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“I think we’re lost,” Anakin says, halting to a stop. He has one hand propped up on his hip and the other blocking the quickly fading daylight. You came to a stand beside him, mimicking his posture. Your feet, swollen and sore, ache from hours of walking. Beads of sweat slowly drip down your skin.
You are, indeed, lost.
You and Anakin had been sent out by your shared Master, Obi-Wan, on what was supposed to be a straightforward and easy mission. Alas, it had not turned out so simple.
You landed in a bustling city speaking only unrecognizable languages. Not surprising, since the planet was one of many just outside the vicinity of the Republic’s rule. Yet, Obi-Wan had still tasked you to retrieve something evidently very important to recover. He had instructed you to “follow the sun” and that it’d “illuminate the path.”
Obi-Wan hadn’t explained what this mysterious object was, either. He only said “you’ll know when you find it.”
As soon as you touched down on the foreign planet, you and Anakin had begun to hike in the direction of the sun, per Master Obi-Wan’s instructions. Unfortunately, all it had done was leave you stranded, miles from any signs of civilization, and far away from your only means of transportation.
“How could you have managed to lose that communicator?” Anakin asks you, irritation clear in his voice, watching the daylight sink behind the horizon. His brows pull together and form a deep crease between them. You shift your weight from one foot to the other as a pang of guilt strikes you.
There was that, too. Obi-Wan had trusted you with the communicator, heeding the instruction to call him if you needed backup. By the time you remembered you were carrying it, hours ago, it was nowhere to be found. It had been stolen.
“I don't understand how someone could have noticed I had it in the first place. It was hidden.” You say, lifting one of the many elaborate layers of your Jedi robes to reveal the deliberately concealed belt it had been attached to. It was much more discreet than how Anakin wore his own, boldly tied around the waist.
You continue, “It’s not exactly easy to get to. And if they were simply looking to sell it, why not snag this, too?” You touch the handle of your lightsaber, it would have been terrible to have lost it. You ensure that it was securely attached before concealing it again.
Why had the thief only stolen the communicator? It was not a fancy or high-tech piece of equipment; it would not sell for much. A lightsaber would be sure to earn a pretty penny.
It was strange, though, that neither of you had noticed it. You should have been able to sense someone approaching, as would have Anakin, but there had been no indication at all.
But the communicator was lost. You’ll have to wait the night out and resume your search in the morning.
“We need to find shelter,” Anakin says, scanning the environment as the sun continues to disappear. Thankfully this planet seemed quite habitable, it was unlike the many planets with more treacherous conditions that you had grown familiar with. All day you had been trekking through rolling hills covered with grass up to your knees until the sun guided you into a forest terrain, with many rushing streams with the clearest water you’d ever seen.
You were standing in the beginning of a clearing now, the forest a short walk behind you and a waterfront not too far ahead. A gentle yellow glow shimmers off the waterfront where the sunlight fades. You notice a cliffside within your view, with jagged stone that stretches far into the air. There is a wide crack at the base of the wall. You nudge Anakin’s arm, letting him know that you want to go investigate. You jog a closer and find that the crack was a shallow cave.
Anakin’s footsteps echo not far behind. “Good find,” he praises, observing the cave for himself. It would be cramped, but would provide enough room to house you, him, and a small fire. It was unclear how long the night would be, so it was best to prepare for a lengthy wait. He nods once, approvingly, then jogs away to collect the means to build a fire.
You collect various stones scattered around the cave to help create a base for the fire to be housed in. Not long after you finish aligning the rocks in an almost-circular pattern, Anakin returns with his arms full of sticks and twigs. You move out of the way to allow him plenty of room to construct the fire, and lean back against the cave wall. It's terribly cold, causing a violent shiver to course through you. You would definitely need a source of heat tonight. Anakin continues striking two rocks together in an attempt to emit a spark, the clicking of stones bouncing off the walls.
Though he was working on the fire alone, as it was a one person job, it was a skill you both knew well. It was one of many basic survival skills that Jedi were required to learn, aside from the obvious defense training and working to hone your connection with the Force. Building a fire was one of the first skills Obi-Wan had taught you.
Obi-Wan has been your Master for years now. You were found, miraculously, on one of the many excursions Obi-Wan had taken Anakin on during his early years of training. Obi-Wan had sensed something about you, and thus, you had been recruited to begin Jedi training.
It had taken some bickering, as you had overheard while eavesdropping, for the Jedi Council to allow Obi-Wan a second Padawan. Given Qui-Gon’s unfortunate and untimely death, and Anakin’s still very early stages of training, the Council begrudgingly allowed him a second.
Since then, you and Anakin have been training together. You would duel often, both highly competitive in nature and held a deep desire to win. As Anakin had advanced through his training, he began to duel with higher trained Jedi and even started to be sent out on independent missions. You weren’t quite there yet, but weren’t far behind. Despite your similar age, he still did have those few more years of training ahead of you. The difference in levels unfortunately distanced you and him, not only unable to see each other as often, but weren’t able to train or duel together any longer.
Being sent on a mission solely with Anakin was unexpected. You weren’t sure why Master Obi-Wan wouldn’t let you take missions without him, even though you'd proven yourself fully capable of doing so, but he was still hesitant.
Yet here you are, on a mission with only Anakin, without Master Obi-Wan. It was a stepping stone, at least.
A soft flicker catches your attention when he successfully strikes enough sparks. You lean in and watch the small flame dance around and grow brighter. You smile up at him, thankful, and find a pleased smile of his own directed back at you. He had a charming smile, one that always reached the corners of his eyes. He drops his gaze from you and pokes at the flames with one of the sticks, ensuring enough wood would catch fire to keep it lit through the evening. As the final rays of daylight disappear, the flame’s reddish glow proudly illuminates the cave and a small radius just beyond the entrance.
You sit quietly for some time, watching the flames dance. The embers almost appear to be pulsing, as if it were breathing in the very oxygen it needed to burn.
The quiet crackling allows you a moment to think. It really was odd that just the communicator had been stolen. Someone must have managed to spot it, but how? It had been well concealed. And why take just the communicator and not the lightsaber? Something felt off about it.
“Anakin,” you say to catch his attention. He jolts, he must have been lost in thought, too. “How would someone have known of the communicator if it couldn't be seen? And the fact that we didn’t sense anything, doesn’t it strike you as odd?”
He hums while he thinks, a small crease forming between his brows. He pokes the fire gently with the stick he holds. “It is odd. We would have noticed the presence of any threats.”
A curious idea comes to you. “Maybe it wasn’t a threat." Everything had been too coincidental at this point, could any of it have been intentional? “What if it was supposed to get stolen?”
He tilts his head to observe you with a puzzled frown. “What do you mean?”
No one could have seen the communicator, let alone determined it more valuable than your lightsaber. No one would have been able to remove the communicator from you, either, without needing to unclip it. The only way it could have been stolen would have been through use of the Force. The only people who could use the Force so stealthily, and without notifying anyone of their presence, would have to be a Jedi. A highly skilled one at that.
“It had to have been intentional,” you say. Nothing else made logical sense.
“You’re making an excuse,” He accuses, agitated. He pokes the fire again with more frustration than before.
“Hear me out,” you add. “Master Obi-Wan sent us here on an oddly vague mission request, where our only instructions were to simply ‘follow the sun.’” You say and he nods along, listening so far. “You must have noticed that this is a very mild planet, no harsh weather with plenty of resources.” You pause, watching the gears tick behind his eyes. “Anakin, I don’t think this mission was what we were led to believe.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” he says, voice heavy with agitation still. Though, it did seem to strike him as odd, especially with the lack of information they had been given beforehand. The irritation in his voice weakens, growing more curious. “What do you think this mission was intended to be?”
It was a stretch, but only one reason made any sense. “To test our survival skills,” you say, not allowing him a moment to question the idea before you explain further. “We could get stranded on any planet at any time, right? We were given instructions that would intentionally cause us to get lost. This just so happens to be a safe planet, too, where we’ve encountered no real danger, and there’s plenty of resources for food or water if we truly needed it.” You finish. Anakin processes your explanation silently. Obi-Wan was clever, this was well known, but would he really attempt to mislead you both like this?
“You believe he’s sent us here on a false mission with the intention of us losing the communicator and getting lost, and having to practice our survival skills?” He says, he sounds almost amused.
“Yes.” You say. “Unless you have a better idea of what’s going on?”
“It was an odd mission quest,” he says, gears ticking into place. “Maybe you’re right.” He says flatly, believing you. You hid your prideful smile. He continues, “If that is the case, we will see what tomorrow brings. For the time being, how do you suggest we pass the time? We’ve traveled rather far today, you’re likely as tired as I am. We could sleep in shifts?”
Sleeping would be the fastest way to pass the time, but sleeping in strange, foreign places was not something that you could do so easily.
“I’ll take the first watch,” you offer. Anakin seems reluctant to allow himself to sleep first, but agrees. You stand from your place by the fire and approach the edge of the cave, close enough for the heat of the fire to still reach you, but far enough away to have a good watch of the outside. He shifts around, his movements bouncing off the cave walls, before he seems to find himself a good place to lay.
Your body aches, fatigue tugging at every muscle. When you lean against the wall this time, it isn't as cold as before.
You sense the moment that Anakin fell asleep. You were both familiar with each other’s presence in the Force, having meditated together for many hours throughout the years. He had always been a bright, bluish-white glow against the fuzzy haze of everything else. He had described you before as a warm, golden light, much like a beam of sun. As he fell further asleep, his bright glow grew brighter as he sank deeper into his subconscious. The peacefulness of his slumber radiates off from him and brings you a soft feeling of peace, too.
As you look out beyond the cave, still using the Force to sense everything around you, small slivers of light make themselves known; miniscule lifeforms revealing themselves as they quietly chirp into the night.
Goosebumps litter your arms as a cold breeze whips against you, pulling you from your focus.
It was going to be a long night.
You grow restless. Despite the fatigue you feel, you are itching to do something to pass the time. You glance back at Anakin, confirming he was still fast asleep, before standing and leaving the cave. You walk out a few meters into the darkness, just far enough away to activate your lightsaber without the noise echoing into the cave.
You plant your feet in a wide stance and center yourself. Anakin’s Force presence is far enough away that you likely won’t disturb him. You let your lightsaber fall forward, aiding its swing as you begin to move through basic maneuvers. You step forward for a strike and back for an imaginary dodge. Your feet feel heavier than normal, likely due to the exhaustion from the day.
As you connect further with the Force, the lightsaber becomes no more than an extension of yourself. Twisting and turning, begin to practice more advanced techniques. You cut through the darkness swiftly, body growing warm as muscles continue to warm up. You shake out your shoulders, centering yourself once more in an attempt to relax the burning. You twirl and swing with practiced skill, dodging imaginary swipes and jabs with ease.
Anakin’s presence in the Force flickers in the corner of your vision, but you pay it no mind; you focus on completing your sequence of steps. Stepping to the side once more, another flicker much brighter this time, distracts you, and you almost lose your footing. You stumble slightly, slipping from the unsteady ground, but manage to keep your footing. However, this caused a break in concentration, your lightsaber now a tool once again, so you decide to take a break.
The wind wasn’t as cold as before, instead, it was a welcome, soothing breeze after warming up. You sit with your knees to your chest, arms wrapped around them. You gaze up towards the sky, the night is clearer than it was on your home planet, stars shining bright. As your eyes adjust to the darkness, you can see much further than before. The moon above emits just enough light to see the edge of the forest in the distance.
You feel calm, for the most part. You feel safe, too, since there is no known danger anywhere nearby. Even if there was, you’d sense it from miles away. You should feel completely fine.
But you can’t ignore the dull ache in your chest.
You missed Anakin. Yes, you still saw him in passing and occasionally stumbled upon him while he was training many times, but you hadn’t spent time together in a long while. When you first met him, and for a while after your first trip to Coruscant, you weren’t sure what you thought of him. He was too noisy, talkative, and asked way too many questions. However, he took it upon himself to help introduce you to the Jedi world in your first few years and you began to look up to Anakin much similarly to an older brother.
As you both grew older, those feelings shifted into entirely different.
The Jedi Code prohibited any form of attachments, barring you from forming any connection that you’d prioritize over serving the Republic. This was a simple rule to follow in theory, but emotions don’t work that way.
You’d fallen for him years ago. Maybe it had something to do with the Force bond you held, but there was something about him that made you feel at peace. Your appreciation and admiration for him remained strong throughout the years, and possibly even grew, in your time apart.
It didn’t matter, and it never would, but you the feeling was there anyway. Despite your best efforts, you never successfully stopped feeling this way about him.
Right around the time you started truly recognizing these feelings, the time you spent training and meditating with him began to dwindle. It may have been a blessing in disguise, or maybe Obi-Wan had sensed it and needed it to be put to an end.
It’s not easy to prevent these feelings from seeping through to him through the Force. If you let your guard down long enough, Anakin would be sure to sense it.
Footsteps crunching against the gravely dirt behind you pull from your thoughts.
“Hey,” you greet as Anakin comes to sit beside you.
“Hey,” he replies back with a soft smile, sitting himself with his legs outstretched, hand supporting his weight behind him. The moonlight illuminates his features but steals the hue from his skin. His eyes glow a mercury color rather than the deep blue they usually were.
“Couldn’t sleep?” You ask, but was sure he had gotten some rest.
“I slept a little bit. Thanks for keeping watch.” He smiles warmly at you again before turning his attention elsewhere. His attention is drawn towards the stars, silently embracing the beauty of its vastness. You could feel a faint buzz of your Force connection between you. You sit quietly, watching the stars ahead together, until the buzzing begins to intensify.
You look over at him and find him deep in thought, brows knit once again. Something was clearly on his mind, but he seems apprehensive to speak on it. You allow the buzzing to linger, opening yourself up slightly after noticing he was trying to dull down his own Force presence. You want to encourage him to talk about whatever it was that was on his mind.
However, you very quickly grow antsy from sitting still and still being bombarded by the buzzing emitting from Anakin. Dropping your gaze from the stars, look at the ground around you. Various sized rocks were near, close enough to collect without much effort. Shifting so that you were sitting cross legged, you reach around you and collect five rocks, each no bigger than your hand.
He glances in your direction once while you collect the rocks, but pays no mind to your actions, and returns his attention to the stars overhead.
Carefully, you brush away some gravel and level a small section of the ground in front of you. You place the biggest stone down, creating a sturdy base, and begin to stack the set of rocks. It takes you a few tries, repeatedly tipping your work over on the fourth stone. Eventually, you manage to balance the final stone on the tower.
You smile proudly, pleased to have achieved this small success, no matter how insignificant it truly was. Not a moment later, with a very light Force push, you knock the tower back over. The stones ricochet off of each other, scattering once again.
“Why did you do that?” Anakin asks, startling you from the sudden voice. You had been focused so intensely on finding the perfect balance that you didn't notice him watching. He looks at the fallen tower with confusion. “That took you a while.”
You nod, it had taken you a while, but there was nothing more to be done after it was built than to have it knocked down and try again. You reach around and retrieve the preselected rocks, placing them in front of him. “You try,” you suggest.
He hesitates for a brief moment before leaning up and flattening a small section of dirt for his own attempt. It didn’t take him as long, likely able to sense each stone's center of gravity better than you could, until he was able to create a tower of his own. He looks up to you with a wide, toothy grin.
“Harder than it looks,” he says, admiring his own success.
The buzzing between you had calmed down for the moments he had been focused. Now, the buzzing returns in its full glory. You grow concerned.
“What’s going on, Anakin? Something is off. I can feel it, you know,” you say.
He sighs and quiets for a moment before he pushes his own stack of stones over, also with a Force push. You both watch as the rocks scatter in different directions. Finally, he looks at you. “Do you agree with every aspect of the Jedi Code?” He asks, selecting each word carefully.
You shake your head immediately. “Of course not. I see the reasoning and logic behind them, sure, but do I agree with all of them? Not really.” You reply. Despite the bluntness of your answer, you know you can be honest with him, even if it discusses aspects of the Jedi Order in a somewhat negative light. You both know you could not like the rules yet still choose to follow them.
The buzzing between you fades slightly. Anakin reaches for one of the stones from earlier, the smallest of the group, and rolls it around between his thumb and forefinger. “Neither do I.”
He fiddles with the stone for another moment before gently placing it back on the ground. He clearly left something unsaid.
“What don’t you agree with?” You ask, but know it’ll help ease his hesitation if you speak on it first. You pick up the same rock he had just placed back down, rolling it around in your palm before allowing it to fall still. Both the moonlight and dull glow of the fire behind you reflect off the smooth surface. “I don’t agree with the ones that you can’t truly control, like requiring us to ‘let go of attachments.’ Our duty is to the Republic, yes, but there’s truly no one we are fighting for. We are really only fulfilling a duty. You can’t expect someone to have absolutely no attachments, especially when, despite their best efforts, it’s bound to happen anyway.”
Apparently it was exactly what he needed to hear in order to open up.
He glances at you with an unreadable expression before turning his attention overhead. “I miss my mother,” he says softly, “I’m not so sure that I’ll be able to let go of that attachment to the fullness that the Jedi Code requires. It feels wrong, as if, in doing so, I’m telling her that I no longer care about her like a son should. I don’t understand why we can’t care for many things at once, and not just the Republic.” His eyes narrow as he focuses on something above, expression softening. “I care about Master Obi-Wan, and I’m sure you do, too. We were taken at such a young age, I don’t see how you’d not view your Master as a parental figure. He’s both a father and a brother to me, not just my Master.” He looks back to the ground, eyes fixing to the small pebble. “I care deeply about a few others, too.”
The buzzing continues to calm down, merely a hum now. He always felt things deeply, it was what made his Force presence so powerful. His struggle with attachments was no surprise. However, other than his mother and Obi-Wan, who else did he deeply care for to such an intense capacity?
“I miss my parents, too,” you say. “I know I have a deep connection towards a few people in my life, too, that I cannot seem to let go of. Not in the way the Jedi Code wants me to.”
What you said was true, but your list of attachments was likely smaller than his. Truly, you still love your parents, but you love them in the same capacity you care for the Republic. You haven't much time with them before being pulled away and introduced to Jedi training; they were more of a concept than actual members of your life now.
You care about Obi-Wan similarly to how Anakin said, too. He was like a father figure to you; a mentor and a guardian. He is your Master, after all.
But you care for Anakin for different reasons than you care for everyone else. There was a pull, a magnetic attraction, just something that drew you close and beckoned for you to fall deeper, into a pit you knew you couldn’t climb out of.
A soft warmth floods to your cheeks and you realize that your hold on your emotions is weakening. If you weren’t careful, Anakin would be able to sense the full spectrum of what you feel through the Force. You shift yourself back into the way you had been sitting earlier, knees pulled to your chest and arms holding them in place. The closed off posture helps keep everything you feel encased within you, protected.
“If the Code didn’t exist, or didn’t matter, do you think you’d seek out more attachments?” Anakin asks, tone light and curious.
Thankful for the distraction from your own thoughts, you ask back, “In what capacity?”
He tilts his head to the side and the loose strands of longer, rebellious hair fall with the motion. “Any, really. Familial, platonic, romantic.”
How would you not want to, if given the choice? Maybe it was part of the curiosity; another feeling you were supposed to snuff out per the Code. You’d pursue a reconnection with your parents, for one, since you never had the chance to develop it in the first place. You had platonic attachments already, but you’d want to explore the full depth to them without needing to limit how deeply those connections actually rooted. You knew, though, that the deeper a platonic relationship resonated for you, the more likely it was to desire a romantic one, instead.
“Definitely,” you finally answer after too long of a pause. “What about you?”
He takes a grounding breath before answering. “I’d leave the Order for it.”
“You’d leave the Order for, what, the chance to explore these attachments further?” You ask in a rush. Was he thinking about leaving?
“For someone, I would.” He answers, very matter of fact. “If I knew it’d be worth it.” He adds.
This was surprising, but for some reason, it also wasn’t. “How would you know if it’d be worth it?” You ask carefully.
“I suppose I wouldn’t,” he replies, eyes soft as he gazes across the sky. A soft, hopeful smile forms on his features. “But it could be.”
Was he really considering leaving? Not only would this mean the Republic would lose one of its, if not the most skilled and talented Jedi in training; it’d also mean you’d be training and fighting alone. You shake your head. “But you’d be sacrificing everything you’ve been working towards for years. Would you give that all up?”
“I want to love freely.” He says, voice verging on the edge of a plea. His smile fades not a moment later. “It’s not a fair choice.”
“It’s a sacrifice we make,” you say, trying to sound reassuring. His gaze refuses to move from the stars above.
However, the buzzing emitting from him finally, fully dissipates.
Despite the serious implications of the topic, you couldn’t help but grow curious. “I wonder who it is that’s making you consider leaving the Order.” You say with a grin. “Whoever it is must be quite special.”
His expression freezes for the slightest moment, then he huffs a soft laugh with a shake of his head. “Let’s just say that they’re very important to me.” He says back with a slightly amused tone.
You decide to push your luck, curiosity getting the better of you like it always did. “Do I know them?”
Anakin shakes his head again, growing more amused. “We aren’t doing this. How’d you like it if I asked you? Clearly you’ve experienced something similar if you agree with me that the rule is unnecessary. Do you wish to tell me who it is you’ve felt more towards?”
You freeze. No, you wouldn’t want to tell him who because it was him after all. “Fine,” you say with a sigh. “But I’ll find out somehow.”
“Do I know them?” He teases, throwing your own words back at you.
You laugh and feel something familiar that reminds you of how you'd bicker and tease him all those years ago. “Didn’t you just say we weren't doing this?” A childlike giddiness was flowing through you, urging you to share more than you probably should. “You do, though. They’re a Jedi, too.” You add, though this fact would be obvious anyway, as you couldn’t go on any missions on your own; you hadn’t much time to socialize with anyone but Jedi.
Anakin chuckles, teeth starkly white from the silver moonlight. He observes you as if trying to read into your answer further. “Jedi, too, huh?” He sits up further and crosses his arms, one hand resting at his chin as if he was seriously contemplating who it could be. “Could I beat them in a match?”
You laugh again, knowing amusement would radiate off of you. He was never one to back out of a chance to tease you, and it hadn’t changed. But unbeknownst to him, he asked if he could beat himself. “I’m not sure, it’d say you’re rather evenly skilled.” He narrows his eyes, barely peering at you through his lashes while considering your answer. Attempting to steer him away from this line of questioning, you shift the conversation elsewhere. “We haven’t dueled in quite some time.”
He loosens his posture, dropping the intensity of his interrogative gaze. “You seem to have been training the more advanced techniques. I had seen you earlier, while you were out here practicing. You were impressive. Though, you always had a way of impressing me, especially with how quickly you could catch up to me.”
The small compliment made your heart warm. That would explain the flickers of light you had noticed, the sense of his attention. “How far behind you do you think I am?” You ask.
“Not much. You never were,” he admits. “Want to test it?” He suggests, and grasps his lightsaber in anticipation.
“Now?” You ask, caught off guard. He jumps to his feet and offers a hand to pull you up. Once on your feet, instead of answering you, he silently takes a few paces backwards and draws his lightsaber. You couldn’t help but grin. He was still that same overly competitive and determined boy you knew him to be, always itching to have a hand at combat. You draw your own lightsaber, powering it on, and hold it in front of you. The duel was on.
Dueling sessions always started the same, allowing for both parties to get appropriately warmed up and move through the basics before the battle really began. You swing first, aiming for his right shoulder, and he ducks away and counters it with a low swing to your opposite leg. You block it with ease and counter with a similar swing to his opposite leg. He blocks it the same way you had.
Your pulse beats fast, building with anticipation as you block another basic attack. It was always a question to see who would break the standard routine first, after all the basics had been practiced.
This time, it was Anakin.
He twists around you, light on his feet, and swings at your shoulder from behind. Lifting your lightsaber over your shoulder, you block it in time, and twist yourself around to face him head on again. You saw that coming, his bluish-white light within the Force, revealing the motion just before he had begun to move.
You dance around each other swinging, ducking, and blocking with practiced ease. You came close a few times in landing a successful hit on him, but he managed a way to avoid it.
You continue to twist and turn, but your feet still feel heavier than normal. Maybe it was your exhaustion creeping up on you. He retreats a few paces away, exhaustion likely catching up to him, too. You share a temporary truce as you both work to catch your breath. Adrenaline courses through your veins with vigor, mixing with the Force as it surges through you.
Anakin appears as both himself, his material form right in front of you, as well as that bright blue-white glow he was as in your mind’s eye. You are sure you look the same, both your physical presence and the golden glow you carry.
Through heaving breaths, Anakin speaks, “you hold your ground well, but I know you. You’re unrelenting, always determined for the final swing.” He smiles wide and excitedly. He has missed dueling with you, too. “Never be too predictable. What’s your move?”’ He challenges you, holding his lightsaber in front of himself again.
You know what he wanted you to do. He wants you to charge him so he can counter and knock you off balance. You weren’t that predictive anymore. You slowly raise your lightsaber with only a single hand in front of him, a stance that would typically prepare you for a quick dash and extended range attack, but you stay still. You close your eyes and quickly scan the ground around you inside your mind, searching for the stones from earlier. The feeling of the smallest pebble suddenly hit your palm. You had found it.
In one quick motion, you summon and flick the pebble right into his chest.
He scoffs, looking down to where the rock had hit him. “What was that?!” He laughs from the ridiculousness of it and how it obviously would do nothing but simply bounce off of his robes. You take this chance, the slim moment of distraction, and dash.
You charge him, aiming a swing for his shoulder, which he predicts all too quickly. You expect this, immediately switching gears, and spin around him to catch his leg from behind. He whips around with you, blocking the swing and countering it with one of his own. You haven’t quite planted your foot down before you block his swing. As your lightsabers collide, the ground moves beneath you. WIth a final push, you lose your balance and fall backwards, landing with a harsh thud. Anakin quickly kneels over you with his lightsaber pointed towards your chest, preventing you from standing back up.
“Damnit!” You yell angrily, having been bested by him. Though, it wasn’t surprising. He did train with the Masters after all. Anakin looks at you with a giddy grin, obviously proud of his win. The Force hums pleasantly between you, likely influenced by the adrenaline that radiates from both of you.
“You’re truly not far behind me.” He removes his lightsaber from over you and swings himself around, coming to a seat beside you. “You did well.”
“Thanks,” you say, a touch of soreness in your words from the loss. Even with the defeat, something in you sings just from having dueled with him again.
If all today had been truly a failed mission, and not actually a concealed test of survival skills, you would still be thankful for this moment.
“Training with the Masters is great and all, but there’s something about dueling with you that’s different.” He says, leaning back against his hands. A thin sheen of sweat coated his forehead, showing he had used more effort than he conveyed. He looks at you for a moment longer, lingering on your frustrated pout, before looking to the sky above yet again.
“I want a round two, with bets this time.” You suggest, nudging his shoulder with your own. Bets were a common practice in your old dueling sessions, adding another layer of competitiveness to the playing field. You used to bet on your number of chores, as there were many chores to go around to keep the Jedi temple clean and orderly. Often, whoever lost would have to perform both their own chores in addition to the chores of the other for the week following.
Sometimes they had been silly pranks or dares, like how one you bet that, if you won, he would need to try and steal Obi-Wan’s lightsaber from him. It was one of the few times you had defeated him, and safe to say, Anakin received quite the mouthful after his attempt to best their own Master.
Anakin pushes himself from the ground, looking down at you with an amused smile glued to his face. “What bets do you suggest?” Anakin asks, offering you a hand up.
There was only one bet you had in mind that would truly up the stakes. You take his hand and quickly join him back to standing. “If I beat you this time, tell me who it is you’d leave the Order for. I’ll tell you mine if I lose again.”
Anakin narrows his eyes towards you, a questioning brow rising as he speaks. “You didn’t say you’d leave the Order for anyone.”
“If it was worth it,” you say, using the same words he had earlier. You twirl your lightsaber around with a flourish, waiting for him to accept to deny the bet.
His eyes remain narrowed at you, trying to read you once again. “You surely don’t mean that, do you? That you’d actually choose to leave the Order for someone?”
“Guess you’ll have to find out.” You say. Really, you weren’t sure if you would. But with how Anakin had been talking about it earlier, he would. So why wouldn’t you?
You take your starting stance and hold your lightsaber in front of yourself. “Deal?”
He hesitates, slowly planting his feet in his own staring stance. He shakes his head with a chuckle, barely audible from a few paces away, and raises up his lightsaber. “Deal.”
He wastes no time in his attack now, ignoring the standard practice of warm up moves since you had already battled once. He starts with a swing low, twisting around as he sweeps underneath you, following it by another rapid swing to your side. You block it, pushing his lightsaber away. The bluish-white glow around him shines brightly, almost blindingly, as he continues to pelt you with various swings. You manage to block them all, but start to falter.
You jump back, removing yourself a small distance before he attempts to charge you again. Your lightsabers collide once more, directly in front of you now, and you each push with all your might. You come to a standstill, straining to keep resisting his sheer strength. You look at him for a brief moment and find his eyes hard with challenge, but a grin that’s wild and happy. He was having fun, as were you.
You allow your lightsaber to falter, escaping the standstill, and immediately block the quick attack he attempts before retreating a few steps. You point your lightsaber towards the ground beside you. Your chest heaves, lungs burning as they try to catch up to your physical exertion and racing pulse.
“I think someones getting tired!” Anakin calls from a few paces in front of you, his lightsaber in a similar position as your own. You scowl, or attempt to, but you couldn't overpower the grin you wear.
You are tired and it was evident in the clumsiness of your stance from earlier and the lazier way you had been wielding your lightsaber, but it doesn’t deter you. It never has. “You know me better than that,” you reply, twirling around your lightsaber once again with another flourish, purely for show, causing Anakin to chuckle. “A little tiredness doesn’t stop me.”
“Indeed it doesn't.” His adrenaline fueled smile grows wider. “Going to throw another pebble at me?” He asks, still amused from your earlier tactic..
No, you weren’t. Instead, unlike last time, you suddenly charge him with a string of offensive swings, similarly to how he had started this round. He dodges them all with ease. Too much ease. He was supposed to be tired, at least a little bit.
You keep swinging, switching from high to low quickly, twisting and turning behind him repeatedly, trying to keep him unbalanced. He is surprisingly sturdy despite the sudden changes in stance and posture. You aim another attack to his shoulder and, instead of dodging, he aims a swing for your leg again. You abruptly switch your swing to try and block the hit, but there isn’t enough time, so you jolt away instead.
You land with your back to the dirt. Before you have a chance to scramble back up to your feet, Anakin towers over you, hovering the tip of his lightsaber in the center of your chest once again. He kept it there as he kneels over you once again.
“I think I won again.” He says, his proud smile far too wide for your liking.
You will not let him win like this, not from slipping again . He starts to sit himself beside you again and, thinking quickly, you follow his motion and hook your legs behind him and grab him by the collar of his robes, and roll him over. This caught him by surprise and yelps from the unexpected motion just as he lands on his back. You lower your lightsaber right beside his head, proudly towering over him now..
“Never be too predictable,” you mock his words from earlier, your now boastful smile taunting him from above. You did it.
“I forgot you played dirty,” he teases and grins at you, somehow not too disappointed from the loss. The light of your lightsaber allows you to see the hue to his features, again. His eyes are bright blue once more. His hair falls haphazardly, sticking wantonly to his face by beads of sweat that had been accumulating over the fight.
What a sight it was to behold.
Suddenly, you realize the rather suggestive position you had landed in. You feel your cheeks heat, praying that the moonlight keeps the redness hidden. You are straddling over him, knees on either side of his hips. You’d move, but you knew him too well. If you did move, he would take you back down and claim it as his victory, so you stayed; ignoring all suggestive thoughts that came your way the best you could.
You remember the bet. You had been so caught up in the fight, you’d forgotten. You grin down at him once more. “I believe you owe me a small piece of information?” His amused smile immediately falters; apparently he had forgotten, too. He searches for anything else to focus on but you, though there wasn’t much else he could look at with the position you held him in.
“I really don’t think it’s a good idea for me to tell you.” He says, growing nervous. He couldn’t look at you anymore. This only fueled your desire to know.
“Who would have thought, Anakin Skywalker, flustered over a little crush?” You tease and he groans frustratedly in return. In a swift movement, he gently grabs you by the hips and pulls you off from straddling him, but doesn't attempt to fight for his own victory again.
“It’s not a crush , you’re making it sound juvenile. Stop it.” He sits with his legs to his chest; a defensive posture.
“You made a deal,” you remind him and move to sit next to him cross legged, keeping an open posture in spite of his closed off one.
“I know I did,” he heaves a heavy sigh. “I didn’t think I’d actually lose. I’m afraid my answer has some pretty significant consequences if not taken well.” His expression twists with concern.
“This person must be really important to you if you’re worried about me reacting poorly. What would I do? Go report you to Obi-Wan? The Council? You’re out of your mind if you think that lowly about me.” You say, frustration growing from how much he was truly concerned. You try to ease his worry. “I’d never do that to you.”
Anakin briefly meets your eyes, taking a moment to notice the softness and warmth in them, and looks away again. “I don’t think that lowly of you. But there is the potential of you reacting much worse.”
How could you possibly react worse? What made him think you’d react badly at all?
You try to tune into him through the Force, but he has closed himself off. This saddens you. You open yourself up further, attempting to project the kindness and compassion you held over anything else.
The buzzing starts again, a delicate vibration emitting from him once more. It beckons you closer, so you rest your head on his shoulder without a second thought. It’s comforting.
“Listen,” Anakin finally breaks the silence between you. His voice is much softer than before and held a weariness that you’d never heard from him before. “Everything I’ve said today is true. It still is.”
You shift yourself away from leaning against his shoulder enough to look at him straight on. He finally meets your gaze, eyes searching yours for something he didn’t seem to find. He relaxes his posture, stretching his legs out in front of him, and reopens up to you. His glow slowly returns to him, but still remains dim. “I trust you, and some part of me wants you to know.” As he’s saying this, more brightness returns to him.
“Anakin, you do not have to tell me if you truly do not wish to. I will not hold it against you,” you say, softly, offering a way out. You place a tender hand on top of his closest to you and his eyes snap back to yours with something unreadable. Your chest aches again, there’s no doubt that he’d sense it.
A wave of relief seems to wash over him, but there is still a source of tension you could feel. “Would you have actually told me if the roles were reversed?” He asks, this time with a voice of curiosity mixed with amusement.
“Probably not.” You answer without hesitation. Admittedly, you wouldn't have been able to follow through on your own bet if you had lost, which you almost had. You had placed your faith in how he’d possibly forget by the time the duel had ended.
How would you have even been able to tell him? Let alone be prepared to face what would happen if he reacted poorly?
“Why not?” He asks, expression growing unreadable again. You hate when he does that.
“I’m afraid of a bad reaction, I suppose.” You say quickly but as the words pass your lips, you freeze, a realization dawning on you. After a grounding breath, you admit a small piece of your truth. “I wouldn’t want to ruin anything.”
“Neither do I,” he whispers, eyes locked to something on the ground. You feel his rapid heart beat radiating off of him, nearly matching the pace of your own.
Maybe you had to go first again.
You grasp his hand more firmly within your own and close your eyes, allowing yourself to open up to him freely. Everything you felt, that you’ve been protecting and storing away for years, flowing through you to him.
You saw him, the blinding light that he was in the Force, jolt to life. It suddenly crowds your vision, but not for long as you are quickly distracted by soft, warm lips meeting your own. Time stops for the briefest of moments before your breath hitches and heart soars. You kiss him back eagerly.
He pulls back for a brief moment, locking his eyes on yours as if to read through your every racing thought, before kissing you again. His lips are soft yet demanding while his calloused hand finds its way to your cheek, tenderly cupping your face to pull you closer. You allow him to draw you in, winding your own hand into his hair, just at the nape of his neck.
When you sigh into the kiss, his own feelings suddenly collide with yours, reflecting the same emotions you had. It overwhelms you with warmth, heart pounding hard and fast in your chest. Your lungs began to burn, needing a moment to catch your breath and to process the surge of feeling he’d shown you.
You pull back this time, breaking the kiss, and he tries to chase your lips. You let him kiss you once more before putting a hand to his chest. “Hold on, I need to breathe,” you say breathlessly, which emphasizes your point. He frowns for only a moment before backing away, needing to catch his own breath, too.
“We have a war to fight,” you say finally, sadness and uncertainty evident in your tone.
“I’ve been fighting for you this whole time. Nothing is going to change,” he admits. He ducks his head down, stealing another kiss. It fills you with warmth. He continues, “I meant it when I said I’d leave the Order, but only once I can ensure your safety, and that we make it out of this war alive."
A moment later he admits, “I also may be part of the reason you’ve been barred from solo missions.” A small, amused grin he’d been trying to hold back breaks through.
“No, you haven’t!” You frown, but your overjoyed smile breaks through anyway. “That’s terribly rude.” You nudge him again, jabbing him with your elbow, before leaning against his shoulder once more.
“I know, I know,” he chuckles and lifts his hands in a surrendering motion. “But I can’t promise you’ll be going solo anytime soon, not now that we’ve established this.” He pulls your face towards him gently by your chin to steal yet another soft kiss, pulling away slowly to savor the touch. “I can’t have you getting into trouble on your own. What if you slip and I’m not there to catch you?” He teases.
You smile at him. “I’ve been falling for a long time.”