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r/AITAH
u/j-one914 - 50d
Living with my gay best friend is turning me homophobic. AITA?
My (M23) gay best friend (M25) has been bringing home more and more guys and I’ve started getting super nauseous and uncomfortable every time I see them leave in the morning. I’ve never been discriminatory towards him or other gay people before so I’m unsure why it’s happening now.
A little context: me and my best friend (who we’ll call Lee Know) have been friends for about 6 years now. We started living together when I entered my 2nd year of college and it’s been smooth sailing ever since. We do everything together and have never got tired of each other’s presence. He’s probably my soulmate tbh.
Recently he’s been going to bars and clubs more often and bringing home men almost every time. He usually will warn me if he knows I’m home so I can put in earplugs or leave, but I still see the guys leave in the mornings when I’m making my coffee. Lately, just his warning texts have sent a sinking feeling down my entire body and I feel like crying.
When the guys are leaving, they attempt to be friendly towards me before exiting but I’ve just been dismissive and annoyed. I can’t help but feel like an asshole wishing they weren’t staying in his bed. Lee Know will emerge from his room after them and avoid eye contact with me to get the coffee I prepared for him. I don’t want him to feel ashamed around me.
Just the sight of these guys leaving his room makes me light-headed. I didn’t think I was homophobic before, but now that it’s been happening almost every weekend, I can’t help but wish Lee Know would just stay home with me instead of bringing home these guys…
My best friend came out to me a little before we moved in together and it’s been fine ever since, until now ig. I’m straight myself but I’ve never had a problem with gay people. I grew up with a very accepting family and they still remind me to this day how they would accept me no matter what! so I have no idea why I can’t be supportive like them
I guess I just wanted to know if I’m being an asshole for wanting my best friend to spend time with me instead of these other guys. Am I the asshole?
lovelylixie 50d
ur an idiot lol
bangchan1003 50d
Oh brother
hyune-jinnn 50d
u said ur straight right?
j-one914 50d
yes
hyune-jinnn 50d
maybe double-check that.
j-one914 50d
??
i-2-n-8 50d
is anybody gonna tell this poor guy
seungseung 49d
You like him.
j-one914 49d
i’m straight
jutdwae 49d
LMAO
seungseung 49d
You’re the asshole.
bangchan1003 49d
Don’t listen to him…
hyune-jinnn 46d
any updates on this yet
~
r/AITAH
u/j-one914 - 45d
UPDATE: Living with my gay best friend is turning me homophobic. AITA?
Last night, my best friend came home with another man from the club while I was sitting on the couch. They came in making out but quickly parted when they saw me watching the TV. Honestly, my stomach was in knots at the sight. I couldn’t breathe and I wanted to cry. I didn’t think it had gotten this bad, but I’m such a horrible friend.
Lee Know apologized for forgetting to warn me but it became really awkward… I told him I could leave and just text me when to come back and he agreed. I picked up and left, a little shaky and upset he agreed just like that and went to get takeout at a local restaurant for the time being. It was only like 10 mins too, we could’ve spent some time together instead. That guy didn’t know what he was doing.
I’m currently writing this at our dining table with my coffee after watching the guy leave a few minutes ago. He spent the night, for who knows what reason, probably drunk too. Lee Know hasn’t left his room yet so the coffee I made is getting cold sitting on the table in front of me with the headache relief I pulled out for him. I guess I’m just a little frustrated with how easily he agreed to send me out of the apartment + he’s avoiding me (I think?)
He probably figured out my disdain for his engagement with guys and doesn’t want anything to do with me. I didn’t ask to be homophobic. I want to support him. Can someone help me figure out how to get my best friend to talk to me again? Did I mess up everything?
hyune-jinnn 45d
off topic, tell me more about what you like abt ur friend. so i can help ofc
j-one914 45d
uhh well he’s really thoughtful. and funny too, he always cracks jokes that we laugh at for hours and he laughs at everything i say. he’s also really handsome, i’ve never gotten tired of looking at him. i like that he’s a good cook and loves cats. he’s so gentle and sweet with animals. he’s a little cold at first to people but deep inside he just has a lot of love to give
hyune-jinnn 45d
ur helpless
bangchan1003 45d
Dude, you’re in love
j-one914 45d
did you read over the fact I’m straight?
bangchan1003 45d
Read it multiple times to make sure I was reading it right.
lovelylixie 45d
awww this is so cute, yall are adorable together
j-one914 45d
ty..?
user325 45d
sweetheart, you’re jealous, not homophobic
i-2-n-8 45d
you should talk to him before it escalates... don’t want to lose 6 years of friendship over this misunderstanding
j-one914 45d
ur right, i’ll talk to him tomorrow
jutdwae 45d
GAYYYY
seungseung 45d
The closet doesn’t even exist
~
r/AITAH
u/j-one914 - 44d
UPDATE 2: Living with my gay best friend is turning me homophobic. AITA?
I talked with him today during breakfast (he prepared it for us, it was delicious btw) and he told me he was just really tired and hungover yesterday. So I guess I just misread the situation. We seem to be back to normal. I told him I was sorry if I ever came off as unaccepting and he looked at me funny but he told me it was ok.
Breakfast was really nice. He kept smiling at me and feeding me some of his food too. His smile is really nice. I wish all breakfasts got to be spent together but we have to go to work at different times. Maybe I’ll start waking up earlier for this. I’m happy to find new ways to spend time with him.
I’m not sure if I’m homophobic or if it’s just towards him. Why can’t I let him be happy? I tried watching some lgbtq shows and I didn’t feel anything, besides being a little lonely… so case solved I think? We are doing great and have a scheduled movie night for next Saturday!
bangchan1003 44d
I’m glad y’all resolved it. One step closer
j-one914 44d
?
hyune-jinnn 44d
SO CLOSE
j-one914 44d
?
seungseung 44d
Tell me more about his smile. For no reason
j-one914 44d
i think it’s brighter than the sun. it makes my heart flutter a bit when i’m the reason he has it
seungseung 44d
Dear lord.
j-one914 44d
?
user4419 44d
which queer shows
j-one914 44d
just a bl
user4419 44d
wish that was you huh
jutdwae 44d
Have you reconsidered your stance on being a homosexual yet?
j-one914 44d
no, i’m literally straight
jutdwae 44d
How do you know that…
j-one914 44d
?
lovelylixie 44d
SO CUTE HAVE A NICE MOVIE NIGHT
j-one914 44d
TY
i-2-n-8 44d
you should kiss him at the movie night
j-one914 44d
?
~
r/AITAH
u/j-one914 - 37d
I pushed my best friend away when he tried to kiss me. AITA?
Last night, I (M23) pushed my best friend (M25) away from me when he leaned in to kiss me. We were on the couch watching a movie I picked out. It was towards the end when the main couple finally got together that I started feeling him creep toward me. He had had his arm around me the entire movie while we cuddled so the shifting caught my attention pretty fast. I thought he was getting up to get something. When I looked over towards him, he was looking directly at my mouth, leaning in. His eyes were closing and his face was so close I think I stopped breathing. I looked down at his mouth to see it slightly parted before he kissed me. I immediately pushed him away and ran to my room in a panic.
The contact wasn’t long (probably a peck) but his lips were so soft and nicer than I thought they’d be. I felt like I was blushing like a madman too, my entire face felt hot from the embarrassment. I feel horrible that I pushed him and even worse that I might’ve led him on.
I really hope this doesn’t ruin anything between us. I’m not sure I’d be able to live without hearing his laugh or eating his food. Or watching movies together and him letting me talk for hours without complaint. He always just smiles and lets me continue. Nobody has ever done that for me. It makes me feel so loved.. I can’t lose him. I would hate myself for losing the most special person to me.
I also hate that I want him to kiss me again. How selfish of me to take advantage of my gay best friend just because I’m so touch-starved. How will we ever recover from this? We haven’t spoken since a whole 24 hours ago and the last time I saw him in the house his eyes were red and he had frown lines etched into his beautiful cheeks.
Am I the asshole?
lovelylixie 37d
OMFG.
user0801 37d
You’ve thought about kissing him before??? Wdym “softer than I thought”
bangchan1003 37d
I think you both need to sit down and talk about your feelings. But before that, you might need to think about how you feel about him.
j-one914 37d
i feel like he’s the best thing to ever happen to me. i don’t know what else I need to realize
bangchan1003 37d
Take this: www.am-i-gay/quiz.com
j-one914 37d
???
j-one914 37d
i got “u might be gay” 5 times, the test is broken…fix it.
jutdwae 37d
helpless
user4419 37d
YOU’RE THE ASSHOLE
user325 37d
RELAX
jutdwae 37d
Maybe the closet was the friend we made along the way
lovelylixie 37d
LMFAO
hyune-jinnn 37d
i just frowned, i hope you guys can work this out :( i bet he’ll understand since you’ve known e/o for so long
j-one914 37d
me too, i just don’t know where to start
hyune-jinnn 37d
just trying to lead you in the right direction… have you considered you might like men?
j-one914 37d
no bc i’ve only liked women
seungseung 37d
Maybe start considering it.
i-2-n-8 37d
THE CLOSET HAS EXPLODED
~
r/AITAH
u/j-one914 - 29d
UPDATE: I pushed my best friend away when he tried to kiss me. AITA?
Over the past week, I’ve been attempting to talk with Lee Know and he’s been distant. My heart aches with every short reply and avoidance of eye contact. It almost feels like how I imagine heartbreak feels. I don’t think I can do this anymore, with the need to kiss him again and hold him close. We are usually very touchy but he refuses to be near me. We missed our movie night a couple of days ago and I think it would hurt less to have open heart surgery full awake than watch it alone again.
I am scared. Because we might lose our dear friendship over this, but also because I think I might like him. I’ve never liked a guy before. This is so new to me and I’m not even sure he likes me back. Sure he may have tried to kiss me, but it could’ve been a spur-of-the-moment decision. I was the one who put on the romantic film. Maybe he thought I was suggesting I liked him and it was done out of pity?
This week has been terrible. I have woken up early every day to find him already leaving. The coffee machine held just enough for me left but there hasn’t been the smell of food. I’m afraid he might be skipping meals or eating out to avoid me. I just want to see his beautiful face in the morning as he drinks his coffee with me. I want to talk about the crazy dreams I had the nights before. I want to wish him a good day. I need to kiss him each morning at the door as he leaves
I want to kiss him so bad. But I messed up. Does anybody have any advice on how to tell him?
hyune-jinnn 29d
YESSSSSSSSS
hyune-jinnn 29d
SUCCESS
hyune-jinnn 29d
wake up earlier and stop him from leaving
j-one914 29d
that’s like 5 am!?
hyune-jinnn 29d
anything for love.
lovelylixie 29d
just started crying
jutdwae 29d
In all seriousness, I think he likes you back. He might be avoiding you because he thinks HE messed up the relationship.
j-one914 29d
are you sure…? what if he realized he didn’t actually like me bc of this
jutdwae 29d
There is only one way to find out. Try it
bangchan1003 29d
Upvote
seungseung 29d
Just click the button to upvote, old man.
bangchan1003 29d
:(
seungseung 29d
Love isn't real
i-2-n-8 29d
:( please talk to him, i just know he likes you too
j-one914 29d
i will try soon. when i cool down from the realization about my feelings, i think
i-2-n-8 29d
proud of u !!
~
r/AITAH
u/minholovescats 28d
AITA? I forced myself onto my best friend and I think I’ve ruined everything.
I (M25) kissed my (M23) best friend of 6 years last week after our movie night. My best friend and roommate, who I’ll name Hannie, was watching a romantic movie with me last week. We were cuddling like normal but that night felt different. It felt romantic, like more than friends. I’m not sure how I got to that conclusion, seeing as he’s told me he was straight, but when the couple on screen started kissing, I felt Hannie shifting next to me. I thought he wanted my attention so I looked at him and he was just smiling at the screen like he was lovesick. He had such a cute pout on his face. I love that look on him, as well as every other one. He’s just so perfect. I couldn’t watch the rest of the movie, a bit distracted.
When I came out to him 5 years ago, he was extremely accepting. He always grew up with an accepting family, the opposite of my own, and would go out of his way to set me up with guys he knew. I went out but I never liked them. I only wanted him. He stopped setting me up on them one day and when I asked why, he looked a little panicked and green in the face. I got him a glass of water and he just told me he ran out of friends to send on blind dates.
I’ve always had a sneaking suspicion Hannie wasn’t as straight as he said he was, but I never pushed the topic. I was happy with how we were because even if he liked men it wouldn’t mean he liked me back. But recently, he’s been upset the mornings after I come out from one-night stands. I couldn’t tell if he was disgusted or jealous so I avoided the topic. I’ve been trying to get over him recently using these guys, but I don’t think I can ever move on from him. He’s been more clingy so I started thinking that maybe it was just jealousy. Maybe he does like me?
At our movie night, I leaned in, pulling his attention away from the TV. The kiss was short-lived. The next thing I knew, I was shoved back and he was rushing to his bedroom. I couldn’t see his reaction, but I just knew he felt awkward and embarrassed. I think I might have messed up our entire 6 years of friendship because I misread the signs. I forced myself onto my straight best friend and now he must hate me.
Just thinking about him leaving one day makes me feel ill. I never want to lose him. He means so much to me, even just his friendship means the world and more. I love his eyes, his round cheeks, his laugh. I love holding him close and our late-night talks about everything. He rambles about documentaries he’s seen and his favorite TV show characters and looks so adorable doing so. He is so considerate and I’ve never felt more loved in my life. I can’t lose him.
Am I the asshole? Any advice?
hyune-jinnn 28d
no fucking way
jutdwae 28d
Sounds familiar…
minholovescats 28d
I’ve never told this story before?
jutdwae 28d
Idiot
user4419 28d
oh boy
seungseung 28d
It won’t work out for you.
bangchan1003 28d
Have some sympathy!
seungseung 28d
Nuh uh
lovelylixie 28d
CONFESS. JUST DO IT I SWEAR
minholovescats 28d
I’ve avoided him all week. Wouldn’t that be awkward?
lovelylixie 28d
you screwed yourself on that one
bangchan1003 28d
What he means to say is: I don’t think you misread those signs and you both need to talk.
i-2-n-8 28d
feeling light headed ouhhhhh gay people are real
~
r/AITAH
u/j-one914 24d
UPDATE 2: I pushed my best friend away when he tried to kiss me. AITA?
We talked. Yesterday evening, he got back from work and I was sitting on the couch waiting for him. He dropped his things and rushed over, hugging me so tight I couldn’t breathe. He apologized over and over about avoiding me and then he started to apologize for kissing me. He said something about how he didn’t think I was ready? And that he forced himself onto me? Which confused me seeing as I unconsciously made moves on him. After the hug, we sat down and just talked about our feelings.
I apologized for pushing him away and making this so complicated. I explained how I thought I was homophobic and he laughed in my face… I said his hookups make me so jealous and how I wish they were me. He didn’t look as shocked as I thought he would. I told him. I finally told him how he makes me feel and he asked if he could kiss me properly this time. It felt amazing, better than any I’ve ever had. I guess it does feel more heavenly when you’re in love
I told him I think I was in love with him and he teared up, confessing he’s felt this way for FIVE YEARS?? I started tearing up too but because I made him wait so long… I put him through so much and I feel so bad. But he shut me up by kissing me again saying how he was glad I loved him back. How we have the entire future ahead of us. There was a lot of kissing, I hope whoever is reading is jealous lol
I think my problem might have been some sort of internalized fear. I’m still not sure if I’m ready to come to terms with it. I don’t know what I am, I just know I love him so much. We haven’t become official because I needed time but he understood. He asked me out and we are going on a date soon!!!
Thank you to all of those who helped me. I appreciate it.
jutdwae 24d
HOLY SHIT
bangchan1003 24d
THANK YOU LORD
hyune-jinnn 24d
SFKNLKDGAH;L
lovelylixie 24d
IT HAPPENED.
i-n-2-8 24d
fuck you, i’m not jealous. congrats ig
hyune-jinnn 24d
you are jealous
i-n-2-8 24d
Kiss me
hyune-jinnn 24d
omw
seungseung 24d
Ew
seungseung 24d
I never doubted you for a second! Congrats!
~
r/AITAH
u/minholovescats 15d
UPDATE: AITA? I forced myself onto my best friend and I think I’ve ruined everything.
Sorry (Not really. It’s my life.) for the long wait for an update.
We talked. He confessed to me how much he loved me. I confessed how much I loved him back. We went on a date a few days and became official yesterday. I love him so much. Thank you for (most of) the replies on my last post. They were very helpful and I’m glad we were able to talk it out.
seungseung 15d
Break up
hyune-jinnn 15d
so happy for you guys!!!!
jutdwae 15d
Use protection
bangchan1003 15d
Congrats!
lovelylixie 15d
love is in the air, i could cry
i-2-n-8 15d
gross
minholovescats 15d
Jealousy is a bitch.
j-one914 1m
oh my god