Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

They haven’t really discussed what the late-night cuddling on Yuuta’s bed meant before he left for Africa.

It was an unspoken agreement that both liked something about that situation, about each other. They just never had time to get into the semantics of whether their little ritual had changed from its previous, admittedly purely pragmatic, intent of helping Yuuta sleep after his traumatic, sudden goodbye to Rika to something else.

Even if he tiptoed around his feelings in their nearly daily, way too obviously flirty texts during his time away, Toge knew (at least for his side of the story) that the first thing he’d do when Yuuta came back was to throw himself on the lanky, awkward teen and confess on the spot.

He wants Yuuta back so badly that he doesn’t care about the confused looks on the first years as he storms off to greet his crush best friend on that day in October when the familiar black car with Ichiji in the driver’s seat rolls onto the Jujutsu Tech campus. Toge tries his hardest not to trip over the sets of stairs cascading downward as the valley of the parking space draws nearer and nearer before his glimmering lavender eyes.

Admittedly, the excitement dies down pretty quickly, though, as soon as Gojo exits the car first. Toge stops in his tracks, slouching visibly. He almost expects this to be one of those times when their teacher steamrolls their arranged plans and promises and utters a cheery “Oh, Yuuta-kun? It’s funny you ask because he was actually requested for another mission before he comes home but look—I got all my favorite students some souvenirs!” and, while at it, he would have the nerve to tease Toge about his near desperate excitement to see his “friend” as Gojo came to underline this word for everyone to be seen with a devilish smirk recently. Gojo's told them once of his best “friend” during a super important lesson on special grade sorcerers and everyone had at least some modicum of respect not to question the homoromantic tension within that story.

Traitor, Toge scowls.

So yes, Gojo's own flavor of harassment seems entirely possible to happen today and Toge dreads this possibility since he can’t possibly hype himself up another time to do the whole ‘today you’ll confess’ pep-talk in front of his bathroom mirror all over again. People have started to ask...questions. Maki doesn't even hide her sharp tongue in front of him and even has the audacity to ask how things are going with "loverboy." And Yuuji may be a little slow at times, but even he inquired about the meaning of Toge’s week-long repeated mumbling of “tsuna. shake, tuna mayo. Yuuta, umeboshi!” behind closed doors.

What a drag, the whole lot of them.

“Wow! Look at who missed his favorite teacher!” Gojo cackles behind his stupid sunglasses. Toge makes sure to roll his eyes in a way that would pierce all of his six eyes and maybe his inflated ego at the same time if he was lucky.

“Aww, no need to be so hurtful, Toge-kuuun,” he pouts theatrically as he wiggles a large bag of what are probably sweet souvenirs between his fingers. “Look how many souvenirs I got my favorite students,” Gojo lilts, now with a smile on his face. Bingo.

Gojo puts the bag on the hood of the car and his smile turns mischievous as he says, “Oh, and I got a little something, hmm… I should say ‘someone’ special just for Toge-kun here as well,” announcing it with a clenched fist near his face as if he’s speaking into a microphone. The other hand, he stretches out like some gameshow host announcing the unveiling of the most anticipated prize that Toge hopes to be lucky winner of. Or, in this case, the person who clicks the other car door open. Toge’s eyes sparkle and he inhales sharply under his uniform’s scarf from the presentiment of something good that'll happen any minute now.

Sure enough, only a few moments later, the door gently swings open, and out comes a tall and handsome man shouldering a katana bag.

“May I present,” Gojo fakes a drumroll and pulls out all the stops to give him a grand entrance and Toge watches the poor man's theatrical production, very little impressed. (Toge has always wondered whether Red could be adapted into a harmless ‘fireworks mode’ or something like a laser show. Now that would be impressive, he thought.) “Here’s our one and only, most beloved cursed child and special grade sorcerer, Okkotsuuu Yuuta-kunnnn!” Gojo celebrates with jazz hands and some pitchy whoop whoops for good measure. Ichiji claps in social obligation, it seems.

Now it's Toge’s turn to react and he's absolutely hypnotized by the man who stands by the car. Perhaps he is already affected by a cursed technique of that nature without having noticed. How else was he to believe that the person before him was his same once awkward, timid crush best friend, Yuuta.

No, retract that. Not the same. Absolutely not the same.

And that person smiles at him as soon as he sees Toge up ahead on the stairs and waves with a playful smirk. Yeah, no, definitely not Yuuta.

Yet, Toge froze in his steps at the striking familiarity of who was just introduced to him as the one and only, Yuuta. His head tries to make sense of it, but the visual image his mind retained of the slightly timid, slouched over, baby-faced Yuuta is clashing starkly with this… this tall, hot caramel macchiato (with extra whipped Toge) who comes in hot and sizzling as he runs up the stairs towards him, holding the strap of his bag over the right shoulder.

Oh no, Toge was absolutely not prepared to confess to this version of Yuuta. He's had his sugary sweet caffeine kick in the morning to get the day started right but he would've waited if somebody told him he'd be overdosing on the intoxicating look Yuuta casts upon him that affects him like an espresso shot right through his veins.

Where was that bi-monthly newsletter that informed him in advance of all of the drastic changes that he was desperately trying to wrap his head around within mere seconds? Impossible! Even with his hardware working at 2x speed to adapt to this confident version of Yuuta, his brain does not compute.

Why the fuck didn’t anyone send him the memo?!

“Toge!” Yuuta exclaims with a dazzling smile that warms Toge’s frozen state like the scorching heat of the sun. His voice is still the same, but he just can’t seem to get over the incongruence between his mental image of Yuuta and the mind-bending visual of the Yuuta right in front of him.

Meanwhile, Maki, Panda, and the first years have caught up a few steps behind Toge – Yuuji and Nobara to see the famous special grade student, and the others to greet their old friend. He hears Maki and Panda snickering as they have already done these past few days, while Yuuji is probably getting a high-speed introduction from Megumi judging by the ‘huh’ and ‘uh-huh’ that he hears behind him. He's trying to compute as well, good for him. Toge swears he also hears someone’s teeth crunching and this time it’s not their resident panda.

Without breaking eye contact, Yuuta quickly skips over the steps – too few, too small, too fast – with ease and effortlessly scoops up Toge in a hug that literally lifts him off the ground.

“I’m back. I missed everyone,” his smooth voice travels directly into his ear due to the sheer closeness of their bodies entangled like this.

“I missed you too, Toge,” he speaks in a husky whisper with a tinge of expectancy in his tone.

Caught off guard by this sudden attack, Toge abandons all hopes of going through with his confession on the spot as just the warm breath from Yuuta’s affectionately charged words tickling his ears has his hairs stick up at the back of his nape and he’s sure that by now his face has become as crimson as a strawberry.

At least he’s not currently facing his friends or Yuuta himself. But, oh god, Gojo. Gojo is at it again with a mad storm of lightning flashing from his smartphone documenting the whole scene. He’ll never live that down if the footage makes it to anyone other than Gojo. He feels entirely put on the spot in this whole situation.

He feels small and short, and so very flustered within Yuuta’s tight embrace, his arms and feet hanging uselessly over the ground.

“O-Okaka...!” he stammers in his bewilderment.

Wrong. It was all so very wrong!

His eyes dilate and his face darkens a deeper shade of red in embarrassment as he takes in every single aspect of their long-awaited reunion. How is it that within less than a year Yuuta has changed so, so much?

Of course, he’d come back being all handsome like that. There was just no other way if those relations to Gojo were prophetic in any other way than the strength of Yuuta’s cursed technique. Not that he didn’t fancy him from the start; Toge had already been blessed with images of the nervous, but insanely endearing boy before he even knew what to call this feeling of adoration. Back then, his tousled black hair had just the right amount of spikiness and fluff and his big, stormy blue eyes shone with a spark of innocence despite the dark shadows underneath that spoke of his waking nightmares as a boy made special grade sorcerer within just one fateful day. Toge’s mind was flooded with the shy smiles and cute faces of confusion Yuuta sometimes made while he adjusted to the way things worked in Jujutsu society.

Yes, Yuuta has always caught Toge’s attention with his personality and physical appearance, so he couldn’t help but hyperfocus and compare the Yuuta he's been texting with these past few months and the changes he has noticed in his personality and the way he looked in his sporadic (blurry) selfies. In Toge's defense, those photos absolutely do no justice to Yuuta's stunning effect on Toge in real life. He is just the image of confidence incarnate, but not the braggy kind like Gojo, thank goodness. No, it is genuine and humble on Yuuta. After all, Yuuta's spoken three full sentences without stammering or his voice cracking, and that is saying a lot! Not to mention his new and mature look. His face has become more defined, sharper edges more prominent, no longer adorned with padded cheeks of child-like roundness. The dark shadows might have turned darker, but the tan he's acquired over there together with those permanent(?) marks unironically looks healthier than with his pale complexion a few months ago. The inky hair that was somewhat funny on that one picture where it sloppily framed his face in a lousy attempt to deal with the growing locks is now parted elegantly to the side and Toge can't help but feel a sense of comradeship for the grown-out hair that just looks so mature on Yuuta. (He's been told it has the opposite effect on his own face.) His posture is straight now and it does wonders for his confident first impression on the first years who look at him with a sense of reverence (minus Nobara - she looks furious). He’s also grown more into his same old white uniform, filling out the once baggy fabric with strong arms and most likely a deliciously muscled rest of the body to go with them if the arms that squeeze him tight and the broad back he holds onto now like a lifeline are anything go by.

Unable to resist this affectionate display of all the words left unsaid, Toge gives into the love he feels for this boy and relaxes in Yuuta’s arms like the pining fool he is. It doesn't have to mean anything, he tells himself. Maybe it's just the kind of friendship they've cultivated where two guys can be bromantic and sleep in the same bed without catching feelings. For a brief moment, however, Toge wishes nothing more than to skip the part where they discuss the extent of their unspoken feelings and crash into his bed with fervent, burning hot kisses and touch every – preferably naked– centimeter of Yuuta’s newly sculpted body. Oh lord, send a prayer for this boy and return him from the heavens to the grounding earth. He is on cloud nine already and not prepared to come down anytime soon.

Not that he could, literally. Not unless Yuuta releases him from this dreamlike hug and plants him back on the ground where he’d be rooted like a sunflower, his gaze following wherever his sun is in silent appreciation.

“Su-Sujiko…tsuna, mentaiko, Yuuta,” he scolds him, asking to be put back on his feet.

“Heh, yeah,” Yuuta speaks with a knowing smile, “you’re right. I’ll say hi to the others now, okay?” He winks at Toge as he heads up the stairs.

Only then could Toge truly appreciate, or should he say lament their obvious height difference as Yuuta moves past Toge onto the same step as his for just a second. He's boiling with conflicting stimuli of jealousy and attraction. Just how is he to topple this boy and confess his undying love to him without actually being able to make him budge thanks to the unexpected boost in size and strength? Just what in the world went down all this time Yuuta spent in Africa?!

Logically, he knows that Yuuta was sent there to reclaim his special grade status and get out of the hairs of the Higher Ups for the time being. Of course, he'd outgrow his timid character and his skinny body. However, you can’t tell a guy that his best friend goes overseas to train with hardly any word about his impressive personal journey and expect him to welcome back said friend being all hot and sexy with confidence entirely unfazed!

While Yuuta had completed all kinds of journeys over there— air travel, those relating to his strength and his technique, and god forbid, did Yuuta have any romantic conquests while over there?—Toge’s inability to adapt to all of these questions and divine challenges presented before him express themselves on a face journey that Gojo, to Toge's absolute dismay, documents with so much dedication.

Right then and there he feels exhaustion overcoming him as he utters a dejected “tsuna mayo” as if he's used his technique on the special grade only to backfire on an astronomical scale. And in a way, it has. Backfired, that is. He's been so confident in the success of his plan, to fluster the shy Yuuta and make him blush furiously, that he completely forgot to calculate the variable where Yuuta's the one who faces him head-on with his own confidence within and out.

Toge admits defeat and trudges towards the rest of the group who welcome Yuuta each in their own way—though someone really should hold back Nobara’s flying fists before it gets ugly. (He doesn't have the heart to tell her that her threats would be futile against Yuuta in a real fight.)

So he doesn’t say it today.

After all this time, they're together again and Toge thought that they remained the same. But so many things have changed with Yuuta's return back home that he can't help his mind from wondering what else has or possibly could change between them.

If anything, and he doesn't admit that easily because he's still being petty about their physical differences (read: height), he likes to think that his own feelings have just become even more intense than he could've ever imagined. He would devote his everything to Yuuta.

So, maybe he'll try again tomorrow after all.

Chapter Text

It’s not even the next day yet and Toge needs a recap.

He’s currently sitting on the couch next to Maki and Nobara, now all chill in his comfy hoodie and sweatpants, watching the small crowd around Yuuta through his fingers. The other boys and the cursed doll sit opposite of them in their armchairs and fluffy pillows on the ground.

To recap, Toge realized he’s a massive idiot because he expected Yuuta to remain the same old dorky and angsty teenage boy when he came back from Africa. Instead, he’s matured into a man of alluring confidence and tantalizing beauty.

It’s been a confusing few hours trying to recontextualize the months of gradual changes he’s noticed about Yuuta through text with the impressions he got thus in real life.  He’s seen him open up more during their chats and the odd phone call every now and then, but anyone could fake confidence behind a screen. The real thing is much harder to pull off, especially for the boy who mistook Toge’s high-five for a threat the first time they went on that mission at Hapina Mall together.

And yet, here’s Yuuta sitting with them in their shared open lounging and kitchen area drawing in his peers with his charm and charisma and stories from adventures of a far-away land. How did they used to talk before Yuuta disappeared from their early morning breakfasts and the exhausting sessions on the training ground? How did he not dissolve into a puddle during their late-night talking in the comfortable embrace of Yuuta’s arms wrapped gently around his shoulders? Every page from their shared album of memories is now in disarray. Toge can’t help but feel a twinge of envy for his friends who talk to him comfortably, Panda and Yuuji getting all close to him with their ruffling his hair and fist-bumping respectively.

He wants that too, Toge pouts. That and so much more.

He’s seen what teasing Yuuta is capable of with his enticing new looks and the elegant smoothness he performs with every small gesture like when he so mindlessly combs the bangs out of his face. The action is futile as they immediately bounce back into place but Toge is already imagining much more unsavory scenarios where hopes to see Yuuta do that. He thought he didn’t need to attach these kinds of thoughts to the image of his crush (okay, he admits it now), but lately, he finds himself wanting Yuuta in more than just the deeply emotional connection they’ve shared for so long. The blueish veins that protrude from his hands look so hot.

But if he temporarily snaps out of his delusions, Toge is also insanely proud to see Yuuta having evolved so much. Throughout the day, he’s observed Yuuta interacting effortlessly with their friends who hang onto every one of his words like moths to a flame. Toge’s heart flares with burning admiration as he watches Yuuta effortlessly handling all the attention around his person and navigating social situations that once left him feeling awkward and out of place.

Toge is a fool.

He’s stewing is his unresolved conflict of the mind that tells him to be upset at how much Yuuta has matured without him, while the other part of him says to take everything for what it is and run with it; to take advantage of all the things he could do with this bolder Yuuta (or Yuuta to him) if he doesn’t have to limit the aggressiveness of his approach now.

Although Toge doesn’t quite know where to start with his conquest over this boy’s heart (correction: he already knows that he’s physically incapable of tackling that pillar in front of him as he planned originally), he’s planning to spend the night wracking his brain for an answer.

Despite his inner turmoil, Toge tries to maintain a facade of composure, masking his inner turmoil behind a stoic expression. He knows he’s being quieter than usual, but he can’t muster up the courage to participate fully in their conversations. Not while his sole focus is dedicated to documenting the subtle changes in the way Yuuta’s smile morphs from a gentle curve of his lips into a teasing smirk as he locks onto Toge in his compacted position on the couch like a .zip file. Yuuta’s gaze wanders to Yuuji and Megumi as Toge shuffles out of his uncharacteristically closed-off body language and once more projects an air of calmness in his more relaxed position on the vintage furniture.

But inside, his mind is racing with questions and doubts. After all, he still wants to confess. And as soon as possible; ideally, tomorrow since today was a bust. His head’s spinning around already at the simple thought of standing before Yuuta and baring his heart to him entirely. Would he be accepted? Would he be rejected? And most importantly, does Yuuta still see him in the same light as before, for better or worse?

The once familiar dynamics have shifted, leaving Toge to navigate uncharted territory.

“Come onnnnn, senpai! Show us your favorite copied technique!” Yuuji’s eyes sparkle with a puppy-like excitement. “Pretty plea—"

Megumi gives him a whack on his head. “Leave Okkotsu-senpai alone already. He’s probably tired and wants to rest,” he reasons.

“Yeah, Megumi’s probably right,” Panda chimes in helpfully, “you can spar on the training grounds tomorrow. And it’s not like we can just thrash the common room if Yuuta decides to pull out a behemoth of a cursed technique right here.”

Sounds reasonable, Toge thinks, though he would be lying if he said he wasn’t as curious as Yuuji about the various unique and insanely destructive techniques his friend has copied during his time away. His arsenal of curses is a better-kept secret than Pandora’s box at this point, he muses. That artifact has recently been unearthed and confirmed to be an ancient, yet comparatively harmless cursed object.

“Ahaha, guys, please,” the way Yuuta’s eyes crinkle when he laughs is so pretty Toge thinks as he catalogs this precious new memory to his mental album, “I still need to unpack my stuff and shower, but we can chat more during dinner, okay?” He seems to be quite popular among the first years. Even Nobara’s eyes show enthusiasm for the few anecdotes Yuuta has shared from his travels.

He’s truly become happier overall, it seems.

It is good, and it hurts.

Maki occasionally looks over to Toge, eyeing him with suspicion for his unusual quietness. She must’ve caught onto his unconscious descent into silence. She might give him a hard time most days, but he’s eternally grateful for her pulling him out of uncomfortable situations like these without calling attention to his unease.

“Okay, okay now,” she says as she crosses one leg over the other, “leave the broad bean alone and let him freshen up. He stinks.”

“Hey!” Yuuta frowns.

“Anyway, Yuuji, me, and the chickpea over here will get started on cooking dinner, so make sure you’re all here when it’s done. And now shoo!” Maki stomps her foot.

“Ah, I’ll take my and Megumi’s portion to my room and review the strategy for our spar against Yuuta-senpai,” Yuuji informs them.

Maki’s eyes narrow.

“You eat here, or you starve.”

“O-Oh, uh-huh. Gotcha Maki-san,” Yuuji visibly deflates.

Welp, so much for their “strategy” meeting. Toge knows exactly what those loons in love do during their so-called strategizing. He’s been tormented by their mutual pining and then very indecent public make-outs (it was one) for the better half of the year.

“Will you be okay, cooking for all of us with just the three of you,” Yuuta asks in his typical need to offer his help everywhere he goes. Of course, that will never change.

“Takana! Tsuna, shake shake,” Toge finally speaks up, his voice a little rough from disuse. ‘Don’t worry! Go unpack and freshen up, we’re okay’ he wants to convey.

“What the chickpea says,” Maki seconds. What’s up with that nickname all of a sudden? Toge looks over to her with a confused look. She shrugs with feigned innocence.

As Yuuta chuckles and nods in understanding, Toge can't help but feel a mix of relief and disappointment. Relief that he won't have to endure any more of the unsteady beats of his heart born from desperation and longing, but disappointment that his chance to spend more time with Yuuta has slipped away for now.

The rest of the group disperses to their respective tasks and Toge watches Yuuta disappear down the hallway towards his room. He finds himself alone with his thoughts once more, a pang of longing tugging at his heart.

"Are you okay, Toge?" Maki's voice cuts through his reverie, pulling him back to the present.

Toge nods, forcing a small smile. "Takana. Mentaiko ikura."

‘I’m fine. Just tired, I guess.’

Maki eyes him skeptically but doesn't press further, instead turning her attention to the task at hand. Together with Yuuji, they set to work preparing the ingredients for their shabu shabu dinner, their movements quick and efficient.

Meanwhile, Toge shakes the washed napa cabbage and pats it dry. What he can't shake is the feeling of unease that lingers in the pit of his stomach. The thought of conveying his feelings to Yuuta and possibly risking their friendship for the chance at something more terrifies him.

Renewed with a sense of obligation and passion for his honed craft in the kitchen, he is determined to concentrate on cooking for the time being. He wants to prepare a delicious meal for his friend, homesick for a familiar dish, and his friends who came to appreciate the homely atmosphere of the occasional ‘family dinners’ they scheduled every now and then.

Toge likes the thought of that. Yuuta came back. He’s back with his family now.

Enjoying the fluid exchange of responsibilities and kitchen utensils in what is like a perfectly coordinated waltz in their cramped kitchen space, Toge barely even notices the passage of time as they prepare the meal.

“Phewwww,” Yuuji breathes out, “well done, guys!”

They give each other high-fives for what looks and smells like a delicious and hearty meal spread out in various pots and small dishes on the kitchen table. The warmth and savory aromas envelop the area in a fabricated nostalgia for blissful childhood memories most of them probably never had.

“I’ll pick up Nobara and then Panda,” Maki announces. “Yuuji, you go get Megumi and Toge save Yuuta from unpacking. God knows he wants nothing more than to abandon that suitcase for the rest of his life.”

He nods and wordlessly heads to Yuuta’s room. Filled with anticipation of seeing Yuuta enjoy his first meal back home in Japan, he feels more confident to talk to his friend again.

Ignoring the betrayal of his relentlessly disobedient beating heart, he breathes in and out before he knocks on Yuuta’s door.

“It’s okay, you can come in!” he hears from the space within.

Not wasting any time thinking about the nervous flutter in his chest, he opens the door and steps inside.

“Konbu. Yuuta, sha-HA-HAKE,” his flawless control over his emotions crumbles at the sight of Yuuta searching for something in his wardrobe, donned merely in dark grey sweatpants and a white towel draped over his shoulders. His well-built upper body is on full display and Toge… does not dislike it even if his reaction contradicts his inner thoughts.

“OKAKA! MENTAIKO, IKURA!” Toge rushes back out into the corridor and bites his bottom lip with what must be another crimson blush on his face, hand still clutching tightly onto the door handle. This is the closest thing to a squeal he’s ever heard himself utter and he feels giddy and embarrassed all at once.

Footsteps race to the door. “Toge! Sorry, am I late for dinner?” Yuuta asks through the small crack of the opened door.

“O-Okaka! Tsuna Tsuna!” Toge protests. ‘At least put on a freaking t-shirt!’

“Huh? Oh, that! Heh,” Yuuta chuckles and it tugs even more at Toge’s strings. He tries not to betray his yearning to see that view of Yuuta again with any rash moves. “Go on ahead, I’ll be right there,” Yuuta says to him.

Just as he’s about to escape into the steaming hot kitchen where he can explain his blush away with the heat, he feels a tug at his hoodie.

“Ta-Takana?” he asks nervously, turning his head to look at Yuuta even if he’s aware of the danger that this decision entails. But Yuuta looks at him with a cruelly provocative (and one might even say mildly indecent) look with his chest still bared. Toge’s head explodes, hot air steaming off his beet-red face as he tries his hardest not to glance down, face scrunched up in a desperate effort not to dash away immediately. He’s blown his cover and Yuuta would reject his feelings right in this moment, he’s sure of it.

“Save me a spot next to you, will you?” He smiles brilliantly.

Toge blinks at him incredulously.

Yuuta cocks his head to the side, the slight frown reiterating his question with feigned innocence.

“Sh-Shake,” he nods as he breaks free from Yuuta’s grasp and storms off.

He’s a devil, he fumes with humiliation.

“What’s going on with your face, Inumaki-senpai?” Megumi asks him, book in hand, and Yuuji leaning onto him on the couch.

“What’s with your wandering hands, Fushiguro?” Toge snaps.

It’s not true; Megumi’s other hand is lying innocently between him and Yuuji, but it yields the reaction he was looking for anyway. Great, now they’re both blushing at least.

“Hm? What’s wrong, Gumi? You’re all red in your face,” Yuuji observes. Mission successful. Now Toge’s not the (only) idiot with burning red skin anymore.

“Is Okkotsu-senpai coming over already? I’m starviiiiing,” Nobara complains in her collapsed position in one of the armchairs.

With his face returning back to its original color, he turns to his peers and signs that he’ll be there any minute and that they can get seated at the table already. Sure enough, he can hear Yuuta’s footsteps from across the hall walking towards the common area. He apologizes for his lateness and sits down next to Toge with a small smile.

Toge’s heart skips a beat once more.

As they sit around the table, sharing stories and laughter, Toge steals occasional glances at Yuuta whenever he thinks no one is looking. He watches the play of emotions across Yuuta's face, the way his eyes light up with excitement with each spoonful of the fragrant aromas and rich flavors of the meal, and his smile reaches all the way to his eyes.

It has taken him some hours to get used to Yuuta being here with them again—it felt so surreal, too good to be true at first—but he relaxes in his chair and enjoys the warm atmosphere of chatter and laughter all around their table.

As the day draws to a close and the students begin to disperse after their dinner, Toge finds himself lingering behind, unable to shake off the weight of his thoughts of what or how he’ll go about things from tomorrow onwards. He busies himself with some last cleanup efforts as Yuuta exchanges goodnight wishes with their friends, his heart heavy with the uncertainty of what tomorrow might bring.

Just as he's about to wrap up and retreat into his room, he feels a hand on his shoulder, warm and comforting. Startled, he turns to see Yuuta standing beside him, his expression soft and slightly tired.

“Takana, Yuuta?” he asks him with the last ounce of composure he has in him for tonight.

“A-Ah, you’re done here?”

Toge nods.

“Great! I thought that, well—Do you want to come over to watch some videos together? If you’re not too tired, of course,” the slight tremor in his voice reminds Toge of the extremely shy and jumpy person his crush was just a year ago. Returning to this pattern was a little unexpected for Toge, but he also knows he could deal with that Yuuta miles better than his horrible attempts at coping with Yuuta’s more assertive self.

“Shake shake,” he accepts the invitation without thinking.

It only hits him moments later that they haven’t been this physically close in months and the last time they were this close, they were a mess of entangled legs and intimately close hugs.

Where does Yuuta draw the line between platonic and romantic relationships, he wonders.

“Okay, let’s meet in a few minutes then. I’ll go clean up my room a little, but you can come in anytime you like, like always.”

Like always, Toge’s eyes sparkle at that subtle hint of their unchanged level of closeness.

With a nod, Toge watches Yuuta smile at him and retreat to his room, a whirlwind of emotions churning inside him. He can hardly believe that he’ll be in Yuuta’s room again, just the two of them, like they used to be. It feels like a step back in time, to a simpler time when their biggest worry was passing exams and surviving low-level cursed spirits.

Taking a moment to calm the tempest in his mind, Toge makes his way into his own room and freshens up for the night. He brushes his teeth and changes into a long-sleeve shirt that’s a little more form-fitting but more comfortable for sleeping.

Oh god, he realizes. Not only did he change into a more attention-grabbing attire, but he also naturally assumed that he’ll be sleeping over at Yuuta’s.

He chastises himself for these indecent thoughts and pulls the hoodie over the long sleeve after all. It’s been getting colder these days, he rationalizes.

As he heads towards Yuuta's room, Toge's mind races with possibilities.

What will they watch together?

Will they talk about anything significant?

Will they be anywhere close to cuddling and falling asleep together on Yuuta’s bed again?

They may have left that part of their routine unquestioned back then, but they’ve both matured a little since then. There’s no way Yuuta doesn’t realize what that kind of behavior normally means.

Then again, what is Jujutsu society than a bunch of weird people that defy the very notion of normalcy?

Maybe he’s overthinking this; they’re all a little starved for human affection and touch. Yuuta’s always had a special relation to matters of love, he reminds himself. Toge sighs at this unending maelstrom of conflicting emotions.

Knocking lightly on Yuuta's door, Toge waits for a moment before it swings open, revealing Yuuta standing on the other side with a warm smile.

"Hey, Toge! Come on in," Yuuta greets him, still clad in the same white t-shirt and gray sweatpants, stepping aside to let Toge enter.

Toge steps into the room, feeling a strange mix of excitement and apprehension. The room is tidy and inviting, with the soft lighting of his bedside lamp casting a warm glow over the space. Yuuta gestures for Toge to take a seat on the bed while he settles in next to him, scrolling through a list of videos he’s saved on his laptop.

“What would you like to watch, Toge?” Yuuta asks, still busy with the comprehensive list of videos ranging from meme compilations to mukbang creators Toge likes. Yuuta’s kept up with the videos he’s sent him over the last few months.

Toge hesitates a little before he blurts out the first thing that comes into his mind.

“Sujiko takana!”

“Girlfriend Reviews? Ah, that’s right. I guess they have a few videos up that I’ve missed during the months without a console and consolation,” he chuckles. “You’re picking on me for doing my job without any worldly distractions to seduce me? How mean!”

Toge swats Yuuta’s shoulder in mock anger. But also partly because Yuuta’s words carry some double meaning that he’s sure was on purpose. He truly hopes that there’s been no seducing Yuuta by pretty girls during his time away.

Or boys?

Oh god, does Yuuta even like boys like that??

With this added layer of doubt, he’s feeling the heat creep onto his face like an unnecessary piece of clothing hanging heavily over his shoulders. He’s burning up inside and out.

“Takana!” he exclaims without really knowing what he means by that as he turns the lampshade off. At least in the dark, he could preserve a semblance of dignity that his rebellious body refuses him.

“I’m joking, I’m joking,” Yuuta reassures him. He slides towards the wall and props up two pillows against it for more comfort.

He also pulls the blanket over his legs and torso and gestures for Toge to come under it as well with an expectant corner of the blanket still hovering over the mattress as it’s held up by Yuuta.

With a mix of excitement and apprehension, Toge too slips under the blanket although he’s close to sweating in his double-walled heat, one coming from the pulsating rhythm of his heart and the other from the long-sleeve-hoodie-combo he regrets wearing.

They’re sitting close enough for their thighs to touch as they watch multiple videos on the screen that sits comfortably on their legs. They’ve moved on from game reviews to memes now, and Toge’s moved from enduring the palpitations of his heart and his throbbing hot body to heavy breathing for a futile attempt at calm and ventilation respectively.

“You okay? You seem a bit tense, Toge,” Yuuta notes with a worried look.

“Okaka. Ta-takana…,” he averts his gaze from the screen temporarily.

“You look hot,” and Toge’s head snaps back at that within seconds.

“I-Ikura?!”

“Like, warm. You look like you’re dying in that hoodie. I can give you one of my t-shirts,” he smirks teasingly. “What, you were thinking I’d casually hit on you while we’re watching a song about shark plush swallowing shampoo?”

“Okakaaa! Mentaiko, ikura sha—Ko-Konbu?” he clarifies for himself.

‘Hitting on Toge?’ Where did that come from all of a sudden?!

Toge’s speechless and his mouth hangs open in shock. Not just for his own heart exploding out of his chest, but also because of Yuuta’s blushing. Even in the blue light of the screen, it’s as evident as day.

Yuuta is blushing, so so much.

He swallows and looks somewhere to the side, away from Toge’s wide lavender eyes.

“I guess I—It’s a little unexpected and I’m not sure if I should ruin what we have with my…my feelings for you but…” Yuuta begins hesitantly, his voice low and fluctuating.

“Maybe I’m making a huge mistake here and you’ll hate me after I say this,” his gaze falls back on the unblinking, blushing mess before him, “but I’ve been having these thoughts over the past few months. That I want to come back. Come back and run into your arms and fall asleep next to you not because I’m scared but because you make me feel safe.”

There’s a watery gloss over his blue eyes and Toge gulps hard at the implications of just the few sentences that have fallen from Yuuta’s lips. The new video playing in the background becomes nothing more but mere white noise.

“You’re the only person who’s made me feel like nothing is out of place. Like it’s okay for me to be happy like this,” he closes the laptop and slides it off their legs to the small space behind him, and covers Toge’s bare hand with his own warm, slightly sweaty palm. He gives Toge’s pale fingers a gentle caress with his bony digits.

Toge doesn’t recoil but leans into the space between them, unable to hide behind this veil of unspoken words anymore.

He puts every honest and impure intention into one word.

“Yuuta…”

Their faces are only a few centimeters apart now, close enough to feel their breath mixing in the space between them. Toge takes in how beautiful Yuuta looks close up, eyes half-lidded and laden with heavy emotions.

Yuuta’s eyes wander from Toge’s equally seductive glint in his eyes to his mouth, adorned with the seals of the Inumaki clan.

“I’ve been wanting to kiss you for so long,” he leans in further and stops when their lips are only a breath away from each other. “C-Can I?”

Feeling the thunderous beat of his heart inside his throat, Toge struggles to find the right words to say.

He’s not prepared.

This is so unfair, he tells himself.

But does he really have the luxury of complaining when he’s seconds away from his first kiss? His first kiss with the person he loves most.

This moment, uncovering the diabolical lid of the cursed artifact that is symbolic of their life as sorcerers, feels like it could define the rest of their lives.

“Yuuta…” he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper.

It contains hope.

With a shaky breath, Toge closes the distance between them, pressing his lips onto Yuuta’s in a chaste kiss. It’s soft and uncertain, speaking of the unspoken desire, the unspoken love that lingered between them for so long. But as they melt into each other, the kiss deepens, igniting a fire that has long been smoldering between them.

They break apart only for seconds as Yuuta removes the vexing layers of clothing that stand between their bodies and Toge does the same with Yuuta’s t-shirt as he repositions himself onto Yuuta’s lap.

Cradled in Yuuta’s arms, sharing the heat of their bodies that become marks on his skin like blazing red poppies from Yuuta’s exploration of his neck, his clavicle, down to his nipples. He’s pushed down on the mattress from where he carefully places his own kisses and lovebites on Yuuta’s blushing skin. He thinks he’s so beautiful when the pleasure overtakes him and makes him grunt and moan so deliciously.

And in Yuuta's arms, he finds serenity, he finds acceptance, he finds love.

As they break apart, hearts beating fast, colors more vibrant than ever before, Yuuta pushes the hairs out of Toge’s forehead and places a small kiss on it. Then he lays down next to him and pulls Toge against his chest, embracing him tightly in what feels like home.

“Yuuta…” Toge’s whisper laced with cursed energy tickles the hairs on Yuuta’s nape, “I…I love you.”

Yuuta gasps and pulls away a little to look Toge in his eyes. His blue eyes shimmer in the gentle shower of moonlight.

“Toge, I love you too,” he whispers with nothing but worship in his tone. “I love you so, so much. Will you be my boyfriend?”

At this point, he never got the chance to confess when daybreak arrives to signal tomorrow. But it's so much better this way because he’s tired of scheming and waiting. So he swallows his pride and nods once, twice, enough times to convey his undying love for the man in front of him.

And then a smile tugs at the corners of Yuuta’s mouth, and he pulls Toge into another kiss, sealing their love with a promise of being together at long last.

They spent the night, holding each other in a warm embrace as blissful sleep overtakes them.

***

Waking up next to Yuuta, half-naked, is the worst and best feeling in his life.

The best because now he’s finally with the boy he loves. Boyfriends. He needs to pinch himself both for the realization that they really started dating and also for the peaceful, angelic look Yuuta’s sleeping face wears in the first rays of sunshine of the early morning.

The worst because he remembers that he’s lying in the bed of the boy he loves and it’s only a matter of time before somebody finds out that he did and asks inappropriate questions.

He gently tries to wake up his boyfriend, who refuses to let him go.

“Just five more minutes, Toge,” he murmurs with his sleep-addled voice.

“Okaka,” Toge says reluctantly. He doesn’t want to go either, but they promised to spar with the first years and show off Yuuta’s skill with his fancy new cursed techniques.

“Sujiko, tsuna mayo, takana.”

“Mmm… aren’t they making it too big of a deal? It’s not like it’s anything special,” he yawns.

And that’s where Toge untangles himself from Yuuta’s unfairly strong embrace. Yuuta is humble, he knows, but he wishes he wouldn’t undersell himself like that as the youngest of the four only special grade sorcerers in Japan. Of course he’s a big deal! And Toge is as excited to see what his boyfriend is capable of.

“Yuuta, mentaiko ikura, tsuna,” he says as he puts his hoodie back on and heads to the door.

He pulls the door handle down and hesitates before he decides to say it anyway.

“…Umeboshi.”

And then he disappears into the hallway and straight to his own room.

They see each other again at breakfast and exchange shy looks when they think that no one’s looking.

There’s always one person, however. Nothing eludes this particular man’s six eyes, it seems.

“Ah, good morning my dear students! It’s such a beautiful morning,” he cheerfully intrudes on their breakfast. He has the audacity to steal Yuuji’s chocolate croissant. It was already half-eaten.

“Hey, I was taking my time enjoying that one, sensei!” Yuuji complains.

“Oh, and I am a man who enjoys many things in life himself. And one of them happens to be that buttery, sweet chocolate croissant of yours, Yuu-ji-kun.”

It doesn’t make sense at all and it shows on everyone’s disapproving faces.

“But don’t worry, my dear students. I would never get between the things you enjoy that are irreplaceable experiences of youth. Just make sure to be more discreet about the evidence you leave behind,” Gojo winks at Toge and Yuuta.

As if their life depended on it, Toge zips his uniform all the way up and Yuuta hunches his shoulders and tucks his neck deeply into the collar of his. They look guilty as hell.

“Ehehehe, no need to be embarrassed! It happens. Young love is beautiful, am I right, Megumiiii?”

Great, now he’s embarrassed half the table.

Only Panda will be left unaffected if Gojo starts making rounds on everyone.

Luckily Panda saves them from more embarrassment by reminding them of the special demonstration of cursed techniques by Yuuta and the person in question is more than happy to put some distance between him and his peers, and Gojo. Especially Gojo.

So they gather on the training grounds and warm up.

“Senpai! Senpai! Show us your favorite cursed technique!” Yuuji’s back to the puppy eyes from yesterday.

“For that, um…maybe I’ll need Toge’s help with that,” Yuuta says rubbing the back of his nape in a nervous chuckle.

“Hm? Inumaki-senpai? What’s he got to do with that?” Nobara rightly inquires.

Toge nods in agreement as if to say ‘yeah, why me.’

And then Yuuta walks up next to Toge to face the first years. “You could say it looks much cooler when we show it together,” he says with a grin behind his hand.

Yuuta removes his hand to reveal the seals of the snake and fangs on his cheeks and the first years look at them in surprise, shock, and a slight tinge of disappointment.

“What can I say? It’s my favorite,” he smiles tenderly. “I’m feeling most together when I’m with Toge.”