instant death sentence. He'd never see Satoru Gojo again. No, he knew they'd send Satoru to kill him.
Suguru let out a shaky breath, “we can’t just kill these kids,” he explained to the villagers
Before they could rebuttal him he continued, “If these girls truly are curse users you can’t simply kill them, they could turn into more powerful curse spirits,” that last part was a half lie. It's true a Jujutsu sorcerer or even a curse user could become a curse after they die but it wasn’t as simple as just killing them. The lie was the best thing Suguru could think of to avoid a fate where anyone would have to die.
He turned away from the terrified girls to face the villagers, “I’ll take them with me to Jujutsu high where we can properly execute them.” Suguru hated how those words felt coming out of his mouth.
He turned back to the children. He hated how scared they looked, he couldn’t tell them the truth yet. Tell them that they can be safe, that he would find somewhere else for them to go. That he wouldn’t let any more innocent people die.
The next few events went by in a blur. The girls were released from the cage. He learned their names were Mimiko and Nanako and that they were twins. He didn’t need to be asked or told how they were treated for him to understand that. He was grateful as he led the girls away from the village.
He told them that they weren’t actually being taken to Jujutsu high to be executed. He told them that he had no intention of harming them at all. He told them he just wanted to get them someplace safe. Someplace away from the village, someplace away from everything. It was all he felt he could do.
It was all he had the power to do.
Sometime later Geto found himself approaching Jujutsu High, but just before he entered the barrier he stumbled. He didn’t want to go back. He didn’t want to return to that world anymore. He was sick of it. He no longer even knew why he was doing it, what it actually meant to be a Jujutsu sorcerer.
It should be to protect the weak, but he found himself wondering if the weak even needed to be protected. When he thought about this, the images, the sounds of the Star Religious Group’s applause as they saw Riko’s lifeless body came back to him. And Toji Fushiguro, someone with no cursed energy at all, someone who was almost able to kill Satoru, someone who only let Suguru live because he didn’t want to deal with the cursed spirits currently inside his body. Did people like that truly need protection? Did people like that truly deserve to be protected?
He couldn’t do it anymore. He collapsed. He pulled himself to a tree trying to hide away from everyone. He didn’t want to be seen. He wanted to disappear. It would have been the easier way to get away from it all. He had no idea what to do now. But he knew one thing, he wanted to be with Satoru.
Suguru was shaking as he pulled his phone from his pocket. He could hardly pull up Satoru’s phone number. He listened to the ringing of the phone, waiting for Satoru to pick up. As it rang, however, he began to wonder if his friend would even pick up. Satoru was too busy for him nowadays. Just as Suguru was about to hang up there was a click and the voice Suguru wanted to hear so much on the other end.
“Suguru?”
“Satoru,” as soon as Suguru said his friend's name, everything keeping him together left as he broke down into sobs.
“Fuck, Suguru are you okay?”
The concern in Satoru’s voice just made Suguru fall apart more, his body shaking with tears running down his face.
“I can't do this anymore,” Suguru barely choked out. “I can't keep doing it.”
“Doing what?” Suguru could hear shuffling on the other end of the phone. “Talk to me Suguru,” Satoru's voice was calm but still full of panic. “Just stay on the phone with me okay. Where are you?”
“Outside Tengan’s barrier.”
“Okay, look I am gonna be there as soon as I can okay. I’m not at the school right now so it might take me a bit. just hang tight okay.” Satoru tried his best to reassure Suguru.
Suguru nodded, knowing Satoru couldn’t see him.
He had no idea how long it would take Satoru to get to him. Though the white haired sorcerer had been practising being able to “teleport” between spaces he still hasn’t perfected the technique. Either way, Suguru would be lying if he said he wasn’t waiting for Satoru. Just the idea of being with his friend made him feel better.
Suguru wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he heard footsteps approaching him. He didn’t look up, he kept his forehead pressed against his arms as he sat in a fetal position with his knees pressed close to his chest.
“Suguru,” Satoru's voice was abnormally quiet as he slowly approached his friend.
Slowly, Suguru raised his head, his face stained with tears that started falling again once he made eye contact with his friend.
Satoru sat beside Suguru, bringing his arm around him and pulling him into a hug of sorts. “What’s wrong, I've never seen you cry before.”
“I’m weak,” Suguru choked out.
“You’re not,” Satoru tried to reassure him.
“I am.”
“Suguru…”
“I’m not like you,” Suguru muttered between sobs, “ever since Riko…I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore.”
“You told me that Jujutsu sorcerers exist to protect non-sorcerers. Isn’t that what you’re doing?”
Suguru was surprised that Satoru even remembered that, he said that before they were sent to recover and erase Riko. That idea sat heavy in his mind now. He isn’t sure if he was right back then, maybe he really was being self righteous. He wasn’t sure he couldn’t say that now and mean it.
“In the village,” Suguru began as he felt himself starting to cry more, “they blamed everything on two kids.” Satoru pulled him in closer, “Satoru, they wanted those kids dead.” He broke once more, bringing a hand to his mouth to quiet his sobs.
Satoru didn’t say anything as he pulled Suguru into his chest and began running his fingers through Suguru’s hair.
“Are the kids safe?” Satoru eventually asked.
Suguru nodded.
“That’s good.”
“I wanted to kill them all Satoru,” Suguru muttered, “everyone in the village.”
Silence fell between the two for a while. At this point Suguru had stopped crying. A whole year worth of emotions that has been building up finally let go. It made Suguru feel better in some ways. But it also came with a heart breaking understanding.
“Satoru,” he muttered into his friend's chest, “I can’t keep being a jujutsu sorcerer.”
“Then you don’t have to be.”
“I do.”
“No,” Satoru paused. “You don’t. I’ll take care of it, all of it for you.”
“What about Jujutsu high?”
“I told you, I’ll take care of it.”
“But…”
“Suguru, I got this, don't worry, I’ll be the strongest for both of us.”
Suguru pressed himself deeper into Satoru, and Satoru responded by hugging him tighter.
The day was drawing to a close, the air growing colder, the light fainter. How long the two of them had been sitting there neither of them knew.
The two entered into Tengans barrier and made their way to the dorms. Surguru wondered if this would be his last time here. His last time sleeping in the dorms, his room beside Satoru’s. He knew he would miss his friends at jujutsu high, but he knew if he stayed something would eventually happen and they would no longer be friends.
Once they reached the doors to their rooms there was a hesitancy. Suguru wasn’t ready to part ways with Satoru just yet. He stared at his door. He didn’t want to be alone.
“Want to stay in my room tonight?” Satoru asked.
Suguru wasn’t sure if Satoru picked up on how he was feeling or if Satoru likewise didn’t want to be alone. But Suguru nodded.
“I’ll get changed and meet you in your room,” Suguru told Satoru.
Satoru nodded, and smiled, “the door will be open.”
Suguru didn’t realise that Satoru hadn’t smiled since they met outside the barrier.
Suguru entered his room, only now realising how sore and tired he was. Mostly that his ribs ached. Looking at the alarm clock on his bedside table and seeing how late it was, he knew it was because he had been wearing his binder too long. Slowly he removed each layer of clothes he had on. Once his binder was off, he tossed it to the side taking in a deep breath to clear up his lungs. He wasn’t sure if that actually made a difference but Suguru at least tried to bind safely. Doing his best to avoid looking at his body, he grabbed a tee shirt and pulled it over his head, trying his best to cover up his silhouette. The last thing he wanted right now was to be reminded about his chest.
After getting changed, Suguru made his way over to Satoru’s room, and the door was unlocked when he went to open it. Satoru was already in bed, his usual sunglasses placed on the bedside table. Suguru silently curled up beside his friend. Satoru wrapped his arm around him, pulling Suguru closer, resting his chin on the top of his head. Suguru finally closed his eyes, the exhaustion of the day finally catching up to him. And as his breathing slowed down, he figured Satoru must have thought he fell asleep. Because unprompted in the quiet of the night Satoru whispered softly,
“I love you.”
And in his mind, Suguru responded, I love you too.