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Ahsoka was alone. She was used to this now - too used to it.
She had been alone since she had been cast out from her own Order and family. They had offered for her to come back, but after the betrayal she had faced she could never return. Nobody had been at her side except for her Master - he was dead now.
Even her own girlfriend had turned her back on her. She had believed her, and knew she was innocent, but she never fought back. She always felt betrayed by that notion.
Now though, Ahsoka understood why Grim had not fought to prove she was innocent. Now Ahsoka understood why Grim let her be expelled from the Jedi Order and did not tell her to come back when she walked away.
Grim had known about the betrayal to come. She had known that the Jedi would be killed. She had wanted to protect her, even if it came at the cost of their relationship.
She thought back to the last time she had seen her. The last time she had held her, and was able to feel her warmth. Grim had told her to leave because she couldn’t bear to say goodbye. She had sent her away with tears in her eyes.
The Jedi were killed only three days later. Grim was likely among them.
She had known what awaited her, what awaited both of them, what awaited the galaxy. That’s why she didn’t want to say goodbye. She knew it would be her last.
Tears began to spring into her eyes. She tried hard not to think of the past. She tried to avoid thinking about what had happened. She tried to busy herself with work, no matter if that was repairing things or fighting the Empire. She did not think about Grim.
But now she did.
During The Clone Wars, Grim had been able to let her forget about the war. With her they were able to be themselves. They were able to be kids, and forget their worries, and responsibilities, and all the horrible things that were happening in the galaxy.
They loved each other. Ahsoka loved her no less when she learned that once she was just a character for her girlfriend. She had told her that it made her no less real.
Ahsoka had never felt the way she felt for Grim, for anyone else. She’s had crushes on other girls, but not in the way that she once had a crush on Grim. For awhile she had fallen in love with another, but it was while she was hidden and Kaedeen would never understand the way that Grim did. The way Grim would.
If she was still around. But she wasn’t.
Ahsoka longed for Grim. She wanted to hold her again. She wanted to feel her warmth, and lie with her as they used to. She wanted to be with her and pretend the war didn’t exist again - just for a moment.
But she knew that could never be. Grim was dead. She had to be, for Ahsoka knew Grim. If Grim was alive she would be here. She would be fighting in this Rebellion. She was never one to stand by when people suffered. She always fought for what she believed, even when it almost killed her. She always fought against evil, she fought for the light in the galaxy. Grim had sacrificed her entire life, her universe, to save this one.
If Grim was alive she would be here.
Grim was dead. So were their Masters. Anakin would be here if he was alive. Obi-Wan would be here if he was alive. They would be together again. She knew them; none of them could stand for what the Empire did. So they had all perished in the Purge.
And Grim had known that would happen. It was why she had asked her to go without a goodbye. She couldn’t stand it. She knew - and Ahsoka was aware that she had given up everything to stop it.
Ahsoka fought on for her. Grim had given up everything to save the galaxy from this future she had known would happen, only to fail and lose everything including her life. She knew, Grim wouldn’t have given up on this galaxy, and so she fought in her memory.
Rue sat alone. She was slowly getting used to being that way, but that didn’t mean she still didn’t miss people. She had so many people who she had lost.
She watched as people talked and laughed and passed her by. She was at a table with her food, her mask was pulled down to her neck. She sat with her left side facing the wall, so that the scar on her face didn’t show. She knew that it would give her away, here on Naboo, she could not get away with it.
Absently she thought of how the restaurant she was at would have made for a great date. I should take Ahsoka here. She mused, with a quiet smile on her face.
Then the smile fell. She looked down at her food instead. She hadn’t seen Ahsoka since they had parted ways in the last days of The Clone Wars. Order 66 had taken place only three days later.
That was four years ago.
She didn’t even know where Ahsoka was. She could have guessed for the first two years, she knew exactly where she had gone into hiding. Except, Grim had gone into hiding as well, and she could not have chased after her.
Now she had no idea where she was. She wouldn’t be able to know where she was, not for years to come.
The last thing she had told her was to go so she wouldn’t have to say goodbye. Oh how she longed for Ahsoka to be by her side now.
Rue knew that Ahsoka would believe she was dead. She knew that she believed the same to be true for their Masters. She wondered if that changed things for her. Has she moved on? They had let each other go before - they had broken up in the past. They had been away from each other twice. Rue would not blame her if she had.
Even if someday they reunited, Grim doubted she could be with her anymore. As much as she longed for her to be by her side, to hold her, to lay her head on her chest and just listen to her heartbeat and know she was alive and that this was real. Not a dream, or fiction, or pretend. That they were together.
That couldn’t be. That could never be again. Grim had tried to kill her Master - her brother. She would have to lie to her, because she knew Anakin was alive and that he had betrayed them. How could she look Ahsoka in the eyes, after what her and Obi-Wan did to someone so close to her? Would she ever understand? Would she ever forgive her?
Rue had spent three years lying to Ben about what had become of Anakin. That he lived through what they had done to him. She had left her father behind because she could lie to him no longer, but still couldn’t tell him the truth, even knowing one day he would learn.
She could not do that again, especially to her. It would break her heart beyond repair.
She longed for Ahsoka. She wanted her by her side, right now. But if she was, what could she say? How could she say it? She couldn’t even say goodbye.
She didn’t know what to say. She was choked with tears that came to life in her eyes. She couldn’t even say her name. She just stared up at her, into her gentle eyes. Tears filled those too.
Ahsoka felt the air leave her as she saw a ghost. Grim was dead. She could have sworn she was dead. Her name found its way onto her lips. “Grim?” She asked, and it was barely above a whisper. She could not believe it.
“Ahsoka,” she gasped. Her voice had summoned her own.
Before she knew what she was doing she ran to her and wrapped her in her arms. Feeling the warmth of her body against her own. She layed her head on her chest and heard her heart, felt her breathe. She was alive. She was real.
Ahsoka returned the embrace as tears began to roll down her cheeks. “I thought you were dead,” she said quietly.
“I knew you would,” she laughed gently. She looked up at her.
Their eyes met.
Ahsoka smiled and laughed, “of course you did.”
She leaned down and their lips touched.
They were no longer alone.