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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐍 + 𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐍 𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐍

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧, 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐋𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐧, 

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥 𝐌𝐜𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐲 & 𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐨 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐫

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 - 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐋𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐧 - 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥 𝐌𝐜𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐲 - 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐨 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐫 - 𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

Whoever made the name, I hate you

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞 

Excuse me, I don't appreciate that

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

I don't appreciate you calling me stupid

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

When the fuck did I call you stupid? 

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

In the name, you tosser

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

I wouldn't waste my time

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

Oh, I see how it is

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞 

Calm down, children

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

You're literally younger than the two of us

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞

Technically, you're correct

Mentally, you're wrong

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

Shove the technicality up your arse

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞

How does Paul put up with you?

You're such a bellend

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

There's no argument from me

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

How does Ritchie put up with you?

You're such a wanker

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

It's not exactly hard

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞

That's what she said

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲 

Christ, grow up

Julian is more mature than you 

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞

Don't even start, Lennon

You can't say anything about maturity 

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

It's Lennon-McCartney, for crying out loud

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞

Oh, my mistake, do forgive me

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

Shut the fuck up

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Calm down, ladies

Can you finish your little domestic later?

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

Aren't you the reason why they're arguing?

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞

Yeah

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

Obviously 

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

No, obviously not

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

For a married couple, you argue a lot

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞

Believe me, I'd rather die than marry John

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

What?

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

For once, I agree with the infant

You can keep him, Ritchie

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Baby, I'm just a hallucination

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

You're not, I'm not that lucky

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

That wasn't an opening for an insult

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

I don't need an opening 

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

You do realise that I meant Paul, don't you?

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

Yeah, obviously 

I'm not a complete idiot

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞

Which part is missing? 

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

Listen here, you little shit

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

We don't condone threatening behaviour 

If I were you, George, I wouldn't be having that

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞

Don't worry, have you seen my right hook?

He'll go down like a sack of shit

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

I didn't expect that

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Neither did I, I'm so proud

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞

Expect the unexpected, Ritchie

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Go, Georgie

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

Oi, whose side are you on?

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Not yours xoxo

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

You should be, you're my husband

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

I'm glad you remembered

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

Of course I remembered, I was at the wedding 

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

You were pissed out of your mind, Johnny

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

That's an understatement 

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞

You were dancing on the table, it was hilarious

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

You're all making it out to be worse than it was

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

I don't think we are

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐭

(For the sake of the story, pretend that John and Paul adopted Julian when he was a young lad)

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Hey, Jude

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

Hey, da

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

Shit, this is getting good

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞

Watch it, they aren't the only people with a child

Don't be a bad influence on our daughter

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

Bad influence?

That's not what you were saying earlier

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞

Richard Harrison-Starkey!

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

That's too much information, Uncle Ritchie

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞

I think we should talk about something else

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

Come on, we were just getting to the good part 

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

You perverted fuck

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

I'm definitely using that 

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤

My hatred for you in unexplainable

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

I love you too, husband x

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

Can someone please tell me why I was added?

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Julian, my darling boy

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

Paul, my dearest father

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤

If you're doing what I think you're doing, don't 

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

I have a question for you, son

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞

Christ, here we go

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

Fire away

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤

...

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞

...

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

...

𝐘𝐨𝐤𝐨 𝐎𝐡-𝐍𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐘𝐨𝐤𝐨 𝐎𝐡-𝐍𝐨

...

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐘𝐨𝐤𝐨 𝐎𝐡-𝐍𝐨 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

...

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

...

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Shall we move on?

𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤

Quickly

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Can you remember our wedding day, son?

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

Yeah, I was the pageboy

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

That's right, you were

Did your dad start dancing on a table?

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

Oh, how could I forget?

He wouldn't get down from it

You thought he was going to fall off

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

(Ignore the incorrect timeline, just go with it)

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

I see what you did there

Elton John, I like it

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

You know, I don't appreciate this 

My own family is ganging up on me

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

You can't hate the truth

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

I've never been so embarrassed in my life

Maisie was there, it was so embarrassing

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞

I forgot about your little thing for Maisie

Don't worry, she found it hilarious 

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

Excuse me, he has a thing for who?

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

I hope you're not talking about our Maisie

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

No, obviously not

We're talking about our neighbour 

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

You don't have a neighbour called Maisie

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

You never know

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

You live on a farm, Paul

You don't have a neighbour whatsoever

𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Oh

I didn't think that far ahead

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲

You're one daft git, princess

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞

Is it possible to fangirl over a relationship?

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Speechless.

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

You're a boy, George

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

BOT GEORGE

BOY*

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞

I have such a burning hatred for you

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

I love you too, baby x

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

I think I'm going to be sick 

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞

Leave me alone, I'm trying to be angry

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

You can do it, I believe in you 

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

This is too mushy for my liking

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 

You married John, he's worse

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

What the hell did I do?

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

You probably did something 

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞

You existed 

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Now, he did nothing to deserve that

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞

Are you, Paul McCartney, sticking up for him?

That's cute

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞 

What a rare sight to see

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Calm down, David Attenborough 

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

Technically, you're wrong

His name is Paul Lennon-McCartney

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 

Shove the technicality up your arse

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

I don't appreciate you stealing my phrase

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Christ, who pissed in your cereal?

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 

That's a disturbing thought

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

It wasn't me, I didn't do anything

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Nobody blamed you

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

Richard, we've talked about this

You can't be urinating in his breakfast

Do it in his coffee, he'll never know

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

I beg your pardon?

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞

No, my darling, don't do that

I love you xxx

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

I love you xxx

By the way, I wasn't planning on doing it

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞

Thank fuck for that 

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Is there something I should know, Lennon?

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 

Holy shit, he didn't say Lennon-McCartney

Good luck, Johnny

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

You're in deep shit, dad

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

I'm not finished with you, Julian

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

That's what I thought

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Lennon?

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

I'm disappointed in you for thinking I'd do that 

You know I wouldn't, McCartney

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

You probably would

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞

If you didn't do it, why would you suggest it?

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

It was a joke, Harrison

Honestly, you three need to lighten up

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 

Harrison-Starkey*

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

You best hope you're telling the truth

𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐞 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐞 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐭

Did someone say my name?

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

Begone, cretin

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐞 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩 

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

I mean it, Lennon

Unless you want a divorce

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

We both know that you'd never divorce me

You love me too much

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Maybe, maybe not

If I were you, I wouldn't bet my life on it

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

Don't start with that bullshit

You literally wrote I Will about me

You love me, Paulie

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

You're wrong, I wrote it about Freddie

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

Who the fuck is Freddie?

𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐉𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 

𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐉𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫

Good evening, darling 

𝐑𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐑𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐚

It's the morning, Fred

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

Who the fuck are you?

𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐬

Why am I here?

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞

I'm so confused

𝐅𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐅𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧

Imagine not being the favourite John

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

Excuse the fuck out of me

I'm the favourite 

𝐅𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧

You keep telling yourself that 

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩 

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Someone had his ego damaged

𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐉𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫

Paul, my darling, can we help you?

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

He's my darling, not yours

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐉𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩 

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

You're such a twat

𝐑𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐚

I refuse to comprehend what I just saw

No the fuck you did not just remove him

THE Freddie

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

Yes the fuck I did just remove THE Freddie

And yes the fuck I am going to remove you too

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐑𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩 

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

Where's the other one?

𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐬 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩 

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

There you go, it's as simple as that 

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

There was no need to remove them

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

I had every reason

Especially the planet

You wrote a song about him

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Don't be a moron all your life

I wrote it about George

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞

I'm honoured 

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

Richard, back me up

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

Hold on, I'm busy

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

How can you be busy?

Your social life is worse than mine

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

He's right, you know

His social life is shit, yours is much worse

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞

Busy doing what?

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

Messaging Julian

By messaging, I mean threatening 

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

He's starting to scare me

𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

You're not allowed to fancy my daughter

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞

Daddy Ritchie is here

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Leave him alone, he's a kid

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

I don't give a fuck what he is, McCartney

He's going nowhere near Maisie

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

Lennon-McCartney*

Anyway, knock it off, Pinocchio

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

There was no need for that

Also, you should be backing me up

He's your son

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

My son has fallen in love with someone

I'm proud of him

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

Nobody said anything about love 

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

What does a child know about love?

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

I know more than you think, Uncle Ritchie

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

Look what you've done

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

They're bound to fall in love eventually

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞

It's inevitable, baby

Oh, and it's unexpected too 

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

He has a point, you know

Christ, I fell in love with my best friend

Nobody expected that

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

Now, the two of us are married

We have a son too

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

I'm aware

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

Did you expect to fall in love with George?

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

No

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

Exactly, there you go

If they fall in love, leave them be

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Yeah, let it be

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞

That was quite poetic, I almost shed a tear

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

You know more about love than I do

I'm so proud of you, Johnny

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

You should be proud, it's your fault

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

Christ, here we go 

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

How the hell is it my fault?

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

You made me fall in love with you 

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Holy fuck, I'm crying

I love you

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

I know, I love you too

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 

We'd like to speak to John Lennon

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

It's John Lennon-McCartney, mate

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

I knew you would say something like that 

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞

Why can't you be that romantic, Ritchie?

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞

Excuse me, I can be romantic 

𝐃𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐑𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Well done, Harrison

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞

Harrison-Starkey*

How many times am I supposed to tell you?

I'm a married man, you know

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

I know, I was literally your best man

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

You do realise that he went offline, don't you?

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞

I know, he's acting like you

I'm convinced you've swapped personalities 

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

You should probably find him, Georgie

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞

Yeah, probably

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Well, that was eventful

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

You can say that again

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

Can Maisie come around? 

I want to show her my guitar

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

That better not be a euphemism 

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

Dad, I'm twelve

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

You never know

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Keep the door open

Don't do anything we wouldn't do

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

That doesn't leave much

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

I'm pretty sure it does

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

Don't worry, I wouldn't dream of it

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

I'd hope not, you're twelve

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

I can remember my first sex dream, you know 

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

John Winston Lennon-McCartney!

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

James Paul Lennon-McCartney!

Now that I think about it, it was about you

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

Too much information, dad

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞

Nobody asked, stop talking

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

Nobody was talking, you melon

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

I don't believe you 

We met when you were sixteen

You had one before that, I know you did

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

I swear down on our marriage, you were the first person I had a sex dream about

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

I think I'm going to be sick

𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞

Stop it, get some help

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

Don't hate the truth

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

I think we should move on

How’s Ritchie?

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞

He's doing something romantic

𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

Nobody asked, stop talking

𝐁𝐨𝐭 𝐆𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞 

Your husband asked, shut the fuck up

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞

Christ, give me strength