Chapter Text
Christmas evening in Iwatodai dorms, the mood anything but festive. After receiving a prophecy of their inevitable deaths, it’s a little hard to spread holiday cheer. The blue haired boy found himself on the rooftop, overlooking the city. The very one he had fought so hard these past months to protect, now doomed for extinction. It was a little hard to believe. No, much more than a little. And yet, he felt so… powerless. He let out a heavy sigh, a gust of wind blowing the hair away from his eyes. He looked up at the moon. Not yet full, and it wouldn’t be for a while. Makoto couldn’t help but feel an air of dread when he stood on this rooftop.
The 25th of December… it felt so off watching people enjoy the holiday, the SEES team solely burdened with the knowledge of The Fall. He decided that brooding under the night sky wouldn’t do himself any good. And so, Makoto retreated from his post, putting his hands in his navy blue denim pockets and swiftly turning around. As he shifts his gaze to the door, he is met with an all too familiar presence, and a charming face. The figure smiled softly at him, signature yellow scarf standing out against the nighttime backdrop. It billowed in the wind, flowing elegantly. The wind fell silent, a tinge of dread in the scarf that now lie still. “Ryoji…”
“Makoto.” Ryoji approached him, one hand in his pocket, another adjusting the scarf. He stopped a few feet away from him. His smile faded as he looked down at the ground. “I’d…like to apologize. For leaving you all with such a disheartening fate at a time like this. I wonder, is it… selfish of me?” He sounded as genuine as always. Makoto couldn’t help but feel a faint pain at this show of emotions. “Not at all.” He replied, and a smile returned to Ryoji’s face. One tainted with sorrow. “You always know just what to say to me. There’s something on my mind, but… it isn’t time for that, yet. I’d like to spend my final days in this form with you. In fact, could we… go around town tonight? I’d like to experience Christmas. With you, of course.” Ryoji let out a wry chuckle, he looked a little embarrassed. It was endearing. Makoto smiled, gazing into his eyes. “…When you look at me like that, it hurts..” Ryoji whispered, willingly allowing his words to be whisked away in the winter wind. “Hm?” Makoto asked, not hearing his words. “Nothing, nothing. Let’s get a move on.” Ryoji laughed awkwardly. Makoto could hear the pain in his voice.
The two made their way to the lounge, greeting the rest of SEES. There was no faux cheer to be had, the mood quite gloomy. It was understandable. Together, they exited the dorm and began to walk down the city streets. The night air had taken a shockingly chilly turn. “You all adorn yourselves with coats to get away from that bitter air, but I think that I like it. Why do you all shield yourselves from it?” Ryoji was somewhat like a small child, in that sense. Always asking questions. A rather well articulated small child. “Because it hurts.” Makoto said, buttoning up his own gray coat. “I see… is it human nature to run from the pain.” Ryoji’s voice trailed off. It was worded like a question, but his tone implied he already knew the answer.
They arrived at Paulownia Mall, Christmas lights strewn about, an artificial festive theme plagued the shopping center. “Hm. I wonder how long it took to put all of those lights up, and where they are all plugged in…” Ryoji was lost in thought again, Makoto simply chuckling to himself. “And yet… all the work that went into it really paid off. It’s beautiful. You know, I always get this pain in my chest when I look at something beautiful. Do you get that, too?” Ryoji smiled at him, earnestly awaiting his answer. A moment of silence.
“I’m getting that feeling right now.” Makoto said, looking at Ryoji. His eyes widened a little, his cheeks turning a pale red. Though it’s ambiguous whether this is due to Makoto’s smooth comment or the freezing cold weather. “My…you never fail to surprise me. I feel like you’re being honest, though. I’m glad you get that feeling too.” Afterwards, they browsed the many shops decorated to fit the theme. Ryoji couldn’t take his eyes off of a single one, which led to Makoto being dragged around. He didn’t mind, though.
The night drew to a close, or at least, the stores did, as it was getting quite late. “The Dark Hour approaches. We should get back to your dorm.” Ryoji suggested, and Makoto nodded. The two grabbed hot chocolate and walked back. They stopped in front of the door to Makoto’s room, Ryoji placing a hand on his shoulder before he could open the door. “Umm, wait… I don’t think I want to go to sleep tonight. I would like to spend more time with you…” He was looking away again, awkwardly fidgeting with his yellow scarf. “…As much as possible. Is that okay?” Makoto couldn’t help but smile at him. Yet, his thoughtful words were coated in sorrow. Makoto knew why, but he shelved the thought for now. There was no use dwelling on the inevitable.
Together, they watched movies and talked about irrelevant topics until they passed out from exhaustion alone.
3:46 AM. The lock to Makoto’s door shifted and clicked, before the door slowly opened. Aigis entered, looking at the room. Her eyes landed on Ryoji, sat on the end of the bed. His gaze was fixed and sad, looking off into the distance. And yet, a bittersweet smile betrayed his depressed demeanor.
“Aigis…” He spoke, not looking at her, though. He appeared to be deep in thought. “I do not harbor any resentment towards you. But, surely you know what I am about to say. The longer you stay with him, the more it will hurt you to leave.” Her voice, once cold and robotic, words based only on facts and statistics, was… genuine. “Thus is the human condition.” Ryoji let out a wry chuckle after he spoke, placing his head in his hands. “We’ve both learned so much about what it means to live, you and me. But, in my eyes, Aigis, you always had a much better chance.” Aigis looked away. “Thank you. I know you regret your decision that night, but I think you’re the only one to feel that way. If it weren’t for you… no, nevermind. This isn’t the last time we will meet.” Ryoji allowed an air of silence to fill the room before standing up.
“It is not. That is correct. I will be going now.” Aigis said before exiting the doorway, shutting it behind her. “The 31st of December…” Ryoji’s voice trailed off as he looked at a sleeping Makoto. “I wonder, have you already made your choice? What do you dream of? What thoughts cross your mind after you conjure up an image of me? There is so much I still want to know about you…” Ryoji clutched his chest.
“That feeling I have right now, and the one I always get.. I did some reading. I think that you all call it…love.” A single tear rolled down his cheek, illuminated by moonlight from the window. “I’ve never done this before. Haha, you really do never fail to surprise me. All I want right now… is a life full of surprises. A life full of you.” He sniffled, using the edge of his scarf to wipe the tear from his eye.
“I understand my place in fate, but at times like these, I wish that I could bend it. Such are the idlings of a child. Fleeting daydreams of us…” Ryoji silently walked towards the door. “I’ll be here on that night, awaiting your choice. Follow your heart… no matter how painful.”
The lock clicked again. The door closed. Ryoji’s presence, gone.