Chapter Text
"They took a look into your life. Wouldn't it be fair if you took a look into their lives?"
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Red embers and cherry petals dance along and by the wind.
In New Home, there was a fierce and emotional battle ongoing. On a tall building within New Home, overlooking the city below. There laid the unconscious bodies of the almighty sheriff of the Wild East, North Star, also known as Starlo and the Royal Guard of Snowdin on probation, Martlet. They were currently unaware of the ongoing conflict between Ceroba Ketsukane, the grieving monster mother hailing from the Dunes and Clover, the seventh human child to fall into the Underground.
This conflict began when Ceroba had desired to use Clover's pure human SOUL to continue her husband's work, Chujin Ketsukane and save her daughter, Kanako Ketsukane from the fate her own mother had given to her by her foolish mistakes. When Ceroba had first set eyes on Clover in the Wild East, she saw an opportunity, a chance she had to fix the mistakes she has done to her daughter and continue Chujin's work. She worked on to gain Clover's trust and friendship in order to fulfill her goal. Despite the genuine friendship, the respect she had for Clover, the time they both had spent together, she was still going to go through with her mission to collect Clover's SOUL. Starlo and Martlet disagreed with her objective as they would not let a friend of theirs become a sacrifice, a victim, of something they were never supposed to be a part of.
Ceroba was painfully aware of how far gone she was now and that she had done too much and came too far to stop now. She is so close to righting her wrongs, to finish her husband's work, to be with her daughter again, all she needed was the human whom she had called her friend's SOUL to get there. There was no convincing or stopping her at that point. She was resolute. To her, this mission was justice for her daughter.
The sheriff, Starlo realized that there was no talking out of his own childhood friend from this. So, he instructed Martlet to take Clover and escape New Home for their safety while he would try to keep Ceroba at bay. Unfortunately, Ceroba was not going to allow that. Just before Martlet could take away Clover to safety, Ceroba intercepted and knocked Martlet out unconscious, dropping Clover back on the ground with a magic attack that originated from her staff. Starlo became enraged by this action his own childhood friend had done, he attempted to stop her by charging at her, but Ceroba had already seen it coming and used the staff to knock him out unconscious along with Martlet.
With their two friends now lay unconscious, Clover knew this battle was unavoidable and inevitable. With no conscious friends at their side to protect them, it was now up to them to fight this fight. Clover got up from the ground and into a kneeling position with visible struggle and pain. They saw Ceroba staring at them with regret in her eyes. They began to listen to her as she had begun to speak to them.
"Clover... I... I'm sorry for what I've done. I almost wish you never showed up in the Wild East. Maybe then I would have continued to bury my sorrows in the Saloon. But now... I must follow through with my mission."
"I've somehow grown to respect the hell out of you but... At the end of the day, you are naive. There is so much you do not understand about us monsters."
"What? Did you expect to find them down here after your jump into this mountain? Five humans, living our their lives, safe. That is now how it works."
Clover then rose from their kneeling position, almost struggling to stand up after the interception she just did earlier. Clover then looked on at her with a look of acknowledgement. A look that showed and meant that Clover already knew they were all dead. Seeing this look from the human child, Ceroba spoke once more.
"I guess you have discovered that truth, right?" Ceroba said as she then gave Clover a stern look.
"Then what? Was your and Martlet's plan to storm Asgore's Castle for revenge? Or was it simply to plead for a free ticket back to the Surface? He only needs two more SOULs to break the barrier. He will not hesitate to make that two to one." Ceroba then closes her eyes in acknowledgement of her hypocrisy.
"But... who am I to criticize how he carries out his business? Here I am about to do the very same thing..." Ceroba clenched on her staff.
"I am a hypocrite. A liar. Sure. But, at least I..." She paused.
"...with Chujin's guidance, can save countless monster lives." Ceroba then looked at the unconscious bodies of Martlet and Starlo.
"These two could not understand that. And Asgore?" She gains an angry expression as she clenches on her staff.
"Asgore is a coward. He didn't believe in my husband at all. He thinks problems will just disappear if he just closes the curtains. I long for freedom as much as any monster in the Underground. But he? He doesn't consider what will happen once he gets his SOULs. Everyone else too. They all believe victory will come easy, but the humans I've heard of? They are ruthless, powerful." Ceroba looks up.
"As soon as we try to leave, humanity will just stuff us back into this hellhole. They want our misery to fester until we give up and die out." Ceroba lowers her head and closes her eyes in acknowledgement once again.
"I am no better than the King on the scale of morality, I'm sure of it. But, what I am is proactive. Monsterkind is worth protecting, so I will see that it is done." Ceroba opens her eyes and looks at Clover once more.
"Truthfully, I have nothing left in life, so I have made peace with throwing it away." She paused.
"You will fight back, but won't be able to fight forever." She closed her eyes for the last time as she utters these words with regret.
"Goodbye."
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They battled and battled. To them, only one person is coming out of this alive.
Their fight had dragged on long enough that Ceroba was forced to use the mask Kanako gave her and unleash her full strength on the stubborn and persistent human child she had once called friend, who is now nothing more than just an objective to them.
They continued to fight until there was a point they reached where Clover had managed to damage the mask Ceroba was wearing and that had led to them taking a look within Ceroba's memories of the past. Learning of Chujin and Ceroba's final conversation, Kanako's eavesdropping, Kanako's discovery of the truth, and Ceroba's worst mistake of endangering the life of her daughter by going against Chujin's last wish.
Ceroba became enraged by Clover's invasion of her memories. They had no right. They had no obligation to look at her past, her mistakes, and her struggles. How can they understand? They have never went through the pain she had gone through.
Ceroba let out a roar as summoned her staff and shield once more with her attacks now more furious and faster. Ceroba felt it, she was winning. She felt Clover's will to fight begin to dwindle and their lifeforce nearing the edge of death. This was it. One more hit and she can complete her mission. One more hit and she can finally see her daughter again. One more hit and she will no longer have to suffer the pain anymore. One more hit and it will all be over. Just one more hit...
...
...yet why can't she go through with it?
Why was she hesitating? Was something stopping her in her tracks? Why is she stopping now? She is so close...
Then she realized,
She realized she was looking at Clover as they were looking back at her.
With that anguished face that spoke of raw emotions of pain, confusion, betrayal, and...
...grief?
She noticed Clover was sobbing, with tears running down their cheeks to dropping off from their chin.
Ceroba took a look at the condition of the human before her. They were not even wearing their signature hat anymore, their hat laid on the ground behind them, all singed and a small red flame burning on the top. Their body was burnt, beaten, and bleeding. Their clothes were all burnt and tattered. Their revolver is on the ground in front of them, not even within their holster anymore, with the chamber open, revealing only one bullet left within the chamber. They had one hand holding onto their shoulder in pain and they were on their knees, no longer standing. Their entire body was shaking and trembling. Was it from fear? Was it from pain?
Why was she doing this? To someone she had considered friend. To someone who trusted her. To someone who had done nothing more than just help. To someone who has been nothing but kind to monsters even when monsters have tried to kill them. To someone...
...who was only just a child.
Clover had helped her, even when they had no obligation to do so. Clover has been nothing but kind and helpful to her, why was she repaying their kindness with this?
As Ceroba went to look at the human's face again, she noticed something glowing within their eyes. A faint white spark, and seconds later. A brilliant white flash overtook her vision.
It was so bright. Ceroba could not help but close her eyes.
It lasted for a few seconds before Ceroba regained her vision and found herself to be no longer in New Home. Not just that, she also found herself back to how she was before the fight between her and Clover began. She looked around and found herself in a what seems to be a forest. She looked up and saw something she swore would never see. She saw the brilliant blue sky, accompanied with clouds and a great sphere of light that surpassed the great swelterstone of the Dunes by a thousand times. Ceroba begun to ask herself.
"Am I at the surface? How? This shouldn't be possible. Where am I?"
After she had asked herself that question, she began to hear a familiar voice somewhere else.
"Now, now, settle down, cowboy!"
"No, Ma! I wanna be the hero that saves the day!"
Ceroba turned to look to where those voices came from. She spotted a human woman who seems to be in her late 20s, she looks awfully a lot like Clover, except she was female and had some minor differences. Ceroba then took a look at where the second voice came from. She spotted a much smaller human wearing a familiar hat and was holding a wooden revolver whom she had immediately recognized.
"Clover?" Ceroba said.
"Alright, Clover. You are the hero, haha. Come here, my little cowboy."
"Haha, I know I am!"
Ceroba began to comprehend what she was seeing right now until she figured it out.
"Am I in Clover's memories?" She asked herself.
Ceroba watched what she assumed to be Clover's mother and Clover at a far younger age. The Clover she knew currently looked around 10-12 years old. This Clover was like 6 or 7 years old.
Watching them both play and have fun made Ceroba be painfully reminded of how she used to have fun and play with her own daughter, Kanako. She then began to hear them say:
"Hey, Ma?"
"Yes, Clover?"
"Will I ever be a real hero someday?"
"Clover, out of everyone I have met, no one out there has a strong sense of justice, has the will to do what's right, and who are as kind-hearted and selfless as you are. To me, you ARE a real hero."
"Thank you, Ma."
"You're welcome, my little cowboy. I love you."
"I love you too!"
Ceroba watched the show of love between the younger Clover and their mother on display. It made her heart ache and it made her feel horribly guilty. She felt horrible and disgusted with herself. Clover was a good kid and here she was, about to kill them for her selfish mission. Here she was, about to rob a mother of her own child. It made her sick to her stomach. She lost her child because of her own mistake and now a mother is about to lose her child for her selfishness.
How would Kanako see her as she is now? She'd probably- no, most definitely be horrified to have such a person as her mother.
Before she would continue to wallow in her self-disgust. The entire place flashed into a whole new place.
"Where am I now?" Ceroba asked herself as she looked around.
Ceroba seemed to acknowledge that she was now in a house. A house in poor condition. It reminded her of the house where the Feisty Five slept in. Ceroba then heard a door opening.
Ceroba looked at the direction where the noise came from and she spotted Clover, now looking slightly older than they were before from the previous memory. They looked to be around 8. They were not wearing their signature hat and were wearing an unkempt long-sleeved polo, black pants, and brown shoes. Ceroba guessed that some time must have passed since the last memory and now she was looking at another memory.
Ceroba watched Clover enter another room and she followed to see where they were going. It eventually led her to a bedroom with their mother on the bed, who looks to be very ill. Clover went sat on a chair right next to her bed before speaking to their mother.
"Hey, Ma... How-how are you feeling?"
"I'm doing just fine,... my little cowboy."
Ceroba watched Clover with their now ill mother, it painfully reminded her of the pain she had felt when Chujin was bedridden and was at death's door. She continued to watch.
"Will-will you get better soon?"
Clover's mother had begun to cough before answering her child's question.
"Mommy is just doing fine, why don't go play with the other kids?"
"But... I don't want to leave your side. Not until you're okay, Ma."
A clanging noise outside the room got the attention of Clover, their mother, and Ceroba.
"Oh, stupid me... I forgot to do the dishes..."
"I'll do it, Ma. Just please stay here and rest. I can do it."
"But, you never liked doing the dishes..."
"...Somebody has to."
Clover's mother placed her hand on her little cowboy's head.
"You are so kind, Clover... I love you so much..."
Clover only began to tear up as a response as Ceroba watched on this emotional moment. It hurt her. She just only begun to understand Clover, such a kind and young person, living a hard life at such a young age, being forced to take care of their now ill mother who had loved them very much. She had never known Clover had such a life. Then again, Clover never disclosed about anything about their life on the surface or maybe it's because she had never asked. Then once again, she did tell Clover about her daughter, Kanako, even when they had never asked.
The entire place flashed white again and she was back where she was before inside the house. The door opened yet again and Clover came inside the house, holding a paper bag. Heading to the room where their mother was, Ceroba followed the younger Clover.
"Ma, I got the medicine-"
Ceroba heard something fall on the ground. It was the paper bag Clover was holding, did they drop it?
"NO NO NO NO NO-"
Ceroba then began to hear Clover speak in desperation and disbelief. Ceroba watched Clover speedily enter the room. That tone was all too familiar with her. Hauntingly familiar. Ceroba peeked inside the room to find something heartbreaking.
Ceroba saw Clover at her mother's side who seemed to be unmoving with Clover grasping on to her hand, who is now sobbing, calling for their mother.
"MA! MA! PLEASE WAKE UP! MA!"
"PLEASE NO! THIS CAN'T BE REAL! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!"
"MA! PLEASE WAKE UP! PLEASE!"
"MA, PLEASE..."
"...I NEVER GOT TO SAY GOODBYE..."
"...PLEASE..."
"...DON'T LEAVE ME..."
"...NOT LIKE THIS..."
Clover had eventually stopped talking and started sobbing their hardest, burying their face on the blanket of the bed while still grasping onto their mother's hand. Ceroba could not hold it together, especially when seeing someone so young mourn for their dead parent. With the death of Clover's mother, Clover was all alone. No friends, no family. They were all alone.
Ceroba started to see that she and Clover were very much alike. Both of them had lost people who were family to them. Ceroba lost her husband and daughter and Clover lost their mother. While, Ceroba still had people in her life, like her childhood friend, Starlo, the bartender, Dina, and the Feisty Five. Clover, they had no one else, they were all alone.
Compared to the two of them, Ceroba is the lucky one.
Ceroba should have realized this much sooner. Clover was just a child.
They weren't supposed to suffer pain like this, they weren't supposed to be all alone, they weren't supposed to have a life like this.
They weren't supposed to be sacrificed for her selfishness.
How could she be so cruel? To try and kill Clover just to fulfill her selfish goals. To lie and deceive a child who still kind and helpful despite everything that has happened in their life. Clover had suffered too much and she was continuing to make them suffer with her betrayals and attempts of murder. Ceroba had begun to completely regret going through with her mission.
The entire place soon flashed white once more and now she was in a forest, where it is raining and at night time. She looked around her surroundings and heard sounds of sobbing. Clover's sobbing. She turned to the direction where she heard them and found Clover, on their knees, their entire being all wet from the rain, in front of a makeshift grave, holding a shovel, sobbing as hard as they could.
Looking at the grave, Ceroba then figured out that Clover had buried their own mother.
This wasn't right. No child should ever bury their own parent.
Just watching Clover sob their hearts out for their deceased mother whom they have buried made Ceroba so absolutely miserable. No child should ever suffer this. It was too much. Ceroba wanted nothing more than to so badly hug and comfort the grieving Clover right there right now, but she could not. She is just a ghost within Clover's memories and she wished she wasn't.
And then, another flash.
Ceroba found herself again in the house, but now it is in a far worse shape and condition. The house was mostly dark. Save for the illumination coming from the living room. Ceroba went over to the living room to find Clover, just sitting on the couch with the TV turned on, only displaying static. The couch was pretty worn and in bad shape, similar to the couch in the Feisty Five's house.
They took a look at Clover and her heart ached at the sight of them.
Clover looked very tired, not as in tired as they wanted to sleep or are exhausted. They just looked so done with everything. Their eyes had tear marks as if they have been crying for hours or days. Ceroba was familiar with this suffering and grief, she could relate, but she could not. Because to her, this was far worse.
Ceroba still could not believe that such a kind, heroic, and selfless soul came from a life so unbearable. And they were alone, with no one to comfort them or for them to vent their sorrows to. They deserved better.
Once more, a flash envelops the entire place as Ceroba is then taken to another memory.
Ceroba is now taken to a much more familiar place. The Wild East, outside the Saloon.
Ceroba saw a past version of herself when they first met Clover. Her heart aches at acknowledgement that their first meeting was just for her to gain Clover's trust and friendship just to fulfill her selfish goal. She took a look at her past self and wished that she could just slap her past self.
Ceroba watched as Clover had met her in the past, their first meeting.
Nearing the end of their first meeting, for a moment, she swore she saw something had changed.
For a moment, she thought she saw Clover's own mom briefly take her place in their first meeting.
It seemed Clover had seemed to notice this as well and shook their head to make sure what they saw wasn't real.
Ceroba watched as her and Clover's first meeting had ended. Although, at the time, she paid no attention to Clover once they left her presence. But here? She noticed Clover gain a hurt expression on their face as they walked away.
Ceroba thought about Clover's mom's brief appearance and why she took her place in their first meeting.
...
Could it be that Clover saw Ceroba as some sort of mother figure? That Clover saw their own mother as her? That she painfully reminded the poor child of their own mother?
It can't be. She doesn't deserve to be seen as a mother figure by the human child whom she just used for her selfish goals. Yet, Clover sees it that way and it hurts her so much.
It hurt her so much that Clover saw her as a mother figure despite what she had done to the human child who just wanted to do nothing but good, no matter how much they suffered. To her, she didn't deserve to be seen as a mother figure to Clover.
She had lost her right to be called a mother long ago.
For the last time, the entire place flashed. Ceroba is brought back to New Home where she was in the same position she was before. A mere hit away from killing Clover. Clover began to speak. Their voice accompanied by a heavy amount of sniffling and stuttering. This was the voice of a broken child.
"D-Do you really hate me that much???"
Hearing those words sting for Ceroba. Scratch that, it is as if a spear had penetrated her heart. She began to listen to them speak once more, her heart already not being able to take any more of Clover's pain.
"W-Why is it you made me feel like I mattered in a place where everyone only deems me worth it only when I'm dead and my SOUL in jar? W-Why did you have to be so kind to me, only for you to do this to me in the end? W-Why did you have to make me feel so much pain with your deceit and lies? W-Why have you given me hope only for you to shatter it? W-Why did you have to make it feel like everything I've done to help, to appease, to do what's right has been nothing but meaningless? W-What have I done wrong to deserve this?"
"It... hurts... so much..."
Ceroba can feel her heart shatter over a hundred times, listening to the fallen child's lament. She watched as Clover with that expression and look of pain they had towards her. That expression and look turned into one of even more intensified anguish and accepted resignation. With their eyes closed, signifying that they accepted their fate and was prepared and obviously afraid of the worst. They spoke.
"Just... get it over with already..."
"You've won..."
Was Clover giving up? That's not like him, and it wasn't really like him. Did she hurt him so much that he just completely broke? Did she go too far with Clover? She made them feel so hated, so worthless. She made them feel like their life never really mattered.
After seeing Clover's memories, their suffering, their grief, their torment. Ceroba cannot bring herself to finish the job. This human child, is an angel who fell from the heavens. They have been nothing but kind and selfless to all the monsters down here and here they were, accepting death because the one they saw as a mother figure betrayed them and gave them pain no child should ever feel. No, she can't do this. She can't!
Ceroba then saw a flash, a sudden vision. She was again back to the scene where she was about to inject that poison into Kanako in the same position before it disappeared and returned to the scene with her and Clover, mirroring the positions of that incident. She was about to cause a death to a child who only wanted to do good again. The same mistake. And one is even worse circumstances. And that was her breaking point.
She trembled as she dropped her staff and fell to her knees on the floor, facing down, the mask falling off, her transformation disappearing. She stayed like that for a while before she heard Clover speak to her with confusion in their voice.
"What are you doing???"
"...Why'd you stop?"
This got Ceroba to look at Clover who now donned a surprised and confused expression. The fact that they were confused on why she stopped and the fact that they were ready to embrace death only hurt her more. Her unstable emotions took control of her body and desperately reached out to Clover to hug the human child, who was like a gift from the heavens she tried to forsake, who was like a second chance she had to care for a child, a second chance she had to be a mother.
She knows she does not deserve such a chance after the things she has done. But her remorse, regret, and guilt did not care. She wanted to make things right, to take back what she has done, to be there for this child who has suffered for long enough.
With a voice of uncontrolled sobbing and unfiltered sorrow, Ceroba spoke to Clover.
"Clover, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry... By the Angel, what have I done???"
Ceroba kept on apologizing to Clover for what she has tried to do on them. The apologies only seem to confuse the human child more. She was so close to completing the mission she had for herself. Why are they stopping now? Why are they apologizing for it? They asked Ceroba.
"What are you apologizing for? You were so close..."
"CLOVER, DON'T SAY THAT!"
Ceroba's answer startled Clover, her answer was so raw and filled with emotion.
"Clover, please... don't say that..."
"What I've done today was something I never should have done, I should never have done this to you. I should never have dragged you into this mess. You are only a child, Clover and I was so blind to see that. I'm so sorry for hurting you... I am so sorry for betraying you... I am so sorry for making you feel so hated, so worthless... I'm so sorry, Clover..."
Clover felt Ceroba hug them tighter as she apologized for what she has done to the poor child with deep regret and remorse. Hearing her regrets and apologies, Clover can't help but sob, the Ceroba they knew who cared for them, who was kind to them, who they saw as a mother is back. Knowing this, Clover reciprocated the hug, hugging as tightly as they could in return.
"It's okay... I forgive you..."
"Clover, no... please... don't... I don't deserve your forgiveness... What I've done is unforgivable... I don't deserve it-"
"I do not care... Regardless of everything, I still forgive you nonetheless..."
In response, Ceroba sobbed even harder as she began hugging the child tighter in her arms. She didn't want Clover's forgiveness because she knows what she has done is unforgivable. Yet, Clover still forgave her despite everything.
She truly didn't deserve this child. She was being given one more chance, not by life, not by fate, but by them. Her own judgement is outweighed by her trust towards Clover. She will take this second chance and vow to never lose it.
"Clover... I... Thank you..."
"I promise you... Nothing like this will ever happen ever again..."
"I promise you..."
...
...
...
"You will never be hurt ever again."