Work Text:
Bill the Professional Henchman was hiding. In all his years of assisting big-name villains, getting the shit beaten out of him, and still going back to the devils on Earth, it was only now that he was feeling this kind of debilitating fear. His heart had never beat as wildly. His blood had never rushed as loudly.
His throat felt dry as he tried to swallow his saliva.
Currently, he was hiding in some alleyway. Usually, he'd keep track of where he was running to, in case the Bats decides to steal his femurs an nth time. But he didn't know where he was, nor recognize where he trapped himself in.
But, like an amateur, he braved to look out of the alleyway he was hiding in.
He looked left.
Right.
Up and Down.
No Bat. No Birds. No...
New Recruits.
Bill shivered.
The New Recruits just debuted today, making a grand example out of his pal Steve of what exactly they could do. He could only watch in horror as Steve screamed, clawing his way out of the new recruits piling up on him one by one. Then, when Steve was fully apprehended (oh, god, Bill didn't even know if he was still breathing), that was when Bill ran away without looking back.
He was dealing with something new, something he never thought The Bat would ever allow to help him. Heck, he seemed to have given up his 'no killing rule' for them! Every goon and criminal is doomed!
They were tiny things, making chirping sounds and purring noises. They especially made these sounds when Bill heard the Bat praise them for their efforts in apprehending Steve (oh, God, please don't let him be dead!!) They looked so much like The Bat when they slide or glide on the ground. The only difference is that they were all green.
Shit. Were the rumors of The Bat being some kind of Eldritch Entity actually true??! Did... did The Bat successfully procreate and gain children of his own species?! Were those tiny little blobs his blood children? Siblings to the Sword!Robin?!?!
Bill inhaled deeply and looked to his feet.
Chirp?
"OH, SHIT!" Bill screamed, jumping and trying to become one with the brick wall behind him.
The little green blob chirped some more, scooting closer and closer to him.
If Bill weren't so scared, he'd call the little green thing cute. It decided to copy The Bat's ears. It's even wearing its own domino mask!
Chirp, chirp!!
Bill sobbed.
"Please don't hurt me," he pleaded in a desperate whisper.
And, it was as if the little blob was listening, stopping at his boot and purring like a little kitten. It seemed to rub its cute little blob head on the tip of his boot.
However, Bill couldn't shake off his apprehension for the little, cute fella. He still remembers Steve (RIP). He still remembers the screams. He KNOWS that this little creature is luring him into a false sense of security.
And it seems that the little blob knew that Bill wasn't calming down at all, because it stopped its purring and scooched back little by little.
Bill held his breath.
"Please... Don't you fucking dare..."
The blob opened its little mouth.
And trilled.
LOUDLY.
But, instead of the other little blobs that Bill saw eat Steve alive earlier, an even bigger and more familiar blob dropped in front of him, a menacing glare directed towards Bill. The shadows around The Bat clung to him in a menacing embrace, which Bill wondered if it was an actual thing or just his anxiety playing tricks on his mind.
"Hello, Bill," The Bat growled.
Bill couldn't reply. Why did The Bat look scarier? How does the Bat look scarier?
Chirp, chirp!
Bill and The Bat looked down. To Bill's immense surprise, The Bat crouched down, extending a clawed hand out for the little green blob to jump on.
"Good job, Lawrence."
Bill should stay quiet. He should. But, his mouth decided it was a great time to damn him even more!
"His name is Lawrence?"
The Bat growled, menacingly. Bill tried his best not to sob.
"Her name is Lawrence."
Bill nodded frantically. "Yes, yes, of course! Her name is Lawrence! My bad, man. Lawrence is a perfectly... beautiful name for... uhm... for your daughter."
The Bat paused, eyes squinting as if studying Bill. Bill tried not to squirm. Then, The Bat prowled closer and closer, eyes still glaring into his.
The next thing Bill knew...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
...he woke up in the hospital.
He didn't know how to feel. He just... stared blankly into the ceiling. The beeps were all muffled in his mind. Not even his tinnitus was bothering him. He just felt... numb.
Because what the fuck just happened last night? Like, what the actual fuck? Did the bat really successfully procreate eldritch little creatures to become siblings of the Sword!Robin?!
"Yeah. That's how I felt when I woke up, too," said a familiar voice.
Widening his eyes, Bill turned his head.
And in a hospital bed right beside his, it was Steve!!! Covered head to foot with bandages and casts!!!!
"Oh, man... STEVE!!!!!" Bill cried. "YOU'RE ALIVE!!!!"
Steve teared up a bit. "Yeah, man... I can't believe it, either!"
Bill will wonder about The Bat and his little blobs later. For now, he needs to catch up with his pal Steve.
***
In the Batcave, Damian handed the little blobs their own sticks.
"I shall teach you all the art of swordsmanship," he said, holding his own wooden sword.
Tim, who was seated at the Batcomputer, eyed the army of little, green blobs with dead, tired eyes. They all chirped in excitement, waving their little sticks around and trying to copy Damian's form in their own little blobby way. Then, Tim slurped his coffee.
'You know what?' he thought to himself, 'this might as well happen.'
He turned away from the army of blobs to Jason, who was teaching his own tiny army of blobs how to operate their own mini guns. Jason made these mini guns himself.
"That's right, Alexander," he heard Jason coo. COO. As if he's talking to a little CHILD.
And then, as if understanding the little questioning chirp Alexander the Blob was giving him, Jason said, "Watch carefully."
Tim watched with tired eyes how Jason flawlessly took apart and put together his gun, to which the little blobs perfectly copied with their own mini guns.
Tim guzzled his coffee. Jason wiped a stray tear away from his face.
"So proud of you guys."
Yep. This might as well happen. The blob resting on Tim's shoulder, with its own mini mug of coffee, chirped in agreement.