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1
The first time Clorinde said it, her cheeks were dusted with a red hue and her voice trembled. She stood as stiff as her small wooden sword and her eyes darted anywhere but those crystal blue eyes.
She was expecting something to be thrown at her, the small and battered figurine they had found in Sir Callas’ study to be chucked at her forehead, but instead Clorinde heard that tiny, teasing giggle. It mixed with the whistle of the wind, creating an innocent melody that rang in Clorinde’s ears.
“Clorinde,” She doesn’t look when her name is called, afraid that she would be made fun of. A giggle leaves her friend’s lips and two soft hands cradle Clorinde’s cheeks, slowly turning her towards the source of that voice, “Can you say it again?”
Clorinde blinks and looks up, hesitatingly so. Her lilac irises meet intense light blue – they resembled that of the clean fountains of Fontaine, they shimmer and glisten under the sunlight, and in them is filled with dreams and joy.
She shone so bright. Navia always did. Her smile, her hair, her everything was so blinding. If Clorinde were to choose between the sun or Navia, she would choose Navia for the sun could never rival her radiance.
“A-Again?” Young Clorinde stuttered, her eyes owlish and lost. Out of all the responses she had imagined in her head, it wasn’t this. Navia nodded, excited it seemed. “I—I…”
Navia’s smile widens, her eyes sparkling expectantly and there the glimmer of mirth makes itself known. Clorinde quickly closed her lips and her cheeks blushed into a deeper shade of her red, her ears warming and her neck heating, “You’re teasing me!” She wasn’t angry (she could never be with Navia) but she was certainly embarrassed.
Navia snickered, her fist covering her trembling lips, but it only takes a second before she’s bursting into laughter. Her giggles are graceful but melodic and Clorinde’s initial embarrassment melts away into fondness, watching Navia and wanting to soak in every detail of her smile.
“You’re so cute, that’s why!” Navia laughs into her fist, failing to hide the ever growing smile on her face.
Clorinde huffs out a puff of breath and crosses her arms, dipping her head down to hide the deep shade of red that continues to plague her cheeks. Her lips curl into a faint pout that Navia notices after her fit of laughter.
With a sigh, Navia giggles softly before grabbing both sides of Clorinde’s face, holding it still to prevent the young duelist from escaping her grasp. Clorinde’s cheeks are squished and her usually stone face crumbles into Navia’s palms – her cold facade that her family had instilled in her waning by Navia’s mere touch.
“Are you mad at me?” Never . Clorinde wanted to say. Clorinde is no robot, she can get angry and she can certainly feel anger, but she definitely knows that she does not have it in her to get angry at Navia, ever . The mere thought seems impossible. “Clorinde?” Navia tilts her head, her eyes worried and suddenly growing with guilt.
Clorinde softly hovers her palms over Navia’s and gently shakes her head, “I’m not, Navia,” She sighs but in it was a sense of playfulness, a tinge of feather-like fondness, “I could never.”
Navia smiles at that, the concern in her eyes melting away, “Good!” She giggles when Clorinde lets out a defeated huff. Then suddenly, she pulls Clorinde closer, excitement now written all over her face, “Say it again for me? Please, Clorinde!”
Clorinde’s eyes widened, “But-”
“Please!” Navia pleads, “I’m not teasing you this time, I promise!”
Clorinde pulls away from Navia, the latter looking at her expectantly. Clorinde scratches at the back of her nape, her eyes averted away from Navia’s curious ones, and her mouth opens and closes. A deep red finds itself back to Clorinde’s cheeks and she suddenly ducks her head.
A quiet mumble leaves her lips. Navia’s smile grows bigger but Clorinde is far too embarrassed to see it, “Again? But louder?”
Clorinde huffs before looking up at Navia through her lashes, her lips pursed into a thin line, “I…” She sighs at the soft smile that Navia shows her, “I love you...”
Navia giggles, her smile adorned by the faint red across her cheeks.
2
The next time Clorinde says it, it was a surprise to Navia and to her.
Navia had pinned Clorinde to the ground, thighs on either side of Clorinde’s waist and hands on her white collar, a victorious smirk adorning her face. She was leaning close enough that the sun had been blocked from Clorinde’s view, her eyes filled only with the sight of Navia.
She didn’t mind. Navia shone brighter than the sun afterall.
“Ha!” Navia huffed, the smile ever so present on her face, “Who would’ve thought that I could knock down the great future duelist?” There was no malice in Navia’s tone, no mockery, it was all just playful and teasing banter she liked to initiate with Clorinde.
“That…” Clorinde panted, her chest heaving heavy breaths, “I missed my footing, is all–”
“ Excuses ! Excuses is all I hear,” Navia hummed, closing her eyes to avoid the playful glare Clorinde shoots her. “I don’t know, Clorinde, but I simply think you underes–!”
Before Navia could finish her sentence, Clorinde uses the last of her energy to spring forward, her hands pushing against Navia’s shoulders and pinning her to the floor. Clorinde makes sure to quickly cradle the back of Navia’s head before she hits the grass lest she hurts her.
Because Clorinde could never hurt Navia – and the day she does, the Hydro Archon is free to rid her of the water that keeps her alive.
When Clorinde opens her eyes from the quick movement, she’s met with a sight she wants to keep, a sight she wants to engrave into her very mind – into her very soul.
There, before her, Navia lays with her hair sprawled around her head – her curls creating this beautiful thick halo around her. Her crystal blue eyes are staring up at Clorinde with a brief sense of surprise but they soon squint into laughter, her melodic giggles filling the air between them. Her skin shines brightly under the sun that grazes it even with Clorinde towering over her and her smile is a beautiful painting that Clorinde wants to keep.
For a moment, Clorinde wants to keep Navia’s smile, the shallow dimples that dent her cheeks – she wants nothing more than to fall deeper into the never ending void that is Navia. She almost wants to kneel before Navia, stretch out her hand and say–
I love you.
Giggles screech to a halt and a deafening silence soon follows. Navia blinks and she’s no longer laughing, lips trembling, her eyes are wide – her ocean-like irises stare at Clorinde with shock. Clorinde couldn’t help but silently admire the deep shade of red that colors Navia’s cheeks, the pretty rose hue adorning her features and granting the usually confident woman this vulnerable yet adorable expression.
For a moment, Clorinde wants to ask what had caused Navia to react in such a way – was she so surprised by Clorinde? She’s sure by now that Navia is fully aware of her strength so that can’t be it. Is she hurt? No, if Navia was hurt she would have already reacted and possibly kneed Clorinde in the thigh like last time so that can’t be it either.
Why was she so surprised? Why was Navia staring at her like Clorinde had suddenly confessed something–
Clorinde goes stiff as a board. “I…” Her arms are painfully rigid and her thighs flex when she subconsciously realizes the position they were in. “I deeply apologize for… for pushing you so suddenly,” her voice is rather husky and low, afraid that if she were to be any louder she would reveal the anxiety coursing through her.
With a cough into her fist, Clorinde – somehow – smoothly removes herself from Navia and stands up. She does so in slow movements, too slow for the future duelist. Clorinde does not look at Navia when she’s standing – she couldn’t . Her fists are clenched so tight that she could feel her nails digging crescents into her palm but she could care less.
You fool , she chants to herself.
Clorinde, the usually so composed and level-headed woman, had just confessed – after a duel no less.
How fitting of her, Clorinde curses to herself for her own stupidity, wanting nothing more than for the enchanted sea surrounding Fontaine to swallow her whole and drown her into the very depths of the ocean.
Her eye twitches when she hears Navia move, probably standing up, and she wants to run – truly . But then that would emphasize her blunder further and the last thing she wanted was to further destroy her dignity by running away with her tail between her legs. If she’s a fool then so be it, but she did not want to show her own cowardice.
Clorinde turns, her back turned to Navia, “I forgot that I have some assignments I must tend to,” she sounds disgustingly robotic and she hates herself for it because she knows that Navia knows she is actively avoiding what had just transpired that past minute. “See yo–”
“Look at me.”
Clorinde blinks but she doesn’t turn around despite wanting to. The embarrassment was slowly fading but her anxiety remained – she cannot even will herself to look at Navia even though she yearned to watch what those crystal blues are trying to say.
The last thing Clorinde wanted was to lose Navia.
Clorinde swallowed a knot in her throat, a deep exhale leaving her lips. “Navia,” she says, her voice gentle and devoid of that forced professionalism, “You are free to ignore what I said and preten–”
“Clorinde,” Navia’s voice was… Clorinde didn’t know what to make of it. Navia was usually easy for her to read but at the moment it was difficult and Clorinde didn’t know if she appreciated that or if she was utterly terrified of what may come out of her voice, “Look at me, please .”
Navia’s voice was pleading and something about that tone sent a shiver of guilt through Clorinde’s spine.
With a deep breath, her fists clenched tightly by her sides, Clorinde turned to face Navia; however, her eyes did not meet crystal blue. Instead they were casted down, hoping to delay what she might see on Navia’s face.
If Navia were to reject her then Clorinde is more than willing to accept the ache in her heart so long as she does not lose her.
But Clorinde would be lying if she said she didn’t want to embrace Navia and kiss her.
“ Please .” Navia says again, this time a bit louder. Less pleading but still meek — not befitting of a noble such as herself.
Clorinde silently hissed to herself before slowly dragging her eyes up. Her striking violet eyes meet crystal blue, a startling pool of bright blue that never failed to enchant Clorinde. She, unfortunately, sees guilt swimming in that vast pool.
Ah.
Navia seems to instantly take note of the sudden shift in Clorinde’s face — the very subtle downturn of her lips, the twitch in her eyes, the slightly slumped shoulders. “Wait! I—…” Navia lets out a breath, “Don’t misunderstand me.”
Clorinde nods.
“Let me… Let me finish,” Navia mutters softly. Clorinde blinks at her and nods so stiffly Navia would have laughed if not for the situation. Clearing her throat silently, “I’m going to be honest with you Clorinde, is that alright?”
“Always.”
Navia smiles softly at that before her glossy lips slip into a frown. “There’s a lot of things I want to do,” she rubs her arm, “I have dreams. Dreams that I want to focus on and… and I want to help Father, as much as possible. I don’t want to cause him more worry...”
Clorinde, despite Navia’s response, couldn’t help but smile. Navia had always thought of others, the act of being selfless somehow engraved into her very soul and being. That’s something Clorinde had always admired — Navia’s innate desire to help others before she helps herself.
Navia has so much love to give, so much joy she wants to share that Clorinde can’t help but worry that she may not have enough for herself.
“Then I understand,” Clorinde says, “I—“
“No!” Navia quickly says.
Clorinde winces at the sudden volume, her eyes widening slightly in surprise. Navia seems to have noticed and a gasp escaped her lips, quickly shrinking back.
“…No?” Clorinde asked, raising an eyebrow, now confused.
Navia’s cheeks tint an adorable red and she tumbles over her words. Her palms are nervously fidgeting and for a moment Clorinde considers stepping in but the blonde woman grunts to herself and slaps both her cheeks.
Clorinde is now very confused.
Navia huffs out a puff before she fixes Clorinde with a weak glare, “ Listen to me,” she coughs into her fist before straightening her back, “I—… I can’t.”
If anyone were to see them right now, anyone could tell that the gears were slowly creaking and turning in Clorinde’s head. It resembles that of a mechanical dog trying to make sense of its master’s commands.
I can’t . Clorinde blinks. She takes a breath. Oh.
Clorinde looks down, her chest suddenly stinging. She misses the blush that colors Navia’s face and she misses the shy look on Navia’s face.
“I see…” Clorinde mutters. She wants to slap herself for ever doing this.
Navia eyes widen slightly, “Wait! That’s not… I…” She bites the inside of her cheek, eyes averted off to the side rather than looking into Clorinde’s.
A brief silence fills the space between them — both women standing before each other for what seemed like an eternity that would put even the Electro Archon to shame. Birds chirp from the distance, the silent whistling of the wind echoing in the field they stood on, and the distant chatter of passersby fill the deafening silence between them.
Then, to Clorinde’s surprise, Navia suddenly lets out a snort. It’s quiet at first, so quiet that Clorinde thought she had imagined it, but then the blonde woman doubles over and soon enough, loud and boisterous laughter leaves her lips.
Clorinde is star struck for a brief moment before she blinks out of her stupor and looks around them, almost as if she’s looking for what might have caused this sudden reaction. When the space around them is decidedly empty, Clorinde looks back at Navia, silently asking for an explanation.
Navia’s cheeks are still colored with a pretty red hue; however, a carefree smile is stretched across her face and she’s wiping away the tears that prick the corner of her eyes.
She lets out a fond sigh before puffing out an exhale, “We are such fools , wouldn’t you agree, Clorinde?” She looks at Clorinde, her gaze soft and comforting. She lets out a confident exhale and straightens her back, “I’m not rejecting you, Clorinde. I never… I’m not rejecting you, okay?”
Clorinde has never been so lost in her life. “I… Alright?”
Navia giggles and she puts her hands behind her back. She tilts her head slightly, “What I mean is,” she takes a step forward and Clorinde almost steps back out of instinct but she catches herself before she could. Navia, with their visible height difference, reaches up and tucks the stray strand of violet hair away from Clorinde’s face, and cups her cheek, “I’m just not ready, yet , but I will be one day.”
Clorinde’s breath hitches and her cheeks color a deep shade of red that makes Navia smile, “Oh. Oh ,” she swallows a knot in her throat, “So… You’re really not rejecting me?”
Navia chuckles softly, “No, silly,” she stands on her tiptoes and there she places a soft kiss on the corner of Clorinde’s lips – who is very close to collapsing and falling to her knees. Navia then pulls away, her hand still on Clorinde’s cheeks. She lets out a breath, a nervous one, “I’m… I’m asking if you could wait a bit longer for me. I know that sounds selfish and you’re free to deny but–”
Clorinde grabs Navia’s wrist, her fingers wrapping gently around her, “Yes,” she exhales, as if she had just let out a relieved sigh, “I can wait for you for as long as you’d like, I promise .”
Navia laughs before nodding, “Then I promise I won’t let you wait too long.”
Clorinde shakes her head, chuckling to herself, “If you asked me to wait an eternity then I will gladly do so.”
3
It’s raining when she said it the third time. It’s hard and heavy – just like their hearts standing in the midst of the brewing storm.
No one sees the Champion Duelist at first, too busy weeping among themselves to pay attention to their surroundings. Clorinde chose to stand off to the side, not wanting to draw attention to herself.
Navia was on her knees at the polished tombstone, her shoulders stiff with restraint that Clorinde is tempted to soothe them down. To tell Navia that it is alright to cry, that showing her grief is more than alright.
But she does not come close. She can’t. She is not worthy.
However, Clorinde was stubborn and hard-headed. Against her better judgment, she stood still in her spot even as the others began to walk home. They glanced at her, some wearing deep frowns, others wearing a scowl intentionally directed towards her. Clorinde simply hung her head low, her hands stiff by her sides.
She could not blame them for their hatred.
When Clorinde straightens her back, she’s met with a violent pair of crystal blues and for a moment it’s as if Clorinde was struck with a bolt of lightning. Clorinde was so used to staring into soft light blue eyes, ones that resembled Fontaine’s bright sky, that the look in Navia’s eyes had felt so unfamiliar .
Navia looked at her with shock at first but within a split second, her expression morphed into hard and barely restrained anger. Her jaw was clenched, her eyes flashing with hot rage ready to be let go but among the intense emotion, Clorinde spots the fatigue and sorrow threatening to spill.
The intensity of it all was so strong that Clorinde almost wanted to throw up.
Clorinde’s lips are numb on her own face but she pushes herself to speak, to say something , “Navi—“
“ What are you doing here,” Navia practically snarls at her. Her eye twitches with restrained anger and her fingers tremble against her fist. She’s breathing hot fire through her nose at this point and her eyes are glaring at Clorinde — sharp and pointed.
If looks could kill, Clorinde may as well be dead.
Clorinde winces, her eyes jumping elsewhere, but she steels herself. She wants to, no, she needs to face this head on — If not for her own selfishness then for Callas’ last plea to protect his daughter.
“I…” Clorinde clears her throat, “Wanted to offer my condolences.”
Navia’s crystal irises flash with rage, “ Offer your condolences?” She lets out a harsh scoff and the corner of her eyes prick with hot, angry tears. “Have you forgotten who put him in the grave in the first place?!”
Clorinde’s eyebrows furrow, her lips twitching into a tiny frown. She didn’t answer, she didn’t bother to. Clorinde was no fool – she knew the answer that Navia was looking for and it’s not as if she was wrong.
Callas had died by Clorinde’s hand and his blood will forever stain her hands.
Navia lets out a trembling breath, “You have no right,” she breathes, heavy and struggling, “You have no right to be here! The audacity to even show up – I never knew you to be so thick-faced .”
Clorinde casts her head down and when she does, she notices that Navia’s knees were dirty, tainted by the soft soil from kneeling for so long. Her clothes are damp, devoid of that usually blinding yellow she wears – her favorite attire faded and dull.
Navia breathes and under her breath she says, “But perhaps I did not know you at all.” Clorinde does not respond.
Navia lets out an audible scoff, followed by a wet laugh. Soil crunched under Navia’s boots and soon enough they were shoulder to shoulder, with Navia’s dim blue eyes looking forward, her jaw clenched and her fingers curled into her palm.
Through the heavy downpour, the thundering nearby, and the loud crackling of rain slamming against the field, Navia speaks, her words crystal clear, “ I don’t ever want to see your face here again. ”
Clorinde’s heart stings, painfully so. It almost feels as if someone had dug a hot sword deep into her chest and twisted it — curling the metal into her flesh and burning away every last bit of it.
The rain that floods the field becomes a heavy echo in Clorinde’s ears that it takes her a moment before she realizes that Navia is walking away – her back turned towards Clorinde. Silver and Melus walk by her side, the latter holding the umbrella over Navia’s head.
When Navia is far enough, where the storm covers her back and further dulls her golden dress, Clorinde drops her umbrella and falls to her knees. Her hands are trembling by her sides, her fingers shaking from within her gloves, and her breaths are shallow as if wanting to escape her lips.
The rain pours over her head, seeping through her once ironed clothing, and the wet mud around her squelch under her weight. Clorinde keels over, her hand clutching her chest tightly and it almost feels as if her heart was being suffocated by a rope.
“ I love you .” The rain does not stop and it drowns all sound.
4
The next time that Clorinde says it – she doesn’t really get to.
It all happened so fast, too fast. One moment she was swinging her sword with her pistol in her other hand and the next she was suddenly on the floor and her ears were ringing horribly. Her vision was blurry and aside from the deafening ringing, all she could hear were muffled screams and the sounds of feet hurrying near her.
She tried to move her head but her neck felt rather stiff and her body seemed to scream at her for even trying to move. Clorinde let out a huff, a groan leaving her lips at the immediate ache in her side, and she hisses when her head starts to throb rather violently.
Her vision was blurry, her chest heaving in an effort to let her breathe , and it was then that Clorinde acutely realized – she was injured .
Injured to the point where her body cannot move, where her muscles ached, where she could subconsciously feel something wet pooling below her. A sudden surge of fear shot up her body – no , she thought to herself, not here.
Clorinde let out a pained whine as she tried to sit up but her wounds – though she cannot see them – stop her. She slams hard against the soil floor, the back of her head hitting the soil violently to the point where she almost sees stars clouding her vision.
No , she cannot die here . She had yet to say goodbye, she had yet to bid her last farewell to everyone, to her friends, to Navia . Clorinde squeezes her eyes shut – she mustn’t die, not until she tells Navia one last time, just one more .
She silently pleads, she desperately prays to whatever God is watching her – please, give me one last chance. Let me apologize, one last time.
Let me tell her that I love her , one last time.
The pain, far too strong, almost consumes Clorinde whole. Her vision dims, her breath nothing but a fading melody, and she almost succumbs to the void that swallows her until someone falls to her side, gently cradling her head and putting it on their lap.
Clorinde slowly opens her eyes and it takes a second but soon she sees the one who had cradled her so gently. Ah, thank you , she softly whispers – there, holding her, looking at her, was Navia.
Navia – the source of her guilt, the source of Clorinde’s heartache, but the source of her joy, her love . Even in moments like these, Navia shines as bright as ever. Her crystal blue eyes shone so beautifully even when faced with the horrid monsters of this world and they were looking at her , at Clorinde .
Clorinde felt like a mere mortal standing before a divine being – undeserving of such a sight, of such attention .
It felt as if an eternity had passed since Navia looked at her – ah, but she’s… crying. Her eyes were looking down at Clorinde with panic, dread, horror and worry all at once. Wet tears run down Navia’s cheeks and she’s saying something, screaming something, but Clorinde is far too tired to hear her.
Ah, Clorinde wants to reach out and wipe those tears but her arm is too heavy to move, I do nothing but make you cry, do I? She wants to say but her breath is too shallow to speak.
Clorinde wants to apologize, again and again . She wants to kneel, to hold Navia’s hand and plead guilty for ever hurting her, for ever committing such a sin.
But her breath does not allow her to. Clorinde is stuck, she is stuck watching Navia call to her, stuck watching as the woman above her cries and sobs, her eyes suddenly darting elsewhere as if screaming for help.
Clorinde lets out a tiny gasp and for a moment she thinks Navia doesn’t hear her but she then suddenly looks at Clorinde. Her eyes panicked and she’s saying something but still , Clorinde can’t hear a single thing.
By the look on her face and the way her mouth moves, Navia looks like she’s trying to reassure Clorinde that everything’s going to be fine. It seems the most likely thing she would do at least.
But Clorinde ignores the pain, she ignores the effort that her chest heaves, she ignores the exhaustion threatening to pull her under — she ignores all of it for a brief second.
With all the energy she has left, Clorinde apologizes, or she tries to. But instead, the thought that plagues her mind, the very words that fill her last breath —
I love you .
The last thing she remembers is her vision going black, her body crumbling from exhaustion and a visceral cry for her name.
5
Navia doesn’t know the last time she had slept.
Has it been hours? Days? Navia doesn’t quite know anymore but it must have been pretty bad for Neuvilette to visit and offer to stay in exchange for letting Navia rest.
But Navia can’t, she can’t leave Clorinde’s side. Not now, not ever .
Navia denied it before Neuvilette could even finish, shaking her head profusely at each proposed idea she had. She wanted to stay here , right in this chair, where she can see Clorinde, where she can watch her closely, where she can see that she’s still breathing because what if she does leave? What will happen then?
Will Clorinde slip away from her like she almost had?
Navia lets out a shudder, her breath coming out as a shaky one. She clenches her fist, swallowing a knot down her throat, and she blinks a few times to steady her vision – it was getting blurry, a wetness that she was all too familiar with threatening to spill. She lets out a huff, hoping to dispel it, before looking up from her lap.
Her eyes rake over Clorinde’s body, her spine tingling as she takes in the sight. The sight was strange, unfamiliar . It was unbecoming and unbefitting of someone like Clorinde, of someone like the Champion Duelist.
The Champion Duelist signified strength, bravery, and the iron fist for justice. Clorinde was unstoppable, she was born a warrior, destined to fight and swing her sword with both grace and ferocity. She faced her opponents with unfounded confidence, challenged them to a battle that they were guaranteed to lose.
Because she’ll win. Clorinde always wins.
Navia gritted her teeth. A Champion Duelist does not falter on the field, they’re always the ones left standing, but why was Clorinde here? Why was she laying in this bed, defenseless? It didn’t suit her.
Bandages wrapped around her skin, ragged breaths, sweat trickling down her forehead, an expression of pain – none of it suited Clorinde and Navia hated it. She hated how small Clorinde looked, how pained she looked, because this cannot be the same person she remembered.
Suddenly a surge of anger shot through Navia. She wanted to shake Clorinde awake, she wanted to squeeze her face in her hands and scream at her. You killed my father ! She wanted to scream, So why are you laying here?! Get up! Don’t run away, don’t you dare run away! Navia’s fingers curled into her palms, her nails drawing harsh crescents on her skin.
But the anger lasted for only a split second.
They were healing, were . They had talked, cried , and that all ended in a tight embrace – one that was embedded with years of unsaid words, guilt and grief. That night they had stayed up late, catching up on the years they have missed together, discussing things they haven’t in so long and it all felt so right .
That night, Navia couldn’t help but feel it was where she was supposed to be. She wanted nothing else but to be there, to sit by Clorinde’s side and laugh together. They would never return to what they were before but Navia couldn’t help but feel that this was okay, that in time they will be okay.
And yet, and yet , there was still so much left unsaid. Old memories, feelings , rose back onto the surface but Navia was still grieving, she was still learning how to run without Melus and Silver by her side and she was still learning how to talk knowing that her Father was no longer around to hear it.
I’ll take my time , Navia said to herself, we’ll take our time , because they have all the time in the world to do so. Clorinde had promised to stay by her side, she had promised Navia – confident and certain – that she will run beside her, that when she talks Clorinde will be there to listen even if she goes on for hours.
But instead, Clorinde had fallen and she had gone deaf – suddenly Navia was all alone.
Suddenly, Navia was grieving all over again.
Her lips harden into a thin line, gritting her teeth, and her jaw is tightly clenched – she won’t cry, no . To cry is to grieve and Navia is not grieving because Clorinde was here , right beside her, breathing. Clorinde was breathing and soon she’ll wake up and she’ll smile, laugh, and apologize like the stubborn idiot she was, is .
I heard that if you talk to her, she’ll hear everything you say . Furina had said to Navia the other day, Why don’t you scold her? Perhaps that can wake her up! The former archon had giggled softly after that, patting Navia’s shoulder in a gentle manner.
Taking a deep breath, Navia says the first thing that comes to mind, “You’re an idiot.”. She only lets out a tired chuckle before continuing, “It’s almost surprising how you recklessly went in there without even thinking to get backup.”
Navia’s eyes trail across Clorinde’s unmoving face, as if trying to find a sign that she’s awake – she gets nothing. She huffs softly, shaking her head, “ Almost ,” she looks up at the ceiling, “I say almost because you’ve always been like that, haven’t you?”
She’s met with more silence so she continues. Navia swallows a knot in her throat, blinking a couple of times before drawing her attention back to Clorinde, “Ever since we were children you were always stubborn,” she fidgets with her fingers, “You’ve always done things on your own, always wanted to finish things on your own – you didn’t like asking for help despite needing it.”
Navia laughs softly before looking down her own hands, “And you say I should ask for help – what a hypocrite you are,” she smiles to herself.
But then her resolve wanes. Navia bites her lip and she presses her nails into her skin, a trembling breath leaving her lips, “You’re such a hypocrite, a horrible, horrible hypocrite,” she clicks her tongue out of soft annoyance but it does nothing to hide the tremble in her voice, “You knew it was dangerous to go alone, you knew , but you still went alone you fool . You’re such a… archons, I hate you.”
Navia’s eyebrows furrow and her eyes sting but she does not shed tears. She bends over, her other hand clutching her chest, “I hate you,” she mutters under her breath but her heart means otherwise.
“I hate you so much,” Navia sobs, her fingers digging into her shirt, “I hate you, I hate you,” She hisses through her teeth. Navia continues with weak and tired frustration, “You promised you wouldn’t leave but you almost did – why would you do that to me ?”
Navia clicks her tongue, taking in sharp breaths, she lets out a weak yet annoyed huff, “You’re selfish and a coward , Clorinde,” her voice shakes when she says her name but continues despite the tremble in her voice, “Pulling a stunt like that, running away – did you think you could run away? No, I won’t let you, I won’t let you– you– you idiot, fool ! You’re stuck here, with me , understand?!”
“I understand.”
“Good!” Navia shouts and she breathes heavily. She’s looking down at her lap, eyes stinging and jaw clenched. Her chest heaves in tandem and she’s shaking and then she realizes her voice was never as husky and smooth, it was never as low and heavy, and Navia snaps her head up.
Through the window, a bit of sun seeps through so when Navia looks up she’s met with a pair of glossy amethyst eyes looking back at her. Though tired they were glistening, shining, alive . In them lies a garden of sincerity, guilt, admiration, and a plethora of emotions that Navia feels herself is almost reeling back but they were there, looking back at her.
It was a familiar shade of amethyst, dark yet thunderous, filled with warmth and suddenly Navia was embraced by it once again. Suddenly her body is wrapped in this comfortable fire, this familiar feeling of belonging – suddenly she sees the familiar lightning that shone in the eyes she loved to look into so much.
“I’m…” she says but that’s all that leaves her chapped lips.
Navia’s knees are weak and she’s stumbling forward, her breath stuttering. Those amethyst eyes look at her, patient and waiting, and they widen softly when Navia’s hands cradle her face. Navia’s fingers tremble against the skin, shaking, and her light teal eyes wander between those eyes.
“Navia?” Her name rolls off of her tongue like it was a word she was meant to utter, like she was destined to say that name – and Navia was destined to hear it over and over again.
Navia lets out a breath – to hear her name, to hear the soft and gentle timbre of her voice – it all rattles her inside in a way she misses so dearly. She gulps, “Again,” she whispers, “Say that again– Clorinde , say that again.”
Clorinde looks at her in silent shock but soon her eyes soften and a look of understanding crosses her face. She nods gently within Navia’s tight grasp, “Navia,” she says, this time with certainty, “Navia, Navia,” she brings her hand up slowly and she brushes Navia’s wrist with the tips of her fingers, “I’m right here, Navia .”
Navia lets out a soft gasp and her eyes stare into Clorinde’s, a new fire sparking within them. She’s looking at Clorinde as if studying her, as if watching every twitch of her muscle or everything weak breath she lets out. She stares long and hard, her heart beating out of her chest, thrumming against her ears until it’s just ringing noise and it finally kicks in.
Navia’s knees give out before she could catch herself and Clorinde, oh this stubborn fool, lunges forward to catch her before she could slam her knees onto the hardwood floors. Clorinde’s arms wrap around her waist, secure and tight – and real .
And in that moment, Navia breaks .
She lets out an ugly sob, gathering Clorinde into her arms as soon as she stands on her legs – Navia cries into the duelist’s shoulders, her embrace wrapped around Clorinde tightly as if letting go would mean her leaving. She does not let her grip loosen, not once, and she makes sure to breathe in Clorinde’s wonderful scent – even if laced with strong medication.
Navia acutely feels Clorinde’s hand graze the small of her back – hesitant but there. Her callous palm runs comforting circles on Navia’s back but she doesn’t say anything, just letting her breaths pass by Navia’s ear as if reassuring her that she was very much present and not some sick dream.
When Navia’s cries soften, when they become silent sniffles, Clorinde says, “It seems that all I do is make you cry,” she hums, regretfully, “Perhaps that is all I’m good for.”
Navia buries her nose into Clorinde’s hair before slowly pulling away. She hastily wipes away her tears, a wet huff leaving her lips, “Be good at something else.”
Clorinde sighs at that, a soft smile finding her lips. Navia doesn’t leave Clorinde’s side, opting to sit on the bed rather than on the chair. When Navia looks up, she sees a frown form on Clorinde’s face, her eyes downcast, and then she looks up, “I’m sorr–”
“No,” Navia quickly cuts her off, “ No . You don’t get to say that to me after you almost– No, I won’t let you say that. I’ve heard enough of your apologies and, frankly, I’ve had enough of it so no . Say something else, say something other than that because archons Clorinde I do not want to hear an apology after you almost died. Do you understand?”
Clorinde blinks, she looks to the side then looks at Navia and it’s clear her lips are tempted to utter another apology but it seems she learns her lesson and keeps her mouth shut. Instead she nods, slow and slightly confused – probably disoriented – “I… Understand.” She smiles softly.
“Good,” Navia says and she stays staring at Clorinde with expectation to which the latter responds with a slight tilt of her head. Navia sniffles, wiping at her nose rather unceremoniously, “Well?”
Clorinde’s eyebrows furrow slightly, “I’m… afraid I don't know what else to say.”
Navia raises an eyebrow, “Really?” When Clorinde nods slowly, Navia frowns. She wipes away at the dried tears on her cheeks before looking back at the duelist, “You really have nothing else to say to me? After doing something so reckless ?”
Navia sighs when Clorinde looks at her dumbfounded but then a light smile finds her face. With little movement and in one swift motion, Navia softly bumps their foreheads together and she tucks a stray violet piece of hair behind Clorinde’s ear. She leaves her hand resting on Clorinde’s cheek, relishing in the warmth that had returned.
“Must I say it for you?” Navia whispers softly – she doesn’t miss the way Clorinde’s breath hitches. Navia closes her eyes, a sigh leaving her lips, tired yet almost dreamy and content.
“You fool,” Navia smiles, “ I love you, too .”
Clorinde lets out a breath she seemed to have been holding and Navia can practically sense the shock even with her eyes closed. Letting a few seconds pass, Navia slowly pulls away, tilting her head slightly, her eyes glossing with unshed tears, “I love you too, Clorinde,” she watches as Clorinde stares at her, looking as if the air had just been knocked out of her chest, “I always have.”
Clear surprise riddles through Clorinde’s entire body and she’s rendered unmoving and speechless. A weak and stuttered, “You… really?” leaves Clorinde’s lips. It was so quiet that Navia thought she had imagined it at first. Clorinde stares at her, dazed and lost – it was endearing in a very odd way.
Navia raises an eyebrow, a playful one, “Is that what you say to someone after they’ve confessed their love for you?” She shakes her head, ticking softly, “How harsh of you, Clorinde.”
That was enough to shake Clorinde out of her stupor as she quickly scrambles after herself – the look on her face is already telling of the million thoughts that are probably running through her head at the moment. But with an adorable tumble and a light tremble, Clorinde quickly says, “No! I mean–” She lets out a breath, looking up at Navia with her usually sharp amethyst eyes round and blindingly sincere, “I lo– I love you, I love you too Navia!”
Navia laughs and she does so not just at the silliness of the situation but at the way Clorinde’s once pale cheeks are now a bright red blush that spread over her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. Navia was sure that her own face was not any better, not when her heart fluttered with relief and joy at Clorinde’s response. Navia leans forward and places her hand over Clorinde, she lets their foreheads touch once more.
“I’m sorry I took so long,” Navia hums softly, “Even when I promised not to.”
Clorinde sighs softly, “No, no,” Clorinde shakes her head, “I told you didn’t I? If you asked me to wait for an eternity I will do so.”
Navia remembers, it is the one thing she always played in her head in the years between now and then. The certain promise that Clorinde made, her determination, her patience . Navia laughs, a few stray tears running down the corner of her eyes, “Well,” she chuckles, “While that may not have been the case, you are unfortunately stuck with me.”
She glares at Clorinde, “You even try to pull something like that again and trust me when I say this Clorinde – I will drag you back every single time.” Then Navia smiles, “Would you be alright with that? Being stuck with me?”
Clorinde smiles, “I cannot imagine wanting anything more.”