Chapter Text
“Where are you going?!” Lance shouted after him. “The battle’s this way!” He pointed hastily behind them, trying to keep up with Keith.
“I’m sending you home.” He could hear the other kicking up stones on the ground, stumbling while running. No one was forcing him to follow, but he did so regardless. Keith guessed they were both stubborn in that way, never letting the other out of sight for whatever dumb reasoning they came up with to disguise.
“What do you mean? You’re not sending me home! We’re in the middle of war!” If he had thrown a look over his shoulder, he would have been met with Lance’s frown, but he restrained himself. Keith would rather not see. For if he did look into those eyes once more, he’d be overcome so much with the sight of determination and confusion, he feared he’d fall into a deep pit of sorrow. He had already made up his mind and he was sticking with it. Keith kept on running, farther and farther away from the sounds of battle, where the team and a small portion of blade members were giving it their all. For him that meant something different in this moment. He led Lance over a large pile of rocks, tumbling down as he rushed towards the ship that had been hidden far from the others, a place invisible from the Galra base they were fighting over. Keith had reached the hard soil ground again, when he finally allowed himself to turn around, stretching his hand out for Lance to grab.
“What are you even talking about? We need to go back!”, Lance cried out from on top of the pile. He took an unsteady step forward, reaching out with his arms for balance. He did not take Keith’s hand. Everything was dark around them, very little light making its way down through the sea of stormy clouds that hung low above their heads. Only the shimmering beam of their armour illuminated the air, making Lance’s face glow in a way he just couldn’t take his eyes off, and Keith wished he’d just come down, so nobody would see them and interfere. He wouldn’t stand any disturbances, he needed to keep this moment sacred. Wind ruffled the other’s hair and Keith in an act of pure desperation stepped upwards again, taking off his helmet.
Lance crossed his arms once he caught his foothold. “I don’t care what crazy plan you’re having but you either tell me right now, or we’re going back immediately!”
Keith shook his head, preparing himself to argue back. “This is too dangerous. I’ve seen people die out here. More than once. I don’t need that to happen anymore. You’re going with them.” He nodded towards the ship, in which he knew rebels would be waiting for Lance. He had planned this months ago. These people weren’t interested in battle, but they would be bypassing earth a couple months from now. Lance would get home safely; he wouldn’t need to risk his life fighting any longer. If Keith had to go down in battle, he didn’t need to take Lance down with him.
“But… they need us. They need me… Right?” He looked away for a second, his eyes darting over the tranquil scenery, craning his neck to try and get a glimpse of the team in the distance but they were too far away. They needed to hurry if Keith didn’t want to risk any more people getting injured because he wasn’t there to help them fight.
“I know. That’s exactly the reason why.”
Keith had known Lance would never have gone voluntarily. If he did, he would never be able to let himself live it down, drowning himself in guilt until it was too much to handle. He hated himself for taking the opportunity away from him to fulfill what Lance had thought to be his hopes and dreams. For messing with fate, stealing the success, the joy and fame of a hero. But he had to do this. If he didn’t protect him, he would end up crushed under some enemy’s foot. Falling to dust, bleeding out cold and alone with nothing left but the glory.
“The other’s need you to stay alive as well. You’ve brought so much joy to everyone’s lives don’t you realize how devastated they’ll be if you never make it back home with them?”
“What, you don’t think I can fight myself out of danger? You think I’m so helpless that you need to send me away, so I don’t accidentally hurt myself? I want to be able to protect the other’s as well, I want to be there too, whether we win or fail.” Keith understood where Lance came from, but he really wished he wasn’t so stubborn. There had been too many nightmares keeping him awake at night, too many calculations gone wrong, too many situations in which either of them had just barely made it. Lance could argue all he wanted, it was already too late, Keith’s mind was dead set on his goal, and he would do whatever it took to go through with it.
“You lost your helmet,” he said, slipping it onto Lance’s head and grabbing the other’s arm. He pulled him down with him, the wind tugging at his hair, howling in his ears. Lance kept complaining but Keith kept dragging him onward, his hands shaking, scared his grip would loosen and the other would get away.
“You deserve to meet your family again.” That seemed to get through to Lance for some time, placing him into deep thought over the possibility. Making him imagine a different life, a different outcome.
They were only a few metres away, when Lance snapped back to himself. “I can’t do this. We can’t just leave. Everybody’s going to be so disappointed! We have responsibilities!” He shook his head.
“I don’t want to fight you over this, but I will if I must.” They stared at each other, Keith trying his hardest not to give in. Sounds of battle were approaching and a loud crash could be heard in the distance.
He looked back over his shoulder, Lance following his motion, probably thinking the others would come to his rescue. Keith swung his head around, grabbed his arm and hauled him forward, pushing him into the ship’s entrance, slamming the door shut behind him. He leaned against it with all his weight.
Lance recovered quickly on the other side. He banged against the door, yelling in agony.
“What are you doing?” His frustration quickly turned into panic when he heard the engine of the ship starting. “You’re not coming with me?”
Keith didn’t answer, toppling over when the spaceship took off, leaving behind a cloud of dust. He couldn’t see Lance anymore, but still slowly raised his hand to wave after him until the ship was entirely out of sight. He stood there for as long as he could, before running towards the scene of the battle again, promising himself he would put in double the work for their gone team member and friend.
~
That had been over a year ago. At first there had been many grievances, much shouting, yelling, crying. Keith tried going about his day like normally, but wherever he looked something seemed to be dangling in the air, and he caught himself walking up to Lance’s room out of habit. Getting his clothes and belongings out of the closet, making sure they were folded neatly for somebody who would never return, only to put everything away again. He didn’t dare talk to Hunk or the others about it, fearing he’d either be met with resentment or be overwhelmed by his own emotions. There hadn’t been Voltron for a long time. Shiro had been yelling at him for being too distracted and losing one of their friends in battle, as the general consensus had been that Lance must have been kidnapped. Keith wouldn’t dare actually tell them the truth, but he was unsure how to explain Lance’s absence either, that left a silence inside the castle he feared might make him go crazy over time.
At first, they had tried to figure out how to get Lance back but there wasn’t much use. One of the reasons Keith had chosen this particular group of rebels was that they had been incredibly hard to track down, even with the Blade’s connections. There was no way anyone would be able to figure out what route they were taking exactly, which in part helped them to go unnoticed by the Galra. Yet it also kept Keith from going after them himself when he was staring off into space for a little too long and feared he might lose his senses, if the silence didn’t go away. After some time had passed, they had started looking for a new paladin, but their regret only grew with each possible contestant, leaving the position empty, nobody really ready to move on just yet. It wasn’t like Blue let anyone near her, anyway, probably resenting him for the high treason he had committed towards her. Or maybe she was just glad that her paladin was safe as well.
Whenever Keith had a little free time on his hand, he would sit in the hangar close to her. Not directly sitting next to her, but near enough to hopefully feel a little connected to Lance. He would hold his helmet, twist, and turn it in his hands, studying all sides of it. Even though his looked exactly the same, he had spent hours walking over the battlefield once the fight had been over because he had needed to retrieve every single item Lance had left him behind. When he thought back to that day, trying his hardest to remember what Lance’s face had looked like in the low light, he regretted two things deeply. That he didn’t get to take Lance’s hand the last time they saw each other and that he last saw Lance without a smile. Their time without him, his laughter, his dumb jokes, simply his presence had been tougher than they had expected and even though Keith had been the only one prepared he sometimes felt like he was the only one truly suffering. Yet with each rough battle they fought he was a little more grateful that at least the most important one of them would be sitting safely at home. They were currently staying at an outpost incredibly far away from where he had sent Lance off and even farther from earth. He regularly consoled himself by reassuring his mind that Lance was perfectly fine enjoying his time with his family. Just like he did on that day, working on a sandy field, setting up communication devices with the rest of the team far off in the distance.
Rustling could be heard far from him, and Keith raised his head scanning the distant horizon for enemies approaching. He held one hand above his eyes to see better in the blazing sun blinding him. A figure was walking towards them, loose clothes flowing in the wind, armour strapped to the bag he carried around his shoulder, a red helmet under his arm. He blinked hastily, cursing internally on why his mind had decided to play tricks on him exactly now. He stood up slowly squinting his eyes, contemplating alarming the others, when his brain caught on to exactly what he was seeing. Or rather who.
Keith felt like his lungs were getting crushed. There was no way. He ran. He sprinted until he was close enough to throw himself around the others neck, the helmet getting dropped onto the ground. Lance wrapped his arms around his back pulling him closer.
“I sent you home.” He sniffled, burying his head deeper in the crook of Lance’s neck.
“I am home,” Lance said.
Keith thought his heart was going to burst, but he had to calm himself, when he heard the team storm towards them. He took a step back, forcing himself to detangle his hands from the fabric he so desperately wanted to cling to. The others cheered, almost crushing them both, hugging them as tightly as they could – forming a big pile of joy.
Keith excused himself after a while, needing to sort out his thoughts. He headed up to the roof of the building they were staying in, looking out over the sandy wasteland, watching the sun set behind a row of distant buildings. A few hours had passed, when Keith heard footsteps softly approaching him from behind.
Lance lay down beside him and for a few moments they simply enjoyed the silence, staring up into the sky. Until Lance reached over ever so slightly, taking his hand.
“I’d say I’ll never follow you to random ships on rocky fields again, but knowing me, I’d follow you to the end of all galaxies.”
“You don’t have to say stuff like that.” Keith chuckled.
“Oh, but I do! I didn’t get to talk to you for over a year, I need to make up for all those lost opportunities!” He turned his head towards Keith.
“If you knew the struggles, I went through to make it back to you? I felt so bad for leaving you all behind. I tried getting in contact with your communicators, but you were always too far away. At times I thought, I’d never make it back at all. Neither to you, nor to earth. I thought I’d never see any of you ever again.”
“I am so sorry…” Keith stared at him, wishing himself three stories deeper into the floor.
“No! You wanted to do the right thing! Well, maybe not the right thing but the idea was quite noble.”
“But it wasn’t. All I did was cause you a whole lot of unnecessary trouble. Why did you come back? You could have just saved yourself the trouble, lived a nice life with your family. Help the Garrison prepare for the Galra at the most.” Keith liked that prospect a lot more than the scars he saw whenever he examined Lance’s face.
“I felt like I had to. I understand where you were coming from, and I had a lot of time to think… I didn’t just come back out of obligation. I would have gone through all the trouble in the world to make it back to you. I want you to know that.” He inched closer.
“Can you close your eyes for a second? There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”
Keith closed his eyes, waiting for a split second, before peeking. Lance’s face was deliberately closer to his, so he could feel Lance’s hair on his forehead.
“I can see you; you know!” Lance scolded, covering Keith’s eyes with his hand. He leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Keith’s cheek. Keith laughed, covering his mouth with his free hand. The moment made him giddy. Or maybe he was still scared that when he opened his eyes again Lance would be gone. Just made up by his own imagination on lonely nights. His eyes got a little teary at the thought, but he tried to keep it together.
“You’re not going away again?”, he asked, eyes shut closed, not wanting to ever open them again.
“Oh, I’ve learned my lesson. You won’t be getting rid of me that easily in the future, I promise you that!” He entangled their hands, squeezing them together more tightly and softly rubbing his thumb over Keith’s knuckles to ease the tension.
He leaned in again, tangling his free hand into dark curls, and softly pressing his lips against Keith’s who in turn melted against him. Keith hugged his arm around his waist, promising himself to never let go, chasing after him, as Lance pulled away. When he opened his eyes again, Lance was fishing strands of hair out of his eyes, pushing them behind Keith’s ear. They were both grinning from ear to ear and Keith couldn’t resist cupping Lance’s face with his palms and pulling him in again, trying to keep his eyes open to not miss anything this time, but failing miserably. He laughed into the kiss in a mixture of hysteria and pure disbelief.
“This was the dumbest idea I ever had.” He shook his head, chuckling.
“True.” He boxed Lance in the side. “But I don’t think I’ll ever regret seeing your face when I finally made it back. I’ve been waiting for that for so long.” The look Lance gave him was dreamy, but Keith couldn’t help himself from laughing.
“You pretend like we were two decades apart.”
“Can you prove that we weren’t?”
Keith turned onto his side, propping himself onto his elbow. “You know what, I think you’re a bit too cheesy for me. Can I send you back?”
“Sorry, no take backs.” Lance chuckled, grabbing for Keith’s hand again.
“Too bad.” Keith yawned. “Guess we’ll just have to stay like this forever now.” He rested his head on Lance’s chest, interlocking their fingers and pulling them up to his chest before looking up into the vastness of space once more.
“I have no issue with that.” Lance followed his gaze into the sky. After a while, he slowly turned his head over, staring at the back of Keith’s head, running his free hand through it.
“I’m so glad I’m finally home.”